1 00:00:05,239 --> 00:00:06,474 I don't remember buying 2 00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:08,509 these fresh peaches. 3 00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:09,877 Aah! 4 00:00:09,910 --> 00:00:11,312 Phil: Apologies, Serge. 5 00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:12,846 My wife, Claire, seems to have forgotten 6 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:14,182 that I'm holding office hours 7 00:00:14,215 --> 00:00:16,384 for my Intro to Real Estate class here at home. 8 00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:18,486 So, when I walked to the laundry room 9 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:19,687 10 minutes ago in my bra... 10 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:20,754 That was kind of perfect, actually. 11 00:00:20,788 --> 00:00:22,022 I had just made a point 12 00:00:22,056 --> 00:00:23,657 about how buildings from the early '70s 13 00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:25,593 were holding up surprisingly well. 14 00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:26,727 So maybe I'll... 15 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,028 Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 16 00:00:28,062 --> 00:00:30,098 All right, see you in class, buddy. 17 00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:32,566 [ Sighs ] What a great kid. 18 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,835 That's why I chucked it all for a life in academia, Claire. 19 00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,904 [ Inhales deeply ] It's a special feeling 20 00:00:36,937 --> 00:00:39,207 knowing that there's a young man walking around out there 21 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:41,842 who you helped mold, who you can be proud of. 22 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,411 Hey, Dad. Hey. You know? 23 00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:46,280 You're up early. 24 00:00:46,314 --> 00:00:47,348 What are you talking about? 25 00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,083 I hugged you from behind earlier. 26 00:00:49,117 --> 00:00:51,752 You know, I said, "I don't remember buying this six pack." 27 00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:54,255 Then you did that funny Eastern European accent -- 28 00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:55,289 [ Eastern European accent ] "I don't want trouble. 29 00:00:55,323 --> 00:00:57,057 I just want to learn." [ Chuckles ] 30 00:00:57,091 --> 00:01:00,094 Should we be concerned about group-molesting Serge? 31 00:01:00,128 --> 00:01:01,929 And aren't you at the minimum number of students 32 00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:03,731 before they cancel your class? Not to worry. 33 00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:06,234 Serge worships me, and the rest of the class is super solid. 34 00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:08,202 Plus, it's the last day to drop classes anyway. 35 00:01:08,236 --> 00:01:09,237 [ Normal voice ] Oh, speaking of that, 36 00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:10,604 I'm thinking about dropping history. 37 00:01:10,638 --> 00:01:12,873 How come? It's not really exciting me. 38 00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,742 Plus, we've got this huge paper due today 39 00:01:14,775 --> 00:01:16,377 that I haven't quite finished starting. 40 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,412 It's on the Monroe Doctrine. 41 00:01:18,446 --> 00:01:20,548 The Monroe Doctrine? 42 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:21,715 Oh, no. 43 00:01:21,749 --> 00:01:23,617 Junior year history class, 44 00:01:23,651 --> 00:01:25,586 I wrote the perfect paper. 45 00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:28,456 Strong thesis, impeccable supporting arguments. 46 00:01:28,489 --> 00:01:31,091 I quoted from the letters of a White House footman 47 00:01:31,125 --> 00:01:33,394 who recalled Monroe calling to him from the bath, 48 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,896 "Beauregard, fetch me my breeches. 49 00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,631 We have a doctrine!" 50 00:01:37,665 --> 00:01:39,267 I got a "C." 51 00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:41,902 [ Inhales sharply ] 52 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:44,572 Oh, so you agree with that grade, huh? 53 00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:45,606 Don't patronize me. 54 00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:49,943 -- Captions by VITAC -- 55 00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:58,619 ** 56 00:02:02,156 --> 00:02:03,291 Mmm. The food at the club 57 00:02:03,324 --> 00:02:04,292 has gotten so much lighter and healthier. 58 00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:05,526 We had a run of angina attacks, 59 00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:07,261 so we had to go heart-healthy. 60 00:02:07,295 --> 00:02:09,497 We said goodbye to our social chairman, Herb, 61 00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:11,499 and our butter fountain in the same weekend. 62 00:02:11,532 --> 00:02:12,933 Oh, I'm sorry. 63 00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:13,967 Hey, Mr. Pritchett. 64 00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:14,968 I'll take this when you're ready. 65 00:02:15,002 --> 00:02:16,937 Thank you, Maria. Oh, Maria, 66 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,806 that's a beautiful name. That's why it's often sung. 67 00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:19,840 But you're not going to -- 68 00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:22,643 * Ave Maria 69 00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:24,878 And curtain. Okay, they just started letting gays in here. 70 00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:25,879 Don't make them regret it. 71 00:02:25,913 --> 00:02:27,515 You might also wanna tell Sharona 72 00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:29,317 to steer clear of the table. Yes. 73 00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:31,319 Yeah, well, I should probably save my energy 74 00:02:31,352 --> 00:02:32,953 for my performance tonight anyway. 75 00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,523 Oh, darn. Gloria and I have tickets to, um... 76 00:02:35,556 --> 00:02:37,325 [ Stammers ] Um... 77 00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:39,193 Don't worry, Jay. It's -- It's not for you. 78 00:02:39,227 --> 00:02:40,861 Oh, good. I didn't know where I was going with that. 79 00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:43,464 Tonight is a fundraiser at Lily's school. 