1 00:00:22,152 --> 00:00:24,372 No mail. Again. 2 00:00:25,460 --> 00:00:27,418 Hey, Portal, call Dad. 3 00:00:29,899 --> 00:00:31,292 ♪ When the rates fall 4 00:00:31,335 --> 00:00:33,337 ♪ They will refi 5 00:00:33,381 --> 00:00:37,298 ♪ And that'sthe Realtor's lullaby ♪ 6 00:00:37,341 --> 00:00:40,170 George, please! 7 00:00:40,214 --> 00:00:42,085 Why are they still crying? 8 00:00:42,129 --> 00:00:44,131 Do you think they know they're chubby? 9 00:00:44,174 --> 00:00:45,349 It took us a while, 10 00:00:45,393 --> 00:00:47,177 but we finally named our babies. 11 00:00:47,221 --> 00:00:48,265 This is Poppy, 12 00:00:48,309 --> 00:00:50,224 because that's my favorite flower. 13 00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:51,094 And this is George, 14 00:00:51,138 --> 00:00:53,227 because he came out looking curious. 15 00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:54,880 You know, like Boy George. 16 00:00:56,491 --> 00:00:59,102 Oh, hey, Portal, answer. 17 00:00:59,146 --> 00:01:00,451 Hi, Alex! 18 00:01:00,495 --> 00:01:02,105 How's my little ice queen? 19 00:01:02,149 --> 00:01:03,541 Didn't love being called that in high school, 20 00:01:03,585 --> 00:01:04,586 don't love it now. 21 00:01:04,629 --> 00:01:06,544 Hey, honey.Um, people keep asking -- 22 00:01:06,588 --> 00:01:08,198 tell me again what you're doing? 23 00:01:08,242 --> 00:01:09,156 Detecting the presence of neutrinos 24 00:01:09,199 --> 00:01:10,896 beneath the South Pole. 25 00:01:10,940 --> 00:01:12,942 Yeah, you -- you can stop. I'm just gonna keep telling them 26 00:01:12,985 --> 00:01:15,118 you're searching for the snow monster. 27 00:01:15,162 --> 00:01:16,554 Seriously, Alex? 28 00:01:16,598 --> 00:01:18,252 You can't come downstairs to talk to us? 29 00:01:18,295 --> 00:01:19,949 I've been gone for a month. 30 00:01:19,992 --> 00:01:22,256 Wait. So, that'smy hair in the drain? 31 00:01:22,299 --> 00:01:24,127 Honey, is everything okay? 32 00:01:24,171 --> 00:01:25,998 You look a little sad. 33 00:01:26,042 --> 00:01:27,304 Oh, no, no. 34 00:01:27,348 --> 00:01:29,785 I was sad earlier, and my face froze that way. 35 00:01:29,828 --> 00:01:32,222 But no regrets about turning down 36 00:01:32,266 --> 00:01:34,224 that cushy tech job in L.A. 37 00:01:35,312 --> 00:01:37,184 I mean, yeah, I miss Bill 38 00:01:37,227 --> 00:01:41,057 and the safety of other women around, 39 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,276 but Grandpa was right. 40 00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:44,974 This is the time of life to have an adventure. 41 00:01:45,017 --> 00:01:46,628 Is this a bad time? 42 00:01:46,671 --> 00:01:48,847 Oh, no.No, this is our new normal. 43 00:01:48,891 --> 00:01:51,328 Yeah. 44 00:01:51,372 --> 00:01:53,200 Well, I know all about sleep deprivation. 45 00:01:53,243 --> 00:01:55,071 Uh-huh. The sun never sets here, 46 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,377 so I've been up for days.Yeah, that's fun. 47 00:01:56,420 --> 00:01:57,769 Really nice, honey. I dream awake now. 48 00:01:57,813 --> 00:01:59,293 Hang on a second. Haley. 49 00:02:00,903 --> 00:02:02,861 Haley, I know that you are committed to breastfeeding 50 00:02:02,905 --> 00:02:04,254 and the book, 51 00:02:04,298 --> 00:02:06,517 but I think it's time that you considered formula. 52 00:02:06,561 --> 00:02:08,432 It will help the babies sleep, 53 00:02:08,476 --> 00:02:10,652 and the pediatrician said it is perfectly healthy. 54 00:02:10,695 --> 00:02:12,610 I'm living proof. I was a formula baby -- 55 00:02:12,654 --> 00:02:14,438 had a full set of teeth at six months.Yeah. 56 00:02:14,482 --> 00:02:15,439 But the book says -- 57 00:02:15,483 --> 00:02:16,875 Uch, the book. 58 00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:19,095 What do you have against my book? 59 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:21,532 It is called "Your Parents Did Everything Wrong." 60 00:02:21,576 --> 00:02:24,361 Dr. Goode is a celebratedpediatric life coach. 61 00:02:24,405 --> 00:02:26,407 And can you tone downthe negativity? 62 00:02:26,450 --> 00:02:28,974 Chapter six says that it cancause an allergy to peanuts. 63 00:02:29,018 --> 00:02:30,324 Uh-huh. 64 00:02:30,367 --> 00:02:31,890 Oh, man, no kid should grow up without Snoopy. 65 00:02:31,934 --> 00:02:33,457 Alex: Sounds like a crazy morning. 66 00:02:33,501 --> 00:02:35,198 I miss those. 67 00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:37,983 My research partner, Yngvar, doesn't speak English. 68 00:02:39,376 --> 00:02:40,595 Yngvar: Is me who did that? 69 00:02:40,638 --> 00:02:42,597 Hmm. 70 00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:45,339 Except for what he learned from reruns of "Family Matters." 