1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,651
What the hell?
2
00:00:00,738 --> 00:00:03,135
Oh, my God. He brought Mom's old car?
3
00:00:03,154 --> 00:00:04,959
You know,
that thing was perfect for Dede...
4
00:00:05,062 --> 00:00:06,559
loud, pulled way to the left,
5
00:00:06,664 --> 00:00:09,148
and constantly broke down in public.
6
00:00:09,219 --> 00:00:11,907
My ex-wife, Dede, died two months ago,
7
00:00:11,979 --> 00:00:14,394
and her husband, Jerry,
drove down with a bunch of junk
8
00:00:14,466 --> 00:00:15,860
she wanted us to have.
9
00:00:15,963 --> 00:00:17,222
I always liked Jerry.
10
00:00:17,293 --> 00:00:19,540
Then why did you always
look at him funny?
11
00:00:19,608 --> 00:00:21,208
Because I knew what he was in for.
12
00:00:21,279 --> 00:00:22,538
Same way I look at the footage
13
00:00:22,607 --> 00:00:24,888
of those people boarding the Titanic.
14
00:00:24,957 --> 00:00:27,307
Jay, this is for you.
15
00:00:27,411 --> 00:00:28,498
Oh, God. Is that her?
16
00:00:28,602 --> 00:00:30,406
No, no, no.
Apparently this is a jar of sand
17
00:00:30,477 --> 00:00:31,905
from your honeymoon in Miami Beach.
18
00:00:32,010 --> 00:00:34,016
Oh, yeah.
We stayed at the Fontainebleau.
19
00:00:34,087 --> 00:00:36,334
- Hmm.
- Guess who we took an elevator with?
20
00:00:36,403 --> 00:00:37,663
Jackie Gleason.
21
00:00:37,732 --> 00:00:39,059
I told him we were the honeymooners,
22
00:00:39,129 --> 00:00:41,275
and, as a joke,
he threatened to punch Dede to the moon.
23
00:00:42,230 --> 00:00:43,182
Why is that funny?
24
00:00:43,251 --> 00:00:44,612
Well, that's my point. It wasn't right.
25
00:00:44,717 --> 00:00:47,849
Claire, your mom wanted you
to have her old sports car.
26
00:00:47,952 --> 00:00:49,041
Oh, great.
27
00:00:49,112 --> 00:00:52,515
And Mitchell,
you get to keep her jewelry.
28
00:00:52,621 --> 00:00:53,572
Oh, so Claire gets a car,
29
00:00:53,642 --> 00:00:55,957
and I get a, uh, box of turquoise.
30
00:00:56,026 --> 00:00:57,013
Want to trade?
31
00:00:57,083 --> 00:00:58,136
No. No, it's fine.
32
00:00:58,241 --> 00:01:00,486
I have a preteen girl at home,
and she likes to play dress-up.
33
00:01:00,558 --> 00:01:02,123
And, you know, Lily might like it, too.
34
00:01:02,192 --> 00:01:04,984
Mitchell and Claire,
Dede wanted you two to decide
35
00:01:05,088 --> 00:01:06,381
who gets to keep her.
36
00:01:06,451 --> 00:01:08,220
Sorry, Jay.
She left you out of this one.
37
00:01:08,290 --> 00:01:10,332
No worries, Jerr.
I'm good with the sand.
38
00:01:10,436 --> 00:01:12,955
Hang on. Uh, what do you mean,
"gets to keep her"?
39
00:01:13,963 --> 00:01:15,237
That's Dede.
40
00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:17,758
We had her ashes organically
fused with the root ball.
41
00:01:17,862 --> 00:01:19,293
That is so Mom.
42
00:01:19,362 --> 00:01:22,425
I know. Setting up one last
thing for us to fight over,
43
00:01:22,497 --> 00:01:24,641
- because neither of us want that tree.
- Because both of us want the tree.
44
00:01:24,745 --> 00:01:25,628
What?
45
00:01:25,732 --> 00:01:27,127
That was easy.
46
00:01:40,925 --> 00:01:42,287
Oh, cool.
47
00:01:42,392 --> 00:01:44,808
Look. Nana left us her old
toy box from her house.
48
00:01:44,911 --> 00:01:47,193
Aww, bless her hoarding heart.
49
00:01:47,297 --> 00:01:51,688
Remember how I used to hide in here
and pop out like a scary monster?
50
00:01:51,794 --> 00:01:53,869
I had so much promise back then.
51
00:01:55,984 --> 00:01:58,060
A stick horse that vibrates?
52
00:01:58,164 --> 00:01:59,014
I never got the point.
53
00:01:59,118 --> 00:02:00,239
I don't know,
54
00:02:00,345 --> 00:02:02,864
but I remember spending
hours riding on it.
55
00:02:02,967 --> 00:02:03,919
Same.
56
00:02:04,024 --> 00:02:05,043
Hm.
57
00:02:05,147 --> 00:02:07,802
Oh. Lookie here, Alex.
58
00:02:07,908 --> 00:02:10,357
The source of your greatest shame...
59
00:02:10,461 --> 00:02:13,287
the puzzle that I solved
but you never did.
60
00:02:13,944 --> 00:02:14,889
Who cares?
61
00:02:14,993 --> 00:02:16,251
We were just dumb kids.
62
00:02:16,355 --> 00:02:17,375
Uh, no.
63
00:02:17,479 --> 00:02:19,283
We were dumb kids,
64
00:02:19,387 --> 00:02:21,157
and you were the genius.
65
00:02:21,262 --> 00:02:22,621
That must eat away at you.
66
00:02:23,055 --> 00:02:23,848
Please.
67
00:02:23,952 --> 00:02:26,334
I'm top of my class at a
prestigious university,
68
00:02:26,438 --> 00:02:28,515
and I co-invented a technology
69
00:02:28,619 --> 00:02:31,139
that has applications to
astrophysics and medicine.
70
00:02:31,243 --> 00:02:32,161
And give me that damn puzzle!
71
00:02:33,788 --> 00:02:36,179
Oh, my God, it's Lulu!