80 00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,399 We're, you know, raising money for the kids. 81 00:02:45,433 --> 00:02:47,468 A night of song and sketch. 82 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:49,903 All the dads are performing. Well... 83 00:02:49,937 --> 00:02:50,904 most of the dads. 84 00:02:50,938 --> 00:02:51,905 Proud of you, son. 85 00:02:51,939 --> 00:02:53,307 Ah, it's not a complete victory. 86 00:02:53,341 --> 00:02:55,343 I still have to watch it, so... 87 00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:57,044 Thanks for breakfast, Dad. Hey, 88 00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:58,879 I love spending time with you two! 89 00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:01,815 Every month I've gotta burn off a minimum at the club, 90 00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:04,718 and literally, everybody else I knew was busy. 91 00:03:04,752 --> 00:03:06,654 That's also why I give a lot of birthday presents 92 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:07,988 from the pro-shop. You know, mugs 93 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:10,558 and visors that say "Kiss My Putter," 94 00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:12,092 "Talk Birdie To Me." 95 00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:15,263 Quality items. Everybody wins. 96 00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:16,597 So, if you're not rushed, 97 00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:18,366 you should treat yourself to our spa. 98 00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:20,701 You know, get a couple of, uh... 99 00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:23,070 a couple of standard treatments. 100 00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:25,406 Oh, well, you're so generous. 101 00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:27,508 Might I say you look very handsome 102 00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:29,710 in that shirt we gave you for Christmas. 103 00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:32,513 They also make it in "Queen's coral" -- oh, no. 104 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,248 Did I spoil your birthday? Sounds like you might. 105 00:03:34,282 --> 00:03:35,916 [ Cellphone chimes, vibrates ] 106 00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:37,918 Oh. [ Laughs ] 107 00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:39,720 What's so funny? Oh, it's just that 108 00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:41,289 I've been e-mailing this mom at school. 109 00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:42,723 We both volunteer together. 110 00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:45,225 You -- You e-mail? It's harmless. Listen. 111 00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:48,429 "Hey, Jay, enjoyed laughing around the planetarium with you. 112 00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:50,230 Your jokes were out of this world." 113 00:03:50,264 --> 00:03:52,566 Hm, okay. So, if it's so harmless, 114 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:55,035 I'm sure Gloria knows about this flirty quipstress. 115 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,037 Don't make something out of this. 116 00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:58,306 Oh, my God. Oh! 117 00:03:58,339 --> 00:03:59,740 That's why he's wearing the shirt. 118 00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:02,142 [ Gasps ] Because it makes your blue eyes pop. 119 00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:04,645 I'm not letting you magpies dirty this up. 120 00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:05,713 [ Cellphone chimes, vibrates ] 121 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:06,780 [ Cellphone unlocks ] Oh, uh... 122 00:04:06,814 --> 00:04:07,981 "Park by the swings 123 00:04:08,015 --> 00:04:09,783 so I can help you carry stuff in." 124 00:04:09,817 --> 00:04:11,118 [ Sultry voice ] "Park by the swings 125 00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:13,387 so I can help you carry stuff in." 126 00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:15,389 You're sullying this, and I'm leaving! 127 00:04:15,423 --> 00:04:17,425 Okay, well, say "hi" to your girlfriend. She's not my girlfriend. 128 00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:18,792 The only reason we're paired together 129 00:04:18,826 --> 00:04:19,893 is because our kids are in the same reading group. 130 00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:21,295 Both: Oo-ooh! 131 00:04:21,329 --> 00:04:23,063 Damn it! 132 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:24,298 [ Chuckling ] I love when we "ooh." 133 00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:26,400 We used to do that all the time, and then we stopped. 134 00:04:26,434 --> 00:04:28,068 Why? I don't know. 135 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,603 [ Birds chirping ] 136 00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:32,239 Joe! 137 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,074 Why did I find your eye patch 138 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,109 in the garbage? I don't know. 139 00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:38,312 Were you throwing away another parking ticket? 140 00:04:38,346 --> 00:04:39,947 Okay, you have to put it on. 141 00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:42,149 Why? My lazy eye is fixed. 142 00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:44,418 Okay, I'm over here, 143 00:04:44,452 --> 00:04:46,654 and it's only one more week. 144 00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:48,088 And you look tough, 145 00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,290 like a little warlord. 146 00:04:50,324 --> 00:04:51,959 [ Car horn honks ] Oh, that's Liam's mom. 147 00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:53,427 See you after school. 148 00:04:53,461 --> 00:04:55,696 Okay, papi, but promise me 149 00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:58,098 that you're going to wear the eye patch 150 00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:00,300 the whole day. I will. 151 00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:05,373 I can't believe you don't trust me. 152 00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:06,774 Two days ago, 153 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,442 I caught you trying to copy 154 00:05:08,476 --> 00:05:10,811 a $20 bill in the printer. 155 00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:13,280 Dad says I get to pick what we watch on TV 156 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,182 when I start making my own money. 