1 00:00:03,704 --> 00:00:05,239 I'm so glad you like the house! Hey, so a few things -- 2 00:00:05,273 --> 00:00:07,341 One, all the appliances are included, 3 00:00:07,375 --> 00:00:09,177 two, the previous residents were murdered there, 4 00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:11,512 and three, it just passed mold inspection. 5 00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:13,414 So, when should we -- 6 00:00:13,447 --> 00:00:16,084 Uh-huh. Yeah. I get it. 7 00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:17,718 Well, we'll -- we'll just keep looking. 8 00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:19,887 Although it does give the house character. 9 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:21,889 If those walls could talk. 10 00:00:21,922 --> 00:00:24,758 I agree. It's not funny. Bye-bye. 11 00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:26,427 It's okay, honey. You're gonna sell that murder house. 12 00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:27,895 Thanks. 13 00:00:27,928 --> 00:00:29,763 "Ahh, Get this blood off me!" 14 00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:31,632 What? Wh-- Off who? 15 00:00:36,304 --> 00:00:37,971 You mean Barb and Thad Wall? Are they in trouble? 16 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,388 Morning. 17 00:00:54,422 --> 00:00:56,924 Oh, would you like some coffee? 18 00:00:56,957 --> 00:00:59,460 God, no. I've been up all night. I got to get to bed. 19 00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:01,929 Hey, can you guys not use, like, the blender 20 00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:03,297 or vacuum or anything? 21 00:01:03,331 --> 00:01:05,032 I just need five hours. 22 00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,401 So, I guess we've stopped looking for a new job? 23 00:01:07,435 --> 00:01:09,237 Actually, we have. 24 00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:11,372 Your daughter has gone into business for herself. 25 00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:13,807 Great. What kind of business? 26 00:01:13,841 --> 00:01:15,476 I put a group of girls together, 27 00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:17,711 and we promote clubs and stuff via social media. 28 00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:19,813 That doesn't sound like a real job. 29 00:01:19,847 --> 00:01:22,450 Your last job barely sounded like a real job. 30 00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:25,286 We made $500 last night for promoting a hookah bar. 31 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:27,455 I remember when you were a little girl. 32 00:01:27,488 --> 00:01:30,958 You told me you wanted your job to be "princess." 33 00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:32,693 I would kill for those days. 34 00:01:33,861 --> 00:01:36,164 "Is that why you're dressed like a hookah?" 35 00:01:36,197 --> 00:01:37,465 Honey, you're not making sense again. 36 00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:38,566 Do you need to lie down? 37 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,668 Mom, I knew you would be like this. 38 00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:43,070 Dad, you understand what I'm doing, right? 39 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,838 Of course. Power of social media. 40 00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:46,106 I'm on "Team Gets It." 41 00:01:46,140 --> 00:01:47,441 Can you guys just give me a chance 42 00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:48,809 to get this thing off the ground? 43 00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:50,678 Yes. We can. 44 00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:52,112 I always keep an open mind. 45 00:01:52,146 --> 00:01:54,348 Fine. You take this one. My plate's full. 46 00:01:54,382 --> 00:01:55,783 I've got a meeting at school today 47 00:01:55,816 --> 00:01:58,352 to discuss Luke's college options. 48 00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:02,456 Should be a short meeting. 49 00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:07,561 -- Captions by VITAC -- 50 00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:15,903 ** 51 00:02:19,072 --> 00:02:19,973 Throw it, baby! Throw it! 52 00:02:20,007 --> 00:02:21,209 Yes! 53 00:02:21,242 --> 00:02:22,510 Dwight, that's the way you read the reverse. 54 00:02:22,543 --> 00:02:24,545 Gentlemen, circle up! 55 00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:27,648 We are 3-0, but if we're gonna go all the way, 56 00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:32,853 we all need to be as mentally and physically tough as Dwight. 57 00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:34,455 Coach? Yes? 58 00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:35,556 You know my dad's in the service? 59 00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:36,890 Uh-huh. 60 00:02:36,924 --> 00:02:38,626 He's being restationed to Florida. 61 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:39,627 What? 62 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,295 Today's my last day. 63 00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:42,663 Okay, uh... 64 00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:44,665 everybody get some water. 65 00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:46,600 Coach, you okay? Mm-hmm. Yeah. 66 00:02:47,735 --> 00:02:49,136 Welcome, welcome! 67 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,672 Hello! Shall we start? 68 00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:53,474 Shouldn't we wait for Luke's guidance counselor? 69 00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,309 Mrs. Marks is going through a terrible divorce. 70 00:02:55,343 --> 00:02:56,877 She's very fragile right now. Oh. 71 00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:59,146 So I'm trying to keep the more challenging cases away from her. 72 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,714 None taken. 73 00:03:00,748 --> 00:03:03,317 I have been perusing your transcript. 74 00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:05,386 And, uh, apropos of nothing -- 75 00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:07,555 You know, not every kid is destined for college. 76 00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:09,523 But Luke is, right? 77 00:03:09,557 --> 00:03:11,225 Okay, I'll play along. 78 00:03:11,259 --> 00:03:13,527 The reality is that Luke's grades and test scores 79 00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:16,597 are what we educators call suboptimal. 