72
00:02:36,284 --> 00:02:37,869
She was my favorite toy.
73
00:02:38,772 --> 00:02:40,608
Mm.
74
00:02:44,845 --> 00:02:47,627
I guess I... I just really miss Nana.
75
00:02:47,731 --> 00:02:49,127
Also I'm pregnant.
76
00:02:49,231 --> 00:02:50,659
Dylan and I haven't told anyone
77
00:02:50,762 --> 00:02:52,531
because I'm still trying
to get my head around it,
78
00:02:52,636 --> 00:02:57,575
but holding Lulu made it so real.
79
00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:00,844
I'm gonna have an actual baby.
80
00:03:00,949 --> 00:03:02,173
Aah, I'm so stressed!
81
00:03:02,525 --> 00:03:03,434
I wish it was the '50s
82
00:03:03,538 --> 00:03:04,933
when it was still healthy
to drink and smoke
83
00:03:05,037 --> 00:03:06,466
when you're pregnant.
84
00:03:07,797 --> 00:03:09,803
Wow.
85
00:03:09,907 --> 00:03:11,882
I cannot wait to restore this baby.
86
00:03:11,986 --> 00:03:13,552
My high school bully had one.
87
00:03:13,657 --> 00:03:16,174
You'd be surprised how
fast this thing can go.
88
00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:19,036
No problem catching up
with a kid on a bike
89
00:03:19,140 --> 00:03:20,841
who left school 10 minutes early.
90
00:03:20,945 --> 00:03:23,021
I don't know if I want
another half-finished project
91
00:03:23,126 --> 00:03:24,486
rusting away in the garage.
92
00:03:24,590 --> 00:03:26,565
The only reason I stopped
working on robot lawnmower
93
00:03:26,669 --> 00:03:28,472
was 'cause he started getting too smart.
94
00:03:28,576 --> 00:03:30,994
Come on, honey. Let's keep it.
95
00:03:31,098 --> 00:03:33,957
It reminds me of how
crazy my mom could be.
96
00:03:34,062 --> 00:03:36,512
I mean, what mother has a car like this?
97
00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:39,204
How's this? We take it for one drive.
98
00:03:39,308 --> 00:03:41,010
If you're not smiling by
the time we come back,
99
00:03:41,114 --> 00:03:42,065
we get rid of it.
100
00:03:43,372 --> 00:03:44,245
- One drive?
- One drive.
101
00:03:44,350 --> 00:03:45,573
- One drive.
- One drive.
102
00:03:45,678 --> 00:03:47,890
Ugh, she used to double-buckle
me and Mitchell
103
00:03:47,994 --> 00:03:49,185
into the front seat.
104
00:03:49,289 --> 00:03:51,262
Between that and the
homemade electric blankets,
105
00:03:51,367 --> 00:03:53,171
it's a wonder we're still alive.
106
00:03:55,661 --> 00:03:56,713
What's with the plumber?
107
00:03:56,817 --> 00:03:58,784
Did Joe flush his Aquaman
down the toilet again?
108
00:03:58,794 --> 00:04:00,768
No. When my cousins left,
109
00:04:00,872 --> 00:04:03,119
they said that the hot
water in the guest bedroom
110
00:04:03,222 --> 00:04:04,446
was not working.
111
00:04:04,551 --> 00:04:06,321
The plumber just said that
there's nothing wrong.
112
00:04:06,425 --> 00:04:08,808
Someone turned it off.
113
00:04:08,911 --> 00:04:10,170
Probably Joe.
114
00:04:10,274 --> 00:04:12,215
So, what are we thinking?
No play dates for a week?
115
00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:13,815
I know it was you.
116
00:04:13,919 --> 00:04:16,371
You wanted them gone,
and you froze them out.
117
00:04:16,475 --> 00:04:18,347
I'm admitting nothing,
118
00:04:18,451 --> 00:04:21,276
but you said one cousin
would be here for one day,
119
00:04:21,381 --> 00:04:22,672
and there were three here for a week.
120
00:04:22,778 --> 00:04:24,138
I never said that.
121
00:04:25,570 --> 00:04:27,102
Why is Jerry still here?
122
00:04:27,205 --> 00:04:29,418
I know. Something must be wrong.
123
00:04:29,522 --> 00:04:33,029
He's sitting in the car
like a sad little man.
124
00:04:33,133 --> 00:04:34,698
We have to go and invite him in.
125
00:04:34,803 --> 00:04:36,673
No, no, no, no.
He'll move off eventually.
126
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:39,297
Glor... Street sweeping is Thursday.
127
00:04:40,865 --> 00:04:43,010
Jerry, is everything okay?
128
00:04:43,114 --> 00:04:44,577
Yeah, does your truck need a push?
129
00:04:44,682 --> 00:04:46,383
It's the darnedest thing.
130
00:04:46,488 --> 00:04:48,393
I can't seem to drive away.
131
00:04:48,496 --> 00:04:51,185
Dropping off Dede's stuff was
the last check on the ol' list.
132
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:52,855
Heck if I'm not feeling pretty lost.
133
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:55,547
Yeah, I get it.
Listen, you just drive down this street,
134
00:04:55,650 --> 00:04:57,216
turn right, and you'll hit the freeway.
135
00:04:57,320 --> 00:04:58,885
Jerry, just come inside.
136
00:04:58,990 --> 00:05:00,009
No, I couldn't.
137
00:05:00,114 --> 00:05:01,612
Yeah, got to love a man with pride.
138
00:05:01,715 --> 00:05:03,961
That's the thing that'll
serve you well on the freeway.
139
00:05:04,066 --> 00:05:06,210
Just come inside,
I'll make you something to eat,
140
00:05:06,314 --> 00:05:07,743
and you can stay as long as you want.
141
00:05:07,848 --> 00:05:08,731
Right, Jay?
142
00:05:08,834 --> 00:05:10,400
One of these days, Gloria.
143
00:05:10,470 --> 00:05:11,762
One of these days what?
144
00:05:11,834 --> 00:05:14,045
Nothing. Just one of these days.
145
00:05:15,206 --> 00:05:17,179
All right. Where should we put Mom?
