1 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:04,372 Do we really have to leave? 2 00:00:04,405 --> 00:00:06,040 Yeah, can't we just stay a couple more days? 3 00:00:06,074 --> 00:00:07,308 I know -- it's killing me. 4 00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:08,876 Tomorrow's open-mic night at the Apollo. 5 00:00:08,909 --> 00:00:11,312 Look, we'll all come back. I love it here, too. 6 00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:13,047 Compared to New Yorkers, I'm laid-back. 7 00:00:13,081 --> 00:00:14,748 Now, come on. 8 00:00:14,782 --> 00:00:16,384 Get upstairs and pack, or else you might miss your flight. 9 00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:17,651 Mwah! 10 00:00:17,685 --> 00:00:19,753 After a great week in New York, 11 00:00:19,787 --> 00:00:22,523 I had to get to Raleigh for the Carolina Closet Caucus. 12 00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:23,724 Phil and I have always wanted 13 00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:25,226 to drive across the country together, 14 00:00:25,259 --> 00:00:26,527 so we thought we'd make a road trip of it. 15 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:27,528 Bye! Bye, guys! 16 00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:28,696 Bye! Bye! Bye! 17 00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:30,731 We'll miss you! 18 00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:32,366 Okay, here's the deal -- We're staying another night. 19 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:33,334 What? 20 00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,035 You heard mom and dad. They said no. 21 00:00:35,069 --> 00:00:37,271 Well, we'll still get home before them. They'll never know. 22 00:00:37,305 --> 00:00:39,207 Oh, come on. Andy and I just broke up. 23 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:41,041 I'm not ready to go back and face life. 24 00:00:41,075 --> 00:00:43,211 Come on, how would we even pay for the hotel? 25 00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:45,045 We can use Luke's carnival settlement money. 26 00:00:45,079 --> 00:00:47,081 No way! I earned that. 27 00:00:47,115 --> 00:00:48,382 I'm the one who fell off that ride. 28 00:00:48,416 --> 00:00:49,950 We were the ones who really suffered. 29 00:00:49,983 --> 00:00:51,852 We couldn't turn on lights or make loud noises 30 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,387 until your head got small again. 31 00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:56,056 We can't use that money. It's for college. 32 00:00:59,993 --> 00:01:02,130 Okay, okay, let's spend it. 33 00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:06,300 Oh, look -- that sushi restaurant we never made it to. 34 00:01:06,334 --> 00:01:07,468 Oh, yeah. We tried. 35 00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:09,270 They just never had a table for five. 36 00:01:09,303 --> 00:01:10,771 Mnh-mnh. Hm. 37 00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:12,373 We had a lot of fun, though, didn't we? 38 00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:13,974 Yes, we did. Yeah. 39 00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:15,909 Never got to get on one of those horse-drawn carriages 40 00:01:15,943 --> 00:01:16,744 through the park. 41 00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:18,446 Alex's allergies. 42 00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:20,981 Didn't know you could be allergic to carriage leather. 43 00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:23,617 Still, just so much good family time. 44 00:01:23,651 --> 00:01:25,085 Family time. 45 00:01:27,155 --> 00:01:28,389 Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 46 00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:29,357 You could blow off the convention. 47 00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:31,259 We could stay here for a romantic few days 48 00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:32,626 but never tell the kids because we just made them go home? 49 00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:33,827 Yes! 50 00:01:33,861 --> 00:01:34,962 That is the first time you've ever 51 00:01:34,995 --> 00:01:36,597 answered that question right. 52 00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:38,098 Not today! 53 00:01:38,132 --> 00:01:41,335 -- Captions by VITAC -- 54 00:01:41,369 --> 00:01:44,338 Captioning Provided by 20th Century Fox Television and ABC, Inc. 55 00:01:44,372 --> 00:01:47,107 and brought to you by Ford. We go further, so you can. 56 00:01:47,141 --> 00:01:49,310 ** 57 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,949 Oh! Cam, it is so beautiful outside. 58 00:01:55,983 --> 00:01:57,451 You got to -- 59 00:01:57,485 --> 00:01:59,353 Ohhhh...right. 60 00:01:59,387 --> 00:02:01,622 We decided to spend the summer in Missouri. 61 00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:05,859 But we arrived to find Cam's grandma on her deathbed. 62 00:02:05,893 --> 00:02:08,128 Right where we left her at Thanksgiving. 63 00:02:08,162 --> 00:02:10,831 Hey, um, I wish you'd be a little more mindful 64 00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:12,466 of my family situation. 65 00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:13,801 I'm sorry -- I didn't realize the vigil 66 00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:16,170 had drifted out to the common areas. 67 00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:18,606 Cam, come on. She's 95 years old and plugged into a wall. 68 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,174 Maybe it's time to, you know... 69 00:02:20,208 --> 00:02:21,875 What? What are you saying, Mitchell? 70 00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:23,211 That we should pull the plug? 71 00:02:23,244 --> 00:02:25,145 Lord o' mercy. 72 00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:28,982 Have you even taken your turn sitting with Gram? 73 00:02:29,016 --> 00:02:31,018 No, she doesn't want me there. She hates me. 74 00:02:31,051 --> 00:02:32,320 This again. 75 00:02:32,353 --> 00:02:34,054 Cam, she refers to me as "the sissy." 76 00:02:34,087 --> 00:02:35,856 You heard that wrong. 77 00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:37,958 She's hard to understand because of the dentures she inherited. 78 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:40,394 You know they were made from the keys of a child's piano. 79 00:02:40,428 --> 00:02:42,196 What do you even say to someone in a coma? 80 00:02:42,230 --> 00:02:43,497 Well, Mama's reading her poetry. 81 00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:45,132 Lily's reciting scripture. 82 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,201 Pam and I are gonna sing a song we wrote when we were younger, 83 00:02:47,235 --> 00:02:48,236 "Sweet Home Ala-gramma." 84 00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:49,637 Okay, yeah, t-teach me that. 85 00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:52,306 Oh, I'm sorry -- Is she your Ala-gramma? 