1 00:00:02,570 --> 00:00:05,173 [ Knock on door ] 2 00:00:05,206 --> 00:00:07,908 Good morning, sunshine. How was your night in the yard? 3 00:00:07,941 --> 00:00:10,178 Perfect. I like sleeping outside. 4 00:00:10,211 --> 00:00:11,912 Mm-hmm. 5 00:00:11,945 --> 00:00:13,381 Haley lost her keys again. 6 00:00:13,414 --> 00:00:15,583 She's been going through this irresponsible phase. 7 00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:18,586 Yeah, for 25 years. I'm not gonna let her get to 26. 8 00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:21,455 [ Chuckling ] Just to be clear, Claire's not going to kill her. 9 00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:26,094 Haley: Let me in! Please! 10 00:00:26,127 --> 00:00:27,261 -No. -Please? 11 00:00:27,295 --> 00:00:29,763 This is just like when we Ferberized her as a baby. 12 00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:32,266 Let her cry it out. She'll settle down. 13 00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:34,102 Why?! 14 00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:36,104 What if I just throw a blanket out there? 15 00:00:36,137 --> 00:00:37,505 Something that smells like us. 16 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:40,941 You can't leave me out here! It's 2:00 in the morning! 17 00:00:40,974 --> 00:00:42,943 I have to change for a party. 18 00:00:42,976 --> 00:00:44,512 Good night, honey. 19 00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:47,515 -- Captions by VITAC -- 20 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:50,551 Captioning Provided by 20th Century Fox Television and ABC, Inc. 21 00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:53,587 and brought to you by Ford. We go further, so you can. 22 00:01:00,261 --> 00:01:02,029 -Morning, Phil. -No! 23 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,030 It's not a -- 24 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,198 It's not a good morning. 25 00:01:04,232 --> 00:01:05,633 It's gonna be an even worse day. 26 00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:08,302 Every morning, before I shower, I kick off my underwear. 27 00:01:08,336 --> 00:01:10,804 If I catch it, it's gonna be a great day. 28 00:01:10,838 --> 00:01:12,039 If I don't... 29 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,107 No! 30 00:01:13,141 --> 00:01:14,442 ...disaster. 31 00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:16,444 I know that sounds crazy, but it's an old family ritual 32 00:01:16,477 --> 00:01:18,712 my grandfather did until the day he died -- 33 00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:22,816 a day -- you guessed it -- that he dropped his underwear. 34 00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:24,118 I don't know what happened. 35 00:01:24,152 --> 00:01:25,219 It was a strong kick, 36 00:01:25,253 --> 00:01:26,454 ankle flick was on point. 37 00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:28,489 It is just a ridiculous superstition. 38 00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:29,990 Ridiculous? Let's review. 39 00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:31,625 They day I Rollerbladed into bees -- 40 00:01:31,659 --> 00:01:32,926 I dropped my underwear. Mm. 41 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:34,928 The night I Rollerbladed into that campfire -- 42 00:01:34,962 --> 00:01:36,330 How about you stop Rollerblading? 43 00:01:36,364 --> 00:01:37,765 How about I stop breathing? 44 00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:40,268 When I miss my catch, the best thing I can do 45 00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:41,902 is just wait it out in a safe place. 46 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,337 Unh-unh. Not today. No, no, no. 47 00:01:43,371 --> 00:01:44,572 We have a ton of errands to get done 48 00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,006 before we go see Steely Dan this afternoon. 49 00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:47,475 What time is that? 3:00 p.m. 50 00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:48,409 Why is it so -- 51 00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:50,144 They are not young men, Phil. 52 00:01:50,178 --> 00:01:52,780 Great. My phone is broken, and it's your fault. 53 00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:54,081 How do you figure that? 54 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,749 Because I had to throw it at some squirrels last night 55 00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:57,084 to keep them from attacking me. 56 00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,586 You guys have to buy me a new one. 57 00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,120 Costing me money. It's already happening. 58 00:02:00,154 --> 00:02:01,255 No, it's not costing you money 59 00:02:01,289 --> 00:02:02,790 because we are not buying her a new phone. 60 00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:03,624 What?! 61 00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:04,992 But I need it for work. 62 00:02:05,025 --> 00:02:06,627 I sit on a stupid golf course all day. 63 00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:07,995 What else am I supposed to look at? 64 00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:09,263 You can have a new phone 65 00:02:09,297 --> 00:02:10,831 when you can afford a new phone. 66 00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:12,500 Phil, would you cut and toast those bagels? 67 00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:14,101 With the knife? 68 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:16,270 Sweetie, here are the spare keys. 69 00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:17,705 I would like you to make yourself a copy. 70 00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:19,473 I can't wait to find out 71 00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:21,041 how you lose those. 72 00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:23,444 No wonder the neighbors think you're so mean. 73 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,379 You hear everything when you sleep outside. 74 00:02:31,219 --> 00:02:33,354 Gloria! 75 00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:36,056 [ Footsteps approaching ] 76 00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:37,057 I was just out in the garage. 77 00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:38,058 Is there anything 78 00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:39,193 you want to tell me? 79 00:02:39,227 --> 00:02:40,194 Uh, yes. 80 00:02:40,228 --> 00:02:41,161 I got rid of 81 00:02:41,195 --> 00:02:42,162 your exercise machine. 82 00:02:42,196 --> 00:02:43,531 It was a piece of junk. 83 00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:45,366 You owe me and Chuck Norris an apology. 