1 00:00:03,204 --> 00:00:04,504 Come on, Joe. Buff that sucker. 2 00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:05,639 What'd I teach you? (spits) 3 00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:07,174 (chuckles) Sanitary. 4 00:00:07,208 --> 00:00:09,910 Is Joe applying for a job in a train station in 1940? 5 00:00:09,942 --> 00:00:12,413 Just teaching him a few things every man should know. 6 00:00:12,445 --> 00:00:13,881 Someone has to get in there early, 7 00:00:13,913 --> 00:00:15,483 or sometimes the kid turns out funny. 8 00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,984 Knock, knock. 9 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,353 Hey, Phil. Hey, guys. 10 00:00:19,387 --> 00:00:21,088 Phil, in here! 11 00:00:21,121 --> 00:00:22,989 PHIL: You ready to tackle your website? 12 00:00:23,022 --> 00:00:24,158 I know I'm here a little early. 13 00:00:24,192 --> 00:00:25,193 I thought I was gonna be -- 14 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,361 Do you recognize that? 15 00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:29,996 Are you kidding? I love your sauce. 16 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,399 Some of it fell out of my burrito last night, 17 00:00:31,431 --> 00:00:32,600 and I licked it right off the remote. 18 00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:35,168 That's Auntie Alice's new sauce! 19 00:00:35,203 --> 00:00:37,271 She stole my recipe! 20 00:00:37,304 --> 00:00:38,771 I know. 21 00:00:38,805 --> 00:00:41,841 I am the crazy Colombian that always loses her temper 22 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:44,177 and needs to be calmed down by the white people. 23 00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:46,447 No! I don't think you're being crazy enough. 24 00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:48,848 I'm not a violent man, but I know how nuts it can make you 25 00:00:48,881 --> 00:00:51,418 to create something special only to have it stolen from you. 26 00:00:51,451 --> 00:00:55,356 Do you remember a hit song called "Happy?" 27 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,125 Yeah, it was like a couple of years ago 28 00:00:57,158 --> 00:00:58,959 with the clapping and the hat. 29 00:00:58,991 --> 00:01:00,427 A couple of years ago, huh? 30 00:01:00,460 --> 00:01:04,864 So a full four years after this burst on the scene. 31 00:01:04,897 --> 00:01:06,900 * Because I'm snappy * 32 00:01:06,933 --> 00:01:10,737 * Snap with me if you think that today is a good day * 33 00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:12,772 * That's right, I'm snappy * 34 00:01:12,805 --> 00:01:17,578 * Snap with me if you took a test and you go-o-t an A * 35 00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:19,813 * You see, I'm snappy * 36 00:01:19,847 --> 00:01:22,582 Sounds just a little similar, right? 37 00:01:22,615 --> 00:01:25,051 A little, but -- Thank you! 38 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,819 But do you think that he saw this? 39 00:01:26,853 --> 00:01:29,323 Um, it had 27 views. 40 00:01:29,356 --> 00:01:30,757 Come on. We're going down to that market 41 00:01:30,790 --> 00:01:32,091 to make that old bat cease and desist. 42 00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:33,460 I will not stand idly by 43 00:01:33,493 --> 00:01:35,662 while Auntie Alice Pharrell Williamses you. 44 00:01:35,695 --> 00:01:37,765 Where are you two going? 45 00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:38,598 To the market. 46 00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:41,067 We need olives! 47 00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:44,771 -- Captions by VITA -- 48 00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:51,679 ** 49 00:01:56,183 --> 00:01:57,418 And then when the lights go out, she'll be able to read 50 00:01:57,450 --> 00:01:58,985 the glow-in-the-dark ink on your T-shirt. 51 00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:00,188 Oh, my God. She's gonna love it. She? Who's she? 52 00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:01,355 What are you guys working on? 53 00:02:01,388 --> 00:02:02,489 Nothing. Nothing. 54 00:02:02,522 --> 00:02:03,990 Oh, okay. I get it, yeah. 55 00:02:04,024 --> 00:02:05,793 He's -- I'll just be down in the bedroom, you know, 56 00:02:05,825 --> 00:02:07,894 at the end of the -- at the end of the hall. 57 00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:10,997 Hey, thanks for your help. 58 00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:12,633 I really like this girl, 59 00:02:12,665 --> 00:02:14,668 and there's just so much pressure 60 00:02:14,701 --> 00:02:17,003 to do something spectacular when you ask a girl out to prom. 61 00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:19,272 (air hissing) Is there something wrong with your air vents? 62 00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:21,275 No, Cam breathes through his nose when he hides. 63 00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:24,110 A promposal? To who? Laurie Vock? 64 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,846 Oh, no. She's Ian Jacobs' girl. 65 00:02:25,878 --> 00:02:27,715 Melanie Rylance? You have to be careful with her. 66 00:02:27,747 --> 00:02:29,483 She has more cold sores than Abby Burmeister. 67 00:02:29,516 --> 00:02:31,050 But seriously, Luke, everything you say here 68 00:02:31,084 --> 00:02:32,652 is completely confidential. 69 00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:34,487 Oh, you know, they are looking for chaperones for prom, 70 00:02:34,521 --> 00:02:36,189 and I thought maybe we could -- 71 00:02:36,223 --> 00:02:37,824 No, we have tickets to the opening of "Cabaret" that night. 72 00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:39,393 I'm not missing it so I can tell some teenage girl 73 00:02:39,426 --> 00:02:40,661 to keep her dress on. 74 00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:42,062 I spent my own prom doing that. 75 00:02:42,094 --> 00:02:44,331 Okay, can I just point out the absurdity 76 00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:48,836 that you ask this uncle to advise you and not this uncle, 77 00:02:48,868 --> 00:02:51,838 who hung a Valentine's banner outside of his office 78 00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:53,206 that said, "Mitchell, 79 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:54,908 you're the best husband, father, and lover." 