1
00:00:02,370 --> 00:00:03,704
I'm starving.

2
00:00:03,737 --> 00:00:04,972
Any chance that's for me?

3
00:00:05,004 --> 00:00:06,339
Oh, no.
It is for mom.

4
00:00:06,373 --> 00:00:08,242
I'm planning on making
some bad choices tonight,

5
00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:09,877
and I'm gonna need her
on my side.

6
00:00:09,910 --> 00:00:11,244
I never realized
the forethought

7
00:00:11,278 --> 00:00:12,712
that went into
being a disappointment.

8
00:00:12,746 --> 00:00:14,582
Mm.
Hey!

9
00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:16,417
Hey!
Hey, Uncle Mitch.
What are you doing here?

10
00:00:16,449 --> 00:00:17,751
What do you mean?

11
00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:20,120
It's Uncle Mitchell's
birthday fun day.

12
00:00:21,554 --> 00:00:23,022
We know!

13
00:00:23,056 --> 00:00:24,492
Yeah!
Yeah!

14
00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:26,393
We are so excited you are
finally cashing this in.

15
00:00:26,426 --> 00:00:27,760
Me too.

16
00:00:27,795 --> 00:00:29,263
We forgot to get
Uncle Mitchell a present

17
00:00:29,297 --> 00:00:30,664
for his last birthday.

18
00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:32,533
So, we came up with
this great idea --

19
00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:34,667
a coupon for a fun day
with the three of us.

20
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,837
It was perfect
because it was so sweet

21
00:00:36,869 --> 00:00:38,671
and we'd never
have to do it.

22
00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:41,008
I hope you're ready
for your first big surprise!

23
00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:42,343
I am.

24
00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:44,212
It's a super-fun omelet!

25
00:00:44,244 --> 00:00:45,845
Aww!
Uh, yeah!

26
00:00:45,878 --> 00:00:49,250
And if you were wondering
what is so super-fun about that,

27
00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:51,918
is that it comes with
a -- a side of, uh...

28
00:00:51,951 --> 00:00:54,255
Luke's omelet dance!

29
00:00:55,155 --> 00:00:57,557
Don't be shy.
You've been practicing all week.

30
00:00:57,591 --> 00:00:58,792
Come on.

31
00:00:58,826 --> 00:01:01,027
Okay. Uh...

32
00:01:01,060 --> 00:01:02,630
* It's your birthday

33
00:01:02,662 --> 00:01:04,597
* I'm an omelet
Oh.

34
00:01:04,632 --> 00:01:06,599
* It's your birthday

35
00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:09,403
* I'm an omelet,
it's your birthday *

36
00:01:09,436 --> 00:01:11,871
This is
a living nightmare.

37
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:14,307
Why would he just show
up? Shouldn't he have
given us some notice?

38
00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:15,975
I kind of remember him
calling about it,

39
00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:17,478
but I would've put it
in my phone --

40
00:01:17,510 --> 00:01:19,579
oh, there it is.
Of course.

41
00:01:19,612 --> 00:01:21,281
Oh, my God. I'm supposed to be
cat-sitting.

42
00:01:21,314 --> 00:01:22,716
We have to figure out
something good.

43
00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:24,284
He's the first to call us
on our birthdays,

44
00:01:24,317 --> 00:01:26,153
and he always gets us
amazing presents.

45
00:01:26,186 --> 00:01:27,555
Are you even
listening to me?

46
00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:29,323
How long can a cat go
without eating?

47
00:01:29,356 --> 00:01:32,058
Haley, he is
the best uncle there is.

48
00:01:32,091 --> 00:01:34,395
This cannot be
our present.

49
00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:35,896
* It's your birthday

50
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:38,498
* I'm an omelet,
it's your birthday *

51
00:01:38,531 --> 00:01:40,401
* I'm an omelet
I don't know what's happening,
but I love it.

52
00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:42,002
* It's your birthday
* It's my birthday

53
00:01:42,034 --> 00:01:44,305
* I'm an omelet
* You're an omelet

54
00:01:44,337 --> 00:01:48,108
-- captions by VITAC --

55
00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:59,319
(giggling)

56
00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:01,921
if you're going to keep
giggling, I'll do my own nails.

57
00:02:01,954 --> 00:02:04,257
I'm sorry -- it's just funny,
the juxtaposition.

58
00:02:04,292 --> 00:02:06,993
I get it -- I'm Asian.
Ha ha ha.

59
00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:09,362
(doorbell rings)
It's racist, Daddy.

60
00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:11,031
Sorry.

61
00:02:11,063 --> 00:02:13,866
Lily, look who it is --
our lovely Canadian guests.

62
00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:16,135
Please come in.
How is everything upstairs?

63
00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:17,704
It's like a palace
up there.

64
00:02:17,737 --> 00:02:19,907
I keep expecting
to run into Gordon Pinsent.
Ooh.

65
00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:22,810
I'm sorry.

66
00:02:22,842 --> 00:02:24,711
Is he not a big movie star
down here?

67
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:27,548
No. But thank you
for Ryan Reynolds. (chuckles)

68
00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:30,217
One little thing -- we're going
to see the handprints

69
00:02:30,251 --> 00:02:32,319
at the Chinese Theater,
and I'm worried

70
00:02:32,353 --> 00:02:35,288
it's going to look disrespectful
if Rob wears shorts.

71
00:02:35,323 --> 00:02:38,125
Honey, it's 55 degrees out.
I'm not wearing long pants.

72
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,793
You're fine.
It's Hollywood.

73
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,662
There'll be people there
with no pants.

74
00:02:41,694 --> 00:02:44,331
Hi, Lily.
Lily,
say hi to Monte.