71 00:02:45,382 --> 00:02:47,079 Phil: Guys! 72 00:02:47,123 --> 00:02:48,342 So that can be a little annoying 73 00:02:48,385 --> 00:02:49,821 having a research partner not speak your language, 74 00:02:49,865 --> 00:02:51,432 but I could also try and learn his language, 75 00:02:51,475 --> 00:02:53,477 which I have. 76 00:02:55,131 --> 00:02:57,481 Wake them, and I kill you. 77 00:02:57,525 --> 00:02:58,874 Phil: Uh-oh. 78 00:02:58,917 --> 00:03:00,484 Ah...Ah... 79 00:03:00,528 --> 00:03:01,616 Ah... 80 00:03:01,659 --> 00:03:04,096 Ah... 81 00:03:09,754 --> 00:03:12,714 --Captions by VITAC-- 82 00:03:22,332 --> 00:03:24,465 Ruff! More Spanish. 83 00:03:24,508 --> 00:03:25,466 R-R-R-Ruff! 84 00:03:25,509 --> 00:03:27,294 If this is role-playing, 85 00:03:27,337 --> 00:03:29,513 I'd like to play the part of disgusted son. 86 00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:32,081 I'm making a promo videofor my dog-bed company. 87 00:03:32,124 --> 00:03:34,126 And Stella's the star,of course. 88 00:03:34,170 --> 00:03:36,085 Today we're recordingher voice. 89 00:03:36,128 --> 00:03:38,479 And I am doing the Spanish version. 90 00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:39,480 Who's directing it? 91 00:03:39,523 --> 00:03:40,742 I don't know. Me, I guess. 92 00:03:40,785 --> 00:03:42,265 Wow,that's a punch in the gut. 93 00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:44,354 Why, Manny? Do you want to direct it? 94 00:03:44,398 --> 00:03:45,486 Why not? 95 00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:47,836 Some of our best artistsstarted out making commercials. 96 00:03:47,879 --> 00:03:50,491 Am I better than Spike Jonze or Guillermo del Toro? 97 00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:51,840 Nope. 98 00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:54,364 Listen, normally I would just 99 00:03:54,408 --> 00:03:56,540 cook up some fake reason why you couldn't direct it, 100 00:03:56,584 --> 00:03:58,716 but in this case, I have a real excuse. 101 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:00,718 Your old girlfriend, Sherry, 102 00:04:00,762 --> 00:04:02,285 is the voice of Stella. 103 00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:04,200 Jay, how could you? 104 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:07,159 After she broke his heart when she got repulsed 105 00:04:07,203 --> 00:04:09,161 by the idea of getting married to him? 106 00:04:09,205 --> 00:04:10,772 More overwhelmed than repulsed, 107 00:04:10,815 --> 00:04:11,773 as I remember it. 108 00:04:11,816 --> 00:04:13,557 She's already on our website 109 00:04:13,601 --> 00:04:14,515 as Stella's voice. 110 00:04:14,558 --> 00:04:15,777 Changing that now 111 00:04:15,820 --> 00:04:17,431 could be jarring for our fans. 112 00:04:17,474 --> 00:04:18,780 Like when they made 113 00:04:18,823 --> 00:04:20,216 my GPS lady British. 114 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,522 I'd rather be lost 115 00:04:21,565 --> 00:04:23,132 than talked down to by a snob! 116 00:04:23,175 --> 00:04:24,351 Please, Jay. 117 00:04:24,394 --> 00:04:26,309 I need to prove to myself that I'm over her, 118 00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:28,920 that I can rise above itand be professional. 119 00:04:28,964 --> 00:04:30,357 Fine, but if your emotions 120 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:31,923 get in the way of this production, 121 00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:34,665 you will never work in dog-bed commercials again. 122 00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:35,884 Don't worry. 123 00:04:35,927 --> 00:04:37,320 My only passion 124 00:04:37,364 --> 00:04:39,540 is helping you realizeyour creative vision. 125 00:04:39,583 --> 00:04:42,238 By day's end, Sherry will be mine. 126 00:04:45,633 --> 00:04:47,199 Oh, no,which icon's birthday 127 00:04:47,243 --> 00:04:48,897 are we celebrating today? 128 00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:50,159 Uh, Lauren Bacall's. 129 00:04:50,202 --> 00:04:51,116 We're dropping tulips by her grave later, 130 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:52,379 but that's not what this is. 131 00:04:52,422 --> 00:04:54,119 No, I'm having some at-risk students over. 132 00:04:54,163 --> 00:04:55,338 Why, you ask? I'm good. 133 00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:57,253 Well, 'cause I want to bond with these kids. 134 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,950 I want them to know that even though 135 00:04:58,994 --> 00:05:00,169 the rest of the world's given up on them, 136 00:05:00,212 --> 00:05:01,562 I haven't. 137 00:05:01,605 --> 00:05:03,477 I don't want to just be their Vice Principal. 138 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,522 I want to be their niceprincipal. 139 00:05:07,219 --> 00:05:09,352 I can't believeyou let this happen.I didn't know there'd be wordplay. 140 00:05:09,396 --> 00:05:12,181 Cam asked me to speak tohis students as an Assistant DA, 141 00:05:12,224 --> 00:05:14,488 give them the perspective of law enforcement. 