80 00:02:54,942 --> 00:02:57,144 Didn't love all three of those being rolled into one sentence. 81 00:02:57,176 --> 00:02:58,412 Sounded a little Ozark-y. 82 00:02:58,445 --> 00:03:00,146 No, Cam. Stop. What? 83 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,481 Luke's just looking for an adviser 84 00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:02,682 who's a little more understated 85 00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,084 and a little less, you know... 86 00:03:04,116 --> 00:03:06,086 David Stuart. 87 00:03:06,118 --> 00:03:07,420 Oh, I get it. 88 00:03:07,455 --> 00:03:09,356 He's quite gay. Yes, I got it. 89 00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:10,723 Okay, well, you know what? 90 00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:12,092 I would hate to muck up your promposal 91 00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:13,693 with my flair and panache. 92 00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:16,028 I'm sure the lucky girl will swoon with delight 93 00:03:16,062 --> 00:03:17,330 when you use a mustard bottle 94 00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:19,332 to write "Wanna go?" on her turkey burger. 95 00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:21,269 (cellphone rings) Hello? 96 00:03:21,301 --> 00:03:22,870 CLAIRE: There's an intruder in the house. 97 00:03:22,902 --> 00:03:24,003 What?! 98 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,573 But you have nothing to worry about 99 00:03:25,605 --> 00:03:28,376 with Pritchett's Guardian 3000 Closet, 100 00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:30,377 which doubles as a military-grade panic room. 101 00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:32,445 So no intruder? No! 102 00:03:32,479 --> 00:03:34,414 I'm just so excited about this idea. 103 00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:35,748 I'm debuting it next week at ClosetCon. 104 00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:36,917 What do you think? 105 00:03:36,949 --> 00:03:38,686 I think I'm studying for finals. 106 00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:40,587 Can't you scare the crap out of a focus group? 107 00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:42,923 (doorbell rings) Like I'm gonna share my best closet idea 108 00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:44,292 with a room full of strangers 109 00:03:44,324 --> 00:03:46,426 four days before the most hotly anticipated 110 00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:48,127 storage convention in North America. 111 00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:51,131 Good point. You do have Haley's number, right? 112 00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:55,936 * Ooh, do-do-do-do, do-do-do * From the first time that I saw your face * 113 00:03:55,968 --> 00:03:59,272 * Ooh, do-do-do, do-do-do, ay-ee-ay * * I knew you could mine 114 00:03:59,307 --> 00:04:01,040 * Ahh 115 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:04,243 Alex Dunphy, would you make me the happiest cat in school 116 00:04:04,277 --> 00:04:05,545 and swing by prom with me? 117 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,281 Sha-Na-nope. 118 00:04:09,849 --> 00:04:11,618 (computer beeps) Hey, Jerry. 119 00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:15,155 For some reason, I'm locked out of my computer. 120 00:04:15,187 --> 00:04:16,423 Apparently, someone tried 121 00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:18,925 to access my e-mail before I got in. 122 00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:20,394 (sighs) 123 00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:24,497 Someone hell-bent on leaking company secrets. 124 00:04:24,531 --> 00:04:28,935 It is four days until C-Con, and Pritchett's Closets has a mole. 125 00:04:28,968 --> 00:04:31,137 No one is above suspicion. 126 00:04:31,170 --> 00:04:36,644 Margaret, where were you this morning at 9:45 a.m.? 127 00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:38,411 MARGARET: I'm so sorry I was late. 128 00:04:38,446 --> 00:04:40,112 I was at Overeaters Anonymous. 129 00:04:40,146 --> 00:04:42,682 I woke up next to the ice cream again. 130 00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:44,451 So not Margaret. 131 00:04:51,524 --> 00:04:54,528 I know who that locker belongs to. 132 00:04:54,562 --> 00:04:57,865 I can't believe you're asking that cheap Ho to the prom. 133 00:04:57,898 --> 00:05:00,033 Cam! Sarah Ho! 134 00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:02,702 She gave me a $5 gift card for Teacher Appreciation Day. 135 00:05:02,735 --> 00:05:04,771 (birds cooing) What's with the birds? 136 00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,339 Oh, these are just some turtledoves 137 00:05:06,374 --> 00:05:08,274 for Manny's promposal. 138 00:05:08,307 --> 00:05:09,610 You're joking. 139 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,545 You felt so slighted over Luke asking me 140 00:05:11,579 --> 00:05:13,312 that you foisted yourself on Manny? 141 00:05:13,346 --> 00:05:15,615 There was no foisting. 142 00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,216 I asked Manny if he needed help. 143 00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:20,019 He was too proud to admit that he did, so here we are. 144 00:05:20,052 --> 00:05:21,954 Is it possible there's something deeper going on with you 145 00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:23,322 around this whole prom area? 146 00:05:23,356 --> 00:05:25,292 Is it possible you're second-guessing 147 00:05:25,324 --> 00:05:26,959 your no-frills approach? 148 00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:29,161 Especially compared to turtledoves, backup dancers, 149 00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:32,365 and dry ice so Manny can appear in a cloud of mist. 150 00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:33,667 A cloud of mist? 151 00:05:33,701 --> 00:05:35,067 Like in a movie? 