86 00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:54,074 Oh, fine. I'll think of something. 87 00:02:56,444 --> 00:02:57,678 * Onward -- 88 00:02:59,213 --> 00:03:00,080 Sorry. 89 00:03:04,252 --> 00:03:05,919 This collar itches. 90 00:03:05,953 --> 00:03:08,656 Stop it. You all look so handsome. 91 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,524 We look like The Three Amigos. 92 00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:11,892 We were in Juarez 93 00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:14,528 for my sweet 19-year-old cousin Marisol's third wedding. 94 00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:16,664 It was so beautiful. 95 00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,999 Thank God that they finished that tunnel in time 96 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,034 for her father to make it. 97 00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:23,904 Ay, Jay, stop with the phone. You're missing everything. 98 00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:25,839 Hang on -- I'm trying to lock up some sausages 99 00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,275 for Father's Day this weekend. 100 00:03:27,308 --> 00:03:29,209 You wait till the last minute, you wind up eating 101 00:03:29,243 --> 00:03:31,211 chicken and apple, like some damn hippie. 102 00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:32,380 Double click! 103 00:03:33,781 --> 00:03:34,882 La Diabla. 104 00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:36,750 Manny, come dance with me. 105 00:03:41,088 --> 00:03:43,056 Son of a bitch, that's good! 106 00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:44,425 Hola, Jay. 107 00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:46,794 Oh, hey...Sonia. 108 00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:48,362 I see Gloria's avoiding me. 109 00:03:48,396 --> 00:03:51,399 She's still mad because I forwarded her that mass e-mail. 110 00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:53,301 Could be that, or it could be the last time you saw her, 111 00:03:53,334 --> 00:03:54,968 you tried to steal me and kill her. 112 00:03:55,002 --> 00:03:55,869 Hm. 113 00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:57,538 So, how is my sister? 114 00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:59,106 Fantastic. Great. 115 00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:01,141 'Course, with Joe and also her hot-sauce business, 116 00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:02,710 she got a lot on her plate. 117 00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:04,978 Hey, have you tried one of these Mexican cookies? 118 00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:06,146 They just call them cookies. 119 00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:07,281 I'll speak with Gloria later. 120 00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:09,016 I have to drop this at the gift table. 121 00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:11,118 Great. 122 00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:16,757 My seat is cold, and the flowers wilted. 123 00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:18,091 I see that my sister has been here. 124 00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:19,560 Will you get over that? 125 00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,429 She couldn't have been nicer. We talked about Joe. 126 00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:23,664 I told her how well your hot-sauce business was going. 127 00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:25,899 By the way, have you tried one of these cookies? 128 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,601 Why did you tell her about the sauce? 129 00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:29,337 Everybody, get your things. 130 00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:31,238 We have to leave Juarez right now! 131 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,641 What?! It took me 45 minutes to get into this outfit! 132 00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:35,443 You know how crazy Sonia can be. 133 00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:37,110 She's gonna be so jealous now that she knows 134 00:04:37,144 --> 00:04:39,580 that I am a very successful businesswoman. 135 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,081 Aren't you 400 bucks in the hole on that thing? 136 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,249 You don't think this looks bad -- 137 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,617 us walking out before dinner? 138 00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:46,754 Joe has a fever, and he -- he's sweating very much. 139 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:47,821 No, I'm not. 140 00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:52,660 I'm gonna reverse what I said. 141 00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:54,762 Central Park dog rentals -- million-dollar idea. 142 00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:57,197 Yeah, and maybe it's just the high of being on vacation, 143 00:04:57,230 --> 00:04:58,666 but is there a bird more majestic 144 00:04:58,699 --> 00:04:59,800 than the American pigeon? 145 00:05:01,469 --> 00:05:04,037 Get dressed. We're going out for walk-around breakfast pizza. 146 00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:07,207 Oh! Shoot. Forgot my room key. 147 00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:15,783 Oh! I've got to get a picture of this paneling for my dad. 148 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:19,353 Aromatic cedar flakeboard -- game a-changed. 149 00:05:19,387 --> 00:05:20,721 I love my sexy little closet nerd. 150 00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:22,490 Oh, honey. 151 00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:23,724 I'm gonna take a quick tub. 152 00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:25,025 We should check in with the kids from "the road." 153 00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:26,394 Oh, right, right. 154 00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:29,697 We should also maybe get some ice for drinks. 155 00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:31,999 Let's wait for him in the lobby. I need coffee anyway. 156 00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:34,668 The people next door kept me up all night with their sex noises. 157 00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:35,836 I caught the end of that. 158 00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:37,170 He sounded like a scared ghost. 