157 00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:17,451 Go to school. 158 00:05:17,485 --> 00:05:19,052 If you guys are ready, 159 00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:20,688 me and Julio will get started. 160 00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:22,690 Oh, by any chance, did you guys meet down by the schoolyard? 161 00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:25,025 * Me -- No -- No. Okay. 162 00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:26,360 [ Soothing music plays ] 163 00:05:26,394 --> 00:05:27,695 Ohh. 164 00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:29,329 Oh, that's the spot. 165 00:05:29,363 --> 00:05:31,665 [ Moaning ] Ohhh, yeah. 166 00:05:31,699 --> 00:05:34,702 Oo-o-ooh! 167 00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:36,236 Now I'm remembering why we haven't had 168 00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:38,806 a couples massage since our honeymoon. 169 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,508 Aruba. 170 00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,009 That's not where we went. 171 00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:43,844 That's the noise he made. 172 00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:46,414 [ Growling ] Arrruuuubaaaa. 173 00:05:46,447 --> 00:05:47,981 Cam, could you just... 174 00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:50,584 [quietly] just...shh. 175 00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:51,719 [ Quietly ] I'm sorry. Thank you. 176 00:05:53,521 --> 00:05:55,088 [ Moaning ] Ohh, yeah. 177 00:05:55,122 --> 00:05:56,256 Oh, yeah. 178 00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:58,058 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 179 00:05:58,091 --> 00:05:59,159 [ Normal voice ] Okay, you know what? I'm gonna call it. 180 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,661 Mm? Mm-hmm. Nope. 181 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,262 [ Normal voice ] What happened? Was he forward? 182 00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:04,898 No, I just can't relax with you making these noises. 183 00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:06,700 Well, I can't relax without making the noises. 184 00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:08,702 Which is why I'm leaving. Thank you, Julio, 185 00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:10,203 and I'm sorry. I-I didn't catch your name. 186 00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:11,405 It's Aweema-weh. 187 00:06:11,439 --> 00:06:12,873 Good luck to you both. Okay. 188 00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:18,078 Oh, Luke! Honey, hi. 189 00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:19,880 Hey, Mom. Everything all right? 190 00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:21,749 Of course. I just felt like making a stop 191 00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:24,418 by the hallowed halls of community college. 192 00:06:24,452 --> 00:06:26,086 What's with the police tape? 193 00:06:26,119 --> 00:06:27,755 Oh, some frat guys decided 194 00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:29,590 to drive the dean's office to Burning Man. 195 00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:31,892 Okay. Well, anyhoo, 196 00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:33,193 since we're here, 197 00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:34,895 before you drop that history class, 198 00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:37,631 could you possibly turn in an old paper of mine? 199 00:06:37,665 --> 00:06:39,433 I would love to get a second opinion on it. 200 00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:40,801 Sure, 201 00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:42,636 but you know you just did something weird 202 00:06:42,670 --> 00:06:44,404 and I didn't ask a single follow-up question? 203 00:06:44,438 --> 00:06:45,405 Yeah. 204 00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:46,674 You owe me one of those. 205 00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:49,643 How'd you even get an old paper on a thumb drive? 206 00:06:49,677 --> 00:06:51,411 [ Scoffs ] It was easy. 207 00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:53,046 Ish. 208 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:56,049 The old paper was on an old format, 209 00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:57,284 but it was a simple matter 210 00:06:57,317 --> 00:06:59,386 of stringing a couple of old machines together 211 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:00,788 to get what I needed. 212 00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:01,922 All right. 213 00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:03,791 Yes, I have been accused of having 214 00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:05,926 a little problem with perfectionism... 215 00:07:05,959 --> 00:07:07,495 * It's working 216 00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:10,798 ...but I also have a little problem with injustice, 217 00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:14,001 much as a certain U.S. President had a little problem 218 00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:16,103 with European Imperialism. Yes! 219 00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:18,138 Of course when a man does it, it becomes a doctrine. 220 00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:19,473 and when a woman does it, 221 00:07:19,507 --> 00:07:21,274 she's hysterical. 222 00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:24,244 [ Marker squeaking ] I hope you guys like counting 'crows. 223 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,079 Es-crows, that is. 224 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:27,481 [ Laughter ] 225 00:07:27,515 --> 00:07:29,483 Phil: It had become a familiar sound -- 226 00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:33,186 my 18 devoted students laughing as one. 227 00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:35,122 Only something was different this time. 228 00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:37,457 It sounded like 17. 229 00:07:37,491 --> 00:07:41,428 Could it be that I had a wobbler in my midst? 230 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,030 Sure enough, Paige Stevens 231 00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:45,298 was going through the course catalog. 232 00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:47,835 If I lost her, I'd be below my minimum and lose the class. 