1 00:00:02,403 --> 00:00:04,805 Okay. 2 00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:06,340 Screwdriver? 3 00:00:10,178 --> 00:00:12,012 Oh, no. 4 00:00:12,046 --> 00:00:13,781 Backup screwdriver. 5 00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,985 I come from a long line of handy men. 6 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:21,922 My dad used to fix everything -- lawnmowers, cars, our cat. 7 00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:23,724 So it made sense that I tackled the clothes dryer 8 00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:26,060 after the repair guy tried to rip me off. 9 00:00:26,094 --> 00:00:27,995 I'm not paying $350 10 00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:29,930 for a moisture sensor that costs $28. 11 00:00:29,963 --> 00:00:31,332 I'll fix it myself. 12 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:33,033 It's a complicated job. 13 00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:34,235 You know what I did back in Russia? 14 00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:35,336 Yeah, yeah, I know. 15 00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,171 You were a doctor or a scientist. 16 00:00:37,205 --> 00:00:38,672 I fixed dryers. Oh. 17 00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:40,874 I've been doing this a long time is my point. 18 00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:44,011 Well, Yuri, Phil Dunphy is no pushover. 19 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,979 I'm afraid it's a hard nyet. 20 00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:51,352 I guess these are clean enough. 21 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,521 I'll have this thing running in no time, honey. 22 00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,389 I have an instructional video, 23 00:00:55,423 --> 00:00:57,891 and I'm labeling each part as I take it out. 24 00:00:57,925 --> 00:01:00,361 "Right-back corner. 25 00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:03,797 Tiny elbow-y thingy. 26 00:01:03,831 --> 00:01:06,700 My right. Dryer left." 27 00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:08,302 Can't you do this somewhere else? 28 00:01:08,336 --> 00:01:10,638 Right, the dryer's the one that needs to get its own place. 29 00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:11,972 Honey, you have to be up anyhow. 30 00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:13,241 We've got our cooking class. 31 00:01:13,274 --> 00:01:15,075 I want to get there early and grab a stove up front. 32 00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:17,278 Oh, my God, Mom. You and that chef. 33 00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:18,812 Keep it in your apron. 34 00:01:18,846 --> 00:01:21,081 Mom's obsessed with this TV chef Charles Dumont. 35 00:01:21,115 --> 00:01:22,750 She watches his show every day. 36 00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:24,752 Not sure she listens, though. 37 00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:26,454 A pinch of sugar, 38 00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:29,257 and your taste buds will surrender like the French. 39 00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:31,325 I'm sorry, that joke was a little fromage-y. 40 00:01:31,359 --> 00:01:32,326 Did he say salt? 41 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:33,761 Sugar. Sugar.Sugar. 42 00:01:33,794 --> 00:01:35,596 Mmm! I'd love to give him some sugar. 43 00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:37,998 But I'm pretty sure he said salt here, baby. 44 00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:39,300 Take taste. Oh, no. Aah! 45 00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:40,301 Mmm! Hmm? 46 00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:41,402 Yeah. Yeah? 47 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:42,936 That's got something in it. Yeah. 48 00:01:42,970 --> 00:01:44,472 Oh, almost out of cookin' juice. -Mm-hmm. 49 00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:47,074 All right, the next step is very important. 50 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:47,908 You sure you don't want to pause it? 51 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,677 Oh, no, I'm good. 52 00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:51,479 -We got to fix this. -Mm-hmm-hmm. 53 00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:53,347 We can't tell her how bad her food is 54 00:01:53,381 --> 00:01:54,948 because that would destroy her. 55 00:01:54,982 --> 00:01:57,451 So when I found out Chef Dumont was coming to town, 56 00:01:57,485 --> 00:02:00,053 I signed us up for his class so he could do it. 57 00:02:01,989 --> 00:02:03,991 Whoa! 58 00:02:04,024 --> 00:02:05,959 I know. Pretty intense, huh? 59 00:02:05,993 --> 00:02:08,196 Now I just grab the sensor 60 00:02:08,229 --> 00:02:10,964 and put it -- 61 00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:14,101 Oh, a little lint-y in here. 62 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,636 I probably should have emptied... 63 00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:18,639 Aah! Are the parts okay? 64 00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:19,640 Yeah, they're fine. 65 00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:20,641 Oh, thank God. 66 00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:21,742 I don't know -- Ow! 67 00:02:24,178 --> 00:02:27,381 -- Captions by VITAC -- 68 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:35,055 ** 69 00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:38,892 All right, Joe. Fire it in here, buddy. 70 00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:39,960 Ooh! Yes! 71 00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:41,195 Good. 72 00:02:41,229 --> 00:02:42,230 Now I don't have to tell another son 73 00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:44,164 that some boys have different gifts. 74 00:02:44,198 --> 00:02:45,399 Good job there, slugger. Way to go. 75 00:02:45,433 --> 00:02:47,301 What the hell's going on here, Gloria? 76 00:02:47,335 --> 00:02:48,336 I feel like I died. 77 00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:49,703 I'm watching my family as a ghost. 78 00:02:49,737 --> 00:02:50,704 Don't be silly. 79 00:02:50,738 --> 00:02:51,872 If that happened, 80 00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:53,541 I would have changed all this furniture. 