84 00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:48,569 But I'm talking about the dent in your car. 85 00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:49,403 Did you hit something 86 00:02:49,437 --> 00:02:50,204 we can talk about, 87 00:02:50,238 --> 00:02:51,205 or should I hose the front 88 00:02:51,239 --> 00:02:52,206 and find a body shop 89 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:53,207 that doesn't ask questions? 90 00:02:53,241 --> 00:02:54,708 I didn't hit anything. 91 00:02:54,742 --> 00:02:56,577 Someone must have hit me when 92 00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:58,579 I was inside the store with Joe. 93 00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:00,080 But talking about accidents, 94 00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:02,650 if your dog pees one more time 95 00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:04,084 in one of my slippers, 96 00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:05,319 I may accidentally 97 00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:06,320 leave her at the beach. 98 00:03:06,354 --> 00:03:07,488 I would never let that happen. 99 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,423 And don't lash out at her. 100 00:03:09,457 --> 00:03:10,591 If you crashed the car, 101 00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:11,592 just tell me. 102 00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:12,826 I didn't. 103 00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:14,828 And I don't appreciate being called a liar. 104 00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:15,763 Are you kidding? 105 00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:16,764 You can never admit 106 00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:17,765 to making a mistake 107 00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:18,766 and it drives me crazy. 108 00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:20,067 Remember that romantic trip 109 00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:21,769 we took to Rome, Indiana? 110 00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:23,103 That's where I wanted to go. 111 00:03:23,136 --> 00:03:24,438 I meant to buy those tickets. 112 00:03:24,472 --> 00:03:25,706 Then why did you learn Italian? 113 00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:26,840 Mamma mia, Jay. 114 00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:28,442 If I had been in an accident, 115 00:03:28,476 --> 00:03:29,910 I will admit it. 116 00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:31,512 Now, I have to go 117 00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,914 and buy more slippers online. 118 00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:35,616 Try not to crash the computer. 119 00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:36,784 Mitchell: Hey, Cam. 120 00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:38,686 So, the towel girl at the gym 121 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,187 said that I look like 122 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,555 an old Prince Harry. 123 00:03:41,589 --> 00:03:42,556 Shh! Shh! 124 00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:43,524 Oh, come on. 125 00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:44,858 Are you eavesdropping on Pam again? 126 00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:46,727 Yes. I'm trying to, but you keep talking. 127 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,028 She's on the phone. 128 00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:50,264 Pam: Oh, baby, I miss you, too. 129 00:03:50,298 --> 00:03:52,433 If you were here, you can't believe... 130 00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:53,767 No. No. Okay, that's just gross. 131 00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:55,035 That's your sister. Shh. 132 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:56,637 ...things I'd do to you. 133 00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:59,540 I know you only got 10 minutes... 134 00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,375 10 minutes? He's on a time limit? 135 00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:02,443 Pam: ...let me get to the dirty parts... 136 00:04:02,476 --> 00:04:03,811 She's talking to Bo in jail. 137 00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,045 Bo is Pam's baby daddy -- 138 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,079 currently incarcerated 139 00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:07,481 back in Grasshopper, Missouri, 140 00:04:07,515 --> 00:04:08,716 for punching a police horse. 141 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:09,617 And now, I'm worried 142 00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:10,384 she's just gonna 143 00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:11,419 throw her future away by 144 00:04:11,452 --> 00:04:12,753 getting back together with him. 145 00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:14,722 It's crazy how weak she is 146 00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:17,491 with him when she's so strong in other ways. 147 00:04:17,525 --> 00:04:19,393 I mean, she is the three-time winner 148 00:04:19,427 --> 00:04:21,061 of the country-fair mule drag. 149 00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:23,263 Step away from the pipe, Cam. 150 00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:24,298 Come on. You're better than that. 151 00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:25,933 No, I'm not, and neither are you. 152 00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:27,167 You eavesdropped on that couple 153 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:28,669 behind us at "Bridget Jones's Baby." 154 00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:29,637 Oh, no, that wasn't eavesdropping. 155 00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:30,804 We were in public. 156 00:04:30,838 --> 00:04:31,939 And do you think I really wanted to hear 157 00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:34,141 that moron's recap of the first movie? 158 00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:36,009 Half those details were from "Love Actually." 159 00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:38,145 Do you think I'm happy about this situation? 160 00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:40,448 I wish I couldn't even hear her at all! 161 00:04:40,481 --> 00:04:43,116 Hey, Boss, are you done listening to your sister? 162 00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:45,118 The boys are asking if they can use the table saw again. 163 00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:47,187 Okay, well, he's joking. 164 00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:48,789 Before Francisco was a contractor, 165 00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:50,691 he did stand-up comedy in Guatemala. 