75
00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:45,598
Hi.

76
00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:49,336
I'm...sorry.
She's never this shy.

77
00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:51,604
No, we' sorry.
Seems like something scared her.

78
00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:56,009
Ohhhh.

79
00:02:56,043 --> 00:02:57,245
(chuckles)

80
00:02:57,277 --> 00:02:59,212
It was adorable.

81
00:02:59,247 --> 00:03:02,483
Lily was clearly smitten
with that little Canadian Monte.
[Mountie]

82
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:04,752
Just heard that.
Delightful.

83
00:03:04,784 --> 00:03:07,555
It was a rite of passage that
I had been looking forward to --

84
00:03:07,587 --> 00:03:09,389
my daughter's first crush.

85
00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:10,924
And I wanted to be there for her

86
00:03:10,957 --> 00:03:12,925
in a way
that no one was there for me.

87
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,596
Of course, my first crush
was on a statue

88
00:03:15,628 --> 00:03:18,566
of a Confederate general
in front of a courthouse.

89
00:03:18,598 --> 00:03:20,033
That's the same year they put up

90
00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:22,902
the "Do not climb the statue"
signs.

91
00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:26,373
Hey.
Sorry I'm late.

92
00:03:26,407 --> 00:03:28,675
Is this shirt okay?
I got another one in the car.

93
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,443
It's just lunch.
Calm down.

94
00:03:30,478 --> 00:03:32,445
Your boyfriend's
gonna love it.

95
00:03:32,479 --> 00:03:34,914
Last summer, Phil and I
went to Cabo for five days,

96
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:38,252
and we met Tom and Lisa Delaney,
and we had so much fun,

97
00:03:38,286 --> 00:03:40,521
we make sure to see them
every time they're in town.

98
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:42,855
Tom's a hugely successful
investment banker.
Yeah.

99
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:45,692
He does tons of charity work,
he runs a marathon in 3:24,

100
00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:47,427
and he flies
his own helicopter.

101
00:03:47,461 --> 00:03:49,228
Yeah, and Lisa...

102
00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:51,063
Yeah,
she is one lucky lady.

103
00:03:51,998 --> 00:03:53,433
Before they get here,

104
00:03:53,466 --> 00:03:56,036
can you promise me
you won't pick up the check?

105
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,271
Why?

106
00:03:57,305 --> 00:03:58,805
Oh, honey,
I like them,

107
00:03:58,838 --> 00:04:01,308
but we've seen them
three times since Cabo.

108
00:04:01,342 --> 00:04:04,076
Every time, they order
the most expensive stuff.

109
00:04:04,110 --> 00:04:06,313
They are the richest people
we know --

110
00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:07,881
thank you --

111
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:10,651
and yet I have not seen him
reach for the check once.

112
00:04:10,683 --> 00:04:12,419
Tom has trouble
reaching for stuff.

113
00:04:12,453 --> 00:04:14,388
He hurt his shoulder
pitching in college.

114
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:15,756
Division 1.

115
00:04:15,788 --> 00:04:17,490
You feel a need
to pick up the check because

116
00:04:17,524 --> 00:04:19,726
you're intimidated by him
and you want to prove something.

117
00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:21,829
That's crazy. I just don't like
it when the bill sits there.

118
00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:23,096
It's awkward.

119
00:04:23,129 --> 00:04:24,398
You can't just
roll over on something

120
00:04:24,432 --> 00:04:25,665
'cause it makes you feel
uncomfortable.

121
00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:27,800
Whatever you want.
Hello, beautiful.

122
00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:29,302
Ohh!
Hi, handsome.

123
00:04:29,336 --> 00:04:32,439
(both laugh)

124
00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:33,673
Hey, you two.

125
00:04:33,706 --> 00:04:36,076
Hey!
Hi!

126
00:04:36,108 --> 00:04:38,011
Hi!
Oh, my gosh.

127
00:04:38,045 --> 00:04:40,348
It is so great
to see you guys.

128
00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:41,915
And you.
Let's get some champagne.

129
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:44,050
Let's do it.
Mm-hmm.

130
00:04:46,553 --> 00:04:47,821
Okay, that's it.

131
00:04:47,855 --> 00:04:49,990
If you hate it so much,
just tell me.

132
00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:51,959
Fine.
Your cologne is horrible.

133
00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:53,927
You smell like
a stripper died in a cabin.

134
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,663
I'm not talking about
my cologne.

135
00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:59,199
That's why I hang back and wait
for him to get specific.

136
00:04:59,231 --> 00:05:00,468
My mustache.

137
00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:02,002
I've been growing it
for weeks,

138
00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:04,303
and the two of you have been
conspicuously silent.

139
00:05:04,338 --> 00:05:06,874
It's very dashing.
What mustache?

140
00:05:06,906 --> 00:05:09,476
Right, Jay. Like I'm supposed to
believe you didn't see it.

141
00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:11,478
You got me.

142
00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:12,946
Check you later, Serpico.

143
00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:14,648
(laughing) Serpico!

144
00:05:14,682 --> 00:05:16,350
You don't even know
who that is.

145
00:05:16,384 --> 00:05:18,050
Jay.

146
00:05:18,084 --> 00:05:20,387
Where are you going
with your golf clubs?

147
00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:23,055
Take a shot
in the dark.
But we have a playdate.

148
00:05:23,089 --> 00:05:24,557
Really? We just had one
last night.

149
00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:25,893
Not that
I'm saying no --

150
00:05:25,925 --> 00:05:28,161
just quicker turnaround
than usual.

151
00:05:28,194 --> 00:05:29,862
A playdate for Joe.

152
00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:32,199
And both parents are coming,
so you have to be here.

