1 00:00:03,871 --> 00:00:05,473 Hey, Cam. Louise, what are you doing here? 2 00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:06,707 You're not dropping out 3 00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:08,076 of the league championship tonight, are you? 4 00:00:08,109 --> 00:00:10,044 Louise is dropping out of the league championship? 5 00:00:10,078 --> 00:00:11,679 Did you shoot yourself in the leg again? 6 00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:13,814 Oh, my God, we're one win away from my first sports trophy, 7 00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:14,682 and then this happens. 8 00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:16,917 All I said was "Hey, Cam." 9 00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:18,686 So, this year, I invited Mitchell 10 00:00:18,719 --> 00:00:21,689 to join my gay bowling team -- the Britney Spares. 11 00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:23,424 I came up with the team name, I designed the shirts. 12 00:00:23,457 --> 00:00:25,025 Yeah. It's not important who gets the credit. 13 00:00:25,059 --> 00:00:28,162 When we first stated, my bowling was, um -- well, it was iffy. 14 00:00:28,196 --> 00:00:30,231 But then I practiced and I practiced 15 00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:34,102 until the shoe-rental guy called me "decent." 16 00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:35,769 I'm not here as a teammate. 17 00:00:35,803 --> 00:00:38,005 I'm here on official police business. What? 18 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,074 Please tell me that is not you. 19 00:00:40,108 --> 00:00:41,575 What is that? 20 00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:44,278 Oh, no. 21 00:00:44,312 --> 00:00:45,279 Oh. 22 00:00:45,313 --> 00:00:47,548 Oh. 23 00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:51,119 No, no, no. 24 00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:52,353 Hmm. That's Fizbo... 25 00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,021 Mm-hmm. ...with a scary mask. 26 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,956 That's clearly not me. It's not him. 27 00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:57,625 No! Who would do that? 28 00:00:57,658 --> 00:00:59,627 Who would take something so beautiful 29 00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:01,562 and turn it into something so ugly? 30 00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:03,197 How did the guy get the costume? 31 00:01:03,231 --> 00:01:04,532 Oh, who knows? 32 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:05,933 Your father gave it to charity. 33 00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:07,435 By accident. 34 00:01:07,468 --> 00:01:09,537 How did I not hear that fight? 35 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:10,638 Was I in town? 36 00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:12,540 All right, then, uh, case closed. 37 00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:13,574 I'll see you guys tonight. 38 00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:15,309 What? No "case closed." 39 00:01:15,343 --> 00:01:17,311 We haven't even found the perp! 40 00:01:17,345 --> 00:01:19,380 Look, the only reason I was following up on this 41 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:21,115 is 'cause I thought it might be you. 42 00:01:21,149 --> 00:01:23,050 Well, yeah, but we have to get my costume back. 43 00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:24,485 We have to restore Fizbo's good name. 44 00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:26,420 Oh, but we're -- we're still gonna go bowling, right? 45 00:01:26,454 --> 00:01:27,755 Wow. 46 00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:29,056 You give away my beloved alter ego, 47 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,824 and you won't even allow me 30 seconds 48 00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:32,460 to have an emotional reaction? 49 00:01:32,493 --> 00:01:34,828 Yeah. No, it sounded fast as I was saying it. 50 00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:37,831 -- Captions by VITAC -- 51 00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:40,834 Captioning Provided by 20th Century Fox Television and ABC, Inc. 52 00:01:40,868 --> 00:01:43,604 and brought to you by Ford. We go further, so you can. 53 00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:45,639 ** 54 00:01:49,177 --> 00:01:50,478 And now for the finishing touch. 55 00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:52,480 Franks for Frank! 56 00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:54,648 Dad's bachelor party's gonna be epic. 57 00:01:54,682 --> 00:01:56,850 You couldn't see it. That's why -- Boom! 58 00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:59,487 Chicken wraps, white wine, fudge. 59 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,155 Is this a bachelor party 60 00:02:01,189 --> 00:02:03,624 or a party where ladies sit around watching "The Bachelor"? 61 00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:05,793 And why did you get me a triple-XL? 62 00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:06,994 The lady said it'd shrink in the wash. 63 00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:08,696 How's it gonna do in the trash? Jay. 64 00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:11,365 Kidding. I'll use it to wash my car. 65 00:02:11,399 --> 00:02:13,867 My dad is marrying my old babysitter Lorraine, 66 00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:15,269 who has a son, 67 00:02:15,303 --> 00:02:19,207 which means that I am finally getting a brother! 68 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:21,675 When I was young, I wanted a brother so much, 69 00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:23,143 my folks got me bunk beds. 70 00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:25,213 At night, I'd pretend he was up there and talk to him, 71 00:02:25,246 --> 00:02:27,215 and when he didn't answer back, I always just figured, 72 00:02:27,248 --> 00:02:30,150 "Well, Marty's in a mood again." 73 00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:36,557 Excuse me. Do you serve crabs here? 74 00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:38,459 We serve anyone. 75 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,127 Jokes only get old because they're good, right? 76 00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:42,463 Nailed it. 77 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:43,831 Phil, this is Ray. 78 00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:46,334 Wow. I guess we're gonna be brothers. 79 00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:47,635 Bring it in. 80 00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:49,069 Ah. Oh! 81 00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:51,672 Oh! No. Oh! What's happening? 