1
00:00:02,203 --> 00:00:06,407
Oh! Oh.
Good morn-ing.

2
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:09,143
Hmm.
Oh.

3
00:00:09,177 --> 00:00:09,977
How did I spend
my summer vacation?

4
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,346
I got over my breakup
with Andy.

5
00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:14,248
I got a job
at Grandpa's country club.

6
00:00:14,282 --> 00:00:16,150
I got mono.
Too close!

7
00:00:16,184 --> 00:00:18,252
Put your mask on!

8
00:00:18,286 --> 00:00:20,754
No one misses two weeks
at Caltech and catches up.

9
00:00:20,788 --> 00:00:22,156
What am I gonna do?

10
00:00:22,190 --> 00:00:23,424
Well, honey,
I think you need to focus

11
00:00:23,457 --> 00:00:24,892
on getting
a little bit stronger,

12
00:00:24,925 --> 00:00:26,994
a little bit healthier
and just a little farther.

13
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,730
How do nerds
even get mono?

14
00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:31,865
Did you all practice
by kissing the same pillow?

15
00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:32,933
Shouldn't you be at work
by now?

16
00:00:32,966 --> 00:00:35,269
I got fired.

17
00:00:35,303 --> 00:00:37,371
My plan was to hide it from my
parents until I got a new job,

18
00:00:37,405 --> 00:00:38,606
but with smarty-pants Alex home,

19
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:41,575
I had to be more careful, or
she was going to figure it out.

20
00:00:41,609 --> 00:00:44,778
Her being super-sick is coming
at a really bad time for me.

21
00:00:44,812 --> 00:00:47,215
You got in late
last night, huh?

22
00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:48,549
Yeah. It was payday,

23
00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:50,418
and a game of craps
broke out in the kitchen.

24
00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:52,052
See this watch?
Enrique's grandfather's.

25
00:00:52,086 --> 00:00:55,623
You're giving it back, and
remember, the second that job

26
00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:57,291
interferes with your grades,
you're done.

27
00:00:57,325 --> 00:00:58,726
Did you finish
your history report?

28
00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:00,628
Just got to dot the I's
and cross the T's...

29
00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:03,030
and put in
all the other letters.

30
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:03,931
It's okay, everybody!

31
00:01:03,964 --> 00:01:06,900
I'm alive!

32
00:01:08,969 --> 00:01:13,274
I had a traumatic experience
after an open house.

33
00:01:13,307 --> 00:01:15,776
Have a good one.

34
00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:33,961
Oh, no.

35
00:01:45,139 --> 00:01:48,176
Aaaaaaah.

36
00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:57,618
Monday lunch, Monday dinner.

37
00:01:57,651 --> 00:02:02,022
Tuesday
breakfast, Tuesday lunch.

38
00:02:08,296 --> 00:02:09,297
Welcome home.

39
00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:12,032
Open house went great.
Lots of interested buyers.

40
00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:15,769
Fun fact -- Some stranger,
probably a long time ago,

41
00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:16,937
wrote
their last will and testament

42
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,105
right here on your wall.

43
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:21,041
Trust me on this.

44
00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:24,845
Did nobody notice
I was gone for 18 hours?

45
00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:26,314
Why aren't you all
making posters?

46
00:02:26,347 --> 00:02:27,181
I figured
you were in your office.

47
00:02:27,215 --> 00:02:29,550
I went to bed
really early last night,

48
00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,018
and when I woke up this morning,
I thought you'd gone for a run.

49
00:02:31,051 --> 00:02:34,522
Alex?
I can't believe this!

50
00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:37,525
Well, honey, the important
thing is that you are okay.

51
00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:39,393
Now, I'm very sorry,
but I've got to get to work.

52
00:02:39,427 --> 00:02:42,129
We are bidding a big job
against my old nemesis,

53
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,198
Closets, Closets,
Closets, Closets.

54
00:02:44,232 --> 00:02:45,699
I'm back in there.

55
00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:48,736
**

56
00:02:59,447 --> 00:03:01,014
I want to live outside.

57
00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:03,384
No, Señor, we're not having
that argument anymore.

58
00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:04,318
Mowgli lives outside.

59
00:03:04,352 --> 00:03:07,054
Is Mowgli
that dirty kid at his preschool

60
00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:09,557
whose parents drive the car
that runs on French fry oil?

61
00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:12,560
No. It's that dirty kid that
runs around The Jungle Book.