166 00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:52,125 Not just in Guatemala. 167 00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:53,927 Actually, I'm doing 10 minutes this Friday night at the -- 168 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:54,995 Oh, we have dinner reservations. 169 00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:56,630 Oh, gay holiday. Yeah, um... Yeah. 170 00:04:56,664 --> 00:04:59,467 So, look, but I do want to talk about the sink before you leave. 171 00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:00,968 Sorry, Mitch. That ship has sailed. 172 00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:04,171 Oh, also, did you bring the new tiles for the backsplash? 173 00:05:04,204 --> 00:05:05,939 Yes, they're in my truck. I'll be right back, Boss. 174 00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:07,441 Great. Okay. Yeah. Go get those. 175 00:05:07,475 --> 00:05:09,510 Hey, um, I-I don't want to make a big deal about this, 176 00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:12,713 but do you notice how he calls you "Boss" and me "Mitch"? 177 00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:14,147 No, but I did notice... Yeah. 178 00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:16,216 ...how one of his little pouches on his tool belt 179 00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:18,519 is filled with jelly beans. How cute is that? 180 00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:21,121 The point is, he treats you like the actual boss 181 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,857 and me like I'm some, you know, ditzy trophy wife. 182 00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:25,058 First of all, I thought we agreed 183 00:05:25,092 --> 00:05:27,194 we had the rare dual-trophy-wife situation. 184 00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:28,896 Yeah. And aside from that, 185 00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:32,032 maybe it's because I'm a little more, you know, assertive. 186 00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:34,067 Do you think so? Because I actually have thought that. 187 00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:35,869 I mean, maybe I'm too passive, 188 00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:38,305 which could be why my career has stalled... No. 189 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:41,875 ...or I agreed to have sex with all three women who asked me. 190 00:05:41,909 --> 00:05:43,911 Okay. Oh, it was so gentle... 191 00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:45,245 Mm-hmm. ...and gross. 192 00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:46,814 You know what? Well, now's your chance. 193 00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:49,550 You can show Francisco that you're the big dog. 194 00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:51,585 It's all about body language, okay? 195 00:05:51,619 --> 00:05:52,820 Show him you can lead the pack. 196 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,054 Here you go, Boss. 197 00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:55,689 Let me know which one you like best, all right? 198 00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:58,659 Well, when we decide, we will let you know. 199 00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:01,595 But first, I wanted to talk about the, uh -- the dishwasher. 200 00:06:01,629 --> 00:06:03,697 Uh, I wanted it over here on the left, 201 00:06:03,731 --> 00:06:05,866 but now, for some reason, it's on the right. 202 00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:08,569 I would like it on the left like I asked. 203 00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:09,737 Asserted? 204 00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:11,104 Um... No, no, no, no. 205 00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:13,340 Eyes -- Eyes over here, okay? This -- This is my thing. 206 00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:14,542 Well, let me show you something. 207 00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:15,543 Yeah. All right, look under the sink. 208 00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:16,777 Will do. 209 00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:19,413 Go down. All the way. 210 00:06:19,447 --> 00:06:21,181 Okay, now, get in there. 211 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,350 Look up. Do you see that post on your left? 212 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:24,518 Wait. Ho-- Okay. 213 00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:25,753 I can't move that, 214 00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:27,888 which is why the dishwasher needs to stay where it is. 215 00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:30,223 Anything else? 216 00:06:30,257 --> 00:06:32,092 No, I'm good. 217 00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:33,694 Got some sawdust on your shirt. 218 00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:36,930 [ Laughing ] It tickles. 219 00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:43,203 [ Whispers ] Hey, kid. Wake up. 220 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:45,038 We need to talk. 221 00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:46,039 What? 222 00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:48,909 Your mom's car got a big dent in it. 223 00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:50,878 Now, I know you were with her. 224 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,546 Did you see how that happened? 225 00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:56,383 Someone must have hit the car when we were in the store. 226 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:57,751 That's what your mom said, 227 00:06:57,785 --> 00:07:00,788 but if it was something else, like, I don't know, 228 00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:03,791 she got into a little fender bender, you could tell me. 229 00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:07,160 Someone must have hit the car when we were in the store. 230 00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:09,396 I know she got to you, but, uh... 231 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,732 I need you to tell me the truth. 232 00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,433 Is that ice cream for me? 233 00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:14,434 Could be. 234 00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:16,470 What happened to your mom's car? 235 00:07:16,504 --> 00:07:18,806 Mmmmm... 236 00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:20,574 I can wait all day, 237 00:07:20,608 --> 00:07:23,243 but the trouble with ice cream is, it melts. 238 00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:24,645 I like it when it melts. 