142 00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:16,707 Truth is, I have been looking for an opportunity 143 00:05:16,751 --> 00:05:18,230 to show off my new badge. 144 00:05:18,274 --> 00:05:19,971 Even the most hardened criminals 145 00:05:20,015 --> 00:05:22,452 shudder when they get a gander at -- Ohh! 146 00:05:22,496 --> 00:05:23,801 Please don't be scratched! 147 00:05:23,845 --> 00:05:27,631 ♪ With a banjo on my knee ♪ 148 00:05:27,675 --> 00:05:29,067 I don't carewhat these kids did. 149 00:05:29,111 --> 00:05:30,460 This is cruel. I know. 150 00:05:30,504 --> 00:05:33,071 A vice principal that plays rock 'n' roll. 151 00:05:33,115 --> 00:05:35,422 Am I a little different? Yes, I am. 152 00:05:35,465 --> 00:05:37,206 I'm not like the other adults in your life 153 00:05:37,249 --> 00:05:38,947 that are just waiting for you to mess up 154 00:05:38,990 --> 00:05:40,514 so they can point the finger at you. 155 00:05:40,557 --> 00:05:42,516 I don't want to finger a bunch of kids. 156 00:05:42,559 --> 00:05:44,387 That's not how I get my jollies. 157 00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:45,432 Cam. Cam. 158 00:05:45,475 --> 00:05:46,520 I know what it's like. 159 00:05:46,563 --> 00:05:48,043 I had issues in school, 160 00:05:48,086 --> 00:05:49,653 and I was fingered left and right. 161 00:05:49,697 --> 00:05:52,656 And let me tell you, it did not feel good. 162 00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:54,005 Oh, Mitchell, should we be recording this? 163 00:05:54,049 --> 00:05:55,964 Oh, yes, no one's gonna believe me. 164 00:05:56,007 --> 00:05:57,574 How long is this gonna take,Mr. Tucker? 165 00:05:57,618 --> 00:06:00,055 Oh, now, Mr. Tucker's the cool vice principal at school. 166 00:06:00,098 --> 00:06:01,752 Here at my house 167 00:06:01,796 --> 00:06:02,884 call me Cam. 168 00:06:02,927 --> 00:06:04,320 Okay? 169 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,408 And this is Mitchell. 170 00:06:05,452 --> 00:06:07,889 He's an Assistant District Attorney, 171 00:06:07,932 --> 00:06:09,586 and he is our guest speaker. 172 00:06:09,630 --> 00:06:11,458 He's so white he's see-through. 173 00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:14,069 Thank you. 174 00:06:14,112 --> 00:06:16,288 We live in a society bound by laws. 175 00:06:16,332 --> 00:06:17,551 Okay? 176 00:06:17,594 --> 00:06:20,858 They're all that stand between order and chaos. 177 00:06:20,902 --> 00:06:23,470 And those who violate those laws 178 00:06:23,513 --> 00:06:27,125 wind up staring at the business end of -- 179 00:06:27,169 --> 00:06:28,910 Cam: It's gone! 180 00:06:28,953 --> 00:06:30,651 What,the spotlight on you? 181 00:06:30,694 --> 00:06:32,479 No, my porcelain clown figurine. 182 00:06:32,522 --> 00:06:33,697 It's supposed to be on this table. 183 00:06:33,741 --> 00:06:35,438 It's always on this table. 184 00:06:36,961 --> 00:06:39,660 One of youstole it! 185 00:06:41,096 --> 00:06:43,054 And on Lauren Bacall's birthday? 186 00:06:43,098 --> 00:06:44,491 Cam. Cam. R-Relax. 187 00:06:44,534 --> 00:06:46,710 Uh, isn't the whole pointof today not to prejudge them? 188 00:06:46,754 --> 00:06:48,146 Oh, please, Mitchell. They're trash. 189 00:06:48,190 --> 00:06:49,670 I know it. They know it. 190 00:06:49,713 --> 00:06:51,846 Everybody knows it. 191 00:06:53,543 --> 00:06:55,937 ♪ Welcome home, my sweet babies ♪ 192 00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:58,113 ♪ After escrow, get the key 193 00:06:58,156 --> 00:06:59,636 Please don't sing that song. 194 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,465 Sorry, it's better than "Pop Goes the Appraisal." 195 00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:04,598 Aw. Shh. Mom, what are you doing? 196 00:07:04,641 --> 00:07:06,687 Stop it. The book says you're not supposed to 197 00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:08,689 make eye contact during nap time. 198 00:07:08,732 --> 00:07:11,692 They're babies,not Johnny Depp on a film set. 199 00:07:11,735 --> 00:07:14,521 ♪ Open house, noon to 5:00 200 00:07:14,564 --> 00:07:17,654 ♪ Such a charming fixer-upper 201 00:07:23,007 --> 00:07:24,748 H-o-ow's it going? 202 00:07:24,792 --> 00:07:26,054 Still crying. 203 00:07:26,097 --> 00:07:28,143 You didn't make eye contact, did you? 204 00:07:28,186 --> 00:07:30,362 That can't be a thing, Phil. 205 00:07:30,406 --> 00:07:31,842 And I'm getting a little sick 206 00:07:31,886 --> 00:07:34,279 of Haley insinuating thatwe don't know how to raise kids. 207 00:07:34,323 --> 00:07:35,846 She can't be saying that about me. 208 00:07:35,890 --> 00:07:38,414 I spent half my 30s in blanket forts with those kids. 209 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,720 You know what? 210 00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:41,939 Youneed to get her to go to sleep 211 00:07:41,983 --> 00:07:43,898 so I can put those babies downthe right way. 212 00:07:43,941 --> 00:07:45,639 Our way. 213 00:07:45,682 --> 00:07:47,728 She's crazed right now. How am Isupposed to get her to sleep? 