1 00:00:03,090 --> 00:00:04,047 The vet called. 2 00:00:04,091 --> 00:00:06,136 Stella's test results came back. 3 00:00:06,180 --> 00:00:09,139 He wants me to bring her in...today. 4 00:00:09,183 --> 00:00:11,707 Oh, no. Come here, you. 5 00:00:11,750 --> 00:00:13,274 Oh, Jay, I'm so sorry. 6 00:00:13,317 --> 00:00:17,278 That is the bad thing about loving animals, right? 7 00:00:17,321 --> 00:00:21,108 But think about all the wonderful things you gave her, 8 00:00:21,151 --> 00:00:24,111 like a beautiful home, delicious food... 9 00:00:24,154 --> 00:00:26,983 ...our marital bed. 10 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:31,205 Ay, Stella will not be forgotten. 11 00:00:32,249 --> 00:00:34,860 I'm not putting her down, you goblin. 12 00:00:34,904 --> 00:00:36,210 She needs a surgery. 13 00:00:36,253 --> 00:00:39,430 Oh. That is such great news. 14 00:00:39,474 --> 00:00:41,084 Oh, what's wrong with Stella? 15 00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:43,086 She has an elongated soft palate, 16 00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:45,306 which is why sometimes it's hard for her to breathe. 17 00:00:45,349 --> 00:00:46,872 And she snores a lot. 18 00:00:46,916 --> 00:00:48,439 Any chance that they can do you, too? 19 00:00:48,483 --> 00:00:50,876 This is a serious operation. They have to put her out. 20 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:52,661 What happens if she doesn't wake up? 21 00:00:52,704 --> 00:00:53,879 What would I do?! 22 00:00:53,923 --> 00:00:55,316 When I got my wisdom teeth out, 23 00:00:55,359 --> 00:00:57,318 you made me walk the last four blocks to the dentist 24 00:00:57,361 --> 00:00:59,885 so you could get an Egg McMuffin before the 10:30 cut-off. 25 00:00:59,929 --> 00:01:01,148 You're gonna have to let that go. 26 00:01:01,191 --> 00:01:02,801 You know what? I'm not gonna do it. 27 00:01:02,845 --> 00:01:04,803 She seems fine.Maybe she just needs 28 00:01:04,847 --> 00:01:06,153 some fresh air to breathe better. 29 00:01:06,196 --> 00:01:08,111 Why don't we take her to the dog park? 30 00:01:08,155 --> 00:01:11,114 That's a great idea. Might be a little muddy out there. 31 00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:12,681 I'm gonna get your boots, gorgeous. 32 00:01:12,724 --> 00:01:14,465 Thank you. 33 00:01:14,509 --> 00:01:17,903 My boots are in the closet, next to the -- 34 00:01:17,947 --> 00:01:19,470 Was he just talking to Stella? 35 00:01:19,514 --> 00:01:20,906 Come here, you. 36 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,140 Crown molding wainscoting, crown molding wainscoting, 37 00:01:37,184 --> 00:01:39,273 French door credit score, French door credit score. 38 00:01:39,316 --> 00:01:40,709 You warming up for a big showing? 39 00:01:40,752 --> 00:01:41,753 Very big. 40 00:01:41,797 --> 00:01:43,581 I finally found Pepper his dream house. 41 00:01:43,625 --> 00:01:44,582 I can't believe you're still 42 00:01:44,626 --> 00:01:45,714 letting that man waste your time. 43 00:01:45,757 --> 00:01:47,281 How many houses have you shown him? 44 00:01:47,324 --> 00:01:50,719 Pfft, only, like -- I don't know, like, uh, 120. 45 00:01:50,762 --> 00:01:52,286 But we have fun. He's a hoot. 46 00:01:52,329 --> 00:01:54,940 Honey, even Mitch and Cam agree that he's impossible, 47 00:01:54,984 --> 00:01:56,420 and he's never gonna buy a house. 48 00:01:56,464 --> 00:01:57,552 Yes, he will. No. 49 00:01:57,595 --> 00:01:59,380 He always manages to find something wrong. 50 00:01:59,423 --> 00:02:03,558 The last house, the yoga room was too close to the panic room. 51 00:02:03,601 --> 00:02:05,212 He was willing to live with that, 52 00:02:05,255 --> 00:02:07,779 but the property wasn't zoned for his falcons. 53 00:02:07,823 --> 00:02:10,347 This one today, though, checks every single box. 54 00:02:10,391 --> 00:02:13,785 Great. So if Pepper doesn't buy the house today, 55 00:02:13,829 --> 00:02:16,353 you agree to stop letting him string you along 56 00:02:16,397 --> 00:02:18,442 and drop him as a client. 57 00:02:18,486 --> 00:02:21,880 How long did you string me along before I closed that deal? 58 00:02:21,924 --> 00:02:24,100 Honey, you can't get Pepper pregnant 59 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,015 and trap him in a house.You're on. 60 00:02:26,058 --> 00:02:27,016 You remember you need to be home 61 00:02:27,059 --> 00:02:28,800 by 5:00, right? Yeah. 62 00:02:28,844 --> 00:02:30,193 Wait, why? 63 00:02:30,237 --> 00:02:32,369 Alex's boyfriend, Bill, has cooked up some invention 64 00:02:32,413 --> 00:02:34,241 he wants us to invest in. 65 00:02:34,284 --> 00:02:35,590 Why us? 66 00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:39,594 Because someone inspired him. 67 00:02:39,637 --> 00:02:41,813 As you can see, my patent-pending 68 00:02:41,857 --> 00:02:45,469 Wear-Chair TM, barely noticeable. 69 00:02:45,513 --> 00:02:47,471 I love it. Whenever I get tired of standing, 70 00:02:47,515 --> 00:02:49,821 all I have to do -- press this button. 