62
00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:14,194
Jay, tell him he can't.

63
00:03:14,228 --> 00:03:17,097
First time I saw Tarzan,
I wanted to live outside.

64
00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:20,067
Dad said fine. I walked
in the woods, met a hobo.

65
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:22,370
Taught me how to open a can
with a bird's beak.

66
00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:24,272
That story's not helping!

67
00:03:24,305 --> 00:03:25,406
I'm doing it.

68
00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:25,939
No! Jay!

69
00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:28,108
Of course not.

70
00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:28,942
Why learn self-reliance
when the industrial machine

71
00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:31,612
depends
on constant consumption?

72
00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:33,881
No eggs for me.
I'll be having porridge.

73
00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:35,783
Are you really
still doing this?

74
00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:38,886
Over the summer, I went to a
wedding in Juárez and met Frida,

75
00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:40,454
this amazing girl
who enlightened me

76
00:03:40,488 --> 00:03:42,122
to how Communism
can rid the world of injustice.

77
00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:46,059
Mm.
What a beautiful reception.

78
00:03:46,093 --> 00:03:47,895
Yeah.

79
00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:49,963
Oh, right.
That's a bad thing.

80
00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:52,132
I live simply now,
and it's good for me.

81
00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:55,403
Might it also help my chance
of kissing her one day? Yes.

82
00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:57,137
And if that requires
living in a world

83
00:03:57,170 --> 00:03:59,973
where the government
chooses all our songs, so be it.

84
00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:01,275
I'm gonna take a coffee

85
00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:02,610
to the guy putting up
the security cameras.

86
00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:05,913
It's not coffee the laborers
need, Jay. It's dignity.

87
00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:06,880
And I'm going to fight
for that

88
00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:08,982
until my fingers are raw
and my back is bent.

89
00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:11,319
Six months ago, we took you
to the dermatologist

90
00:04:11,352 --> 00:04:13,454
for taking
too many bubble baths.

91
00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:15,122
Brought you this.

92
00:04:15,155 --> 00:04:16,924
Oh, thanks.
Almost done here.

93
00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:19,126
Take your time.

94
00:04:19,159 --> 00:04:21,161
Important thing is...

95
00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:24,965
Oh, no.

96
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:26,434
Guess what.

97
00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:28,336
A black family's moving in
right across the street

98
00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:30,571
the same day my security
cameras are going up.

99
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:31,939
Well, what am I
supposed to do?

100
00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:33,441
I made the appointment
weeks ago

101
00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:35,343
right after the break-in
down the street.

102
00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:37,778
But they'll think I made
the call the minute I saw them

103
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:39,447
because
I'm a racist old man.

104
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,015
Why would the neighbors just
assume that you're a racist?

105
00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:43,817
Gloria, Gloria, Gloria.

106
00:04:43,851 --> 00:04:47,655
You'll never understand the
stereotypes old white men face.

107
00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:49,957
Goal!

108
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:51,291
Nice shot, Tom.

109
00:04:51,325 --> 00:04:52,860
Do you want to play with us?

110
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:54,462
You know, I'm off
contact sports right now.

111
00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:56,263
I twisted my ankle
playing running charades,

112
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,799
but you two should get ready
for dance class.

113
00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:00,968
Okay, go.
Go, go, go!

114
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:03,337
-Hi.
-Hi.

115
00:05:04,572 --> 00:05:06,340
Okay, why do you
look so satisfied?

116
00:05:06,374 --> 00:05:07,675
Did you just listen
to an NPR story

117
00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:08,275
that proved you right
about something?

118
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,378
No, no, but you know Tom,

119
00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:11,579
the friend
that Lily's playing with?

120
00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:13,113
Well, I know of him. We haven't
formally been introduced.

121
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:18,552
Well, it turns out that Tom
used to identify as...Tina.

122
00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:20,621
Oh, I wish
you wouldn't have told me.

123
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:23,156
You know how proud I am
of my gender identificadar.

124
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:25,493
Well, Tom's been having
some problems at school,

125
00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:27,961
and -- and Lily has been
really respectful of him.

126
00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:29,863
Oh, she is so sweet.

127
00:05:29,897 --> 00:05:30,698
She really is.

128
00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:32,866
She gets all the credit
on this one.

129
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,568
Uh-huh.

130
00:05:34,602 --> 00:05:37,237
This so doesn't matter.

131
00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:39,006
We raised her
to have an open mind.