81 00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:55,909 I hired Coach Gary. 82 00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:58,246 He's gonna teach Joe how to throw. 83 00:02:58,279 --> 00:03:00,848 Joe is the worst on his team. 84 00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:03,016 I hear you! 85 00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:04,418 Your son's in good hands, Jay. 86 00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:07,054 I led my team to the championship last year. 87 00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:08,021 We weren't supposed to keep score, 88 00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:09,022 but I did in my head. 89 00:03:09,056 --> 00:03:10,591 This is crazy. 90 00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:13,227 A kid's supposed to learn this stuff from his dad -- 91 00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:15,496 baseball, how to drive a car, 92 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:16,697 how to fight a guy from Jersey. 93 00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:17,731 If you think you took his knife... 94 00:03:17,765 --> 00:03:19,700 He's got another one. 95 00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,835 Joe learned to throw by copying Jay, 96 00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:24,838 but Jay throws all crazy because of his bad shoulder. 97 00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:26,907 Like this, buddy. 98 00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:30,578 Son of a...! 99 00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:32,280 Son of a...! 100 00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:36,384 It's the same reason Joe whistles 101 00:03:36,417 --> 00:03:39,052 "Sentimental Journey" when he pees. 102 00:03:39,086 --> 00:03:40,854 You seem like a nice guy and all, 103 00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:41,955 but, uh, I got this. 104 00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:44,892 Hey, no sweat. Coach Gary gets it. 105 00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:47,227 Hey, uh, don't forget your ball. 106 00:03:52,099 --> 00:03:55,636 It's okay, Jay. Some boys have different gifts. 107 00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:58,872 Let me get it. 108 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,140 Oh. 109 00:04:02,510 --> 00:04:03,777 Hi. Can I help you? 110 00:04:03,811 --> 00:04:05,279 I'm here for Lily. 111 00:04:05,313 --> 00:04:06,814 I always knew this day would come. 112 00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:08,048 Probably not what she's here for. 113 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,317 How do you know our daughter? 114 00:04:09,350 --> 00:04:11,452 I don't. She hired me for a cleaning job. 115 00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:12,453 Oh. What? 116 00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:13,787 Wow. Right on time. 117 00:04:13,821 --> 00:04:15,823 Wait, Lily, did you hire a cleaning lady? 118 00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:17,090 Yeah, with an app on your phone. 119 00:04:17,124 --> 00:04:18,626 Daddy said my room was a pig sty. 120 00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:21,094 Okay, we'll double back to that unnecessary 121 00:04:21,128 --> 00:04:22,663 and inaccurate slam on pigs, 122 00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:24,565 and I think daddy meant for you to clean your room. 123 00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:26,500 We can't have you cleaning our daughter's room. 124 00:04:26,534 --> 00:04:28,336 It just -- It sends the wrong message. 125 00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:30,103 We get to review you guys, too, you know. 126 00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:31,071 Okay. 127 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,840 Now go clean your room. 128 00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:35,309 It's not fair. You guys use apps for everything. 129 00:04:35,343 --> 00:04:36,310 No, we don't. 130 00:04:36,344 --> 00:04:37,411 Well... 131 00:04:37,445 --> 00:04:39,780 Okay, there's Uber for when we eat out... 132 00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:41,649 And Postmates for when we eat in. 133 00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:43,484 And TaskRabbit for stuff around the house. 134 00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:45,152 And Washio and ParkMe 135 00:04:45,185 --> 00:04:46,620 and the one where the guy comes over 136 00:04:46,654 --> 00:04:48,088 and builds a fire in your fireplace. 137 00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,190 Oh, LogBuddy. I love LogBuddy. 138 00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:52,025 We need to start leading by example. 139 00:04:52,059 --> 00:04:55,128 From now on, we're all gonna be a little more self-reliant. 140 00:04:55,162 --> 00:04:57,698 For starters, I'll build the fires. 141 00:04:57,731 --> 00:05:00,834 But the LogBuddy guy comes dressed as a lumberjack. 142 00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:03,471 I have a flannel shirt. 143 00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:05,105 Huh? 144 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,340 Where are all the extra pieces? 145 00:05:06,374 --> 00:05:08,776 There aren't any. I used every last one. 146 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:09,977 Did you throw them away? 147 00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:11,645 You can tell me. I won't be angry. 148 00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:13,280 I fixed the dryer, Claire, 149 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:16,016 and you get to be here for the moment of truth. 150 00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:17,184 Pull the pin. 151 00:05:21,522 --> 00:05:22,956 It works. 152 00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:26,026 I had no idea you were so good with your hands. 153 00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:27,528 Very manly. 154 00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:30,163 I pinched my thumb with a pair of pliers earlier. 155 00:05:30,197 --> 00:05:31,231 Not a peep. 156 00:05:31,264 --> 00:05:33,000 Luke, Daddy and I need to go upstairs 157 00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:34,234 to discuss something in private. 