233 00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:49,770 For the sake of those 17 dreamers, 234 00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:53,306 I had no choice but to unleash the Dunphy charm. 235 00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:55,609 Paige Stevens. Present. 236 00:07:55,643 --> 00:07:57,778 Oh, we already did that part, and you nailed it. 237 00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:00,113 I read your essay last night. 238 00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:02,282 Whom did you study privately with? 239 00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:04,818 I'm sorry? Come, now, Paige. 240 00:08:04,852 --> 00:08:07,054 Your insight, your grasp of the vernacular. 241 00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:08,321 W-Was it Freemont? 242 00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:09,823 Or perhaps one of the Europeans? 243 00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:11,124 [ German accent ] Scharfenbrugen? 244 00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:13,060 No. [ Normal voice ] Oh, of course not. 245 00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:15,729 He lives as a recluse. He hasn't taken students in years. 246 00:08:15,763 --> 00:08:17,464 [ Inhales deeply ] I'm simply saying 247 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,066 that your raw instincts 248 00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:20,834 may be the best thing to happen to real estate 249 00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:24,004 since the allowing of split commissions in 1994. 250 00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:25,205 Didn't you tell us it was -- 251 00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:27,074 Can we for one moment 252 00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:29,577 have a break from the Serge show?! 253 00:08:32,279 --> 00:08:35,182 Just promise me that in a few short years 254 00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:37,985 when you become the next Fred Dunham, 255 00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,086 that you'll come visit us? 256 00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:40,520 [ Exhales sharply ] Do you really think... 257 00:08:40,554 --> 00:08:41,722 I don't think. 258 00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:42,956 I know. 259 00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:46,727 From there, it was a bit of flattery, 260 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,395 a dash of encouragement, 261 00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:51,431 and Paige was turned. 262 00:08:51,464 --> 00:08:52,900 So, if I could paraphrase 263 00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:55,068 what our star pupil just pointed out, 264 00:08:55,102 --> 00:08:56,870 sometimes it's just a matter 265 00:08:56,904 --> 00:08:59,907 of finding the "dupe" in "duplex." 266 00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:01,942 [ Laughter ] And there it was again, 267 00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:03,577 that sweet music -- 268 00:09:03,611 --> 00:09:06,213 18 people laughing. 269 00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:08,115 I'll see you all next week. 270 00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:09,583 Definitely. 271 00:09:09,617 --> 00:09:11,685 Oh, and I am holding office hours at my house, 272 00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:13,386 so feel free to come by any time. 273 00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:15,355 Oh, cool. 274 00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:16,556 Oh, you -- 275 00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:17,591 Uh, Paige. 276 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,963 "Mrs. Paige Dunphy"? 277 00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:23,964 Phil: Curses. 278 00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:26,767 I'd over-wooed my wobbler. 279 00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:30,270 Oh, hey. 280 00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:31,805 Are we still on for dinner tonight? 281 00:09:31,839 --> 00:09:33,140 Yeah, I can probably get us in 282 00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:34,808 to the late seating at my grandpa's country club. 283 00:09:34,842 --> 00:09:36,409 Can you hold off 'til 6:30? 284 00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:37,911 Actually, I thought 285 00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:39,813 maybe I could come over and cook for you. 286 00:09:39,847 --> 00:09:40,648 Awesome. 287 00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:44,718 Hey, there's my favorite class dad! 288 00:09:44,752 --> 00:09:45,719 Oh, hey. Hey. 289 00:09:45,753 --> 00:09:47,087 Tie my apron, will you? 290 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,488 My pleasure. 291 00:09:48,521 --> 00:09:50,490 Uh, not my -- not my pleasure, of course. 292 00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:52,092 That sounds weird, 293 00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:53,460 and I'm not a weird man. 294 00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:55,395 Mitch and Cam got in my head. 295 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:58,999 I'd had a perfectly innocent relationship with the fun mom, 296 00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:00,801 but then they got me feeling all guilty. 297 00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:03,136 Suddenly I couldn't mention one thing in that school 298 00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:04,905 without it sounding like a double entendre. 299 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,273 Nap time? 300 00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:08,909 Fun zone? 301 00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,610 [ Warily ] Juice box... 302 00:10:10,644 --> 00:10:12,379 I got some nice tomatoes. 303 00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:17,584 Oh, yep. 304 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:18,952 Did you spill something? Huh? No. 305 00:10:18,986 --> 00:10:20,688 I'm just working hard on this pizza. 306 00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:23,423 Guess I ought to take this off. 307 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,458 [ Chuckles ] Boy, feels naked without it. 308 00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:26,626 You ever feel that way? Naked? 