1 00:00:02,070 --> 00:00:04,305 [ To tune of "Danny Boy" ] * Oh, Super Bowl 2 00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:08,142 * The plays, the plays, they're calling * 3 00:00:08,176 --> 00:00:11,312 * From end to end 4 00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:12,313 * And -- 5 00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,482 Oh! Gloria: What happened? 6 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:17,318 Do I call the nine and the one and the other one? 7 00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:20,488 Why is my fridge filled with non-football-related foods 8 00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:21,589 on Super Bowl Sunday? 9 00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:23,424 There's no room for my Jerry Rice pudding. 10 00:00:23,457 --> 00:00:24,925 Haley's baby shower is today. 11 00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:26,760 I cleared it with you, like, a month ago. 12 00:00:26,794 --> 00:00:28,396 Can't you just record the game? 13 00:00:28,429 --> 00:00:29,830 And what? Watch it tomorrow morning? 14 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:32,766 Look. There's no reason a football game and a baby shower 15 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:34,235 can't co-exist under the same roof. 16 00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:35,236 [ Sighs ] Maybe you won't get in my way. 17 00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:37,238 Baby showers are pretty tame. 18 00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:40,941 Who's ready for a baby show-ahhh?! 19 00:00:40,974 --> 00:00:42,009 Ha! 20 00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:55,789 Mmm. 21 00:00:58,292 --> 00:01:01,695 I'm making White Russians for the baby show-ahhh. 22 00:01:01,729 --> 00:01:04,598 A little liquid courage makes all the naughty games better. 23 00:01:04,632 --> 00:01:07,801 I think you're mixing up baby shower with bridal shower. 24 00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:10,037 Well, my bridal shower did take place when I was pregnant. 25 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,372 The cops even showed up. 26 00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:13,040 Of course, they weren't real cops. 27 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:15,376 [ Laughing ] One of them rubbed his butt against my belly. 28 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:16,577 Don't tell Haley. 29 00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:18,379 Or how about, "Don't tell Alex"? Mm. 30 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:20,881 [ Door opens ] Super Bowl squares here! 31 00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:22,583 Get your Super Bowl squares! 32 00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:24,051 No. Not this again. 33 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,653 Uh, actually, we've made some refinements. 34 00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:27,388 Last year, the price was a little high. 35 00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:28,622 The year before, too low. 36 00:01:28,656 --> 00:01:31,259 So this year, we've landed on the perfect number. 37 00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:33,227 $3.75 per square. 38 00:01:33,261 --> 00:01:34,728 I'll do what I did last year. 39 00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:37,165 Give me 11 squares. -Okay. Easy enough. 40 00:01:37,198 --> 00:01:40,067 -Um... -Uh... 41 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:43,337 No. No Super Bowl math on the baby shower side. 42 00:01:43,371 --> 00:01:44,938 Go over there. 43 00:01:44,972 --> 00:01:47,074 I'm telling you, you look cute. 44 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:49,510 You know what's not cute? Lying to me. 45 00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:51,645 This gets better once they come out, right? 46 00:01:51,679 --> 00:01:54,114 What happened? Well, my last pair of jeans exploded, 47 00:01:54,148 --> 00:01:56,484 I can't wear skirts because my thighs are growing hair 48 00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:57,785 faster than I can shave it, 49 00:01:57,818 --> 00:02:00,087 so I'm wearing ski pants to my own baby shower. 50 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,856 I'm telling you, no one's even gonna notice. Oh... 51 00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:05,193 [ Swishing ] 52 00:02:05,226 --> 00:02:08,196 What's that sound? It's like when the doors on the starship Enterprise open. 53 00:02:08,229 --> 00:02:10,298 Hey, you guys want to buy a Super Bowl square? 54 00:02:10,331 --> 00:02:11,599 Only $3.75. 55 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,167 Dylan: Cool. Can I take three squares? 56 00:02:13,201 --> 00:02:14,768 Yeah, I need something good today, too. 57 00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:16,604 We'll split five squares. 58 00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:18,606 Uh...do you have quarters? 59 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:19,807 Dylan: Oh, I don't carry change 60 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,942 since the last time I got struck by lightning. 61 00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,577 [ Door opens ] 62 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:26,980 Hello, Phillip. 63 00:02:27,014 --> 00:02:28,616 Hello, Manuel. 64 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,117 Against my better judgment, 65 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,386 I wrote a part for Phil in my new movie. 66 00:02:32,420 --> 00:02:35,122 Things got heated, words were exchanged, 67 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:38,025 which is surprising, considering he had a mouthful of scenery. 68 00:02:38,058 --> 00:02:39,327 [ Scoffs ] Actors. 69 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,662 Writers. They think they're so great. 70 00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:43,464 "Oh, my words are so precious." 71 00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:44,998 Try listening for once. 72 00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:47,735 Maybe you'll learn how humans actually talk. 73 00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:49,970 Wait, is it -- is it "talk" or "speak"? 