146
00:05:17,283 --> 00:05:18,747
Uh, not too close to the window.
147
00:05:18,816 --> 00:05:20,381
Don't want to spend the
next 20 years whispering.
148
00:05:20,451 --> 00:05:24,230
Okay, so, your mom can be a tree,
but when I told you my Uncle Honus
149
00:05:24,301 --> 00:05:26,071
fell into a thresher
and the next spring,
150
00:05:26,174 --> 00:05:29,477
an owl appeared with his exact face
and pocket watch, you poo-pooed it.
151
00:05:29,582 --> 00:05:31,043
Why are you being so difficult?
152
00:05:31,114 --> 00:05:33,021
Because when we first got together,
153
00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:35,098
you promised that someday
we would move back
154
00:05:35,169 --> 00:05:37,176
to my family farm, and every year,
155
00:05:37,280 --> 00:05:39,220
the someday gets kicked
further down the road
156
00:05:39,324 --> 00:05:40,311
like a nosy census taker.
157
00:05:40,414 --> 00:05:43,070
And... And once you plant your mom here,
158
00:05:43,140 --> 00:05:44,093
we're never gonna leave.
159
00:05:44,196 --> 00:05:45,148
That's crazy.
160
00:05:45,219 --> 00:05:48,417
And I-I-I don't think you want to
talk about promises we made back then.
161
00:05:48,488 --> 00:05:49,509
What are you suggesting?
162
00:05:49,578 --> 00:05:51,927
- I've kept every promise I've made.
- Really?
163
00:05:52,032 --> 00:05:55,061
You promised me a rose a
month for the rest of my life,
164
00:05:55,166 --> 00:05:57,412
so I guess I dropped dead 15 years ago.
165
00:05:57,483 --> 00:05:59,115
I read an article that said
it was environmentally ins...
166
00:05:59,186 --> 00:06:00,750
I've never seen you read an article.
167
00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:03,918
Also, you said
you'd finally watch "E.T.,"
168
00:06:04,022 --> 00:06:05,282
my all-time favorite movie.
169
00:06:05,386 --> 00:06:06,746
Oh, it just seems so stupid.
170
00:06:06,851 --> 00:06:08,211
What am I caring about?
171
00:06:08,316 --> 00:06:11,369
A wrinkly puppet with a Christmas
light at the end of his creepy finger?
172
00:06:11,381 --> 00:06:15,262
And really? Me saying I would watch
some pandering sap-fest is the same
173
00:06:15,367 --> 00:06:18,669
as you saying I would someday
be reunited with my family?
174
00:06:18,774 --> 00:06:20,168
A promise is a promise.
175
00:06:20,273 --> 00:06:22,961
I couldn't agree more.
176
00:06:23,066 --> 00:06:24,188
I couldn't agree more.
177
00:06:27,116 --> 00:06:31,406
So, anyway,
you haven't missed much around here.
178
00:06:34,933 --> 00:06:36,634
I'm sorry to be such a burden.
179
00:06:36,705 --> 00:06:38,882
It's just I don't know how to move on.
180
00:06:38,953 --> 00:06:41,131
I've been going through
incense like crazy.
181
00:06:41,236 --> 00:06:42,596
Oh, poor man.
182
00:06:42,701 --> 00:06:43,992
Here. Eat something.
183
00:06:44,063 --> 00:06:46,873
I know you're a vegetarian,
so I made you tomato soup.
184
00:06:46,909 --> 00:06:47,433
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
185
00:06:47,503 --> 00:06:49,342
That looks pretty good.
You have any left over for me?
186
00:06:49,445 --> 00:06:50,874
Aw, I threw it out.
187
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:54,110
I know that you don't like
things staying around too long.
188
00:06:54,215 --> 00:06:55,372
Mmm.
189
00:06:55,475 --> 00:06:57,144
She's mad at me.
190
00:06:57,213 --> 00:06:59,255
Her family overstayed their welcome,
191
00:06:59,325 --> 00:07:00,890
and I turned off the hot water,
192
00:07:00,995 --> 00:07:02,047
took a few bulbs out of the room.
193
00:07:02,153 --> 00:07:03,378
You know how it is when you're married.
194
00:07:03,481 --> 00:07:05,250
Dede and I never had a cross word.
195
00:07:05,354 --> 00:07:06,409
What?
196
00:07:06,514 --> 00:07:07,839
That is not possible.
197
00:07:07,911 --> 00:07:09,850
Yep. If things ever got heated,
198
00:07:09,919 --> 00:07:11,349
I'd come up behind her,
199
00:07:11,453 --> 00:07:12,405
put my hands on her neck...
200
00:07:12,508 --> 00:07:13,732
I'm with you so far.
201
00:07:13,804 --> 00:07:15,880
...then massage her and
tell her she was right.
202
00:07:15,983 --> 00:07:17,718
But what if she wasn't right?
203
00:07:18,791 --> 00:07:20,342
That's ego talking.
204
00:07:20,413 --> 00:07:22,828
In Buddhism, we believe it's
better to conquer yourself
205
00:07:22,933 --> 00:07:24,192
than win a thousand battles.
206
00:07:24,227 --> 00:07:26,848
That's why Nepal is always
crushing it at the Olympics.
207
00:07:26,919 --> 00:07:28,790
Jay, an enlightened man
would go over there
208
00:07:28,895 --> 00:07:31,175
and say, "Gloria,
I love and respect you,
209
00:07:31,246 --> 00:07:33,220
"so of course I love
and respect your family.
210
00:07:33,290 --> 00:07:34,751
I am sorry."
211
00:07:34,822 --> 00:07:36,115
But it was all her fault.
212
00:07:36,218 --> 00:07:38,194
She wouldn't admit it, but she told me
213
00:07:38,263 --> 00:07:41,088
one person was staying
with us for one day.
214
00:07:41,159 --> 00:07:44,494
That's her text,
but what was her subtext?
215
00:07:45,775 --> 00:07:47,288
Jerry, you're a genius.
216
00:07:47,393 --> 00:07:49,367
She sent me a text.