239 00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:25,913 What do you mean you like it when it melts? 240 00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,481 Nobody likes ice cream when it melts. 241 00:07:27,515 --> 00:07:28,482 It's like soup. 242 00:07:28,516 --> 00:07:29,483 You hate soup. 243 00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:30,618 Not chocolate soup. 244 00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:32,452 Look, we're getting off track here. 245 00:07:32,486 --> 00:07:34,421 Tell me what happened to your mom's car, 246 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:35,956 and you can have your ice cream. 247 00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:37,491 Hello, Jay. 248 00:07:37,525 --> 00:07:38,492 Gloria, I... 249 00:07:38,526 --> 00:07:39,493 Look at you, 250 00:07:39,527 --> 00:07:41,461 trying to bribe a five-year-old. 251 00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:42,930 You should be ashamed. 252 00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,932 Let's go, Joe. Now that you're awake, 253 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:47,501 Mommy's gonna fix you a healthy snack. 254 00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:54,341 Check her phone. 255 00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:56,276 Huh? Check her phone. 256 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:57,678 And leave the ice cream. 257 00:07:57,711 --> 00:07:59,680 It'll be nice and warm when I get back. 258 00:08:03,717 --> 00:08:05,653 Oh, Phil, could you change the lightbulb down in the kitchen? 259 00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:07,187 First you ask me to help clean the window screens. 260 00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:09,356 Now you want me to do something with a ladder and electricity? 261 00:08:09,389 --> 00:08:11,124 Have you forgotten about my underwear, Claire? 262 00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:13,527 Look, I have friends whose husbands are mean 263 00:08:13,561 --> 00:08:15,663 or drink too much or don't come home at all. 264 00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:18,532 And in that moment, I envied those friends. 265 00:08:18,566 --> 00:08:21,034 Fine. I will change the lightbulb in the kitchen. 266 00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:24,872 You can put away this nice, soft, fluffy laundry. 267 00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:26,473 All right. Don't worry. 268 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,676 There's not even any zippers or buttons. 269 00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:30,210 Nothing sharp in there. 270 00:08:30,243 --> 00:08:31,712 Wouldn't want you to lose a finger 271 00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:34,047 in a tragic folding incident. 272 00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:36,750 [ Doorbell rings ] 273 00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:38,418 Oh, hey. 274 00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:40,487 I was putting away that harmless laundry 275 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:41,855 when I stepped on Luke's skateboard, 276 00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:43,256 rolled out the screenless window, 277 00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:44,391 and landed in the hedge. 278 00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:45,759 But you're right. 279 00:08:45,793 --> 00:08:48,095 I'm sure it had nothing to do with the underwear. 280 00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:49,429 It's self-fulfilling. 281 00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:51,498 Phil believes something bad is gonna happen, 282 00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,767 so he makes it happen. 283 00:08:53,801 --> 00:08:56,203 Ow! Paper cut. 284 00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:57,671 Of course, today. 285 00:08:57,705 --> 00:08:58,772 Seriously? 286 00:08:58,806 --> 00:09:00,507 Is this part of the underwear prophecy? 287 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,475 Aren't you being a little dramatic? 288 00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:07,047 Phil? 289 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,449 Little bit harder to connect the dots on that one. 290 00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:12,385 But coincidences do happen. 291 00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:13,587 Honey, it's fine. 292 00:09:13,621 --> 00:09:15,188 We'll just finish our errands on a day 293 00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:16,624 when you catch your underwear. 294 00:09:16,657 --> 00:09:18,025 Oh, do you have the tickets? 295 00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:20,393 They're in the car, but I don't think I should drive. 296 00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:22,362 Fine, but you are driving home, 297 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,865 because today, I'm reelin' in the wine. 298 00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,900 Oh, you've got the keys. Can you toss them to me? 299 00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:28,602 Yeah, here. No! 300 00:09:28,636 --> 00:09:31,004 [ Chitters ] [ Screams ] 301 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:35,242 No! Those are our keys! Stop! 302 00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:39,579 Man plans to go to Steely Dan. God laughs. 303 00:09:40,848 --> 00:09:42,950 Damn it. Haley has our other set of keys. 304 00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:46,553 Yes, Claire, I do think it bit me a little! 305 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,221 Gloria, I'm sorry. 306 00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:49,623 You're my wife. 307 00:09:49,657 --> 00:09:51,224 I love you, and I trust you. 308 00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:52,960 You can't reason with a sociopath. 309 00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:54,828 You lure them with kindness. 310 00:09:54,862 --> 00:09:57,631 You lull them into thinking you're on the same side, 311 00:09:57,665 --> 00:10:00,834 and then nail them with incontrovertible evidence, 312 00:10:00,868 --> 00:10:02,936 which I had. 313 00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:05,072 I also found out I'm still listed in her phone 314 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,641 as "Jay, Red Tracksuit." 315 00:10:07,675 --> 00:10:10,443 If you say you weren't in an accident, I believe you. 316 00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:12,312 Thank you, baby. 317 00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:15,148 There is just... one more thing. 318 00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:16,616 Is that my phone? 