74 00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:51,472 Oh, that's right. 75 00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,241 No one cares! 76 00:02:53,274 --> 00:02:56,310 Hello, hello. I'm here for the Super Bowl. 77 00:02:56,344 --> 00:02:57,978 And I am here for the baby shower. Okay, yep. 78 00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,047 [ Door closes ] I'm here for some sort of punishment, I think. 79 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,716 Hmm. Lily and her friend, Christina, got into a huge fight. 80 00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:05,886 And I was hoping we could have the girls sit down and talk it out. 81 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:07,821 But Mitchell said "no," Christina's in the wrong. 82 00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:10,224 And apparently, Mitchell's the law. 83 00:03:10,258 --> 00:03:13,661 He is. Lily, you're very lucky to have such a wise papa. 84 00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:17,097 Mm-hmm. Assistant District Attorney Pritchett is a hero. 85 00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:19,433 Huh. So this one thinks you're cool now? 86 00:03:19,467 --> 00:03:21,669 Okay, Gloria loves crime stories, 87 00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,271 especially women who kill their husbands. 88 00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:26,740 And I recently prosecuted the Bel Air Black Widow. 89 00:03:26,774 --> 00:03:28,609 She came to court every single day. 90 00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:31,445 We find the defendant guilty. 91 00:03:31,479 --> 00:03:33,514 Yes! Whoop, whoop! 92 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:36,250 Hey, Counselor. This isn't over. 93 00:03:36,284 --> 00:03:38,185 Lady, you're like me in high school, 94 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,521 cause you ain't gonna be coming out for 17 years! 95 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:42,923 Gloria: Boom goes the dynamite! 96 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:47,561 Cam, have a bowl of my famous chili. 97 00:03:47,595 --> 00:03:49,763 I didn't know you made chili. 98 00:03:49,797 --> 00:03:51,699 I know all about Jay's damn chili. 99 00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:54,201 We talked about it last year on this very day. 100 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,936 [ Voice breaking ] Promises were made. 101 00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:58,105 [ Crowd cheering ] Next year, I'm getting you your own football chair 102 00:03:58,138 --> 00:04:00,207 and you're gonna help me make my famous chili. 103 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,742 5:00 a.m. 104 00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:04,645 Be there or be square. 105 00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:06,880 You know, I never entirely felt Jay's approval, 106 00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:08,549 so this was a big step for us. 107 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:09,750 I counted the days. 108 00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:11,051 Then Super Bowl Eve, 109 00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,421 I went and I bought the finest chili thickeners -- 110 00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:15,589 corn flour and potato flour. 111 00:04:15,623 --> 00:04:18,058 And I showed up an hour before dawn. 112 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:21,729 I called Jay's cell as to not startle Gloria. 113 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,163 Jay: [ Yawning ] Hey, what's up? 114 00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:25,833 He had no idea why I was calling. 115 00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:28,636 Clearly promises made didn't mean as much to him. 116 00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:30,103 But I couldn't let him know that. 117 00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:32,272 Oh, uh, Jay, is th-- is that you? 118 00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:34,908 I-I must -- I must've butt-dialed you. 119 00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:36,410 Why else would I be calling you so early... 120 00:04:36,444 --> 00:04:38,312 [ Voice breaking ] ...on a regular Sunday morning? 121 00:04:38,346 --> 00:04:39,580 Sorry. [ Cellphone beeps ] 122 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,081 I felt like a jilted lover 123 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:45,819 standing on his porch, holding those beautiful flours. 124 00:04:45,853 --> 00:04:49,156 -Oh. -You can't hide in here all day. 125 00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:50,491 To me, you've never been hotter, 126 00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:52,326 and I've seen you hitchhike in a bikini. 127 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:53,527 There you are. 128 00:04:53,561 --> 00:04:55,429 I'm sorry you're having a bad day, uh... 129 00:04:55,463 --> 00:04:59,032 but I thought you should know, I invited Danielle. 130 00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:01,502 Danielle? Ugh, she's so annoying. 131 00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:04,304 Everything she says [as Danielle] sounds like a question? 132 00:05:04,338 --> 00:05:05,606 But it's not? 133 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,307 Yeah, but she's in her, like, 134 00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:09,610 thousandth month of pregnancy. 135 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:10,778 Oh, my God. 136 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:12,179 That means I won't be the grossest preggo here. 137 00:05:12,212 --> 00:05:14,948 Bless you. Oh. 138 00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:16,484 Thanks. 139 00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:18,285 And thanks for inviting me today. 140 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,320 Of course. You're the baby's father. 141 00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:21,855 Yeah, but it's a family thing, 142 00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:23,691 and I don't always feel like I belong. 