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During your weekend here,
you will explore ways,

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00:00:04,308 --> 00:00:06,136
through yoga, breathing,

3
00:00:06,267 --> 00:00:08,095
and other mindful practices,

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to reconnect with yourself
and your partner.

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Also, for a small donation,

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we have an on-site shaman
who can heal your chakras.

7
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Small donation?
Sounds like a "chakra con."

8
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[cellphone chimes]Oh.

9
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You're supposed
to turn that off.

10
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I'm sorry.
It's work.
Okay,
so is a marriage.

11
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You know, we traveled all this
way. The least you could do

12
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is take this
seriously.

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I'm sorry.
You're right.[cellphone chimes]

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Oh, my God, that -- that
crappy breakfast was $55.

15
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For flax
and berries.
Yeah.

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I thought this was supposed to
be one fee up front, all in.

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I wish youwere all in,
Mitchell.

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I'm sor-- I am.
Starting...now.

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Okay?
Okay.

20
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[bell chimes]That wasn't me.

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I have invited the Tibetan
Singing Bowl to ring,

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reminding us to all
turn down the volume

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and find the beauty
in silence.

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[group cheering]

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That was unfortunate.

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My apologies. We happen to be
next door to the Royals.

27
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[gasps] Oh, my God,
we just binged The Crown.

28
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W-W-Which royals?
William and Kate?

29
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Harry and
the Suitsgirl?

30
00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:05,630
Actually, it's the Kansas City
Royals. Spring training,

31
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their practice field
is next door.[gasps]

32
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Growing up a Royals fan,
it was always my dream

33
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to see them at
spring training.

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So, I just decided,
after the retreat was over,

35
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I'm just gonna swing by,

36
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you know, grab an autograph,

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maybe whisper an opinion
in the manager's ear,

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be discovered as
a great baseball mind.

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Then the Yankees
would come calling,

40
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and I'd have to choose
between the team I love

41
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and the -- the big payout.

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But I'm getting ahead
of myself.

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RANDY: Not to worry. This is
their last day of training,

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and they leave tonight.

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Excuse me,
question.
Yes.

46
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Yes, hi. Will we have
an opportunity to explore

47
00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:38,228
these -- these beautiful
grounds on our own?

48
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Absolutely.
Tomorrow at sunset.

49
00:01:40,317 --> 00:01:42,058
After goat yoga.

50
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Oh, my God!
Can it get any worse?!

51
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♪♪

52
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♪♪

53
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Arrgh! Ughh!

54
00:02:01,773 --> 00:02:02,861
What are you doing?
I grunted less

55
00:02:02,992 --> 00:02:04,211
when I was giving birth
to Joe.

56
00:02:04,341 --> 00:02:08,215
You were pushing six and a half
pounds, I'm pushing 220.

57
00:02:08,345 --> 00:02:09,390
You're dressing younger.

58
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You're exercising.

59
00:02:10,521 --> 00:02:14,221
You only had one breakfast
this morning.

60
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Who is she, Jay?
I'll kill her.

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Relax, would you?
I'm just trying to get in shape.

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Okay, but hurry,
because we have to go

63
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and pick up Joe
at the birthday party.

64
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Wait a minute.

65
00:02:24,405 --> 00:02:26,146
Is that what this
is all about --

66
00:02:26,276 --> 00:02:27,321
Henry's father?

67
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I don't understand
why you're so insecure

68
00:02:29,366 --> 00:02:31,063
just because
he's younger,

69
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stronger, and more rugged
than you are.

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Go easy. I'm working on
only one breakfast.

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Joe won't shut up about
his new friend's dad.

72
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,247
"Henry's dad is so tough."
Who cares?

73
00:02:40,377 --> 00:02:42,466
He was a stunt double in
a couple of Bournemovies.

74
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From the first time
Joe went over there,

75
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that guy's been trying
to prove how cool he is.

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[tires screech]Joe! Let's go!

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Heads up!

78
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[engine revs]

79
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What the hell?!
-Yeah!

80
00:02:54,435 --> 00:02:55,871
He's Jason Bourne!

81
00:02:56,001 --> 00:02:57,089
That's make-believe.

82
00:02:57,220 --> 00:02:59,222
Matt Damon's Jason Bourne.

83
00:02:59,353 --> 00:03:02,399
Growing up, I thought
my dad was the coolest.

84
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And that made me feel
good about myself.

85
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I mean,
I try to stay with it.

86
00:03:06,534 --> 00:03:09,232
Exactly! Look at you,
you even have a smart watch.

87
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Yeah, the damn thing tells me
when to stand up,

88
00:03:11,060 --> 00:03:11,974
when to breathe.[watch beeps]

89
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Your body mass
index is --

90
00:03:13,454 --> 00:03:14,716
Nobody asked!

91
00:03:15,630 --> 00:03:19,199
Which have more chromosomes,
potatoes or humans?

92
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Humans, right?

93
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Potatoes?!

94
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[laughs]

95
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Oh, Krazy Kups,
what can't you teach us?

96
00:03:26,118 --> 00:03:27,903
Are you doing all this to
impress Haley's boyfriend?

97
00:03:28,033 --> 00:03:30,297
Haley's dating this genius
astrophysics professor

98
00:03:30,427 --> 00:03:31,776
who's somehow
making her smarter

99
00:03:31,907 --> 00:03:33,996
because, last week,
I called Pluto a planet

100
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and Haley
laughed at me.

101
00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:37,260
In pity.

102
00:03:37,391 --> 00:03:39,349
Haley.
Haley.

103
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,264
Haley.

104
00:03:41,395 --> 00:03:44,441
Do we think that Haley
is suited to a professor,

105
00:03:44,572 --> 00:03:47,401
because I more saw her
with a Gilligan type?