153
00:05:32,231 --> 00:05:33,733
You've got to be
kidding me.

154
00:05:33,766 --> 00:05:35,468
I mean, it's bad enough
that these kids today

155
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,336
have to make a date
to play with each other.

156
00:05:37,370 --> 00:05:38,906
They can't go in the street
and kick a can

157
00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:41,709
or drool over a friend's
centerfold of Kim Novak.

158
00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:43,310
Say something
I understand.

159
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:46,213
Why do we all have to sit around
and watch our kids play?

160
00:05:46,245 --> 00:05:48,247
Because that's
what people do now.

161
00:05:48,281 --> 00:05:50,216
And Joe is very excited
about it.

162
00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:51,884
His first real friend.

163
00:05:51,918 --> 00:05:53,887
Gloria...
What's the problem?

164
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,523
I like the mom,
and everybody says

165
00:05:55,555 --> 00:05:57,425
that you and the dad
have a lot in common.

166
00:05:57,457 --> 00:05:58,692
It's going to be fun.

167
00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:00,860
(doorbell rings)

168
00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:04,331
Come in, everybody.

169
00:06:04,363 --> 00:06:05,665
Hi!

170
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:08,536
Gloria, this is
my husband, Marty.

171
00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:10,036
Look at you.

172
00:06:10,069 --> 00:06:11,672
Pretty as a pinup.

173
00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:14,240
And where's the lucky husband
I've been hearing about?

174
00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:16,175
Marty, that's Jay.

175
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,011
Oh, good.
You are old.

176
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:20,680
(chuckling) I was scared
they were exaggerating.

177
00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:21,949
(chuckles)

178
00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:26,887
Um, so...I don't want
to spoil any surprises,

179
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,788
but, uh,
if you had to guess,

180
00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:31,559
what -- what would you say
we're doing today?

181
00:06:31,591 --> 00:06:34,394
Yeah, let's just see if you pick
what we have planned.

182
00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:36,362
Let's see.
Oh, my God.

183
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,764
Is it that farm in Oxnard

184
00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:40,132
where cam and Lily and I
went strawberry-picking?

185
00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:42,034
We had
the most wonderful --

186
00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:43,937
(tires squeal)
Ow.

187
00:06:43,971 --> 00:06:46,273
Sorry, but you are just
so great at this game.

188
00:06:46,305 --> 00:06:48,307
But it's not strawberry season,
so it can't be that.

189
00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:52,045
Which is exactly
why we didn't pick that.

190
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:54,413
Okay,
so...guess again.

191
00:06:54,447 --> 00:06:56,584
Wait --
do I smell the ocean?

192
00:06:56,617 --> 00:06:57,884
Are you taking me to that
fabulous Carlton's on the beach?

193
00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,119
They have the most --

194
00:06:59,151 --> 00:07:00,553
(tires squeal)
Ow!

195
00:07:00,588 --> 00:07:02,221
Well, we're not making
any promises,

196
00:07:02,254 --> 00:07:04,257
but that would be
a pretty good guess.

197
00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:06,793
If they weren't closed
for renovations.

198
00:07:06,826 --> 00:07:08,762
Damn it!
Think, Uncle Mitchell.

199
00:07:08,795 --> 00:07:11,264
It's getting a little
warm in here. Do you mind
if we crack a window?

200
00:07:11,298 --> 00:07:12,932
Unless I've already
done that with my head.

201
00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:14,968
(chuckles)
We -- we need
to stop for gas, okay?

202
00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:16,803
Just keep your blindfold on,
Uncle Mitchell.

203
00:07:16,836 --> 00:07:18,071
Okay.

204
00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:20,106
Fine.
This is fine.

205
00:07:20,139 --> 00:07:21,509
Fill 'er up!

206
00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:24,110
(Southern accent)
Yes, ma'am.
Seriously?

207
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:30,983
We can't just keep
driving around.

208
00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:32,519
We need to go
somewhere.

209
00:07:32,552 --> 00:07:34,822
Focus, people.
What does Uncle Mitchell like?

210
00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:36,355
I don't know. Gay things,
right? What's the gayest
thing you can think of?

211
00:07:36,389 --> 00:07:37,691
(scoffs)
He's married to it.

212
00:07:37,725 --> 00:07:39,058
Hey, look.

213
00:07:41,327 --> 00:07:43,764
Everybody loves stars.
We could take him on a tour.

214
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,165
Driving around
looking at houses

215
00:07:45,197 --> 00:07:46,800
isn't much
of a birthday fun day.

216
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,367
We need more time.

217
00:07:49,369 --> 00:07:50,803
Let's knock him out.

218
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,779
Charlize Theron,
Harrison Ford, Halle Berry...

219
00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:01,514
None of these seem
very Uncle Mitchell.

220
00:08:01,548 --> 00:08:03,550
What does
Uncle Mitchell like?
Gay things.

221
00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:05,952
Then here's
the mother lode.

222
00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:07,954
Barbra Streisand!
Perfect!

223
00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:10,290
Okay, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait. How do we
know these maps are real?

224
00:08:10,322 --> 00:08:12,291
You think I built this
whole business on fake maps?

225
00:08:12,324 --> 00:08:14,127
What business?
You got a sign and a lawn chair.

226
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:17,497
Can we wrap this up? I might
still have a cat to feed.

227
00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:21,834
Phil must have taken
100 pictures of me on the beach

228
00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:24,838
just to get one shot
of the topless women behind me.

229
00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:26,673
There were topless women
behind you?

230
00:08:26,706 --> 00:08:28,207
(both laugh)
Uh-huh.

231
00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:29,677
Here you go. I'll just take this
when you're ready.