159 00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:38,506 "Ohh! Ohh!" 160 00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:39,540 Ugh. 161 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:43,877 Oh, my God. It's Mom. 162 00:05:43,911 --> 00:05:45,212 Uh, well, stay calm. 163 00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:47,180 Uh, we're home, we flew in last night. 164 00:05:47,214 --> 00:05:48,582 Oh. Come on. She's gonna want to talk to Luke. 165 00:05:48,616 --> 00:05:49,349 Oh. 166 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:53,721 Hi, Mom. 167 00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:54,922 Hi, sweetie. 168 00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:56,323 I'm coming to you from West Virginia. 169 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,725 What are you girls doing today? 170 00:05:57,758 --> 00:06:00,694 Oh, you know, me and Alex just out shopping. 171 00:06:00,728 --> 00:06:02,329 Who are you talking to? 172 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,031 Dad. Who are you talking to? 173 00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:04,765 Mom.Mom. 174 00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:06,734 The girls. Luke. 175 00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:08,769 Hold on. 176 00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:10,003 I told them we were in West Virginia. 177 00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:11,171 What did you say? Kentucky. 178 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,272 Mom thinks we're shopping. 179 00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:13,841 I told Dad I was making us breakfast. 180 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,108 When have you ever made us breakfast?! 181 00:06:15,142 --> 00:06:17,010 Okay, girls, um, I got to go. 182 00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:18,679 Us too. Drive safely. Bye. 183 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:19,847 Hey, buddy, I should get going. 184 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,114 There's a cop walking towards us. 185 00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:22,683 I guess it looks weird with us parked right here 186 00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,418 on the state border with me up here in Kentucky 187 00:06:24,452 --> 00:06:26,887 and your mom in the back seat over in West Virginia. Got it. 188 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,288 I should probably finish packing up the breakfast 189 00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:29,457 I'm bringing to the girls 190 00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:30,724 at the shopping mall where they're shopping. 191 00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:34,127 Okay. See ya, pal. See ya. 192 00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:35,929 That's how you do that. Done. 193 00:06:35,963 --> 00:06:39,366 * Sweet home Ala-gramma 194 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:42,202 * Eyes and hair of gorgeous blue * 195 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:44,371 I'm gonna come back. 196 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:45,405 No, no, no. I'm glad you're up here. 197 00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:46,707 We can finish later. Yeah, yeah. 198 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,709 She likes it when you stroke her hair and rub her feet. 199 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,778 And, Mitchell, make sure her tongue stays moist. 200 00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:52,946 How would I -- Ugh. 201 00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:54,314 Hey, Grams. 202 00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:56,584 How's -- How's the coma? 203 00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:00,087 Oh, my God. Oh, my God! 204 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,955 A-Are you trying to say something? 205 00:07:01,989 --> 00:07:02,723 Aww. 206 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:04,057 Ow. Ow! 207 00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:05,726 Grams. Ow, that hurts. Let -- let go. 208 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:06,660 Grams, l-let go. 209 00:07:06,694 --> 00:07:08,596 Let go, Grams. Let go, Grams! 210 00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:10,731 What the hell are you telling her? 211 00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:13,400 What happened?! 212 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,402 I just walked in, 213 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:18,271 and Mitchell was telling her to let go, and she did! 214 00:07:18,305 --> 00:07:19,907 Oh, let go -- let go of my hair. 215 00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,542 - Somebody call the race track! - Get the doctor! 216 00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:28,982 Nice turnout. Sure is. 217 00:07:29,016 --> 00:07:30,784 Grams would hate all these people on her property. 218 00:07:30,818 --> 00:07:32,119 She sure would. 219 00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:35,923 Hi. 220 00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:38,425 Oh, my God. I can feel your family staring daggers at me. 221 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,594 Can't believe they think I killed Grams. 222 00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:42,696 Like I'd really be telling her to let go of life. 223 00:07:42,730 --> 00:07:44,264 Well, you can see how they'd wonder 224 00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:45,766 after you put your suitcase in her room. 225 00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,300 It sounds like you're taking their side. 226 00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:49,369 You can't blame them for questioning your story 227 00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:52,105 about a comatose arthritic woman pulling your hair. 228 00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:54,274 Not a story. A thing that happened. 229 00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,043 Fine. Fine. 230 00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,547 And you didn't help your case 231 00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:00,814 by accidentall erasing her "Matlocks." 232 00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:02,950 Oh, my God! Just drop it! 233 00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:06,086 No, not -- not the... No. I -- I... 234 00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:09,690 Okay, so, when do you guys think you're gonna be back? 235 00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:11,291 Definitely by Father's Day. 236 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:12,893 Oh, okay. Well, we miss you guys. 237 00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:15,162 But at least it's still only three more days. 238 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,165 Was it a little risky? 