106
00:03:47,531 --> 00:03:48,967
Come on, now.
Lots of happy couples

107
00:03:49,098 --> 00:03:51,100
aren't the exact same
level of smart.

108
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,014
That's true.

109
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We work.
Yeah.

110
00:03:55,887 --> 00:03:56,758
Wait.

111
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When you say, "We work,"

112
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do you think you're smarter
than me or I'm smarter than you?

113
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I think I'm smart enough
not to have this conversation.

114
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Oh, my God!

115
00:04:03,591 --> 00:04:06,550
You do! You think
you're smarter than me!

116
00:04:06,681 --> 00:04:09,771
Okay, hotshot.
How many patents do you have?

117
00:04:09,901 --> 00:04:11,816
Headscratcher TM,
Aspirin Gun,

118
00:04:11,947 --> 00:04:14,471
Polite Car Horn that'll
put an end to road rage.

119
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[high-pitched] Excuse me,
excuse me, excuse me.

120
00:04:16,473 --> 00:04:19,171
Can we just not get into a whole
thing before this lunch?

121
00:04:19,302 --> 00:04:20,956
What lunch?
I just ate a pie.

122
00:04:21,086 --> 00:04:23,524
Your sister is dating
a professor of astrophysics,

123
00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:25,961
and he's coming here
today to meet us.

124
00:04:26,091 --> 00:04:27,963
Oh, good,
someone to talk to.

125
00:04:28,093 --> 00:04:30,748
I'm tired of dumbing it down
for you chuckle-heads.

126
00:04:31,532 --> 00:04:33,316
Bill, are you on your way?

127
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Stay in the car.
I'll meet you outside.

128
00:04:35,579 --> 00:04:37,538
It was hard for me when Haley
started dating Arvin,

129
00:04:37,668 --> 00:04:40,410
my professor
and science hero and...

130
00:04:40,541 --> 00:04:42,194
okay, fine, crush.

131
00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:45,807
I was so upset, I went home,
and I may have overindulged...

132
00:04:45,937 --> 00:04:48,984
on Bagel Bites.[microwave beeps]

133
00:04:49,114 --> 00:04:50,420
[smoke alarm ringing]

134
00:04:50,551 --> 00:04:51,378
Hey.

135
00:04:51,508 --> 00:04:53,380
-Aah!
-It's okay. You're safe.

136
00:04:53,510 --> 00:04:54,729
But I'm gonna need you
to come with me.

137
00:04:54,859 --> 00:04:56,252
I don't really
think you need --

138
00:04:56,383 --> 00:04:57,079
Okay.

139
00:04:57,209 --> 00:04:58,776
He was like a superhero.

140
00:04:58,907 --> 00:04:59,864
Is that your dad?

141
00:04:59,995 --> 00:05:00,822
A beautiful...

142
00:05:00,952 --> 00:05:02,563
not-so-smart superhero.

143
00:05:02,693 --> 00:05:04,434
The last thing I wanted
was Professor Fennerman

144
00:05:04,565 --> 00:05:06,523
finding out
I was dating a dummy.

145
00:05:06,654 --> 00:05:09,613
A sweet, chiseled dummy.

146
00:05:09,744 --> 00:05:14,226
Alex, you didn't mention you've
got a firefighter boyfriend.

147
00:05:14,357 --> 00:05:15,402
Yeah! It's great.

148
00:05:15,532 --> 00:05:16,968
"Take that, you fire."
We gotta go.

149
00:05:17,099 --> 00:05:19,275
Oh, but your parents just
invited me to stay for lunch.

150
00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:20,494
Score!

151
00:05:20,624 --> 00:05:22,844
By the way, you look way younger
than your poster.

152
00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:25,455
We really should
get going before we --

153
00:05:25,586 --> 00:05:27,327
we miss our -- our plans
and stuff, right?
Oh.

154
00:05:27,457 --> 00:05:29,024
Yeah.
Uh, yeah...

155
00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:31,113
Alex! I didn't know you were
joining us for lunch.

156
00:05:31,243 --> 00:05:32,593
Oh! No, no.

157
00:05:32,723 --> 00:05:34,551
My -- My friend and I
have some plans

158
00:05:34,682 --> 00:05:36,292
we really
can't get out of.

159
00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:39,034
Oh, no, I could totally just
show you Backdraftlater.

160
00:05:39,164 --> 00:05:41,558
It's my brother's DVD.
He doesn't even know I took it.

161
00:05:41,689 --> 00:05:44,039
So...
Mom, Dad,
this is Arvin.

162
00:05:44,169 --> 00:05:46,520
Hello, Arvin.
It's a pleasure to meet you.

163
00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:49,479
Yes, you are the first
TED Talkin' science superstar

164
00:05:49,610 --> 00:05:51,046
we've ever had
in our house.
Mm-hmm.

165
00:05:51,176 --> 00:05:54,484
Well, as long as I'm a
"superstar" and not a supernova.

166
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[laughter]

167
00:05:56,965 --> 00:05:58,358
[laughter]

168
00:05:58,488 --> 00:06:00,664
You don't even know what
you're laughing at.

169
00:06:00,795 --> 00:06:02,274
I get it.I got it more.

170
00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:05,626
I don't get it, but, uh, you
sound like Austin Powers, man.

171
00:06:09,891 --> 00:06:12,372
Wow. Henry's dad
did such a great job

172
00:06:12,502 --> 00:06:14,069
with the birthday party
for the kids, huh?

173
00:06:14,199 --> 00:06:15,505
"Henry's dad."
"Henry's dad."

174
00:06:15,636 --> 00:06:16,637
I took Joe

175
00:06:16,767 --> 00:06:18,856
to see African Queen
in CinemaScope.