217
00:07:49,472 --> 00:07:50,390
I have the proof.
218
00:07:50,493 --> 00:07:51,376
Gloria?
219
00:07:51,482 --> 00:07:52,979
- What?
- Right here.
220
00:07:53,082 --> 00:07:55,465
You don't have to walk over here.
221
00:07:55,534 --> 00:07:57,748
I can read your giant
font from across the room.
222
00:07:57,851 --> 00:07:59,927
"Jay, don't call the police
when you come home.
223
00:07:59,998 --> 00:08:01,052
"It's my cousin.
224
00:08:01,157 --> 00:08:04,152
He's staying with us for one day."
225
00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:05,890
Let me see.
226
00:08:14,134 --> 00:08:16,449
Walk me through that
Buddhist nonsense again.
227
00:08:16,521 --> 00:08:18,631
Whoo-hoo!
228
00:08:18,734 --> 00:08:21,355
Fun, huh?
Feel that wind and smell that air.
229
00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:23,161
Yeah, it's so bumpy.
230
00:08:23,265 --> 00:08:25,545
Sports suspension.
Nothing between me and the road
231
00:08:25,615 --> 00:08:27,113
except my knuckle-less gloves.
232
00:08:27,216 --> 00:08:28,748
Why do you even have those?
233
00:08:28,853 --> 00:08:29,837
Oh, a quirk of the Dunphys.
234
00:08:29,909 --> 00:08:31,542
My fingers get cold,
but my knuckles get hot.
235
00:08:31,646 --> 00:08:32,564
Ah.
236
00:08:32,633 --> 00:08:33,926
Check it out!
237
00:08:33,997 --> 00:08:35,323
There's an 8-track player. I love it.
238
00:08:35,393 --> 00:08:36,856
Let's crank something.
239
00:08:36,959 --> 00:08:39,514
Never heard of this band...
Head Cleaner.
240
00:08:39,617 --> 00:08:41,864
Yeah, why don't we just
listen to whatever's in there?
241
00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:45,031
Oh, my God.
242
00:08:45,135 --> 00:08:48,199
- Oh, this takes me back.
- Yeah, I love it.
243
00:08:48,305 --> 00:08:51,674
♪ Get your motor goin' ♪
244
00:08:51,745 --> 00:08:54,161
♪ Heading for the doorway ♪
245
00:08:54,966 --> 00:08:57,773
♪ Cooking an adventure ♪
246
00:08:57,843 --> 00:09:00,498
♪ And then we make that doorway ♪
247
00:09:00,601 --> 00:09:01,962
So fun!
248
00:09:02,034 --> 00:09:03,836
You're smiling. You love the car.
249
00:09:03,940 --> 00:09:05,268
Ah, I just remembered something.
250
00:09:05,338 --> 00:09:06,290
What? Tell me.
251
00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:08,164
It's a... It's a thing from high school.
252
00:09:08,234 --> 00:09:10,276
Come on.
There are no secrets on the open road.
253
00:09:10,379 --> 00:09:13,443
I just remembered that I lost
my virginity in this car.
254
00:09:13,919 --> 00:09:14,977
What's that now?
255
00:09:15,047 --> 00:09:17,600
Yeah, my boyfriend
snuck the car out at night
256
00:09:17,704 --> 00:09:18,827
and then, you know...
257
00:09:18,930 --> 00:09:20,188
♪ He found the doorway ♪
258
00:09:22,984 --> 00:09:24,208
Oh, my knuckles are overheating.
259
00:09:24,313 --> 00:09:25,776
This isn't bothering you, is it, Phil?
260
00:09:25,881 --> 00:09:27,343
I mean,
you told me about your first time.
261
00:09:27,412 --> 00:09:29,557
I told you about that to
explain why I hate bees so much.
262
00:09:29,660 --> 00:09:30,783
Let's just not talk about this anymore.
263
00:09:30,888 --> 00:09:31,839
Okay.
264
00:09:31,943 --> 00:09:36,030
♪ Born to be wild ♪
265
00:09:36,134 --> 00:09:37,971
This is the song that was playing,
isn't it?
266
00:09:38,041 --> 00:09:38,993
It's one of them.
267
00:09:42,285 --> 00:09:43,558
I'm gonna fix lunch. Want some?
268
00:09:43,629 --> 00:09:44,959
You're eating lunch?
269
00:09:44,991 --> 00:09:46,931
Is there some new Internet
challenge I'm not aware of?
270
00:09:47,002 --> 00:09:48,669
And why is your doll in bandages?
271
00:09:48,739 --> 00:09:51,495
You know me.
I always loved playing doctor.
272
00:09:51,566 --> 00:09:53,779
The truth is,
I accidentally ran her over
273
00:09:53,849 --> 00:09:55,720
and ripped her arm off,
which might have been fine
274
00:09:55,789 --> 00:09:59,399
if that was the only
baby-mangling issue I had today.
275
00:10:03,456 --> 00:10:04,509
Oh, my God!
276
00:10:04,614 --> 00:10:05,973
Oh, uh, uh...
277
00:10:06,078 --> 00:10:08,495
Oh, my God.
278
00:10:08,599 --> 00:10:10,131
I'm not cut out to be a mother.
279
00:10:10,234 --> 00:10:13,468
Then again, a real baby
is easier than a doll, right?
280
00:10:13,819 --> 00:10:16,705
Like, a real baby would let you know
281
00:10:16,810 --> 00:10:18,885
if it was on fire.
282
00:10:19,977 --> 00:10:22,564
Oh, God, why are you crying?
283
00:10:22,669 --> 00:10:24,984
Did you just win the
weirdest beauty pageant ever?
284
00:10:25,054 --> 00:10:27,880
Promises kept, Mitchell...
180 months of roses,
285
00:10:27,984 --> 00:10:31,013
and I just watched the
most beautiful love story
286
00:10:31,118 --> 00:10:33,193
between boy and alien.
287
00:10:33,264 --> 00:10:36,157
Why can't the world have
the hearts of children?
288
00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:37,623
Uh-huh.