80 00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:17,698 Is that good? 81 00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:18,766 See what I'm talking about? 82 00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:20,268 So, we're gonna have to really juice 83 00:03:20,301 --> 00:03:22,836 the extracurriculars, okay? 84 00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:25,373 Is there anything he's, uh, passionate about? 85 00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:27,074 I love chicken pot pie. 86 00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:29,277 Remember when I said I would do most of the talking? 87 00:03:29,310 --> 00:03:30,578 Principal Brown! 88 00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:32,513 Leslie Kwan Collins from The Daily Dolphin. 89 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,047 Yeah. I know who you are, Leslie. 90 00:03:34,081 --> 00:03:36,450 Must we do this dance every single time? 91 00:03:36,484 --> 00:03:38,686 Would you like to issue a statement about Eric Thompson's 92 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:41,121 abrupt resignation as Student Council President? 93 00:03:41,154 --> 00:03:43,391 Sure. Here's my statement -- Pbht! 94 00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:45,293 My sources say that he was caught selling 95 00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:47,395 school saxophones on craigslist. 96 00:03:47,428 --> 00:03:49,963 Well, guess you could say you had a "sax" scandal, then. 97 00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:51,532 A sax scandal -- I'm running with that. 98 00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,767 Oh, thanks a lot for that. Very helpful. 99 00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:55,369 So, where did we land? 100 00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:57,738 We're putting Luke on Adderall or taking him off? I forget. 101 00:03:57,771 --> 00:04:00,073 We weren't discussing Adderall. 102 00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:03,777 Although, Adderall has helped a lot of kids. 103 00:04:03,811 --> 00:04:06,447 Hey, we need a new president. Why don't I just do that? 104 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:07,748 Maybe it'll be cool. 105 00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:09,983 I do like bossing people around. 106 00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:11,485 That's called leadership. 107 00:04:11,519 --> 00:04:13,253 Wow, look at you. 108 00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:14,622 I think I'm maturing. 109 00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:16,624 Luke, this is a lot of work. 110 00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:17,925 Are you sure you're up for it? 111 00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:19,393 Mom, it's all I've ever wanted 112 00:04:19,427 --> 00:04:21,161 since I heard about it a minute ago. 113 00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:24,765 Yeah. Well, I think you should go for it. 114 00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:26,867 I can't think of a single reason why not. 115 00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:30,338 All right, girls. 116 00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:33,106 So, I have a couple notes about last night. 117 00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:34,575 Arizona, I was looking at your selfies. 118 00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:36,344 Are your parents mallards? What? 119 00:04:36,377 --> 00:04:37,945 What's with all the duckface? 120 00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,813 You look like you're at a bachelorette party in Tampa. 121 00:04:39,847 --> 00:04:41,315 And, Katen, did I see you drinking a water 122 00:04:41,349 --> 00:04:42,450 at The Red Room? 123 00:04:42,483 --> 00:04:44,251 I had to wake up early in the morning. 124 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:46,253 Oh, yes, because that's what we're promoting -- 125 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,422 a club where people make good decisions. 126 00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:49,690 I'm sorry! 127 00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:51,625 You are so weak. 128 00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:53,994 I can't believe I let you kiss me in front of the Lakers. 129 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,465 Not to sound like a total Katen, 130 00:04:57,498 --> 00:05:00,167 but Haley's new job seems whack. 131 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:01,935 If Haley wants to work in promotion, 132 00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:06,173 she should learn from my guy -- Mr. Merv Schechter. 133 00:05:06,206 --> 00:05:07,841 Among his brilliant innovations -- 134 00:05:07,875 --> 00:05:11,278 the indoor blimp that drops coupons at basketball games. 135 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,046 Sadly, it was later weaponized 136 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:15,849 by several terrorist organizations. 137 00:05:15,883 --> 00:05:19,319 Hey, Jay, do you need to julienne any vegetables? 138 00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:20,888 What? If so, you can use the knife 139 00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:22,222 your grandson jammed in my back. 140 00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:23,791 Well, that was worth the journey. 141 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,158 What happened, papi? 142 00:05:25,192 --> 00:05:26,193 Luke decided to run against me 143 00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:27,828 for Student Council President. 144 00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:30,297 I've devoted my entire life to public service, 145 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:33,233 only to be challenged by a guy who's devoted his entire life 146 00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:35,135 to watching skateboard fails on YouTube. 147 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:36,303 Luke's running for President? 148 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,371 I mean, I love him, but -- 149 00:05:37,405 --> 00:05:38,972 Jay is right. Luke is a dummy. 150 00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,140 Never said that. 151 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:42,175 He wants a fight, he's got one. 152 00:05:42,209 --> 00:05:43,844 I'm going to hit my step-nephew 153 00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:45,312 with so many stinging rejoinders 154 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:46,847 that he'll be crying step-uncle. 