176
00:06:18,987 --> 00:06:20,380
Oh, hey.
Good to see you again, Jay.

177
00:06:20,510 --> 00:06:21,946
GLORIA: Hi.Hi, I'm Clay.

178
00:06:22,077 --> 00:06:23,644
I'd shake your hand,
but I'm a little banged up.

179
00:06:23,774 --> 00:06:25,733
I feel out of a five-story
building this morning,

180
00:06:25,863 --> 00:06:26,864
into a net.

181
00:06:26,995 --> 00:06:28,518
He fell out of bed
this morning.

182
00:06:28,649 --> 00:06:30,085
Ah. Hey, honey.

183
00:06:30,215 --> 00:06:31,129
Come down and meet
these guys.

184
00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:35,177
-Oh, hey!
-[chuckling] Wow.

185
00:06:35,307 --> 00:06:38,180
Welcome.
I'm Jenny, Henry's mom.

186
00:06:38,310 --> 00:06:39,529
Joe's parents --
Jay, Gloria.

187
00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:40,704
Hi.
Gloria.

188
00:06:40,835 --> 00:06:43,620
Mama! Henry's mom just did
the wall so fast!

189
00:06:43,751 --> 00:06:44,839
You try it.

190
00:06:44,969 --> 00:06:47,537
Oh, I climb already into
these heels this morning.

191
00:06:47,668 --> 00:06:49,409
It's too much
for me today.

192
00:06:49,539 --> 00:06:51,149
I'm going up again!

193
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:52,890
Okay.

194
00:06:53,021 --> 00:06:54,370
Oh, I used to love
wearing shoes like that.

195
00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:56,503
But after marching around in
combat boots for two years,

196
00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:59,593
I made a deal with my feet
I would never hurt them again.

197
00:06:59,723 --> 00:07:02,204
[laughter]My beautiful wife
did two tours in Iraq.

198
00:07:02,334 --> 00:07:04,511
Oh.Wow, Gloria, you're not
that different.

199
00:07:04,641 --> 00:07:08,123
Yesterday, she did
two tours of a sales rack.

200
00:07:08,253 --> 00:07:09,124
[laughs]

201
00:07:09,254 --> 00:07:11,996
Help! I'm too high!

202
00:07:12,127 --> 00:07:14,521
Oh.
Go ahead, just jump,
buddy. I'll catch ya.

203
00:07:14,651 --> 00:07:16,131
But your sciatica!

204
00:07:16,261 --> 00:07:17,872
I'm on it.

205
00:07:18,002 --> 00:07:20,788
What is the hurry?
He's on a rope.

206
00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:25,140
She's making quite
a meal out of this.Yeah.

207
00:07:26,968 --> 00:07:28,926
[cheers and applause]

208
00:07:29,057 --> 00:07:30,667
Attaboy.

209
00:07:30,798 --> 00:07:33,409
Thank you, Jenny.
You're so cool.

210
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:36,238
Ah, look at that, Gloria.
She saved him.

211
00:07:36,368 --> 00:07:38,719
Just like she
saved America.

212
00:07:38,849 --> 00:07:41,722
Can I have some more cake?
Jenny made it.

213
00:07:41,852 --> 00:07:43,419
I used to cook
for my squadron.

214
00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:44,638
You've done so
many great things

215
00:07:44,768 --> 00:07:46,117
that you keep
telling us about.

216
00:07:46,248 --> 00:07:47,641
[laughs]

217
00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:50,644
Here we are --
our sensory deprivation tanks

218
00:07:50,774 --> 00:07:51,949
will disconnect you
from the world

219
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:53,951
and connect you
with yourselves.

220
00:07:54,082 --> 00:07:55,779
Okay, so, this looks
a little coffin-y.

221
00:07:55,910 --> 00:07:58,826
So, I'm not so sure.
About my husband.

222
00:07:58,956 --> 00:08:01,611
He had an MRI last year,
and he sort of freaked out.

223
00:08:01,742 --> 00:08:03,352
So, do you have
anything bigger,

224
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,615
like, an indoor pool
or a -- a family tank?

225
00:08:05,746 --> 00:08:07,182
Okay, Mitchell,
I'm -- I'm fine.

226
00:08:07,312 --> 00:08:09,576
We're here to evolve
and grow...
Well...

227
00:08:09,706 --> 00:08:11,186
So, the float lasts
for one hour,

228
00:08:11,316 --> 00:08:14,232
during which most people
simply experience

229
00:08:14,363 --> 00:08:15,930
a deep, relaxed state.

230
00:08:16,060 --> 00:08:17,148
Most people?
What -- What about the rest?

231
00:08:17,279 --> 00:08:18,715
What -- What do
they experience?

232
00:08:18,846 --> 00:08:21,239
Okay, a-are these scratches
on this lid here?Oh, come on, Mitchell.

233
00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:23,677
The flower that blooms
in adversity

234
00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:25,853
is the most rare
and beautiful of all.

235
00:08:25,983 --> 00:08:27,811
Very well put.

236
00:08:27,942 --> 00:08:29,204
He didn't make that up.
It's from Mulan.

237
00:08:29,334 --> 00:08:30,858
Our daughter made us
watch it a thousand times.

238
00:08:30,988 --> 00:08:32,642
Well, I --
Well, I'm lashing!

239
00:08:32,773 --> 00:08:34,688
[laughs] Okay,
maybe we should just float.

240
00:08:34,818 --> 00:08:38,387
Yeah,
let's just float.Yeah, okay.

241
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,520
Okay.

242
00:08:41,738 --> 00:08:46,526
[water trickling]

243
00:08:46,656 --> 00:08:47,744
[exhales shakily]

244
00:08:47,875 --> 00:08:50,442
I tried to relax in there,
I really did.