289
00:10:38,197 --> 00:10:39,597
You know, I think the thing
that touched me the most
290
00:10:39,701 --> 00:10:44,674
was how we were really rooting
for E.T. to find his way home.
291
00:10:44,779 --> 00:10:47,432
I bet you were pretty thrilled
to stumble upon that coincidence.
292
00:10:47,537 --> 00:10:48,393
I didn't hate it.
293
00:10:48,491 --> 00:10:51,078
Anyway, I'm all caught up
in the promises department.
294
00:10:51,148 --> 00:10:52,168
Your serve.
295
00:10:52,238 --> 00:10:54,314
Cam, I just started
at the D.A.'s office.
296
00:10:54,385 --> 00:10:56,222
I... I can't move anytime soon.
297
00:10:56,292 --> 00:10:57,823
Plus, what about Lily's school?
298
00:10:57,893 --> 00:10:59,458
They have schools in Grasshopper.
299
00:10:59,564 --> 00:11:00,651
Do they?
300
00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:03,309
- Plus, Lily has so many friends here.
- Does she?
301
00:11:03,379 --> 00:11:05,353
Did I hear my name?
302
00:11:05,422 --> 00:11:07,738
What are you two yentas gabbing about?
303
00:11:07,807 --> 00:11:10,871
We were just talking about moving
to Grandma and Grandpa's farm
304
00:11:10,976 --> 00:11:12,676
in... in the heart of Tornado Alley.
305
00:11:12,747 --> 00:11:15,779
Oh, God. Cam... Cam.
Look, she's clearly terrified.
306
00:11:15,816 --> 00:11:18,128
Yeah, well, don't worry, sweetie,
because it's already been determined.
307
00:11:18,232 --> 00:11:19,626
We're staying here forever,
308
00:11:19,730 --> 00:11:23,885
because other daddy is planting
dead Nana in the backyard.
309
00:11:23,989 --> 00:11:24,873
I'm out.
310
00:11:24,977 --> 00:11:26,745
Okay, it was my mother's last wish
311
00:11:26,851 --> 00:11:28,927
that one of us take her,
and Claire doesn't want her.
312
00:11:29,031 --> 00:11:29,983
What do you want me to do?
313
00:11:30,087 --> 00:11:31,210
Well, what do you want me to do?
314
00:11:31,314 --> 00:11:33,356
The farm has been in my
family for 100 years.
315
00:11:33,459 --> 00:11:35,431
You know, I'm next in line,
and you know Daddy.
316
00:11:35,466 --> 00:11:36,694
H-He's slowing down.
317
00:11:36,798 --> 00:11:40,543
Your mother just sent us a video of
him winning a log-rolling contest.
318
00:11:40,648 --> 00:11:43,404
Only in his age group,
and he was so spent the next day,
319
00:11:43,510 --> 00:11:44,973
he slept through his first rooster crow
320
00:11:45,077 --> 00:11:46,947
and his snooze rooster crow.
321
00:11:47,051 --> 00:11:48,719
Just admit it... you have no intention
322
00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:50,422
of keeping your promise
of moving to Missouri.
323
00:11:50,423 --> 00:11:51,667
You know what? You're right.
324
00:11:51,668 --> 00:11:54,972
I... I can't ever imagine myself
living on that farm. I'm sorry.
325
00:11:54,973 --> 00:11:55,994
Well, there it is.
326
00:11:57,721 --> 00:12:00,198
I'm just glad E.T. didn't
land at your house.
327
00:12:02,086 --> 00:12:03,626
Okay, don't give me that look.
328
00:12:03,726 --> 00:12:04,981
You'll get to go back to Missouri
329
00:12:05,055 --> 00:12:07,812
when your mom gets released from pris...
uh, princess camp.
330
00:12:07,881 --> 00:12:10,332
You're really hitting the
gum pretty hard, aren't you?
331
00:12:10,367 --> 00:12:12,922
How do I do this?
Do I... Do I just push down?
332
00:12:12,991 --> 00:12:13,909
I don't know.
333
00:12:14,430 --> 00:12:15,749
Nope.
334
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:18,032
I got off to a slow start,
335
00:12:18,101 --> 00:12:19,938
but eventually I... I found my rhythm.
336
00:12:20,010 --> 00:12:21,574
And...
And once I broke that sprinkler line,
337
00:12:21,644 --> 00:12:23,516
the... the water
did most of the digging for me.
338
00:12:23,585 --> 00:12:26,888
All right, let's go. Just one last pull.
339
00:12:26,992 --> 00:12:29,171
Ah! Ah, okay, that's my ankle.
340
00:12:29,356 --> 00:12:30,580
I'm stuck.
341
00:12:30,673 --> 00:12:33,667
Cal, so, what I'm gonna
need you to do is go insi...
342
00:12:33,739 --> 00:12:36,529
Cal. Cal!
343
00:12:39,291 --> 00:12:40,549
What? What is it, boy?
344
00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:43,547
Mitchell? H-He's in trouble?
345
00:12:43,617 --> 00:12:46,443
Trapped in a hole? Show me.
346
00:12:48,693 --> 00:12:51,143
- Oh, my God, you're cheating.
- No.
347
00:12:51,215 --> 00:12:52,677
You're looking at ways
to solve the puzzle.
348
00:12:52,781 --> 00:12:55,300
How'd you do it, you pea-brain?
349
00:12:55,404 --> 00:12:56,424
Aah!
350
00:12:57,652 --> 00:12:59,048
What is wrong with me?
351
00:12:59,152 --> 00:13:00,852
Maybe Dr. Johnson is right.
352
00:13:00,923 --> 00:13:02,828
Maybe I don't have what
it takes to live on Mars.
353
00:13:04,125 --> 00:13:05,861
Stop! Stop.
354
00:13:05,931 --> 00:13:06,917
It's not you.
355
00:13:06,986 --> 00:13:08,245
After I solved the puzzle,
356
00:13:08,316 --> 00:13:09,948
I wanted to make sure you couldn't,
357
00:13:10,019 --> 00:13:11,618
so I broke a few pieces,
358
00:13:11,688 --> 00:13:12,742
glued some others together.