319 00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:18,518 Yeah. You've got a lot of interesting pictures here, 320 00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:20,253 but especially this one. 321 00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:22,289 It looks like the front end of your car 322 00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:24,792 is rammed into the back end of this car. 323 00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:26,760 Now, I'm not an insurance adjuster, 324 00:10:26,794 --> 00:10:29,129 but I would say that that's pretty solid proof 325 00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:30,463 you were in an accident. 326 00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:31,699 That's not my car. 327 00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:33,801 But why would you take a picture of some random accident? 328 00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:36,336 To remind me of how precious life is. 329 00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:37,437 That's your license plate. 330 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:40,007 Do you even know who makes license plates, Jay? 331 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,274 Prisoners! 332 00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:43,977 Are you gonna take the word of a convicted felon 333 00:10:44,011 --> 00:10:45,345 over your wife's? 334 00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:46,947 Makes no sense. Exactly. 335 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,348 What is your problem?! 336 00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:49,883 Don't you see what this is doing to me?! 337 00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:52,485 I need to know that you can admit when you made a mistake. 338 00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:54,722 I know there's good in you, Gloria! 339 00:10:54,755 --> 00:10:56,924 Here you go. 340 00:10:59,727 --> 00:11:01,528 I -- I am so sorry. [ Chuckles ] 341 00:11:01,561 --> 00:11:02,963 Cherish this. 342 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,899 It was the longest I've been without a phone since phones. 343 00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:08,501 It was hard at first -- the twitching thumbs, 344 00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:11,972 the phantom vibrations, salads left un-Instagrammed. 345 00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,907 But then the strangest thing happened. 346 00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:18,245 Have you ever stopped to smell these things? 347 00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:25,185 [ Laughs ] It's been years since I LOL'd IRL. 348 00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:28,021 I even found an old book in the truck and started reading it. 349 00:11:28,055 --> 00:11:30,623 The only problem was, people kept interrupting. 350 00:11:34,594 --> 00:11:36,229 I didn't need a phone anymore. 351 00:11:36,263 --> 00:11:38,165 I just needed a quiet place to find out 352 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,500 how they kill that mockingbird. 353 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:43,603 Hey, excuse me. 354 00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,205 Excuse me! 355 00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:47,908 S-Sorry to bother you while you sand, Francisco, um -- 356 00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:49,276 Oh, that's cute. 357 00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:51,511 I just want to revisit the paint color we chose for the cabinets. 358 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,013 Do you still have the old sample? 359 00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:54,782 Uh, maybe. I'll go look. Okay. 360 00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:56,950 Did you discuss this with, uh -- with the boss? 361 00:11:56,984 --> 00:11:59,119 I don't have to discuss it with -- Daddy, where's Daddy? 362 00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:00,187 Oh. Yeah, what do you need? 363 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,755 My suitcase. Why? 364 00:12:01,789 --> 00:12:03,857 I'm going to Disneyland with Tricia's family. 365 00:12:03,891 --> 00:12:05,625 Cam: Sweetie, I already packed your suitcase. 366 00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:07,961 Ugh, there's gonna be too many shoes. 367 00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:09,897 When did we decide that Lily could go to Disneyland? 368 00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:11,464 I thought we were gonna talk about this. 369 00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:12,766 She's missing one day of school. 370 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:14,701 I missed half of the fifth grade because of a pig bite, 371 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,403 and I'm just as educated as anyone else. 372 00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:19,306 Really? When we met, you thought you grew up in Central America. 373 00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:21,875 Missouri is in the center of America. 374 00:12:21,909 --> 00:12:24,211 Okay. You also thought that the cavemen killed the dinosaurs. 375 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,246 Were you there? Okay, t-the point is, 376 00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:28,648 we should be making these decisions together. 377 00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:30,250 Is this the one you wanted? 378 00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:32,152 Yes. What's that doing back in here? 379 00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:34,988 I just wanted to revisit the original paint color. 380 00:12:35,022 --> 00:12:36,656 Oh, okay. 381 00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:37,891 Asserting. Good. 382 00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:39,726 Asserting. 383 00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:42,595 [ Indistinct conversation ] 384 00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:43,897 [ Both laugh ] 385 00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:45,165 Okay. That was good. 386 00:12:45,198 --> 00:12:47,100 Can I talk to you for a second? 387 00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:49,636 Uh, what's up with the whispering and the laughing? 388 00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:50,770 He just made a joke. 389 00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:51,805 At my expense? 390 00:12:51,839 --> 00:12:53,640 No, it was about his wife's cooking, 391 00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:56,009 which can't be as stale as his material. 392 00:12:56,043 --> 00:12:57,110 What's this about? 393 00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:58,611 You undermined me with Lily, 394 00:12:58,645 --> 00:13:01,181 and now I'm worried that you're doing the same thing with Francisco. 