1 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,374 Dylan? Oh, Mr. D. 2 00:00:06,407 --> 00:00:07,708 You jog here, too? 3 00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:09,643 I'm a half a block from my house. 4 00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:11,045 Are you wearing boots? 5 00:00:11,079 --> 00:00:13,514 Okay, this is less of a coincidence than it seems. 6 00:00:14,082 --> 00:00:16,517 I've been following you around for a few days. 7 00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:17,885 It's about Haley. 8 00:00:17,918 --> 00:00:19,387 I know she's in a relationship, 9 00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:21,722 but I love her, and I think she loves me. 10 00:00:21,755 --> 00:00:23,357 Dylan, I heard about what happened. 11 00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:24,725 I wouldn't read too much into it. 12 00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:26,160 It was only one kiss. 13 00:00:26,194 --> 00:00:27,195 Uh... 14 00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:29,330 Oh, no. 15 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:30,364 Two kisses? 16 00:00:30,398 --> 00:00:31,832 Okay. 17 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:34,001 I went to Dylan's house to tell him it wasn't okay 18 00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:36,537 that we kissed, and I ended up sleeping with him. 19 00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:38,572 I would go back to his house to tell him it wasn't okay 20 00:00:38,606 --> 00:00:40,341 we slept together, but where does that go? 21 00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:41,375 [ Chuckles ] 22 00:00:41,409 --> 00:00:43,511 Anyway, I just want to talk to her, 23 00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:44,845 and she won't return my calls. 24 00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,180 She's ghosting you? 25 00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:48,382 For an older dude, you always kept up with the lingo. 26 00:00:48,416 --> 00:00:50,184 Word. 27 00:00:50,218 --> 00:00:51,419 Aw, I'm sorry, man. 28 00:00:51,452 --> 00:00:53,354 You're a good guy. You deserve better than being ghosted. 29 00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:55,022 I'll talk to her. You'd do that for me? 30 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,024 Yeah, I'll throw her a gab. You stab me? 31 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,092 Huh? 32 00:00:58,126 --> 00:01:00,027 Darn it. I think Luke's messing with me. 33 00:01:08,269 --> 00:01:11,272 ** 34 00:01:14,442 --> 00:01:15,443 [ Italian accent ] Mama mia! 35 00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:16,877 What is-a wrong-a with-a my arm-a? 36 00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:18,212 [ New York accent ] Fuggedaboutit! 37 00:01:18,246 --> 00:01:19,780 Youse arm's fine! 38 00:01:19,813 --> 00:01:22,116 Ah, then why-a won't you take a big-a, juicy bite out of it? 39 00:01:22,150 --> 00:01:24,718 Yo, Luigi, I think what we got here 40 00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:26,787 is a communication problem. 41 00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:31,292 See, when I said I wanted to eat Italian... 42 00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:32,426 And scene. And scene. 43 00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:33,627 Bravo! 44 00:01:33,661 --> 00:01:36,096 They just made that scene up as they were going, 45 00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:38,899 and then at the end, there was a funny twist. 46 00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,234 Okay, for this next scene, 47 00:01:40,268 --> 00:01:41,902 Sherry will play a famous person. 48 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,604 Lou Diamond Phillips! 49 00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:45,573 Excellent. And, Jay, I need an occupation. 50 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:47,074 I agree. 51 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:50,411 So, it turns out Manny's fake Canadian girlfriend is real 52 00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:52,112 and annoying. 53 00:01:52,146 --> 00:01:54,415 Until he goes back to school, she's staying here 54 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,817 and auditioning to be an improv star, 55 00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:59,920 just like, you know, no one ever. 56 00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:03,424 Boy, oh, boy, did that summer fly by or what? 57 00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,326 Anyway, off you go. Bye, Jay. 58 00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:07,094 I miss already you, papi. 59 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,829 He'll be back in three days to do his laundry. 60 00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:09,930 I'll miss you, too. 61 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:10,764 Come here, Teddy Bear. 62 00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:11,632 -Mwah! -Mwah! 63 00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:13,867 See you Saturday. I can't wait. 64 00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:19,807 Okay, I'll be upstairs, doing space work. 65 00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:26,280 Gloria, quick question -- 66 00:02:26,314 --> 00:02:27,815 why is that person still here? 67 00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:29,817 Ay! I didn't tell you? 68 00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:32,953 Don't even. The college won't let Sherry 69 00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:34,688 live in the dorm with Manny, 70 00:02:34,722 --> 00:02:35,989 so she's gonna stay here. 71 00:02:36,023 --> 00:02:38,859 I am going to make a delicious sandwich. You want one? 72 00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:41,161 I don't want a sandwich. I want her out of my house. 73 00:02:41,195 --> 00:02:42,530 And I kind of want a sandwich. 74 00:02:42,563 --> 00:02:45,833 This is Manny's first serious relationship. 75 00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:47,134 I used to tell him, 76 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,470 "I know that one day you're gonna find a woman 77 00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:52,706 that will appreciate all your gifts." 78 00:02:52,740 --> 00:02:54,007 But I didn't know. 79 00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:56,143 You're saying you don't find her annoying? 80 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,479 No. I think she's funny. And don't worry. 