359
00:13:12,812 --> 00:13:13,901
It can't be solved.
360
00:13:15,072 --> 00:13:17,034
I've had nightmares over that puzzle!
361
00:13:17,104 --> 00:13:18,261
I cried about it in therapy!
362
00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:19,282
Stop! Not the hair!
You're gonna fizz it.
363
00:13:19,387 --> 00:13:22,178
Hey, what the hell? Break it up.
364
00:13:22,282 --> 00:13:23,474
Luke's not playing fair.
365
00:13:23,543 --> 00:13:25,347
Yeah, well, you make him feel dumb,
366
00:13:25,417 --> 00:13:26,709
and he acts like it doesn't bother him,
367
00:13:26,778 --> 00:13:28,754
but it does. And, Luke,
368
00:13:28,823 --> 00:13:30,934
you know better than to mess
with someone so uptight.
369
00:13:31,003 --> 00:13:32,227
What do we always say?
370
00:13:32,299 --> 00:13:34,511
Don't break Alex. She's our safety net.
371
00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:36,350
Now, you both need to calm down.
372
00:13:36,420 --> 00:13:37,474
Luke, walk it off.
373
00:13:39,147 --> 00:13:39,996
Oh, no.
374
00:13:40,099 --> 00:13:41,189
Where's Lulu?
375
00:13:41,292 --> 00:13:42,652
Wh... Huh?
376
00:13:42,756 --> 00:13:43,708
The doll?
377
00:13:43,813 --> 00:13:45,787
Who cares?
378
00:13:49,839 --> 00:13:51,782
Haley, what's going on with you today?
379
00:13:51,852 --> 00:13:52,804
Are you okay?
380
00:13:53,510 --> 00:13:55,325
Okay, um...
381
00:13:55,394 --> 00:13:58,527
So, no one else knows,
especially Mom and Dad,
382
00:13:58,598 --> 00:14:02,241
so you can't tell anybody, but...
383
00:14:02,311 --> 00:14:03,807
I'm pregnant.
384
00:14:03,911 --> 00:14:04,898
You're pregnant?
385
00:14:05,002 --> 00:14:07,112
Damn it, Luke!
386
00:14:08,578 --> 00:14:09,531
Wow.
387
00:14:09,635 --> 00:14:12,256
Guys, don't look at me like that, okay?
388
00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:15,697
You must think I'm some
irresponsible idiot, don't you?
389
00:14:15,768 --> 00:14:19,206
Um, uh, it's a... Wow, that's...
390
00:14:19,276 --> 00:14:21,149
You got... That's a lot to process.
391
00:14:21,253 --> 00:14:23,055
I...
392
00:14:23,126 --> 00:14:25,066
D-Do you know who's the...
393
00:14:25,169 --> 00:14:26,122
It's Dylan's.
394
00:14:26,225 --> 00:14:27,654
Oh. What a joyous...
395
00:14:27,724 --> 00:14:28,710
Oh, save it.
396
00:14:28,815 --> 00:14:30,583
He's been great, actually.
397
00:14:30,654 --> 00:14:33,854
I'm the disaster. I mean, look at Lulu.
398
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,640
I'm gonna be a horrible mother.
399
00:14:36,210 --> 00:14:40,396
Okay, first, it's just a doll.
400
00:14:40,499 --> 00:14:43,148
And you've been taking
care of us our whole lives.
401
00:14:43,261 --> 00:14:46,357
Yeah. Remember how you used to pick out
402
00:14:46,428 --> 00:14:48,912
my first day of school outfit
so I wouldn't get beat up?
403
00:14:48,981 --> 00:14:52,387
Or how you'd hold the book while
I read myself a bedtime story?
404
00:14:52,457 --> 00:14:54,159
And you're still doing it.
405
00:14:54,262 --> 00:14:57,702
You just swooped in and
handled our fight like a pro.
406
00:14:57,772 --> 00:15:01,278
And you're understanding and
loving and a total badass.
407
00:15:01,383 --> 00:15:02,778
She's right.
408
00:15:02,847 --> 00:15:04,992
You're the kind of person
that can patch things up
409
00:15:05,061 --> 00:15:07,512
if, say, Alex ever found out
410
00:15:07,549 --> 00:15:09,794
that I re-arranged the
stickers on her Rubik's Cube.
411
00:15:09,899 --> 00:15:12,588
You son of a...
412
00:15:12,693 --> 00:15:14,803
Aah! Hair, hair! Haley, help!
413
00:15:16,236 --> 00:15:18,482
Oh. Well, I'm smiling,
414
00:15:18,586 --> 00:15:20,253
so I guess we're keeping the car.
415
00:15:20,357 --> 00:15:21,854
No, you know what? You're right.
416
00:15:21,925 --> 00:15:24,204
It's not safe,
and it's just gonna take up space.
417
00:15:24,771 --> 00:15:26,659
Honey, did I say something wrong?
418
00:15:26,762 --> 00:15:27,714
Are you feeling bad?
419
00:15:27,784 --> 00:15:29,757
Well, I-I guess if I'm being honest,
420
00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:31,597
I'm a-a little worried that
every time I get in the car,
421
00:15:31,669 --> 00:15:33,982
I'll picture you and, uh...
422
00:15:34,086 --> 00:15:34,969
Todd.
423
00:15:35,074 --> 00:15:36,299
- Todd?
- Todd.
424
00:15:36,368 --> 00:15:37,900
Todd was the name of my bully.
425
00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:39,024
It's getting realer.
426
00:15:39,094 --> 00:15:40,591
I mean, how would you feel
427
00:15:40,696 --> 00:15:43,520
about driving around in the
sweet ride I lost my virginy in?
428
00:15:43,624 --> 00:15:47,132
Do you really think you can track down
the ox cart from the Renaissance fair?
429
00:15:47,202 --> 00:15:49,823
I only got to second
base in the ox cart.
430
00:15:49,894 --> 00:15:52,311
If it makes you uncomfortable,
we can sell the car.
431
00:15:52,380 --> 00:15:54,184
- Really?
- Yeah.