214 00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:49,643 I don't know. How did you do itwhen she was a kid? 215 00:07:53,734 --> 00:07:56,519 Dad, isn't the drugstorethat way? 216 00:07:56,563 --> 00:07:58,390 It is, but there's construction, 217 00:07:58,434 --> 00:08:00,697 so I got to -- got to go around. 218 00:08:00,741 --> 00:08:02,569 Is it warm in here? 219 00:08:02,612 --> 00:08:03,787 I feel fine. 220 00:08:03,831 --> 00:08:05,963 You know, uh, I just discovered this new station 221 00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:07,748 called "Winds of the World." 222 00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:09,010 Ooh, this is -- this is a good one. 223 00:08:09,053 --> 00:08:10,533 If you close your eyes, 224 00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:11,926 it feels like you're right there in, um... 225 00:08:11,969 --> 00:08:13,884 "Open Prairie." 226 00:08:13,928 --> 00:08:15,320 Try it. You should get some restback there. 227 00:08:15,364 --> 00:08:16,583 I'm not sleepy. 228 00:08:16,626 --> 00:08:18,410 Well, you don't have to sleep. 229 00:08:18,454 --> 00:08:20,891 Just, uh -- Just rest your eyes. 230 00:08:20,935 --> 00:08:22,197 Uch. I don't wanna. 231 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,373 You are just grumpy 'cause you're overtired. 232 00:08:24,416 --> 00:08:26,418 Stop saying I'm tired! 233 00:08:26,462 --> 00:08:27,942 Okay. 234 00:08:27,985 --> 00:08:29,160 I know. 235 00:08:29,204 --> 00:08:30,771 Let's make a list 236 00:08:30,814 --> 00:08:32,381 of all the things we want to do tomorrow. 237 00:08:32,424 --> 00:08:34,905 I am, uh -- I'm gonna have some waffles, 238 00:08:34,949 --> 00:08:36,690 uh, go outside, 239 00:08:36,733 --> 00:08:39,693 uh, make a list of all my friends' names. 240 00:08:39,736 --> 00:08:45,786 There's, uh, the mailman... 241 00:08:45,829 --> 00:08:50,921 the lady with the ice cream...house... 242 00:08:57,275 --> 00:08:59,234 Cuando te acuestas en una cama de perro por Stella, 243 00:08:59,277 --> 00:09:03,455 sabes que eres amado. 244 00:09:04,892 --> 00:09:07,459 It's perfect, honey.We got it. 245 00:09:07,503 --> 00:09:08,635 She's never gonna get there. 246 00:09:08,678 --> 00:09:10,680 I'll ask one of the nanniesin the park to do it 247 00:09:10,724 --> 00:09:11,725 next time I take Joe. 248 00:09:11,768 --> 00:09:12,813 They love me. 249 00:09:12,856 --> 00:09:15,816 I can never get out of therewithout a bag of tamales. 250 00:09:15,859 --> 00:09:17,382 Well, there's our star! 251 00:09:17,426 --> 00:09:19,863 Hey, Jay.Love the script, so fun! 252 00:09:19,907 --> 00:09:20,821 Manny. 253 00:09:20,864 --> 00:09:22,866 I didn't know you'd be here. 254 00:09:22,910 --> 00:09:23,780 I'm your director. 255 00:09:23,824 --> 00:09:25,477 No reason it has to be awkward. 256 00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:26,783 As long as you do everything I say 257 00:09:26,827 --> 00:09:28,263 between "action" and "cut." 258 00:09:28,306 --> 00:09:29,481 Speaking of which, 259 00:09:29,525 --> 00:09:30,961 I've been getting quite a bit of action. 260 00:09:31,005 --> 00:09:32,746 And cut. Look, I'm renting this joint by the hour. 261 00:09:32,789 --> 00:09:34,443 Can we just do this? 262 00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:36,750 Hi, Gloria. 263 00:09:36,793 --> 00:09:38,578 Hi, Sherry. Break your legs. 264 00:09:39,666 --> 00:09:41,668 Okay, Sherry,whenever you're ready. 265 00:09:41,711 --> 00:09:46,411 Boy, am I tired after a day of playing fetch, digging, 266 00:09:46,455 --> 00:09:48,326 and sniffing other dogs at the park. 267 00:09:48,370 --> 00:09:51,765 If only there were an American-made bed... 268 00:09:51,808 --> 00:09:53,723 Ugh, I'm so sorry. That was terrible. 269 00:09:53,767 --> 00:09:54,811 Manny, can we start over? 270 00:09:54,855 --> 00:09:56,813 I never stopped. Oh. 271 00:09:56,857 --> 00:09:58,641 You mean the commercial.Yes. 272 00:09:58,685 --> 00:10:01,601 Although, that was exquisite. 273 00:10:02,863 --> 00:10:05,300 I believed that you're a dog. 274 00:10:05,343 --> 00:10:07,084 It's Gloria. 275 00:10:07,128 --> 00:10:09,913 And you, you're embarrassing yourself. 276 00:10:09,957 --> 00:10:12,089 What are you talking about?You're trying to win her back. 277 00:10:12,133 --> 00:10:14,091 The unbuttoned shirt, the cologne, 278 00:10:14,135 --> 00:10:16,877 the praising of her pedestrian performance. 279 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:18,661 It's not gonna work, Manny. Why not? 280 00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:20,576 Because if you want someone to like you, 281 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,665 you need to make them wantyour approval. 