155 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,149 Yes! Dynamic wordplay! 156 00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:50,851 High-school kids love that! 157 00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:52,252 He's gonna lose. He might not. 158 00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:53,921 Really, you want to roll those dice? Hmm. 159 00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:56,490 Remember how depressed he got when he lost the last election? 160 00:06:10,738 --> 00:06:12,172 Hi, Daddy. 161 00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:14,675 There she is -- our little girl! 162 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,276 Mitchell, do you remember back before we had her 163 00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:18,512 how we were so worried that an extra person 164 00:06:18,546 --> 00:06:20,180 would make the house feel so crowded? 165 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,750 Uh...no. I don't remember that at all. 166 00:06:22,783 --> 00:06:24,452 Oh, boy, were we wrong. 167 00:06:24,485 --> 00:06:26,119 You didn't want me? This isn't about you, honey. 168 00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:27,588 I think Daddy's ramping up to something. 169 00:06:27,621 --> 00:06:29,723 Anyhoo, there's a football player on the team 170 00:06:29,757 --> 00:06:32,292 who needs a place to stay until the end of football -- 171 00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:34,361 No. No, no, no. 172 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:35,529 Would you let me finish? Okay, fine. Go ahead. 173 00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:37,064 Season. 174 00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:38,432 No. He can't stay here. 175 00:06:38,466 --> 00:06:39,567 Cam, we don't have the room. 176 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:40,901 He can sleep in the den. 177 00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:43,537 I love the den. I watch TV in the den. 178 00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:46,373 Besides, where are you gonna sleep tonight after this fight? 179 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:47,875 He can sleep in the apartment upstairs? 180 00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:49,610 No. We need the rent to pay the mortgage. 181 00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:50,911 I'm sorry, Cam. It's not gonna happen. 182 00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:54,448 Coach, can I come in yet? 183 00:06:54,482 --> 00:06:57,084 See, now you've put me in an awkward position. 184 00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:03,991 Why can't he stay with someone else? 185 00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:05,158 Because I'm his football coach, and his father trusts me. 186 00:07:05,192 --> 00:07:07,327 Cam, why you always -- 187 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,296 Hey! Hey! 188 00:07:09,329 --> 00:07:10,397 Hi. 189 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,299 Hey. 190 00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:14,434 Why do you always insist on making these big decisions 191 00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:16,169 without discussing it with me first? 192 00:07:16,203 --> 00:07:17,437 I do not. You asked that couple 193 00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:19,607 we met at the car-rental counter to vacation with us. 194 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:20,974 It would have been rude not to. 195 00:07:21,008 --> 00:07:22,309 It was our honeymoon. 196 00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:23,243 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 197 00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,078 Sorry, your...doorknob came off. 198 00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:26,914 It sure did, big guy! Again? 199 00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,849 Okay, that's fine. 200 00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:30,150 I'm already hating this. 201 00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:31,919 I don't want to be critical. 202 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,253 You got to be kidding me. 203 00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,454 This is not one of your more loveable traits. 204 00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:36,824 What isn't? Always saying "no" to things 205 00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:37,925 and then eventually coming around. 206 00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:40,828 Why can't we just skip to the good part? 207 00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:42,996 I think you'd have a different attitude about this 208 00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:45,699 if I was the one constantly making unilateral decisions. 209 00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:47,701 If it was something important to you, I would support it. 210 00:07:47,735 --> 00:07:49,102 Oh. Are you sure about that? 211 00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:51,371 100%, and once you get to know Dwight the way... 212 00:07:51,404 --> 00:07:52,840 ...I do, 213 00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:54,207 you will find that he will enrich -- 214 00:07:54,241 --> 00:07:56,844 Okay, Dwight, please stop moving. 215 00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:00,313 Hola, Luke! 216 00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:02,850 Hey, guys. What are you doing in my room? 217 00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:05,152 Just wanted to see my favorite grandson. 218 00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:06,286 You guys been drinking? 219 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,321 No more than usual. 220 00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:10,023 I heard a rumor that you're running 221 00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:11,959 for Student Council President. 222 00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:13,393 Yep. I'm working on my speech right now. 223 00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:14,562 Good. 224 00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:16,797 I know I wouldn't want any part of that nonsense. 