232
00:08:29,709 --> 00:08:31,879
Oh, okay.
Thank you.

233
00:08:33,913 --> 00:08:36,048
So, what do you two have planned
for the rest of today?

234
00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:37,717
Nothing...really.

235
00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:39,552
But if you need
to wind it up, it's --

236
00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:41,354
Nah. We're good.

237
00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:43,823
(chuckles)
Yeah, good. Good.

238
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:46,894
Do you guys, uh, you have
any fun trips planned or...

239
00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:49,229
Well, I was planning
on visiting the restroom,

240
00:08:49,261 --> 00:08:51,698
and if all goes well,
then maybe Spain in April.

241
00:08:51,731 --> 00:08:52,932
Adios, amigo.

242
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:54,201
(laughter)

243
00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:55,769
iVaya con dios!

244
00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:57,070
(chuckles)

245
00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:59,005
You want to keep that hand,
amigo?

246
00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:00,908
And France
was just beautiful.

247
00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:02,942
MARTY: I hadn't been there
since D-Day.

248
00:09:02,975 --> 00:09:04,344
Took me
the same amount of time

249
00:09:04,376 --> 00:09:05,745
to get across that beach,
though.

250
00:09:05,778 --> 00:09:07,014
(both chuckle)

251
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:08,215
You were
in the service?

252
00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:09,448
Yeah,
but different war.

253
00:09:09,481 --> 00:09:10,850
Oh, Korea. Me too.

254
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,552
No, next war.
Keep going.

255
00:09:12,586 --> 00:09:15,087
Anybody want some cheese?
Ah.

256
00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:17,524
Not me.
Gums up the old ticker.

257
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,359
(chuckles)
Jay knows about that.

258
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,628
No idea.
Love the stuff.

259
00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:22,195
Just be careful
with the almonds.

260
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:23,596
You may break
the denture.

261
00:09:23,630 --> 00:09:25,365
Uh, it's not a denture.
It's an implant.

262
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:26,966
How many times
have we been over this?

263
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,601
You forget stuff,
too, huh?

264
00:09:28,635 --> 00:09:30,236
I never forget
anything.

265
00:09:30,269 --> 00:09:32,371
When we park at the mall,
we have to take a picture.

266
00:09:32,404 --> 00:09:34,474
Jay, Gloria tells me you have
kids from your first marriage.

267
00:09:34,506 --> 00:09:35,743
So does Marty.

268
00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:38,912
Yeah.
My oldest is, uh, 66.

269
00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:41,380
Was.
She passed last year.

270
00:09:41,413 --> 00:09:43,716
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Well, that's young.
What was it?

271
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,753
Natural causes.

272
00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:47,486
I blame most of it
on stress.

273
00:09:47,519 --> 00:09:49,789
So much more pressure
than there was years ago.

274
00:09:49,822 --> 00:09:51,057
Back in our day --

275
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,459
Different day.
Not the same day.

276
00:09:52,491 --> 00:09:54,293
Actually more
your dead daughter's day.

277
00:09:54,326 --> 00:09:55,928
May she rest in peace.

278
00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:00,133
Mom, we need to talk.

279
00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:02,469
What are you doing here?
You're supposed to be
watching the kids.

280
00:10:02,501 --> 00:10:04,571
Wesley is a bad influence
on Joe.

281
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,405
He's rude
and disrespectful,

282
00:10:06,438 --> 00:10:08,441
and I think you should
nip this friendship in the bud.

283
00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:10,277
He made fun of your mustache,
didn't he?

284
00:10:10,309 --> 00:10:12,345
What kind of 4-year-old
knows the word "wispy"?

285
00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:13,613
(sighs)

286
00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:15,447
Manny, look at me.

287
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,952
This close,
and I still couldn't see it.

288
00:10:19,986 --> 00:10:22,188
It's just for
a little while longer, okay?

289
00:10:22,221 --> 00:10:23,856
Fine.

290
00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:26,860
But if they mess with me,
I'm gonna mess with them.

291
00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:32,131
How many times a night
do you have to get up to pee?

292
00:10:32,164 --> 00:10:33,533
I'm up to four or five.

293
00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:35,769
Not me, old-timer.
Twice tops.

294
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:37,770
Once last month,
I even slept through the night.

295
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,038
Now, I'm gonna
refresh this

296
00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:41,040
'cause I got nothing
to worry about.

297
00:10:42,408 --> 00:10:43,844
I'm literally
in a pissing contest

298
00:10:43,876 --> 00:10:46,046
with the son of a bitch.

299
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,881
Why are we eating
off the good china?

300
00:10:48,915 --> 00:10:50,549
Because we're having company
for lunch.

301
00:10:50,582 --> 00:10:52,284
Who's coming?

302
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:55,154
Okay, I invited Monte
and his family from upstairs.

303
00:10:55,187 --> 00:10:57,557
What?! Why?!

304
00:10:57,590 --> 00:10:59,960
Because a daddy can tell when
his little girl has a crush.

305
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,528
I don't know
what you're talking about.

306
00:11:01,561 --> 00:11:03,196
Hey, Lily,
where are you going?

307
00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:04,496
Look, I want you
to be able to talk to me

308
00:11:04,530 --> 00:11:05,832
about this kind of stuff.

309
00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:08,168
It's completely natural
and healthy

310
00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:10,169
to have feelings
for someone.

311
00:11:10,202 --> 00:11:12,404
And you know what?
I think he likes you, too.

312
00:11:12,438 --> 00:11:13,807
You just have to
draw him out, you know?

313
00:11:13,841 --> 00:11:15,808
Flirt a little.
How?