82 00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:53,474 We're brothers! Isn't this what brothers do? 83 00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:54,675 I don't know, but I love it! 84 00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:56,176 Whoa! 85 00:02:56,210 --> 00:02:58,045 This guy totally tried to touch my ding-dong. 86 00:02:58,078 --> 00:02:59,146 Oh. 87 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,481 I didn't know it was that kind of party. 88 00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:02,816 I guess you didn't see the white wine and fudge. 89 00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:05,519 White wine? That's not gonna get me there. 90 00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:06,854 Am I the only one who sees me 91 00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:08,322 choking that guy out tonight? 92 00:03:08,356 --> 00:03:09,323 I don't know. 93 00:03:09,357 --> 00:03:10,691 I got a good feeling about Ray, 94 00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:12,360 and I-I felt a lot of him. 95 00:03:12,393 --> 00:03:14,428 He's just a little wound up from the drive. 96 00:03:14,462 --> 00:03:16,730 I'm sure you'll find he's a real solid citizen. 97 00:03:18,266 --> 00:03:20,000 The sap across the hall left his door open. 98 00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,068 That's my room! 99 00:03:21,101 --> 00:03:24,004 Oh. So, I guess you'll need these. 100 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,841 Before we start, thanks for agreeing 101 00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,710 to do this read through of my latest play, 102 00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:31,679 "A Withering Farewell Under a Harvest Moon"... 103 00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,113 So catch-- 104 00:03:33,146 --> 00:03:34,382 ...colon, "The Tears of Angels." 105 00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:36,216 So catchy! Right? 106 00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:38,018 It's a story of four women who come together 107 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,520 to mourn the loss of the family patriarch. 108 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:42,055 Oh, no. So sad, so very sad. 109 00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:43,957 Pace yourself, crazy. We haven't even started. 110 00:03:43,991 --> 00:03:45,726 A man died, Claire. 111 00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:47,127 A fake man, 112 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:49,229 and if he was a patriarch, he was a fake old man, 113 00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:50,364 and old men die. 114 00:03:50,398 --> 00:03:51,632 Surely, this is a thought 115 00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:53,834 that has occurred to you from time to time, huh? 116 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:55,903 Please don't make me part of this. 117 00:03:55,936 --> 00:03:57,137 Anyway, when it's over, 118 00:03:57,170 --> 00:03:58,739 feel free to share your thoughts -- 119 00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:01,275 What you liked, what you loved, but also the negatives -- 120 00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:03,611 what went over your head, any words you didn't know. 121 00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:06,480 I'm submitting my latest play to a young playwrights festival, 122 00:04:06,514 --> 00:04:08,115 but I want to hear it out loud first 123 00:04:08,148 --> 00:04:09,817 to be sure I've hit all my emotional marks. 124 00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:12,119 One might ask, "Why all female characters?" 125 00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:13,554 Let's just say, write what you know. 126 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,124 Wait. To clarify, I understand women. 127 00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:19,660 I don't feel like I am one. 128 00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:21,128 110 pages? 129 00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:23,130 What time are we supposed to get out of here? 130 00:04:23,163 --> 00:04:24,798 Oh, honey, you got a hot date tonight? 131 00:04:24,832 --> 00:04:27,100 Mom, don't be mean. Ignore her. 132 00:04:27,134 --> 00:04:28,969 I actually am in a relationship, 133 00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:30,504 but I've been hiding it from everybody 134 00:04:30,538 --> 00:04:32,740 because I have once again chosen somebody 135 00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,842 that is completely inappropriate. 136 00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:36,810 It's this older guy -- Ben. 137 00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:40,448 He works for my mother, and he lives with his mother. 138 00:04:40,481 --> 00:04:42,350 I'm like a moth to a flame 139 00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:44,752 if the flame is an underachieving man-child 140 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:47,688 with a Tasmanian Devil tattoo on his butt. 141 00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:49,657 Sorry, this is going to take longer than I expected. 142 00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:50,491 Can you wait there? 143 00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:51,792 Sure. 144 00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:53,961 My mom's got her poker girls over, anyway. 145 00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:56,196 This one lady, Karen, she gets real handsy with me. 146 00:04:56,229 --> 00:04:57,865 She's not un-hot, either. 147 00:04:57,898 --> 00:05:02,169 She's like an older, curvy Emily Blunt but Indian. 148 00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:03,937 Don't try to make me jealous, Ben. 149 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:05,539 One of my regulars at the coffee shop 150 00:05:05,573 --> 00:05:07,808 is always asking if I want to do some motorboating. 151 00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:09,710 If I didn't get seasick, I'd go. 152 00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,347 Now, okay, I don't want to get ahead of myself, 153 00:05:13,381 --> 00:05:15,449 but does the trophy have each of our names, 154 00:05:15,483 --> 00:05:16,817 or is it just the team name, 155 00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:18,719 'cause I kind want one of my own, but -- 156 00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:20,554 You know what? No, never mind. I'll just get it engraved. 157 00:05:20,588 --> 00:05:21,855 Okay, how can you be thinking 158 00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:24,057 about bowling at a time like this? 159 00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:26,627 You mean as we're going in to our bowling championship? 