309 00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:33,266 I really wanted to trust that Joe was wearing his eye patch, 310 00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,335 but after finding it in the garbage, 311 00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:37,004 I had to make sure. 312 00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:40,207 I didn't want him to mess up his vision. 313 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:43,143 I think it's a big problem in this country. 314 00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:46,546 Everywhere I look, there are men with googily eyes. 315 00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:47,981 Let's take a selfie 316 00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:49,783 for the school newsletter, so... 317 00:10:49,817 --> 00:10:52,219 Flash those baby blues. 318 00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:53,486 [ Camera shutter clicks ] 319 00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:00,227 Did you preheat my oven? 320 00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:01,361 Not on purpose. 321 00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:07,234 Well, that was quite a little snitfit back there. 322 00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:08,969 Were you trying to embarrass me, or...? 323 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,337 Mm, is that even possible? 324 00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:11,571 The singing in the restaurants, 325 00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:13,673 your Herbal Essence audition during the massage? 326 00:11:13,707 --> 00:11:15,809 You know, you're the one who should be embarrassed. 327 00:11:15,843 --> 00:11:17,510 I am. Isn't that what we're fighting about? 328 00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:20,013 Look at you. You can't even put on 329 00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:21,681 your boxer-briefs in a men's locker room 330 00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:23,083 without your little terrycloth shame skirt. 331 00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:25,052 [ Quietly ] It's called modesty, Cam. 332 00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:26,319 Can you please just keep your voice down? 333 00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:27,687 [ Quietly ] Yeah, yeah. You know what? Well, it's all 334 00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:29,156 part of the same thing. 335 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:31,358 You know, I'm not embarrassing. 336 00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:32,860 You're the one that's just embarrassed by everything. 337 00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:34,161 That is crazy -- 338 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:34,962 Ow. 339 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,198 This seems worth it. I'm fine. 340 00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:40,167 No, you're not, and it's affecting all of us. 341 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,369 You're constantly shushing Lily and me, 342 00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:44,437 scolding us just for living out loud. [ Sighs ] 343 00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:46,106 Can we please have this conversation later? 344 00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:47,908 No, we can't, because I'll be busy 345 00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:49,176 performing in Fathers' Follies -- 346 00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,111 something else you're too self-conscious to do. 347 00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:53,213 You're missing out on life, Mitchell. 348 00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:54,982 You need to take off your shackles. 349 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:57,951 Let people see 350 00:11:57,985 --> 00:11:59,119 who you are. 351 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:10,230 I've had enough -- the wandering eye, the lies. 352 00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:13,233 Why was I so nervous? I had done nothing wrong. 353 00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:16,469 Sure, I engaged in some friendly e-mail banter. 354 00:12:16,503 --> 00:12:19,572 I guess I realized blue shirts make my eyes sparkle. 355 00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:21,274 Might have done a few push-ups in the parking lot 356 00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:24,044 before the pizza party, but that's for everybody. 357 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,745 He's trying to make a fool of me. 358 00:12:26,947 --> 00:12:27,948 Sonia, I have to go. 359 00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:30,217 [ Cellphone beeps ] 360 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,985 Where have you been all day? 361 00:12:32,019 --> 00:12:33,987 I see what you're implying. Fine. 362 00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:36,256 Her name is Laura, she means nothing to me, 363 00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:38,425 and the only reason my wedding ring is off 364 00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:41,161 is 'cause I was afraid I would lose it in her dough. 365 00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:42,462 I'm sorry. 366 00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:44,064 What the hell are you talking about? 367 00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,966 Couple of e-mails. Harmless stuff. 368 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:51,438 "Park by the swings so I can help you carry stuff in." 369 00:12:51,471 --> 00:12:52,505 These are what you're worrying about? 370 00:12:52,539 --> 00:12:53,773 There's nothing there. 371 00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:55,108 Yeah, Mitch and Cam were implying 372 00:12:55,142 --> 00:12:56,443 there was something weird going on. 373 00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:57,577 That's crazy. 374 00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:58,846 She's, like, 35 and gorgeous. 375 00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:00,180 [ Laughing ] Exactly. 376 00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:03,350 Although, I don't think you read that e-mail 377 00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:04,651 the on way it could have been read. 378 00:13:04,684 --> 00:13:06,086 I mean, it could've gone, 379 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:06,987 [sultry voice] "Park by the swings 380 00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:08,588 so I can help you 381 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:11,024 carry stuff in." 382 00:13:11,058 --> 00:13:13,293 Sounds like she knows about your bad back. 383 00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:16,629 Jay, there's no harm in a little flirting, 384 00:13:16,663 --> 00:13:18,531 especially you. [ Normal voice ] What is that supposed to mean? 385 00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:21,768 You're a good man. You have, like, a built-in alarm system. 