239 00:08:18,198 --> 00:08:20,668 Not as long as the master did the talking. 240 00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:22,035 Uh-huh, uh-huh. 241 00:08:22,069 --> 00:08:23,671 Aww. Love you both. Bye. 242 00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:25,005 We miss you guys. 243 00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:26,807 Got to run outside and paint the mailbox. 244 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,542 All you had to do was say goodbye. 245 00:08:28,576 --> 00:08:30,377 Now we have to paint the mailbox when we get home. 246 00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:31,311 Sorry. 247 00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:32,646 It just popped into my head 248 00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:35,348 when I saw the Statue of Liberty holding that paintbrush. 249 00:08:36,449 --> 00:08:38,852 You know, what she used to paint freedom in America. 250 00:08:38,886 --> 00:08:39,687 Oh. 251 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:40,988 Mm-hmm. 252 00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,389 Yeah. 253 00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:45,192 The key to a good lie is keep it simple. 254 00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:47,527 Well, why don't I stop talking 255 00:08:47,561 --> 00:08:50,764 about how good it is here and just bring you some? 256 00:08:50,798 --> 00:08:52,900 Okay. Bye-bye. 257 00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:55,603 We need to pick up a wheel of Arizona spicy sheep cheese. 258 00:08:55,636 --> 00:08:57,170 Couldn't you just say goodbye?! 259 00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,939 Claire, the sign says "No loud noises." 260 00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:00,107 You'll scare David Blaine. 261 00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:04,845 So, he just sits in jello for four days? 262 00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,614 I don't get how that's magic. 263 00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:07,581 You wouldn't. 264 00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,451 I wish Dad was here. 265 00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:12,586 He'd love this. 266 00:09:12,620 --> 00:09:14,788 Well, he isn't, and neither are we. 267 00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:19,092 Remember how Luke used to call it "jeh-woh"? 268 00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:22,095 I hate that I can't share this with him. 269 00:09:22,129 --> 00:09:24,197 Magic isn't about secrets and tricking people. 270 00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:25,733 Phil! Get it together. 271 00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:27,367 Like your boyfriend, David Blaine, 272 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,903 we're taking how we did this to the grave. 273 00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:31,972 I just feel bad that he's missing out. 274 00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:33,140 This is our thing. 275 00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:34,307 Hey! 276 00:09:34,341 --> 00:09:35,475 You will never tell him about this, 277 00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:36,644 or we will finish 278 00:09:36,677 --> 00:09:38,779 what that unlicensed carnival started, okay? 279 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,215 The morning we were set to fly back for Father's Day, 280 00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:44,952 a storm in the midwest canceled our flight. 281 00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:48,588 Let's just get to the airport, and we will find a flight. 282 00:09:48,622 --> 00:09:51,725 Taxi! Damn it! It's already taken! 283 00:09:51,759 --> 00:09:53,827 Okay, so I think I got us on a flight through Denver. 284 00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:54,662 Do you mind the middle seat? 285 00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:55,729 If it'll help. 286 00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:57,064 Oh! 287 00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,832 This can't all be carnival-related. 288 00:09:58,866 --> 00:10:00,000 Taxi! 289 00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:01,134 Taxi! 290 00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:04,171 Ay, Jay, I was going to cook the sausage. 291 00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:05,305 Hey, I don't mind. 292 00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:07,107 He's taking over because we screwed up 293 00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:08,175 the last few Father's Days. 294 00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:09,409 Don't be silly. I got this. 295 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:10,610 Shoo, shoo. Go. 296 00:10:10,644 --> 00:10:12,846 When I think of the last few Father's Days, 297 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,015 I quake with rage. 298 00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:17,017 Hey, maybe put a little thought into it. 299 00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:18,786 Maybe we don't order the pizza. 300 00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:20,320 And if we do, 301 00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:22,656 maybe we get enough crazy bread for everybody. 302 00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:24,524 I'm sorry, but who made Father's Day 303 00:10:24,557 --> 00:10:27,027 the dirty stepchild of holidays?! 304 00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:29,697 We don't even have a song. 305 00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:30,964 Daddy? What? 306 00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:32,332 Got you a present. 307 00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:34,201 That's my boy! 308 00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:35,936 Let's see. What do we got in here? 309 00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:38,305 Hey. An ice bucket. 310 00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:41,541 I saw Manny take shampoos from the hotel. 311 00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:43,010 So I took some things, too. 312 00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:44,544 Then some bigger things. 313 00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:45,612 I like stealing. 314 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,280 It makes my heart go fast. 315 00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:48,515 And what's in the ice bucket? 316 00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:50,183 Oh! 317 00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:52,185 A hair dryer. Thanks, buddy. 318 00:10:53,821 --> 00:10:55,255 Who's here so early? 