143 00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:25,325 Sometimes they look at me like 144 00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:26,960 the proverbial bird in the punch bowl. 145 00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:27,961 [ Chuckles ] 146 00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:29,963 Almost. 147 00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:31,732 Luke: Uh, three times... 148 00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:33,467 I'm sorry, but every way you look at it, 149 00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:34,868 Dylan comes up short. 150 00:05:34,902 --> 00:05:37,337 And Haley's totally getting rooked. 151 00:05:37,371 --> 00:05:39,339 Oh! Okay, well, that's interesting. 152 00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:42,142 Um, they lost track of the Black Widow at the county jail. 153 00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:44,211 -She escaped? -Mm-hmm. 154 00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:46,313 Are you scared? What?! 155 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,915 Exactly! 156 00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:49,650 She should be scared of you. -Mm. 157 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:53,253 If she's smart, that young lady will run and keep running. 158 00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:55,656 Mm-hmm. 159 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:58,258 [ Smacking lips ] What spice is in here? 160 00:05:58,291 --> 00:05:59,893 Is it -- Is that dill? 161 00:05:59,927 --> 00:06:01,194 Why the hell is dill in here? 162 00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:02,963 It's a -- It's a catastrophe. 163 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:11,004 So, I'm just gonna repurpose some of this hair 164 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:13,006 to cover the bald spot and zits -- 165 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:16,677 Zits?! And "zits" gonna look amazing. 166 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,178 Ta da! 167 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:19,680 -Ta da?! -Yeah. 168 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,682 I have a huge gut and a comb-over. 169 00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:23,917 I look like a divorced dentist. 170 00:06:23,951 --> 00:06:25,553 [ Doorbell rings ] 171 00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:27,054 Oh, Danielle! 172 00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:29,356 You look so good. Why? 173 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:32,225 It's the magic of pregnancy? #Blessed? 174 00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:34,628 What the hell?! 175 00:06:34,662 --> 00:06:36,029 Alex said it was okay if I came early? 176 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:39,099 Haley, I'm so happy for you? 177 00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:40,400 I need Dylan. Where is Dylan? 178 00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:41,835 Where's Dylan? 179 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:45,205 Haley's not gonna find Dylan. 180 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,273 He's gone, 181 00:06:46,306 --> 00:06:48,341 and it's everybody's fault! 182 00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:52,212 What is up with all the funeral faces? 183 00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,614 Come on, people, this is supposed to be 184 00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:55,415 a baby show-ahhh. Don't say "show-ahhh". 185 00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:56,950 Nobody wants it. 186 00:06:59,319 --> 00:07:01,622 Okay. So, Dylan misunderstood 187 00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:04,124 a bunch of the things he heard us say, got upset, and ran off. 188 00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:06,226 Let's not pretend this was some mistake 189 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,328 or Dylan being oversensitive. 190 00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:09,730 We've all given him plenty of reasons 191 00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,398 to feel unwelcome in this family. 192 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,901 And some of us do have a meanness. 193 00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:16,804 I'll leave it at that. A monstrous cruelty. 194 00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:18,739 Enough said. Sadistic. 195 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:19,973 My family is really chill? 196 00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:21,509 [ Scoffs ] You were a mistake. 197 00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:23,577 Okay, Haley's being occupied by Luke, 198 00:07:23,611 --> 00:07:24,812 so we have some time. 199 00:07:24,845 --> 00:07:26,079 We just have to find Dylan 200 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,415 without letting Haley know he's run away. 201 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,350 That kind of sounds like a shower problem, though. 202 00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:31,619 I don't know how fair it is to bring in 203 00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:33,420 the Super Bowl folk into this. Hey! 204 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:37,424 My big sister gave me the honor of hosting her shower, 205 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,593 and it's gonna be great. 206 00:07:39,627 --> 00:07:41,261 So, the one person 207 00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:42,963 who might know where Dylan went, Haley, 208 00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:45,265 is the one person who can't know he's missing. 209 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,934 That's what I call a dramatic situation. 210 00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,101 [ Chuckles ] 211 00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:50,838 Shouldn't you be directing the life out of it? 212 00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:52,773 Joe, where does Dylan like to go when he's depressed? 