386 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,670 It keeps you in the right path. 387 00:13:23,703 --> 00:13:25,205 Then why did you shoot me that look at school? 388 00:13:25,238 --> 00:13:27,040 It was meant for Joe. 389 00:13:27,074 --> 00:13:30,510 I worry that he doesn't have your strong conscience. 390 00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:32,812 I worry that he has my family genes 391 00:13:32,846 --> 00:13:35,382 where we can lie and lie and lie and lie 392 00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:37,784 without feeling one ounce of guilt. 393 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,319 Y-You don't lie to me, though, do you? 394 00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:40,820 Never. 395 00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:44,557 [ Car door opens ] 396 00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:46,894 Here he is now. I'll bet he comes in here 397 00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:48,896 and apologizes for lying. 398 00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:50,964 [ Car door closes ] Yeah, if he's like one from your family. 399 00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:53,366 But if he walks in here all easy-breezy 400 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,802 pretending that he didn't do anything wrong, 401 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,171 he's 100% Ramirez, 402 00:13:58,205 --> 00:13:59,873 or whatever our real name is. 403 00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:01,975 [ Door opens ] 404 00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:03,676 Hey, buddy. 405 00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:05,913 I'm sorry, okay?! 406 00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:07,981 I lied about wearing my eye patch, 407 00:14:08,015 --> 00:14:09,816 and that's only the beginning! 408 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,651 I lied about how my bike broke. 409 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:13,420 I never walk Stella. 410 00:14:13,453 --> 00:14:15,388 I tie her to the treadmill. 411 00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:17,024 The last three teeth I put under my pillow 412 00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:18,191 were Tic-Tacs. 413 00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:19,859 I'm a terrible boy. 414 00:14:19,893 --> 00:14:21,194 Oh, good. 415 00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:22,695 He's weak like you. 416 00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:27,100 [ Applause ] Mr. Peterson: Thank you, Tiffany's dad! 417 00:14:27,134 --> 00:14:29,402 And now, please put your hands together 418 00:14:29,436 --> 00:14:32,405 for Lily, Harper, Zack, and Danielle's dads -- 419 00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:34,274 The Bees Knees! 420 00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:36,209 [ Kazoos playing "Flight of the Bumblebee" ] 421 00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:41,014 Go, Dad! Woot, woot! 422 00:14:41,048 --> 00:14:43,350 I was the only dad in the audience. 423 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:46,053 It was just me and a bunch of women and children. 424 00:14:46,086 --> 00:14:48,388 I felt like a coward on a life boat. 425 00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:50,457 I mean, Cam was right -- I-I was missing out. 426 00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:53,026 Hey, Bob. A quick favor to ask. 427 00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:54,461 If you don't think Harper would mind, 428 00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:56,463 do you think maybe I could wear the bee costume? 429 00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:58,565 Take it. I'm in the show later anyways, 430 00:14:58,598 --> 00:15:00,633 playing bass with the Grateful Dads. Oh. 431 00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:01,935 Then good, yeah. 432 00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:09,309 [ Laughter ] 433 00:15:09,342 --> 00:15:11,278 Oh, my God. I'm so proud of you! 434 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:19,252 [ Song ends, applause ] 435 00:15:19,286 --> 00:15:21,154 Thank you. Thank you! 436 00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:23,323 And now we'd like to take a moment 437 00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:25,492 to remember our beloved lunch lady, 438 00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:26,926 Mrs. Penny Miller. 439 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:30,297 [ Cello playing "Amazing Grace" ] 440 00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:31,764 Oh, my gosh. 441 00:15:31,798 --> 00:15:33,133 I can't believe you did that! 442 00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:36,003 That was amazing! Oh, stop it. 443 00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:37,270 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 444 00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:39,672 Whoa! No! 445 00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:40,940 [ Gasping ] 446 00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:44,111 Oh, God. 447 00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:46,013 Did we learn nothing from the gloves?! 448 00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:50,417 Sorry. No. 449 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,284 Sorry, sorry, sorry. I got it. I got it. 450 00:15:51,318 --> 00:15:53,120 I got it. I got it. I got it. 451 00:15:53,153 --> 00:15:54,521 [ Insects chirping ] 452 00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:56,123 For starters, 453 00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:57,790 my grandmother's ravioli. 454 00:15:57,824 --> 00:15:59,126 It looks amazing. 455 00:15:59,159 --> 00:16:01,028 I've been saving some occasion wine in my room. 456 00:16:01,061 --> 00:16:02,996 The grape character on the box is saying "Mamma Mia!" 457 00:16:03,030 --> 00:16:04,464 so it should go well with Italian. 458 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:12,805 Hello, Professor. 459 00:16:13,906 --> 00:16:15,608 I, uh... 460 00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:18,378 I see you took me up on that open-door policy I mentioned. 