71 00:02:49,865 --> 00:02:54,348 A spring-loaded leg jets out to provide me with a comfy seat. 72 00:02:55,392 --> 00:02:57,829 You put it on backwards, didn't you? 73 00:02:57,873 --> 00:02:59,396 My point is, Bill, 74 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:01,790 there's a great invention inside all of us. 75 00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:03,618 Please, just be home in time. 76 00:03:03,661 --> 00:03:05,489 I don't want to crush a man's dreams on my own. 77 00:03:05,533 --> 00:03:06,229 You have to do it with me. 78 00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:08,797 Who knows? We might love his invention. 79 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:09,928 It's gonna be stupid. 80 00:03:09,972 --> 00:03:11,278 Good thing you weren't married to George Foreman 81 00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:13,410 or we'd still be grilling our meats one side at a time. 82 00:03:13,454 --> 00:03:14,890 Mm. 83 00:03:14,933 --> 00:03:19,460 So, Lily, how -- how are you today?! 84 00:03:19,503 --> 00:03:20,809 Lily?! 85 00:03:20,852 --> 00:03:22,376 Lily. 86 00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:24,465 Your father was just asking how you're doing. 87 00:03:24,508 --> 00:03:25,596 Are -- Are you all right? 88 00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:26,902 I'm fine. Okay. 89 00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:30,688 Yeah. 90 00:03:30,732 --> 00:03:32,690 Okay, uh... I gestured you over here 91 00:03:32,734 --> 00:03:34,257 'cause we need to talk about Lily. 92 00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:35,476 Yes, I puzzled that out. 93 00:03:35,519 --> 00:03:37,260 Also, you don't need to whisper. Watch. 94 00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:39,175 Honey, your father and I may get divorced 95 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,959 because he's thinking about becoming a woman. 96 00:03:41,003 --> 00:03:42,657 That explains a lot. 97 00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:46,704 I'm in between songs.Okay, all right. Now out. This way. 98 00:03:46,748 --> 00:03:48,097 What is going on with her? 99 00:03:48,140 --> 00:03:50,099 I don't want to be shut out like this another day. 100 00:03:50,142 --> 00:03:52,275 I know, but let's -- let's not get hysterical. 101 00:03:52,319 --> 00:03:53,537 I'm not getting hysterical. 102 00:03:53,581 --> 00:03:54,973 We're minutes away.Fair enough. 103 00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:56,758 I just want to see her smile. 104 00:03:56,801 --> 00:03:58,542 Yeah, okay, I'm gonna text Ronaldo again. 105 00:03:58,586 --> 00:04:01,458 Hopefully he got us into that KimmyLoveandStuff party. 106 00:04:01,502 --> 00:04:03,765 KimmyLoveandStuff is an Internet sensation 107 00:04:03,808 --> 00:04:05,375 that Lily loves. Yeah. 108 00:04:05,419 --> 00:04:06,942 Boom!She tries on clothes, 109 00:04:06,985 --> 00:04:09,510 she cries about bullies and plastic. 110 00:04:09,553 --> 00:04:11,512 You guys, just imagine 111 00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:13,862 if you were a turtle and this happened to you. 112 00:04:13,905 --> 00:04:15,864 Our whole family is obsessed with her. 113 00:04:15,907 --> 00:04:18,301 And that's the great thing about a tween girl 114 00:04:18,345 --> 00:04:19,433 having two gay dads. 115 00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:21,565 I mean, we -- we love the same things. 116 00:04:21,609 --> 00:04:23,567 Cute guys, fashion, gossip. 117 00:04:23,611 --> 00:04:26,091 Oh, my God! Ronaldo, he got us in! 118 00:04:26,135 --> 00:04:27,179 Amazing. 119 00:04:27,223 --> 00:04:28,311 Okay, we have to get him a thank-you gift. 120 00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:29,878 No, no, he owes you, okay? 121 00:04:29,921 --> 00:04:31,445 You gave him your bone marrow. 122 00:04:31,488 --> 00:04:32,794 Well, how could I not? 123 00:04:32,837 --> 00:04:35,710 He was still hungry, and I wasn't gonna eat any more of it. 124 00:04:35,753 --> 00:04:39,714 And we make our way back to the formal entryway, 125 00:04:39,757 --> 00:04:41,933 which, according to your checklist, 126 00:04:41,977 --> 00:04:44,153 "must be large enough to make people swoon 127 00:04:44,196 --> 00:04:45,328 when they step inside." 128 00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:47,678 I want to do it again. 129 00:04:47,722 --> 00:04:50,464 Ugh, that Pepper claims to be wealthy, 130 00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:51,682 but I don't believe it for a -- 131 00:04:51,726 --> 00:04:53,118 Oh, my heavens! 132 00:04:53,162 --> 00:04:54,337 We're peasants. 133 00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:56,426 It's got everything on your list -- 134 00:04:56,470 --> 00:04:58,994 piano bar, his and his dining rooms, 135 00:04:59,037 --> 00:05:02,476 plus a view of Rihanna's roof, which I never quite understood. 