282 00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:24,101 Mom, that's a tired,old way of thinking 283 00:10:24,145 --> 00:10:25,102 that doesn't work. 284 00:10:25,146 --> 00:10:26,887 Here you go. 285 00:10:26,930 --> 00:10:28,845 What do you think is wrong with this? 286 00:10:28,889 --> 00:10:31,152 Damn it, the lemon! I'm sorry, baby. 287 00:10:33,763 --> 00:10:35,547 L-Let's start from the top. 288 00:10:35,591 --> 00:10:37,114 And this time, not so slow. 289 00:10:37,158 --> 00:10:38,463 Stronger. 290 00:10:38,507 --> 00:10:40,596 Assert yourself, Manuel. 291 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,946 And I couldn't understanda word you were saying. 292 00:10:42,990 --> 00:10:44,731 Try to get the marblesout of your mouth. 293 00:10:44,774 --> 00:10:46,036 Oh, sorry. 294 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:48,560 Yeah, whatever you need. 295 00:10:48,604 --> 00:10:51,389 Wow,maybe this could work. 296 00:10:52,956 --> 00:10:54,828 While you're up,my shoulders are a little tight. 297 00:10:54,871 --> 00:10:56,351 You mind getting in there? 298 00:10:56,394 --> 00:10:59,223 I don't think you want my hands that close to your neck. 299 00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:03,793 I invite you into my home, 300 00:11:03,837 --> 00:11:05,882 and this is how you repay me? 301 00:11:05,926 --> 00:11:07,710 Oh, I know what you were thinking. 302 00:11:07,754 --> 00:11:10,495 "He'll never miss it. He lives like a king." 303 00:11:10,539 --> 00:11:12,759 We didn't take your stupid clown! 304 00:11:12,802 --> 00:11:15,413 Interesting you know it's a clown, Suzie! 305 00:11:15,457 --> 00:11:18,503 You said it three times,Cameron. 306 00:11:18,547 --> 00:11:19,896 It's Vice Principal Tucker! 307 00:11:19,940 --> 00:11:22,159 Show some respect. I'm not your mom's pimp. 308 00:11:22,203 --> 00:11:23,857 Mitchell: Oh. Okay, Cam. 309 00:11:24,988 --> 00:11:26,294 Cam, I-I know you likeyour tchotchkes, 310 00:11:26,337 --> 00:11:27,991 but aren't these kids hereso you can bond? 311 00:11:28,035 --> 00:11:30,080 Um... 312 00:11:30,124 --> 00:11:32,430 Hey, Alex. Everything okay? 313 00:11:32,474 --> 00:11:34,737 Alex: Yeah, yeah. I-I'm probably overreacting. 314 00:11:34,781 --> 00:11:37,087 It's just I tried to make friends 315 00:11:37,131 --> 00:11:40,003 with one of the scientists, but there's a language gap. 316 00:11:40,047 --> 00:11:41,962 He misunderstood and kissed me. 317 00:11:42,005 --> 00:11:43,746 So it's a little awkward now. 318 00:11:45,356 --> 00:11:46,880 Uh-huh, that sounds fun. 319 00:11:46,923 --> 00:11:48,577 What?! It's not. Oh. 320 00:11:48,620 --> 00:11:50,318 I kind of want to come home, 321 00:11:50,361 --> 00:11:52,581 but Grandpa was so excited about me doing this, 322 00:11:52,624 --> 00:11:54,757 and I don't want to disappoint him. 323 00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:56,890 Hey, you've disappointed him a lot. 324 00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:58,108 What was that like? 325 00:11:58,152 --> 00:12:00,632 Ohh, Alex,I struggled with this for years, 326 00:12:00,676 --> 00:12:02,025 but I-I finally learned 327 00:12:02,069 --> 00:12:04,245 that the most important thing is -- 328 00:12:04,288 --> 00:12:06,900 Hey, Alex! Say "Hi" to Santa Claus. 329 00:12:06,943 --> 00:12:08,815 Bye! I'm at the South Po-- 330 00:12:08,858 --> 00:12:10,033 Okay. 331 00:12:10,077 --> 00:12:11,208 Alright, I've decided what I'm gonna do. 332 00:12:11,252 --> 00:12:13,123 I'm gonna turn the heat up on one of the kids. 333 00:12:13,167 --> 00:12:15,169 If they did it, they'll confess. 334 00:12:15,212 --> 00:12:17,649 If not, the actual criminal...Mm-hmm? 335 00:12:17,693 --> 00:12:20,261 ...will feel guilty and step forward. 336 00:12:20,304 --> 00:12:22,567 So, this is gonna beour whole Saturday? 337 00:12:22,611 --> 00:12:23,873 Okay. 338 00:12:23,917 --> 00:12:25,396 Why -- Why did we evenbuy bikes? 339 00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:27,921 You took his stupid, little clown, didn't you? 340 00:12:27,964 --> 00:12:29,618 I find it sadthat your generation 341 00:12:29,661 --> 00:12:31,663 is so damaged and cynical. 342 00:12:31,707 --> 00:12:32,839 It happened a few days ago. 343 00:12:32,882 --> 00:12:34,884 I hated that thing. 344 00:12:34,928 --> 00:12:36,930 It had to go. 345 00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:39,976 I mean, that's how collections start. 346 00:12:43,327 --> 00:12:46,809 I wasn't crazy about the cat cozy, either. 347 00:12:46,853 --> 00:12:48,811 But I never intended 348 00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:51,422 for Cam to blame it on one of those poor kids. 349 00:12:51,466 --> 00:12:54,469 I mean, I was just gonna pin it on the cleaning lady. 350 00:12:54,512 --> 00:12:55,992 Where's it at, Wonderbread?! 