395 00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:03,783 Mitchell, we are on the same team here. [ Sighs ] 396 00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:05,285 We both want a beautiful kitchen, 397 00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:08,621 and we both want it done as soon as possible. Yes. 398 00:13:08,655 --> 00:13:10,323 [ Pam sighs ] Stop working! 399 00:13:10,357 --> 00:13:12,259 Drills down! Drills down! I want you so bad. 400 00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:14,995 If only I could reach out and touch you. [ Giggles ] 401 00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:16,529 Enough with the eavesdropping. 402 00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:17,931 Come on. Yeah. You know what? 403 00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:19,599 If that little train wreck's getting back together with Bo, 404 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:20,968 I need to deal with this directly. 405 00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:22,569 No, you have to stay here -- Ugh. 406 00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:26,439 Pameron Jessica Tucker, listen to me. 407 00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:29,209 You need to stop those dirty jailbird phone calls right this second with Bo, 408 00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:30,510 or I am -- Oh, my God! 409 00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:33,013 You've been listening in on my private conversation? 410 00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:34,547 You should be ashamed of yourself. 411 00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:36,283 Talking like a girl from Cricketsville -- 412 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:37,851 you were raised better than that. 413 00:13:37,885 --> 00:13:40,020 You stay the hell out of my business. 414 00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:42,789 And stop looking down your nose at Cricketsville. 415 00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:45,658 They got a Target now with a Banksy on the side of it. 416 00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:49,729 Yeah, right. I'm sure Banksy drove to Cricketsville and painted on the s-- 417 00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:51,298 Oh, you mean the ATM. 418 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:54,267 Well, what the hell else would I be talking about? 419 00:13:56,436 --> 00:13:58,471 Hi, my name is Cameron Tucker, 420 00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:01,374 and I would like to speak to one of your inmates. 421 00:14:01,408 --> 00:14:04,644 His name is Bo Johnson. 422 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,413 Sally Mae Jenkins? 423 00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:09,082 Oh, of course I remember you! 424 00:14:09,116 --> 00:14:10,383 Oh, wait, but -- 425 00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:12,252 I'm not surprised you're answering phones at a prison. 426 00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:14,521 You always had the prettiest voice in Central America. 427 00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:19,993 You called Bo, you ginormous mountain of stupid?! 428 00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:21,261 Yeah, that's right, I did. 429 00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:22,729 And I told him you were getting your life together here 430 00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:24,597 with your baby and he needed to back off. 431 00:14:24,631 --> 00:14:26,533 He didn't even know I had his baby. 432 00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:27,767 What? Now he knows where I am. 433 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,403 He's gonna come looking for me when he gets out! 434 00:14:30,437 --> 00:14:33,606 You ruined everything, you giant, horse-faced dummy. 435 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,375 I'm not sure why every insult needs a size component. 436 00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:36,409 Look, I'm really sorry. 437 00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:38,711 I had no idea that wasn't Bo on the phone. 438 00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:41,748 Who else would you be so... intimate with? 439 00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:44,517 Anybody who can pay three bucks a minute for nasty talk. 440 00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:47,554 Okay, you're a phone-sex operator? 441 00:14:47,587 --> 00:14:50,057 My real-person modeling gigs haven't been paying the bills. 442 00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:52,592 And I needed a job where I could stay at home with the baby. 443 00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:54,027 I didn't even know that still existed. 444 00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:55,895 Like, I thought it was all apps and the Internet now. 445 00:14:55,929 --> 00:14:59,399 Not everyone leads your coastal-elite lifestyle, Cam. 446 00:14:59,432 --> 00:15:03,070 There's a whole country full of decent, hardworking Americans 447 00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:05,605 who still want to torque their doolies on the phone, 448 00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:07,774 you gargantuan snob! 449 00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:09,076 Just could've said "snob." 450 00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:10,410 [ Door slams ] 451 00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:18,918 Oh, get over yourself. I'm drawing the tree. 452 00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:22,889 Jay? I tried to call you. 453 00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:23,890 Where's your phone? 454 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,125 It's in my room. 455 00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:26,759 I'm in a creative space right now. 456 00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:28,428 She's cute. 457 00:15:30,998 --> 00:15:32,932 I'm going through a little something with your mom. 458 00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:34,267 I need your take on it. 459 00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:36,269 Hm. I'm excited to see what boundaries we cross here. 460 00:15:36,303 --> 00:15:37,937 She had a little fender bender. 461 00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:39,139 I've got her dead to rights -- 462 00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:40,773 And she won't admit it. Yes. 463 00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:42,142 She never admits when she's wrong. 