245
00:08:50,573 --> 00:08:51,531
But it was difficult.

246
00:08:51,661 --> 00:08:53,837
I-I guess because I felt
like I was, um --

247
00:08:53,968 --> 00:08:55,230
Oh, what's the word?

248
00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:56,536
Dying.

249
00:08:56,666 --> 00:08:57,885
But I got past that,

250
00:08:58,015 --> 00:09:00,844
only to start reliving every
mistake I have ever made,

251
00:09:00,975 --> 00:09:03,455
like when I went to
an Oscar party and I said

252
00:09:03,586 --> 00:09:06,720
"Bett" Davis in front of a room
full of vicious gays.

253
00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:08,635
Honestly, the only thing
that kept me in there

254
00:09:08,765 --> 00:09:10,550
was the knowledge that Cam
was right next door.

255
00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:13,465
Go Royals! I-I love you!

256
00:09:13,596 --> 00:09:14,684
It was a solid plan --

257
00:09:14,815 --> 00:09:16,643
just go for a quick peek,
take some pictures,

258
00:09:16,773 --> 00:09:18,079
run back, splash some water
in my hair,

259
00:09:18,209 --> 00:09:21,865
"Oh, Mitchell, isn't floating
so relaxing?"

260
00:09:21,996 --> 00:09:22,910
[indistinct shouting]

261
00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:25,739
[bat clangs]

262
00:09:26,870 --> 00:09:28,089
Got it!

263
00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:29,220
Nice catch.

264
00:09:29,351 --> 00:09:30,700
Oh.
That was good.

265
00:09:30,831 --> 00:09:33,529
Oh, my gosh. Uh, M-Mr. Brett.
I didn't know you would be here.

266
00:09:33,660 --> 00:09:34,878
Hi. Call me George.Oh, George.

267
00:09:35,009 --> 00:09:37,098
Yeah, how are ya?Uh, good.
My name's Cameron.

268
00:09:37,228 --> 00:09:38,229
Nice to meet you, Cam.

269
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:39,535
Nice to meet you.
Been a fan for --

270
00:09:39,666 --> 00:09:41,015
Hey, do you mind if
I get a picture?

271
00:09:41,145 --> 00:09:41,885
Not at all. Not at all.

272
00:09:42,016 --> 00:09:43,539
300 bucks,
how's that sound?

273
00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:45,062
I'm retired.

274
00:09:45,193 --> 00:09:46,542
300?I'm just kidding.

275
00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:48,152
Oh.
[both laugh]

276
00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:49,327
Come on, it's free.

277
00:09:49,458 --> 00:09:50,372
Okay -- Ow!

278
00:09:50,502 --> 00:09:51,852
[both laugh]

279
00:09:51,982 --> 00:09:53,549
Alright.[cellphone camera clicks]

280
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,551
There it is.
There they are! Oh, my God!There ya go! There ya go!

281
00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:56,683
Well, listen, I don't want to
take up too much of your time.

282
00:09:56,813 --> 00:09:57,640
Thank you s--

283
00:09:57,771 --> 00:09:58,902
I got all the time
in the world.

284
00:09:59,033 --> 00:10:00,121
I'm not playing.
I'm just coaching.
Ohh.

285
00:10:00,251 --> 00:10:01,470
Okay.
Yeah. Come here.

286
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:02,819
Let me tell you the story
about the Pine Tar game.

287
00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:04,734
Oh, wow!
You wanna
hear that?

288
00:10:04,865 --> 00:10:05,866
Sure.
Come on.

289
00:10:05,996 --> 00:10:07,519
Okay.
But first, let me
tell you about --

290
00:10:07,650 --> 00:10:09,696
I'm gonna tell you about dinner
the night before.
Oh.

291
00:10:12,699 --> 00:10:14,614
You must be
the genius boyfriend.

292
00:10:14,744 --> 00:10:16,137
That is what
the guys call me.

293
00:10:16,267 --> 00:10:17,747
They're always,
like, you know,

294
00:10:17,878 --> 00:10:21,272
"Hey, genius."
I'm like, "Hey, guys."

295
00:10:21,403 --> 00:10:23,623
So, tell me,
are there aliens?

296
00:10:23,753 --> 00:10:24,841
You kidding? 100%.

297
00:10:24,972 --> 00:10:27,714
Oh, I knew it. Wait,
and the zombiepocalypse?

298
00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:28,976
Dude, I tell everyone,

299
00:10:29,106 --> 00:10:32,544
"Start building up an immunity
to zombie bites. Now."

300
00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:34,764
I'm so glad we talked.

301
00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:37,680
Um. Sorry for
the interruption.

302
00:10:37,811 --> 00:10:38,681
Everything okay?

303
00:10:38,812 --> 00:10:39,987
Well, the short story
is, yes.

304
00:10:40,117 --> 00:10:41,118
The -- The long story is,

305
00:10:41,249 --> 00:10:43,338
the theory
on which I've based

306
00:10:43,468 --> 00:10:45,862
much of my career
has just been disproven.

307
00:10:45,993 --> 00:10:49,170
What? Your Vacuum
Energy Density Theory?
I'm -- I'm so sorry.

308
00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:50,562
Me, too.

309
00:10:50,693 --> 00:10:53,087
That was the density theory
I thought really worked.

310
00:10:53,217 --> 00:10:55,089
Really, Phil, what
was your second choice?

311
00:10:55,219 --> 00:10:57,787
Well, that's all part
of the process, isn't it?

312
00:10:57,918 --> 00:11:00,660
My theory actually invalidated
someone else's.
Mm.

313
00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:03,401
He jumped off a building --

314
00:11:03,532 --> 00:11:05,447
just very dramatic.

315
00:11:05,577 --> 00:11:08,755
But, well, I'm British.
So, no worries.