351 00:12:56,036 --> 00:12:57,951 Uh, I don't know whatyou're talking about,Mr. Tucker. I-I swear. 352 00:12:57,994 --> 00:12:59,256 Mitchell: Okay. Okay. 353 00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:00,910 Let's just, uh -- Let's all take a breath 354 00:13:00,954 --> 00:13:02,956 and just remember some of the basics of the law, okay? 355 00:13:02,999 --> 00:13:05,088 We're all innocent until proven guilty. 356 00:13:05,132 --> 00:13:08,048 Take it from someonewho is packing one of -- 357 00:13:08,091 --> 00:13:10,093 oh, dang it.Ooh, I left it in the kitchen. 358 00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:11,442 Okay, stay right there. 359 00:13:11,486 --> 00:13:13,488 This is lame. Let's bounce.Okay, no. 360 00:13:13,531 --> 00:13:16,883 No one is bouncing until I get my figurine. 361 00:13:16,926 --> 00:13:18,667 But I have to get home soon. 362 00:13:18,710 --> 00:13:21,148 I've read your file,Belinda. No one knowsor cares where you are. 363 00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:24,716 And... 364 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:28,503 done! 365 00:13:31,288 --> 00:13:33,769 Oh, why?! Why?! 366 00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:36,032 What is going on? 367 00:13:36,076 --> 00:13:38,078 How are they still awake? 368 00:13:38,121 --> 00:13:40,776 I tried the vacuum. I tried formula. 369 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:41,951 I tried everything. 370 00:13:41,995 --> 00:13:43,083 Not quite. 371 00:13:43,126 --> 00:13:46,086 It is time to break out... 372 00:13:46,129 --> 00:13:47,783 the big guns. 373 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,132 Hmm? 374 00:13:49,176 --> 00:13:50,046 I knowHaley banned pacifiers, 375 00:13:50,090 --> 00:13:51,221 but I bought these 376 00:13:51,265 --> 00:13:52,657 when I thoughtshe was gonna be a fun mom. 377 00:13:52,701 --> 00:13:54,137 Let's do it. 378 00:13:57,967 --> 00:13:58,750 Look at that. 379 00:13:58,794 --> 00:14:00,056 It's working already. 380 00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:02,667 Old-schoolparenting for the win. 381 00:14:02,711 --> 00:14:04,017 They'll be asleep in no time, 382 00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:05,583 unless they see each other. 383 00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:07,455 Then they won't be able to stop laughing. Yes. 384 00:14:25,212 --> 00:14:27,127 What the hell? 385 00:14:27,170 --> 00:14:28,606 Formula? Pacifiers? 386 00:14:28,650 --> 00:14:30,521 Are you kidding me?! 387 00:14:30,565 --> 00:14:33,176 This is a very weird wayof saying, "Thank you, Mother, 388 00:14:33,220 --> 00:14:35,135 for settling down my babies. 389 00:14:35,178 --> 00:14:37,006 I have a lot to learn from you." 390 00:14:37,050 --> 00:14:38,965 You ignored everything I asked of you! 391 00:14:39,008 --> 00:14:41,141 Haley, don't be so hard on your mom. 392 00:14:41,184 --> 00:14:42,403 Ohh, you! 393 00:14:42,446 --> 00:14:43,970 Those pacifiers have you written all over them. 394 00:14:45,406 --> 00:14:46,755 Hmm. 395 00:14:49,627 --> 00:14:51,803 Babies aren't supposed to smoke! 396 00:14:59,986 --> 00:15:01,204 How could you sneak behind my back like that? 397 00:15:01,248 --> 00:15:02,945 Honey, we were just tryingto help. 398 00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:04,077 Well, you didn't. 399 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,209 The book says 85% of pacifier users 400 00:15:06,253 --> 00:15:07,950 grow up to be cat people. 401 00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:10,518 I can't believe I'm saying this,but you need to stop reading. 402 00:15:10,561 --> 00:15:11,954 And do what? 403 00:15:11,998 --> 00:15:14,000 Do what? Rely on my instincts? 404 00:15:14,043 --> 00:15:16,350 I don't have any. That is the problem! 405 00:15:16,393 --> 00:15:18,047 Honey, everybody has instincts. 406 00:15:18,091 --> 00:15:19,222 Oh, do I? 407 00:15:19,266 --> 00:15:20,310 Because I keep waiting for them to kick in, 408 00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:21,355 and they haven't. 409 00:15:21,398 --> 00:15:23,096 And I don't think that they ever will. 410 00:15:23,139 --> 00:15:25,098 I just -- Maybe I'm just not meant to be a mom. 411 00:15:25,141 --> 00:15:27,230 Sweetie, of course you're meant to be a mom. 412 00:15:27,274 --> 00:15:31,060 Listen, it is normal to feel overwhelmed. Really. 413 00:15:31,104 --> 00:15:33,106 It -- The best parents are the ones who worry 414 00:15:33,149 --> 00:15:34,107 they're doing it wrong. 415 00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:35,543 Same goes for lovers. 416 00:15:37,153 --> 00:15:38,981 Wait, are the babies still on the couch? 