81 00:02:58,512 --> 00:02:59,713 She's only gonna stay here 82 00:02:59,747 --> 00:03:02,650 until she can support herself doing improv. 83 00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:04,184 Well, put her name on the answering machine, 84 00:03:04,218 --> 00:03:05,719 'cause she's not going anywhere. 85 00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:08,989 We're only lucky enough to get one Wayne Brady in a lifetime. 86 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:09,657 [ Birds chirping ] 87 00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:12,526 Hey. I just ran into Dylan. 88 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,262 He told me what happened between you two. 89 00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:15,396 Look, whatever he said -- Relax. 90 00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:17,030 I know you kissed him again. 91 00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:18,198 Okay. 92 00:03:18,232 --> 00:03:19,267 You clearly inherited 93 00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:21,034 the power of the Dunphy kiss. 94 00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:23,371 Take it from me. That can really mess with a man. 95 00:03:23,404 --> 00:03:24,705 You need to stop ghosting him. 96 00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:26,874 [ Sighs ] I know. It's just so hard. 97 00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:28,075 I mean, I'm with Arvin, 98 00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:29,777 who hasn't talked to me since I told him I kissed Dylan, 99 00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:32,546 and every time I talk to Dylan, I end up...kissing him. 100 00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:33,881 It's very confusing. 101 00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:35,716 Well, Dylan's a sensitive guy. 102 00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:37,217 After all your history together, 103 00:03:37,251 --> 00:03:38,719 he deserves to know where he stands. 104 00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:39,753 You should talk to him. 105 00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:42,055 Fine. I'll tell him to come over. 106 00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:44,392 Use the blowfish emoji. 107 00:03:44,425 --> 00:03:46,226 It means, "Brace yourself for some bad news." 108 00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:48,262 No, it doesn't. Luke. 109 00:03:50,097 --> 00:03:51,732 [ Alarm blares on cellphone ] Hey, hey, no, no. 110 00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:53,734 I said no more screen time today, okay? 111 00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:55,403 What's so fascinating about truck videos, anyway? 112 00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:56,904 Ooh, firemen. 113 00:03:56,937 --> 00:03:58,238 Cam: All right, Lily, let's go. 114 00:03:58,272 --> 00:03:59,407 Okay, how late are we -- 115 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:00,608 "goat loose in the house" late 116 00:04:00,641 --> 00:04:02,075 or "stubborn cow in the road" late? 117 00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:04,412 You've lived here 20 years. Please use city time. 118 00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:05,779 Oh, Cal, Cal, Cal, Cal! 119 00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:07,415 No, you're spilling all over the floor! 120 00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:08,616 [ Sighing heavily ] 121 00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:10,250 Hey, Lily, can you watch where you're going? 122 00:04:10,284 --> 00:04:11,919 Yeah, I'm the problem. 123 00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:13,587 Now we're gonna have to change his shoes. 124 00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:14,755 No, he can't wear his other shoes 125 00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:16,123 because he scribbled on those in crayon 126 00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:18,426 and it looks like a swastika, and in this day and age... 127 00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:19,927 Not just this day and age. 128 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,095 Okay. His shoes are fine. They have kids. 129 00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:23,831 They know they ruin everything. [ Chuckles ] 130 00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:26,934 Except your life. Yeah. 131 00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:28,268 Nice save. 132 00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:31,439 Another Assistant District Attorney in my office, Trent, 133 00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:33,474 invited us over for lunch, which is great 134 00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:36,009 because he is looking for a second chair 135 00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:39,647 on a very high-profile case, and I want in. 136 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,482 You know, I was second-chair washboard 137 00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:43,851 in the Grasshopper High School orchestra. 138 00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:46,454 Go on. 139 00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:48,956 So, Trent and I have so much in common. 140 00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:51,459 His husband works in a school, just like Cam, 141 00:04:51,492 --> 00:04:53,193 and they have two young kids. 142 00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:56,330 I mean, if there was a gay lawyer dating site, 143 00:04:56,364 --> 00:04:57,331 we'd be a perfect match. 144 00:04:57,365 --> 00:05:00,834 It could be called HungJuries.com. 145 00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:03,003 Good. So, get all that out before we go. 146 00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:04,004 Mm. 147 00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:06,640 Trent: Welcome. Come in. You must be Cam. 148 00:05:06,674 --> 00:05:07,641 -Hi. -Hi. I'm Trent. 149 00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:08,842 This is my husband -- Kieran. 150 00:05:08,876 --> 00:05:10,878 Hi. Nice to meet you. This is Lily and Cal. 151 00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:12,045 Sorry we're late. 152 00:05:12,079 --> 00:05:13,681 These two got into a little spat in the car, 153 00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:15,015 and we had to pull over, so... 154 00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:16,484 He burped in my face. 155 00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:17,851 You were looking at me. 156 00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:18,986 Great, great. Round 2. 