213 00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:55,609 Alex, he likes him, but it's not like -- 214 00:07:55,643 --> 00:07:57,077 Park, pet store, guitar shop. 215 00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,180 What? I follow his Instagram. 216 00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:02,783 He finds beauty in the mundane. 217 00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:04,451 Okay. We'll search for Dylan in teams. 218 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,520 Mitch, Gloria -- park. -Score. 219 00:08:06,554 --> 00:08:08,689 -Guitar store -- Cam, Jay. -Um... 220 00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:10,791 And the pet store -- Phil, Manny, go. 221 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:12,492 Actually, could I trade? Your pretty face 222 00:08:12,526 --> 00:08:14,695 for one that's been freshly whooped? Try me! 223 00:08:14,728 --> 00:08:16,063 Would it be possible if I could -- 224 00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:18,165 Move! Ah, they'll have a bathroom at the store. 225 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,804 He's not stuck in the tube slide. 226 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,172 Ah, it was too much to hope he'd be 227 00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:27,174 where we found him when Mister Rogers died. 228 00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:29,509 [ Cellphone chimes ] Oh. 229 00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:31,211 [ Chuckles ] "You messed with the wrong girl. 230 00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:32,312 I'm coming for you." 231 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:33,380 Who is this? 232 00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:34,648 310. 233 00:08:34,682 --> 00:08:37,250 That's Bel Air. 234 00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:40,420 The Black Widow is out and already threatening you? 235 00:08:40,453 --> 00:08:41,488 This is good. 236 00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:44,057 You get to catch her and be a hero again. 237 00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:46,493 You know, maybe I should -- I should send the Black Widow 238 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,495 a -- a "no hard feelings" text. 239 00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:49,663 -No. -No? 240 00:08:49,697 --> 00:08:51,164 What you said in court was right. 241 00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:53,500 That animal deserved no mercy. 242 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,102 She deserves a cage. 243 00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:57,671 Well, you know, I said some things, she said some things. 244 00:08:57,705 --> 00:08:58,772 It's -- Wait, um... 245 00:08:58,806 --> 00:09:00,674 "I am not afraid. 246 00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:03,043 Bring it on." I -- Oh, okay. 247 00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:05,178 All bullies are the same. 248 00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:06,580 They act like they're tough, 249 00:09:06,614 --> 00:09:08,882 but when you punch 'em in the nose, they back down. 250 00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:10,317 Yeah. [ Chuckles ] [ Cellphone chimes ] 251 00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,021 "I know where you live. 252 00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,288 You're dead." 253 00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:17,290 That response is rare. 254 00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,195 There he is. 255 00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:23,363 Dylan. 256 00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,699 Hey, Dylan! 257 00:09:25,733 --> 00:09:27,134 Oh, sorry. 258 00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:30,203 That's the third time I've made that exact same mistake. 259 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,205 Makes me wonder about some of my dates in 'Nam. 260 00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:34,775 Well, he ain't here. Let's go. 261 00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:38,245 My famous chili has been simmering since 5:00 a.m. 262 00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:39,947 Y-You know, it is funny 263 00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:41,782 that you keep calling your chili "famous" 264 00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:44,051 when I find it a little... 265 00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,953 forgettable. 266 00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:47,721 Cam, I'm a successful man. 267 00:09:47,755 --> 00:09:49,422 Captain of industry, 268 00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:50,924 made out with a Gabor sister, 269 00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:53,727 and if I can swing a few more board votes, 270 00:09:53,761 --> 00:09:55,095 we break ground on 271 00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:58,766 the Pritchett School of Closet Science at Ohio State. 272 00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:01,334 Not really sweating your take on my chili. 273 00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:03,637 He'd hurt me deeply. 274 00:10:03,671 --> 00:10:05,639 I kept mentioning chili 'cause, you know, 275 00:10:05,673 --> 00:10:07,107 I was trying to jog his memory, 276 00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:09,276 'cause we were supposed to make it together. 277 00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:12,813 I've waited my whole life for a special Super Bowl buddy, 278 00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:15,448 someone who understands it isn't just a game. 279 00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:19,586 It's a 15-hour, 4-meal, 2-shirt, 1-nap experience, 280 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:22,022 and I thought Cam could be that buddy. 281 00:10:22,055 --> 00:10:24,091 Then I started worrying 282 00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:26,760 Cam might forget a date we set a year ago. 283 00:10:26,794 --> 00:10:29,096 [ Cellphone ringing ] 284 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,764 [ Whispering ] He remembered. 