132
00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:41,509
Totally.
We deserve some kudos here, too.

133
00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:43,010
There's enough kudos
for everyone.

134
00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:43,977
You know, a kudo would be
an excellent name

135
00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,078
for a parenting award.

136
00:05:45,112 --> 00:05:47,047
Oh, thank you, Gwyneth.

137
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:52,052
Lily, if you're still watching,
go to bed.

138
00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:54,121
Get out of here, you weirdo!

139
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,197
Part of being the boss
is being a bummer.

140
00:06:09,737 --> 00:06:13,340
It was hard at first,
but I've learned to accept it...

141
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:14,708
mostly.

142
00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:18,178
It's really been -- Oh.

143
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:20,548
Margaret,
you knew I was in here.

144
00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:22,115
Sorry.
I just had some messages.

145
00:06:22,149 --> 00:06:24,785
Uh-huh.
Luke's guidance counselor --

146
00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:26,053
Luke fell asleep
in class again.

147
00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:28,922
Haley's car payment is late.

148
00:06:28,956 --> 00:06:30,390
And the credit-card company.

149
00:06:30,424 --> 00:06:31,358
Phil made a large purchase

150
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:36,129
on a Tibetan website
called CopingCandles.com.

151
00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:36,930
Tell the creative team
to get their giggles out.

152
00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:39,299
I'll be ready for them
in 10.

153
00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:41,735
But when you've been the bummer
all day at work,

154
00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:45,105
you don't love having to be
the bummer at home, too.

155
00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:47,140
Hi, honey. Is your brother
around? I need to yell at him.

156
00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:49,142
Of course he's around.

157
00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:50,611
Why would
he leave me in peace

158
00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:52,112
to do some work
at the kitchen table

159
00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:53,747
when he could
just barge in and --

160
00:06:53,781 --> 00:06:55,115
Luke! Game down!

161
00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:56,416
This is your senior year,

162
00:06:56,450 --> 00:06:58,318
also known
as your last year to not suck.

163
00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:01,455
Honey.
Dad, you hit
"place order" once,

164
00:07:01,489 --> 00:07:03,156
and then you wait
for the confirmation.

165
00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:05,325
I'm sorry.
Don't be sorry! Be smart!

166
00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:06,994
That angry screeching

167
00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:08,996
was the sweet sound
of my new home bummer.

168
00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:12,099
I'm just so tired
and in pain and irritable.

169
00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:14,301
It just makes me so mad
at everyone.

170
00:07:14,334 --> 00:07:16,837
Sorry for yelling, Mom.
Why were you calling again?

171
00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:18,639
I forgot.

172
00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:21,475
Damn it, Mom!
Write it down next time!

173
00:07:21,509 --> 00:07:24,845
All right.

174
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:26,614
Here we are.

175
00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:28,982
Okay. Don't forget to give
Funkmaster Linda her check

176
00:07:29,016 --> 00:07:30,317
for today's class.

177
00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:31,819
Bye, Tom.
Bye, Tom.

178
00:07:31,852 --> 00:07:33,687
Hey, Lily.
Can you hang back a second?

179
00:07:33,721 --> 00:07:36,624
I shouldn't. Linda says
being late is wiggity-wack.

180
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:39,026
We just want to know
why you called Tom a weirdo

181
00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:40,327
back at the house.

182
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:41,428
I don't know.

183
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:42,630
Okay, well,
we don't make fun

184
00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:43,731
of people
who are different, okay?

185
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:46,033
You know how hard it was
for Daddy and me?
Yeah.

186
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:47,034
Growing up in Missouri,
I was so mistreated

187
00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:49,436
that one of my best friends
was an old scarecrow

188
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:50,604
I found in the creek.

189
00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:52,105
Some of your stories
would be more impactful

190
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:53,273
with fewer details.

191
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,275
Fine. I won't do it again.
Can I go now?

192
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,711
Okay, but -- but
do you understand why
what you did is wrong?

193
00:07:57,745 --> 00:07:59,179
Yes!

194
00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:01,481
Well, this bothers me.

195
00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:03,283
They're getting along great,
and then one little spat,

196
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,485
and her instinct
is to go all baby bigot on him?

197
00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:07,120
Well --
and I say this with love --

198
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:10,290
she did just get back
from spending a full summer

199
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,626
with your family
in Missouri.

200
00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:14,895
Oh. So we're blaming
my family, then?