225 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,899 Me either -- not very sexy. 226 00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:20,634 It takes so much time and then you wouldn't 227 00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:23,003 even have a chance to ride your mini-bike. 228 00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:24,004 I don't have a mini-bike. 229 00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:25,706 Yet. But if you play ball... 230 00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:26,707 Hey, Luke, 231 00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:28,141 I need you to take the -- 232 00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:29,543 What are you guys doing in here? 233 00:08:29,577 --> 00:08:31,011 They're trying to bribe me not to run for president. 234 00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:32,546 What? 235 00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:34,882 Manny has been working all his life to be president, 236 00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:37,050 and now Luke just salsas in 237 00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:38,518 and tries to take it away from him. 238 00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:39,687 It's not fair. 239 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,689 Look, this means a lot to Luke, too. 240 00:08:41,722 --> 00:08:43,657 It's given him a whole new sense of purpose. 241 00:08:43,691 --> 00:08:46,226 I've heard enough, and I've made my decision. 242 00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:48,161 Manny will be president this term, 243 00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:49,697 and we'll run Luke next year. 244 00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:50,764 I'm graduating. 245 00:08:50,798 --> 00:08:52,700 That's the spirit! 246 00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:53,834 I don't like to play this card, 247 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:56,169 but I am the patriarch, and I have spoken. 248 00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:58,271 Not much of a card, Dad, 'cause I don't really care. 249 00:08:58,305 --> 00:08:59,740 So, how about the two of you get going, 250 00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:01,609 because Luke has a speech to work on? 251 00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:03,410 You want to go up against the Pritchett political machine? 252 00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:05,178 So be it. 253 00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:06,780 Bye, Grandpa! Bye, kiddo! 254 00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:10,517 All right, Luke, we need to talk. 255 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:11,952 Grandpa is coming for you, 256 00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:14,287 and he has run successful political campaigns before. 257 00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:16,223 He got Mitchell elected class president 258 00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:18,458 before it was cool to be gay. 259 00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:21,128 I've got this, Mom. I'm running on a gun platform. 260 00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:22,262 What are you talking about? 261 00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:25,899 I'm talking about... my guns. 262 00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:29,036 Ugh. All right, let's look at the speech. 263 00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,370 I think it's pretty good. Mm-hmm. 264 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,606 I'm opening with a joke about how Principal Brown's kids 265 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:33,974 look like the mailman. 266 00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:35,809 Mm-hmm. And select all, delete. 267 00:09:36,844 --> 00:09:38,612 Hey! I got to be me. 268 00:09:38,646 --> 00:09:41,214 No, you got to be less you. 269 00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:43,751 If you want this, you got to out-Manny Manny. 270 00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:45,819 Oh! Where's that suit I got you for Alex's graduation? 271 00:09:45,853 --> 00:09:46,954 That was a year ago. 272 00:09:46,987 --> 00:09:48,588 I can't fit into that anymore, 273 00:09:48,622 --> 00:09:49,657 because of my gu-- 274 00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:50,691 I know, I got it. 275 00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:55,095 This was full. 276 00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:56,463 Sorry. 277 00:09:56,496 --> 00:09:58,632 You're just gonna be disappointed. 278 00:09:58,666 --> 00:10:00,901 Good morning, everyone. 279 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,170 If you're hungry, I hid some cookies behind the toaster. 280 00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:05,005 I found them. 281 00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:06,173 Oh, I was thinking about 282 00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:08,075 what you said yesterday, and you were right. 283 00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:12,112 We should be able to make our own decisions, you know? 284 00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:15,115 Ay, all I can say is, thank you again. 285 00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:19,086 Dane Edna, say hi to your foster daddies. 286 00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,520 Ronaldo, what's going on? 287 00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:22,022 Oh, we're taking care of Dane Edna 288 00:10:22,055 --> 00:10:24,424 while Ronaldo takes Pepper to Asia for a medical procedure. 289 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:25,458 Is everything okay? 290 00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:26,860 Oh, don't worry. 291 00:10:26,894 --> 00:10:29,797 Between us, he's getting a monkey chin in Laos. 292 00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:31,932 Oh, so it's a fun month for everyone, huh? 293 00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:35,368 Mm, I'm going to miss this beautiful diva. 294 00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:37,437 Her tummy can get a little fussy, 295 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,639 so if you're ever wondering what to cook for her, 296 00:10:39,673 --> 00:10:42,309 just ask yourself, "What would Patti LuPone eat?" 297 00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:44,644 Oh, okay. Oh, and I'm sorry. 