158 00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:37,104 Just go. You're ruining sex for me. 159 00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:42,876 Oh, we just created some static in these sheets, huh? 160 00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:45,178 That felt amazing. Yeah. 161 00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:48,516 I got all up in that dryer and fixed the hell out of it. 162 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,218 I feel capable of anything. 163 00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:53,754 You know what? Hmm? 164 00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:55,055 I'm gonna build it. 165 00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:56,724 Dunphy Tower? Dunphy Tower. 166 00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:57,891 Dunphy Tower -- 167 00:05:57,925 --> 00:05:59,893 My first commercial real-estate development. 168 00:05:59,927 --> 00:06:02,062 I've been dreaming of building it since I was a kid, 169 00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:03,564 and now it's all happening. 170 00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:05,365 Well, minus the trampoline park on the roof 171 00:06:05,399 --> 00:06:07,668 and the tunnel to my best friend's house. 172 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:10,003 I am still holding out hope for a fireman's pole 173 00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:12,005 that takes you to the parking garage. 174 00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:14,374 Well, if you're sure you're finally ready. 175 00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:15,909 Of course I am. I just fixed the dryer. 176 00:06:15,943 --> 00:06:17,578 Hmm. 177 00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:19,913 And it was the most satisfying thing I've ever done. 178 00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:23,083 I'll just get dressed, I guess. 179 00:06:31,659 --> 00:06:33,193 Ta-da! 180 00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:34,862 Phil, I know where we are. I drove. 181 00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,396 You know what this is, 182 00:06:36,430 --> 00:06:38,131 but I'm about to tell you what this could be. 183 00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:40,200 This is my least-favorite way of talking. 184 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:43,971 You are standing on the site of the future Dunphy Tower. 185 00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:46,106 A quarter acre of mixed-use space 186 00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:47,908 in a rapidly gentrifying neighborhood. 187 00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:49,743 Commercial real estate, huh? 188 00:06:49,777 --> 00:06:51,378 This is a departure for you. 189 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,080 I thought about it down to the last detail. 190 00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:54,615 Imagine a happy worker 191 00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:56,584 coming down from their transit-friendly office 192 00:06:56,617 --> 00:06:57,951 for a fancy coffee beverage or yoga, 193 00:06:57,985 --> 00:07:00,320 and what's that over there? 194 00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:01,889 A doll's foot, I hope. 195 00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,591 A farm-to-table dog bakery. 196 00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:05,993 Ooh, Stella and I went to one of those in Solvang. 197 00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:07,461 She got a quiche. 198 00:07:07,495 --> 00:07:08,929 It looked so good, I almost split it with her. 199 00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:10,397 I don't want you to feel pressured to invest, 200 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,932 but I want you to know this isn't a whim. 201 00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:13,066 I've been thinking about this a lot. 202 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,102 What got you off the sidelines? 203 00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:17,971 This is gonna sound silly, but I fixed a dryer today. 204 00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:20,107 I took it all apart and swapped out the sensor. 205 00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:21,241 Get out of here. 206 00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,611 The guy wanted 350 bucks. I paid $28. 207 00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:24,978 Holy cow! 208 00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:27,280 Ho come we haven't been talking about this the whole time? 209 00:07:27,314 --> 00:07:29,249 Because I'm so excited about this project. 210 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,984 I-I really think this could be a good investment. 211 00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:32,319 I don't want to hear any more. 212 00:07:32,352 --> 00:07:33,954 You're the most cautious guy I know 213 00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:35,155 when it comes to business. 214 00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:37,024 If you think this is a slam dunk, I'm in. 215 00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:38,291 Really? 216 00:07:38,325 --> 00:07:39,493 'Cause I have an offer ready to go. 217 00:07:39,527 --> 00:07:40,594 You say the word, I hit "send." 218 00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:42,095 Do it. 219 00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:43,163 I've been looking for investment opportunities. 220 00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:44,932 If you're confident, I'm confident. 221 00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:48,969 Because you know what I'd do to you if you blew my money. 222 00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:58,478 All right, you are about to get an important lesson 223 00:07:58,512 --> 00:08:00,548 on self-reliance, young lady. 224 00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:02,816 I know he's serious when he calls me "young lady." 225 00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:05,318 My dad did the same thing. Okay. 226 00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:07,387 Okay, no more doing chores with our phones. 227 00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:09,823 We are going to get our hands dirty. 