285 00:10:30,798 --> 00:10:33,433 He remembered, Stella! 286 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,969 Be cool. [ Cellphone beeps ] 287 00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:37,370 Hey, what's up? 288 00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:40,540 Oh, butt-dial. 289 00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:42,309 No, I see. 290 00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:44,511 Yeah, take it easy. [ Cellphone beeps ] 291 00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:45,746 [ Cellphone slams ] 292 00:10:54,722 --> 00:10:56,790 Nose print, man's -- face high, 293 00:10:56,824 --> 00:10:58,625 direct eye-line to baby bunnies. 294 00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,360 Dylan was here. 295 00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:01,628 This guy's about to have a kid. 296 00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,797 What kind of adult male -- -They're waking up. 297 00:11:03,831 --> 00:11:05,032 [ Laughing ] They're waking up. 298 00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:07,500 -[ Laughs ] -Hey, look, he's not here. 299 00:11:07,534 --> 00:11:09,169 Let's just get back to the parties. 300 00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:12,740 Ooh, I got to stop at that laundromat across the street. 301 00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:14,474 It'll take a second. I just need change for my squares. 302 00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,810 Funny. You're so focused when it's your passion project. 303 00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:18,812 Y-You know what, Manny? 304 00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:19,847 You're right. 305 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:22,582 That whole thing was my bad. 306 00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:25,085 Thanks, Phil. 307 00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:28,421 Let me get both these doors so you and your ego can fit inside. 308 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,325 I don't know how you can get mad at me 309 00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:33,693 after posting that humiliating video. 310 00:11:33,727 --> 00:11:34,995 What video? 311 00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:35,996 Don't play dumb. 312 00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:37,497 [ Cellphone beeps ] 313 00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:40,133 -Me cold. -Cut! 314 00:11:41,869 --> 00:11:43,270 "I'm so cold." 315 00:11:43,303 --> 00:11:46,273 Not "Me cold." Not "I'm not not cold." 316 00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:47,775 Not "Ice, ice baby." 317 00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:49,576 No humans say those things! 318 00:11:49,609 --> 00:11:52,545 It is so difficult to build a performance 319 00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:54,915 with a constant barrage of notes! 320 00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:57,117 Note! Say the line! 321 00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:58,518 Three words! 322 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,120 You know what three words I'd like to hear? 323 00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:02,189 "Nice death, Phil!" 324 00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,524 I'm just trying to [bleep] help you, 325 00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,760 you [bleep] diva [bleep]! 326 00:12:06,794 --> 00:12:09,262 And you keep [bleep] yourself. 327 00:12:09,296 --> 00:12:12,732 Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! 328 00:12:12,766 --> 00:12:14,234 Unbelievable! 329 00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:22,075 Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! 330 00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:24,711 Fortunately, it cut off right before I really lost it. 331 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:29,082 Manny, why would I post a video calling myself a "terrible actor"? 332 00:12:29,116 --> 00:12:31,384 Huh. 333 00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:32,986 Could've been my editor. 334 00:12:33,020 --> 00:12:35,322 During a particularly intense creative discussion, 335 00:12:35,355 --> 00:12:38,058 I may have slapped him in front of his girlfriend. 336 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,459 Phil, I'm sorry. 337 00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:41,561 I think the reason I got frustrated 338 00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:44,231 is only partly due to your infuriating incompetence. 339 00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,666 [ Laughing ] Was that so hard? 340 00:12:46,699 --> 00:12:48,068 Between us, I've applied to transfer 341 00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:50,237 to somewhere I can major in accounting or law. 342 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,939 Something safe. 343 00:12:51,972 --> 00:12:52,973 I've started to question 344 00:12:53,006 --> 00:12:56,243 if I have any talent as a filmmaker. 345 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,845 Let's find out. 346 00:12:57,878 --> 00:12:58,912 You got your film with you? 347 00:12:58,946 --> 00:12:59,980 On my phone. 348 00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:02,115 We have a perfect test audience. 349 00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:03,783 Take a chance. Let's, uh... 350 00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:05,352 Let's see what you got. 351 00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:07,821 Okay. I mean, I got my projector. 352 00:13:07,855 --> 00:13:08,989 And a screen. 353 00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:10,657 -All right. I'll set it up. -Great. 354 00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:12,926 Meanwhile, I'll warm up the crowd with a magic trick. 355 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,028 Excuse me. 356 00:13:15,062 --> 00:13:17,597 I need everyone to put their wallets in this pillow case 357 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,499 and turn and face the wall. 358 00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,603 Well, that's it. No one knows where Dylan is. 359 00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:24,938 They better. 