298 00:10:44,678 --> 00:10:46,113 I-I didn't ask you about this, 299 00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,347 but it's really important to me. 300 00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:49,717 And you said you'd support any decision I made. 301 00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:52,285 I'm not sure what you're doing, because you're being so subtle, 302 00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:54,554 but if you think a giant, slobbery dog 303 00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:57,891 is what this household needs, then color me gung ho. 304 00:10:57,925 --> 00:10:59,492 Here are her medicines. 305 00:10:59,526 --> 00:11:01,895 The ones wrapped in foil don't go in the mouth. 306 00:11:01,929 --> 00:11:03,330 Okay. 307 00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:04,798 Ah. 308 00:11:04,832 --> 00:11:06,734 Ah, yeah. I'm so sorry. 309 00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:08,969 We've trained her to take carbs away from us. 310 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:09,903 Oh. 311 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,207 I don't get it. 312 00:11:14,241 --> 00:11:16,844 You look amazing. I love it! 313 00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:18,045 Why did you buy this for me? 314 00:11:18,078 --> 00:11:19,546 'Cause I thought you would look great up there 315 00:11:19,579 --> 00:11:21,181 when you give your big speech. 316 00:11:21,214 --> 00:11:23,550 I'm running for president, Mom. I'll wear a suit and tie. 317 00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:24,852 Well, then you'll be dressed for your funeral. 318 00:11:24,885 --> 00:11:26,219 Kid, you got to know your audience. 319 00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:27,888 You don't think I can relate to my peers? 320 00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:29,757 Well, this is a fine kettle of fish. 321 00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:31,224 I'm gonna say this as gently as I know how... 322 00:11:31,258 --> 00:11:32,760 You're going to lose! 323 00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:34,594 Well, I wasn't gonna yell it, but at least it's out there. 324 00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:36,529 Wait. You think I'm going to lose? 325 00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:38,398 But you never think I'm going to lose! 326 00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:39,867 Look, you're a great kid. 327 00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:41,869 All we're saying is be a little more Casual Friday, 328 00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:43,403 a little Ash Wednesday. 329 00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:45,538 Yeah. Go up there and be like, 330 00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:47,941 "Yo! What's up, ballers?!" 331 00:11:47,975 --> 00:11:51,511 "Mondays off. Like, pizza and whatever." 332 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:52,679 This is feeling a little weird. 333 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:53,914 Trust us. 334 00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:56,249 If you really think it'll help. 335 00:11:56,283 --> 00:11:59,753 Hey, write that pizza-pie thing down while it's fresh. 336 00:11:59,787 --> 00:12:01,188 I hope you don't mind. 337 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,190 I decided it was fine if they played fetch in the house. 338 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,425 Not at all. I support that decision. 339 00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:09,596 Well, I look forward to what's about to happen. 340 00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:12,065 Okay. There we are. 341 00:12:12,099 --> 00:12:12,900 Okay. 342 00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:14,868 All right. Nice. 343 00:12:14,902 --> 00:12:16,469 Okay, Coach. I'll meet you at the game. 344 00:12:16,503 --> 00:12:17,704 Yes! Who's a winner? 345 00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:18,571 I'm a winner! Who's a winner?! 346 00:12:18,605 --> 00:12:19,739 I'm a winner!! 347 00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:25,412 Oh, my... 348 00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:27,881 Hey! 349 00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:29,883 Okay. I'm gonna go first. 350 00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:31,418 I was petty and vindictive, 351 00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:33,954 and I will find someone else to look after the dog. 352 00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:37,490 Do you have anything to say? 353 00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:38,992 Thank you. I know that couldn't have been easy. 354 00:12:39,026 --> 00:12:40,593 Cam, I swear to God -- 355 00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:41,761 Okay, okay. You're right. 356 00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:44,331 I should have consulted you first. 357 00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:46,499 I'll tell Dwight that he has to move out after the game tonight. 358 00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:48,268 Thank you. 359 00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:51,471 Not that anybody cares, but for lunch, I had a lozenge. 360 00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:56,910 So, uh, how long is this going to take? 361 00:12:56,944 --> 00:12:59,279 I just need to reorder some promotional Frisbees, 362 00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:00,680 and say a quick hi to Merv, 363 00:13:00,713 --> 00:13:03,150 the genius who supplied me with coasters 364 00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:05,018 and key chains for over a decade. 365 00:13:05,052 --> 00:13:06,954 He even put my face on a pillow. 366 00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:09,189 That story makes me want to put a pillow over my face. 367 00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:11,458 Can we just get this over with? I have a spray tan at 4:00. 368 00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:13,126 Spray tan! Who needs a spray tan? 369 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:14,794 Someone in winter. 370 00:13:14,828 --> 00:13:17,530 That's why you put a coupon on a ice scraper. 371 00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:20,167 Boom! Just sent another grandkid to Brandeis. 