228 00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:11,058 And, Mitchell, you're gonna start right here 229 00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:12,526 and manscape this. 230 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:14,962 -Really? Okay. -And guess what you're gonna do? 231 00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:16,664 Can I be in charge of watering the cement 232 00:08:16,697 --> 00:08:18,231 like the gardener? Nope. 233 00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:19,633 You're gonna get down on your hands and knees 234 00:08:19,667 --> 00:08:20,834 and pick weeds. 235 00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:22,803 - Aw! - Aw! 236 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:25,005 You -- You know what I had to do when I was your age? 237 00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:27,675 I had to crawl through a cornfield and pick up rocks. 238 00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:29,342 That's right. 239 00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:31,679 I couldn't even have breakfast until I picked 100. 240 00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:35,716 I'd strap a flashlight to my head, and off I'd go. 241 00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:38,185 One rock, two rocks, 242 00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:39,252 three rocks. 243 00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:40,688 Oh, my God! 244 00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:42,590 It's called dramatic tension. 245 00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:44,091 It's called a beehive. Right -- Right there. What?! 246 00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:45,325 Yep. Mm-hmm. 247 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:46,894 Oh, Oh, no. It's worse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 248 00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:49,062 Those are wasps. Oh, I hate wasps! 249 00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:50,931 No, not you, Mr. Fletcher. The... 250 00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:52,666 Come on. 251 00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:53,701 Gloria? 252 00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:55,769 Phil got me to invest in a mini-mall, 253 00:08:55,803 --> 00:08:57,037 so you might want to dial back 254 00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:58,706 on the shoe purchases for a while. 255 00:08:58,739 --> 00:09:00,373 One second, one second. 256 00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:02,075 "Place order." 257 00:09:02,109 --> 00:09:03,944 What did you say, baby? 258 00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:05,512 Drawer's fixed. What the hell?! 259 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,280 Don't sneak up on people like that. 260 00:09:07,314 --> 00:09:08,548 I'm liable to have knocked you out. 261 00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:10,250 I doubt it. 262 00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:11,752 I was gonna fix that, anyway. 263 00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:13,587 Ay. Like you were going to clean the gutter? 264 00:09:13,621 --> 00:09:15,122 Coach Gary did it already. 265 00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:17,024 It really wasn't a problem. 266 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:19,760 I'm not afraid of heights, and I've got big hands. 267 00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:22,295 Those are fun details. 268 00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:24,264 It's like the guy was trying to steal my life. 269 00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:26,099 I wish he'd shown up when I was married to Dede. 270 00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:27,367 I would have made him a key. 271 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,136 Let me show you out, although you sound like 272 00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:31,038 you know the place pretty good already. 273 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:31,905 Hey, Jay, I've got a date Friday night. 274 00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:33,273 Can I borrow your car? 275 00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:34,808 Sure, you can borrow your mother's car. 276 00:09:34,842 --> 00:09:35,575 Who's the lucky girl? 277 00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:37,144 Rachel Caputo. 278 00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:39,079 She and Manny work on the school paper together. 279 00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:40,781 Extra, extra, she's a cutie. 280 00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:42,149 Thanks for your help. 281 00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:44,117 Hey, I just played the ukulele. 282 00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:45,452 You sang the song. 283 00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:47,154 Yeah. Coach Cupid! 284 00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:48,321 All right, Gar. 285 00:09:48,355 --> 00:09:49,957 You don't want to miss that bus. 286 00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:51,058 Thanks again, Coach Gary. 287 00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,993 He's not even your coach. 288 00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:55,262 I need a scotch and a James Bond marathon. 289 00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:56,263 You may be out of luck. 290 00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:57,765 The TV wasn't working a minute ago. 291 00:09:57,798 --> 00:09:59,299 Sounds like the satellite dish. 292 00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:01,601 Big Hands probably messed it up poking around in my gutters. 293 00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:03,103 Let me check it out. -No, no, no. 294 00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:04,905 That might be very dangerous. 295 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,907 Let me go grab Coach Gary, and he can help you. 296 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,141 I said I'd do it. 297 00:10:08,175 --> 00:10:09,409 Yeah, but I'm sure Coach Gary 298 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:10,978 wouldn't mind sticking around. 299 00:10:11,011 --> 00:10:12,045 I'm getting that impression myself! 