319 00:10:58,726 --> 00:11:00,560 Sonia, what are you doing here? 320 00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:03,063 You left Juarez so fast, I didn't get to say goodbye. 321 00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:05,365 We're sisters. We shouldn't fight. 322 00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:06,233 I miss you. 323 00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:08,135 Okay, got it. 324 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,169 Gloria! 325 00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:12,740 Sonia. I'm sorry. Come in. 326 00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:13,841 No, I couldn't. 327 00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:15,542 No, you came from so far away. 328 00:11:15,575 --> 00:11:16,977 Come on in. Stay awhile. 329 00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:17,878 Thank you, Jay. 330 00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:19,346 The Mexican cookies. 331 00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:20,213 I never thought I'd see those again. 332 00:11:20,247 --> 00:11:21,314 Let me help you with those. 333 00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:22,916 Hey, Aunt Sonia. Hola, Manny. 334 00:11:22,950 --> 00:11:25,385 I have some luggage in the car. Come help me. 335 00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:27,420 Okay. Help your aunt. Go ahead. 336 00:11:29,622 --> 00:11:30,858 Why did you let her in? 337 00:11:30,891 --> 00:11:32,159 You have to talk to her. 338 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:33,761 I really think she's here to apologize. 339 00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:35,262 You don't know her like I do. 340 00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:37,831 Ohh! Wait! 341 00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:39,933 What are you doing?! 342 00:11:39,967 --> 00:11:41,902 Great, Jay. Now she kidnapped Manny. 343 00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:49,777 Why are you so calm? 344 00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:51,244 Shouldn't we follow them or call the police? 345 00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:52,212 No, it's just a kidnapping. It's normal in my family. 346 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:55,048 Ransom call. 347 00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:58,718 ¿Sí? 348 00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:04,291 Mom, I'm really scare-- 349 00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:09,596 She wants my hot-sauce business in exchange for Manny. 350 00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:11,731 Good! Then she owes us 400 bucks. 351 00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:12,900 We get the kid back. 352 00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:14,234 No deal. 353 00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:15,903 I'll handle it. 354 00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:17,938 My sister, my problem. 355 00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:19,072 My holiday! 356 00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:24,311 Oh! That's the kids pulling up right now. 357 00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:26,446 Just act normal. I was born normal. 358 00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:29,082 Not really. They said I came out with bangs. 359 00:12:29,116 --> 00:12:31,218 Hey. Now all we have to do is stick the landing. 360 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,685 Don't blow it by acting weird. 361 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:34,788 Hey! 362 00:12:34,822 --> 00:12:37,057 Oh! I missed you! Buddy! 363 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,258 Oh, how was the drive?! 364 00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:39,960 Oh, it was great. 365 00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:41,494 Yeah. Yeah? 366 00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:42,762 We would have been here a lot earlier, 367 00:12:42,796 --> 00:12:44,597 but there was a ton of traffic on... 368 00:12:44,631 --> 00:12:46,099 A-America. 369 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:48,335 What do you say we go find Grandpa, huh? 370 00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:49,402 Yes. 371 00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:50,270 Here we go. Let's go. 372 00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:52,139 So, uh, good week? 373 00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:53,073 Meh. 374 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,074 Same. Meh. 375 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:54,975 Meh. 376 00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:55,608 Neh. 377 00:12:55,642 --> 00:12:56,343 Pbht. 378 00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:57,144 Buh. 379 00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:58,611 Bleh. Ehh. 380 00:12:58,645 --> 00:12:59,679 Oh, my God. They're talking. Are they? 381 00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:00,647 Meh. Pbht. 382 00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:02,315 All right, you chatterboxes. 383 00:13:02,349 --> 00:13:03,851 Let's get this party started, huh? 384 00:13:03,884 --> 00:13:05,185 Yeah, it's almost 4:00. 385 00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:06,353 1:00. 386 00:13:07,821 --> 00:13:08,788 That was great. 387 00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:09,622 Really? 388 00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:11,091 No. But that's how you lie. 389 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,359 Go splash some water on your face. 390 00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:14,494 Hey, guys. Hey. 391 00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:15,695 Hi! How are you? Hi! 392 00:13:15,728 --> 00:13:17,264 Hi. Where are Cam and Lily? 393 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:18,698 Uh, they're still at the farm. 394 00:13:18,731 --> 00:13:19,867 I got banished. 395 00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:21,701 Sounds like you're ramping up to a story, 396 00:13:21,734 --> 00:13:23,470 but I got some stuff going on, so... 397 00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:25,005 Okay. Good to be home. 398 00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:27,107 Okay, so Cam's grandmother, the one who called me a sissy, 399 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,441 she died. 400 00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:30,177 And I -- I was alone with her when it happened, 401 00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:32,579 and the family thinks that I nudged it along. 402 00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:36,683 Cam's grandma died? Oh, my God. 403 00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:38,185 You still do that thing where you smile 404 00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:39,619 whenever you talk about death. 