160 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,195 Oh. Text message. 161 00:05:29,397 --> 00:05:31,298 Read text message. 162 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,866 You have a message from Martin. 163 00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,234 "I keep picturing you guys 164 00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:35,869 holding the trophy later tonight. 165 00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:37,405 Just kidding. 166 00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:39,306 You're not invited to my victory party. 167 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:40,340 Ha ha." 168 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:43,644 Oh. 169 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,245 Hello, Martin. 170 00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:46,980 Hello, Cameron. Hello, Mitchell. 171 00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:48,582 Where's the rest of Britney Queers? 172 00:05:48,616 --> 00:05:51,385 It's the Britney Spares, Martin. 173 00:05:51,419 --> 00:05:53,020 The Britney Queers were eliminated weeks ago. 174 00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:54,555 Yes, by us. 175 00:05:54,588 --> 00:05:57,357 Eventually, all will fall to The Gay City Bowlers. 176 00:05:57,391 --> 00:05:58,726 I forget. Do all the names have to be puns? 177 00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:00,160 Yes. It's like hair salons. 178 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,829 Unpleasant as always, Martin. 179 00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,431 I'll see you in the alley. 180 00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:05,232 I'm sure you say that to a lot of men. 181 00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,403 Mitchell! Fizbo! 182 00:06:09,437 --> 00:06:11,104 What? Over there! 183 00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:12,740 Cam -- Cam, do you think it's possible 184 00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:14,675 with how upset you are about Fizbo 185 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,209 that -- that maybe you're seeing things? 186 00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:17,778 Oh. No. 187 00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:19,947 Maybe it's another guy with purple hair and a size 23 shoe. 188 00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:21,482 Maybe Dennis Rodman bowls here! 189 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,921 And we begin. 190 00:06:27,955 --> 00:06:30,390 "Lights up on the living room of James Pickett. 191 00:06:30,424 --> 00:06:33,093 The furnishings and art tell us he was a wealthy man, 192 00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:34,528 but his money couldn't buy taste. 193 00:06:34,562 --> 00:06:37,431 Enter four women in black returning from a funeral. 194 00:06:37,465 --> 00:06:39,767 First, James' widow Chloe Dubois-Pickett"... 195 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,034 That's me! 196 00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:42,703 ..."a beautiful French commoner who married up." 197 00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:43,771 Ooh, là l. 198 00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:45,238 Next is Bailey, the granddaughter -- 199 00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:47,140 cute as a button and just as smart." 200 00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:48,442 I like her. 201 00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:50,410 "Following her is James' sister, 202 00:06:50,444 --> 00:06:52,480 Professor Alma Diller, 60s. 203 00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:53,947 There's no problem she can't solve 204 00:06:53,981 --> 00:06:55,783 except her own loneliness. 205 00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:57,551 Finally, James' daughter Kate -- 206 00:06:57,585 --> 00:07:00,120 attractive, intense, sharp-tongued, 207 00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:01,589 fleeting moments of warmth." 208 00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:03,757 "Fleeting moments of warmth"? 209 00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:04,925 I get it. 210 00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:06,494 This is the story of the four of us 211 00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:07,995 through some sort of distorted Manny lens. 212 00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:10,498 Yeah, just because I'm smart, I end up a spinster? Mm-hmm. 213 00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:12,232 You know what I could be doing right now 214 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,266 if I didn't get seasick? 215 00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:14,134 Okay, calm down. 216 00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:15,669 These characters are a compilation 217 00:07:15,703 --> 00:07:17,838 of many other women I've known, not you people. 218 00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:19,139 Okay, let's start. 219 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:21,909 "Kate enters and crosses straight to the credenza. 220 00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:24,344 As she pours herself a much-needed glass of wine"... 221 00:07:25,713 --> 00:07:28,148 Mm. Right. 222 00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:29,750 "To be honest, I can't believe 223 00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:31,752 the old grump didn't die years ago." 224 00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:33,453 Nice. 225 00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:35,022 My first line is something horrible about my dead dad. 226 00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:36,524 How cold do you think I am? 227 00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:37,958 Didn't I just say it's not you? 228 00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:39,993 Isn't it, though? 229 00:07:40,027 --> 00:07:41,361 What? 230 00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:44,464 "Old people die, get over it"? 231 00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:45,699 That was, like, 20 minutes ago. 232 00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:46,700 Okay, now, hang on a second. 233 00:07:46,734 --> 00:07:47,968 Okay, this seems like a whole thing, 234 00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:49,269 so I'm just gonna go grab a water real quick. 235 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:50,671 Oh, come on. 236 00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:53,841 Who are you texting? 237 00:07:53,874 --> 00:07:54,942 Ahh! No one. 238 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,544 I'm just reading my horoscope. Liar. 239 00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:58,378 Why would anyone read their horoscope so late in the day? 240 00:07:58,411 --> 00:07:59,647 Everything's already happened. 