300 00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:15,148 Thank you all for coming. 301 00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:16,917 Who here wants to go to Paris right now? 302 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,185 Moi! 303 00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:20,120 No. We're not getting on a plane. 304 00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:23,791 We'll be transported by these humble ingredients. 305 00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:24,858 How great is he? 306 00:10:24,892 --> 00:10:27,360 So great. Listen to everything he says. 307 00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:29,763 Look to your left. Look to your right. 308 00:10:29,797 --> 00:10:31,531 Before this class is through, 309 00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:34,334 all of you will know how to make herb-roasted chicken! 310 00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,269 Ohh! I know this recipe. 311 00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:37,671 I could make this chicken in my sleep. 312 00:10:37,705 --> 00:10:39,106 How about we try it awake? 313 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:41,641 Let's start with the most important ingredient -- thyme. 314 00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:44,011 That's right. It's time to chop thyme. 315 00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:45,846 He's just like he is on TV. 316 00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:47,180 Yeah. 317 00:10:47,214 --> 00:10:48,716 Thyme and chicken play together very well, 318 00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:50,884 unlike dogs and chickens. 319 00:10:50,918 --> 00:10:53,120 Tragic story -- my rescue whippet and I 320 00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:54,788 live next to an urban farm and... 321 00:10:54,822 --> 00:10:57,324 Oh, my, do you mind if I use this as an example? 322 00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:59,226 Oh! Avec pleasure. 323 00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:03,831 See how she's chopped it stems and all? 324 00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:05,365 That's wrong. 325 00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:07,701 Sloppiness like this can ruin a dish. 326 00:11:07,735 --> 00:11:09,536 Oh. I had no idea. 327 00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:11,404 I suppose when it comes to herbs, though, 328 00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:13,073 you're something of a sage. 329 00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:14,541 That's clever. Thank you. 330 00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:15,709 You can't eat clever. Oh. 331 00:11:20,748 --> 00:11:22,049 Freeze! Police! 332 00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:24,051 I'm a Realtor. I'm not a criminal. 333 00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:25,819 Oh, well, then you're not doing it right. 334 00:11:25,853 --> 00:11:27,687 Hey, Gil. 335 00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:29,656 If one of your clients is actually thinking 336 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,158 about buying this minefield, 337 00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,625 that would be their second bad decision. 338 00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:35,595 First was hiring you. Yeah, I got it. 339 00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:36,696 You're not gonna push one of your clients 340 00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:37,831 into this swamp, are you? 341 00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:38,698 Maybe it just needs a developer 342 00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:40,100 with a little vision. 343 00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:43,103 Very little vision and no sense of smell. 344 00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:44,838 I mean, this neighborhood makes El Segundo 345 00:11:44,872 --> 00:11:45,906 seem like a Sephora. 346 00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:47,207 It's in transition. 347 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,709 Yeah, it's turning into Fallujah. 348 00:11:49,743 --> 00:11:52,212 I'm out of here before I get jacked. 349 00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:54,414 You gonna be around here for a while? I might. 350 00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:55,582 Maybe you can score me some methadone. 351 00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:00,954 Hey, Bob. 352 00:12:00,988 --> 00:12:02,956 Good news, Phil. They accepted your offer. 353 00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:05,192 Without a counter? Maybe I came in too high. 354 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,894 Whatever. They were really happy. 355 00:12:06,927 --> 00:12:08,128 Are... 356 00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:09,596 Hold on, Bob. It's my son. 357 00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:11,431 Luke, what's up? 358 00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:13,300 Dad? 359 00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:14,902 I think something's wrong with the dryer. 360 00:12:14,935 --> 00:12:16,569 But I-I fixed it. 361 00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:18,571 I fixed it good. 362 00:12:18,605 --> 00:12:20,140 I'll be right there. 363 00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:21,942 Hurry! I think it's leaving. 364 00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:26,746 Now, this is fresh produce. 365 00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:27,915 I can't even describe... 366 00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:30,050 Strike three! 367 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,085 How exactly is this an improvement? 368 00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:34,087 Jay picked that lamp. 369 00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:35,923 By the way, have you seen him? 370 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,599 I don't know how I got stuck. 371 00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:49,002 I've been on roofs since I was 14 and discovered 372 00:12:49,036 --> 00:12:51,905 it was the best way to see into Ethel Burkin's bedroom. 373 00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:53,907 Older gal. 50s, I think. 