417 00:15:39,025 --> 00:15:40,591 Oh, I'm sure they're fine. 418 00:15:40,635 --> 00:15:43,072 It's locked. Babies start rolling over at this age. 419 00:15:43,116 --> 00:15:44,595 Oh. Do you have a key? 420 00:15:44,639 --> 00:15:45,988 Uh, it's inside, but I hid oneout here years ago. 421 00:15:46,032 --> 00:15:47,903 It's in, um... 422 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,905 It's in a fake rock. 423 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,254 Can't -- Can't find it. 424 00:15:51,298 --> 00:15:52,560 It's -- It's too realistic. 425 00:15:52,603 --> 00:15:54,083 Why did I spring for the good one? 426 00:15:54,127 --> 00:15:55,171 I have to get in there. 427 00:15:56,259 --> 00:15:58,044 Haley! Haley, what are you doing?! 428 00:15:58,087 --> 00:15:59,784 Honey. Honey, be careful. 429 00:15:59,828 --> 00:16:02,700 It's impossible not to fall off of that roof! 430 00:16:04,659 --> 00:16:06,704 Poppy! George! Mommy's coming! 431 00:16:06,748 --> 00:16:09,185 Claire: Those sure look like mominstincts to me! 432 00:16:09,229 --> 00:16:10,926 You're a natural! 433 00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:13,363 Now we know how she used to sneak in after curfew. 434 00:16:13,407 --> 00:16:15,670 And who's hanging the Christmaslights this year. 435 00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:17,498 Yeah. Babies are up. 436 00:16:17,541 --> 00:16:18,412 Somebody gonna take care of that? 437 00:16:21,197 --> 00:16:24,070 When you lie down in a Dog Bed by Stella, 438 00:16:24,113 --> 00:16:26,463 you know you're loved. 439 00:16:26,507 --> 00:16:28,117 Was that any better? 440 00:16:28,161 --> 00:16:31,033 Where to begin,where to begin... 441 00:16:31,077 --> 00:16:33,514 You've met a dog, right? 442 00:16:33,557 --> 00:16:34,602 Yes. 443 00:16:34,645 --> 00:16:37,039 And I know you've feltloved before. 444 00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:40,042 So let's link those two ideasand try to get it this time. 445 00:16:40,086 --> 00:16:41,174 Can I get some water first? 446 00:16:41,217 --> 00:16:43,132 I suppose. 447 00:16:43,176 --> 00:16:45,047 You should make her drink it out of a dog bowl. 448 00:16:45,091 --> 00:16:47,528 That seems over-the-line,but you were right. 449 00:16:47,571 --> 00:16:48,833 This is working. 450 00:16:50,487 --> 00:16:53,099 Hey, Alex. Kinda in the middleof something. 451 00:16:53,142 --> 00:16:55,275 Okay. It's just that things are spiraling 452 00:16:55,318 --> 00:16:56,406 a little bit down here. 453 00:16:56,450 --> 00:16:57,929 This guy, Yngvar, keeps trying to woo me 454 00:16:57,973 --> 00:17:00,280 with things he's killed. 455 00:17:00,323 --> 00:17:02,064 Oh. 456 00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:03,109 Another fish. Thanks. 457 00:17:03,152 --> 00:17:04,458 I'll...put it with the others. 458 00:17:04,501 --> 00:17:06,460 We're still at this?Meter's running. 459 00:17:07,548 --> 00:17:09,245 And...action. 460 00:17:09,289 --> 00:17:12,161 When you lie down in a Dog Bed by Stella, 461 00:17:12,205 --> 00:17:14,468 you know you're loved. 462 00:17:14,511 --> 00:17:16,122 Wow. 463 00:17:16,165 --> 00:17:18,733 You have her right where you want her. 464 00:17:18,776 --> 00:17:22,084 Now, go in there, give her a little praise, 465 00:17:22,128 --> 00:17:24,478 and then reel her in. 466 00:17:24,521 --> 00:17:25,870 It won't be hard. 467 00:17:25,914 --> 00:17:27,263 This is her best performance 468 00:17:27,307 --> 00:17:30,136 since that improv audience suggested "Jackée O." 469 00:17:30,179 --> 00:17:32,138 Alex: Yngvar does seem sweet. 470 00:17:32,181 --> 00:17:34,140 I read the suicide rate here has plateaued. 471 00:17:34,183 --> 00:17:35,967 Okay, that's enough. Wrap it up, kid. 472 00:17:36,011 --> 00:17:37,143 Time to go home. 473 00:17:37,186 --> 00:17:38,666 Oh. Thank you. 474 00:17:38,709 --> 00:17:40,233 This has not been working out. 475 00:17:40,276 --> 00:17:42,365 I mean, I just needed your permission to admit it 476 00:17:42,409 --> 00:17:44,759 because part of me came down here to impress you. 477 00:17:44,802 --> 00:17:46,413 See you soon, Grandpa. Love you. 478 00:17:47,849 --> 00:17:49,372 So? 479 00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:50,243 That was really good. 480 00:17:50,286 --> 00:17:51,679 Oh, thank God. 481 00:17:51,722 --> 00:17:53,507 I mean, it's all you. 482 00:17:53,550 --> 00:17:56,553 I've never had a directorwith such a sure hand. 483 00:17:56,597 --> 00:17:58,164 It's so electric. 484 00:17:59,426 --> 00:18:00,514 It is, isn't it? 485 00:18:00,557 --> 00:18:04,126 What do you say we get a drink,Brown Eyes? 486 00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:05,823 It was all happening. 487 00:18:05,867 --> 00:18:08,391 I was on the brink of a directorial masterpiece. 488 00:18:08,435 --> 00:18:09,827 This was the kind of thing that could launch me 489 00:18:09,871 --> 00:18:12,178 straight into an unpaid internship. 490 00:18:12,221 --> 00:18:14,484 Let's put a pin in that drink. 491 00:18:14,528 --> 00:18:15,616 I wanna go again. 