314
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:17,644
Uh, well, you just
sit down in front of him,

315
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,812
look him straight in the eye,
put a big smile on your face,

316
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,514
and ask him
some questions,

317
00:11:21,548 --> 00:11:23,984
like, "So,
do you have any hobbies?

318
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:27,153
Is Canada really as beautiful
as they say it is?

319
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,489
Are you a fan of the bacon?"
(giggles)

320
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,091
Why are you blinking
like that?

321
00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:32,893
Well, because
I'm sending him signals.

322
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,360
Okay, what else?
Oh.

323
00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:35,895
Definitely compliment him
on his outfit,

324
00:11:35,928 --> 00:11:37,163
laugh at his jokes.

325
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:38,498
What if
they aren't funny?

326
00:11:38,530 --> 00:11:40,332
Oh, honey,
the cute ones rarely are.

327
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:42,068
God doesn't give
with both hands.

328
00:11:43,135 --> 00:11:45,004
Okay, do not have
a heart attack,

329
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,073
but when you take off
your blindfold,

330
00:11:47,106 --> 00:11:50,043
you will be standing
in front of none other

331
00:11:50,076 --> 00:11:52,544
than the legendary
superstar...

332
00:11:52,578 --> 00:11:54,614
Who?
...the one and only...

333
00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:56,950
Who?
...Ms. Barbra Streisand--

334
00:11:56,984 --> 00:11:58,217
Oh, my!
...'s house.

335
00:11:58,250 --> 00:11:59,886
Ah -- oh.

336
00:11:59,919 --> 00:12:01,520
Oh, are you serious?
She actually lives here?

337
00:12:01,553 --> 00:12:02,755
Yeah.
Well...

338
00:12:02,789 --> 00:12:04,024
I can't believe it.

339
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,457
Dude, look.
Her gate is open.

340
00:12:05,491 --> 00:12:07,460
We should get a picture of you
in her driveway.

341
00:12:07,494 --> 00:12:09,763
How awesome of a birthday
fun day gift would that be?

342
00:12:09,797 --> 00:12:11,464
Okay. You know what?
Pepper would die.

343
00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:13,432
He loved "Yentl" so much,
he had a second bar mitzvah.

344
00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:15,368
Oh.
Yeah. Okay, let's --
let's do it.

345
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:16,635
Okay, right in front
of the house.

346
00:12:16,668 --> 00:12:17,904
Yeah.
This is fantastic.

347
00:12:17,937 --> 00:12:19,572
* Pepper,
can you hear me? *

348
00:12:19,605 --> 00:12:21,707
* Pepper,
can you see me? *

349
00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:23,710
* Pepper, I am standing
in the driveway *

350
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,111
Excuse me.
Can I help you?

351
00:12:25,144 --> 00:12:26,779
Oh, I'm so sorry.
We were just --

352
00:12:26,813 --> 00:12:28,315
Oh, my God.
You're Ray Liotta.

353
00:12:28,347 --> 00:12:30,649
Wow.
He really is a big fan.

354
00:12:30,682 --> 00:12:32,919
He even knows
the name of her gardener.
Ah.

355
00:12:38,524 --> 00:12:40,159
"Goodfellas"?
"Something Wild"?

356
00:12:40,192 --> 00:12:42,129
"Field of Dreams"?
"Field of Dreams."

357
00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:43,395
Never seen it.
Okay,
we're really not that old.

358
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:45,065
Look, Ray Liotta
is a very fine actor,

359
00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:47,399
and we have taken up
enough of his time.

360
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:49,568
Stop saying my full name
like you have to keep
telling them who I am.

361
00:12:49,601 --> 00:12:50,837
Well...

362
00:12:50,870 --> 00:12:53,173
So, wait -- you live
with Barbra Streisand?

363
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:55,575
Y-Y-You got the map.
Yeah.

364
00:12:55,607 --> 00:12:58,745
She lived here for about
2 months 15 years ago.
Oh.

365
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,413
You think the bastards
would update these things

366
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:03,750
to reflect the current
movie-star owners.

367
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:06,086
Thank you. Come on, kids. We're
very sorry to have bothered you.

368
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:08,321
No, no, no. I don't want you
to leave empty-handed.

369
00:13:08,355 --> 00:13:10,957
Come on in
for a selfie.
Oh. All right.
Um...

370
00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:12,192
Here.
O-Okay.

371
00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:14,461
When you see my movies
later,

372
00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:16,696
you're gonna realize
that this is a special moment.

373
00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:18,030
Come on.
And "cheeeeese"!

374
00:13:18,065 --> 00:13:19,532
Cheese!

375
00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:21,433
See? That's an old actor's trick
for a perfect smile.

376
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:23,336
Except you and I are smiling.
You guys aren't smiling.

377
00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:24,604
W-What's the matter?

378
00:13:24,636 --> 00:13:26,038
It's not you,
Mr. Liotta.

379
00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:28,207
We just really feel like
we let our uncle down.

380
00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:31,278
We were supposed to plan
a special day for his birthday,

381
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:32,511
and we totally flaked.

382
00:13:32,544 --> 00:13:33,846
We're so sorry.

383
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:35,815
We tried to figure out
where to take you,

384
00:13:35,849 --> 00:13:38,451
and we know how much
you love Barbra Streisand.

385
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,486
You always give us
the most awesome gifts.

386
00:13:40,519 --> 00:13:41,721
We suck.

387
00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:43,023
Don't say that.

388
00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:44,691
I kind of figured
you didn't have anything

389
00:13:44,724 --> 00:13:46,293
by the second verse
of the omelet dance.

390
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:47,860
Hey,
I've had no training.

391
00:13:47,894 --> 00:13:50,062
But then I saw how hard you were
trying to make me happy,

392
00:13:50,096 --> 00:13:52,831
and I just love
hanging out with you guys.

