1 00:00:03,171 --> 00:00:05,173 I wonder what Manny's doing right now. 2 00:00:05,206 --> 00:00:06,674 Why don't you call him? 3 00:00:06,707 --> 00:00:08,242 You call him. I don't care what he's doing. 4 00:00:08,276 --> 00:00:09,677 I'm trying not to bug him. 5 00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:11,879 He said that he needed some time to adjust to college, 6 00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:13,047 so I'm giving him -- 7 00:00:13,081 --> 00:00:14,348 Stop the car! 8 00:00:14,382 --> 00:00:16,217 [ Tires screeching ] [ All scream ] 9 00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:17,751 Why would you do that?! 10 00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:20,654 I think that's Shorty. 11 00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:21,922 Shorty and I have been best friends 12 00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:23,657 for as long as I can remember. 13 00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:26,160 He and his wife, Darlene, moved to Costa Rica 14 00:00:26,194 --> 00:00:29,163 a few years back for, uh -- I don't know why. 15 00:00:29,197 --> 00:00:32,166 Ruin his life eating beans, fighting malaria, 16 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:33,901 drinking water people bathe in? 17 00:00:33,934 --> 00:00:35,169 This. 18 00:00:35,203 --> 00:00:38,239 This is when you sound racist! 19 00:00:38,272 --> 00:00:40,040 You come to town and you don't tell me? 20 00:00:40,074 --> 00:00:41,342 I ought to punch you in the neck, 21 00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:42,343 you son of a bitch. 22 00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:43,344 Jay! 23 00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:44,745 I want to kick you in the knee, 24 00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:45,946 you stupid idiot! 25 00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:47,281 That might not be a thing. 26 00:00:47,315 --> 00:00:49,049 You're a terrible best friend. 27 00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:50,951 Don't yell at me. I'm only here a couple of days. 28 00:00:50,984 --> 00:00:53,521 It was last-minute. I was gonna call. 29 00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:54,722 This Joe? 30 00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:56,023 You're huge. 31 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,359 Eh, I can be bigger. 32 00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:00,094 What are you doing? Where are you staying? 33 00:01:00,128 --> 00:01:01,595 I'm checking in at the hotel over there. 34 00:01:01,629 --> 00:01:02,963 No hotels. 35 00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:04,398 You're as bad with money as you are with pants. 36 00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:05,899 What's going on down there, anyway? 37 00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:07,201 These? 38 00:01:07,235 --> 00:01:08,569 Palazzos. 39 00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:10,138 Never felt so comfortable. 40 00:01:10,171 --> 00:01:11,939 Everything goes where it wants to go. 41 00:01:11,972 --> 00:01:13,374 [ Chuckles ] 42 00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,109 Shorty, why don't you come and stay with us? 43 00:01:15,143 --> 00:01:16,744 You will even get your own room 44 00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:18,279 'cause Manny's off to college. 45 00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:20,248 College?! How's he doing? 46 00:01:20,281 --> 00:01:22,716 I wish I knew. He needed some space. 47 00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:24,218 In the meantime, 48 00:01:24,252 --> 00:01:26,053 she sends him a care package the size of a Fiat, 49 00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:28,156 which included a pack of my favorite sausage. 50 00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:29,423 I did not put the sausage -- 51 00:01:29,457 --> 00:01:31,159 Well, where did it go, then?! I know what I ate! 52 00:01:31,192 --> 00:01:32,593 There's too many things upsetting me right now. 53 00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:33,594 Go get your stuff. 54 00:01:33,627 --> 00:01:35,296 Meet us back at the house. It's done. 55 00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:36,630 You got it! Yes! 56 00:01:36,664 --> 00:01:38,566 It's gonna be so nice since Manny's gone 57 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,534 to have somebody fun again in the house. 58 00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:45,439 -- Captions by VITAC -- 59 00:01:45,473 --> 00:01:48,409 Captioning Provided by 20th Century Fox Television and ABC, Inc. 60 00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:51,145 and brought to you by Ford. We go further, so you can. 61 00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:56,116 ** 62 00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:58,152 Are you ready for this, big boy? 63 00:01:58,186 --> 00:01:59,453 Oh, I'm ready. 64 00:01:59,487 --> 00:02:02,089 And it's gonna get pretty messy. 65 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,424 Mm! 66 00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,626 So, do you want to be blue or gold? 67 00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:06,627 I'll be blue. 68 00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:07,861 'Cause I'm cool -- 69 00:02:07,895 --> 00:02:09,430 Aah! That tickles! 70 00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,765 Claire recently went to a bachelorette party 71 00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:14,935 where they gave everyone a passion painting kit. 72 00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,537 The idea is that you and your partner 73 00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:18,539 cover one another in paint -- 74 00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:20,140 get down on the canvas. 75 00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:22,710 And then get down on the canvas. 76 00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:24,278 [ Laughs ] 77 00:02:24,312 --> 00:02:25,979 [ Laughs ] Stop squirming, Phil. 78 00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:27,448 I'm never gonna get this paint on you. 79 00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:28,549 Okay, I'll do you. 80 00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:30,484 You're gonna be so gold, you'll like an Oscar. 81 00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:31,952 [ Chuckles ] 82 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:34,488 So many people to thank. Oh, yeah. 83 00:02:34,522 --> 00:02:35,823 [ Cellphone rings ] 84 00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:37,291 Oh, crap, it's Alex. 85 00:02:37,325 --> 00:02:38,359 Just ignore it. 86 00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:40,828 I can't. What if something's wrong? 87 00:02:40,861 --> 00:02:42,730 Hi, honey. Everything okay? 88 00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,332 Alex: Yeah, I'm just, uh, letting you know 89 00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:45,666 I'm sleeping at home tonight. 