316
00:11:08,885 --> 00:11:10,234
[sighs]

317
00:11:10,365 --> 00:11:12,802
What smells so good?Uh. Uh, it's the chicken!

318
00:11:12,933 --> 00:11:15,544
So, Bill,
you are a firefighter?

319
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:17,720
Yeah, my three favorite things
are helping people,

320
00:11:17,851 --> 00:11:20,375
sliding down poles,
and hanging off trucks,

321
00:11:20,505 --> 00:11:22,856
so I figured might as well
make a career out of it.

322
00:11:22,986 --> 00:11:23,900
Well, it's good that
your favorite things

323
00:11:24,031 --> 00:11:27,643
weren't chloroform, duct tape,
and windowless vans.

324
00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:29,123
[laughter]

325
00:11:29,253 --> 00:11:32,735
Claire, the joke is
he'd be a kidnapper.

326
00:11:32,866 --> 00:11:33,997
I got it.

327
00:11:34,128 --> 00:11:36,870
You know, Phil used to think
it was "duck" tape.

328
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,436
[laughs]
Like, duck.

329
00:11:38,567 --> 00:11:40,787
Claire didn't understand
the ending of La La Land.

330
00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:43,615
Sorry. They're not
normally like this.

331
00:11:43,746 --> 00:11:44,878
Clearly, they're
going through something

332
00:11:45,008 --> 00:11:47,054
they can't even drop
for one important lunch.

333
00:11:47,184 --> 00:11:48,229
They're arguing over
who's smarter,

334
00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:49,709
and there's only one way
to settle it.

335
00:11:49,839 --> 00:11:51,885
Another time, in the presence
of a marriage counselor?

336
00:11:52,015 --> 00:11:52,799
Nope. Brain Battle.

337
00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:54,017
No. No, we're not doing
that right now.

338
00:11:54,148 --> 00:11:56,977
I'm so sorry, Arvin.
We're being silly.

339
00:11:57,107 --> 00:11:58,674
"How many presidents
died in office?"

340
00:11:58,805 --> 00:11:59,806
-Eight.
-Six.

341
00:11:59,936 --> 00:12:01,068
The correct answer
is eight.

342
00:12:01,198 --> 00:12:03,418
Ha! Ha!
Damn it.
Give me another one.

343
00:12:03,548 --> 00:12:05,289
Why was six afraid of seven?

344
00:12:06,508 --> 00:12:08,858
'Cause seven, eight, nine.

345
00:12:08,989 --> 00:12:10,381
[chuckles]

346
00:12:10,512 --> 00:12:11,469
You know,
like he "ate" it.

347
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:12,819
"Who wrote Moby-Dick?"

348
00:12:12,949 --> 00:12:14,908
Herman Munster.
HermanMunster.

349
00:12:15,038 --> 00:12:16,953
Herman Melville.Melville!

350
00:12:17,084 --> 00:12:19,477
"How many moons
does Jupiter have?"

351
00:12:19,869 --> 00:12:23,699
Oh, is it alright
if I take this one?Mm-hmm.

352
00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:25,919
27.
67.

353
00:12:26,049 --> 00:12:28,008
Hmm? No, that's --
that's wrong.

354
00:12:28,138 --> 00:12:32,534
67 is Uranus and Jupiter's 27,
right, Alex?

355
00:12:32,664 --> 00:12:33,709
Actually, no.

356
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,972
But it's
a simple mistake, though.

357
00:12:36,103 --> 00:12:37,495
You just flipped them.

358
00:12:37,626 --> 00:12:38,801
Well, this is mortifying,
isn't it?

359
00:12:38,932 --> 00:12:42,500
I have a doctorate
in astrophysics. Idiot.

360
00:12:42,631 --> 00:12:46,722
First, some puffed-up Swedes
invalidate my life's work.

361
00:12:46,853 --> 00:12:50,204
And then I'm bested by
a little bedtime gurgle cup!

362
00:12:50,334 --> 00:12:53,294
I'm sorry.
I'm going to need a moment.

363
00:12:53,424 --> 00:12:55,557
67 moons.
What an idiot.

364
00:12:55,687 --> 00:12:56,906
[footsteps]

365
00:12:57,037 --> 00:12:58,865
Well, all's I know is

366
00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:00,867
the Earth only has one moon

367
00:13:00,997 --> 00:13:01,868
and I saw a documentary

368
00:13:01,998 --> 00:13:04,000
and, uh, we didn't even
land on it.

369
00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:06,002
Oh, my God,
stop talking.

370
00:13:06,916 --> 00:13:09,876
You know,
you're being kind of mean.

371
00:13:10,006 --> 00:13:11,225
I'm gonna need
a moment, too.

372
00:13:11,355 --> 00:13:12,792
This is why I don't bring
boyfriends home.

373
00:13:12,922 --> 00:13:15,969
Why didn't you ask me before
inviting him to lunch?

374
00:13:18,319 --> 00:13:20,930
"This Paul Newman character
had a 'cool hand'?"

375
00:13:21,061 --> 00:13:22,932
Luke!
Yep.

376
00:13:23,063 --> 00:13:24,151
Counts! Counts.

377
00:13:24,281 --> 00:13:29,373
Henry's dad climbed the wall
with one hand! It was awesome!

378
00:13:29,504 --> 00:13:31,549
Yeah, well, his career
rides on Matt Damon

379
00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:33,987
not doing any artsy,
think-y movies,

380
00:13:34,117 --> 00:13:35,031
so I wouldn't
count on Henry

381
00:13:35,162 --> 00:13:36,903
going to your school
much longer.[siren chirps]

382
00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:39,688
[tires screech, siren wailing]

383
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:42,299
What the hell?
I made that light.