152 00:05:35,101 --> 00:05:37,204 Is our thing gonna seem lame now? 153 00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:38,505 Steady. 154 00:05:38,538 --> 00:05:40,473 Now, now. I'm sure your thing is fine. 155 00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,375 What did your little locker note say? 156 00:05:42,409 --> 00:05:43,644 "Go to the gym." 157 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:44,877 Intriguing. 158 00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:46,413 What delights await her in the gym? 159 00:05:46,447 --> 00:05:48,716 Another note telling her to go to the parking lot. 160 00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:51,851 Well, I should help Manny set up. 161 00:05:51,884 --> 00:05:53,019 Should I be worried? 162 00:05:53,052 --> 00:05:54,654 Don't freak me out right now, okay? 163 00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:56,889 Okay. All right. It's fine. Just fine. 164 00:05:56,923 --> 00:05:59,959 You don't have to use it, but at least you'll have it. 165 00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:04,363 Hello, Auntie Alice. 166 00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:07,100 Or should she say Auntie Malice? 167 00:06:07,134 --> 00:06:09,502 No, Gloria's right. It's Alice. 168 00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,838 I didn't know you were in today. 169 00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,440 You're in -- trouble! 170 00:06:13,473 --> 00:06:15,074 Is he okay? 171 00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:17,076 You stole my sauce! What? 172 00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:20,213 Uh, I'm sorry. Maybe you don't hear so good. 173 00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:24,117 She said, "You...stole... 174 00:06:24,151 --> 00:06:26,420 her...sauce." 175 00:06:28,788 --> 00:06:29,923 Wow. 176 00:06:29,956 --> 00:06:31,290 That's spicy. 177 00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:32,793 That's not the sauce she stole. 178 00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:34,562 That's her Volcano sauce. 179 00:06:34,595 --> 00:06:36,295 In her ad, one drop 180 00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:39,600 turns a hockey rink into a swimming pool. 181 00:06:39,632 --> 00:06:43,471 It's her new sauce, the one that tastes just like mine. 182 00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:45,605 How are you going to explain that? 183 00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:47,574 Yeah, we want answers and a little bread. 184 00:06:47,608 --> 00:06:51,244 Your fight's not with me. 185 00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:53,814 I'm not really Auntie Alice. 186 00:06:53,846 --> 00:06:55,749 Oh, come on. 187 00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:58,117 Your cute face is in the bottle! 188 00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:02,956 Auntie Alice is a brand that was created by a big corporation. 189 00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:05,158 So they were the ones who stole my sauce? 190 00:07:05,192 --> 00:07:07,461 They steal all kinds of products. 191 00:07:07,495 --> 00:07:09,896 And they have an army of lawyers 192 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:12,733 just ready to crush anyone who challenges them. 193 00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:13,934 So we just have to take it? 194 00:07:13,966 --> 00:07:15,168 Ow! 195 00:07:15,201 --> 00:07:17,303 It's in my eye! Oh! 196 00:07:17,336 --> 00:07:21,240 Please don't repeat any of this, or I could lose my job. 197 00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:24,310 I'm still paying off my improv classes. 198 00:07:24,343 --> 00:07:26,779 How is this food?! 199 00:07:26,814 --> 00:07:28,848 This will probably be yours someday, 200 00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:30,684 so no reason you shouldn't learn to do this. 201 00:07:30,718 --> 00:07:32,519 Does Manny know how to change oil? 202 00:07:32,552 --> 00:07:33,987 Bath oils. What? 203 00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:35,122 Bath oil? 204 00:07:35,154 --> 00:07:36,288 There's my guy. 205 00:07:36,322 --> 00:07:37,591 Let me grab the dipstick. 206 00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:38,826 This stick? 207 00:07:38,858 --> 00:07:41,161 Ow! 208 00:07:43,663 --> 00:07:45,766 Manny. Okay. I just briefed the team. 209 00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:47,968 Dry ice is ready. Bow ties are on the birds. 210 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,336 Save it, Cam. 211 00:07:49,369 --> 00:07:50,637 Megan already said yes to Shawn Reeves. 212 00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:51,971 He asked her last period. 213 00:07:52,004 --> 00:07:53,305 Oh, I'm so sorry, Manny. 214 00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:54,774 Can't really blame her. 215 00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:56,543 I mean, you try saying no to Shawn Reeves 216 00:07:56,576 --> 00:07:58,879 with his weatherman smile and his exotic Canadian accent. 217 00:07:58,911 --> 00:08:01,014 Well, there must be someone else you can ask. 218 00:08:01,048 --> 00:08:03,449 No, that's okay. There's always next year. 219 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,451 At least this way I can see the opening of "Cabaret." 220 00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,353 Oh, please. It's just "Cabaret." 221 00:08:07,387 --> 00:08:09,488 It's been revived more times than Dick Cheney. 222 00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:11,959 Okay. You're not missing your prom. 223 00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:13,661 Cam... I'm getting the feeling 224 00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:15,896 this is much more important to you than it is to me. 225 00:08:15,928 --> 00:08:18,497 Well, maybe because I didn't get to go to mine. 226 00:08:18,531 --> 00:08:19,966 Oh. I'm sorry. 227 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,535 Yeah, it's a painful story. (chuckles) 228 00:08:21,569 --> 00:08:23,470 I get it. Some things are better left unsaid. 