1 00:00:02,236 --> 00:00:03,037 No, Margaret, I want you to triple check 2 00:00:04,438 --> 00:00:06,340 with the compliance officer about that. 3 00:00:06,374 --> 00:00:07,575 What are you doing? 4 00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:08,909 I'm working on a little something. 5 00:00:08,942 --> 00:00:10,511 You know how when you're making pancakes, 6 00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:11,645 your hands are always full? No. 7 00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:13,214 Well, this'll solve that. 8 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:16,050 Did you take the batteries 9 00:00:16,084 --> 00:00:17,418 out of the smoke detector for this? 10 00:00:17,451 --> 00:00:19,353 No, no, still here. Still here. 11 00:00:19,387 --> 00:00:20,654 Yeah, no, I want to read the investor statement 12 00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:21,822 this afternoon, 13 00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:23,257 but, Dom, you're gonna have to resend it. 14 00:00:23,291 --> 00:00:24,925 You accidentally e-mailed me 15 00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:26,527 the first chapter of your novel, 16 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:28,329 and just a tiny little note, 17 00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,931 maybe not all bosoms are heaving. 18 00:00:30,964 --> 00:00:32,833 Thanks, guys. [ Cellphone beeps ] 19 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,568 Work call on a Saturday morning? 20 00:00:34,602 --> 00:00:35,436 What's going on? 21 00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:36,604 [ Groans ] 22 00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:38,005 Honey. 23 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,940 You probably don't want to get into this right now, 24 00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:41,742 but is this a bald spot or the center of your swirl? 25 00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:46,114 My job has been miserable. 26 00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:48,616 I'm always working, I never sleep, 27 00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:50,618 and all I do is clean up other people's messes 28 00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:53,221 because I'm the only adult in the room. 29 00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:54,588 Oh, my God. 30 00:00:54,622 --> 00:00:55,589 I'm a mom again, 31 00:00:55,623 --> 00:00:58,092 but to people I don't love. 32 00:00:58,126 --> 00:00:59,260 Sweetheart, listen. 33 00:00:59,293 --> 00:01:00,628 For years, you supported me 34 00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:03,431 while I juggled realtoring and -- and juggling. 35 00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:05,466 And now it's my turn to support you. 36 00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:07,635 Anything that's not work, I'm your guy. 37 00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:08,969 Oh, God! 38 00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:12,240 -- Captions by VITA -- 39 00:01:12,273 --> 00:01:14,975 Captioning Provided by 20th Century Fox Television and ABC, Inc. 40 00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:23,184 Hey, look at you guys. So playful. 41 00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:26,387 When I get married, I hope my wife and I 42 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:28,389 never lose that sense of whimsy. 43 00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:29,123 Thank you, Luke. What do you want? 44 00:01:29,157 --> 00:01:30,558 Okay, here's the deal. 45 00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:31,725 My buddy Scooter and I 46 00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:33,327 came up with this really cool business idea. 47 00:01:33,361 --> 00:01:34,628 We think it's gonna be huge. 48 00:01:34,662 --> 00:01:36,230 That's great, pal! 49 00:01:36,264 --> 00:01:37,298 We are so proud of you. 50 00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:38,299 Get to the bad part. 51 00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:39,800 There is no bad part. 52 00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:42,136 Actually, you guys are gonna make money. 53 00:01:42,170 --> 00:01:43,737 Because I have to drop out of school to do it. 54 00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:45,806 [ Laughs ] You're not dropping out of school. 55 00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:46,807 Honey... No. 56 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:47,808 ...I -- I got this. 57 00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:49,109 But we should've seen it coming. 58 00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:50,178 After all, his dad is the creator 59 00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:52,980 of the Hey Batter, Batter. 60 00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:54,315 The name's a placeholder. 61 00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:55,749 But probably still available. 62 00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:58,252 Dad, I want you to know I love your pancake shooter. 63 00:01:58,286 --> 00:02:03,591 Have you seen the updates...to... 64 00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:05,626 the Insta-Cold straw? 65 00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:07,127 You should be on a stamp. 66 00:02:07,161 --> 00:02:09,463 Has that ever not electrocuted someone? 67 00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:11,499 Sometimes you have to shock a few people 68 00:02:11,532 --> 00:02:12,866 before you shock the world. 