241 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:00,948 There's a dude, isn't there? 242 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,182 What? No. 243 00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:03,316 Sneaking off with your phone, 244 00:08:03,350 --> 00:08:04,384 the clean hair, 245 00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:06,386 your one bra that fits properly -- spill. 246 00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:08,055 Okay, fine. 247 00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:09,690 There is a dude. 248 00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:11,191 Oh, God, it's not another high-school boy, is it? 249 00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:12,560 No. He's legal. 250 00:08:12,593 --> 00:08:14,494 He's just embarrassing in a different way. 251 00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:16,029 You know you've been like this your whole life -- 252 00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:18,866 ashamed of the romantic, sexual part of you. 253 00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:20,734 Honestly, it seems like you think you don't deserve it, 254 00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:21,869 but you do. 255 00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:23,737 And if this guy is fun and good to you 256 00:08:23,771 --> 00:08:26,740 and doesn't ride a scooter, let it be okay. 257 00:08:26,774 --> 00:08:29,209 Haley. 258 00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:30,377 Thanks. 259 00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:31,712 Ladies, I don't know 260 00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:33,480 what emotional thing is playing out right now, 261 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,315 but how about you save it for over there? 262 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,417 And then I sent you the cutest video 263 00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:40,220 of a puppy nursing on a mama lion, 264 00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:41,722 and what do you text back? 265 00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:42,890 "She's getting him fat 266 00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:45,025 so that he tastes better at lunch"? 267 00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:47,027 Yeah, so what? My crime is I'm hilarious? 268 00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:49,096 Can we get back to this, please? 269 00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:50,764 Kate just said she couldn't believe 270 00:08:50,798 --> 00:08:52,833 her father didn't die sooner, then -- 271 00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:55,669 "The Widow Dubois slumps in a chair, emotional." 272 00:08:55,703 --> 00:08:58,271 "Ohh, ma chérie, 273 00:08:58,305 --> 00:09:01,108 your papa would be devastated to hear you say 274 00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:03,076 such insensitive things." 275 00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:04,411 Really? 276 00:09:04,444 --> 00:09:07,314 Are you gonna do the whole accent thing? 277 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:12,352 Lo and behold -- What do we see? 278 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:15,723 The queen of spades is gone! Where could she be? 279 00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:17,925 In Frank's pocket. I saw you put it there. 280 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,894 So it is! 281 00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:22,462 Great trick, Phil. 282 00:09:22,495 --> 00:09:24,031 And nice assist, Ray. 283 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:26,634 I thought this was supposed to be a bachelor party. 284 00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:28,736 Where's the female entertainment? 285 00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:31,304 Oh, don't you worry about that. 286 00:09:31,338 --> 00:09:35,108 * Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream * 287 00:09:35,142 --> 00:09:36,610 * Bum, bum, bum, bum 288 00:09:36,644 --> 00:09:38,879 * Make him the cutest that I've ever seen * 289 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,247 * Bum, bum, bum, bum 290 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,816 * Give him two lips like roses and clover * 291 00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:44,284 * Bum, bum, bum, bum 292 00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:46,053 * And tell him that his lonesome nights are -- * 293 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,087 What are you doing?! 294 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,722 Calling time of death. 295 00:09:48,756 --> 00:09:49,757 Oh, not you ladies. 296 00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:51,591 You're still very vital, of course. 297 00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:52,726 Hey, we really appreciate 298 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,628 all the riveting you did during the war. 299 00:09:54,662 --> 00:09:56,129 Dad was enjoying them. 300 00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:57,898 Just as well. 301 00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,266 I'm about to be married. 302 00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:00,567 I don't need to be tempted 303 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,402 by all those bum, bum, bums. 304 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,437 Oh, is that it for the planned activities? 305 00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:06,239 No, we're just getting started. 306 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:08,776 For the next hour, it's a $5 buy-in game of Uno, 307 00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:11,411 then downstairs to Captain Scupper's, 308 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,013 the best oysters in the desert. 309 00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:15,315 And finally, put on your neckties, gentlemen, 310 00:10:15,348 --> 00:10:18,852 'cause I have four balcony seats to Mr. Neil... 311 00:10:18,886 --> 00:10:19,820 Please say "Diamond." 312 00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:20,821 ...Sedaka. 313 00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:22,189 What a night! 314 00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:24,024 Oh, we need some ice. 315 00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:25,425 I'll be right back. 316 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:26,593 What the hell's Uno? 317 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,096 Sort of a thinking man's Crazy Eights. 