464 00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:44,444 Thank you. I was beginning to think I was the crazy one. 465 00:15:44,477 --> 00:15:45,945 Yeah, she'll do that to you. 466 00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:47,680 I got IBS when she refused to admit 467 00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:49,682 that she threw out my collection of Playbills. 468 00:15:49,716 --> 00:15:52,719 I'm gonna pretend you said "the flu" and Playboys and move on. 469 00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:55,955 Eh... 470 00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:58,158 I guess I... miss you being around 471 00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:00,693 to share that eye roll when she gets kooky. 472 00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:02,595 I always thought you were rolling your eyes at me. 473 00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,464 Well, that, too. 474 00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:06,266 At least she's worth it, right? 475 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:08,801 Definitely. 476 00:16:08,835 --> 00:16:10,970 So, did she ever cop to the Playbills? 477 00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:12,339 You know what? 478 00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:15,008 Yeah, eventually, but only because she did something worse. 479 00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:16,776 Wow. It's actually a good thing. 480 00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:18,445 As long as she's denying the accident, 481 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,547 you know that's the worst thing she's done. 482 00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:22,682 Thanks, kiddo. 483 00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:24,851 Hey, while you're here, I wouldn't mind picking your brain 484 00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:26,286 about a little problem I'm having -- 485 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:27,787 well, one of my characters. 486 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,289 He finds himself at a crossroads -- 487 00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:30,857 Let's keep this special. 488 00:16:32,925 --> 00:16:34,294 [ Door opens ] 489 00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,029 Gloria, I've been thinking. 490 00:16:36,063 --> 00:16:38,531 That whole accident thing? I'm dropping it. 491 00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:40,533 You say it didn't happen, it didn't happen. 492 00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:41,534 It happened. 493 00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:42,535 What, are you admitting it? 494 00:16:42,569 --> 00:16:45,538 Yes. The accident -- it was my fault. 495 00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:47,540 Please forgive me, mi amor. 496 00:16:47,574 --> 00:16:49,742 Uh-oh. 497 00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:50,910 Where's Stella? 498 00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:52,745 -And, Francisco... -Yeah, Boss? 499 00:16:52,779 --> 00:16:54,314 ...I guess we should take another look 500 00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:56,249 at this cabinet color Mitchell revived from the dead. 501 00:16:56,283 --> 00:16:59,152 To be fair, let's look at it in the kitchen light. 502 00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:01,221 So, imagine I'm entertaining. 503 00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:03,923 I'm cooking. I'm throwing out delightful quips to my guests. 504 00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:04,991 Be honest -- does it wash me out? 505 00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:06,059 [ Whispers ] It washes me out. 506 00:17:06,093 --> 00:17:07,260 These are the kind of conversations 507 00:17:07,294 --> 00:17:08,895 I snuck under the fence for? 508 00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:09,996 Hm? Is that funny? 509 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,364 Oh. It's in my act. 510 00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:12,765 It's... I also do this bit, though, 511 00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:14,901 where I go to a lumberyard and I meet this hot girl and -- 512 00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:16,236 Okay. I'm gonna stop you right there. 513 00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:18,671 If the punch line has anything to do with wood, 514 00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:19,939 you're better than that. 515 00:17:19,972 --> 00:17:22,175 Yes, I chose to be entombed in a wall 516 00:17:22,209 --> 00:17:25,445 rather than admit to Cam that I was eavesdropping. 517 00:17:25,478 --> 00:17:27,114 And, yes, I realize couple's counseling 518 00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:28,215 should be back on the table. 519 00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:29,949 This color Mitchell wants... 520 00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:31,418 You don't seem to like it. 521 00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:35,522 I don't love it. But he does, and let's just go with it, 522 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,357 'cause it -- I want to make him happy. 523 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,359 Wow. My wife wouldn't even ask me. 524 00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,027 You're very nice. He's lucky to have you. 525 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,595 I'm the lucky one, trust me. 526 00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:45,265 You know, we start every morning off in this kitchen, and I -- 527 00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:47,967 I want us both to walk in here and see something we each love. 528 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:51,871 I do! I-I do see something I love! 529 00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:53,106 It's you. 530 00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:54,274 Mitchell! Oh. 531 00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:55,975 What in the he-- 532 00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:57,310 You were eavesdropping. 533 00:17:57,344 --> 00:17:59,579 I'm sorry. I-I stand by what I said. 534 00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:01,248 Eavesdropping is wrong. 535 00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:04,117 I-I should have just asked, uh, Francisco myself. 536 00:18:04,151 --> 00:18:07,220 W-Why is it you call him "Boss" and me "Mitch"? 537 00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:08,721 Oh, uh, uh... 538 00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:10,723 It's okay. You can tell me. I-I can take it. 539 00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:12,792 Well, uh, I can't remember his name. 540 00:18:12,825 --> 00:18:14,561 What? Really? 