157 00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:20,053 [ Laughter ] 158 00:05:20,087 --> 00:05:21,321 I'm sure you guys get it. 159 00:05:21,355 --> 00:05:23,891 Oh, totally. Our little ones are even worse in the car. 160 00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:26,394 Oh, I'll go get them so the kids can play. 161 00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:28,996 Wow. Your house, it's -- it's -- it's beautiful. 162 00:05:29,029 --> 00:05:31,164 And -- Oh, my God, this plate is gorgeous. 163 00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:32,833 Trent: Oh, thank you. Yeah, we got that in Nepal 164 00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:35,235 at a festival celebrating the child goddess Kumari. 165 00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:37,170 Oh, well, the closest I've been to a child goddess 166 00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:39,039 was my Drew Barrymore lunch box. 167 00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:40,541 [ Laughter ] 168 00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:42,410 God, your house is so clean! 169 00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:44,011 How do you keep it so clean with kids? 170 00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:45,078 Trent: Here they are. 171 00:05:45,112 --> 00:05:46,414 This is Devon and Denise. 172 00:05:46,447 --> 00:05:47,515 Oh! 173 00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:49,517 Th-Those are your -- Those are your kids. 174 00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:51,184 Oh, my God. I did it again. 175 00:05:51,218 --> 00:05:53,353 I'm so used to calling them our kids, 176 00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:55,055 sometimes I forget to clarify. 177 00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:56,056 No. It's fine. 178 00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:58,191 And isn't Devon just a little cutie? 179 00:05:58,225 --> 00:06:00,193 That's Denise. She's the funny one. 180 00:06:00,227 --> 00:06:01,429 Daddy, I'm bored. 181 00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:02,896 Okay, that's not polite, Lily. 182 00:06:02,930 --> 00:06:04,264 Now, hang on, little lady. 183 00:06:04,297 --> 00:06:06,534 I'm about to get your party started. 184 00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:10,438 This is a hand-carved backgammon set from Sri Lanka. 185 00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:11,872 Use the gloves. Have fun. 186 00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:13,373 And while the kids are playing... 187 00:06:13,407 --> 00:06:14,575 Or choking. 188 00:06:14,608 --> 00:06:15,776 ...why don't you guys join us in the kitchen? 189 00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:17,210 I'll grab us some wine. 190 00:06:17,244 --> 00:06:18,378 I hope you don't mind white. 191 00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:20,047 We lost a couch to a Cabernet incident, 192 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,049 and Trent still gets flashbacks. 193 00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:23,751 Okay. Go have fun, kids. 194 00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:24,718 -Yes! -Okay, okay. 195 00:06:24,752 --> 00:06:26,420 First of all, no drinking. 196 00:06:26,454 --> 00:06:27,721 Let me pat him down. 197 00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:29,389 All right. Let me check you. 198 00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:30,558 All right, he is clean. 199 00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:32,460 Wait. What is this? 200 00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:34,227 How did that get in there? 201 00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:36,063 Okay, okay, look. Hey, come here. 202 00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:38,466 Just sit here. Do not move. 203 00:06:38,499 --> 00:06:40,400 You can play with Devon...ise. 204 00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:42,069 Uh, you can watch your truck videos. 205 00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:43,904 Hey, don't take your eyes off of him. 206 00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:47,274 So, just to be clear, I don't get any childhood? 207 00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:51,144 Oh, please. Last week, we taught you how to make flan. 208 00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:52,580 [ Doorbell rings ] 209 00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:53,814 That's Dylan. 210 00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:55,148 You need me to stick around? 211 00:06:55,182 --> 00:06:57,451 Nope. I was just downstairs practicing what to say, 212 00:06:57,485 --> 00:07:00,187 and I am prepared for every possible scenario. 213 00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:03,624 Okay. 214 00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:06,159 Hello, love! Oh, no. 215 00:07:06,193 --> 00:07:07,761 I missed you, too, Haley. 216 00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:09,429 Surprise! 217 00:07:09,463 --> 00:07:12,099 Arvin called me from Switzerland 'cause he wanted to surprise you, 218 00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:13,601 so I snuck to the airport and picked him up. 219 00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:15,936 I can't believe we got away with it! 220 00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:17,605 Oh, good. This again. 221 00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:18,639 Yeah! 222 00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:23,443 Uh, come inside! Look at me! 223 00:07:23,477 --> 00:07:24,812 I'm gonna go make some tea! 224 00:07:24,845 --> 00:07:26,814 Yeah, look at him! 225 00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:28,181 [ Door slams ] 226 00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:30,784 Oh, hey, Mr. Dunphy. 227 00:07:30,818 --> 00:07:33,220 Ugh! Ow! You broke my heart. 228 00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:43,497 Look, Dylan -- 229 00:07:43,531 --> 00:07:45,799 No explanation necessary, Mr. D. 230 00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:47,535 If you had to rough me up and take me hostage, 231 00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:48,969 I'm sure you had your reasons. 232 00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:51,639 Okay, Dylan, first, we have to talk about your costume. 