136 00:05:02,519 --> 00:05:04,521 I did a party for her once, and I could feel 137 00:05:04,565 --> 00:05:07,959 those judgy Barbadian eyes looking down on me. 138 00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:11,485 Now who's looking down on who, RiRi? 139 00:05:11,528 --> 00:05:14,357 Like they say, location, location, vengeance. 140 00:05:14,401 --> 00:05:16,577 You're funny. 141 00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:19,493 Oh, it's fabulous, Phil. Mother would love it. 142 00:05:19,536 --> 00:05:21,582 It's her generosity and my power of attorney 143 00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:23,584 that are making this purchase possible. 144 00:05:23,627 --> 00:05:26,587 So...are we ready to sign the offer? 145 00:05:26,630 --> 00:05:28,284 Very close. 146 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,851 I just want to live in it for a bit, 147 00:05:29,894 --> 00:05:31,505 get a feel for the everyday. 148 00:05:31,548 --> 00:05:32,636 You're in no hurry, right? 149 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:34,072 Oh, no, no, no. If I was in a hurry, 150 00:05:34,116 --> 00:05:36,597 would I have shown you over 200 houses? 151 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,729 I can't wait to get to the park. 152 00:05:38,773 --> 00:05:40,165 Hey, there's our mailman. 153 00:05:40,209 --> 00:05:41,515 Hey! Hey! 154 00:05:41,558 --> 00:05:42,733 Settle down, Jay. 155 00:05:42,777 --> 00:05:44,169 Boy, I'm itchy today. 156 00:05:44,213 --> 00:05:46,171 Hey, I hope that dog Bingo's at the park. 157 00:05:46,215 --> 00:05:47,521 He's fun to play with. 158 00:05:47,564 --> 00:05:49,479 What are you doing? You just missed our turn. 159 00:05:49,523 --> 00:05:50,828 I'm just going another way. 160 00:05:50,872 --> 00:05:53,309 There is no other way. 161 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,442 You're not taking us to the park. 162 00:05:55,485 --> 00:05:56,791 We're going to the vet. 163 00:05:56,834 --> 00:05:59,663 The doctor said that she needs this surgery. 164 00:05:59,707 --> 00:06:02,013 She's gonna be fine.I feel sick. I need some air. 165 00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:09,543 So, here I am on an ordinary day in my new house 166 00:06:09,586 --> 00:06:13,198 everyone hates me for and I'm walking and I'm kvelling... 167 00:06:13,242 --> 00:06:17,507 And we're panting and we're schvitzing... 168 00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:21,424 And we're laughing and we're crying... 169 00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:23,295 And we're thinking. 170 00:06:23,339 --> 00:06:24,906 And I'm putting. 171 00:06:24,949 --> 00:06:26,342 So, you have an entire wardrobe 172 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,691 in your car? Shh! 173 00:06:27,735 --> 00:06:31,913 ♪ And I'm playing and I'm singing ♪ 174 00:06:31,956 --> 00:06:33,480 ♪ And they're loving it 175 00:06:34,742 --> 00:06:36,570 I said loving it. 176 00:06:38,572 --> 00:06:41,531 This is a disaster! 177 00:06:41,575 --> 00:06:43,228 What a fun way to enter a room. 178 00:06:43,272 --> 00:06:45,230 I know Bill's coming over to talk to you guys today, 179 00:06:45,274 --> 00:06:47,232 and I'm freaking out.Oh, honey, don't worry. 180 00:06:47,276 --> 00:06:48,843 We're not gonna invest in his invention. 181 00:06:48,886 --> 00:06:50,497 That's not why he wants to talk to you. 182 00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:51,585 It's a cover. 183 00:06:51,628 --> 00:06:54,239 He's going to ask for your blessing to marry me. 184 00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:56,459 Whoa, what?And you have to tell him no. 185 00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:57,939 How do you know this? 186 00:06:57,982 --> 00:07:00,594 All of the men in his family propose on Valentine's Day, 187 00:07:00,637 --> 00:07:01,508 which is coming up. 188 00:07:01,551 --> 00:07:03,248 I read a text he sent to his buddy 189 00:07:03,292 --> 00:07:05,033 who just got engaged asking for tips 190 00:07:05,076 --> 00:07:06,817 for a good proposal, and my friend saw him 191 00:07:06,861 --> 00:07:08,602 coming out of a jewelry store. 192 00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:11,605 So you read his texts and you track his movements. 193 00:07:11,648 --> 00:07:13,607 I can see why he's so eager to lock you down. 194 00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:16,174 Look, I really like being with Bill, 195 00:07:16,218 --> 00:07:17,959 and if I have to turn him down, 196 00:07:18,002 --> 00:07:20,614 that means the end of the relationship 197 00:07:20,657 --> 00:07:23,399 and all that great sex. 198 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,662 Really come out of your shell, haven't you? 199 00:07:27,882 --> 00:07:30,058 -Okay. 200 00:07:30,101 --> 00:07:33,888 Okay. Are you ready?! Surprise! 201 00:07:33,931 --> 00:07:36,325 I'm gonna need a little bit more information. 202 00:07:36,368 --> 00:07:40,329 You are at KimmyLoveandStuff's exclusive launch party...KimmyLoveandStuff. 