360 00:13:24,972 --> 00:13:26,773 Her friends are gonna be here in 20 minutes -- 361 00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,775 the same ones who at a graduation party 362 00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:31,044 voted her most likely to be pregnant and alone. 363 00:13:31,078 --> 00:13:32,679 -Hmm. -Like I always say -- 364 00:13:32,712 --> 00:13:35,115 it's better to have no friends than mean friends. 365 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,984 Well... 366 00:13:37,017 --> 00:13:39,286 Dylan's always been a runner. 367 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,721 [ Gasps ] God, you remember when he was a blond? 368 00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:44,191 Ugh, I called him "Lady Dye-Job" 369 00:13:44,224 --> 00:13:46,994 and he ran off, and I had to track him down... 370 00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:49,096 I know where Dylan is. I know where he is! 371 00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:53,533 Dylan. 372 00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:55,402 Hey, Dylan, open up. It's Claire. 373 00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:57,237 Dylan: I -- I don't want to talk, Mrs. D. 374 00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:58,838 Look, I realize you're upset. 375 00:13:58,872 --> 00:14:00,740 But those things that Cam and Mitch 376 00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:02,475 and Luke and Phil and Gloria said, 377 00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:05,312 they're -- they were just, uh, silly misunderstandings. 378 00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:06,980 Okay. 379 00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:09,216 But what about what you said? 380 00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:11,051 You realize we're gonna have to baby-proof 381 00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:12,852 all the cabinets at home, right? 382 00:14:12,886 --> 00:14:13,987 Think of how cute it'll be 383 00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:15,688 watching Dylan try to get into them. 384 00:14:15,722 --> 00:14:19,159 [ Both laugh ] 385 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,261 I shouldn't have said that, 386 00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:23,063 and I obviously didn't realize -- 387 00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:25,065 What? That I would get that joke? 388 00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:26,666 The insult set it up, Mrs. D. 389 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:29,402 "Lady Dye-Job" has feelings. Oh, Dylan. 390 00:14:29,436 --> 00:14:32,505 Dylan, come on. Honey, the party is starting -- 391 00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:36,376 [ Sighs ] Please. I -- I'm sorry. 392 00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:37,577 I'm leaving. 393 00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:40,780 [ Stomping ] 394 00:14:40,813 --> 00:14:41,915 [ Knocking on van ] 395 00:14:41,949 --> 00:14:43,416 [ Deeper voice ] Open up. It's Mr. Gonzales, 396 00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:45,052 the parking attendant. 397 00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:46,686 I'm not an idiot, Mrs. D. 398 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,721 I know you just went to get Mr. Gonzales 399 00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:51,558 so you could run in here when I open the door for him. 400 00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:06,573 [ Quietly ] Hey. 401 00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:08,241 Hey. Hey, Dylan? 402 00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:09,442 Dylan? Dyl-- 403 00:15:09,476 --> 00:15:10,610 Ohh, damn it! 404 00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:15,215 Can we hurry? I want to get back so I can apologize to Christina. 405 00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:17,250 Oh, no. Lily, why risk your heart? 406 00:15:17,284 --> 00:15:18,718 Christina will just hurt you. 407 00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:19,987 I couldn't agree more, Lily. 408 00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:22,589 If Christina doesn't appreciate your warmth, your humor, 409 00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:23,991 your great stories, 410 00:15:24,024 --> 00:15:25,325 she's just not worth it. 411 00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:27,260 Oh, maybe she'll regret taking you for granted 412 00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:29,662 when she's old and alone in that big house 413 00:15:29,696 --> 00:15:33,333 and realizes all that money can't keep her warm. 414 00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:35,235 What is happening? 415 00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:37,270 Movies in a laundromat now? 416 00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:40,407 Can't hipsters just let a thing be a thing? 417 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:43,743 [ Russian accent ] There is much I wish to say to you, Alexei, 418 00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:46,479 not just now, but for long time. 419 00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:50,417 How could one slight cost 20 years friendship? 420 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:54,254 Silly 19th century Russian pride? 421 00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:57,490 Why we not have courage to take chance on love? 422 00:15:57,524 --> 00:15:59,259 Fools, us humans. 423 00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:00,493 Alexei: It's not too late. 424 00:16:00,527 --> 00:16:01,694 It is for me, 425 00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:03,530 my great, great friend. 426 00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:05,999 I go now to grand Kremlin in the sky. 427 00:16:06,033 --> 00:16:08,768 [ Breathing heavily ] 428 00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,170 It's chilly. 429 00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:12,605 Chili. 