201
00:08:14,928 --> 00:08:17,397
I'm -- I'm just saying maybe
when she gets back from there,

202
00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:19,066
she needs to be reminded
of our values.

203
00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:19,967
You know -- un-hick her.

204
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,903
Oh, the H-bomb!

205
00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:24,638
Possibly
the most offensive slur

206
00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:26,206
ever thrown around
in the South.

207
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:27,875
Well...y--

208
00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:29,476
Look,
I-I love those people, too,

209
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:30,678
but you did just admit

210
00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:32,312
they can be a little
close-minded down there.

211
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,381
Well, they are a little bit
set in their ways.

212
00:08:34,414 --> 00:08:36,516
It was actually illegal to run
for mayor without a mustache

213
00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:37,450
until 1980.
See? It's --

214
00:08:37,484 --> 00:08:40,287
And then again
from '82 to '85.
Okay.

215
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:43,056
Input.

216
00:08:43,090 --> 00:08:45,593
Input!

217
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:47,895
Please don't throw
the remote again.

218
00:08:47,928 --> 00:08:50,698
Oh, I was just, like,
trying to get signal.

219
00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:53,834
Don't blame me about
breaking the other ones.

220
00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,002
One got stepped on,

221
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:57,905
and the other one
fell down the garbage disposal.

222
00:08:57,938 --> 00:08:59,006
You're not even trying.

223
00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:01,408
Anyways, stop worrying
about the remote control

224
00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:02,075
and worry
about your own dog.

225
00:09:02,109 --> 00:09:04,612
She's peeing in the corner.

226
00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:06,046
Maybe if you ever
leave her outside,

227
00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:09,082
she will guard us,
and we wouldn't need cameras.

228
00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:11,084
First of all, Stella's
not peeing in the corner,

229
00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:12,419
because I housebroke her
myself.

230
00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:15,689
Second of all, no dog of mine
should ever have to work.

231
00:09:15,723 --> 00:09:17,424
There he is.
There's my old pal.

232
00:09:17,457 --> 00:09:18,792
Jay.
How you doing, huh?

233
00:09:18,826 --> 00:09:20,460
I'm so glad you called.

234
00:09:20,493 --> 00:09:22,963
I haven't been good about seeing
people since Reynetta left.

235
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:24,898
Did you hear?
She started dating my brother!

236
00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:26,934
Listen, it's such a nice day.
Let's go outside.

237
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:29,269
Isn't your backyard nicer?

238
00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:30,037
Nah.
It's all pool and chairs.

239
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,572
So, how you been, buddy?

240
00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:35,142
I want to tell you everything
is okay so you won't worry,

241
00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:37,745
but things have been
real bad.
You know what might help?

242
00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:39,713
You pop that hat off, you get
a little sun on your face.

243
00:09:39,747 --> 00:09:42,315
Ooh!
The sun is rough on my eyes.

244
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:45,285
I cry almost every day.

245
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:47,154
Pretty much, the only time I'm
happy is when I clean my gun.

246
00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:49,156
Yeah, life, huh?
Here, give me a hug.

247
00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:50,323
There you go.
Oh.

248
00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:52,726
There you go.
You're a good friend, Jay.

249
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:55,062
You got your own problems,
but you're right there for me.

250
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,297
Damn it!

251
00:09:57,330 --> 00:10:00,100
Why do you need them to know
you have a black friend?

252
00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:02,402
I'm putting security cameras in
the same day they move in.

253
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,938
I'm mad about that,
but it feels good to be held.

254
00:10:04,972 --> 00:10:05,906
Come here.

255
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:08,275
Come here.

256
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:12,612
Flashbacks,
nightmares, anxiety --

257
00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:14,281
My imprisonment in the closet

258
00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:16,950
resulted in all the symptoms
of PTSD.

259
00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:26,960
My insurance company
helped me to find a therapy dog

260
00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:28,495
and agreed to cover everything,

261
00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:31,198
and then they found out
I wasn't in the military.

262
00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:41,174
Oh, boy.

263
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:50,017
Hey, Alex, honey, could you
help me reset the router?!

264
00:10:56,223 --> 00:10:58,859
Oh! No.

265
00:11:06,734 --> 00:11:10,037
Bad luck!
Bad luck!!

266
00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:16,076
Alex's laptop
had every piece of homework

267
00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:18,545
she ever did in high school.

268
00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:20,147
It was the Holy Grail...

269
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,849
I think.