432
00:15:54,288 --> 00:15:55,104
Thank you.
433
00:15:55,174 --> 00:15:57,523
But for what it's worth,
434
00:15:57,592 --> 00:16:00,350
I don't want to keep it because
I had so much great sex in it.
435
00:16:00,419 --> 00:16:03,723
- So much?
- No, it's because of what happened the next day.
436
00:16:03,792 --> 00:16:07,845
My mom, ugh,
she found the condom wrapper
437
00:16:07,915 --> 00:16:11,489
under the seat,
and it must have freaked her out.
438
00:16:11,559 --> 00:16:15,033
But instead of shaming me
439
00:16:15,068 --> 00:16:20,006
or... or embarrassing me with some long,
awful lecture,
440
00:16:20,077 --> 00:16:22,459
she was cool.
441
00:16:22,495 --> 00:16:24,981
She wanted to make sure that
I was okay with everything
442
00:16:25,050 --> 00:16:27,432
and that it had all
been a good experience.
443
00:16:27,537 --> 00:16:28,411
But...
444
00:16:29,752 --> 00:16:31,487
Wow.
445
00:16:31,556 --> 00:16:34,996
That must be why she
wanted me to have the car.
446
00:16:35,065 --> 00:16:38,163
That talk meant as much
to my mom as it did to me.
447
00:16:38,269 --> 00:16:40,616
That's incredibly sweet,
448
00:16:40,652 --> 00:16:43,410
and, if it means that much to you,
you should keep it.
449
00:16:43,481 --> 00:16:45,318
But I doubt I'll ever
feel comfortable in it.
450
00:16:46,232 --> 00:16:48,111
We can fix that.
451
00:16:52,098 --> 00:16:53,529
I like where this is going.
452
00:16:53,599 --> 00:16:56,765
I'm gonna make you the best
sex I ever had in this car.
453
00:16:56,833 --> 00:16:58,502
That's a lot of pressure.
Let's aim for top three.
454
00:16:58,606 --> 00:16:59,626
Mm.
455
00:17:04,073 --> 00:17:07,052
Gloria. I have something to say.
456
00:17:07,157 --> 00:17:11,005
My approach cost me a phone and
a second visit from the plumber,
457
00:17:11,074 --> 00:17:13,627
so I decided to try Jerry's advice
458
00:17:13,662 --> 00:17:17,067
and give Gloria a heartfelt,
sincere apology.
459
00:17:17,171 --> 00:17:18,602
How hard could that be to fake?
460
00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:22,246
I was wrong to chase off your cousins.
461
00:17:22,317 --> 00:17:25,074
I'm sorry that I didn't...
462
00:17:25,144 --> 00:17:27,390
take your feelings into consideration.
463
00:17:27,953 --> 00:17:31,376
You deserve to be respected.
464
00:17:31,447 --> 00:17:33,489
What I should've said was I love you,
465
00:17:33,559 --> 00:17:35,294
so I love your family.
466
00:17:35,397 --> 00:17:38,360
Please forgive me for my rude behavior.
467
00:17:38,429 --> 00:17:41,425
Jay, this is all I ever wanted.
468
00:17:41,991 --> 00:17:45,310
For you to come to me like this,
it means the world to me.
469
00:17:45,413 --> 00:17:46,637
I'm sorry.
470
00:17:46,707 --> 00:17:49,807
I should've been more forward
about my cousin's visit.
471
00:17:49,911 --> 00:17:53,486
And I was wrong for
crushing your cellphone.
472
00:17:53,589 --> 00:17:54,848
Can you ever forgive me?
473
00:17:54,952 --> 00:17:57,231
Well, it may take a little while,
but sure,
474
00:17:57,303 --> 00:17:58,253
I guess I can.
475
00:17:58,359 --> 00:17:59,788
You know what I'm going to do?
476
00:17:59,858 --> 00:18:03,467
I'm gonna go to that
butcher shop that you like.
477
00:18:04,252 --> 00:18:06,566
And, if Jerry doesn't mind,
478
00:18:06,671 --> 00:18:09,530
I'm gonna buy you
a beautiful steak for dinner.
479
00:18:09,635 --> 00:18:11,540
Hey, it's your house.
You do what's best for you.
480
00:18:11,611 --> 00:18:13,142
Come to my house, I'm going to be nude.
481
00:18:13,211 --> 00:18:15,357
We're never going to go
to your house, Jerry.
482
00:18:15,460 --> 00:18:16,990
Did you hear that, Stella?
483
00:18:17,061 --> 00:18:18,184
We're gonna have a steak.
484
00:18:18,254 --> 00:18:19,409
Jerry, you're a genius.
485
00:18:19,481 --> 00:18:21,182
- This is life-changing.
- What did I tell you?
486
00:18:21,251 --> 00:18:22,952
I wish I had tried this years ago.
487
00:18:23,057 --> 00:18:26,053
This would've made my life
with Dede downright tolerable.
488
00:18:26,122 --> 00:18:27,075
Who knows?
489
00:18:27,144 --> 00:18:28,404
Maybe we even could've been happy.
490
00:18:28,474 --> 00:18:29,494
I'm glad you think so.
491
00:18:29,564 --> 00:18:31,912
But I'm not the one you need to tell.
492
00:18:31,982 --> 00:18:35,625
Hey, Dede, it's me, Jay.
Just wondering how you're doing.
493
00:18:35,731 --> 00:18:36,682
Dad?
494
00:18:36,785 --> 00:18:38,556
Uh, it's Saturday here.
495
00:18:38,626 --> 00:18:40,769
You're not leaving a voicemail.
496
00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:41,791
- From the heart.
- Yeah.
497
00:18:41,896 --> 00:18:43,938
What I wanted to say is
498
00:18:44,042 --> 00:18:47,414
I could've handled a lot of
things better in our relationship.
499
00:18:47,518 --> 00:18:48,435
Mm.
500
00:18:48,540 --> 00:18:50,035
I guess I wasn't a very good partner.
501
00:18:50,106 --> 00:18:51,295
I dug in a lot.
502
00:18:51,399 --> 00:18:54,227
I never thought of things
from your point of view.