229 00:08:23,502 --> 00:08:24,971 Her name was Tina Day. 230 00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:27,374 We were just friends, but I was so into asking her, 231 00:08:27,406 --> 00:08:30,177 I rented a white stallion and a suit of armor. 232 00:08:30,209 --> 00:08:32,511 I wanted it to be a whole "knight and Day" theme. 233 00:08:32,546 --> 00:08:33,913 (chuckles) Hm. 234 00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:36,082 I was promposing before it was even a thing. 235 00:08:36,115 --> 00:08:37,750 I rode up her driveway, 236 00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:39,919 and I could see when she opened the door 237 00:08:39,952 --> 00:08:41,989 through the little slits in my helmet 238 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,222 what her answer was gonna be. 239 00:08:43,255 --> 00:08:45,024 She wanted a traditional prom night 240 00:08:45,057 --> 00:08:48,260 with a guy she could lose her virginity to. 241 00:08:48,294 --> 00:08:50,831 I couldn't blame her. 242 00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,832 I wanted the same thing. 243 00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:54,234 (chuckles) (sighs) 244 00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:55,769 There's always Melanie Rylance, 245 00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:57,236 but you wouldn't want me to ask someone -- 246 00:08:57,269 --> 00:08:59,139 Delta, ready the dancers and dove cannon. 247 00:09:00,539 --> 00:09:02,009 Poor lady. 248 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:04,277 I feel terrible for screaming at her like that. 249 00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:05,278 I blame myself. 250 00:09:05,312 --> 00:09:07,214 I blame yourself, too. 251 00:09:07,246 --> 00:09:08,514 I'm sorry. 252 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,951 I'm just kind of going through something. 253 00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:13,452 I got bumped from Lily's career day this morning 254 00:09:13,485 --> 00:09:15,254 by a periodontist. 255 00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:18,091 That's right -- My job is less interesting that root rot. 256 00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:20,259 Who cares about a bunch of third graders? 257 00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:22,929 You love being a real-estate agent. 258 00:09:22,962 --> 00:09:25,131 First of all, I'm not just a real-estate agent. 259 00:09:25,164 --> 00:09:26,866 I'm a Realtor. 260 00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:29,903 I'm a member of a national association, a brotherhood, 261 00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:31,804 sworn to the Realtor Code of Ethics! 262 00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:34,240 That's what this "R" stands for. 263 00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:36,308 Though, lately, it feels like it stands for "regret." 264 00:09:36,342 --> 00:09:38,778 I know everything there is to know about real estate, 265 00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:40,246 and nobody seems to care. 266 00:09:40,279 --> 00:09:41,649 Maybe I have the most boring job in the world. 267 00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:42,982 No, Phil. 268 00:09:43,015 --> 00:09:46,286 Closets is the most boring job in the world. 269 00:09:46,318 --> 00:09:47,654 (gasps) 270 00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:49,389 Ay, poor thing. 271 00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,457 She has to take the bus. 272 00:09:51,490 --> 00:09:52,759 Let's offer her a ride. 273 00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:53,894 Yes, yes. 274 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,461 (car alarm chirps) 275 00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:00,668 A Maserati? 276 00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:02,769 She lied to us! 277 00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:04,804 (engine revs) 278 00:10:04,837 --> 00:10:07,307 iSeguila! iSeguila! 279 00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:08,676 No, that means "follow her." 280 00:10:08,708 --> 00:10:10,110 Oh. 281 00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:17,250 (cellphone rings) 282 00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:18,985 Hello? ALEX: Hey, Mom. 283 00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:20,586 How do you turn on the sprinklers for the front lawn? 284 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:24,490 Uh, it's a little control box by the front door. 285 00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:25,958 Why? No reason. 286 00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:27,760 Look, now that I've got you on the phone, 287 00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:30,629 I'm thinking it might be time to upgrade our Internet security. 288 00:10:30,663 --> 00:10:31,965 Thoughts? 289 00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:33,332 Get rid of the Post-it note on your laptop 290 00:10:33,365 --> 00:10:34,634 with your password on it. 291 00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:37,671 Why are you so worried about security? 292 00:10:37,705 --> 00:10:39,639 It's my first ClosetCon as C.E.O., 293 00:10:39,673 --> 00:10:42,442 and I am dealing with corporate espionage. 294 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:43,943 Well, if you're so worried about it, 295 00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:45,177 why don't you just call Grandpa? 296 00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:46,980 Do you know how that would look? 297 00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:48,480 I mean, it's bad enough to go to the person 298 00:10:48,514 --> 00:10:50,049 who had your job before you, 299 00:10:50,082 --> 00:10:52,184 but when that person is Daddy... 300 00:10:52,219 --> 00:10:55,889 Honey, closet people are ruthless. 301 00:10:55,923 --> 00:10:57,857 They'd eat me alive. 302 00:10:57,890 --> 00:11:00,527 Or maybe the world isn't filled with heartless monsters. 