461 00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:21,348 Oh, I'm not here for office hours. 462 00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:23,883 This is a date. Of course. 463 00:16:23,916 --> 00:16:25,852 I've heard things like this happened to Paul McCartney 464 00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:27,120 at the height of his Beatles fame. 465 00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:29,389 It was a classic fatal-attraction situation. 466 00:16:29,422 --> 00:16:30,557 I had to do two things. 467 00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:32,325 One -- get through the next 10 minutes 468 00:16:32,359 --> 00:16:34,227 'til the deadline to drop my class had passed 469 00:16:34,261 --> 00:16:36,296 by distracting her with light banter 470 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,831 and enjoying her Tuscan cooking, and, two -- 471 00:16:38,865 --> 00:16:42,001 check to see if she had beaten and restrained Claire. 472 00:16:42,035 --> 00:16:43,903 I'm not coming on too strongly, 473 00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:45,538 am I, with this dress? 474 00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:47,207 Oh. No. 475 00:16:48,175 --> 00:16:49,342 Lovely. 476 00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:51,911 I'm really nervous about my cooking. 477 00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:53,413 If a guy doesn't eat every bite 478 00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:54,981 of my grandma's ravioli, 479 00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,483 I go nuts. 480 00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:59,386 Well, we certainly... 481 00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:01,688 don't want that to happen, 482 00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:02,822 do we? [ Chuckles ] 483 00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,391 Now, uh... 484 00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:06,159 where are you from? 485 00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:07,227 [ Muffled ] Originally. 486 00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:08,661 I would say Italy, 487 00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:10,163 but there's no accent, 488 00:17:10,197 --> 00:17:11,598 so, obviously, that's not the case. 489 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,067 Oh, Luke, Luke. 490 00:17:14,101 --> 00:17:16,169 Luke, any word on my Monroe Doctrine paper? 491 00:17:16,203 --> 00:17:17,604 Oh, actually, I decided 492 00:17:17,637 --> 00:17:19,239 not to drop that class, 493 00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:20,840 so it didn't feel right turning it in. Huh. 494 00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:22,041 But something funny did happen. 495 00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:23,243 I had your paper open on my computer. 496 00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:25,044 Paige saw it and thought it was mine. 497 00:17:25,078 --> 00:17:26,446 She made some really good changes. 498 00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:28,248 Changes? Yeah, well, 499 00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:29,682 she cut to the chase in a few places, 500 00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:31,017 cleaned up the ending. 501 00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,219 She's a history major, you know. 502 00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:34,387 Get it. Mom, I'm... 503 00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:35,922 kind of in the middle of a dinner date. 504 00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:37,424 Are you? By now you might be 505 00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:38,725 in the middle of a movie or a board game. 506 00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:40,393 We all know how obsessed she is with changing things. 507 00:17:40,427 --> 00:17:41,461 Go get the paper, Luke. 508 00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:45,898 Oh, good, you're okay. 509 00:17:45,932 --> 00:17:47,367 I'm not that okay. 510 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,402 I'm not a fan of this Paige. 511 00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:51,271 She's got some nerve. So you're aware. 512 00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:53,039 Oh, I'm aware. I'm aware that she has no problem 513 00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,407 putting her grubby, little paws all over 514 00:17:54,441 --> 00:17:55,708 something that doesn't belong to her. 515 00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:57,877 I can see you're upset. I am. 516 00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,879 I'm upset because I basically took 517 00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:01,881 the most boring thing in history 518 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,883 and made it interesting. 519 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,952 She thinks she can just come in here and just make it hers. 520 00:18:05,985 --> 00:18:07,420 No. Feels a little hurtful, 521 00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:09,722 but she is my student, and I have a lot at stake here, 522 00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:11,958 so can I please just handle this myself? [ Sighs ] 523 00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:16,929 You didn't miss much with the ravioli. 524 00:18:16,963 --> 00:18:18,998 The showstopper is my branzino. 525 00:18:19,031 --> 00:18:20,433 It smells great. 526 00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:21,468 We don't get to have fish around here. 527 00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:22,569 My dad hates it. 528 00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,137 Well, this one's a family recipe, 529 00:18:24,171 --> 00:18:25,438 so if you don't like it, 530 00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:27,774 I'll pretty much have to drop you. 531 00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:29,776 Well... 532 00:18:29,809 --> 00:18:30,843 let's not have 533 00:18:30,877 --> 00:18:32,612 any of that 534 00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:34,414 crazy...talk. 535 00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,416 Two minutes to deadline. 536 00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,318 I couldn't let her drop my class! 537 00:18:40,387 --> 00:18:42,121 Now [clears throat] 538 00:18:42,155 --> 00:18:43,323 ...back... [breathing shakily] 539 00:18:45,392 --> 00:18:46,759 ...