503
00:18:54,296 --> 00:18:57,666
I guess I always needed
to get my own way.
504
00:18:57,738 --> 00:18:59,200
Anyway, you were a good woman,
505
00:18:59,270 --> 00:19:00,562
and we had some fun times,
506
00:19:00,667 --> 00:19:02,572
especially in the sack.
507
00:19:02,677 --> 00:19:04,173
Never had a problem there.
508
00:19:04,243 --> 00:19:06,115
Careful.
That's my wife you're talking to.
509
00:19:06,220 --> 00:19:07,989
- Oh, sorry, Jerr, yeah.
- Okay.
510
00:19:08,059 --> 00:19:10,339
I hope you grow up into a nice,
big tree,
511
00:19:10,444 --> 00:19:12,623
a-and I hope you don't
get any of those beetles
512
00:19:12,726 --> 00:19:13,713
that are killing everything.
513
00:19:13,782 --> 00:19:15,688
And when you settle
in in a little while,
514
00:19:15,758 --> 00:19:17,867
maybe I'll bring Joe over
and he can climb you.
515
00:19:17,938 --> 00:19:20,321
- Mm.
- Amen.
516
00:19:21,026 --> 00:19:22,228
You done?
517
00:19:22,299 --> 00:19:23,490
Yeah, I think so.
518
00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:24,919
Mind if I say a word?
519
00:19:25,023 --> 00:19:26,861
She's all yours.
520
00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:29,109
Jay was a big man.
521
00:19:29,214 --> 00:19:31,359
He apologized to his wife.
522
00:19:31,428 --> 00:19:33,299
And do you know what she did?
523
00:19:33,370 --> 00:19:34,936
She apologized back!
524
00:19:35,497 --> 00:19:37,660
Did you ever do that even once?!
525
00:19:37,765 --> 00:19:41,919
I apologized to you a thousand times,
and you let me just eat it.
526
00:19:42,024 --> 00:19:43,452
Well, I'm tired of telling
you you're always right,
527
00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:44,747
'cause guess what?
528
00:19:44,816 --> 00:19:47,301
That dolphin did not recognize you.
529
00:19:47,373 --> 00:19:49,107
Your haikus had too many syllables.
530
00:19:49,212 --> 00:19:51,663
And trust me, vegans do need deodorant!
531
00:19:51,766 --> 00:19:54,694
All right. Come on.
532
00:19:54,798 --> 00:19:56,261
Come on, kid.
Let me buy you a nice steak.
533
00:19:56,366 --> 00:19:57,318
Yeah.
534
00:19:57,388 --> 00:19:59,395
Hey. Here.
535
00:19:59,465 --> 00:20:00,997
I-I want you to eat something.
536
00:20:01,101 --> 00:20:02,122
Be careful.
537
00:20:02,190 --> 00:20:04,096
Thank you for taking
such good care of me,
538
00:20:04,201 --> 00:20:05,153
even when you're mad.
539
00:20:05,223 --> 00:20:07,334
No. My gosh, I am not mad.
540
00:20:07,437 --> 00:20:08,729
And I shouldn't have pushed.
541
00:20:08,835 --> 00:20:12,171
I-I'm sorry, but, you know,
if we learn one thing today,
542
00:20:12,274 --> 00:20:15,169
it's that you couldn't
survive on a farm.
543
00:20:15,273 --> 00:20:16,736
I'll be fine,
544
00:20:16,839 --> 00:20:19,187
- because I'll be with you.
- What?
545
00:20:19,291 --> 00:20:22,220
I guess w-when I look at
things from your point of view,
546
00:20:22,325 --> 00:20:24,809
I... I made a promise.
547
00:20:24,914 --> 00:20:27,363
When your dad needs you
to take over the farm,
548
00:20:27,468 --> 00:20:28,421
I'm in.
549
00:20:28,524 --> 00:20:30,738
Mitchell, that means so much to me,
550
00:20:30,841 --> 00:20:32,781
and you're gonna love it.
551
00:20:32,886 --> 00:20:35,063
The fresh air, and there's no traffic.
552
00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:38,231
Oh, and with a second lawyer in town,
we could reopen the courthouse.
553
00:20:38,336 --> 00:20:40,378
H-Have you ever milked a goat?
554
00:20:40,483 --> 00:20:42,773
Have you ever had fresh
milk right from the spigot?
555
00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:44,432
Oh, unbelievable.
556
00:20:44,535 --> 00:20:46,237
You do have to be careful
of snakes and mice and rats.
557
00:20:46,341 --> 00:20:48,349
There's a ton of field mice.
558
00:20:48,453 --> 00:20:51,023
They scare me. One ran up my
sleeve one time when I was a kid.
559
00:20:52,964 --> 00:20:56,138
This car is smaller than I remember.
I think I'm just less flexible?
560
00:20:56,243 --> 00:20:58,317
- I think I threw out my lap.
- Oh.
561
00:20:58,812 --> 00:21:00,839
We were, um,
just cleaning out the garage.
562
00:21:00,944 --> 00:21:02,303
Mm, nice try. We heard everything.
563
00:21:02,408 --> 00:21:03,529
Yeah, although around the finish line,
564
00:21:03,636 --> 00:21:05,813
we kind of lost track of who was who.
565
00:21:05,916 --> 00:21:09,185
I can't believe Mom caught you
having sex in her car again.
566
00:21:09,290 --> 00:21:11,774
You're calling the tree Mom? Okay.
567
00:21:11,879 --> 00:21:13,717
So, listen, after some reflection,
568
00:21:13,820 --> 00:21:16,250
we decided that she
might be better off here.
569
00:21:16,285 --> 00:21:17,396
Now, before you say no...
570
00:21:17,431 --> 00:21:18,691
I'd actually really like that.
571
00:21:19,370 --> 00:21:20,360
Hey!
572
00:21:20,463 --> 00:21:22,351
What was all that
screeching in the garage?
573
00:21:22,387 --> 00:21:23,289
Are the raccoons back?
574
00:21:23,290 --> 00:21:24,481
Damn it!