430 00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:14,774 Why did he have to mention that? 431 00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:17,310 We were supposed to cook together this morning, Cam. 432 00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:18,611 I waited for you. 433 00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:20,713 But I was there on your front porch with flours. 434 00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:21,948 You remembered the thickeners? 435 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,816 Of course I did. I thought you forgot. 436 00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:27,154 I have an identical one for you! 437 00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:28,855 [ Voice breaking ] Oh, Jay, you don't know how much this means to me! 438 00:16:28,888 --> 00:16:31,224 Lily, you -- you have to apologize to Christina. 439 00:16:31,258 --> 00:16:32,325 That's right. 440 00:16:32,359 --> 00:16:34,527 Don't be like me and Cam and Sergei and Alexei. 441 00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:36,463 Pride is poison! -Yes, open your heart! 442 00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,298 Let yourself love! 443 00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:39,966 Jay... 444 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,701 So, nobody's wondering why Uncle Phil 445 00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:43,836 is starring in a laundromat movie? 446 00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:46,639 [ Exhales deeply ] 447 00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:49,142 N-No-o-o-o! 448 00:16:49,176 --> 00:16:51,010 [ Russian music plays ] 449 00:16:51,044 --> 00:16:58,985 ** 450 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:04,057 [ Scattered applause ] 451 00:17:04,091 --> 00:17:05,192 [ Sighs ] 452 00:17:05,225 --> 00:17:06,526 So? 453 00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:07,760 It's... 454 00:17:07,794 --> 00:17:09,196 not very good. 455 00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:11,264 [ Exhales sharply ] I knew it. I wasted my time. 456 00:17:11,298 --> 00:17:13,366 But it's much better than the last one, 457 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,235 and there was one moment when Count Ivanovich was -- 458 00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:17,170 was playing chess with the bear that really moved me. 459 00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:18,171 Well, that was supposed to be 460 00:17:18,205 --> 00:17:19,839 the emotional gestalt of the piece. 461 00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:21,441 You can hear me stifle a sob in the cut 462 00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:23,376 because my boom operator was undermining me. 463 00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:26,346 You had an astonishingly toxic set. 464 00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:27,914 Listen, Manny, if I was your dad, 465 00:17:27,947 --> 00:17:29,616 I might tell you to play it safe with your career. 466 00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:31,017 But as a fan, 467 00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,919 I'm dying to see what you come up with next. 468 00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:34,554 -Really? -Yeah. 469 00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:36,756 I've been watching you make up stories since you were this big. 470 00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:38,024 I want to see how it ends. 471 00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,126 Not that. 472 00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:42,362 I-I want to see how this ends. 473 00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:43,863 Thanks, Phil. 474 00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:45,532 I would like to keep trying, 475 00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:47,033 maybe something not so commercial. 476 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,935 That's great. 477 00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:51,704 I do think it's the end of the road for me as a thespian, though. 478 00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:53,206 Probably best. [ Chuckles ] 479 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:55,908 Well, I did have a part in my next film for a guy your age, 480 00:17:55,942 --> 00:17:58,545 but you'd have to grow a Fu Manchu moustache 481 00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:00,147 and gain 40 pounds in two weeks. 482 00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:02,048 I'll be ready Tuesday. 483 00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:03,816 -Cilantro. -Yes. 484 00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:06,253 -Diced red onion? -You are good. 485 00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:07,720 Hey, don't run away with the rest of that. 486 00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:10,223 -Ugh, what am I looking at? -Mmm. 487 00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:14,394 Mitch, come here. Show them how to be a real man. [ Chuckles ] 488 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:17,397 He has been getting threatening texts all day 489 00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:21,834 from a fugitive, and he hasn't even flinched. 490 00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:23,470 Well, they're lucky they're pretty, right? 491 00:18:23,503 --> 00:18:24,604 [ Chuckles ] 492 00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:26,839 Daddy, can I borrow your phone? 493 00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:29,176 I want to apologize to Christina. 494 00:18:29,209 --> 00:18:31,611 Lily, no. His phone might be evidence 495 00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:34,414 in a murder trial. -Whose? 496 00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:37,417 Sweetie, have you been using Daddy's phone to text your friend? 497 00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:38,918 Yeah, and I said some mean stuff. 498 00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:41,588 She's probably been texting me back. 499 00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:44,291 [ Cellphone dings ] My God. Okay, okay. 500 00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:46,159 "I'm -- I'm right outside your house. 