492 00:18:18,401 --> 00:18:20,795 It took 63 more takes, but I got it. 493 00:18:20,838 --> 00:18:23,189 When you lie downin a Dog Bed by Stella, 494 00:18:23,232 --> 00:18:25,408 you know you're loved. 495 00:18:25,452 --> 00:18:27,149 You're a purebred. Stop acting like a mutt. 496 00:18:27,193 --> 00:18:28,629 Again! 497 00:18:28,672 --> 00:18:31,197 When you lie downin a Dog Bed by Stella, 498 00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:33,373 you know you're loved. 499 00:18:33,416 --> 00:18:35,070 There's pain behind this. 500 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:36,767 They spayed you without your permission! 501 00:18:36,811 --> 00:18:39,640 It's your body! Who decided?! Again! 502 00:18:41,032 --> 00:18:43,209 When you lie downin a Dog Bed by Stella, 503 00:18:43,252 --> 00:18:45,385 you know you're loved. 504 00:18:45,428 --> 00:18:48,214 Again! When you lie downin a Dog Bed by Stella, 505 00:18:48,257 --> 00:18:50,433 you know you're loved. 506 00:18:50,477 --> 00:18:52,392 And cut! We're good in here. 507 00:18:52,435 --> 00:18:54,089 Anything you wanna try? 508 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,569 Not with you! 509 00:18:58,224 --> 00:19:01,270 Cameron: Garbage.That's what I'm looking at here. 510 00:19:01,314 --> 00:19:02,619 Human garbage. 511 00:19:02,663 --> 00:19:04,404 Yeah, you're right. 512 00:19:04,447 --> 00:19:06,319 It's just like my mom says --I'm nothin'. 513 00:19:06,362 --> 00:19:09,191 I'm gonna join a gang,get a face tattoo. 514 00:19:09,235 --> 00:19:11,541 I'm gonna sell my hair for nose drugs. 515 00:19:11,585 --> 00:19:13,848 No, okay, stop!I-I can't take it anymore. 516 00:19:13,891 --> 00:19:16,024 I'm sorry.I threw away the statue. 517 00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:18,809 It was --It was just so tacky. 518 00:19:18,853 --> 00:19:21,334 You guys, please don't give upon yourselves, okay? 519 00:19:21,377 --> 00:19:22,378 You havevery bright futures. 520 00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:23,466 Yeah, you're right. 521 00:19:23,510 --> 00:19:26,643 They sure do...in theater. 522 00:19:26,687 --> 00:19:28,689 Because this is the theater group from school, 523 00:19:28,732 --> 00:19:30,256 The Emotivations! 524 00:19:30,299 --> 00:19:32,823 Bravo! Brava! 525 00:19:32,867 --> 00:19:34,303 I found this in the trash the other day. 526 00:19:34,347 --> 00:19:35,217 I knew you put it there and wouldn't admit it. 527 00:19:35,261 --> 00:19:39,439 So I brought some very talented young thespians over 528 00:19:39,482 --> 00:19:42,050 to portray at-risk youth. 529 00:19:42,093 --> 00:19:44,270 He got you, girl! 530 00:19:44,313 --> 00:19:45,358 You know, I said I wanted to bond with these kids, 531 00:19:45,401 --> 00:19:46,794 and I sure did. 532 00:19:46,837 --> 00:19:48,665 We had some hard-core bondage. 533 00:19:48,709 --> 00:19:50,145 You're gonna get fired. 534 00:19:51,407 --> 00:19:53,801 Ahh! 535 00:19:53,844 --> 00:19:57,152 This bed feels good on my weary bones. 536 00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:58,719 Mmm! 537 00:19:58,762 --> 00:20:00,373 Bones. 538 00:20:00,416 --> 00:20:04,072 I'm gonna need money for reshoots.Not gonna happen. 539 00:20:04,115 --> 00:20:06,640 Alex: Sometimes in life, you've got to know when to call it quits. 540 00:20:06,683 --> 00:20:08,424 It's not always easy. 541 00:20:08,468 --> 00:20:11,862 It takes a lot of courage to admit your mistakes. 542 00:20:11,906 --> 00:20:14,474 The only thing you can do is try to learn from them 543 00:20:14,517 --> 00:20:15,692 and keep moving forward. 544 00:20:19,087 --> 00:20:21,481 Anyways, the helicopterwill be here soon. 545 00:20:21,524 --> 00:20:23,787 So,I guess this is goodbye. 546 00:20:29,924 --> 00:20:31,404 Aw! 547 00:20:31,447 --> 00:20:34,276 I'll miss you, too. 548 00:20:43,894 --> 00:20:45,461 Do you hear that? 549 00:20:45,505 --> 00:20:48,334 There is no sound betterthan babies not crying. 550 00:20:48,377 --> 00:20:51,337 Mm, we're gonnaget so much sleep. 551 00:20:51,380 --> 00:20:53,339 Or... 552 00:20:53,382 --> 00:20:54,427 Again? 553 00:20:54,470 --> 00:20:56,124 I just feel like I could do better. 554 00:20:56,167 --> 00:20:57,343 Oh, you were fine. 555 00:20:57,386 --> 00:20:58,431 Really? Mm. 556 00:20:58,474 --> 00:21:00,128 Yes! 557 00:21:00,171 --> 00:21:01,695 Mm. Good night. 558 00:21:01,738 --> 00:21:02,696 Good night. 559 00:21:02,739 --> 00:21:04,306 Hey! 560 00:21:04,350 --> 00:21:06,134 What?! What is that?!What is it?! 561 00:21:06,177 --> 00:21:07,875 Haley!What are you doing?! 562 00:21:07,918 --> 00:21:09,572 I locked myself out again. 563 00:21:09,616 --> 00:21:11,226 Oh. 564 00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:12,401 Great. Thanks for screaming. 565 00:21:12,445 --> 00:21:14,360 Ohh. 566 00:21:14,403 --> 00:21:17,450 Well... as long as we're both awake...