318 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,998 Instead of playing cards up here, 319 00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:34,634 there is a casino downstairs with actual big-boy drinks. 320 00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:36,103 I'm right behind him. 321 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,671 We'll grab Phil on the way. 322 00:10:37,705 --> 00:10:42,275 Or wouldn't it be fun for him to try and find us? 323 00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:45,178 Oh, he'll love that! 324 00:10:45,212 --> 00:10:46,714 Hey, Louise, 325 00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:48,148 I just saw that psycho imposter clown 326 00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:50,050 out by the dumpster giving me threatening looks. 327 00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:51,685 Look, Flouncy -- It's Fizbo. 328 00:10:51,719 --> 00:10:52,953 I'm talking to you. 329 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,622 I don't have time for your clown nonsense. 330 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,324 We've got a championship to win. 331 00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:59,026 I'm gonna go warm up with the Pindigo Girls. 332 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,730 Why does this have to be happening today? 333 00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:06,800 Mitchell, maybe it's happening because it's today. 334 00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:09,369 Maybe somebody is trying to get in my head 335 00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:11,004 to throw me off my game. 336 00:11:11,038 --> 00:11:13,240 Oh, honey, do you really think people care enough to -- 337 00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:15,575 Hey, you know what, there are six people just in my eyesight 338 00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:17,310 that would do anything to break my winning streak. 339 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,512 For instance, Martin. 340 00:11:20,848 --> 00:11:22,382 He's never forgiven me for making him feel 341 00:11:22,415 --> 00:11:23,550 like your father was in love with him. 342 00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:24,651 Okay, it couldn't have been Martin. 343 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:25,719 We saw him, like, three seconds 344 00:11:25,753 --> 00:11:26,754 before you thought that you saw Fiz-- 345 00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:27,888 Actually saw. Okay. 346 00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:28,889 And what's this about my dad? 347 00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:30,557 Fine. It's not Martin. 348 00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:32,826 But it certainly could be Señor Kaplan. 349 00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:35,896 Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, seis. 350 00:11:35,929 --> 00:11:38,231 Hola, Señor Kaplan. 351 00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:40,200 If you're here to talk trash, I'm not interested. 352 00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:41,334 Where were you 20 minutes ago, 353 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:42,736 and can anybody account for your whereabouts? 354 00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:44,271 Not that it's any of your business, 355 00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:46,573 but I happened to be in the photo booth taking some solos. 356 00:11:46,606 --> 00:11:48,375 I'm gonna use number three for my new passport. 357 00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:50,043 I would use number two. There's a twinkle in your eye. 358 00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:51,578 But I have a different theory 359 00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:52,846 as to where you were 20 minutes ago, 360 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:55,248 and it would have given you exactly enough time 361 00:11:55,282 --> 00:11:57,885 to change out of a clown costume into your bowling outf-- 362 00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:01,521 What's wrong? Wha-- No. No, no. 363 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:02,790 I just saw -- I just saw Fi-- Fizbo 364 00:12:02,823 --> 00:12:04,357 in -- in -- in the mirror. 365 00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:05,959 I don't know what's going on with you, Tucker, 366 00:12:05,993 --> 00:12:10,130 but in my culture, we like to call it loco en la cabeza. 367 00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:11,932 Okay, you know what? Knock it off. You're Canadian. 368 00:12:15,502 --> 00:12:19,072 "You all seem to forget I'm not alone. I have Albert. 369 00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:20,874 You can search the world, and I defy you 370 00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:24,044 to find a more devoted, loving... 371 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,412 parrot." 372 00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:27,180 "I used to like talking to Albert, 373 00:12:27,214 --> 00:12:30,050 but then we got into a fight over a cracker." 374 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,052 "Kate whispers to Bailey as they watch the Widow 375 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,087 sadly plunking notes on the piano." 376 00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:36,356 "How long do we have to stay with her? 377 00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:38,025 We can leave now, right?" 378 00:12:38,058 --> 00:12:39,893 "I knew when your papa died, 379 00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:41,862 I would never see you again." 380 00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:44,397 "No matter what I do, 381 00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:48,001 you refuse to accept that I accepted you." 382 00:12:48,035 --> 00:12:48,902 "Mais non. 383 00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:50,170 I'm sorry. 384 00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:52,605 I'm just so emotional today." 385 00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:54,507 "But of course you are, Chloe. 386 00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:57,777 And I'm sorry if I made you feel like an outsider." 387 00:12:57,811 --> 00:13:00,848 "I love you, you know? Je t'aime." 388 00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:02,115 "I love you, too." 389 00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:03,783 Black out. 390 00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:05,385 Bravo! Bravo! 391 00:13:05,418 --> 00:13:06,954 Really, Manny? 392 00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:09,522 My character gets into a fight with a parrot over a cracker? 