303 00:11:00,559 --> 00:11:01,561 (knock on door) 304 00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:04,831 Hi. My phone is wet. 305 00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:06,166 Can you call my mom? 306 00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:08,668 Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late. 307 00:11:08,701 --> 00:11:10,136 I just got off the horn 308 00:11:10,169 --> 00:11:12,239 with Rick Friedman over at Shelf Involved. 309 00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:13,974 That poor guy. 310 00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:18,010 Someone there has given away corporate secrets. (scoffs) 311 00:11:18,044 --> 00:11:19,578 Makes me so glad 312 00:11:19,611 --> 00:11:22,514 that we just upgraded our whole security system. 313 00:11:22,548 --> 00:11:25,585 I mean, we got hidden cameras around this place 314 00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:27,855 that I don't even know about. (chuckles) 315 00:11:29,621 --> 00:11:32,759 So, we got a cake for Margaret's birthday. 316 00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:34,226 Mm-hmm. 317 00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:35,828 Fun. 318 00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:37,730 How you doing, Ben? (gulps) 319 00:11:37,764 --> 00:11:39,032 (chuckles nervously) Me? 320 00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:40,167 I'm good. I am good. 321 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,368 I am chill. 322 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:43,036 I'm gonna go to the bathroom, so... 323 00:11:44,937 --> 00:11:46,538 It's not really my birthday. 324 00:11:46,572 --> 00:11:48,707 I just wanted cake. 325 00:11:48,741 --> 00:11:51,278 I eat garbage because I am garbage. 326 00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:54,014 (cellphone rings) 327 00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,682 Hey, Dad. Hi. 328 00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,384 Um, listen. Can I call you back? 329 00:11:57,417 --> 00:11:58,918 JAY: Just wanted to confirm we're on for dinner at -- 330 00:11:58,951 --> 00:12:01,020 Oh, got another call. One sec. 331 00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:03,456 Yeah, I think she's onto us. 332 00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:05,859 Yeah, a lot of mole talk. 333 00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:08,061 I think we just need to calm things d-- 334 00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:09,296 What? 335 00:12:09,328 --> 00:12:11,130 You're talking to her right now? 336 00:12:11,163 --> 00:12:13,365 Yeah, okay, bye. 337 00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:14,701 So, we're on for tonight? 338 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,068 Sure. Great. 339 00:12:16,102 --> 00:12:17,570 And, hey, you sound a little tense. 340 00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:19,639 Don't let the job make you crazy, huh? 341 00:12:19,672 --> 00:12:22,475 You go that route, soon you're seeing plots everywhere. 342 00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:23,610 Great tip, Dad. 343 00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:24,812 Aah! 344 00:12:24,845 --> 00:12:25,946 You're spying for my dad! 345 00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:27,647 What? No! Yes. I'm sorry. 346 00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:28,881 I don't know why I agreed. 347 00:12:28,916 --> 00:12:30,549 I just look up to your dad so much. 348 00:12:30,582 --> 00:12:32,251 I can't believe he doesn't trust me. 349 00:12:32,284 --> 00:12:33,886 Why did he put me in charge, then? 350 00:12:33,921 --> 00:12:35,087 I don't know, but I can find out. 351 00:12:35,121 --> 00:12:36,588 I'll double-agent. 352 00:12:36,623 --> 00:12:38,225 I've been working this game since my parents' divorce. 353 00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:39,927 I was the only 10-year-old in Great Neck 354 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,661 with no bedtime and Diners Club card. 355 00:12:41,693 --> 00:12:43,596 Fine. Don't make any plans for tonight. 356 00:12:43,629 --> 00:12:45,131 You're coming to dinner with me. All right. 357 00:12:45,164 --> 00:12:47,399 Um, can we stop by my house to change my shoes? 358 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:49,601 I didn't make it up here on the first try. 359 00:12:49,635 --> 00:12:50,870 (scoffs) 360 00:12:56,976 --> 00:12:58,644 All right, the dove cannon's loaded, 361 00:12:58,677 --> 00:13:00,246 the dancers are stretching, the dry ice is billowing. 362 00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:01,114 The moment you get her outside, I will cue the team. 363 00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:02,282 Oh, there she is. 364 00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:03,951 Okay. Go. 365 00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:05,018 All right, team. Look alive. 366 00:13:05,052 --> 00:13:06,318 We are hot. We are hot. 367 00:13:06,352 --> 00:13:07,955 Hey, Melanie. Listen -- Manny. 368 00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:09,155 Do you want to go to prom with me? 369 00:13:09,188 --> 00:13:10,857 Uh, sure. 370 00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:12,325 (chuckles) 371 00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:14,260 Oh, hey. 372 00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:15,294 You got a second? 373 00:13:15,327 --> 00:13:16,596 Yeah. 374 00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:17,831 Yeah, I'm second. You're first. 375 00:13:17,865 --> 00:13:19,365 I get it. You win everything. 376 00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:21,033 That seems like something I'm gonna hear about later. 377 00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:22,970 I need help with Luke's promposal, okay? 378 00:13:23,003 --> 00:13:25,504 Can you go to the gym, wait for Sarah, and then hand her this? 379 00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:27,606 Okay, this is what I've been reduced to? Yeah. 380 00:13:27,639 --> 00:13:30,442 Delivering an [sniffs] unperfumed envelope like a common bellhop? 381 00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:32,345 Fine. Thank you. Okay. 382 00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:34,780 Stand down, everybody. 383 00:13:34,813 --> 00:13:37,116 Little Bear's gone rogue. 