90 00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,335 Uh, h-how far away are you? 91 00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:48,369 About 20 minutes. 92 00:02:48,402 --> 00:02:50,704 Oh, that leaves 10 minutes for cleanup. 93 00:02:50,738 --> 00:02:53,707 Also, is it okay if, um, Ben stays over tonight? 94 00:02:53,741 --> 00:02:54,742 [ Sighs ] Sure. 95 00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:56,877 I guess if his mommy says it's okay. 96 00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:58,546 [ Scoffs ] Mom, you don't have to take a shot at Ben 97 00:02:58,579 --> 00:03:00,013 every time he comes up. 98 00:03:00,047 --> 00:03:02,216 [ Scoffs ] Yeah, right, like I wouldn't ask my mom. 99 00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:03,651 I'm really supposed to ignore that? 100 00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:05,353 Listen, he is my boyfriend, 101 00:03:05,386 --> 00:03:07,087 and I'm getting really tired of this. Oh, calm down. 102 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:09,223 It was just a joke. Well, it's not funny! 103 00:03:09,257 --> 00:03:10,924 When you attack Ben, you attack me. 104 00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:12,526 Yeah, yeah, I got it. 105 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:13,861 [ Sighs ] Ugh! 106 00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:15,396 Now, where were we? 107 00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:17,331 Honey, I kind of think maybe the moment has passed. 108 00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:19,199 [ Cellphone rings ] 109 00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:20,734 Ohh, it's my dad. What now? 110 00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:21,902 Just ignore it. 111 00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:23,904 I can't. What if something's wrong? 112 00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:25,539 Jay: Hey, honey. Hi, Dad. 113 00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:26,840 Shorty's in town! 114 00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:28,942 I need that set of golf clubs I gave to Phil. 115 00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:31,011 That bonehead's certainly not putting them to any good use. 116 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:33,381 Why, Dad? Why do you always have to attack him? 117 00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:35,082 Oh, calm down. It was just a joke. 118 00:03:35,115 --> 00:03:37,551 I'll pick them up in the morning. 119 00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:40,087 He pisses me off so much! 120 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:41,589 Come on! Let's do this! 121 00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:43,123 This doesn't feel like it's about me. 122 00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:45,092 I'm gonna hop in the shower. 123 00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:46,226 What? 124 00:03:47,461 --> 00:03:49,463 What's been going on with you lately? 125 00:03:49,497 --> 00:03:50,798 You look so handsome. 126 00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:52,032 Oh, well, thank you, sweetie. 127 00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:53,401 You know what, 128 00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:54,568 I added a serum step to my skin-care regimen. 129 00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:56,203 W-Wait a minute. 130 00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:57,638 You're just angling for horseback-riding lessons, 131 00:03:57,671 --> 00:03:58,639 aren't you? 132 00:03:58,672 --> 00:04:00,408 Come on! No. 133 00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:01,442 You're not gonna become one of those over-scheduled kids 134 00:04:01,475 --> 00:04:02,776 that burns out at 13 135 00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:04,578 and wears combat boots to the beach. 136 00:04:04,612 --> 00:04:06,380 I'm the least-busy Asian kid in my school. 137 00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:08,282 Great. Take the other end of this sheet 138 00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:09,950 and help me make up the bed for Lionel. 139 00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:10,984 Lionel's staying here tonight? 140 00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:12,420 Yes. Yes. 141 00:04:12,453 --> 00:04:13,321 Pepper and Ronaldo are dropping him off. 142 00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:15,155 Last year, Pepper and Ronaldo told us 143 00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:16,590 that they wanted to become parents 144 00:04:16,624 --> 00:04:18,559 and were on a quest to acquire Rihanna's eggs. 145 00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:20,561 And we said, "Or, you rich queens, 146 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:22,730 you could provide a home for a child that needs one." 147 00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,131 So they adopted, 148 00:04:24,164 --> 00:04:25,766 and we are a little nervous about how it's going 149 00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:28,402 because, um, when they first introduced us to Lionel, 150 00:04:28,436 --> 00:04:30,471 we could tell that it wasn't a great fit. 151 00:04:30,504 --> 00:04:32,673 Hi, Lionel, it's nice meeting you. 152 00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:34,274 Hey. Cool shirt. 153 00:04:34,308 --> 00:04:36,310 It's a basketball costume. 154 00:04:36,344 --> 00:04:37,611 Jersey. 155 00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:38,779 Jersey. Right. 156 00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:40,614 Like "Jersey Boys." 157 00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:42,750 Okay, somebody fix me a drink. 158 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,952 We just got cheeseburgers out of a window 159 00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:46,186 and ate in our car. 160 00:04:46,219 --> 00:04:48,255 Do we have to disclose that when we sell it? 161 00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,157 It seemed like a bit of a rocky start, 162 00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:51,525 but Pepper said it's going well. 163 00:04:51,559 --> 00:04:53,160 Parenting does change you. 164 00:04:53,193 --> 00:04:55,162 You know, before Lily, I could be so dramatic. 165 00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:57,365 Oh, and I used to be so uptight. But look at us now. 166 00:04:57,398 --> 00:04:58,466 Oh, sorry. 167 00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:00,768 Okay, your hand almost went in my mouth. 168 00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:02,436 Come in, come in. 169 00:05:02,470 --> 00:05:03,971 Ohh! I like this! 170 00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:06,940 It's a lot better than what was here before. 171 00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:08,208 Uh, our kitchen was there before. 172 00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:09,543 [ Chuckles ] 173 00:05:09,577 --> 00:05:11,278 Am I being unclear? 