270
00:11:21,882 --> 00:11:23,316
Thanks to Alex's hard work,

271
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:26,053
I don't know what that is
and never will.

272
00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:31,258
Not again!

273
00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:34,527
Oh, Dad,
I didn't know you were home.

274
00:11:34,561 --> 00:11:35,362
Haley, thank God.

275
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:37,064
Could you reset
the router for me?

276
00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:39,566
I would, but I took
a late lunch from work,

277
00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:40,934
which I have
to get back to work.

278
00:11:40,968 --> 00:11:42,169
Are you okay?
I'm fine.

279
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:44,004
I think I'm just
hyperventilating.

280
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:47,941
Should pass in
like 20 minutes or s-so.

281
00:11:47,975 --> 00:11:50,710
Okay, well,
I'm gonna head back.

282
00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:51,945
Wouldn't want
to be consistently late

283
00:11:51,979 --> 00:11:54,281
and get fired, right?

284
00:11:56,449 --> 00:11:58,085
Alex, honey.

285
00:12:03,891 --> 00:12:05,058
Good girl.

286
00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:07,694
Good girl.

287
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,696
Input!
I know you can hear me

288
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,264
because I can see
your green light!

289
00:12:11,298 --> 00:12:12,900
It's like one of those videos
where the pit bull

290
00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:14,101
swims with the baby chick.

291
00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:16,436
You just know
something bad's gonna happen.

292
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:18,872
Where are your keys?
I need the jumper cables.

293
00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:21,408
What happened?
I spent the last hour
in my car,

294
00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:23,043
listening to the Commodores
with my windows down,

295
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:24,945
and the neighbors
didn't even come outside.

296
00:12:27,614 --> 00:12:31,118
That must be your good friends
the Harlem Globetrotters.

297
00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:33,120
-Hey.
-Hey!

298
00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:34,587
Gloria invited us
to sit by the pool

299
00:12:34,621 --> 00:12:36,289
till we have
to pick up Lily at hip-hop.

300
00:12:36,323 --> 00:12:38,826
My Asian granddaughter
takes a hip-hop class?

301
00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:41,161
Why are we not talking
about this in the front yard?

302
00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:42,796
We brought cupcakes.
Manny, cupcake?

303
00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:45,132
Oh, I see. Fill my mouth
with bourgie opiates

304
00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:47,634
so I can't speak
for the people?
That was a lot.

305
00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:50,303
He's trying to get
a Communist girl to kiss him.

306
00:12:50,337 --> 00:12:51,771
We have
our own kid problems.

307
00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:53,740
I mean, we had
an incident this afternoon

308
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,809
during Lily's playdate
with Tom,

309
00:12:55,843 --> 00:12:56,977
who used to identify as...
Tina.

310
00:12:57,010 --> 00:13:00,180
I don't totally get
the hand thing, but I like it.

311
00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:03,316
They had a fight, and Lily
said the worst possible thing.

312
00:13:03,350 --> 00:13:04,952
I mean, that poor boy's
been through enough.
Mm.

313
00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:08,822
Oh, I am sure that the parents
have gone through a lot, too.

314
00:13:08,856 --> 00:13:10,357
Sure.
You just don't get comfortable

315
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:11,959
with something like that
overnight.

316
00:13:11,992 --> 00:13:14,027
Let me ask
you guys something.

317
00:13:14,061 --> 00:13:17,364
If, someday,
Lily wanted to be Lou

318
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:20,000
and had the whole
chop-chop, bing-bang thing,

319
00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:21,368
how would you be with that?

320
00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:23,303
We love Lily.
Lou.

321
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:24,437
We love Lou.
Mm-hmm.

322
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:25,973
And there's nothing
she could do --
He.

323
00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:28,008
He.
There's nothing he could do
that would change that.

324
00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:32,045
So you wouldn't even need the
minute that Tom's parents did?

325
00:13:32,079 --> 00:13:34,347
Well, no, no.
Maybe a minute.

326
00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:35,782
I mean, there'd -- there'd be
a lot of things

327
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:37,550
that I'd be giving up
that I've always imagined doing,

328
00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:39,152
like -- like walking her down
the aisle in her wedding dress.

329
00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:41,454
You know?
Or whispering
in her husband's ear

330
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:42,622
that he'll never replace me.

331
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:43,957
Well, that's interesting,
because the minute it took me

332
00:13:43,991 --> 00:13:46,659
to accept the fact
that my son

333
00:13:46,693 --> 00:13:49,629
was living a different
kind of life than the one
that I anticipated,

334
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:52,732
Mitchell called me
an old, straight, white bigot.