203 00:07:40,372 --> 00:07:43,680 ...for her new makeup line, and she's gonna sing 204 00:07:43,724 --> 00:07:44,899 her hit single...Single! 205 00:07:44,942 --> 00:07:46,509 ..."Give Me Love and Stuff.""Love and Stuff." 206 00:07:46,553 --> 00:07:49,164 Okay. How did you guys do this? 207 00:07:49,207 --> 00:07:52,733 Hello, total strangers. Welcome. 208 00:07:52,776 --> 00:07:54,343 Thank you so much for doing this, Ronaldo. 209 00:07:54,386 --> 00:07:55,779 If anyone asks who you are, 210 00:07:55,823 --> 00:07:57,694 say you were looking for the Garth Brooks book signing. 211 00:07:57,738 --> 00:07:59,609 Oh.They'll believe you because of your clothes. 212 00:07:59,653 --> 00:08:01,611 I'm gonna go look for the bathroom. 213 00:08:01,655 --> 00:08:04,658 Okay.Oh, look, she is so nervous, it's adorable. 214 00:08:04,701 --> 00:08:06,660 Um, uh, do you think that there's any way 215 00:08:06,703 --> 00:08:09,184 we can get KimmyLoveandStuff to come over and meet Lily? 216 00:08:09,227 --> 00:08:11,403 I'm not allowed to look her in the eye, so no. 217 00:08:11,447 --> 00:08:13,754 This is Ronaldo. 218 00:08:13,797 --> 00:08:16,626 Just pick it up, blow on it, and put it back on the tray. 219 00:08:16,670 --> 00:08:18,236 Are you kidding me with these questions? 220 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:19,977 We got to get KimmyLoveandStuff 221 00:08:20,021 --> 00:08:23,415 to say hi to Lily.Well, there's her dog, Boo, so she's nearby. 222 00:08:23,459 --> 00:08:25,548 Okay, I just got a really sketchy but great idea. 223 00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:28,420 Um, did you pack your jerky? 224 00:08:28,464 --> 00:08:29,639 Turkey, beef, or salmon? 225 00:08:29,683 --> 00:08:30,988 Here's what we're gonna do.Oh, please. 226 00:08:31,032 --> 00:08:32,555 This is not the first time I've lured an animal 227 00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:34,992 away from its owner with my purse jerky. 228 00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:39,606 Boo, come here. Boo, you want some food? 229 00:08:39,649 --> 00:08:41,042 Good girl. Come here. 230 00:08:41,085 --> 00:08:43,261 Move! Boo! 231 00:08:43,305 --> 00:08:45,263 Does anyone have eyes on Boo?! 232 00:08:45,307 --> 00:08:47,048 Those old men snatched her. 233 00:08:47,091 --> 00:08:48,702 Are you trying to steal my dog? 234 00:08:48,745 --> 00:08:50,051 No, no, no, no. I'm so sorry. We were just -- 235 00:08:50,094 --> 00:08:51,705 We're just trying to, uh, get your attention. 236 00:08:51,748 --> 00:08:53,271 Yeah, you see, our daughter, Lily, she -- 237 00:08:53,315 --> 00:08:54,708 she's a massive fan 238 00:08:54,751 --> 00:08:57,058 and she's a little depressed right now and we just -- 239 00:08:57,101 --> 00:08:58,842 we want to see her smile again. 240 00:08:58,886 --> 00:09:01,410 Oh...my...God. 241 00:09:02,977 --> 00:09:04,935 Gay dads are the best! 242 00:09:04,979 --> 00:09:07,372 That's what we said.We say that. 243 00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:08,939 I think it's because we love to have fun, 244 00:09:08,983 --> 00:09:10,811 but we're also not afraid to get real. 245 00:09:10,854 --> 00:09:13,857 Aww. I hate the idea of your daughter not smiling. 246 00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:15,598 Let's go make her day. 247 00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,034 Okay, well, that's her right there. 248 00:09:17,078 --> 00:09:18,645 Um, that's Lily. 249 00:09:18,688 --> 00:09:19,646 Film this. 250 00:09:19,689 --> 00:09:20,821 I-Is she talking to me? 251 00:09:20,864 --> 00:09:21,822 Yeah. 252 00:09:21,865 --> 00:09:24,738 Of course, Ms. LoveandStuff. 253 00:09:24,781 --> 00:09:27,610 Hey, lovers and stuffers. It's your girl, Kimmy. 254 00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:28,959 We're here at my launch party 255 00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:32,833 where I'm about to surprise my biggest fan. 256 00:09:32,876 --> 00:09:35,444 You ready to see someone's mind kim-plode? 257 00:09:37,881 --> 00:09:40,971 Hey, Lily. You having fun and stuff? 258 00:09:41,015 --> 00:09:42,799 Hey. 259 00:09:42,843 --> 00:09:44,279 Lily, it's KimmyLoveandStuff. 260 00:09:44,322 --> 00:09:45,454 I know. I said "hey." 261 00:09:45,497 --> 00:09:46,890 You know what? I think she's in shock. 262 00:09:46,934 --> 00:09:48,675 Lily, why don't you tell her your favorite video. 263 00:09:48,718 --> 00:09:50,677 Mine was when you tackled racism 264 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:52,679 and gave yourself that cute fishtail braid. 265 00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:53,854 Uh-huh. And Lily. 266 00:09:53,897 --> 00:09:56,291 I don't watch them anymore. Sorry. Can we go? 267 00:09:56,334 --> 00:09:57,858 Cut! Give me that! 268 00:09:57,901 --> 00:09:59,642 Lily? You're -- You're being very rude. 269 00:09:59,686 --> 00:10:01,426 Extra rude! 270 00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:03,777 And who are you people and how did you get in here? 271 00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:06,693 Both: Garth Brooks.When I find out, heads will roll. 272 00:10:06,736 --> 00:10:09,565 I'm so embarrassed.Both: You'reso embarrassed? 