174 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,881 Okay, well, Lionel, don't you look sharp? 175 00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:16,850 It's Burberry from Harrods in London. Right? 176 00:05:16,884 --> 00:05:19,219 Ohh, you wonderful child. 177 00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:21,955 You won't need those flashcards much longer. 178 00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:23,724 Here, for Lionel's stay -- 179 00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:25,459 some snacks, toiletries, 180 00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:28,496 a design magazine you two could also flip through. 181 00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:29,530 Okay, so, Lionel, uh, 182 00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:30,898 we have you set up here in the den. 183 00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:32,332 That's where the TV is, 184 00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:35,202 and Cam tells me that we have a sports package. 185 00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:36,336 That's okay. 186 00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:37,738 I should practice my cursive. 187 00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:39,673 Pepper says penmanship is a lost art. 188 00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:41,341 Yes. As are thank-you notes, 189 00:05:41,375 --> 00:05:42,743 which is why we can only assume 190 00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:44,545 you enjoyed our anniversary gift. 191 00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:47,214 Anyway, we have to get to the airport. 192 00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:49,550 How do we say goodbye, Lionel? 193 00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:50,718 Au revoir. 194 00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:52,486 Come walk us to the door. 195 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:54,354 What have they done to him? 196 00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:56,724 Turned him into a little black Pepper. 197 00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:57,825 [ Both chuckle ] 198 00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,359 It's so infuriating. 199 00:05:59,393 --> 00:06:01,228 She treats you like you're not even a man. 200 00:06:01,261 --> 00:06:02,563 Doesn't that bother you? 201 00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:04,364 You know, if you please everyone, 202 00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:05,699 you're not making enough progress. 203 00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:06,900 Cheryl Sandberg. 204 00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:08,569 Hey, is this garbage? 205 00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:09,670 I don't know. 206 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,004 What's in it? 207 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:14,608 Uh, "Passion Painting Erotic Art Kit"? 208 00:06:14,642 --> 00:06:16,744 What is that? 209 00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:18,712 Oh, my God.Oh, my God. 210 00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:19,947 Ew! 211 00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:22,182 Gross! Ugh! Uh. 212 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:23,417 You know what? 213 00:06:23,451 --> 00:06:25,686 If she wants to belittle you like you're some child, 214 00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,187 we are going to use this 215 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,756 to show her what kind of man you are. 216 00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:30,758 I don't want to get paint on my T-shirt and socks. 217 00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:32,292 Well, maybe you'll just have to take them off for this one. 218 00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:37,297 Morning! How's my guy? 219 00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:39,099 Awful. I had a zillion nightmares. 220 00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:41,201 I was talking to Shorty, but gee, that's rough. 221 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:43,136 Hey, let's have breakfast at my club today. 222 00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:45,372 We do a thing on Friday called "Yesterday's Potatoes." 223 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:46,974 They take last night's French fries 224 00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:48,375 and make 'em into today's home fries, 225 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,811 and last night's fries were fantastic. 226 00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:53,113 Sounds delicious, but, uh, Gloria already cooked. 227 00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:54,448 Two poached eggs, chorizo, 228 00:06:54,482 --> 00:06:56,283 and a croissant with blackberry jam. 229 00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:57,651 Yes! Manny's favorite. 230 00:06:57,685 --> 00:06:59,419 Geez, why don't you just call him? 231 00:06:59,453 --> 00:07:01,489 I made it out of habit. 232 00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:04,057 But thankfully, Shorty loved it. 233 00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:06,226 Didn't you, Papi? 234 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,161 Okay, I'll tell you what. Why don't you get out of those pajamas... 235 00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:10,564 What pajamas? ...and then come sit while I -- Those aren't pajamas? 236 00:07:10,598 --> 00:07:12,966 No. Actually, Gloria and I are gonna go to the farmer's market 237 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,335 after we drop Joe off at school. Why? 238 00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:16,770 It's kind of work-related. 239 00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:19,573 Your friend has a very successful juice business 240 00:07:19,607 --> 00:07:20,774 in Costa Rica. 241 00:07:20,808 --> 00:07:22,643 They call me the Fruit King. 242 00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:24,512 They must have seen the outfit. I'll tell you what. 243 00:07:24,545 --> 00:07:26,246 I got a little thing this morning at the office. 244 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:27,748 Why don't we meet back here at 1:00 245 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,517 for a little best-friend catch-up? Deal? 246 00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:30,584 Deal. Sounds good. 247 00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:32,352 You know what doesn't sound good? 248 00:07:32,385 --> 00:07:35,355 One grown man calling another grown man his best friend. 249 00:07:35,388 --> 00:07:36,957 She doesn't get us. See you, buddy. 250 00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:39,960 What is that? 251 00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:41,361 Crostini with edamame puree. 