405 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:41,388 It's just a coping mechanism. It's gonna pass. 406 00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:42,890 You've been doing it since I was 10 years old 407 00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:44,324 and we buried my hamster in the backyard. 408 00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:46,193 His name was Whiskers. 409 00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:48,561 Can you be a human being for one second? Uh-huh. 410 00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:49,863 Mm-kay? 411 00:13:49,897 --> 00:13:51,731 So, Cam totally took his family's side 412 00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:53,300 when they all turned against me. 413 00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:54,534 Well, that's just a reflex. 414 00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:55,903 You always take your family's side. 415 00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:57,404 Oh, come on. Where is that written? 416 00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:58,838 Remember when you first brought Cam home 417 00:13:58,872 --> 00:14:00,040 and I privately said to you, 418 00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:02,042 "You might want to move on from this one," 419 00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:03,977 and Dad said, "I thought you liked men"? 420 00:14:04,011 --> 00:14:05,178 And then when Cam thought 421 00:14:05,212 --> 00:14:07,147 he was picking up on us not liking him, 422 00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,982 you told Cam he was crazy. 423 00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:11,651 I guess I did do that, huh? Yeah. 424 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:13,553 God, you and Dad are mean. 425 00:14:13,586 --> 00:14:15,555 Aww. Says the murderer. 426 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:19,927 Gloria, we can't sit around doing nothing. Call Sonia. 427 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,729 Tell her to bring Manny and the cookies to a neutral place, 428 00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:24,531 and we'll make the exchange. 429 00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:27,334 Why would I make an exchange? We have all the leverage. 430 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,335 She has your son. 431 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,203 What is she gonna do? Raise Manny? 432 00:14:30,237 --> 00:14:32,172 Don't worry. He's going to be fine. 433 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,673 There's got to be a better way. 434 00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:35,475 My parents will be worried sick. 435 00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:41,014 Why does she want your sauce business, anyway? 436 00:14:41,048 --> 00:14:42,882 Well, maybe she has a reason to think 437 00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:44,684 that it should be partly hers. 438 00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:47,587 My late aunt gave that hot-sauce recipe to both of us. 439 00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:48,922 Not just Gloria. 440 00:14:48,956 --> 00:14:50,290 Sonia didn't care about the recipe. 441 00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:51,724 She was very lazy. 442 00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:54,561 I said, "Maybe I'll go to America and sell the sauce. 443 00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:56,463 Try to make something of myself." 444 00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:58,865 So I gently talked her out of it. 445 00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:01,268 She told me my idea was stupid -- 446 00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:02,535 just like all my ideas. 447 00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:05,205 And then I changed my mind, and I did her dream. 448 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:06,639 What is she so mad about? 449 00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:08,608 I'm sorry to involve you in this feud. 450 00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:10,077 It's okay. 451 00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:11,711 I'm actually starting to see your side of this. 452 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,146 Thank you. 453 00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:14,414 As long as this isn't that thing 454 00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:16,316 where the person gets kidnapped and then -- 455 00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:19,319 Why am only now noticing how beautiful you are? 456 00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:21,554 Ay, dios mio. 457 00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:24,291 Surprise! 458 00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:25,725 Happy Father's Day! 459 00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,294 Wait -- you guys flew in? 460 00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:30,330 Yeah, I just wanted us to all be together today. Aww! 461 00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:32,465 In spite of your thoughtlessness and insensitivity. 462 00:15:32,499 --> 00:15:34,167 Okay, those mean the same thing, but okay. 463 00:15:34,201 --> 00:15:35,568 Look, I just want you to know 464 00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:37,437 I understand why you took your family's side. 465 00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:39,139 And I am sorry I put you in that position. 466 00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:40,640 Oh, I appreciate that, Mitchell. 467 00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:43,143 I'm so sorry for your loss. 468 00:15:43,176 --> 00:15:45,112 Can I get our gifts out of the car? 469 00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:46,913 Grams left us all something in her will -- 470 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,015 even you. 471 00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:49,616 She left me something! Aww. 472 00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:51,318 Even though you're stubborn and pigheaded. 473 00:15:51,351 --> 00:15:52,952 Okay, again -- Oh... 474 00:15:55,388 --> 00:15:56,756 Manny's here. 475 00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,025 I had to bring him back. 476 00:15:58,058 --> 00:16:00,360 He was driving me crazy with his googly eyes. 477 00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:02,362 My eyes are but lifeless orbs compared to -- 478 00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:03,830 Yeah, go get me a beer. 479 00:16:03,863 --> 00:16:05,832 How dare you take my son. 480 00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:07,434 How dare you take my business model. 