233 00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:54,007 Do you love it? It's fantastic! 234 00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:55,843 But the timing couldn't be worse. 235 00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:58,178 Why? Have a seat. 236 00:08:05,052 --> 00:08:07,387 You know what? Standing's fine. 237 00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:10,891 Listen. Uh...Arvin's here. 238 00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:13,060 He flew back from Switzerland to surprise Haley. 239 00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:16,897 Wow. I'm up against another grand gesture. 240 00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:18,231 What's he dressed as? 241 00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:20,067 Nothing. Just -- Just himself. 242 00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:22,202 [ Chuckles ] I like my chances. 243 00:08:22,235 --> 00:08:23,904 [ Laughs ] 244 00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,873 I'm sorry I didn't call you back. 245 00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:29,543 I just needed time to process the whole Dylan thing. 246 00:08:29,577 --> 00:08:32,012 That's totally understandable. 247 00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:34,014 Mom, got it from here. 248 00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:35,883 Of course. 249 00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:37,551 We really got her, huh? 250 00:08:37,585 --> 00:08:38,852 Forgive me. I can't anymore. 251 00:08:38,886 --> 00:08:40,554 I just -- I can't. Okay. Okay. 252 00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:44,858 Haley, I need to tell you something. 253 00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:46,226 I transgressed. 254 00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,527 You were a woman? 255 00:08:47,561 --> 00:08:49,096 No. No. 256 00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:51,198 After you told me about your kiss, um, 257 00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:54,367 I headed straight to a pub frequented by other scientists 258 00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:56,737 and, long story short, 259 00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:59,039 I kissed a nuclear physicist. 260 00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,708 I know it's not PC to say, 261 00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:04,244 but they really are the loosest of the scientific disciplines. 262 00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:06,213 I forgive you. 263 00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:07,581 Just like that, so fast? 264 00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:09,583 Yeah. Why not? Let's just agree we're both equally guilty, 265 00:09:09,617 --> 00:09:11,284 move on, and never talk about it again. [ Chuckles ] 266 00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:13,721 For the record, it could have gone further. 267 00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:15,555 I-I just want a little credit for that. 268 00:09:15,589 --> 00:09:17,090 Okay. 269 00:09:17,124 --> 00:09:18,759 [ Whoosh, fire crackles ] 270 00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:20,227 [ Sultry music plays on stereo ] 271 00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:21,595 Mom! 272 00:09:21,629 --> 00:09:22,730 What? 273 00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:24,431 I do this every day at 3:00. 274 00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:32,139 [ Smacks lips ] Ah. 275 00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:39,579 Harpo, what are you doing? 276 00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:41,782 Studying you, creating a character. 277 00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:42,783 Imagine I'm not here. 278 00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:44,251 I'm not that creative. 279 00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:45,585 Maybe you could help me. 280 00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:48,421 [ Laughing ] Oh! So gruff. Love it. 281 00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:49,990 I'm leaving. I'm leaving. 282 00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:51,258 Good. You go. 283 00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:53,260 [ Gasps ] Look at you, 284 00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:55,328 mis dos amigos! [ Gasps ] 285 00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:56,163 [ Hispanic accent ] Look at -- 286 00:09:56,196 --> 00:10:00,000 Look at you, mis dos amigos! 287 00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:02,135 [ Chuckles ] That does sound like me. 288 00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:04,772 You're so talented. 289 00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:06,306 Okay, that was strange. 290 00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:08,341 Gloria hates when people imitate her. 291 00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:11,344 And then Gloria says, "Where are my 'chews'? 292 00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:13,480 I cannot go to the club without my 'chews.' 293 00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:16,016 Your stupid doggie chews my 'chews'!" 294 00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:18,451 [ Laughter ] 295 00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:20,153 Ay, funny. 296 00:10:20,187 --> 00:10:23,323 Manny, come rub my ankles, papi! 297 00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:24,624 [ Chuckles ] Good, good. 298 00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:28,662 But how is your funny old man character coming? 299 00:10:28,696 --> 00:10:30,831 [ Gruff voice ] Ugh. Somebody get me a scotch 300 00:10:30,864 --> 00:10:32,332 that's as stiff as my back. 301 00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:34,467 [ Laughs ] Do that again! 302 00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:35,869 That's the money! 303 00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:37,504 How did you know she was doing that? 304 00:10:37,537 --> 00:10:40,974 [ Normal voice ] She is so supportive. It was her idea. 305 00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:42,509 And there it was. 306 00:10:42,542 --> 00:10:45,145 Gloria didn't want that weirdo here any more than I did. 307 00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:47,147 She just wanted me to be the bad guy. 308 00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:51,018 But the joke's on her, because, for short bursts of time, 309 00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:52,820 I can be quite nice. 310 00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:55,388 Trent: We're trying out a new recipe for risotto. 