252 00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:43,931 Pepper says anyone who's still doing tomato-basil 253 00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:45,533 missed the boat, or should have. 254 00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:47,300 Hey, Lionel, you don't have to eat 255 00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:48,769 that stuff they brought for you. 256 00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:51,138 We -- We won't tell. Ch-- Pop a Cheeto. Be a kid. 257 00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:52,439 But the guys went to the trouble 258 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:53,707 of making Rosa make this for me. 259 00:07:53,741 --> 00:07:55,142 I should finish it. 260 00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:56,777 Hey, Lionel, heads up. Catch. 261 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,045 No, thank you. 262 00:07:58,078 --> 00:08:00,213 Pepper and Ronaldo don't allow ball play in the house. 263 00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:03,350 Well, you aren't at Pepper and Ronaldo's house. 264 00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:05,553 This is a fun house. 265 00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:06,820 Yeah, that's what they call it. 266 00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:08,121 Well, now I feel like throwing something, 267 00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:09,890 so, hey, Lionel, heads up. Catch. 268 00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:11,725 [ Vase shatters ] 269 00:08:11,759 --> 00:08:13,961 Uh, I'm sorry. 270 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,496 I told Pepper I couldn't move my arms in this jacket, 271 00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:18,465 but he said, "Fit over function." 272 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:19,533 No, you know what? I-It's fine. It's fine. 273 00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:21,068 Things break. I'll pay for it. 274 00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:22,402 No, you won't. We got it for free 275 00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:24,404 when we opened a credit card at the gas station. 276 00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:26,907 I insist. I have traveler's checks in my bag. 277 00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:28,341 No, Lionel, it's f-- okay. 278 00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:29,910 No, you know what, this is upsetting me. 279 00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:31,344 He dresses the way they tell him to dress. 280 00:08:31,378 --> 00:08:32,913 He eats what they tell him to eat. 281 00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:34,582 I know. They control his every move, 282 00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:37,084 and he clearly feels pressured to go along with it. 283 00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:38,351 That's probably why he keeps telling me 284 00:08:38,385 --> 00:08:40,020 how lucky I am to live here. 285 00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:42,823 He said that? Wh-- Why didn't you tell us? 286 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,992 You guys don't leave a lot of space to jump into your conversat-- 287 00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,159 You know what this is, Cam? 288 00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:47,728 He's obviously jealous of Lily 289 00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:50,163 because we allow her to be a kid and have fun. 290 00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:51,565 Imagine how jealous he'll be 291 00:08:51,599 --> 00:08:54,034 when he finds out about my horseback-riding lessons. 292 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:55,135 Let it go. We're not doing that. 293 00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,538 You know what I'm in the mood for? 294 00:08:58,572 --> 00:09:00,340 And I know it sounds crazy, but waffles. 295 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,341 What the hell? 296 00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:02,342 You're right. 297 00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,344 You keep me from flying too high. 298 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,113 "Happy early birthday, Mom. 299 00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:08,548 Love, Alex and Ben." Oh, my God. 300 00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:10,350 I know. Your birthday isn't for six months. 301 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,385 No, Phil! 302 00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:13,587 Oh. 303 00:09:13,621 --> 00:09:15,956 Ew. Mm. 304 00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:17,925 Hey, guys. Cool painting. Who did it? 305 00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:19,392 [ Sighs ] Alex and Ben. 306 00:09:19,426 --> 00:09:21,261 Oh, I think I heard them making it last night. 307 00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:22,763 She kept saying he was doing it wrong, 308 00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:24,197 but it looks good to me. 309 00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:26,366 I mean, I don't know anything about art, 310 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:28,101 but...I know what I like. 311 00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:30,037 [ Crunches ] Oh. 312 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,705 I make one comment about Ben's mommy, 313 00:09:31,739 --> 00:09:33,306 and Alex does this. 314 00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:35,075 It's aggressive. 315 00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:37,377 I remember when she made a turkey with her handprint. 316 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,546 She's just trying to get some sort of reaction 317 00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:40,748 out of me, isn't she? 318 00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:42,315 But you're not gonna take the bait, right? 319 00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:43,951 You're bigger than that. I don't know, Phil. 320 00:09:43,984 --> 00:09:46,153 This is -- This is very disrespectful. 321 00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:47,921 I think she needs to be taken down a peg. 322 00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:50,557 So then, you'll just sit her down and talk to her, right? 323 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:51,892 I could do that, 324 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:55,328 maybe over dinner with her and Ben... 325 00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:57,330 There you go. I'm proud of you. 326 00:09:57,364 --> 00:09:59,733 ...a dinner no one will soon forget. 327 00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:01,068 Fine. 328 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,403 But know that I'm having a waffle. 329 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,572 This is what you're doing to our family! 