384
00:13:42,430 --> 00:13:43,823
Oh, geez.
Another ticket.

385
00:13:43,953 --> 00:13:46,173
Henry's mom drove a tank!

386
00:13:46,303 --> 00:13:48,828
Henry's mom!
Henry's mom!

387
00:13:48,958 --> 00:13:50,830
[engine revs]What are you doing,
Gloria?

388
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:52,788
I want to see
Henry's mom do this!

389
00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:55,486
[tires screech]

390
00:13:55,617 --> 00:13:57,053
[siren wailing]

391
00:13:57,184 --> 00:13:59,142
Yay! He's chasing us!

392
00:13:59,273 --> 00:14:00,361
This feels like
a bad idea.

393
00:14:00,491 --> 00:14:01,884
Okay, too late, because
I'm already committed!

394
00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:03,364
[watch beeps]
Heart rate -- high.

395
00:14:03,494 --> 00:14:05,583
Heart rate -- high.What is the plan,
Gloria?

396
00:14:05,714 --> 00:14:06,758
We're going to the mall!

397
00:14:06,889 --> 00:14:08,108
You know I tease you
about your shopping,

398
00:14:08,238 --> 00:14:10,719
but you do
have a problem.

399
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,765
[tires screech]

400
00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:16,725
Okay. Get down
and don't move.

401
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:20,076
That's gonna be tough.
I can smell Cinnabon.

402
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:24,907
Hey!

403
00:14:25,038 --> 00:14:26,648
Where have you been?
Oh, hey.

404
00:14:26,778 --> 00:14:28,215
I just stayed in the tank
a little -- a little extra.

405
00:14:28,345 --> 00:14:29,303
How -- What a great
experience.

406
00:14:29,433 --> 00:14:31,131
Just being alone
with yourself -- Oh!

407
00:14:31,261 --> 00:14:32,567
Oh, I was never alone.

408
00:14:32,697 --> 00:14:34,003
I-I saw the face
of every bully,

409
00:14:34,134 --> 00:14:36,179
I replayed every
humiliation --

410
00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:37,398
Okay. Is this about
"Bett" Davis again?

411
00:14:37,528 --> 00:14:39,748
Okay, we had just watched
Ruthless People.

412
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:42,098
You're thinking Midler.
You gotta let it go.

413
00:14:42,229 --> 00:14:42,925
I know.
I'm -- I'm gonna try.

414
00:14:43,056 --> 00:14:45,014
But as scared
as I was in there,

415
00:14:45,145 --> 00:14:46,363
I kept thinking
about how

416
00:14:46,494 --> 00:14:48,148
you're the one person
who makes me feel safe.

417
00:14:48,278 --> 00:14:51,238
And it -- it made me want to be
a better husband...
Aww.

418
00:14:51,368 --> 00:14:52,369
...to be more present,

419
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:53,936
to be more understanding,
to --

420
00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:57,157
Why's --
Why's your face red?Oh, is it?

421
00:14:57,287 --> 00:14:58,375
Yeah.
Is it?

422
00:14:58,506 --> 00:14:59,594
Oh, just probably 'cause
of the toxins, you know --

423
00:14:59,724 --> 00:15:00,812
And your arms, too,
but only up to the --

424
00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:02,945
You have a farmer's tan.

425
00:15:03,076 --> 00:15:05,121
What have I told you
about that expression?
I can say it, but --

426
00:15:05,252 --> 00:15:07,863
Oh, my --
T-That's why you're burned.

427
00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:09,125
You went Royal watching!

428
00:15:09,256 --> 00:15:10,910
I was only gonna stay for
a second, but George Brett --

429
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,259
George -- George Brett
cornered me.

430
00:15:12,389 --> 00:15:13,651
Who?
And you know how I am
with famous people.

431
00:15:13,782 --> 00:15:14,870
I can't say "No."

432
00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:17,090
Remember when I spent
the entire day at the pool

433
00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:18,352
with Downtown Julie Brown?

434
00:15:18,482 --> 00:15:19,831
You shamed me
into coming here

435
00:15:19,962 --> 00:15:22,791
only to leave me soaking in a --
in a bowl of trauma soup?

436
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,053
Okay, whoa, whoa.
W-What happened about be--

437
00:15:24,184 --> 00:15:25,359
being more understanding?

438
00:15:25,489 --> 00:15:27,056
I-I can't believe you're turning
this into my fault.

439
00:15:27,187 --> 00:15:28,188
This is so like you, Cam.
This --

440
00:15:28,318 --> 00:15:29,580
Hello, again.

441
00:15:29,711 --> 00:15:32,409
Please follow me to
your guided silent meditation.

442
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:35,151
Before we begin,

443
00:15:35,282 --> 00:15:37,937
the chef has asked me
to reassure everyone

444
00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:40,069
that there's nothing wrong
with the tempeh.

445
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:43,029
It's supposed to
taste that way.

446
00:15:43,159 --> 00:15:44,030
Alright.

447
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:47,076
Deep breath.
In through the nose.

448
00:15:47,207 --> 00:15:48,512
Out through the mouth.

449
00:15:48,643 --> 00:15:52,038
Only in silence can we
be truly present.

450
00:15:52,168 --> 00:15:53,691
But be prepared --

451
00:15:53,822 --> 00:15:55,955
errant feelings may arise.

452
00:15:56,085 --> 00:15:59,697
Anxiety, doubt, anger...

453
00:15:59,828 --> 00:16:01,134
Now, take a breath

454
00:16:01,264 --> 00:16:05,138
and let those feelings pass
like clouds in the sky.

455
00:16:05,268 --> 00:16:08,054
The tension is melting away.

456
00:16:08,184 --> 00:16:09,707
That's it.

457
00:16:09,838 --> 00:16:15,931
Live in this moment of serenity
and stillness.