501 00:18:46,193 --> 00:18:47,327 This ends now." 502 00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,028 [ Cellphone dings ] Oh! 503 00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:50,330 "P.S., your hair's ugly." 504 00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:52,699 It's a bluff. She's not out there. 505 00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:54,701 I mean, if you want to go check, check. 506 00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:57,270 You know, us weaklings would feel so much better 507 00:18:57,304 --> 00:18:59,772 if you would just take a quick look. Please. 508 00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:01,774 Well, as -- as lawman and protector, 509 00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:04,911 that is something that I -- I can do. 510 00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:11,784 -Hey. -Ohh! 511 00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:13,453 [ Both screaming ] 512 00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:15,788 [ Breathing rapidly, squeaking ] 513 00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:18,057 Thank you for this, Dylan, 514 00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:20,360 and I appreciate you forgiving me 515 00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:22,562 for the dumb thing I said earlier. 516 00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:23,630 Who said I forgave you? 517 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:24,964 I'm only treating your injury 518 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:28,134 because you're a guest in my home. 519 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,569 I know it may seem 520 00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:31,404 that I haven't always accepted you, 521 00:19:31,438 --> 00:19:33,139 but when I met you, 522 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,174 you were an 18-year-old in a leather jacket 523 00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:37,477 dating my 15-year-old daughter. 524 00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:38,545 I get it. 525 00:19:38,578 --> 00:19:39,979 You were trying to protect your daughter 526 00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:40,980 from a guy like me, 527 00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:42,148 but I haven't been a guy like me 528 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:43,583 for a long time. [ Sighs ] 529 00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:44,651 Bend for me. 530 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:45,718 It's hard, Dylan. 531 00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:48,087 I have been a mama bear for so long... 532 00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:50,490 No, your elbow. Oh. 533 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,859 [ Quietly ] Okay. 534 00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:55,027 It's j-- It's all happening so fast. 535 00:19:55,061 --> 00:19:56,529 But it is happening. 536 00:19:56,563 --> 00:19:59,832 I'm about to be the father to your grandbabies. 537 00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:01,601 Reach out a little. 538 00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:03,002 I meant emotionally. 539 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:04,170 Oh. 540 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,572 I can look myself in the mirror 541 00:20:05,605 --> 00:20:07,039 and know that I've tried my hardest 542 00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:09,008 to make our relationship work. 543 00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:10,877 Can you do the same? 544 00:20:12,279 --> 00:20:14,681 Go ahead. 545 00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:16,549 Here, let me give you some light. 546 00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:17,717 [ Clicks ] 547 00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:19,018 Oops, uh, not that one. [ Clicks ] 548 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:21,388 No. 549 00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:23,590 Claire: There are a lot of ways for a family to grow... 550 00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:27,527 Both: Touchdown! 551 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,363 Claire: ...finding interests you didn't know you shared... [ Gasps ] 552 00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:32,031 -Eh... -Come on, I've got two weeks! 553 00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:33,733 Blur your eyes. Look at this. 554 00:20:33,766 --> 00:20:38,037 Claire: ...finding new challenges to embark on together... 555 00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:39,539 But it takes a lot of work. 556 00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:40,907 [ Laughter ] 557 00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:45,712 The best way for families to grow is by adding to them. 558 00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:50,383 So this is to the newest members of our family. 559 00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:54,387 I look forward to getting to know all of you. 560 00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:55,221 -Love you. -Cheers. 561 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:56,289 [ Overlapping cheers ] 562 00:21:00,159 --> 00:21:03,796 I'm...f-f -- f-freezing. 563 00:21:03,830 --> 00:21:06,265 Manny: Cut! [ Beep ] 564 00:21:06,299 --> 00:21:07,900 Could it be any colder? 565 00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:09,569 No! [ Beep ] 566 00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:10,970 [ Shivers ] 567 00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:12,839 Fur hat weather, no? 568 00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:13,906 No! [ Beep ] 569 00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:15,475 "I'm so cold." 570 00:21:15,508 --> 00:21:16,909 "I'm so cold." 571 00:21:16,943 --> 00:21:19,412 "I'm so cold!" And action. 572 00:21:19,446 --> 00:21:21,681 [ Shivers ] 573 00:21:21,714 --> 00:21:24,116 Um...brr, am I right? 574 00:21:24,150 --> 00:21:26,118 You've got to be kidding me.