335
00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:57,670
And now
you're just like me.

336
00:13:57,704 --> 00:13:59,372
Oh, my God, Mitchell.
Are we where Lily gets it?

337
00:13:59,406 --> 00:14:01,074
Are we not as open-minded
as we think?

338
00:14:01,108 --> 00:14:03,643
But that's our thing -- lording
our tolerance over others.

339
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:05,212
I guess what this proves is,

340
00:14:05,245 --> 00:14:07,080
there's a little bit
of prejudice in everyone --

341
00:14:07,114 --> 00:14:08,181
you, me,

342
00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:09,582
the neighbor
across the street

343
00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:10,750
judging me for my cameras.

344
00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:12,819
I'm gonna do what I should
have done at the beginning --

345
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,387
talk to them.
That's not a good idea.

346
00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:15,355
Watch me!

347
00:14:17,424 --> 00:14:19,993
Joe, you're not going
to live outside!

348
00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:22,229
Fine!

349
00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:37,177
Alex is never away
from her laptop,

350
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:39,546
so I had to steal assignments
one at a time.

351
00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:41,548
I'm not proud of stealing,

352
00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:44,284
but I'm not unproud
of how I'm stealing.

353
00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:56,930
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry,

354
00:14:56,964 --> 00:15:00,767
but now that you're awake,
what happened in here, huh?

355
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,203
I'll tell you
what happened here --

356
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:06,940
the same thing that's been
happening all damn day!

357
00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:09,943
Me dealing with animals
who don't care

358
00:15:09,977 --> 00:15:12,579
that we are air-conditioning
the outside

359
00:15:12,612 --> 00:15:14,481
and insist
on rotting their brains

360
00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:17,917
by watching vapid housewives
spit wine on each other.

361
00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:22,589
And you. Can't even be bothered
to use a plate!

362
00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:26,459
Oh, she's a bummer, huh?

363
00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:30,130
Something funny?

364
00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:31,464
No.

365
00:15:31,498 --> 00:15:33,333
What are you
even doing home?

366
00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:35,135
Don't you cat-sit for your boss
on Tuesday nights?

367
00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:36,769
Uhhhhhh...

368
00:15:36,803 --> 00:15:38,805
Alex, maybe you'd feel better
if we went for a walk

369
00:15:38,838 --> 00:15:40,573
or a ride in the car, huh?
Go for a ride in the car!

370
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:43,076
You know what? There are
just too many distractions here.

371
00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:45,612
I don't care how sick I am.
I have to go back to college.

372
00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:46,779
No!
No!
No!

373
00:15:46,813 --> 00:15:49,582
-No, no, no, no, no.
-Of course you do!

374
00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:50,783
Was I the kind of person

375
00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:52,685
who would send her sick sister
back to school

376
00:15:52,719 --> 00:15:55,688
just to keep her
from figuring out I got fired?

377
00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:58,025
Did I use her laptop to get
through community college?

378
00:15:58,058 --> 00:16:01,694
Let's get you back there.
It's Friday night.

379
00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:03,730
Maybe there's a party
you can listen to.

380
00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:09,036
Excuse me.
I don't mean to bug you.
Hello.

381
00:16:09,069 --> 00:16:12,139
You're just moving in.
I'm right across the street.

382
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:13,673
Listen.
Let me stop you.

383
00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:15,208
You had
the cameras scheduled,

384
00:16:15,242 --> 00:16:16,876
worried about
how it would look,

385
00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:19,879
brought your black friend out,
blasted Commodores.

386
00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:20,880
It's not my first time

387
00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:23,816
moving into
a white neighborhood.

388
00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:25,118
We're good.
Yeah?

389
00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:28,055
I did my residency
in New Hampshire.

390
00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:31,558
All right. Listen, you guys
need anything, let me know.

391
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:34,227
You got it.
I'm Shawn, by the way.

392
00:16:34,261 --> 00:16:35,528
-Jay Pritchett.
-Jay.

393
00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:38,031
It's okay, Gloria.
All handled.

394
00:16:38,065 --> 00:16:39,499
This is my wife, Gloria.

395
00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:41,568
This is Shawn --
and I want to get this right,

396
00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:45,305
beautiful African name --
Shawn M'badawe.

397
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:49,542
I said, "By the way."