384 00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:39,786 Wait. 385 00:13:39,818 --> 00:13:41,321 Grayson! Hey. (laughs) 386 00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:42,889 Hey, Coach. Hey. 387 00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:45,725 Don't suppose you're planning on asking anyone to prom. 388 00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:48,461 Um, I don't think we're allowed to go with teachers. 389 00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:50,363 That's not what... 390 00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:53,332 So, this is the house that stolen sauce built. (doorbell rings) 391 00:13:53,365 --> 00:13:56,336 I'm so angry that I don't even know what I'm gonna say to her! 392 00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:58,138 Ah, so, this is the house 393 00:13:58,171 --> 00:13:59,672 that the stolen sauce built! 394 00:13:59,706 --> 00:14:03,009 Oh, I know what you're thinking, but this isn't my house. 395 00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:05,511 I just come here to get my paycheck. 396 00:14:05,544 --> 00:14:06,846 Grandma, my shower's broken. 397 00:14:06,879 --> 00:14:08,315 I'm gonna use the one in the guesthouse. 398 00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:09,581 Whoa. 399 00:14:09,615 --> 00:14:11,018 Please be my new piano teacher. 400 00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:14,153 (sighs) Fine. 401 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:15,554 I'm Auntie Alice. 402 00:14:15,587 --> 00:14:17,557 Auntie Thief and Auntie Liar. 403 00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:18,825 Yeah, yeah. 404 00:14:18,857 --> 00:14:21,161 I'm sure we can work something out. 405 00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:22,828 Who's your patent lawyer? 406 00:14:22,861 --> 00:14:23,730 I don't have one. 407 00:14:23,763 --> 00:14:25,197 I know. 408 00:14:25,231 --> 00:14:27,900 I patented your sauce this morning. 409 00:14:27,934 --> 00:14:31,571 Have a good trip home, kids. 410 00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:34,673 I am so sorry, Phil, that I wasted your whole day, 411 00:14:34,706 --> 00:14:37,210 but I am more sorry of what I'm gonna do to your car! 412 00:14:37,244 --> 00:14:38,946 Gloria, we're above that. 413 00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:40,413 But not everyone would be. 414 00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:42,414 You should put that beauty in your garage. 415 00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:44,783 I don't have one. Oh, really? 416 00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:47,254 Just out of curiosity, do you not have a garage 417 00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:49,022 because you converted it into the guesthouse 418 00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:50,856 where your grandson's currently showering? 419 00:14:50,889 --> 00:14:52,259 What's your game, mister? 420 00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:53,961 I just find it interesting that you have 421 00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:56,395 a fully plumbed stand-alone dwelling on your property. 422 00:14:56,428 --> 00:14:58,030 That's none of your business. 423 00:14:58,065 --> 00:15:00,399 Even more peculiar, your grandson appears to live here, 424 00:15:00,432 --> 00:15:03,937 but judging by his T-shirt, he goes to Eden Mills High, 425 00:15:03,971 --> 00:15:06,438 an elite public school 12 miles outside of your district. 426 00:15:06,472 --> 00:15:08,942 Oh, maybe with the money you saved on private schools, 427 00:15:08,975 --> 00:15:11,378 you paid for the new two-sided brick fireplace I saw, 428 00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:13,080 which hasn't been legal since 1988. 429 00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:14,114 Go, Phil, go! 430 00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:15,914 Pull the sauce, Big Al, 431 00:15:15,948 --> 00:15:19,485 or Monday morning, the city's here with a bulldozer, 432 00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:22,288 and your grandson goes to a school with a metal detector. 433 00:15:22,322 --> 00:15:24,323 How do you know all this? 434 00:15:24,356 --> 00:15:26,960 What are you -- some kind of real-estate agent? 435 00:15:26,994 --> 00:15:29,328 No. He's a Realtor. 436 00:15:29,361 --> 00:15:31,764 There is a difference somehow! 437 00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:35,134 (doors open) 438 00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:36,403 Oh, hey, kids. 439 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,105 Actually, I'm waiting for Sarah, 440 00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:40,307 so if I could have the room for just a -- a minute. 441 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:42,075 Thank -- Okay, funny. 442 00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:44,610 Whoever turned out the lights, please turn them back on. 443 00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:46,745 They're not working. Might be a fuse. 444 00:15:46,778 --> 00:15:47,779 (cellphone rings) 445 00:15:47,813 --> 00:15:48,947 Oh, um... 446 00:15:48,981 --> 00:15:50,283 Mitchell, we have a problem. 447 00:15:50,317 --> 00:15:52,085 MITCHELL: No, we don't. 448 00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:55,955 I mean, unless you're busy that night. 449 00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:58,290 Are -- Are you asking me to prom? 450 00:15:58,325 --> 00:16:00,927 Well, you know, they need chaperones. 451 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,861 Mitchell, this is the sweetest thing you've ever done for me. 452 00:16:02,894 --> 00:16:04,797 I-I don't know if I've mentioned it, 453 00:16:04,831 --> 00:16:06,466 but I never got to go to my own prom. 454 00:16:06,499 --> 00:16:08,434 It's come up. 455 00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:10,003 What about Luke's promposal? 456 00:16:10,037 --> 00:16:12,105 Well, your husband, who couldn't plan anything romantic 457 00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:13,505 with a gun to his head, 458 00:16:13,539 --> 00:16:16,176 may have pulled off two promposals at once. 459 00:16:16,208 --> 00:16:18,010 Mm-hmm. Hey. 460 00:16:18,044 --> 00:16:20,346 Do you have any idea who put that note in my locker 461 00:16:20,379 --> 00:16:21,780 asking me to be a part of this thing? 