273 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:12,002 You're so embarrassed? 274 00:10:13,047 --> 00:10:14,875 Okay. We're ready for Stella. 275 00:10:14,918 --> 00:10:16,354 Well, I'm not ready. 276 00:10:16,398 --> 00:10:18,443 Jay, come on.Ah. 277 00:10:18,487 --> 00:10:21,055 All right. Careful. 278 00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:26,016 Wait a second. I-I have to say something. 279 00:10:26,060 --> 00:10:28,671 Little girl, I know you're scared. 280 00:10:28,715 --> 00:10:30,847 Me too. But you're a fighter. 281 00:10:30,891 --> 00:10:33,807 "Don't worry, Daddy. I'll be fine." 282 00:10:33,850 --> 00:10:34,938 She doesn't sound like that. 283 00:10:34,982 --> 00:10:37,724 Sorry. She'll do great. 284 00:10:37,767 --> 00:10:40,814 What is going on with you? I've never seen you like this. 285 00:10:40,857 --> 00:10:41,858 I don't know. 286 00:10:41,902 --> 00:10:45,079 When I was 10, Dad came home with a rescue, 287 00:10:45,122 --> 00:10:47,298 and I was so damned excited. 288 00:10:47,342 --> 00:10:49,083 But the dog wanted nothing to do with me -- 289 00:10:49,126 --> 00:10:52,564 went straight to my sister and never left her side. 290 00:10:52,608 --> 00:10:56,307 Then years later, we got a puppy who went right to Dede, 291 00:10:56,351 --> 00:10:58,135 growled at me every time I went near her. 292 00:10:58,179 --> 00:11:03,140 But with Stella, I didn't even bother trying, and she chose me. 293 00:11:03,184 --> 00:11:06,274 Now I may never see her again. 294 00:11:06,317 --> 00:11:09,581 I-I-I can't sit here. I need to take a walk. 295 00:11:11,409 --> 00:11:13,368 What kind of surgery? 296 00:11:13,411 --> 00:11:15,370 They just have to fix her breathing. 297 00:11:15,413 --> 00:11:16,719 It's not a big deal. 298 00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:18,721 Hmm. Is that what they told you? 299 00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:20,592 I'd be careful if I were you. 300 00:11:20,636 --> 00:11:21,768 What do you mean? 301 00:11:21,811 --> 00:11:24,553 Men get crazy about their animals. 302 00:11:24,596 --> 00:11:28,383 My husband had this horrible cat with a big lump on its neck. 303 00:11:28,426 --> 00:11:31,168 It was benign, didn't bother my husband, 304 00:11:31,212 --> 00:11:32,953 but I couldn't stand looking at it. 305 00:11:32,996 --> 00:11:35,172 So one day, when my husband was at work, 306 00:11:35,216 --> 00:11:37,609 I brought the cat in here to have them take 307 00:11:37,653 --> 00:11:39,611 that thing off and -- Kchhh. 308 00:11:39,655 --> 00:11:41,875 It died right on the table. 309 00:11:41,918 --> 00:11:44,094 Ay, no. Was your husband mad? 310 00:11:44,138 --> 00:11:46,793 Ex-husband, so yeah. 311 00:11:46,836 --> 00:11:50,231 Ay...Damn it. 312 00:11:50,274 --> 00:11:51,841 Hola. 313 00:11:51,885 --> 00:11:53,408 Hello? 314 00:11:56,237 --> 00:11:59,893 Well, all righty. I thought I was next. 315 00:11:59,936 --> 00:12:03,810 Well, that's the first time I've slow-cooked ribs for a showing. 316 00:12:03,853 --> 00:12:04,898 Mother's recipe. 317 00:12:04,941 --> 00:12:07,596 So, are you ready to make an offer? 318 00:12:09,424 --> 00:12:10,817 I don't know, Phil. 319 00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:11,992 Don't know what, Pep? 320 00:12:13,036 --> 00:12:14,559 I'm just not feeling it.Oh. 321 00:12:14,603 --> 00:12:17,562 Maybe we should see some more houses?No problemo. 322 00:12:17,606 --> 00:12:19,347 Um, did you want to look in another neighborhood 323 00:12:19,390 --> 00:12:22,045 or stay right here in Hell?! 324 00:12:22,089 --> 00:12:24,831 Aah! Oh! I beg your -- 325 00:12:24,874 --> 00:12:28,617 No, I beg. For God's sakes, buy this house. 326 00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:31,794 I've worked harder for you than any client in my entire career. 327 00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:33,796 I don't know if you're indecisive, 328 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,842 sadistic, or just plain crazy. 329 00:12:35,885 --> 00:12:36,843 Hey there, honey. 330 00:12:36,886 --> 00:12:37,844 You're still there, aren't you? 331 00:12:37,887 --> 00:12:40,063 He's just dotting the I's, crossing the T's. 332 00:12:40,107 --> 00:12:42,936 Yanking your chain. Dump him. 333 00:12:42,979 --> 00:12:44,285 Listen, Bill's about to be here any minute, 334 00:12:44,328 --> 00:12:46,417 and the situation has changed. 335 00:12:47,462 --> 00:12:48,419 Got to go. 336 00:12:49,943 --> 00:12:53,076 Get back here! I found you a bathroom with a koi pond! 337 00:12:57,515 --> 00:13:00,083 I have Stella! Get in! 338 00:13:04,087 --> 00:13:05,654 Where is she? 339 00:13:05,697 --> 00:13:07,656 She's in the back.Is she okay? 340 00:13:07,699 --> 00:13:10,093 I busted her out. I can't make you do this. 341 00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:11,007 If something happens to her, 342 00:13:11,051 --> 00:13:12,617 you're never going to forgive me, 343 00:13:12,661 --> 00:13:14,228 and I don't want to lose you like that. 344 00:13:14,271 --> 00:13:16,883 Well, that's touching, but you just blew through a stop sign. 345 00:13:16,926 --> 00:13:19,189 She'd probably be safer at the vet. 346 00:13:20,451 --> 00:13:22,932 Ronaldo. It's Phil Dunphy. 