374 00:12:53,941 --> 00:12:55,475 Today you probably wouldn't give her a second look, 375 00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:57,444 but this was before the Internet. 376 00:12:57,477 --> 00:12:59,446 It was either that or a Sears catalog. 377 00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:01,314 Can I take a picture of this? 378 00:13:01,348 --> 00:13:03,750 Sometimes my friends don't believe my stories. 379 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,585 There's got to be a better way of doing this. 380 00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:06,920 On the contrary, Mitchell. 381 00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:08,255 It's simplicity itself. 382 00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,257 I dislodge the nest. It falls into the trash can. 383 00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:11,491 You close the lid. Okay. 384 00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:13,927 Then we just have a barrel full of angry wasps. 385 00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:16,129 Which we swiftly transport to a farm upstate 386 00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:17,597 where they'll be much happier. 387 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,266 Ooh, they'll see my friend's dog. 388 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,301 Yeah, just like that. 389 00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:25,272 All right. First, we just have to dislodge the nest. 390 00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:28,308 No, no, no, no! 391 00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:31,178 There's one on my face. There's one -- 392 00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:33,981 Don't move. I've been compromised. 393 00:13:34,014 --> 00:13:35,182 Okay, g-get in the house. 394 00:13:35,215 --> 00:13:38,118 Ow! Ow! Oh! Ow! Ooh! Bad idea! 395 00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,353 Ow! I was gonna take you to a farm! 396 00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:41,488 Ow! Ohh! 397 00:13:47,928 --> 00:13:49,897 I may have to change the name of this side dish 398 00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:52,665 to "potatoes au great-in." 399 00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:54,067 I'm not hearing a difference. 400 00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:55,869 Great. 401 00:13:55,903 --> 00:13:58,038 Oh, this is...unique. 402 00:13:58,071 --> 00:13:59,806 Yes, thank you very much. 403 00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,909 You know how on your show you were always taking chances 404 00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:03,143 and trusting your instincts? 405 00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:04,477 Well, that is what I did. 406 00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:07,747 That's because I have good instincts. Mm-hmm. 407 00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:08,982 What's something you do well? 408 00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:10,083 Cook? 409 00:14:10,117 --> 00:14:11,418 No. Hmm. 410 00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:12,852 Uh, mom, I think what he's trying to say 411 00:14:12,886 --> 00:14:14,854 is that you should more closely follow his recipe. 412 00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:16,489 You know, use the ingredients that he mentions. 413 00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:17,490 Measure stuff. 414 00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:18,858 Right? Not at all. 415 00:14:18,892 --> 00:14:20,493 As I say in the foreword 416 00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:21,728 of my third book, "Who Can't Cook?," 417 00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:23,463 "Some people can't cook." 418 00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:25,565 Don't feel bad. 419 00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:28,201 Gourmet cooking is tough, 420 00:14:28,235 --> 00:14:29,436 though not as tough as your chicken. 421 00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:31,171 I can't believe I'm hearing this. 422 00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:32,906 It's times like this I wish I had a refund policy. 423 00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:33,706 Wait a second. 424 00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:35,175 I have been making 425 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:37,677 this food for my family for months now. 426 00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:39,679 I make a big meal every Sunday. 427 00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:40,948 I'm a working mom. 428 00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:44,351 It's my one chance a week to give my family something 429 00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,553 and make up for the time I haven't spent with them. 430 00:14:46,586 --> 00:14:50,190 Are you telling me that I have been giving my family garbage? 431 00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:51,258 Wait, uh... 432 00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:53,726 Haley, honey, 433 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,595 have I been serving you garbage? 434 00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:57,931 Um... 435 00:14:57,965 --> 00:14:59,566 What do you think I said? 436 00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:01,534 She is the best cook ever. 437 00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:02,635 We love all of her meals. 438 00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:04,437 Hmm! Yeah. 439 00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:05,438 Mm-hmm. 440 00:15:05,472 --> 00:15:07,107 And my singing? So good! 441 00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:09,076 So... 442 00:15:10,477 --> 00:15:12,946 Jay? 443 00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:14,982 Jay! 444 00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:16,749 I'm up here. 445 00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:19,719 Ay, Dios mío! Your time was too short! 446 00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,288 I'm on the roof. 447 00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:23,290 Ah. Oh, okay. 448 00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:25,825 So come down because the TV's working already. 