393
00:13:52,865 --> 00:13:55,567
Plus, I did get to meet
Ray Lio--

394
00:13:55,601 --> 00:13:56,836
Ray.

395
00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:58,837
You're also gonna meet
Barbra.

396
00:13:58,871 --> 00:14:00,472
What? No.

397
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,208
I've been meaning
to go by her house anyway.

398
00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:03,876
I've got
a bunch of her mail.

399
00:14:03,910 --> 00:14:05,644
Oh, you don't
have to do that.

400
00:14:05,677 --> 00:14:07,547
No, no, no, no.
You remind me of --

401
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:09,581
of someone that I loved
when I was a kid.

402
00:14:09,615 --> 00:14:10,884
I had a funny uncle,
too.

403
00:14:10,918 --> 00:14:12,251
Oh.

404
00:14:12,284 --> 00:14:14,020
This is
so nice of you.

405
00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:15,355
Well, I must admit,

406
00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:17,057
I-I have a little bit
of an ulterior motive.

407
00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:21,260
I think Lily has a giant crush
on your little guy.

408
00:14:21,293 --> 00:14:22,528
I kind of wanted
to set them up.

409
00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:24,197
I know --
I'm a hopeless romantic.

410
00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:25,764
Oh!
That's so cute!

411
00:14:25,798 --> 00:14:28,335
I remember my first crush.
It was at summer camp.

412
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,403
I lived in Toronto,
and he was from Edmonton,

413
00:14:30,437 --> 00:14:31,870
so it was
very star-crossed.

414
00:14:31,904 --> 00:14:34,006
Just like
our little Romeo and Juliet.

415
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,841
He was the first boy
I ever loved.

416
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,710
Billy Macklin.
(inhales sharply)

417
00:14:37,744 --> 00:14:40,346
God. I haven't
thought of him in years.

418
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:41,780
Do you have
any hobbies?

419
00:14:41,813 --> 00:14:43,250
Well,
I like rock climbing.

420
00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:44,517
I collect Pokémon --

421
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:46,019
I hear Canada's nice.

422
00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:47,354
Do you like bacon?

423
00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:48,721
Okay, you know what,
I'm just gonna --

424
00:14:48,754 --> 00:14:50,057
After that summer,
things got pretty rough.

425
00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:52,058
Dad died,
Mom started drinking.

426
00:14:52,091 --> 00:14:53,592
(voice breaking)
It was a lot to handle.

427
00:14:53,625 --> 00:14:56,296
I love your shirt.
Is it new?

428
00:14:56,328 --> 00:14:58,197
Oh, I think this shirt's
older than you are.

429
00:14:58,230 --> 00:14:59,798
Oh! Ha ha ha ha!

430
00:14:59,831 --> 00:15:01,934
Okay, Lily, can I see you
in the bedroom, please?

431
00:15:01,969 --> 00:15:05,138
Older than I am --
oh, Rob, you're killing me!

432
00:15:05,172 --> 00:15:07,106
Okay,
we'll be right back.

433
00:15:07,139 --> 00:15:08,408
And enough.

434
00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:11,278
What are you doing
out there?

435
00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:13,046
What you told me.

436
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:14,913
I think
it's going pretty good.

437
00:15:14,947 --> 00:15:16,783
I thought
your crush was on Monte.

438
00:15:16,816 --> 00:15:18,585
You can't flirt
with a grown man.

439
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:21,120
But you said --
No.
It's not appropriate.

440
00:15:21,153 --> 00:15:23,990
Oh, no! I'm never
talking to a boy ever again!

441
00:15:24,024 --> 00:15:26,458
Lily, you have nothing
to be ashamed of.

442
00:15:26,493 --> 00:15:29,395
If anything,
this is -- this is my fault.

443
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:32,932
I thought you meant Monte,
and I confused you.

444
00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:34,167
(sighs)

445
00:15:34,201 --> 00:15:35,902
Can I...tell you
a little secret?

446
00:15:35,934 --> 00:15:37,669
No!

447
00:15:37,703 --> 00:15:39,772
Well, when I made a move
on my first crush,

448
00:15:39,806 --> 00:15:41,274
it went way worse.

449
00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:44,277
It was New Year's Eve,
and I went to give him a kiss,

450
00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:46,312
and my tongue froze
to his cheek.

451
00:15:47,879 --> 00:15:49,415
Why did it freeze?

452
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:51,317
It was cold,
and he was made out of bronze,

453
00:15:51,350 --> 00:15:53,986
(voice breaking) and I don't
want to talk about this anymore.

454
00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:56,755
What are you
doing?

455
00:15:56,788 --> 00:15:59,359
Marty said guys our age
can't do 10 sit-ups.

456
00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:01,793
I don't remember saying it,
but it sounds like me.

457
00:16:01,827 --> 00:16:03,763
Jay, may I speak with you
for a moment?

458
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,197
All right.

459
00:16:06,732 --> 00:16:08,301
(grunts)

460
00:16:08,335 --> 00:16:09,535
Ah, crap!

461
00:16:09,568 --> 00:16:11,504
Uh, here.
L-Let me help you.

462
00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:12,772
Aah!
I'm going down!

463
00:16:12,804 --> 00:16:15,008
Aah! Vicky!

464
00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:17,876
What is wrong with you
today?

465
00:16:17,909 --> 00:16:19,278
I'm sick of
Marty lumping me

466
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:20,846
into the same age category
as him.

467
00:16:20,879 --> 00:16:22,448
"Guys like us,"
"Back in our day."

468
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:24,017
I'm a Baby Boomer,
for God's sake.