398
00:16:49,576 --> 00:16:53,246
Ah.

399
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:55,148
Hey, Lily.
We need to talk.

400
00:16:55,182 --> 00:16:57,084
I was actually
just heading out.

401
00:16:57,117 --> 00:16:59,086
No.
Sit down, please.

402
00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:02,822
Look, it was wrong of you
to be mean to Tom, okay?

403
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,591
Even though Daddy and I

404
00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:06,493
aren't always as open-minded
as we should be,

405
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,661
we -- we want you
to be better than us.

406
00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:10,230
O-kay.

407
00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:12,765
No. Listen.
We accept people

408
00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:14,101
for who they are.

409
00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:16,669
Daddy and I would accept you
no matter what --

410
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,105
boy, girl, gay, straight...

411
00:17:18,138 --> 00:17:21,341
though, if you're a lesbian,
please be the fun kind.

412
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,042
I didn't yell at Tom
because he used to be Tina.

413
00:17:23,076 --> 00:17:26,079
What?
I yelled at him
'cause he made fun of...

414
00:17:26,113 --> 00:17:29,282
Made fun of what?

415
00:17:29,316 --> 00:17:31,851
What's --
What's to make fun of?
Oh, thank God.

416
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:34,387
He called you guys weirdos
for putting that painting up,

417
00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:35,222
so I called him a weirdo.

418
00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:36,923
Well, honey,
why didn't you tell us?

419
00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:39,792
'Cause I didn't want
your feelings to get hurt.

420
00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:40,793
Get hurt? How?

421
00:17:40,827 --> 00:17:43,130
Because that rube Tom
knows nothing about art?

422
00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:44,097
Cam, she was protecting us.

423
00:17:44,131 --> 00:17:46,766
But you don't have to,
sweetie, okay?

424
00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:48,301
Don't feel like
you can't be honest with us

425
00:17:48,335 --> 00:17:48,935
just to protect
our feelings.

426
00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:51,304
Really?
Really.

427
00:17:51,338 --> 00:17:53,306
Hey, you can tell us
anything.

428
00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:54,774
Okay.

429
00:17:54,807 --> 00:17:57,777
I hate the painting, too.

430
00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:04,117
It was hard for us to hear,
but in the spirit of tolerance,

431
00:18:04,151 --> 00:18:06,052
we accepted the fact
that a 9-year-old

432
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,120
might not want
to fall asleep

433
00:18:07,154 --> 00:18:10,390
under the watchful eyes
of her half-naked fathers.

434
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:13,760
Call the Sistine Chapel.
I guess art is out.

435
00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:16,095
So, do you hate the whole idea
of murals, or just --

436
00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:18,798
Roll!

437
00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:22,369
It's going to be so exciting

438
00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:24,771
to get back to
all that science stuff again.

439
00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:27,307
You know -- beakers,
calculators, ray guns.

440
00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:28,608
Alex, are you sure
you don't want

441
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:30,777
to spend a few more days here
to recover?

442
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:32,812
You can sleep on the end
of our bed if you want to.

443
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:35,648
-Yeah, stay, Alex.
-Sleeping does sound good.

444
00:18:35,682 --> 00:18:36,749
Doesn't it?

445
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:39,152
But, first, how about
you take a nice, hot shower?

446
00:18:39,186 --> 00:18:41,954
I just hope that big pile
of wet towels isn't on the floor

447
00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:43,022
like it was this morning.

448
00:18:43,055 --> 00:18:45,758
Aww, you guys
are so sweet.

449
00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:47,093
No, but what -- what about
all the science stuff?

450
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:50,129
All the fun. You know --
snapping each other in the butts

451
00:18:50,163 --> 00:18:50,997
with your goggle straps.
You know what?

452
00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:53,166
Staying here a few more days

453
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:55,368
may help me kick this sickness
a little faster.

454
00:18:55,402 --> 00:18:56,269
There you go.
Wait a second.

455
00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:59,105
I thought
I already packed my laptop.

456
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:00,707
Why is it
on the hallway table?

457
00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:01,941
Uh, why is
anything anywhere?

458
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:04,644
Why aren't our feet
at the end of our arms?

459
00:19:04,677 --> 00:19:07,480
Who opened my 12th-grade
Grapes of Wrath essay?

460
00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:08,681
Uh...

461
00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:10,683
Oh, my God.
You just want me to stay here

462
00:19:10,717 --> 00:19:12,385
so you can steal
all of my old homework.