449 00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:28,395 You know, I'm kind of enjoying hanging out up here. 450 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,897 I-I'll be down in a little bit. 451 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:33,967 Hey, if Joe wants to work on his throwing arm, 452 00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:36,236 maybe he can toss up, uh, an empty bottle. 453 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:37,737 Are you stuck up there? 454 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,606 Stuck? No! 455 00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:41,008 I can come down whenever I want to. 456 00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:44,277 I just have to... dangle my body out over the edge 457 00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:46,146 and then reach blindly 458 00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:48,915 for that top rung of the ladder you're not supposed to use. 459 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,583 But I'll be in in a little bit. 460 00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,185 I got a few things I got to do. 461 00:15:52,219 --> 00:15:54,287 Got to maintain the roof. 462 00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:55,622 It's your house's hat. 463 00:16:01,861 --> 00:16:03,463 I called the one person 464 00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:05,765 I couldn't possibly be embarrassed in front of. 465 00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:09,136 It's grandpa. 466 00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:11,438 Don't answer! He can't know about this. 467 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,040 We have a verbal contract that's largely based 468 00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:15,875 on my ability to fix dryers. 469 00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:17,077 Please work. 470 00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:21,214 Yes! 471 00:16:21,248 --> 00:16:23,216 Maybe. 472 00:16:28,155 --> 00:16:29,222 What's that smell? 473 00:16:29,256 --> 00:16:30,357 Failure. 474 00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:37,897 Oh, Cam, that sting looks really bad. 475 00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:39,032 We -- We should get you to a doctor. 476 00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:40,967 A doctor for a wasp sting? 477 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,402 Yes, let's put on our top hats 478 00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:44,304 and eat crumpets while we're on our way. 479 00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:45,672 Okay, I know you think you're making a point. 480 00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:47,174 Back on the farm, 481 00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:49,676 every time we would take down a wasp nest, 482 00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:50,743 I would get stung. 483 00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:52,079 Something you might have mentioned. 484 00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:53,913 And never once did I need fancy medicine. 485 00:16:53,946 --> 00:16:55,182 Just a little mud. 486 00:16:55,215 --> 00:16:56,516 That's right, Lily. 487 00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:59,352 Daddy's being self-reliant. 488 00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:01,921 What do you think the chances are he means actual mud? 489 00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:03,256 Pretty good. 490 00:17:03,290 --> 00:17:04,657 Like my Aunt Dot said, 491 00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,526 "Whether it's bee stings or back aches, 492 00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:09,162 a little mud is good for what ails you." 493 00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:10,563 I don't remember meeting an Aunt Dot. 494 00:17:10,597 --> 00:17:12,065 She died. 495 00:17:12,099 --> 00:17:13,900 15 minutes later. 496 00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:15,335 All right. 497 00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:16,336 I thought I'd make you a little bit -- 498 00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:17,937 Oh, my God! 499 00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:18,938 What? My face? 500 00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:20,407 Is it bad? It feels bad. 501 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:21,541 It looks a little like 502 00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:23,042 you stared directly into the Lost Ark. 503 00:17:23,076 --> 00:17:24,411 I want to see. You don't. 504 00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:26,346 Do you think maybe me putting mud on it made it worse? 505 00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:29,015 I don't know how putting dirt directly into a wound -- 506 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,383 It -- It -- Where are you going? 507 00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:32,952 To the doctor. I want to be pretty again. 508 00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:34,287 Well, w-what about being self-reliant? 509 00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:36,956 It's my face! Let's go! 510 00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:40,627 Wasps! They're still out there! 511 00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:45,798 Yeah, I'll hold. 512 00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:47,200 I'm pulling out of the deal. 513 00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:48,568 Why? What happened? 514 00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:49,902 I'm not the man you thought you had 515 00:17:49,936 --> 00:17:50,937 middle-of-the-day sex with. 516 00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:52,572 Honey, I heard about the dryer. 517 00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:53,773 It's not just that. 518 00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:55,742 I ran into Gil. He thinks it's a bad idea. 519 00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:57,377 Your dad's money is on the line. 520 00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:58,945 I've never done anything like this. 521 00:17:58,978 --> 00:18:00,380 Who cares what Gil Thorpe thinks? 