347 00:13:22,976 --> 00:13:23,846 Hello, Phil. 348 00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:25,848 I'm preparing a plate for a diva. 349 00:13:25,892 --> 00:13:27,241 Is everything okay? 350 00:13:27,284 --> 00:13:28,895 Uh, actually, no. 351 00:13:28,938 --> 00:13:30,679 I lost my temper with Pepper when he told me 352 00:13:30,722 --> 00:13:32,246 he wanted to see more houses, and I've been calling 353 00:13:32,289 --> 00:13:34,422 to apologize, but...He's not picking up. 354 00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:35,510 How did you know? 355 00:13:35,553 --> 00:13:36,728 It seemed the only possible conclusion 356 00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:38,121 to your sentence.Oh. 357 00:13:38,165 --> 00:13:39,775 Phil, do you know the reason 358 00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,429 I stopped house hunting with Pepper? 359 00:13:41,472 --> 00:13:43,648 Was it when that seller thought Pepper was your grandpa? 360 00:13:43,692 --> 00:13:45,650 He hasn't let me wear sunscreen since. 361 00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:48,871 No. I finally realized he wasn't going to buy a house. 362 00:13:48,915 --> 00:13:51,743 Are you kidding? I've wasted hundreds of hours. 363 00:13:51,787 --> 00:13:54,790 I postponed hernia surgery. Why would he do that to me? 364 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,357 He likes you. 365 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:57,924 Most straight guys find Pepper annoying, 366 00:13:57,967 --> 00:14:00,013 but you're always so nice with him. 367 00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:01,579 I think he's afraid if he buys a house, 368 00:14:01,623 --> 00:14:03,799 he'll never see you again.Really? 369 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,106 Wow, it's so painful keeping everything inside. 370 00:14:06,149 --> 00:14:07,237 It's how he was raised. 371 00:14:07,281 --> 00:14:08,673 No, my truss isn't working. 372 00:14:08,717 --> 00:14:10,110 I've got to schedule that procedure. 373 00:14:10,153 --> 00:14:11,502 Do you know where Pepper is? 374 00:14:11,546 --> 00:14:13,940 He has a special place he goes when he's sad. 375 00:14:13,983 --> 00:14:15,115 It's pretty gay. 376 00:14:15,158 --> 00:14:17,117 Have you ever seen the movie "La La Land"? 377 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,683 Of course. Wait, does he go to the bench 378 00:14:18,727 --> 00:14:20,685 overlooking the city where Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone 379 00:14:20,729 --> 00:14:21,904 tap danced into each other's hearts? 380 00:14:21,948 --> 00:14:24,472 That's not so gay. Okay. 381 00:14:24,515 --> 00:14:26,039 No, no, no, no, no, no. 382 00:14:26,082 --> 00:14:28,128 Take those things off, please. 383 00:14:28,171 --> 00:14:31,044 We need to talk about whatever's going on with you right now. 384 00:14:31,087 --> 00:14:33,524 I'm fine.No, you're not fine. 385 00:14:33,568 --> 00:14:35,091 You're sullen and aloof and -- 386 00:14:35,135 --> 00:14:37,528 and you embarrassed us in front of KimmyLoveandStu-- 387 00:14:37,572 --> 00:14:38,790 I can't say it again. I can't. 388 00:14:38,834 --> 00:14:41,924 Okay, we gave you every tween girl's dream day, 389 00:14:41,968 --> 00:14:44,492 and -- and you can barely crack a smile. 390 00:14:44,535 --> 00:14:47,103 It's not mydream day. It's yours. 391 00:14:47,147 --> 00:14:49,801 I'm not the same kind of tween girl you guys are. 392 00:14:49,845 --> 00:14:51,934 But we love all the same things. 393 00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:53,936 I've changed. I don't like Beyoncé. 394 00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:55,503 You take that back! 395 00:14:55,546 --> 00:14:56,591 Or Britney. 396 00:14:56,634 --> 00:14:58,158 Or Gaga. 397 00:14:58,201 --> 00:15:00,943 I only fake it 'cause you guys like that stuff. 398 00:15:00,987 --> 00:15:02,510 I'm different. 399 00:15:02,553 --> 00:15:04,338 Well, honey, is it -- 400 00:15:04,381 --> 00:15:06,340 is that why you've been feeling so down, because you -- 401 00:15:06,383 --> 00:15:08,037 you feel different than us? 402 00:15:08,081 --> 00:15:10,953 I don't know. I guess I feel different than a lot of people. 403 00:15:10,997 --> 00:15:13,303 Well, sweetie, that is one thing 404 00:15:13,347 --> 00:15:15,044 your dad and I can relate to. 405 00:15:15,088 --> 00:15:18,004 I guess, well, that's the great thing about having two gay dads. 406 00:15:18,047 --> 00:15:20,658 We -- We know what it feels like to be an outsider. 407 00:15:20,702 --> 00:15:22,095 Okay, but here's what happens. 