462 00:16:21,813 --> 00:16:23,783 Oh, yeah, it was my uncle. 463 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,653 It's pretty clever how he turned out the lights. 464 00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:30,222 I said, "Turned out the lights"! 465 00:16:31,857 --> 00:16:34,293 Oh, my God! Yes! 466 00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:37,163 Oh! That's so sweet. I... 467 00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:39,165 And I can't believe I'm finally going to prom. 468 00:16:39,198 --> 00:16:40,832 I can't believe I finally have a happy memory 469 00:16:40,866 --> 00:16:42,568 in a high-school gym. (laughs) 470 00:16:42,601 --> 00:16:44,203 CLAIRE: Joe did that to you? JAY: Yeah. 471 00:16:44,236 --> 00:16:46,038 Slammed a car hood on it. Why? 472 00:16:46,072 --> 00:16:47,407 I owed him money. 473 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,509 It slipped while I was teaching him to check oil. 474 00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:51,577 Well, that's pretty advanced for a 3-year-old. 475 00:16:51,610 --> 00:16:53,212 What can I say? I believe in my kids. 476 00:16:53,245 --> 00:16:55,748 Thank you. Mmm. Mm. 477 00:16:55,782 --> 00:16:58,184 Looks good. Thank you. Mm-hmm. 478 00:16:58,217 --> 00:17:00,653 Very nice. 479 00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,322 Let's quickly go over the plan. 480 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:03,990 My dad's gonna be here any minute. Mm-hmm. 481 00:17:04,022 --> 00:17:05,491 We're doing this in stages. 482 00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:08,027 One finger means you text him 483 00:17:08,060 --> 00:17:09,528 "We're closing the blinds division." 484 00:17:09,561 --> 00:17:11,097 Our biggest earner? 485 00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:12,832 He's gonna lose it if I tell him we're shuttering blinds. 486 00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:16,502 Two fingers, we're partnering with Rod Bushmill. 487 00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,904 That sleazebag represents everything your father 488 00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:21,240 spent an entire career fighting against. 489 00:17:21,273 --> 00:17:24,876 Three fingers, we're not going to ClosetCon. Wha-- 490 00:17:24,911 --> 00:17:27,380 Are you trying to teach your father a lesson or crush his soul? 491 00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:29,516 Just business, kid. 492 00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:31,351 Monster. 493 00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:33,552 Looks good. Thank you. Mm-hmm. 494 00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:35,755 (cellphone vibrates) (sighs) 495 00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:38,625 So...with all this prom stuff coming up, 496 00:17:38,657 --> 00:17:40,359 is your house as topsy-turvy as ours is? 497 00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:42,028 Not really. Manny's taking this girl. 498 00:17:42,060 --> 00:17:43,695 She's nothing special, but solid. 499 00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:44,797 Mm. Reliable. 500 00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:46,266 A lot like our blinds division. 501 00:17:46,298 --> 00:17:47,299 You know -- not sexy, but -- 502 00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:48,867 No, Dad. No shop talk. 503 00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:51,002 You've had enough of that for a lifetime. 504 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,308 (cellphone vibrates) Wow, your phone is really blowing up tonight. 505 00:17:56,343 --> 00:17:57,576 Mm. 506 00:17:57,609 --> 00:17:58,644 Two old-fashioneds. 507 00:17:58,677 --> 00:17:59,711 Thank you. Oh, thank you. 508 00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,248 Okay. Here. 509 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,583 You know what else seems old-fashioned to me nowadays? 510 00:18:03,615 --> 00:18:05,785 Mm? Integrity. 511 00:18:05,817 --> 00:18:07,819 Maybe because I spent my career 512 00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:09,489 fighting the sleazeballs in our industry. 513 00:18:09,521 --> 00:18:11,057 You know -- the Rod Bushmill types. 514 00:18:11,089 --> 00:18:12,224 Rod's a sweetheart. 515 00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:13,726 He bought me lunch last week. 516 00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:15,162 We got to talking about whether or not we -- 517 00:18:15,194 --> 00:18:17,396 (scoffs) What am I doing? 518 00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:18,964 Jibber-jabbering about work. Mm. 519 00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:23,435 So, that little grease monkey Joe is 3. 520 00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:25,738 Hard to believe. 3. 521 00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:30,442 They grow up so fast. (cellphone vibrates) 522 00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:31,943 Got to be nice, though, Dad, 523 00:18:31,978 --> 00:18:34,012 knowing that your company is in good hands 524 00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:35,781 and you can stay home all day long and just play with your kid. 525 00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:37,115 Have you lost your mind? 526 00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:38,750 Well, not all day, obviously. 527 00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,420 3-year-olds are nothing but bipolar germ buckets. 528 00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:41,854 You're skipping out on ClosetCon? 529 00:18:41,887 --> 00:18:43,323 Who told you that? Ben. 530 00:18:43,355 --> 00:18:44,856 That little weasel told me everything. 531 00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:46,858 Listen, I can tolerate shutting down the blinds, 532 00:18:46,893 --> 00:18:49,662 even Rod Bushmill, but not showing up for ClosetCon, 533 00:18:49,695 --> 00:18:51,263 you're asking not to be taken seriously. 