522 00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:02,882 Nobody knows more about real estate than you do, 523 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:06,119 and you've been thinking about this project for a long time. 524 00:18:06,153 --> 00:18:07,320 I believe in you. 525 00:18:07,354 --> 00:18:08,955 You should believe in yourself. 526 00:18:08,988 --> 00:18:11,724 Yeah, hey, Bob. 527 00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:13,293 It's Phil. 528 00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:16,463 Remove the contingencies. Let's do this. 529 00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:18,131 Is that a fact? 530 00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:21,501 Thanks for letting me know. 531 00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:23,170 Gil Thorpe made a backup offer. 532 00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:25,104 He was just trying to scare me away. 533 00:18:25,138 --> 00:18:27,407 Oh! I am so proud of you! 534 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,108 Wow. Looks like the both of us had 535 00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:30,677 a little crisis of confidence today. 536 00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:32,679 In that cooking class... 537 00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:33,913 Yes? Yes, well, 538 00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:36,649 Chef Dumont had the audacity 539 00:18:36,683 --> 00:18:37,850 to tell me that I can't cook. 540 00:18:37,884 --> 00:18:39,519 Huh. Mm. 541 00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:43,423 Luckily, this one was there to straighten him out. 542 00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:44,691 I'm gonna make you a celebratory dinner. 543 00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:46,293 I think I've got most of the ingredients. 544 00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:48,161 I can't wait! Mm-hmm. 545 00:18:48,195 --> 00:18:49,862 You had one job. 546 00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:53,933 Hi, Jay. 547 00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,602 Oh, crap. She called you. 548 00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:56,669 Give me your hand. 549 00:18:56,703 --> 00:18:59,105 Why? So you can show me up again? 550 00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:00,840 What are you talking about? 551 00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:01,974 Give it a rest. 552 00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:04,544 You come in here with your young shoulders, 553 00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:05,812 your ukulele. 554 00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:07,780 I'm not trying to show you up, Jay. 555 00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:09,716 I'm trying to impress you. 556 00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:12,051 Why the heck would you want to do that? 557 00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:13,886 I guess you could say that, like you, 558 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,389 I'm stranded in my own way. 559 00:19:16,423 --> 00:19:17,957 This is my least-favorite way of talking. 560 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:20,393 I got to tell you, Jay, 561 00:19:20,427 --> 00:19:22,161 I'm over the whole sports thing. 562 00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:23,496 But you just won the championship. 563 00:19:23,530 --> 00:19:24,831 Exactly. 564 00:19:24,864 --> 00:19:26,499 And there's no more Dragons to slay. 565 00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:27,734 That's the team we beat last year -- 566 00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:29,302 the Baby Blue Dragons. 567 00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:30,970 I'm not seeing how I figure into this. 568 00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,572 I want to start my own business. 569 00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:34,407 You've been so successful. 570 00:19:34,441 --> 00:19:36,876 I was thinking maybe you could be my mentor. 571 00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:37,877 What line of work? 572 00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:39,312 Pre-fab gazebos. 573 00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:40,380 Nice! 574 00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:42,249 Every backyard could be its own town square. 575 00:19:42,282 --> 00:19:43,650 I knew you'd get it. 576 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,352 After all, what's a gazebo but... 577 00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:46,686 An outdoor closet! ...an outdoor closet? 578 00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:48,388 You're all right, Coach Gary. 579 00:19:48,421 --> 00:19:50,323 Give me your hand. Help me down. 580 00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:52,325 We'll get a few drinks, and we'll talk business. 581 00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:54,060 Gary's Gazebos. 582 00:19:54,093 --> 00:19:55,328 Gazebos by Gary. 583 00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:57,163 Gary's Gazebos and Sheds. 584 00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:58,665 You don't need me. 585 00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:00,066 All right. 586 00:20:06,439 --> 00:20:08,241 Is this you sitting alone in an empty yard 587 00:20:08,275 --> 00:20:09,676 wishing you had.... 588 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,177 ...a gazebo... 589 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,245 ...or a shed? 590 00:20:12,279 --> 00:20:13,880 If it is, 591 00:20:13,913 --> 00:20:16,283 then call Gary's Gazebos and Sheds 592 00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:18,551 because here, we only do one thing -- 593 00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:20,119 ...sell, install, 594 00:20:20,152 --> 00:20:22,188 and service gazebos and sheds. 595 00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:24,924 Whoa! 596 00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:27,394 And ask about our bird baths. 597 00:20:27,427 --> 00:20:29,596 We own 10% of that, you know. 598 00:20:29,629 --> 00:20:31,698 How much money did you put into the businesses? 599 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,733 Well, you can't take it with you. 600 00:20:33,766 --> 00:20:36,068 Well, we'll all still be here!