311 00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:57,157 We went truffle hunting in Tuscany, 312 00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,492 and we brought back a few more than we declared. 313 00:10:59,526 --> 00:11:02,529 Oh, and you, an officer of the court. 314 00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:04,064 So naughty. 315 00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:05,866 Don't worry. We're cool. 316 00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:07,500 We get our Propecia in Mexico. 317 00:11:07,534 --> 00:11:09,502 [ Laughter ] 318 00:11:09,536 --> 00:11:10,904 Tell us more about Tuscany. 319 00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:12,405 Remember when we were saving up to go there? 320 00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:13,841 What did we end up blowing that money on? 321 00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:15,008 Lily. Right. 322 00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:17,210 Oh, well, your life sounds so exciting. 323 00:11:17,244 --> 00:11:18,378 Pbht! 324 00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:20,748 Your house is so beautiful, with such nice things. 325 00:11:20,781 --> 00:11:22,682 Well, they don't have to spend their money on orthodontia, 326 00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:24,184 ballet lessons, and college funds. Yeah. 327 00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:25,585 The grass is greener. 328 00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:26,686 Your grass is greener. 329 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,688 We can't seem to get Cal to pee indoors. 330 00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:30,190 Well, your family seems great. 331 00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:32,259 And, Mitchell, you are killing it at the office. 332 00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:33,393 -Mm. -Really? 333 00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:35,362 Because I-I feel like I'm kind of getting 334 00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:37,697 more low-profile, starter cases. 335 00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:39,032 Uh, I wouldn't worry about that. 336 00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:41,401 There's actually a big case that I am working on, 337 00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:43,370 I think you will -- [ Glass breaking ] 338 00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:44,404 Oh, my God. Oh. 339 00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:46,206 What was that?! Go! Go! 340 00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:48,575 Please let it be one of their kids. 341 00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:50,243 There you are! 342 00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:52,612 Hey. Uh, Haley, do you have a sec? 343 00:11:52,645 --> 00:11:54,047 If you don't mind, we were kind of 344 00:11:54,081 --> 00:11:55,215 in the middle of something. Mm-hmm. 345 00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:57,885 Phil, what are you doing intruding on these two? 346 00:11:57,918 --> 00:11:59,052 [ Chuckles ] 347 00:11:59,086 --> 00:12:00,720 I just need to show Haley something in my office. 348 00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:02,222 I was doing a little cleaning, and I came across 349 00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:05,225 this old doll that used to mean a lot to her. 350 00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:07,560 Can't you just get rid of the doll? 351 00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:09,062 I started to, but it really seems like 352 00:12:09,096 --> 00:12:11,464 something you should do, you know, for closure. 353 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:14,634 You're right. 354 00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:16,904 Wait. You need closure from a doll? 355 00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:18,271 That seems odd. 356 00:12:18,305 --> 00:12:20,407 Well, I did sleep with that thing since I was like 16. 357 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:21,308 16? 358 00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:22,575 16? 359 00:12:22,609 --> 00:12:23,777 Oh, no. 360 00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:26,446 Dylan. 361 00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:29,082 What is Dylan doing here? 362 00:12:29,116 --> 00:12:30,417 He's making a grand gesture. 363 00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:32,119 He won't leave until he talks to Haley. 364 00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:34,254 Oh, my God. It was one kiss. 365 00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:36,589 [ Chuckling ] Poor, naive Claire. 366 00:12:36,623 --> 00:12:37,991 It was two kisses. 367 00:12:38,025 --> 00:12:39,292 You have something to do with this? 368 00:12:39,326 --> 00:12:40,593 Haley was ghosting him. 369 00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:41,594 What does that mean? 370 00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:43,430 You are so not hip. 371 00:12:43,463 --> 00:12:44,764 She wouldn't call him back, 372 00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:46,800 so I told her to do the right thing and end it -- 373 00:12:46,834 --> 00:12:48,601 or whatever -- in person. 374 00:12:48,635 --> 00:12:50,437 "Or whatever"? No "or whatever." 375 00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:52,840 She's been "or whatever-ing" since puberty. 376 00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:55,508 It is time for her to grow up. 377 00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:57,144 Doesn't matter. Look, we both want 378 00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:58,946 the same thing for her in the end. 379 00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:00,180 Absolutely. Right. 380 00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:01,781 For her to make her own decision. 381 00:13:01,815 --> 00:13:03,984 Of course. The only decision is... 382 00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:06,619 Arvin. I agree. Arvin is very impressive. 383 00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:08,455 But you should know Dylan has been 384 00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:10,357 putting himself through nursing school, 385 00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:13,493 working at the hospital, running. 