534 00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:52,999 My God, Claire! 535 00:18:53,031 --> 00:18:55,934 We're one strong season away from being invited 536 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:58,505 to Expo Internationale du Closets! 537 00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:00,307 (sighs) 538 00:19:00,339 --> 00:19:01,540 Why are you looking at me like that? 539 00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:03,442 'Cause I'm not doing any of those things. 540 00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:06,378 I told that little weasel Ben to text you those things 541 00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:09,281 when I found out that he was spying for you. 542 00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:11,951 And, by the way, it doesn't feel very nice 543 00:19:11,983 --> 00:19:14,153 to know that you don't think that I can run your company. 544 00:19:14,186 --> 00:19:15,555 That's not why I did it. 545 00:19:15,587 --> 00:19:17,557 I thought maybe you could use a little support. 546 00:19:17,589 --> 00:19:20,826 You're staring down the barrel of your first ClosetCon. 547 00:19:20,859 --> 00:19:22,194 So you spied on me? 548 00:19:22,229 --> 00:19:23,630 I mean, you could have given me a call. 549 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,332 And tell you that you're not doing your job? 550 00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:27,200 That would have gone over fine with you. 551 00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:32,739 Need any help? 552 00:19:32,771 --> 00:19:33,740 No! No. 553 00:19:35,241 --> 00:19:36,343 I mean, look at us. 554 00:19:36,375 --> 00:19:37,809 Why can't we both admit 555 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,546 that we could use each other's help right now? 556 00:19:39,578 --> 00:19:41,713 Are we too proud to even do that? 557 00:19:41,748 --> 00:19:42,815 I'll admit it if you will. 558 00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:44,983 Fine. On 3. 559 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:46,586 1...2...3. 560 00:19:46,618 --> 00:19:48,355 Will you crack my lobster? I want to come back to work. 561 00:19:48,387 --> 00:19:49,822 What?! Damn it! 562 00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:51,156 Oh, my God. You want to come back to work? 563 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,825 I miss it, okay? 564 00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:54,727 You know how it is when you have closets in your blood. 565 00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:56,929 I'm going crazy in retirement. 566 00:19:57,963 --> 00:19:59,164 Why are you smiling at me like that? 567 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,767 Because we're so similar. 568 00:20:00,799 --> 00:20:02,368 Do you know how many times I've wanted to call you 569 00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:04,002 to ask for your help or advice, 570 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:06,105 but I was afraid I would look weak? 571 00:20:06,137 --> 00:20:07,740 (sighs) 572 00:20:07,773 --> 00:20:09,241 Here. You crack this. 573 00:20:09,276 --> 00:20:11,844 Give me that. I'll open these things. 574 00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:16,015 Well, Dad, what do you think about coming back to work -- 575 00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,084 I don't know -- one or two days a week? 576 00:20:18,116 --> 00:20:21,119 What I was thinking was, I'd have a staff of five. Mm-hmm. 577 00:20:21,153 --> 00:20:22,855 My own building. What? 578 00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,691 And I report to no one. 579 00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:26,192 (chuckles) I'm kidding. 580 00:20:26,224 --> 00:20:28,227 I'll put a desk in the copy room. 581 00:20:28,260 --> 00:20:31,397 And, by the way, I've known you for a long time. 582 00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:34,300 The last thing you need to worry about is looking weak. 583 00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:37,403 ** 584 00:20:37,436 --> 00:20:39,705 MITCHELL: It's not always easy to ask for what you want, 585 00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:41,574 whether it's a little romance... 586 00:20:41,607 --> 00:20:43,476 or a little help... 587 00:20:45,677 --> 00:20:47,646 ...or a little respect. 588 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,817 So, I admire you for asking -- I don't. 589 00:20:50,849 --> 00:20:52,618 We both know why they're asking. 590 00:20:52,652 --> 00:20:55,755 No, you may not use our upstairs apartment for an after party. 591 00:20:55,788 --> 00:20:56,888 -(groans) -Oh. 592 00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:57,957 Lame. 593 00:20:58,490 --> 00:20:59,558 You look ravishing, my sweet. 594 00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:00,992 We said no talking. 595 00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:08,099 Come on. Come on. I'm thirsty. 596 00:21:08,134 --> 00:21:09,336 I'll tell you when you're thirsty. 597 00:21:09,368 --> 00:21:10,603 Come on. Let me feel that power. 598 00:21:10,636 --> 00:21:11,971 Come on. Make that leather sing! 599 00:21:12,003 --> 00:21:13,271 All right. Come on. Get on your bike. 600 00:21:13,306 --> 00:21:14,641 Back up. Get on your bike. Come on. 601 00:21:14,673 --> 00:21:15,775 They can't hit you if they can't reach you. 602 00:21:15,807 --> 00:21:17,276 My pants are falling. 603 00:21:17,309 --> 00:21:18,577 Well, pull 'em up. 604 00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:19,746 Pull 'em up high to your nipples. 605 00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:21,079 That prevents a low blow. 606 00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:22,315 What's a low blow? 607 00:21:22,348 --> 00:21:23,816 Fantastic. 608 00:21:23,849 --> 00:21:25,984 I have to emcee a poetry retrospective tomorrow, 609 00:21:26,018 --> 00:21:27,787 and this shawl collar's got more wrinkles 610 00:21:27,819 --> 00:21:29,588 than last night's "Downton Abbey." 611 00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:31,057 That is.