393 00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:10,757 I told you that story in confidence. 394 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:13,793 And for the record... 395 00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:15,695 I am nothing like my character. 396 00:13:15,728 --> 00:13:17,130 I'm not lonely at all. 397 00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:18,465 I have tons of options. 398 00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:19,900 I'm actually going to see one right now. 399 00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:21,134 And thanks to Haley, 400 00:13:21,168 --> 00:13:22,402 I'm no longer ashamed of talking about him. 401 00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:23,636 Ooh! Who is it? 402 00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:24,905 -No one. -What's his name? 403 00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:26,373 Nothing. 404 00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:27,875 Well, if that's it for the feedback... 405 00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:29,642 No, actually... Oh. Yay. 406 00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:32,946 ...for me, the ending felt a little trite. 407 00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:34,447 There's a lot of good stuff in there, 408 00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,816 but the whole "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, 409 00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:38,285 I love you, I love you" -- I just -- 410 00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:40,420 I think women are more complicated than that. 411 00:13:40,453 --> 00:13:42,555 Don't listen to her, Manny. 412 00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:43,924 The ending was beautiful. 413 00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:45,825 It's just that some women have a hard time 414 00:13:45,859 --> 00:13:47,928 expressing their feelings. 415 00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:48,962 Oh, this again? 416 00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:51,131 Gloria, I'm a very feeling person. 417 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,332 Oh, really? 418 00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:54,601 From the woman that writes in my birthday cards 419 00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:56,403 "Best, Claire." 420 00:13:56,436 --> 00:13:57,570 How is that not warm? 421 00:13:57,604 --> 00:13:59,839 I am wishing you quite literally the best. 422 00:13:59,873 --> 00:14:01,441 I am a person in your family. 423 00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:04,144 I am not the woman that does your eyebrows. 424 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,446 Why would I send her a birthday card? 425 00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:10,850 The question is why can't you write "Love, Claire"? 426 00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:12,585 I write "Love, Gloria." 427 00:14:12,619 --> 00:14:16,089 I even dot the "I" with a huge heart. 428 00:14:16,123 --> 00:14:18,959 I tell you that I love you, and you say "Me, too." 429 00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:21,161 Why? Why can't you tell me that you love me? 430 00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:22,996 I don't know why I can't tell you that I -- 431 00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:24,965 There was a time when I wanted to, 432 00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:27,500 and then the moment passed and time went by 433 00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,469 and then it just felt forced. 434 00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:31,104 You -- You say it all the time. 435 00:14:31,138 --> 00:14:32,872 One could argue that dilutes it. 436 00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:34,141 Oh, so now it's my fault? 437 00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:35,508 I am lashing out at you 438 00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:37,477 because this is not the first time 439 00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:39,012 I've been accused of this. 440 00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:42,182 I am sorry I haven't said it before, Gloria. 441 00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:43,316 I love you. 442 00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:45,652 I love you. 443 00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:46,920 Mm. Okay. 444 00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:50,890 My God, you're right. It is trite. 445 00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:54,127 You got this, Sam! Come on. 446 00:14:54,161 --> 00:14:55,528 Come on! 447 00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:57,864 You on the other hand -- you throw one more gutter ball, 448 00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,300 and I will literally frame you for murder. 449 00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:01,969 No pressure. 450 00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,043 Mwah! 451 00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:12,745 I wonder what that's about. 452 00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,048 Oh! Shh, shh, shh! 453 00:15:15,082 --> 00:15:15,815 Shh, shh, shh! 454 00:15:15,848 --> 00:15:17,050 Hmm. 455 00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:18,685 You two seem awfully chummy. 456 00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:19,919 Well, if by "chummy," you mean, 457 00:15:19,953 --> 00:15:22,855 "in the throes of an electric sexual relationship," 458 00:15:22,889 --> 00:15:25,525 then, yes, you bet your bowling balls we're chummy. 459 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,663 Oh, my gosh. 460 00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:32,265 I just put it all together. 461 00:15:32,299 --> 00:15:33,666 You're both Fizbo. 462 00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,368 When I'm with one of you, 463 00:15:35,402 --> 00:15:37,237 the other's wearing the costume, creating the perfect alibi. 464 00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:38,838 Light-bulb moment! 465 00:15:38,871 --> 00:15:40,173 This clown thing again. 466 00:15:40,207 --> 00:15:42,342 Look, Tucker, if I wanted to get back at you 467 00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:44,244 for, oh, I don't know, say something like 468 00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:45,845 setting me up with your straight father-in-law, 469 00:15:45,878 --> 00:15:47,547 I certainly wouldn't do it 470 00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:50,083 by stealing your stupid Bozo suit. It's Fizbo. 471 00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:51,518 Way to take the high road, sweetie. 