541 00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:16,296 You know, I keep wanting to say "Krang," 542 00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:17,797 but I know that's not right. 543 00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:18,898 Unless it is? 544 00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,333 It's Cam. It's Cam. 545 00:18:20,367 --> 00:18:23,436 Okay. We have spent every day together, Francisco. 546 00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:24,771 I'm a little offended. 547 00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:26,606 Oh. Well, if it makes you feel any better, 548 00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:28,675 my name's actually Fernando. 549 00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:30,477 Oh. It does help. 550 00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:34,113 Ah! There she is. 551 00:18:34,147 --> 00:18:35,114 Both: Haley! 552 00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:36,649 Haley! 553 00:18:36,683 --> 00:18:38,618 -Haley! -Oh, my God! 554 00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:40,086 What is going on?! 555 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,422 Damn it! We need those keys! 556 00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:43,923 Got to get to the concert before the roadies 557 00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:46,159 pick all the hot chicks that get to party backstage. 558 00:18:46,193 --> 00:18:47,594 I'm confused. 559 00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:50,763 Even back in the day, they weren't exactly -- Haley! 560 00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:53,166 You know what? I'll go get them. 561 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:54,467 No. No. You can't. 562 00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:56,636 Um, not today. 563 00:18:56,669 --> 00:18:58,004 You believe in the curse, don't you? 564 00:18:58,037 --> 00:18:59,506 I don't understand it. 565 00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:01,441 Bad things have been happening to you all day. 566 00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:02,642 Maybe... 567 00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:03,676 Maybe it's the underwear. 568 00:19:03,710 --> 00:19:05,545 I just -- I can't take a chance. 569 00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:07,380 You stay here. No, no, no, no, no. 570 00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:09,616 You getting hurt is the worst possible thing 571 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,451 that could happen to me. [ Sighs ] 572 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,119 Tell the kids I love them. 573 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:14,221 Oh, honey. 574 00:19:14,254 --> 00:19:15,788 Are you, uh -- Are you not wearing a bra? 575 00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:17,290 Eh. Oh. 576 00:19:17,324 --> 00:19:18,591 All right, be safe. 577 00:19:22,929 --> 00:19:25,498 Oh, my God. 578 00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:26,666 That's Dunphy. 579 00:19:26,699 --> 00:19:28,401 50 bucks to the first guy who hits him, huh? 580 00:19:28,435 --> 00:19:29,602 Go. 581 00:19:31,338 --> 00:19:32,505 Haley! 582 00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:35,842 Oh, Dad? 583 00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:37,677 [ Breathless ] Okay, listen. 584 00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:40,079 I lost my car keys. I need the spare set. 585 00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:42,014 I know that makes me a hypocrite. 586 00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:44,217 But you have every right to be angry with me. 587 00:19:44,251 --> 00:19:45,852 How could I be angry when there's so much 588 00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:47,820 to be grateful for? 589 00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:49,489 Is that a -- a book? 590 00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:52,158 I never would have picked it up if you had bought me a new phone. 591 00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:55,962 You've gotten a little gray. I like it. 592 00:19:58,398 --> 00:20:00,066 Honey...the keys? 593 00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:02,669 Sorry. I was distracted by those bumblebees. 594 00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:05,705 Shh, listen -- they're talking to each other. 595 00:20:10,477 --> 00:20:11,544 Hm. 596 00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:14,481 Huh. 597 00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:18,017 -Ow! -Yeah! 598 00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:19,218 [ Laughs ] 599 00:20:19,252 --> 00:20:20,887 Is that freakin' Gil? 600 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,590 Yes! Yes, yes, yes! 601 00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:26,092 Well, that could happen any day. 602 00:20:29,095 --> 00:20:31,030 He's still moving! Machine-gun him! 603 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:32,265 Just hit as fast as you can! 604 00:20:32,299 --> 00:20:35,468 Dear God! He's got me dialed in! 605 00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,441 Haley: Oh, morning, guys. You missed a beautiful sunrise. 606 00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:44,043 You know, living without a phone these past few days 607 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,712 has been such a gift. 608 00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:48,781 Colors are brighter. Tastes are tastier. 609 00:20:48,815 --> 00:20:50,550 Have you ever eaten a peach? 610 00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,719 I mean, really eaten a peach? 611 00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:54,787 Well, most of this is in my short story. 612 00:20:54,821 --> 00:20:56,289 The best part, though, has been 613 00:20:56,323 --> 00:20:57,757 really getting to know you two. 614 00:20:57,790 --> 00:20:59,926 Dad, you are so funny. 615 00:20:59,959 --> 00:21:01,828 And you have such kind eyes. 616 00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:02,829 And, Mom -- 617 00:21:02,862 --> 00:21:04,997 president of a closet company? 618 00:21:05,031 --> 00:21:07,600 Way to go! 619 00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:08,635 I guess that's why it makes it 620 00:21:08,668 --> 00:21:10,136 so hard to say goodbye. 621 00:21:11,804 --> 00:21:13,840 Came in this morning. Luke set it up for me. 622 00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:16,108 He really shot up, huh? [ Cellphone dinging, chiming ] 623 00:21:16,142 --> 00:21:18,645 Anyway, in the weeks to come, 624 00:21:18,678 --> 00:21:20,613 try and remember that, uh... [ Cellphone dinging, chiming ] 625 00:21:20,647 --> 00:21:24,183 Wh-- That skank -- No way!