330 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,407 [ Siren wailing ] 331 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:08,776 Jay: Stop. 332 00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:11,178 You know the rules. Helmet. 333 00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:15,448 Off with you. [ Siren wailing ] 334 00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:17,450 Gloria: Shorty, you're kidding. 335 00:10:17,484 --> 00:10:19,519 I never joke when it comes to fruit. 336 00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:22,489 That miracle in your hand is a half plum, half apricot. 337 00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:24,958 There was a time they could only accomplish that in juice. 338 00:10:24,992 --> 00:10:27,160 Oh. Jay. [ Chuckles ] 339 00:10:27,194 --> 00:10:29,797 Oh, sorry, I kind of lost track of time. 340 00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:31,131 Hey, no worries. 341 00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:33,533 Who among us hasn't blown off his best friend 342 00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:36,970 he hasn't seen in four years to go fruit shopping? 343 00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:40,340 Sounds like somebody could use a Pomegrapefruit Blast. 344 00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:42,175 Blast means "yogurt." 345 00:10:42,209 --> 00:10:44,177 You've been spending too much time in the jungle. 346 00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:45,946 What you need is a little civilization. 347 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,280 Let's go bowling. 348 00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:49,149 Well, I would love to, but, uh... 349 00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:51,318 I kind of want to take a nap before we got to the theater. 350 00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:52,385 [ Chuckles ] 351 00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:54,287 Um, you're taking Shorty to the theater? 352 00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:55,355 Ah, yes. 353 00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:56,957 I got the tickets for me and Manny, 354 00:10:56,990 --> 00:11:00,527 but he can't go and Shorty loves "Wicked." 355 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:03,797 He thinks he's a Galinda and his brother an Elphaba. 356 00:11:03,831 --> 00:11:05,165 You know what you're doing, don't you? 357 00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:06,734 You're turning Shorty into Manny. 358 00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:08,368 Stop hogging my best friend! 359 00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:10,704 Okay, if you're so upset, then you can take him. 360 00:11:10,738 --> 00:11:12,505 But stop saying "best friend." 361 00:11:12,539 --> 00:11:14,307 You're too old to be using that word. 362 00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,176 Hannah from Montana has a best friend. 363 00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:17,177 You don't. 364 00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:18,678 At least my best friend isn't my son. 365 00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:21,148 [ Engine revs ] 366 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:22,549 I'm your best friend, Mom? 367 00:11:22,582 --> 00:11:23,884 Yes, Papi. 368 00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:27,220 You are the son that he's talking about. 369 00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,991 Look, if he said Lily's lucky to be here, 370 00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:33,193 then he's clearly unhappy at Pepper and Ronaldo's. 371 00:11:33,226 --> 00:11:34,928 I mean, w-what kid wouldn't be? 372 00:11:34,962 --> 00:11:36,730 I mean, that house is so sterile. 373 00:11:36,764 --> 00:11:38,531 Do you remember when Pepper got made at me 374 00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:39,767 and he laid down plastic 375 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,334 before throwing a drink in my face? 376 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:42,736 So then, we have to say something. 377 00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:44,004 [ Sighs ] I mean, we're their friends. 378 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,372 We're experienced parents. 379 00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:47,274 There's -- There's still time for them to change. 380 00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:48,408 No, it's not our place. 381 00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:50,177 Let's just, you know, stay out of it. 382 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,179 [ Door opens ] They keep their door unlocked? 383 00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,614 That's the upside of not having anything worth stealing. 384 00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:56,383 You're terrible parents. [ Pepper gasps ] 385 00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:57,918 Okay, so, I guess we ar saying something. 386 00:11:57,951 --> 00:11:59,186 All right. 387 00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:00,553 Time for some tough love, boys. 388 00:12:00,587 --> 00:12:02,189 Oh, goodness, we feared you two 389 00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,556 might be into that sort of thing, 390 00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:04,925 but we're gonna have to pass. 391 00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:06,860 Oh, you can't possibly think that's what he meant. 392 00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:08,295 No, I'm deflecting! 393 00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:10,964 I feel the sickening threat of brutal honesty, 394 00:12:10,998 --> 00:12:13,133 and I'm wildly uncomfortable. 395 00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:14,534 Okay, well, here goes. 396 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,770 We think it's great that you adopted Lionel, but -- 397 00:12:16,804 --> 00:12:18,071 [ Both gasp ] 398 00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:19,306 Okay, a little early for that reaction. 399 00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:20,540 I haven't even gotten to say, 400 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,742 "Stop imposing your fancy ways on that poor child." 401 00:12:22,776 --> 00:12:24,377 And hit it. [ Both gasp ] 402 00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:25,979 Look, we have been at this parenting thing 403 00:12:26,013 --> 00:12:27,247 for a while now, and... 404 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,649 [ Sarcastically ] Yeah, and Lily is such a delight! 405 00:12:29,682 --> 00:12:31,284 [ Sighs ] 406 00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:32,986 Sorry, I'm gonna be lashing out for a bit. 407 00:12:33,020 --> 00:12:35,155 Anyway, um, part of parenting 408 00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:37,958 is exposing your children to things that you value. 