472 00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:54,287 First, I'd hack your e-mails, 473 00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:57,390 then I'd create several fake social-media accounts, 474 00:15:57,424 --> 00:15:59,859 which I would use to mount the multi-pronged smear campaign 475 00:15:59,892 --> 00:16:02,295 to drive a wedge between you and everything you love. 476 00:16:02,329 --> 00:16:03,863 Wow. 477 00:16:03,896 --> 00:16:06,099 That's maybe a bit of a red flag. 478 00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:08,268 And then I'd get several credit cards in your name 479 00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:10,537 and then embark on a massive identity-theft scheme 480 00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:12,205 that would leave you bankrupt 481 00:16:12,239 --> 00:16:13,706 and, with any luck at all, facing criminal charges. 482 00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:14,774 That's what I'd do. 483 00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:16,876 Okay. She's a bit of a handful, huh? 484 00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:18,645 You know, I was thinking, maybe we should take a beat 485 00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:19,879 on meeting your parents this weekend. 486 00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:20,947 What do you say? All right. 487 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,315 What? 488 00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:26,453 Bravo! Bravo. 489 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:30,057 If you think your little over-the-top revenge monologue 490 00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:32,992 is gonna throw me off your scent, 491 00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:34,827 then you are sorely mistaken. 492 00:16:34,861 --> 00:16:37,564 Now open your bag. 493 00:16:37,597 --> 00:16:38,798 What? 494 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:41,334 All of you, open your bags! 495 00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:42,802 You don't have -- Cam, you got to stop. 496 00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:43,970 Open them! Hey, hey! 497 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,072 You're paranoid. You are paranoid. 498 00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:47,607 No one is dressing up... 499 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:48,941 Oh, damn it, I hate it when you're right. 500 00:16:48,975 --> 00:16:50,443 What -- Oh! There he is! 501 00:16:50,477 --> 00:16:52,179 Chase him! Get him! 502 00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:54,581 Stop! Imposter! 503 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,016 Oh. 504 00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:58,318 Close your door, ma'am! We're in pursuit! 505 00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,519 Okay, okay, okay. Thank you! 506 00:17:00,987 --> 00:17:02,855 Okay. 507 00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:05,592 We lost him. 508 00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:07,427 Wait. His mask. 509 00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:09,329 It smells like beer and cheese fires. 510 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:10,930 Oh, Mitchell, that's good investigative work. Yes. 511 00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:12,299 You've narrowed it down 512 00:17:12,332 --> 00:17:14,033 to everyone in the bowling alley. 513 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:22,442 Uno. 514 00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,845 There you are. 515 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,680 We've been looking all over for you. 516 00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:30,383 Did you check in here, in the room where the party is? 517 00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:32,519 Don't worry. We didn't forget about you. 518 00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:33,886 Boop. 519 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:35,054 I hope it was worth it. 520 00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:36,689 We missed our reservation to Captain Scupper's. 521 00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:38,024 Don't worry, Phil. We ate. 522 00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,559 Pit boss sent some shrimp cocktails 523 00:17:39,592 --> 00:17:40,860 over to our craps table. 524 00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,395 Along with some regular cocktails, am I right? 525 00:17:42,429 --> 00:17:43,663 Yeah! 526 00:17:45,332 --> 00:17:46,733 You -- You had to be there. 527 00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:48,034 I get it. You had shrimp and drinks. 528 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,302 Now, if it's not too much trouble, 529 00:17:49,336 --> 00:17:50,903 maybe we could get back on schedule. 530 00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:52,639 We don't want to miss Sedaka's opening act -- 531 00:17:52,672 --> 00:17:53,973 Extremely Little Richard. 532 00:17:54,006 --> 00:17:56,376 Good golly, is he small! 533 00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:58,077 Change of plans -- I traded those tickets 534 00:17:58,111 --> 00:18:00,147 for seats to "Sexcalibur." 535 00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:02,349 You what? It's a dirty "Medieval Times." 536 00:18:02,382 --> 00:18:03,583 Are you kidding me? 537 00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:05,084 It's okay, Phil. 538 00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:07,620 I waited 79 years to see Neil Sedaka. 539 00:18:07,654 --> 00:18:09,422 I can wait another 79. 540 00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:11,090 No, Dad. You're being too nice. 541 00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:14,261 This is your bachelor party, not yours! 542 00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:16,028 You're ruining this whole night. 543 00:18:16,062 --> 00:18:17,764 You ruined it when you planed it. 544 00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:20,032 And get that finger out of my face. 545 00:18:20,066 --> 00:18:22,034 Nobody hijacks my dad's party, 546 00:18:22,068 --> 00:18:25,672 and nobody tells me where to put my finger. 547 00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:27,039 Boop! 548 00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:28,875 Here we go. 549 00:18:31,244 --> 00:18:32,645 I wanted a brother when I was 10, 550 00:18:32,679 --> 00:18:33,846 not a 10-year-old brother! 551 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:35,114 You're the baby! 552 00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:37,384 You're older, but you're the baby. 553 00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:38,718 You're no Marty! 