69 00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:14,668 Huh. That should go on your stamp. 70 00:02:14,702 --> 00:02:16,270 Okay, stop flattering your dad. 71 00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:17,771 You're not dropping out of school. 72 00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:19,273 You're almost done! 73 00:02:19,307 --> 00:02:20,808 And more importantly, 74 00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:22,276 we don't quit things in this family. 75 00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:23,644 Haley quit college. 76 00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:25,779 And Alex quit her job in Antarctica. 77 00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:27,881 And Dad has never finished a Sudoku. 78 00:02:27,915 --> 00:02:29,217 They are hard. 79 00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:30,818 Mom, this isn't some goof. 80 00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:32,786 Scooter and I really believe in this idea. 81 00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,021 Can we at least show you 82 00:02:34,054 --> 00:02:35,656 in the investor presentation this afternoon? 83 00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:37,024 We'd love to hear it, wouldn't we? 84 00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:38,826 Of course. 85 00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:40,894 Yes! You guys aren't gonna be disappointed. 86 00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:42,062 I'm gonna call Scooter now. 87 00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:45,466 He's not dropping out of school. 88 00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,468 You have got to listen with an open mind. 89 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:49,703 After all, what kind of world would we live in 90 00:02:49,737 --> 00:02:51,205 if all parents forced their kids to stay in school 91 00:02:51,239 --> 00:02:52,540 and not pursue their dreams? 92 00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:54,475 No Steve Jobs, no Mark Zuckerberg, 93 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:56,344 no Cindy Crawford. 94 00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:59,012 Steve Jobs put a computer in everyone's pocket. 95 00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:01,749 Luke almost died taking off a hoodie on an escalator. 96 00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:04,352 My point is, dreams need to be fostered. 97 00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:06,019 And if I'm being honest, 98 00:03:06,053 --> 00:03:07,755 I kind of love the idea of being a mentor 99 00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:08,856 to these two young minds. 100 00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:10,524 [ Electricity crackles, groaning ] 101 00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:12,025 [ Muffled ] Wooden spoon! 102 00:03:12,059 --> 00:03:13,727 Knock it away with a wooden spoon! 103 00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:14,895 Thank you. 104 00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:16,997 [ Thud ] 105 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,499 [ Laughs ] 106 00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:19,933 Oh, this is amazing! 107 00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:20,934 Oh, my God. Oh. 108 00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:22,236 Daddy so walks like that! 109 00:03:22,270 --> 00:03:23,571 [ Both laughing ] 110 00:03:23,604 --> 00:03:25,773 Cameron: Why are you guys laughing? 111 00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:26,774 We -- We were happy? 112 00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:28,242 Since when? 113 00:03:28,276 --> 00:03:29,843 Were you watching that video again? 114 00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:32,045 Recently, the high school dolphin mascot 115 00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:34,615 has been, uh, mocking Cam during football games. 116 00:03:34,648 --> 00:03:36,850 He's -- and I don't use this word lightly -- 117 00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:38,752 a genius. 118 00:03:38,786 --> 00:03:40,721 How about we get our heads in the game?! 119 00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,590 [ Whistle blows ] 120 00:03:46,159 --> 00:03:47,561 Rick, you're gonna be streaking through. 121 00:03:47,595 --> 00:03:49,463 So it's gonna be boom, boom. You got it? 122 00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:52,733 I'm surprised you can't see the humor 123 00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:54,635 in what the mascot is doing. 124 00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:56,069 Isn't it a lot like clowning? 125 00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:57,938 What did you just say? Are you insane? 126 00:03:57,971 --> 00:04:00,073 Mascot-ing is nothing like clowning! 127 00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:02,476 Clowns are descendants of the court jester, 128 00:04:02,510 --> 00:04:04,878 truth-teller to the king. 129 00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:07,247 Mascots know nothing of veritas and beauty. 130 00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:09,149 Don't you just make wiener dogs out of balloons? 131 00:04:09,182 --> 00:04:11,785 You are just jealous because no kid ever said, 132 00:04:11,819 --> 00:04:13,220 "Hey, Mom, this year for my birthday, 133 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,822 can we get a narc?" 134 00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:16,123 Okay, look, I'm -- I'm sorry. 