409 00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:40,227 You know, art and culture and good food -- 410 00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:42,062 That's exactly what we're doing. 411 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:45,098 But it's also about letting them figure out who they are, 412 00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:47,134 doing things that they want to do 413 00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:48,468 even though you don't like 'em. 414 00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:50,237 Yeah, he's a kid. 415 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,973 He doesn't want opera at bedtime and caviar on his eggs. 416 00:12:53,006 --> 00:12:55,642 He -- He wants to play ball and eat Cheetos. 417 00:12:55,675 --> 00:12:58,511 Well, I did see him spit some sashimi into a napkin, 418 00:12:58,545 --> 00:13:01,081 but I hoped he was just worried about his weight. 419 00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,449 You know what, let's get outside. Yes. 420 00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:04,784 Let's go do something fun and show Lionel 421 00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:07,354 that it -- that it's okay to be a kid with you guys. 422 00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:08,989 What do you say? Yeah. 423 00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:10,757 Get in there. It's fine. 424 00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,492 Okay. 425 00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:14,694 [ Sniffs ] 426 00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:17,164 [ Crunches ] 427 00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:18,265 [ Spits ] 428 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:21,034 [ Coughs ] And from what fromagerie -- 429 00:13:21,068 --> 00:13:23,904 You're from Lubbock, Texas. [ Gasps ] You son of a bitch! 430 00:13:28,876 --> 00:13:29,609 Pepper: Oh, I can't believe no one told me 431 00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,144 kickball is performed on grass. 432 00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:33,113 I can barely stand Shakespeare in a park. 433 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:34,681 This is not great for your people. 434 00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:36,783 Okay, Lionel, bring me home. 435 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:37,784 You got this. 436 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,719 Yes, I do, sir. [ Clapping ] 437 00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:41,621 Mitchell: All right. 438 00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,323 Yeah! 439 00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:45,292 Oh, my God, what is happening? Hit him! 440 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:46,393 Pepper, hit him! Oh! 441 00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:47,394 Hit Cam! 442 00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:48,795 Oh, my --! 443 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,297 You can't possibly think that's what he meant. 444 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:51,664 Oh! Give me that. 445 00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:52,665 Give me that. Mitchell: Okay. 446 00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:55,035 I was skeptical at first 447 00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:57,837 because orange is so over right now, 448 00:13:57,871 --> 00:13:59,572 but I love it. 449 00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:00,974 You like it, too, Pepper? 450 00:14:01,008 --> 00:14:02,042 Mm, wonderful. 451 00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:03,977 I haven't seen this much artificial color 452 00:14:04,011 --> 00:14:06,246 since Ted Turner got his hands on "Casablanca." 453 00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:08,048 Your grandparents grew up in a trailer. 454 00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:09,516 I hate you. 455 00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:10,717 All right, who's up next? 456 00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:12,019 Pepper! Pepper! 457 00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:14,587 Oh. How many scenes does kickball have? 458 00:14:14,621 --> 00:14:16,223 You can do it, Peppercito! 459 00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:17,857 Remember, it's just like dancing. 460 00:14:17,891 --> 00:14:18,892 Dancing. 461 00:14:18,926 --> 00:14:21,694 And five, six, seven, eight, kick! 462 00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:22,829 Oh! 463 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,497 Oh! Pepper! 464 00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:26,233 Ohh! Oh, I'm hurt! 465 00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:27,434 I'm really hurt! 466 00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:30,003 Oh, if you two had any money, I'd sue you. 467 00:14:30,037 --> 00:14:31,571 Ronaldo: Mi amor, it's okay. 468 00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:33,706 [ Scoffs ] It's not okay. 469 00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:37,110 I'm out in the wild, schvitzing like a line cook. 470 00:14:37,144 --> 00:14:40,080 It's one humiliation after the next! 471 00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:43,250 Lionel, sweetheart, I want to be the father you need, 472 00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:45,252 but this is not me. 473 00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:50,057 I hate sports and nature and -- and sherbet -- 474 00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:52,559 God, do I hate sherbet! 475 00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:56,930 There's ice cream and sorbet and nothing in between. 476 00:14:56,964 --> 00:14:59,466 Just so you know, I don't care about kickball 477 00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:01,534 or Popsicles or any of that stuff. 478 00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,036 I like how we live. 479 00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:04,471 You do? 480 00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:06,773 Lionel, don't feel pressured to say that if you don't mean it. 481 00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:08,208 I mean it. 482 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,043 Backgammon in the study, cheese from France, 483 00:15:10,077 --> 00:15:12,312 not a cheetah in sunglasses. 484 00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:14,247 Lionel, you're melting my heart. 485 00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:16,216 Mine, too, you perfect boy. 486 00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:18,285 What made you think I didn't like our life? 487 00:15:20,687 --> 00:15:22,489 Well, now, see... [ Stammers ] 488 00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:25,058 They were forcing you to, and it just seemed to us... It seemed to us... 489 00:15:25,092 --> 00:15:27,060 You told Lily that she was lucky to live with us. 490 00:15:27,094 --> 00:15:28,061 Remember? 