481 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,869 Guys, we have a party going on. Let's take it over here. 482 00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:11,671 Now, Gloria, you have admitted yourself 483 00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:13,306 that you have a history of stealing things 484 00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:14,174 from this one here. 485 00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:15,142 Oh, here we go. 486 00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:16,209 Sonia's perfect, 487 00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:18,378 and Gloria can't do anything right! 488 00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:20,013 You sound just like my father! 489 00:16:20,047 --> 00:16:21,181 Hold on. 490 00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:22,615 Are you saying that all this 491 00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:24,884 is about some weird competition over your father? 492 00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:27,287 This is why you sabotage my whole life? 493 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,122 Because Papá loved me more? 494 00:16:29,156 --> 00:16:30,190 Don't love that. 495 00:16:31,358 --> 00:16:33,126 Oh, my God. I guess so. 496 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:34,627 I can't believe it. 497 00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:36,463 You are jealous of me. 498 00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,665 Just in that one area. 499 00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:41,534 But I shouldn't treat you badly because Papá choose you. 500 00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:43,970 It must have been hard for a little girl. 501 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:46,739 When you lose a love like that at such a young age, 502 00:16:46,773 --> 00:16:49,376 you spend the rest of your life trying to replace it. 503 00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:50,510 Okay. 504 00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:54,847 Listen, if you want the hot-sauce business, 505 00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:56,149 take it -- it's yours. 506 00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:58,385 No, no. Your jealousy is all I need. 507 00:16:58,418 --> 00:17:01,821 I want to give you something that is very precious to me. 508 00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:02,922 Not Manny. 509 00:17:02,955 --> 00:17:04,391 It's something that I should have given you 510 00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:05,825 a long time ago 511 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:08,728 that is gonna keep you close to Papá forever. 512 00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:14,901 Oh! Lily, we were gonna open Grams' gifts together! 513 00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:16,936 I couldn't wait. Grams left you a watch. 514 00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:18,505 Oh! The note says, 515 00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:21,241 "Your grandpa tore it right off of a dead kraut's wrist." 516 00:17:21,274 --> 00:17:22,909 Oh, that's so sweet! 517 00:17:22,942 --> 00:17:24,043 And I got these. 518 00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:28,348 "Enjoy all my old lipstick, you big sissy." 519 00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:30,217 Why did she call me a sissy? 520 00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:31,384 I -- She doesn't -- 521 00:17:31,418 --> 00:17:33,120 Oh! We're opening Grams' gifts, huh? 522 00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:34,721 This must be yours. Okay. 523 00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:36,456 Let -- You know, we can do this later. 524 00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:37,390 You opened yours. 525 00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:38,725 Okay. 526 00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:40,460 "When Cam first brought you here, 527 00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:42,095 I thought I'd never get used to you. 528 00:17:42,129 --> 00:17:44,431 I was raised to hate your kind. 529 00:17:44,464 --> 00:17:47,300 But seeing how happy you make my grandson, 530 00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:50,470 I...couldn't help but come to care for you." 531 00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:52,939 Cam. I was wrong about her. 532 00:17:52,972 --> 00:17:54,241 Yes. You were. 533 00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:55,375 Now, let's put this someplace safe. 534 00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:56,709 No, no, wait. There's more. There's more. 535 00:17:56,743 --> 00:18:01,148 "Who else but you should inherit my beloved Oriental fan? 536 00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:03,250 I hope it don't make you homesick." 537 00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:05,084 She said I was gonna get that fan. 538 00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:07,420 Well, you know, she did get very stupid near the end. 539 00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:09,256 Okay, well, gift time seems to be over. 540 00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:10,957 Okay, Cam. This is Lily's gift, isn't it? 541 00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:12,159 No. 542 00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:15,328 Oh! So you're the big sissy! 543 00:18:15,362 --> 00:18:17,764 Here. 544 00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:20,167 Her lipsticks! 545 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,702 Oh. I suppose you're gonna read into this, too. 546 00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:27,974 Wow, those sausages smell fantastic! 547 00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:29,909 You all right, Dad? 548 00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,611 Yeah, I guess I could say a few words. 549 00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:35,915 I appreciate you guys honoring me on this great holiday. 550 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,450 But I'm not the only dad here. 551 00:18:40,387 --> 00:18:42,121 You three lucked out a little bit in that department, right? 