372 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,202 He shoots, he scores! 373 00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:24,537 Can you believe this young man has a grandkid in college? 374 00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:26,606 Mm! It's all about lifestyle. 375 00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,508 Really, I walk five miles a day, 376 00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:31,144 and I've had a tremendous amount of plastic surgery. 377 00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:34,114 Oh! I had a brainstorm on that property of yours 378 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:35,182 that you're trying to unload. 379 00:13:35,215 --> 00:13:36,616 You know, where the people -- Ckkk! 380 00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,018 Yeah. 381 00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:40,287 You lean into it. Hmm? 382 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,489 You -- You call it "Massacre Manor," 383 00:13:42,522 --> 00:13:43,723 "Downton Stabby," 384 00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:45,292 "Charles Mansion." 385 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,961 I mean, like, I-I got a million of them. 386 00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:50,630 Actually, I probably -- I have three more. 387 00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,299 See? A master. 388 00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:53,733 Aww. Merv, meet my daughter Haley. 389 00:13:53,766 --> 00:13:55,002 Nice to meet you. 390 00:13:55,035 --> 00:13:57,304 Your daddy tells me that you have come down 391 00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:59,339 with the Madison Avenue flu. 392 00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:01,541 I don't understand anything that's happening here. 393 00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:03,410 I feel the same way when I watch "Empire." 394 00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:08,248 Oh! No, you don't! 395 00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:11,018 Some mangy cat keeps sitting on the roof of my new Rolls. 396 00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:12,485 Merv collects cars. 397 00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:14,254 Not to brag, but I could do a production 398 00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:16,556 of "12 Angry Men" starring cars. 399 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,227 No, you don't, Taffy! 400 00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:21,761 What -- What is he talking about? 401 00:14:21,794 --> 00:14:23,496 What's Madison Avenue flu? 402 00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,365 Oh. I-I may have mentioned that you had a -- 403 00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:27,267 a budding interest in the promotional arts, 404 00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:29,169 and, total stroke of luck, Merv's assistant 405 00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:31,238 is very, very sick. 406 00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:34,574 Wait a minute. You think my business is in the same universe 407 00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:37,677 as Carl's Auto Body toilet seat covers? 408 00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:40,847 Carl just opened a third location because of that wizard. 409 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,349 You got two lives left, Taffy! 410 00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:43,850 Is this how you want to spend them?! 411 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:46,286 I don't need a job. I have one. 412 00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:47,420 What happened to "Team Gets It"? 413 00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:49,422 Well, I don't gets it. 414 00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:50,857 Just seems like you're hanging out at clubs 415 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,759 taking pictures with a bunch of party girls. 416 00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:54,261 I mean, I want to be hip, 417 00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:55,762 but none of this makes any sense to me. 418 00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:57,464 I just want what's best for you. 419 00:14:57,497 --> 00:15:00,100 Nice pep talk. Oh, and thanks for underestimating me. 420 00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:01,768 You know, if you were Orville Redenbacher's dad, 421 00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:03,436 we wouldn't have airplanes! 422 00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:07,907 Got ya! 423 00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:09,542 I guess they don't always land on their feet. 424 00:15:16,816 --> 00:15:17,884 Defense! Defense! 425 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,652 Let's go, baby! Let's go, baby! 426 00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:24,124 Touchdown! 427 00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:25,892 Hey! Wow! 428 00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,260 That Dwight's something, huh? 429 00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:28,828 Yeah! Well, he's fine, you know. 430 00:15:28,861 --> 00:15:30,330 It's -- It's a team sport, 431 00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:32,899 so, you know, they probably wouldn't even miss him. 432 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,134 I just want to say 433 00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:36,569 I love what you're doing. Well, thank you. 434 00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:38,338 I-I wear this sweater with these trousers a lot. 435 00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:40,340 When you're high-waisted, it is very difficult 436 00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:42,509 finding pieces that work together, so... 437 00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:44,611 Yeah, you look really nice, but what she means is 438 00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:46,846 it's great that you're letting Dwight live with you. 439 00:15:46,879 --> 00:15:49,082 You're taking Dwight in? 440 00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:50,483 That doesn't sound like you. It's -- It's -- 441 00:15:50,517 --> 00:15:51,985 He's making him move out. 442 00:15:52,019 --> 00:15:53,086 That sounds like you. 443 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:54,487 Hey, losers. 