491 00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:29,629 I was trying to make her feel better. 492 00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:31,731 I got so much, and she got... 493 00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,400 They give her haircuts at home. 494 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,634 [ Gasps ] 495 00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:36,303 Okay, I took a class. 496 00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:38,138 They wouldn't even let her take horseback-riding lessons. 497 00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:39,439 Because it's dangerous. Because it's dangerous. 498 00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:40,907 Or is it because 499 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,742 you have to drive me across town at 7:00 A.M.? 500 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,644 I thought good parents 501 00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:47,280 were supposed to do things their kids want to do? 502 00:15:47,314 --> 00:15:49,016 Okay, well, it's not not dangerous, 503 00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:50,817 and she's also too young, so... 504 00:15:50,850 --> 00:15:52,652 Cam, come on. The jig's up. 505 00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:55,255 Yes, Lily, we were -- we were being selfish, okay? 506 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,090 You can have your lessons. 507 00:15:57,124 --> 00:15:58,291 Thank you. 508 00:15:58,325 --> 00:16:00,293 Can I take horseback-riding lessons with her, too? 509 00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:01,461 Anything you want. 510 00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:03,830 You can swing by and pick him up on your way. 511 00:16:03,863 --> 00:16:05,332 [ Laughs ] 512 00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:07,434 Hey, there. 513 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,636 Hi, honey. How are you? 514 00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:11,671 Mwah! Good. 515 00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:15,175 Well, you seem less scary. [ Laughs ] 516 00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:16,676 Does this mean we're gonna have a nice, pleasant dinner 517 00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:18,278 with our daughter and her boyfriend? 518 00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:19,646 Hey, give me a little credit. 519 00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:21,881 I worked so hard all day 520 00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:25,352 just to make sure I got everything ready. 521 00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:27,220 Oh, come on! 522 00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:30,157 You have got to be kidding me. 523 00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:32,459 Well, it turns out Speedy Frame really lives up to its name. 524 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:33,993 Alex: We're here! 525 00:16:34,027 --> 00:16:36,729 Claire, I got you a bottle of pi-- No! [pinot] 526 00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:38,398 Oh, good, you got our gift. 527 00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:39,866 You gave it to them? 528 00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:42,035 Don't freak out, babe. That's exactly what she wants. 529 00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:44,571 Wow, Mom, I really love it there. 530 00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:46,506 Me, too. 531 00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:48,875 Sex painting on the wall means Alex was in her head. 532 00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:51,211 And I wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon. 533 00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:53,146 I don't know where that came from. 534 00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:54,481 More green beans? 535 00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:56,583 Oh, yes. Don't mind if I do. 536 00:16:56,616 --> 00:16:59,186 I have to admit, I feel slightly uncomfortable. 537 00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:00,653 Well, it's getting late. 538 00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,021 It's 7:30. 539 00:17:02,055 --> 00:17:04,657 So, Dad, how's work? 540 00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,493 No. We're not gonna sit here and pretend. 541 00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,728 We're going to talk about this. 542 00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:11,331 Your father's right. 543 00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:14,167 When I saw that painting, I thought... 544 00:17:14,201 --> 00:17:16,002 you're too restrained. 545 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,238 You two need to loosen up a little. That's not what I meant. 546 00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:19,772 Oh, no, no, no. 547 00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:23,410 I appreciate the advice, and that should be an easy fix 548 00:17:23,443 --> 00:17:25,778 now that I've come into my own with such a virile partner. 549 00:17:25,812 --> 00:17:27,414 [ Laughs uncomfortably ] Oh, my God. 550 00:17:27,447 --> 00:17:29,216 Okay, that is enough! 551 00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:31,118 Look what you're doing to this poor man, 552 00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:33,052 putting him in the middle of this twisted power struggle 553 00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:34,421 between the two of you! 554 00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:37,257 This is exactly what you and your dad always did to me. 555 00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:38,758 What are you talking about? 556 00:17:38,791 --> 00:17:40,693 The first time I met your dad, 557 00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:42,895 who did not approve me, you kept kissing me. 558 00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:44,864 Or the first time we went away with your family 559 00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:46,433 to that cabin and you made all those noises. 560 00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:47,934 Th-That wasn't about that. 561 00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:50,069 Then where did those noises go, Claire? 562 00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:52,305 I will not stand here while you tear poor Ben down 563 00:17:52,339 --> 00:17:53,606 the way that Jay tore me down, 564 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,041 and, Ben, were you blue or gold? 565 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:57,076 I need to know. I was blue. 566 00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:59,146 I wanted to feel like an Avatar. 567 00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:01,381 Ben, I'm sorry. 568 00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:03,283 Phil and Alex are right. 