458
00:16:16,062 --> 00:16:19,195
We're so accustomed to
going, going, going.

459
00:16:19,326 --> 00:16:23,025
But we need to just stop.

460
00:16:23,156 --> 00:16:25,114
Ask yourself
the important questions.

461
00:16:25,245 --> 00:16:29,292
Are you running away
from difficult feelings?

462
00:16:29,423 --> 00:16:30,946
[no audio]

463
00:16:31,077 --> 00:16:33,775
Are you holding on
to petty grievances?

464
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:38,475
Are you being the best you?

465
00:16:39,215 --> 00:16:42,044
It's not too late
to find your way back.

466
00:16:42,175 --> 00:16:44,351
To the light,

467
00:16:44,481 --> 00:16:47,093
to forgiveness,

468
00:16:47,223 --> 00:16:50,052
to love.

469
00:16:50,183 --> 00:16:51,053
It was amazing.

470
00:16:51,184 --> 00:16:52,315
There were no words,

471
00:16:52,446 --> 00:16:53,969
but I could feel Cam

472
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:56,319
taking full responsibility
for our fight.

473
00:16:56,450 --> 00:16:59,279
Total silence,
but Mitchell's eyes said,

474
00:16:59,409 --> 00:17:00,715
"It's all on me."

475
00:17:00,845 --> 00:17:03,935
You know, "I was wrong.
What would I do without you?"

476
00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:05,589
It was a beautiful weekend.

477
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:07,069
Plus, George Brett
signed my ball.

478
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:08,331
[chuckles]

479
00:17:08,462 --> 00:17:10,768
Oh, "To Cam, all my best wishes,
George Brett.

480
00:17:10,899 --> 00:17:13,902
P.S. We are not done with this"?

481
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,251
Mitchell!

482
00:17:15,382 --> 00:17:17,558
Did you write on my ball?!

483
00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:21,127
Hey, where's Bill?

484
00:17:21,257 --> 00:17:22,693
I don't know.
He's probably outside.

485
00:17:22,824 --> 00:17:25,000
When he gets agitated,
he likes to climb stuff.

486
00:17:25,131 --> 00:17:28,047
That lunch was insane.
Can you believe Mom and Dad?

487
00:17:28,177 --> 00:17:30,571
No, and, uh,
I can't believe you, either.

488
00:17:30,701 --> 00:17:32,051
You're so mean to Bill.

489
00:17:32,181 --> 00:17:33,356
What do you have
against hot people?

490
00:17:33,487 --> 00:17:35,532
What did we ever
do to you?
You lost me.

491
00:17:35,663 --> 00:17:37,012
You're gonna blow it
with that guy,

492
00:17:37,143 --> 00:17:38,274
and he's really nice.

493
00:17:38,405 --> 00:17:40,320
Why do you have to
make him feel so dumb?

494
00:17:40,450 --> 00:17:41,930
Okay, you don't know
what you're talking about.

495
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:43,192
Oh, yes, I do.

496
00:17:43,323 --> 00:17:45,281
Because it's the same way
you've always treated me.

497
00:17:45,412 --> 00:17:46,587
It sucks.

498
00:17:46,717 --> 00:17:49,068
You know what Arvin
never does?

499
00:17:49,198 --> 00:17:50,373
Makes me feel
less smart than him.

500
00:17:50,504 --> 00:17:53,159
So, who cares if Bill's
not a member of Menses?

501
00:17:53,289 --> 00:17:55,639
Look, this is the first
boyfriend you've ever had

502
00:17:55,770 --> 00:17:57,989
that is age appropriate,
employed,

503
00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:00,253
and doesn't look like
he's dying on a ship.

504
00:18:00,383 --> 00:18:01,167
I wouldn't say
"boyfriend."

505
00:18:01,297 --> 00:18:03,604
He's more like
a guilty pleasure.

506
00:18:03,734 --> 00:18:05,562
Guilty or not, that's the first
time I've ever heard you

507
00:18:05,693 --> 00:18:07,521
describe a guy
as a "pleasure."

508
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,965
Bill, I'm sorry!

509
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,184
BILL: All good, babe.

510
00:18:18,314 --> 00:18:20,882
You're the one fire
I can't put out.

511
00:18:21,012 --> 00:18:23,363
Well, also grease
is pretty tricky.

512
00:18:25,321 --> 00:18:27,671
Arvin?

513
00:18:27,802 --> 00:18:29,369
TOGETHER: Oh.

514
00:18:29,499 --> 00:18:31,110
Arvin, hi.
Are you okay?

515
00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:32,546
Yeah. Oh, yes. Yes.

516
00:18:32,676 --> 00:18:33,634
Um...yes.

517
00:18:33,764 --> 00:18:37,072
I-I'm -- I'm just
a-a little embarrassed.

518
00:18:37,203 --> 00:18:38,291
We're the ones who should
be embarrassed.

519
00:18:38,421 --> 00:18:41,032
We just made lunch
so tense and weird.

520
00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:42,077
Yeah.
Well, I'm --

521
00:18:42,208 --> 00:18:45,254
I'm not terribly adept
at handling failure.

522
00:18:45,385 --> 00:18:49,084
My parents are both
overachieving academics --

523
00:18:49,215 --> 00:18:51,608
a doctor of philosophy and a --
a doctor of mathematics.

524
00:18:51,739 --> 00:18:52,696
Oh.
Wow!

525
00:18:52,827 --> 00:18:54,133
And Father is
a doctor of medicine

526
00:18:54,263 --> 00:18:56,396
and a doctor of economics.

527
00:18:56,526 --> 00:18:59,268
Yeah. I'm sorry.
I-I just need to shake it off.

528
00:18:59,399 --> 00:19:00,835
You know,
stiff-upper-lip it.