386 00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:15,295 You're not honestly making a case for that guy? 387 00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:17,130 That guy would take a bullet for Haley. 388 00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:18,631 Why are you so invested in him? 389 00:13:18,665 --> 00:13:19,833 Because I was that guy! 390 00:13:19,867 --> 00:13:22,002 I was the underdog with every girl I ever liked. 391 00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:23,971 [ Sighs ] That's very sweet. 392 00:13:24,004 --> 00:13:25,472 But this isn't about you. 393 00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:27,474 This is about Haley 394 00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:31,044 being with a respected, charming scientist 395 00:13:31,078 --> 00:13:34,214 versus a guy who Lily convinced to eat a box of crayons. 396 00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:35,548 It was one bite out of one crayon. 397 00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:36,984 It was only because he was blindfolded 398 00:13:37,017 --> 00:13:39,086 and trapped in a Chinese finger puzzle. [ Fruit thuds ] 399 00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:42,890 I had no idea Arvin was going to be here, 400 00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:44,892 but can we please do this another time? 401 00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:47,394 I won't have the costume another time, Haley. 402 00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:51,564 So, this is the doll you slept with. 403 00:13:51,598 --> 00:13:54,201 Hey, you're pretty handsome yourself. 404 00:13:57,704 --> 00:13:58,838 So many questions. 405 00:13:58,872 --> 00:14:01,208 First -- why have you snuck 'round to see 406 00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:04,377 the bloke you supposedly feel terrible about kissing? 407 00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:07,147 Yo, I hope this doesn't sound braggy, but for the most part, 408 00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:09,649 people do not feel terrible about kissing me. 409 00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,151 Okay, guys, stop. 410 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:14,154 Listen to me, my simple friend. 411 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,823 I just spent 14 hours in a middle seat. 412 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,825 I suggest you get out of my space. 413 00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:21,861 Well, I suggest, next time, you ask about an exit row. 414 00:14:21,895 --> 00:14:25,332 It could still be a middle seat, but you'd have more leg room. 415 00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:26,699 You have to go! 416 00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:28,868 [ Both grunting ] 417 00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:32,172 Enough! Stop fighting or whatever this is. 418 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,707 Arvin! There you are! 419 00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:36,509 Oh. Hi, Dylan. 420 00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:38,345 Radiant as ever, Mrs. D. 421 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:39,212 Ugh. 422 00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:40,713 Haley, tell him to leave. 423 00:14:40,747 --> 00:14:42,415 Let me see if I can defuse the situation. 424 00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:44,517 Mom, Dad, stop meddling in my life. 425 00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:45,685 Outside now! 426 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:46,719 -All right. -Now! 427 00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:48,588 Okay. Okay. 428 00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:50,023 [ Sighs ] 429 00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:52,225 Help me. I don't know what to do. 430 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,062 My mask! 431 00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:56,863 We are so, so sorry. 432 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,065 I tried to block him. 433 00:14:58,098 --> 00:14:59,866 He faked going for the glass frog. 434 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,434 I can't believe it. 435 00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:03,536 Breathe, honey. Breathe. 436 00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:04,704 Can we fix it? 437 00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,373 Oh, I don't know. Do you happen to have any clay 438 00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,041 from the melted runoff of Kilimanjaro? 439 00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:09,376 Because that's what it's made of! 440 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,578 We got it on our first trip to Tanzania. 441 00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:14,214 It was blessed by the shaman that healed his psoriasis. 442 00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:16,116 Of course we'll be happy to pay to replace it. 443 00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:17,550 It's irreplaceable! [ Clay shatters ] 444 00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:19,552 [ Gasps ] Oh, my God. 445 00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,921 It's back. Oh. 446 00:15:21,955 --> 00:15:24,224 We cannot apologize enough. 447 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,558 That's probably true. 448 00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:27,727 I'll go get lunch. 449 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:28,928 Okay, this is a disaster. 450 00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:30,897 I know, but is any part of you still hearing 451 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,399 "first trip to Tanzania"? 452 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,267 He was just about to offer me the case I want. 453 00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:35,302 Well, there'll be other cases. 454 00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:37,237 No. This one involves a music producer, 455 00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:39,139 an escort, and illegal arms sales, okay? 456 00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:40,907 I want to bring them to justice. 457 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,242 Plus, they've already sold the movie rights. 458 00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:44,277 I could be played by Ryan Gosling. 