569 00:18:03,316 --> 00:18:05,718 You don't deserve to be treated this way. 570 00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,086 Thank you, Claire. You know, I -- 571 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,788 Not finished. I am doing to you... Ben: Oh. 572 00:18:08,821 --> 00:18:11,458 ...exactly what my father did to me and Phil. 573 00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:13,993 No one was good enough for his little girl, and... 574 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:17,930 And I suppose nobody's good enough for mine. 575 00:18:17,964 --> 00:18:21,268 But, honey, I've been where you are right now, 576 00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:22,835 and I'm the last person 577 00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:25,071 who should be making it harder for you. 578 00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,274 I'm...I'm so sorry. 579 00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:29,909 And I'm sorry I left the sex painting for you to find. 580 00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,578 If it makes you feel any better, 581 00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:32,912 we faked it. 582 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,847 Ben was so freaked out, he couldn't perform. 583 00:18:34,881 --> 00:18:37,284 Doesn't make me feel any better. 584 00:18:37,317 --> 00:18:38,117 That helps a lot. 585 00:18:39,386 --> 00:18:45,458 Both: * I do believe I have been changed for the better * 586 00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:48,661 I still don't understand why she's green. 587 00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:52,165 Elphaba: * Because I knew you 588 00:18:52,199 --> 00:18:56,969 Galinda: * Because I knew you 589 00:18:57,003 --> 00:19:02,475 * Because I knew you 590 00:19:02,509 --> 00:19:10,183 * I have been cha-a-a-a-a-nged 591 00:19:10,217 --> 00:19:11,684 [ Voice breaking ] They used to be so close. 592 00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:13,386 You okay? * For good 593 00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:15,188 What happened to them? I don't know. 594 00:19:15,222 --> 00:19:16,789 I-I dozed off for a couple of minutes. 595 00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,558 Excuse me. Excuse me. 596 00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:20,327 I'm sorry. Excuse me. 597 00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:21,628 Damn it. 598 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,530 I should've sent Gloria. 599 00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:27,166 [ Shorty sobbing ] 600 00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,302 Hey, fella. 601 00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:32,405 What happened in there? 602 00:19:32,439 --> 00:19:34,507 I'm a fraud, Jay. 603 00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:35,675 I'm a damn fraud. 604 00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:38,044 Come on. We all cry at weird stuff. 605 00:19:38,077 --> 00:19:40,747 For me, it's when boxers hug after a fight. 606 00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:42,349 It's not the crying I'm worried about. 607 00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:43,816 You were right. 608 00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:45,852 You said I would lose everything if I went to Costa Rica, 609 00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:46,853 and I did. 610 00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:48,020 What are you talking about? 611 00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:49,556 I-I-I thought you were a big juice magnate. 612 00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:51,824 Lies! It's all lies, Jay! 613 00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:53,760 I'm not no juice magnate. 614 00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:55,895 I had a juice stand, and things were okay -- 615 00:19:55,928 --> 00:19:58,331 until these monkeys got a hold of my knives. 616 00:19:58,365 --> 00:20:01,200 The lawyer says I can't talk about it. 617 00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:04,904 Then Darlene takes off with this honcho in zip lines 618 00:20:04,937 --> 00:20:06,105 and leaves me. 619 00:20:06,138 --> 00:20:08,241 That's why I've been avoiding you. 620 00:20:08,275 --> 00:20:09,909 I'm a disgusting loser! 621 00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:11,244 Who are you talking to? 622 00:20:11,278 --> 00:20:12,845 You don't need to be embarrassed. 623 00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:14,614 But you said, "Don't come crying to me 624 00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:16,048 when it all turns to hell 625 00:20:16,082 --> 00:20:17,684 and I have to pick up the pieces." 626 00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:19,886 You said that! It's just what you say. 627 00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:21,254 Of course I'm gonna pick up the pieces. 628 00:20:21,288 --> 00:20:22,522 What else would I do? 629 00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:24,023 You're my best friend. [ Applause ] 630 00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:25,725 And you're my best friend, damn it. Come on. 631 00:20:27,394 --> 00:20:30,930 I'm better because I knew you. 632 00:20:30,963 --> 00:20:33,266 Best friends forever. 633 00:20:34,501 --> 00:20:37,003 Yeah, Gloria's right. I...I hear it now. 634 00:20:42,108 --> 00:20:43,710 Manny, open the door. I know you're in there. 635 00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:45,545 Mom, what are you doing here? 636 00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:47,947 I know that you said that you wanted your space, 637 00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:49,916 but it's so hard on me, okay? 638 00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:52,385 So I want a text message 639 00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:55,154 at the end of every day telling me that you're okay, 640 00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:57,757 and three times a week, a picture of your face 641 00:20:57,790 --> 00:20:59,158 so that I can look into your eyes 642 00:20:59,191 --> 00:21:00,593 and see if you're lying to me. 643 00:21:00,627 --> 00:21:02,295 Mother, we texted yesterday morning. 644 00:21:02,329 --> 00:21:03,930 No, we didn't. That was days ago. 645 00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:06,098 Yesterday, at 8:37 A.M., 646 00:21:06,132 --> 00:21:08,167 you asked if I got your care package and said, 647 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,169 "Don't tell Jay I gave you a sausage," 648 00:21:10,202 --> 00:21:11,571 then you accidentally hit voice memo 649 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:14,173 and I heard you tell Stella to go in the yard and die. 650 00:21:14,206 --> 00:21:15,842 I'm sorry. 651 00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:18,277 I just miss you. 652 00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:25,452 I guess it's not so terrible 653 00:21:25,485 --> 00:21:27,119 if you stop on by every now and then.