469
00:16:24,051 --> 00:16:25,884
I know all the words
to "Light My Fire."

470
00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:27,886
Jay, you have to stop
thinking only about you.

471
00:16:27,919 --> 00:16:30,557
Yeah, I know, I know.
I should think about Joe.

472
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:31,957
No -- me!

473
00:16:31,990 --> 00:16:34,061
Do you know
that Vicky and I

474
00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:36,629
are the oldest moms
in the class -- by a lot?

475
00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:38,565
So?

476
00:16:38,597 --> 00:16:39,865
This might surprise you,

477
00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:41,634
but aging is also a big deal
for women.

478
00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:43,135
I need Vicky
to be my friend.

479
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:45,837
I feel out of place
around all those young moms.

480
00:16:45,871 --> 00:16:47,840
And if you don't like
her husband,

481
00:16:47,874 --> 00:16:49,576
maybe
she'll stop liking me.

482
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:51,711
Gloria, I'm trying,
but it's --

483
00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:53,212
At least you're not
the oldest dad.

484
00:16:53,245 --> 00:16:54,480
Can't you enjoy that?

485
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:55,847
When was the last time

486
00:16:55,881 --> 00:16:58,551
that you were
the young stud in the room?

487
00:16:58,585 --> 00:17:00,586
When I put Mom
in that nursing home.

488
00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:01,854
That was quite a rush.

489
00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:03,090
So, are you
going to be nice?

490
00:17:03,123 --> 00:17:04,391
Yes.
He's not a bad guy.

491
00:17:04,423 --> 00:17:05,758
And really,
how much longer

492
00:17:05,791 --> 00:17:07,493
am I gonna have to
put up with him?

493
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,195
Ay, no, Jay.
Don't say that.

494
00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:10,762
You're going to live
a long life.

495
00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:12,598
Not me!
Grandpa out there!

496
00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:14,067
Shh!
He can hear you.

497
00:17:14,101 --> 00:17:15,402
Hear what?

498
00:17:15,434 --> 00:17:16,669
You were talking
about my mustache again?

499
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:18,671
No, Manny.
We love your mustache.

500
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,173
Oh, hilarious.

501
00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:21,740
Tell me you like it
now that I've shaved it off!

502
00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:25,678
Black mother and white father,
but I've never met him.

503
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,713
Ah.
That's a story
that should be out there more --

504
00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:29,082
white fathers
who abandon their families.

505
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:31,884
What else?
What else?

506
00:17:31,917 --> 00:17:34,221
So, this is Walter.

507
00:17:34,253 --> 00:17:36,888
Just as I took over for Jeremy
when his shift ended,

508
00:17:36,923 --> 00:17:38,458
he'll be taking over
for me.

509
00:17:38,490 --> 00:17:39,791
Unless you're ready?

510
00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:42,295
I think we're still talking.
But thanks.

511
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:45,964
Walter? Could I ask you a quick
question right over there?

512
00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:48,367
I'll be right back, too.

513
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,636
Hey! I just need a minute alone
with my husband. Thank you.

514
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:52,771
There is no way
you are paying that bill.

515
00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:54,406
It has been out there
forever,

516
00:17:54,441 --> 00:17:56,276
and he hasn't even pretended
to reach for his wallet.

517
00:17:56,308 --> 00:17:58,877
This is torture, Claire.
I'll pay anything to end it.

518
00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,212
Stay strong.

519
00:18:00,247 --> 00:18:02,882
(grunting) I'm weak.
You married a weak man!

520
00:18:02,914 --> 00:18:05,285
Give it to me.
Give it -- Phil --

521
00:18:06,653 --> 00:18:07,953
No! Walter! Walter!

522
00:18:07,987 --> 00:18:09,221
Walter!

523
00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:10,423
D'Ohh!

524
00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:12,057
Okay.
Here's the thing.

525
00:18:12,090 --> 00:18:13,559
We like hanging out --
No, Claire! No!

526
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,094
I know
what this is about.

527
00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:16,796
Tom, you should have
paid the check. It's rude.

528
00:18:16,828 --> 00:18:18,265
He's not rude. He's wonderful.
I had to pay.

529
00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:19,632
Why?

530
00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:21,567
Phil, don't you say
another word! Ow!

531
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,102
See? I told you.
What the hell
is going on here?

532
00:18:23,135 --> 00:18:24,804
Nothing.
Phil?

533
00:18:24,836 --> 00:18:26,105
Fine --
if you have to know

534
00:18:26,138 --> 00:18:28,441
every last detail
about my life...

535
00:18:28,474 --> 00:18:30,509
I lost a bet to Tom in Cabo.
Now I owe him five meals.

536
00:18:30,542 --> 00:18:32,345
There -- we're done.
That's it.

537
00:18:32,378 --> 00:18:34,413
Why didn't you
just say that?

538
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,949
Th-- there's no reason.
I don't...

539
00:18:36,982 --> 00:18:38,851
What...was...the bet?

540
00:18:38,884 --> 00:18:40,987
Phil, I mean it --
don't say another word.

541
00:18:41,019 --> 00:18:43,355
They're gonna
figure it out, Tom.

542
00:18:43,390 --> 00:18:45,758
How could they
figure out, Phil?
They're gonna
figure it out.

543
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:48,627
We were drunk on margaritas,
and we wanted to find out

544
00:18:48,661 --> 00:18:50,497
whose wife would eat
the most crickets.

545
00:18:50,529 --> 00:18:51,998
What?!
What?!

546
00:18:52,030 --> 00:18:53,665
Doesn't seem like
they were circling that, Phil.

547
00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:55,602
You were just
g-grabbing crickets

548
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:57,503
and sneaking them
into our food?