459 00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:45,745 That's it, honey. Aim high. 460 00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:46,980 Oh, my God. What can we do? 461 00:15:47,014 --> 00:15:48,248 What can we do? 462 00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:49,749 [ Dog barking ] Whoa. 463 00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:51,784 [ Gasps ] 464 00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:54,254 Quick. Bite my ankle. Excuse me? 465 00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:55,588 Hurry, before they come back. I'm gonna tell them 466 00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,157 the dog did it. It'll cancel out the mask. 467 00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:59,159 Just do it. 468 00:15:59,192 --> 00:16:00,293 Harder. It needs to scar me. 469 00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:01,761 It's definitely scarring me. 470 00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:02,962 They need to believe a dog did it. 471 00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:04,797 [ Growling ] Psst. 472 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:08,801 Oh. Well, if you're -- 473 00:16:08,835 --> 00:16:10,303 you're gonna make us wait so long to eat, 474 00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:13,440 this shouldn't come as a surprise. 475 00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:14,974 [ Laughs ] 476 00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:16,343 Gloria, come here! 477 00:16:16,376 --> 00:16:18,811 You got to see this. She's on fire. 478 00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:19,846 Now, check this out. 479 00:16:19,879 --> 00:16:21,814 I can throw anything at her, 480 00:16:21,848 --> 00:16:24,451 and she can make comedy gold out of it. 481 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:25,685 Here. Um... 482 00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:28,688 John Travolta in a submarine. 483 00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:31,958 Ow! Ow! 484 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,526 Yeah, because a submarine is small. 485 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:34,961 [ Laughs ] 486 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:37,364 You were right, Gloria. She's hilarious. 487 00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:39,666 Do another one. Um... 488 00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:42,502 T. rex in a volleyball game. 489 00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:46,639 [ Laughing ] Look at that. 490 00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:49,209 It's hard to spike with little arms. 491 00:16:49,242 --> 00:16:51,544 Jay, can I talk to you in there for a second? 492 00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:53,012 Yeah, yeah. All right. 493 00:16:53,046 --> 00:16:54,647 I'll be right back. 494 00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:55,982 What a hoot! 495 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,484 What is your game, old man? 496 00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:59,186 Nothing. I'm loving this. 497 00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:01,988 My only fear is that she might hit it big and leave us. 498 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:02,989 You think I'm an idiot? 499 00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:05,358 Nobody thinks that that is funny. 500 00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:07,994 Be honest -- you want her out of here more than I do. 501 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,996 Okay, fine, but I don't want to be the mother 502 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,998 that hates her son's girlfriends. 503 00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:13,333 I don't want to be the villain anymore. 504 00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:14,501 But that's your job. 505 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:17,036 I am the quiet and fun one. 506 00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:18,838 Have you not heard her impression of you? 507 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:19,872 It's dead-on. 508 00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:21,508 You want to get rid of her, you do it. 509 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,843 I won't have to, because I can pretend 510 00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:26,913 that I like Sherry longer than you can. 511 00:17:26,946 --> 00:17:29,048 You will crack first. 512 00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:30,683 [ Hispanic accent ] You will crack first! 513 00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:32,885 Sherry, you cannot stay here. 514 00:17:32,919 --> 00:17:34,354 [ Normal voice ] What? Why? 515 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:36,723 Because you're driving me crazy. 516 00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:38,057 But I thought you liked me. 517 00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:40,026 What can I say, kid? She's rough. 518 00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,194 Let me get your bag. 519 00:17:41,228 --> 00:17:43,196 [ Door opens ] Hey, I'm back! Guess what. 520 00:17:43,230 --> 00:17:45,098 All that calligraphy I've done for the dean paid off. 521 00:17:45,132 --> 00:17:46,533 He said you can stay with me. 522 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:49,202 [ Voice breaking ] Your mom just told me she hates me. 523 00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:50,737 Mom, why would you say that? 524 00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:53,973 And scene! 525 00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:57,043 Why can't I tell Dylan to leave? 526 00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:59,078 Because you are scared 527 00:17:59,112 --> 00:18:01,881 of the first real, adult relationship 528 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,550 with the perfect man, 529 00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:04,951 and you're clinging to the past. 530 00:18:04,984 --> 00:18:07,120 Or you and Dylan have a special connection 531 00:18:07,154 --> 00:18:08,255 and you still love him. 532 00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:09,289 Not helping. 533 00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:11,291 God, they're both such great guys, 534 00:18:11,324 --> 00:18:12,392 but they're so different. 535 00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,227 How am I supposed to choose? 