554 00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:40,153 It's not much of a fight, but maybe we should -- 555 00:18:40,187 --> 00:18:42,355 I know. I thought it was gonna get good. 556 00:18:42,389 --> 00:18:44,724 All right, that's enough. Stop. 557 00:18:44,757 --> 00:18:46,159 Phil, you're being ridiculous. 558 00:18:46,193 --> 00:18:48,895 Ray, I don't know you, but you seem like a horse's ass. 559 00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:50,797 All right, now! Grow up! 560 00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:52,632 Start acting like gentlemen. 561 00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:54,234 Uh, would you two mind 562 00:18:54,267 --> 00:18:56,068 stepping out in the hall for a second? 563 00:18:56,102 --> 00:18:57,804 I need to have a word with Phil. 564 00:18:57,837 --> 00:18:59,172 All right, but hurry up. 565 00:18:59,206 --> 00:19:01,474 We don't want to miss the unlacing of the first wench. 566 00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:03,376 You know, I really appreciate 567 00:19:03,410 --> 00:19:05,044 all you've done arranging my party, 568 00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:07,914 but, you know, I'm happy doing whatever. 569 00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:09,416 Is something else bothering you? 570 00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:11,651 I don't know. 571 00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:13,220 So much is changing, Dad. 572 00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:15,555 I guess I'm kind of afraid that this is the end of an era. 573 00:19:15,588 --> 00:19:17,990 Now I have to share you with Lorraine, with that. 574 00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:20,092 You're not losing me. 575 00:19:20,126 --> 00:19:22,262 As a matter of fact, you're gonna be seeing a lot more of me. 576 00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:24,831 Lorraine and I have been kind of kicking around the idea 577 00:19:24,864 --> 00:19:27,200 of moving to California. 578 00:19:27,234 --> 00:19:29,035 To be closer to me? 579 00:19:29,068 --> 00:19:30,670 Yes. 580 00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:32,572 And to be farther from Ray. 581 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:37,610 Hey, Louise, we just saw evil Fizbo again. 582 00:19:37,644 --> 00:19:39,779 It's true. I was there. We lost him in the parking lot. 583 00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:41,248 Yeah, we looked in every car. 584 00:19:41,281 --> 00:19:42,949 Geez, Louise, there has to be something you can do. 585 00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:44,584 Fine. First thing tomorrow, I'll look into it 586 00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:45,852 if you can focus on bowling. 587 00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:47,687 I can. There you are. 588 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,021 I've been looking all over for you. It's your turn. 589 00:19:49,055 --> 00:19:50,089 Sorry. I was in the ladies room. 590 00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:51,291 I was putting IcyHot on my hammies. 591 00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:53,626 Mm. 592 00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:55,228 Ahh! Ohh. 593 00:19:55,262 --> 00:19:56,596 D-Did you do something to your hand? 594 00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:58,431 I just hurt it playing air hockey. 595 00:19:58,465 --> 00:20:00,066 They got rid of the air hockey table months ago. 596 00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:01,801 Uh -- Nothing. I mean, I was -- 597 00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:03,736 Wait -- W-Wait -- Wait a minute. 598 00:20:03,770 --> 00:20:05,037 You go missing, 599 00:20:05,071 --> 00:20:06,873 then you mysteriously hurt your hand, and t-- 600 00:20:06,906 --> 00:20:09,276 Okay, okay -- There is lipstick in this mask, 601 00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:11,077 and it is -- It is the same shade 602 00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:12,645 as the lipstick on your beer. 603 00:20:12,679 --> 00:20:14,714 You're Fizbo? 604 00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:15,882 You wear lipstick? 605 00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:17,083 But you're on our team. 606 00:20:17,116 --> 00:20:18,451 Why would you do this? 607 00:20:18,485 --> 00:20:20,219 Because you bug me. 608 00:20:20,253 --> 00:20:22,489 That's it? 609 00:20:22,522 --> 00:20:24,724 You picked the team name, you designed the shirts, 610 00:20:24,757 --> 00:20:25,792 you take all the credit. 611 00:20:25,825 --> 00:20:27,327 Everything's about you. 612 00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:30,463 You messed with his head so he'd lose us the team championship. 613 00:20:30,497 --> 00:20:32,732 Yeah, opening the door for -- for you to be captain. 614 00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:33,900 I should be captain. 615 00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:36,769 Give me my Fizbo. 616 00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:42,309 You get out of my face. 617 00:20:42,342 --> 00:20:43,810 Wait, wait, no. Hold on. Hold on. 618 00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:45,678 Is there still a chance that we could win this? 619 00:20:45,712 --> 00:20:47,580 Not unless we can pick up 57 pins in one frame. 620 00:20:47,614 --> 00:20:50,116 Yeah. And you get out of his face. 621 00:20:54,554 --> 00:20:58,325 Hello, fruit of your father's loins. "Mitchell's" fine. 622 00:20:58,358 --> 00:20:59,326 You know, speaking of Jay -- 623 00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:00,527 You brought him up. 624 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:03,262 Well, your father and I had a moment... 625 00:21:03,296 --> 00:21:05,298 Uh-huh. ...a couple of years ago 626 00:21:05,332 --> 00:21:07,667 when he was pretending to be gay 627 00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:09,502 so that he could bowl in our league. 628 00:21:09,536 --> 00:21:10,870 I know he said it was all an act, 629 00:21:10,903 --> 00:21:13,105 but what I felt from him -- 630 00:21:13,139 --> 00:21:14,807 It was just so very real. 631 00:21:14,841 --> 00:21:16,476 Okay, Martin, I hate to break this to you, 632 00:21:16,509 --> 00:21:17,544 but my dad is potentially 633 00:21:17,577 --> 00:21:19,278 the straightest man on the planet. 634 00:21:19,312 --> 00:21:20,647 Yeah, but that not withstanding, 635 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,782 do you think maybe you could give me his phone number? 636 00:21:22,815 --> 00:21:25,217 It's just always felt like unfinished business to me. 637 00:21:25,251 --> 00:21:26,886 I am not giving you his phone number. 638 00:21:26,919 --> 00:21:27,654 I'll give you my trophy. 639 00:21:27,687 --> 00:21:29,155 It's 3-1-0...