408 00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:25,098 You start finding people who don't quite fit in, 409 00:15:25,141 --> 00:15:27,970 and you start not fitting in together. 410 00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:29,232 We never want you to feel like 411 00:15:29,276 --> 00:15:31,104 you have to be someone else for us. 412 00:15:31,147 --> 00:15:32,888 Never. I mean -- 413 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:35,108 What is this music you're always listening to? 414 00:15:35,151 --> 00:15:35,978 Come on. Let us in. Yeah. 415 00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:37,849 Okay. I like this. 416 00:15:37,893 --> 00:15:38,981 Okay. Let's put it on, huh? 417 00:15:39,025 --> 00:15:40,852 All right. Here we go. 418 00:15:40,896 --> 00:15:45,988 ♪ Where's your sanity?♪ 419 00:15:46,032 --> 00:15:46,989 Fun! Yeah. 420 00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:49,209 Yeah, yeah, I like it. 421 00:15:49,252 --> 00:15:51,515 She's gonna kill us someday.Mm-hmm. 422 00:15:53,169 --> 00:15:55,345 Hey. I just want to say, I really appreciate you 423 00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:57,695 wanting to save Stella like that. 424 00:15:57,739 --> 00:15:59,915 Well, Stella is not the only one that choose you. 425 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:03,875 I choose you every day, and I love her more than I show. 426 00:16:05,094 --> 00:16:07,053 Okay, sweetheart. Let's get you inside. 427 00:16:07,096 --> 00:16:09,185 I'll throw on a couple of steaks for both of us. 428 00:16:11,318 --> 00:16:12,058 What the hell dog is this? 429 00:16:12,101 --> 00:16:14,451 It's Stella. No, it's not. 430 00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:16,932 Eight years, you don't recognize our dog? 431 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:19,717 Well, 10 years, and you don't notice one haircut? 432 00:16:21,284 --> 00:16:24,157 By the time we got through to the vet, the surgery was over. 433 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:25,636 And Stella was fine. 434 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:27,638 I just have to say Gloria really stepped up 435 00:16:27,682 --> 00:16:29,640 and nursed my baby back to health. 436 00:16:29,684 --> 00:16:31,860 Only one problem. 437 00:16:31,903 --> 00:16:33,427 Stella choose me now. 438 00:16:33,470 --> 00:16:35,646 It's not real. You give her pain meds. 439 00:16:35,690 --> 00:16:38,214 It's like she's sucking up to her dealer. 440 00:16:38,258 --> 00:16:40,129 Hi, Bill. 441 00:16:40,173 --> 00:16:41,043 Hey. Come on in. 442 00:16:41,087 --> 00:16:43,654 Thanks. Is, uh, Mr. Dunphy around, too? 443 00:16:43,698 --> 00:16:46,092 Uh, no, he's probably on his way back, 444 00:16:46,135 --> 00:16:47,658 and we should definitely wait for him. 445 00:16:47,702 --> 00:16:49,443 Oh. I actually have to get to work pretty soon. 446 00:16:49,486 --> 00:16:51,314 Do you think maybe you could just speak for the both of you? 447 00:16:51,358 --> 00:16:54,317 Nope. Phil is very opinionated. 448 00:16:54,361 --> 00:16:57,320 And strict. "What I say goes around here." 449 00:16:57,364 --> 00:16:59,192 He's a very scary customer. 450 00:16:59,235 --> 00:17:01,629 Okay. I don't really have a choice here. 451 00:17:01,672 --> 00:17:04,936 Mm-hmm. 452 00:17:04,980 --> 00:17:06,938 Mr. and Mrs. Dunphy... 453 00:17:06,982 --> 00:17:09,941 would you be willing to take a chance on a guy like me 454 00:17:09,985 --> 00:17:12,292 and let me --Alex is too young to get married. 455 00:17:12,335 --> 00:17:14,729 I'm sorry. Phil, who is very quick to anger, 456 00:17:14,772 --> 00:17:15,947 would never allow it. 457 00:17:15,991 --> 00:17:18,167 Oh, I wasn't asking to marry Alex. 458 00:17:20,126 --> 00:17:22,128 What -- What's happening? 459 00:17:22,171 --> 00:17:24,086 And then it got weirder. 460 00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:25,653 Ladies and gentlemen...Hmm? 461 00:17:25,696 --> 00:17:28,221 ...I give you my new invention, 462 00:17:28,264 --> 00:17:32,094 the Pull-Yourself-Up- By-Your-Bootstraps-TM. 463 00:17:32,138 --> 00:17:33,748 How many times has this happened to you? 464 00:17:33,791 --> 00:17:35,315 You're in bed, asleep. 465 00:17:35,358 --> 00:17:36,968 All of a sudden... 466 00:17:37,012 --> 00:17:38,318 Oh, no. 467 00:17:38,361 --> 00:17:41,190 It's an earthquake. No time to get dressed. 468 00:17:41,234 --> 00:17:44,541 I'm gonna have to run out into the street naked again. 469 00:17:44,585 --> 00:17:46,761 Huh. Unless... 470 00:17:46,804 --> 00:17:48,197 Oh. 471 00:17:52,854 --> 00:17:54,160 And I'm out the door in seconds. 472 00:17:54,203 --> 00:17:56,162 Oh, okay.That's it? 473 00:17:56,205 --> 00:17:58,947 You didn't come to ask for my hand in marriage? 474 00:17:58,990 --> 00:18:00,688 Wh-- Of course not. 475 00:18:00,731 --> 00:18:01,689 What do you mean, "of course not"? 