444 00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:57,157 Thought I'd see you down at the concession stand. 445 00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:58,858 How long were you working on that one? 446 00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:02,495 Is that one of the gems that you wrote into Luke's speech? 447 00:16:02,529 --> 00:16:05,765 I will have you know that Luke wrote his own speech. 448 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,200 He contributed. 449 00:16:07,234 --> 00:16:08,635 Hmm. 450 00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:10,503 He was there. Mm. 451 00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:14,474 Hey. 452 00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:16,143 Hey. 453 00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:18,778 What's with the suit? 454 00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:21,381 Me? Why are you dressed like Nicki Minaj? 455 00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:23,550 My mom and Jay said it made me more relatable. 456 00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:24,651 I feel like an idiot. 457 00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:26,619 Yeah. Me too. 458 00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:29,222 My mom forced me to wear this so I'd be more like you. 459 00:16:29,256 --> 00:16:31,958 Yeah, because I'd wear a brown belt with black shoes? 460 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,326 You know what we should do? 461 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,528 Throw out our speeches and speak from the heart. 462 00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:38,298 That's a great idea. 463 00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:39,899 Mm. You forgot your speech, didn't you? 464 00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:41,501 I plead the second. 465 00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:44,137 Also, uh, You should know, 466 00:16:44,171 --> 00:16:47,174 they arrested two of the three perpetrators. 467 00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:48,808 Hey, honey. What are you doing here? 468 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,143 Making a point. 469 00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:51,511 Oh. Hey. 470 00:16:51,544 --> 00:16:53,180 Uh, I-I'm Phil Dunphy. 471 00:16:53,213 --> 00:16:55,182 Feel free to ask any...questions. 472 00:16:55,215 --> 00:16:56,583 Sweet neck tattoo. 473 00:16:56,616 --> 00:16:58,551 Don't forget to sign the guest book. 474 00:16:58,585 --> 00:17:00,053 Aren't these your, uh -- your work friends? 475 00:17:00,087 --> 00:17:01,154 Yeah. Hold on a second. 476 00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:03,022 Hey, Arizona! Quack quack. 477 00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:05,492 Sorry. Yeah. 478 00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:07,560 Look, I know you don't think what I'm doing is real, 479 00:17:07,594 --> 00:17:09,496 but we just posted about this terrible house 480 00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,364 through all our accounts on multiple platforms, 481 00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:12,765 and there's already a ton of people here, 482 00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:15,068 so, uh, you're welcome. 483 00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:21,941 We don't really need all this stuff, but okay. 484 00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:23,243 All right, everybody. 485 00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:25,212 Before our marching band takes the field 486 00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:28,248 with their tribute to the films of Zac Efron, 487 00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:29,849 let's hear from our two candidates 488 00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:31,251 for Student Council President. 489 00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:33,453 First up is Manny Delgado. 490 00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,957 Actually, we're going to speak together. 491 00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:40,927 Luke and I are here because we each want your votes. 492 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,862 However, certain people want to change us 493 00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:44,931 into being something each of us is not. 494 00:17:44,964 --> 00:17:47,567 They're publicly shaming us. We deserve it. 495 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,402 The important thing is you two leaned something. 496 00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:50,870 Save it, patriarch. 497 00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:53,240 The point is, we are two individuals 498 00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:56,576 with our own unique personalties and ideas. 499 00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:58,545 What he said. 500 00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:00,380 I won. 501 00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:02,915 It was the lowest voter turnout in school history. 502 00:18:02,949 --> 00:18:04,717 They hated the both of us. 503 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:05,985 But you more. 504 00:18:10,123 --> 00:18:11,758 I got to admit, I'm really impressed that you got 505 00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:14,427 all these people here, but they, um -- 506 00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:16,095 they don't really look like house buyers. 507 00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:18,298 Dad, you have no idea who has money anymore. 508 00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:19,666 You see that girl? 509 00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:22,235 She makes six figures playing video games. 510 00:18:22,269 --> 00:18:24,003 And that dude, he invented an app 511 00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:26,105 for trashing your friends called App Smear. 512 00:18:26,139 --> 00:18:28,341 Oh. Any one of these people could buy this house. 513 00:18:28,375 --> 00:18:31,611 And if they do, you give us a percentage of your commission. 514 00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:32,945 That's how we make money. 515 00:18:32,979 --> 00:18:34,347 You the realtor? 