549
00:18:57,537 --> 00:19:00,207
Not live ones.
They were roasted.

550
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:01,473
Oh, my God!

551
00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:02,974
You're disgusting people.

552
00:19:03,009 --> 00:19:04,876
You're missing
the silver lining here, honey.

553
00:19:04,911 --> 00:19:06,212
I lost the bet.

554
00:19:06,246 --> 00:19:07,480
So I didn't
eat crickets?

555
00:19:07,513 --> 00:19:09,182
You ate three.
Ohh!

556
00:19:09,215 --> 00:19:10,950
Lisa had six.
Six?!

557
00:19:10,982 --> 00:19:12,318
You could've won
with four!

558
00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:14,320
Baby, baby,
I couldn't take that chance.

559
00:19:19,991 --> 00:19:22,161
I'd like to give you two a
little something to think about.

560
00:19:22,194 --> 00:19:24,330
Most of the food you eat
is prepared by us.

561
00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:26,898
Or by our private chef.
But I-I like where you're going.

562
00:19:26,932 --> 00:19:29,635
Next time you take a bite
of a big, juicy burger

563
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:31,538
or dig into
a bowl of spaghetti,

564
00:19:31,570 --> 00:19:33,705
there's gonna be an extra
special ingredient in there,

565
00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:35,607
and it won't be love.

566
00:19:37,376 --> 00:19:38,611
Mm.

567
00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:42,382
(sighs)

568
00:19:42,414 --> 00:19:44,584
How many did you get
this time?
Two crickets.

569
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:48,555
Yes!
(sighs)

570
00:19:48,587 --> 00:19:50,323
Okay,
this makes more sense.

571
00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:52,358
Barbra would never
leave her gate wide open.

572
00:19:52,392 --> 00:19:53,859
RAY:
They're broken, okay?

573
00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:55,894
Don't make me regret
bringing you here.

574
00:19:55,927 --> 00:19:57,163
(buzzer)

575
00:19:57,195 --> 00:19:58,397
MAN: Hello?

576
00:19:58,431 --> 00:19:59,665
Is Barbra home?
It's Ray Liotta.

577
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:00,932
You know,
from "Goodfellas."

578
00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:02,501
"Something Wild."
"Field of Dreams."

579
00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:04,270
BARBRA: Oh, I know who he is.
What's up, Ray?

580
00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:05,837
Barbra,
I have some of your mail

581
00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:07,507
from when you used to live
over at Cedarhurst.

582
00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:09,241
And I have a friend here
that would like --

583
00:20:09,276 --> 00:20:11,678
Just leave the mail by the gate.
I'll send someone down.

584
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:14,446
O-Okay, but --
Oy. There's more?

585
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:16,449
Uh, Ms. Streisand, hi. My --
my name is Mitchell Pritchett,

586
00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:18,451
and I have been a fan of yours
since I can't even remember,

587
00:20:18,484 --> 00:20:20,420
and -- oh, your artistry
and integrity

588
00:20:20,452 --> 00:20:22,622
has inspired me my whole life,
and I just --

589
00:20:22,654 --> 00:20:25,625
aaaah! I can't even believe
I'm talking to you right now.

590
00:20:25,657 --> 00:20:27,759
Please. I'm just
a regular person, like you.

591
00:20:27,794 --> 00:20:30,028
I have people put on my pants
one leg at a time.

592
00:20:30,061 --> 00:20:31,763
(laughing)
that's so funny.

593
00:20:31,798 --> 00:20:33,932
Barbra,
today is his birthday!

594
00:20:33,965 --> 00:20:35,402
Well, technically,
it was three weeks ago.

595
00:20:35,434 --> 00:20:36,702
All right,
you're blowing it.
Sorry.

596
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,438
You sound very sweet,
Mitchell.

597
00:20:38,471 --> 00:20:41,374
I-I was thinking maybe as
a special treat, you could --

598
00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:43,276
I'm not singing
into my gate, Ray.

599
00:20:43,309 --> 00:20:44,777
Well, it was very nice
to talk to you.

600
00:20:44,810 --> 00:20:46,244
I did have
a quick question about --

601
00:20:46,278 --> 00:20:47,480
Goodbye.
(click)

602
00:20:47,513 --> 00:20:49,248
It's fine.

603
00:20:49,281 --> 00:20:50,549
When I tell the story,

604
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,018
it ends with her singing
"Happy Birthday."

605
00:20:57,789 --> 00:20:59,625
Oh, shoot.
It's past 3:00.

606
00:20:59,659 --> 00:21:01,794
What's wrong?
You late for dinner?
Jay.

607
00:21:01,827 --> 00:21:03,596
Honey, it's okay.
If we leave now, we --
No, no, I missed it.

608
00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:05,597
What did you miss?

609
00:21:05,632 --> 00:21:07,165
It's Fred and Ginger week
on TCM.

610
00:21:07,199 --> 00:21:09,568
They're showing "Swing Time,"
and I forgot to record it.

611
00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:12,305
Let me tell you about a little
innovation called Netflix.

612
00:21:12,338 --> 00:21:14,272
You'll never miss
another movie again.

613
00:21:14,307 --> 00:21:16,241
Really?
Hand to God.

614
00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:18,176
You pick a film
on your computer.

615
00:21:18,210 --> 00:21:20,846
Three days later,
there's a disk in your mailbox.

616
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,015
You got to stay up
with technology, Marty.

617
00:21:23,048 --> 00:21:24,616
Wow. Thanks.

618
00:21:24,651 --> 00:21:27,619
Can you believe he doesn't know
about streaming?

619
00:21:27,653 --> 00:21:30,390
If I ever get
that out of touch, kill me.