529
00:19:00,965 --> 00:19:02,184
[chuckles]
Yeah, it's fine.

530
00:19:02,315 --> 00:19:04,099
Can we just pretend
it never happened?

531
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:05,274
No.

532
00:19:05,405 --> 00:19:07,276
No, failure sucks.

533
00:19:07,407 --> 00:19:09,452
It's okay to feel bad.

534
00:19:09,583 --> 00:19:11,280
Yeah, wallow a little.
Eat some ice cream.

535
00:19:11,411 --> 00:19:13,848
Day drink, that's how you
come out the other side.

536
00:19:13,978 --> 00:19:15,023
[clicks tongue]

537
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,678
You're -- You're like
the inverse of my parents.

538
00:19:17,808 --> 00:19:19,245
Except the drinking.

539
00:19:19,375 --> 00:19:20,855
They're pickled
most of the day.

540
00:19:20,985 --> 00:19:23,423
Well, you're not
in their house.

541
00:19:23,553 --> 00:19:26,339
This is House Dunphy --
We fail here.

542
00:19:26,469 --> 00:19:27,818
Right. I mean,
today our whole goal

543
00:19:27,949 --> 00:19:29,864
was to impress you.
We made fools of ourselves.

544
00:19:29,994 --> 00:19:32,258
I have a magic shop that's
bleeding money -- thousands.

545
00:19:32,388 --> 00:19:34,173
What?
It's fine.

546
00:19:34,303 --> 00:19:35,609
Hey, what's all this, then?
Oh, whoa.

547
00:19:35,739 --> 00:19:38,046
Did I get that from you?
Am I becoming Madonna?

548
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,527
Your parents were actually
being quite lovely.

549
00:19:40,657 --> 00:19:42,703
Thank you for
taking the time.

550
00:19:43,486 --> 00:19:46,924
Oh, and my parents' walls
may be adorned

551
00:19:47,055 --> 00:19:48,622
with nothing
but degrees and awards,

552
00:19:48,752 --> 00:19:53,627
but they don't have one tenth
of your emotional intelligence.

553
00:19:53,757 --> 00:19:55,759
Aww!
Thank you.

554
00:19:55,890 --> 00:19:58,849
But would you say it's an
absolutely equal emotional...If you had to
pick a winner --

555
00:19:58,980 --> 00:20:00,068
Okay, stop it....intelligence.
Just --

556
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,939
[footsteps]

557
00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:04,333
That was so fun.

558
00:20:04,464 --> 00:20:05,769
My heart is racing.

559
00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:08,294
You? My watch dialed
my cardiologist.

560
00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:10,513
I've never run
from the cops before.

561
00:20:10,644 --> 00:20:12,167
Me either.[siren chirps]

562
00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:14,300
Lights!

563
00:20:14,430 --> 00:20:17,694
I can't wait to tell everyone
how cool you guys are!

564
00:20:17,825 --> 00:20:19,218
We're not cool, Joe.

565
00:20:19,348 --> 00:20:20,697
That's not
what people do

566
00:20:20,828 --> 00:20:22,003
when a policeman
pulls them over.

567
00:20:22,133 --> 00:20:23,918
In fact, there's nothing
cool about us.

568
00:20:24,048 --> 00:20:26,007
Well, I don't think
we should be lumped into --

569
00:20:26,137 --> 00:20:28,009
[siren chirps]Lights!

570
00:20:28,139 --> 00:20:30,359
Joe, there are more important
things than being cool.

571
00:20:30,490 --> 00:20:32,100
Uh, like what?

572
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:33,493
Look, the point is, Joe,
we love you too much

573
00:20:33,623 --> 00:20:37,018
to let you think dumb moves
like this are okay.

574
00:20:37,148 --> 00:20:39,934
So, what do we do now?

575
00:20:40,064 --> 00:20:41,544
We're gonna do
the right thing.

576
00:20:41,675 --> 00:20:43,894
[seat belt clicks]

577
00:20:45,461 --> 00:20:47,246
[vehicle door closes]

578
00:20:47,376 --> 00:20:48,943
Officer!

579
00:20:49,073 --> 00:20:50,161
Uh...

580
00:20:54,514 --> 00:20:56,516
Where's Cinnabon?

581
00:20:58,387 --> 00:21:01,390
GEORGE:
Sure enough, they call me out
for using too much pine tar.

582
00:21:01,521 --> 00:21:04,785
I run out there and just go
berserk on these umpires.

583
00:21:04,915 --> 00:21:06,265
But everybody
remembers --Ugh!

584
00:21:06,395 --> 00:21:07,570
Watch out.
That's a base.Yeah. Yeah.

585
00:21:07,701 --> 00:21:08,963
That's third base.Third base.

586
00:21:09,093 --> 00:21:10,356
That's where I used to play.
You remember that?

587
00:21:10,486 --> 00:21:11,966
Yeah. Yeah.
Should we do --

588
00:21:12,096 --> 00:21:13,707
So, when you would
stand here,

589
00:21:13,837 --> 00:21:15,578
you would just kind of basically
be in an athletic --

590
00:21:15,709 --> 00:21:17,014
I played college
football --You would get here.

591
00:21:17,145 --> 00:21:18,625
GEORGE: You would get
right here like this and say,

592
00:21:18,755 --> 00:21:20,017
"Please don't
hit it to me."

593
00:21:20,148 --> 00:21:21,018
[both laugh]

594
00:21:21,149 --> 00:21:22,368
CAM:
That's how I feel!

595
00:21:22,498 --> 00:21:23,804
I'm gonna get you back!

596
00:21:23,934 --> 00:21:25,371
[laughs]

597
00:21:28,461 --> 00:21:31,072
--Captions by VITAC--