552 00:18:42,155 --> 00:18:43,290 We sure did. 553 00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:44,324 Eh... Well... 554 00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:46,793 Best job I ever had. 555 00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:48,595 Raising two dynamite ladies 556 00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:52,199 and the...best buddy a guy could ever ask for. 557 00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:54,167 Oh, what is with this? 558 00:18:54,201 --> 00:18:55,502 No crazy bread this year? Yeah! 559 00:18:55,535 --> 00:18:56,969 We stayed in New York for five more days. 560 00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:58,371 And I saw David Blaine in jello, 561 00:18:58,405 --> 00:19:00,207 and I've been dying to tell you, but they wouldn't let me! 562 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:01,474 You're a disgrace. 563 00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:02,875 Oh, my God! Your mother and I -- 564 00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:04,611 Are furious! Furious! 565 00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:05,812 You were in New York this whole time, 566 00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:07,113 and you didn't say anything -- 567 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,115 Now, I don't know what can of worms this is, 568 00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,650 but I know this is my day, 569 00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:12,385 and I want you to calm down. 570 00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:15,988 Is that a phone in your pocket? 571 00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:17,324 That's my phone. 572 00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:19,359 I've been looking for this since yesterday. 573 00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:20,893 I steal now. 574 00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:23,196 Phil, did you text me? 575 00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:24,564 Oh, yeah, um, 576 00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:25,798 Claire asked me to send you a picture 577 00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:27,300 of the closet in our New York hotel. 578 00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:28,901 Oh, my God! Is this you naked?! 579 00:19:28,935 --> 00:19:29,636 What? 580 00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:31,538 Why? 581 00:19:31,571 --> 00:19:33,240 Honey, will you send my dad a picture of that closet 582 00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:34,741 before I forget? 583 00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:39,746 Oh! No. Mnh-mnh. 584 00:19:39,779 --> 00:19:40,813 Hey. What's all the -- 585 00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:42,181 O...kay. No, thanks. 586 00:19:42,215 --> 00:19:44,251 I already have confusing feelings for one relative. 587 00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:47,554 All...right. Can this just be done now? 588 00:19:47,587 --> 00:19:49,088 How did you even -- 589 00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:50,890 Wait a minute. It is raining in the background. 590 00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:52,992 But it didn't rain while we were all there. 591 00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,494 It only rained in New York yesterday. 592 00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,162 Oh, my God! You stayed in New York without us! 593 00:19:56,963 --> 00:19:57,930 We're liars! 594 00:19:57,964 --> 00:19:59,266 I'm so sorry. 595 00:19:59,299 --> 00:20:01,901 No, it's my fault. I -- I kept the lie going. 596 00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:03,436 Okay, are we really glossing over the fact 597 00:20:03,470 --> 00:20:04,737 that I figured something out? 598 00:20:04,771 --> 00:20:06,172 I'll tell you what else we're glossing over -- 599 00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,441 how bad you all are at Father's Day. 600 00:20:08,475 --> 00:20:10,209 I've got one son who's a kleptomaniac, 601 00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:12,211 the other who's in love with his own aunt -- 602 00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:13,913 creepy even by your standards -- 603 00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:16,283 and a daughter who I was forced to see naked 604 00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:17,717 as the day she was born. 605 00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:20,186 Come on, Cam. Kiss me like the sissy I am! 606 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:21,053 Right on cue. 607 00:20:21,087 --> 00:20:21,921 Oh, God. 608 00:20:21,954 --> 00:20:23,256 Happy Father's Day to me. 609 00:20:23,290 --> 00:20:25,057 Icing on the cake -- I just found out 610 00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:27,794 my own wife has major daddy issues. 611 00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:30,229 Makes me wonder if that's the whole reason she's with me. 612 00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:31,598 Dad, come on. 613 00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:33,199 We may have ruined your day, yes, 614 00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:34,867 but now you're just spiraling. 615 00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:37,304 I mean, every relationship has its issues, 616 00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:39,205 and Gloria adores you! 617 00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:40,106 Take the win. 618 00:20:40,139 --> 00:20:41,741 You think? 619 00:20:41,774 --> 00:20:43,610 Papá was so handsome. 620 00:20:45,412 --> 00:20:47,480 Yes!Yes. Yes.Yes! 621 00:20:49,849 --> 00:20:51,183 All right! 622 00:20:57,189 --> 00:20:58,425 You each have a sausage on your plate 623 00:20:58,458 --> 00:20:59,225 I selected based on your individual personality 624 00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:00,327 and temperament. 625 00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:02,395 Is this blood sausage? Because mine's pink. 626 00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:03,396 Oh, my mine's pink, t-- 627 00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:04,597 Oh. Very funny, Dad. 628 00:21:04,631 --> 00:21:06,232 Now take a bite of bread, 629 00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:08,267 a sip of water to cleanse the palate. 630 00:21:08,301 --> 00:21:09,636 Mine smells spicy. 631 00:21:09,669 --> 00:21:12,505 Show of hands. Who heard me say "Smell your sausage"? 632 00:21:12,539 --> 00:21:14,307 The box said these pigs were massaged daily, 633 00:21:14,341 --> 00:21:16,976 then killed from behind to keep the panic hormone from tainting the meat. 634 00:21:17,009 --> 00:21:19,412 They were murdered from behind? 635 00:21:19,446 --> 00:21:21,113 The three things I want you to pay attention to 636 00:21:21,147 --> 00:21:22,749 are bouquet, texture, and finish. 637 00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:23,550 You may begin. 638 00:21:25,051 --> 00:21:25,652 Can I have some ketchup? 639 00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:27,053 We're done here.