463
00:19:12,419 --> 00:19:13,220
Wow. I can't wait
to hear what you have

464
00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:15,121
to say about
this lapse in judgment.

465
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,155
Hey, it's better
than what Mom's doing.

466
00:19:16,189 --> 00:19:18,858
She's just using you
to yell at us.

467
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:20,327
I would nip that back talk
in the bud.

468
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:22,195
I can't believe it.
He's right!

469
00:19:22,229 --> 00:19:23,730
Honey,
you're getting upset again.

470
00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:25,131
Come on.
Let's go get a treat.

471
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,634
Stop with the petting
and -- and the walks.

472
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,302
You're using me
as a therapy dog.

473
00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:30,169
That's ridiculi--

474
00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:32,205
Am I?

475
00:19:32,239 --> 00:19:34,241
Well...what about
what Luke's doing?

476
00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:35,575
We just dealt with him.

477
00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:36,676
And, Haley...

478
00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:40,980
you are the only one
who really cares about me.

479
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:43,716
That's it!
I'm going back to school.

480
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:44,351
I will drive you, sweetie.

481
00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:47,053
Alex, no.
Stop! Stay!

482
00:19:47,086 --> 00:19:48,855
How do you ask a human
not to go, again?

483
00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:49,989
-Alex, wait!
-Right.

484
00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:53,493
We're still leaving.
She's just catching her breath.

485
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:55,027
Come on.
I feel so bad.
I had no idea what I was doing.

486
00:19:55,061 --> 00:19:58,431
I feel worse. I really,
really knew what I was doing.

487
00:19:58,465 --> 00:20:00,032
Our poor sick daughter.
We should be taking care of her.

488
00:20:00,066 --> 00:20:02,402
So, is knowing all this
enough,

489
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:04,404
or do we have to, like,
do something?

490
00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:06,506
Breaks my heart.

491
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:09,442
I should quit my job
and nurse her back to health.

492
00:20:09,476 --> 00:20:11,444
You got fired,
didn't you?

493
00:20:11,478 --> 00:20:13,045
Alex had to take
the semester off.

494
00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:15,114
I was disappointed
'cause she was disappointed,

495
00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:19,051
but I was also kind of happy to
have her home a little longer.

496
00:20:19,085 --> 00:20:21,120
Aww.
Mask!

497
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:24,691
Cam?

498
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,459
Oh, I just wanted
to tell her how proud I was

499
00:20:26,493 --> 00:20:28,094
of how
she handled herself today,

500
00:20:28,127 --> 00:20:30,263
but she's already asleep.
Well, you can tell her
in the morning, okay?

501
00:20:30,297 --> 00:20:32,565
Oh, by the way,
I found an article online

502
00:20:32,599 --> 00:20:34,534
about a family
of Montenegrin art restorers --

503
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,202
Let it go, babe.
Come on. Come on.

504
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:38,471
Oh, Cam.

505
00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:41,774
Look what she did.

506
00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:50,950
Jay, what are you doing?
Come to bed.

507
00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:53,119
I've got these new
state-of-the-art cameras.

508
00:20:53,152 --> 00:20:54,621
I thought I'd review the day,

509
00:20:54,654 --> 00:20:56,723
see how many times
our neighbor glared at us.

510
00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:58,458
Wait a second.

511
00:20:58,491 --> 00:21:01,928
Is that Manny licking cupcake
wrappers from the trash?

512
00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:03,563
I knew he'd fold.

513
00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:04,964
Ah, the vigor.
It's almost pornographic.

514
00:21:04,997 --> 00:21:07,767
Are these cameras everywhere?

515
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,135
Yeah.
That's the garbage area.

516
00:21:09,168 --> 00:21:10,903
Then we got the backyard,
front door.

517
00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:14,106
Go inside. Wait.

518
00:21:14,140 --> 00:21:15,942
That's Joe peeing
in the corner, not Stella.

519
00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:17,977
That's it.
He lives outside now.

520
00:21:18,010 --> 00:21:20,580
Come. We'll watch him
from the cameras.

521
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:21,681
Hold on.

522
00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:25,352
You have a problem.

523
00:21:25,385 --> 00:21:27,286
I'm gonna get you
one of those rubber remotes

524
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:29,856
they put in nursery schools
and insane asylums.

525
00:21:29,889 --> 00:21:31,023
Thank you.

526
00:21:31,057 --> 00:21:33,192
-- Captions by VITA --