[muffled] to where you're from. 540 00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:48,094 Encino. 541 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,529 Oh. [ Gags ] 542 00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:51,498 [ Quietly ] Damn it. 543 00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:52,999 Mom, don't be mad at her. She was just -- 544 00:18:53,032 --> 00:18:54,634 No, she made it better. 545 00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:56,503 What was I thinking with this sentence? 546 00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:59,138 "The esteemed barrister's argument was as layered 547 00:18:59,172 --> 00:19:01,641 as the cuffs on his after-dinner breeches"? 548 00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:04,043 That is the third time I mentioned breeches. 549 00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:05,278 What was I going through? 550 00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:07,514 Can I go now? [ Sighing ] Yeah. 551 00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:09,182 Oh, wait, honey. 552 00:19:09,216 --> 00:19:11,451 I like this girl for you. 553 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,520 She deserves better than boxed wine. 554 00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:14,921 Haley keeps a nice bottle under her bed. 555 00:19:17,724 --> 00:19:20,827 You really seemed to like that. 556 00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:23,162 Oh, yeah. I could make another one, 557 00:19:23,196 --> 00:19:24,664 but it would take a while. 558 00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:26,065 Let's see. It's 7:00 now -- 559 00:19:26,098 --> 00:19:28,335 Oh, thank God. 560 00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:30,737 Paige, we have to talk. 561 00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:33,340 I-I may have sent some signals I didn't mean to send. 562 00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:35,041 Nonetheless, some of your behavior 563 00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:37,344 has been a little inappropriate, frankly, 564 00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:39,178 kind of disrespectful to my wife. 565 00:19:39,212 --> 00:19:40,547 Oh, wait, hang on. Hang on. 566 00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:41,981 I changed my mind about that. 567 00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:43,883 I am not mad at you. 568 00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:45,485 All you did was take an interest in something 569 00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:48,187 that I should have dropped 25 years ago. 570 00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:50,423 Um, Claire. And can I say something else? 571 00:19:50,457 --> 00:19:52,425 I'm all in favor of this relationship. 572 00:19:52,459 --> 00:19:54,193 Claire? I don't want to jinx it, 573 00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:56,162 but I think you could be 574 00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:57,830 exactly what he needs. 575 00:19:57,864 --> 00:20:00,433 I know, he may look like a man, 576 00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:01,668 but, honestly, in a lot of ways, 577 00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:02,769 he's still just a little boy. 578 00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:05,505 Complete mess in the bedroom. 579 00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,674 Although, here's a tip for you. 580 00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:10,777 He actually does respond well if you stay on top of him. 581 00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:13,280 So, you're okay with -- Absolutely. 582 00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:15,382 As a certain U.S. president once said, 583 00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:17,950 "Let the era of good feelings commence." 584 00:20:17,984 --> 00:20:20,253 Oh, my God! This is the best day ever! 585 00:20:20,287 --> 00:20:21,521 Phil: Oh! 586 00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:22,889 Huh. 587 00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:24,557 Huh. 588 00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:27,193 So, it turns out Paige was only making dinner for me 589 00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,895 so she could get close to my dad. 590 00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:30,397 I am sorry, buddy, but I did warn everyone 591 00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:31,564 about the Dunphy charm. 592 00:20:31,598 --> 00:20:33,232 It's also a little interesting 593 00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:35,368 that Paige's Realtor dad abandoned the family 594 00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:37,270 when she was 12. Seems irrelevant. 595 00:20:37,304 --> 00:20:38,605 He also dabbled in magic. 596 00:20:38,638 --> 00:20:41,040 Now we're just having two separate conversations. 597 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:43,109 Did you know her last three boyfriends were 50? 598 00:20:43,142 --> 00:20:44,744 Maybe spend a little less time with your nose 599 00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:46,746 in that psych book and a little more time being sexy. 600 00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:51,250 Ah, ah, ah. You'll get this back 601 00:20:51,284 --> 00:20:51,984 when your homework is done. 602 00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:54,153 Joe, what is this? 603 00:20:54,186 --> 00:20:55,722 Just some notes from my friend Hannah. 604 00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:57,824 Friend? This doesn't sound to me like that. 605 00:20:57,857 --> 00:20:58,925 This is very flirty. 606 00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:00,760 Let me see that. 607 00:21:00,793 --> 00:21:03,463 "Dear, Joe, want to share half my Fruit Roll-Up?" 608 00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:04,997 Well, this is just kids being kids. 609 00:21:05,031 --> 00:21:06,499 Ay, don't be a fool. 610 00:21:06,533 --> 00:21:07,900 [ Sultry voice ] "Dear Joe, wanna share 611 00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:09,936 half my Fruit Roll-Up?" 612 00:21:09,969 --> 00:21:11,404 That's a different spin on it. 613 00:21:11,438 --> 00:21:12,339 Where's that voice been? 614 00:21:12,372 --> 00:21:13,640 Try this one. 615 00:21:13,673 --> 00:21:16,008 "It was so fun running at recess." 616 00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:20,313 "Randy's rash is really gross." 617 00:21:20,347 --> 00:21:21,648 Maybe we should go upstairs. 618 00:21:21,681 --> 00:21:22,982 Watch your movie, Joe.