536 00:18:14,261 --> 00:18:15,595 How did you guys do it? 537 00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:17,397 Well, sweetheart, I -- 538 00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:18,731 I'm not gonna be any help here. 539 00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:21,601 From the minute I met your mom, there was no choice. 540 00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:24,137 She was smart. She was strong. 541 00:18:24,171 --> 00:18:26,773 She resented her father just enough to go for a guy like me. 542 00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:29,476 She -- She gave my life balance, 543 00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:31,411 and now I can't imagine it without her. 544 00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:32,779 Also, she's -- 545 00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:34,981 she's crazy hot. 546 00:18:35,014 --> 00:18:36,316 Mom? 547 00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:37,584 Well, first of all, um, 548 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:41,288 I'm a sucker for guys who say things like that. 549 00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:44,090 Your dad is the nicest, most positive person I know, 550 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,426 and he always helps me find the fun in life. 551 00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:49,596 And, uh, he is still real easy on the peepers. 552 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,664 Aww. We really are lucky. 553 00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:52,965 Oh, I know. 554 00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:55,134 [ Laughing ] I forgot what we were even fighting about. 555 00:18:55,168 --> 00:18:56,469 Me too. 556 00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:58,338 You weren't fighting. We were talking about my problem. 557 00:18:58,371 --> 00:19:00,440 Oh, yeah. Oh, honey, 558 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:02,509 you should probably just ignore everything we said 559 00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:05,845 and try to imagine your life with each of them. [ Sighs ] 560 00:19:05,878 --> 00:19:07,113 What do you see? 561 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,482 [ Breathes deeply ] 562 00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:13,520 I guess, with Arvin, I see a big, beautiful house... 563 00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:15,988 Arvin! 564 00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:17,290 Arvin, wait! 565 00:19:17,324 --> 00:19:18,625 ...lined with books, 566 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:21,194 interesting people coming in and out, 567 00:19:21,228 --> 00:19:23,696 raising kids with a brilliant man. 568 00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:26,533 [ Sniffles ] I'm so sorry. I... 569 00:19:26,566 --> 00:19:28,301 Oh, well. 570 00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:31,003 Now I may have to use my genius for evil. 571 00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:33,005 You're my origin story. 572 00:19:33,039 --> 00:19:34,207 What? 573 00:19:34,241 --> 00:19:37,410 Every supervillain has a reason they're so... 574 00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:40,847 You know, maybe this is for the best. 575 00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:45,885 With Dylan, I see us in a cute, little place 576 00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:48,388 that needs a ton of work. 577 00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:50,990 We may not have all the nicest things, 578 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:55,328 but there's music and laughing, 579 00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:58,231 and I know I can always be myself, 580 00:19:58,265 --> 00:19:59,399 and he'll always love me for it. 581 00:19:59,432 --> 00:20:02,335 Um... 582 00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:04,504 I just got out of a relationship. 583 00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:07,740 [ Sniffles ] I'm, like, a complete mess. 584 00:20:07,774 --> 00:20:10,510 That's perfect. I love messes. 585 00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:13,913 Can we, uh, take a step back 586 00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:15,515 and just go out on a date? 587 00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:17,384 Sure. 588 00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:18,685 Your chariot awaits. 589 00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:21,421 I couldn't fit in my car, you know. 590 00:20:21,454 --> 00:20:23,556 [ Both laugh ] 591 00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:27,026 Okay, I'll just -- Oh! 592 00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:28,227 [ Laughs ] 593 00:20:28,261 --> 00:20:30,897 We're never gonna be able to retire, are we? 594 00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:32,031 Nope. 595 00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:38,271 ** 596 00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:43,410 Ah. I'm sorry the juicy trial didn't work out. 597 00:20:43,443 --> 00:20:44,744 Are you okay? 598 00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:46,879 Yeah. I-I guess if I had to do it all over again, 599 00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:48,281 I wouldn't have told you to bite me. 600 00:20:48,315 --> 00:20:51,584 Weird how I just went along with that, no questions. 601 00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:53,753 Oh, and speaking of doing it all over again, 602 00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:55,388 do you ever regret having kids? 603 00:20:55,422 --> 00:20:56,623 Of course not. 604 00:20:56,656 --> 00:20:58,725 I mean, do I sometimes look back 605 00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,293 and wish everything was different? 606 00:21:00,327 --> 00:21:01,928 If you say "yes," that is regret. 607 00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:05,064 Then, no, because if we didn't have them, 608 00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:07,800 I would be Trent -- an uptight lunatic 609 00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:10,136 who falls apart over a broken tchotchke. 610 00:21:10,169 --> 00:21:12,071 I mean, kids give you perspective. 611 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,941 You realize what's important, to let go of -- 612 00:21:14,974 --> 00:21:16,476 [ Glass breaks, children giggle ] 613 00:21:16,509 --> 00:21:18,578 And there goes our last nice thing. 614 00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:21,514 Thank God we're free now. Mm.