516 00:18:34,381 --> 00:18:35,582 Indeed, I am. 517 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,617 I like this place. 518 00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:39,919 Show me where it happened. 519 00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:42,622 Um, it's...right down this hall. 520 00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:44,524 After you. 521 00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:45,658 Her dad's loaded. 522 00:18:45,692 --> 00:18:47,794 By the way, have you seen the price? 523 00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:50,363 The, uh -- The owner wasn't the only thing that's been slashed. 524 00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:58,338 And the Dolphins win, 21-0. 525 00:18:58,371 --> 00:18:59,306 All right! 526 00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:00,540 Hey! 527 00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:03,009 That boy is like a professional. 528 00:19:03,042 --> 00:19:06,313 It's amazing how one kid can carry a whole team. 529 00:19:06,346 --> 00:19:07,514 I feel like you're doing this on purpose. 530 00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:09,148 Excuse me, Mr. Pritchett. 531 00:19:09,182 --> 00:19:11,184 Leslie Kwan Collins, Daily Dolphin. 532 00:19:11,218 --> 00:19:12,385 For heroically taking in Dwight, 533 00:19:12,419 --> 00:19:14,321 you are this month's "Person with a Porpoise." 534 00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:15,522 Oh, I don't know about that. It's -- 535 00:19:15,555 --> 00:19:17,790 Embrace it. 536 00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:19,192 Hey, come over here for just minute, buddy. 537 00:19:19,226 --> 00:19:20,193 Good game! Good game. 538 00:19:20,227 --> 00:19:21,628 Thanks, Coach. Yes. 539 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,963 So, listen, I got something kind of rough I need to tell you. 540 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:25,865 No, I know you and Mitchell aren't just roommates. 541 00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:28,468 I can't tell you how much I appreciate 542 00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:29,902 everything you're doing for me. 543 00:19:29,936 --> 00:19:31,671 Yeah, listen, I don't know how I'm gonna tell you this. 544 00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:33,973 So I'm not gonna. 545 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,308 I just need you to do everything I tell you. 546 00:19:35,342 --> 00:19:36,976 Put your head on my shoulder. 547 00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,345 That's it. Get in there. 548 00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:40,179 Now, I need you to pretend to start crying, 549 00:19:40,213 --> 00:19:41,581 really get those shoulders into it. 550 00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:43,983 Yeah, that's it. That's good. 551 00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:45,585 Oh, God. Oh, God. He's telling him. 552 00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:47,520 Stay strong. Yes. 553 00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:48,921 Now I'm gonna cry. I'm sorry! 554 00:19:48,955 --> 00:19:50,189 I'm sorry! 555 00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:51,358 Okay, final step -- 556 00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:53,192 I just need you to sit down, grab your knees, 557 00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:55,428 and start rocking sadly, all right? 558 00:19:55,462 --> 00:19:56,763 All right, sit. 559 00:19:58,765 --> 00:20:00,600 Excuse me. Can I have everyone's attention, please? 560 00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:03,570 As you know, uh, Dwight's father was recently restationed 561 00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:06,406 to Florida and it was my intention to have my family 562 00:20:06,439 --> 00:20:08,408 have Dwight live with us, but unfortunately -- 563 00:20:08,441 --> 00:20:10,843 But unfortunately for our opponents, 564 00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:12,044 he's gonna be with us all season, 565 00:20:12,078 --> 00:20:14,013 because the rumors are true. 566 00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:16,215 Dwight is going to be staying with us! 567 00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:21,621 That is the more beautiful gesture ever. 568 00:20:21,654 --> 00:20:22,889 Aww, thanks. 569 00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:24,223 I guess I do always come around, huh? 570 00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:26,058 Yes. 571 00:20:26,092 --> 00:20:28,395 Dwight, you're staying. What -- What's going on? 572 00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:29,796 I don't know. 573 00:20:29,829 --> 00:20:32,131 Coach just told me to sit on the ground and look sad. 574 00:20:32,164 --> 00:20:33,966 Cam? Uh, let's hear it for this month's 575 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,403 "Person with a Porpoise" -- Mitchell Pritchett! 576 00:20:36,436 --> 00:20:37,437 Wait. How -- How did you know about that -- 577 00:20:37,470 --> 00:20:38,905 Did that reporter -- Oh! 578 00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:41,408 We are having a serious conversation when I get home. 579 00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:43,075 But I'm loving this! 580 00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:50,082 So, Phil, what can I do you for? 581 00:20:50,116 --> 00:20:51,551 Well, oh wise one... 582 00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:52,752 ...uh, Luke here is President of the Student Council, 583 00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:54,887 but he needs some professional help. 584 00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:57,089 I have a likability issue. 585 00:20:57,123 --> 00:20:58,991 Yeah, I saw that when you came in. 586 00:20:59,025 --> 00:21:02,929 What we need to do is promote you, okay? 587 00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:04,331 I see a pin, "I like Luke." 588 00:21:04,364 --> 00:21:06,499 I see a bracelet, "Luke is no fluke." 589 00:21:06,533 --> 00:21:10,970 I see a stadium cushion, "Luke has your back...side." 590 00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:12,839 How do you do that? 591 00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:14,607 How about phone cases? 592 00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:17,910 Phone cases? I am so sorry. 593 00:21:19,512 --> 00:21:21,481 Sweetheart, this is why people don't like you.