476 00:18:01,732 --> 00:18:02,907 What are we doing, Bill? 477 00:18:02,951 --> 00:18:04,126 Honey, take the win. 478 00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:05,736 Okay, first of all, 479 00:18:05,780 --> 00:18:08,174 you're a super smart, independent woman 480 00:18:08,217 --> 00:18:09,740 with an amazing future ahead of you. 481 00:18:09,784 --> 00:18:10,959 Why would you want to get married right now? 482 00:18:11,002 --> 00:18:12,178 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So, what were you doing 483 00:18:12,221 --> 00:18:13,309 in that jewelry store yesterday? 484 00:18:13,353 --> 00:18:15,311 I was getting a battery for my watch. 485 00:18:15,355 --> 00:18:17,922 How did you know I was in a jewelry store?And what about that text you s-- 486 00:18:17,966 --> 00:18:19,359 For what it's worth, 487 00:18:19,402 --> 00:18:21,491 if that's what I thought you wanted, I would propose today. 488 00:18:21,535 --> 00:18:24,364 Hmm.I'm pretty sure you're my forever someone. 489 00:18:24,407 --> 00:18:26,409 Really? 490 00:18:26,453 --> 00:18:28,498 Alexandra Dunphy... 491 00:18:28,542 --> 00:18:30,370 would you -- Mom! 492 00:18:30,413 --> 00:18:32,285 Okay, everybody up. All right. 493 00:18:32,328 --> 00:18:34,200 There we go. A lot of fires to put out. 494 00:18:34,243 --> 00:18:36,202 Next time, I'll get to the end. 495 00:18:36,245 --> 00:18:38,378 Next time, I might be ready. 496 00:18:38,421 --> 00:18:41,903 Ugh. Not a fan of liberated Alex. 497 00:18:43,774 --> 00:18:45,733 Ugh. 498 00:18:49,432 --> 00:18:51,304 Lovely night. 499 00:18:51,347 --> 00:18:53,175 What are you doing here? 500 00:18:53,219 --> 00:18:55,395 I called Ronaldo looking for you. 501 00:18:58,789 --> 00:19:00,748 I come to this place 502 00:19:00,791 --> 00:19:03,968 when life turns out not to be a musical. 503 00:19:04,012 --> 00:19:05,187 I'm up here a lot. 504 00:19:05,231 --> 00:19:07,189 I'm sorry I yelled at you. 505 00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:09,278 Well, Phil, you're not the first person 506 00:19:09,322 --> 00:19:11,280 to find me a tad trying. 507 00:19:11,324 --> 00:19:14,936 This may shock you, but I don't have many friends. 508 00:19:17,852 --> 00:19:19,810 Express some shock, Phil. 509 00:19:19,854 --> 00:19:21,812 But you have tons of friends. 510 00:19:21,856 --> 00:19:23,814 Mitch and Cam love you. 511 00:19:23,858 --> 00:19:27,470 Yeah, they're okay in small doses. 512 00:19:27,514 --> 00:19:29,820 And a straight-guy friend, never. 513 00:19:29,864 --> 00:19:32,475 A lot of straight guys find me... 514 00:19:32,519 --> 00:19:34,260 Annoying? Intimidating. 515 00:19:34,303 --> 00:19:37,480 Wait for me to finish. This isn't Mad Libs. 516 00:19:37,524 --> 00:19:39,830 Don't you believe that I like you, though, Pepper? 517 00:19:39,874 --> 00:19:42,268 I want to, but maybe I'm just a big, 518 00:19:42,311 --> 00:19:46,097 fat mother's purse to you. 519 00:19:46,141 --> 00:19:47,882 I'm your friend, Pepper 520 00:19:47,925 --> 00:19:49,231 What are you doing? 521 00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:52,103 This is a yellow suit! 522 00:19:52,147 --> 00:19:53,453 ♪ Till the end, Pepper 523 00:19:53,496 --> 00:19:55,455 You're making a scene! 524 00:19:55,498 --> 00:19:57,892 ♪ I know that old line 525 00:19:57,935 --> 00:20:02,897 ♪ But as soon as I sign, he'll toss me aside like ♪ 526 00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:05,116 ♪ Yesterday's wine 527 00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:08,119 ♪ My heart's on my sleeve 528 00:20:08,163 --> 00:20:10,905 ♪ I want to believe 529 00:20:10,948 --> 00:20:12,689 This is weird. We're people! 530 00:20:12,733 --> 00:20:13,864 Look. 531 00:20:13,908 --> 00:20:15,518 The only way you're ever gonna find out 532 00:20:15,562 --> 00:20:17,433 if we're friends is if you buy that house 533 00:20:17,477 --> 00:20:19,130 and see if I stick around. 534 00:20:19,174 --> 00:20:22,482 Seems like an expensive experiment. 535 00:20:22,525 --> 00:20:25,702 Sign the offer... if you love the house. 536 00:20:25,746 --> 00:20:27,356 Either that or fire me. 537 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:30,141 It's the only way you're gonna know. 538 00:20:35,886 --> 00:20:37,497 My heart is in your --I'll see you. 539 00:20:37,540 --> 00:20:39,281 I knew it. Assassin! 540 00:20:39,325 --> 00:20:41,283 I'm messing with you. 541 00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:43,285 That's what I do with my friends. 542 00:20:43,329 --> 00:20:46,288 Oh. I see. Delightful. 543 00:20:46,332 --> 00:20:48,638 I'm new at straight chummery. 544 00:20:53,556 --> 00:20:56,994 Stop checking your watch, Phil. 545 00:21:00,563 --> 00:21:02,739 Oh, no! 546 00:21:02,783 --> 00:21:04,437 It's the big one! 547 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,874 And I'm not dressed! 548 00:21:06,917 --> 00:21:09,311 Grab the earthquake kit! 549 00:21:09,355 --> 00:21:12,662 Everybody, get under a table! 550 00:21:12,706 --> 00:21:16,318 There's cash in the freezer! 551 00:21:19,016 --> 00:21:22,193 Honey, we got to get in on this. 552 00:21:22,237 --> 00:21:24,500 Ah. My high-school boyfriend could have used that. 553 00:21:24,544 --> 00:21:26,807 You ruined it.