135 00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:17,825 I'm just stressed out. This mascot is under my skin! 136 00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:19,092 [ Exhales sharply ] 137 00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:21,662 I can't have him making me look like a fool today. 138 00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:22,930 I just found out a recruiter 139 00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:24,598 from the University of North Central Missouri 140 00:04:24,632 --> 00:04:26,099 is coming to watch me coach. 141 00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:27,468 A recruiter? 142 00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:29,002 Did you apply for a job in Missouri? 143 00:04:29,036 --> 00:04:30,404 I just said I was available. 144 00:04:30,438 --> 00:04:32,272 W-Without consulting me? 145 00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:33,407 [ Scoffs ] Well, you always said you were okay 146 00:04:33,441 --> 00:04:34,975 with moving back to Missouri at some point, 147 00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:37,277 turning our little family into a "farmily." 148 00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:38,346 You know I hate that word. 149 00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:39,647 Why? It's descriptive and fun. 150 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,114 And you know what? Look, if I got this job, 151 00:04:41,148 --> 00:04:43,484 I would be the first openly gay college football coach 152 00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:45,085 in history, 153 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:47,688 and I would think you'd support that. 154 00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:49,823 And I would think that you would ask me 155 00:04:49,857 --> 00:04:51,024 before uprooting our whole farmily -- 156 00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:51,859 Gah. 157 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,695 Damn it, it's in there now! 158 00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:57,130 [ Doorbell rings ] 159 00:04:57,164 --> 00:04:59,600 [ Gasps ] Hi. Hi. 160 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,935 Hello, mis niños. 161 00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,270 Thank you so much for watching the babies 162 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,438 for a few hours. 163 00:05:04,472 --> 00:05:06,106 If you have trouble telling them apart, 164 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,541 just take off their diapers. 165 00:05:07,575 --> 00:05:08,976 I wrote George's name inside his. 166 00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:10,444 There's my great-grandchildren. 167 00:05:10,478 --> 00:05:11,845 Do they recognize faces? 168 00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:13,614 Do I need to start slipping them cash 169 00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,182 to let them know who's in charge? [ Laughs ] 170 00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:17,284 Grandpa, you don't need to buy their love. 171 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,052 Buy mine, and I'll talk you up. 172 00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:21,389 Are we babysitting? Should I cancel golf? 173 00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:23,023 No, no, no, no, I know how important it is 174 00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:24,458 for you and your friends to complain about 175 00:05:24,492 --> 00:05:26,727 how young people today 176 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,696 are slightly different than your generation. 177 00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:31,164 Vin Diesel is just Telly Savalas 178 00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:33,901 without the lollipop and a great catchphrase. 179 00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:37,237 Okay, and you two, I know how precious alone time is 180 00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:38,706 for new parents, 181 00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:40,240 so everybody go. Bye-bye! 182 00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:42,910 Have a great afternoon! 183 00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:44,845 Okay, mis niños, Gloria has planned 184 00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:47,381 a very exciting afternoon for you. 185 00:05:48,549 --> 00:05:50,551 Let's see. 186 00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:53,887 Who is ready to reject Satan 187 00:05:53,921 --> 00:05:56,524 and all his empty promises? 188 00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:57,825 [ Babies cooing ] 189 00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:00,694 Today, I'm having the babies secretly baptized, 190 00:06:00,728 --> 00:06:03,764 both into Catholicism and into the crazy things 191 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:07,901 Absolutely not! Okay, be reasonable, Tashi. 192 00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:12,105 I -- Tonight's a big game for me. 193 00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:13,907 I -- I need to project authority, 194 00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:15,743 and your antics undermine me. 195 00:06:15,776 --> 00:06:16,910 Well, buckle up, Coach, 196 00:06:16,944 --> 00:06:19,046 'cause I'm taking it up a giant notch 197 00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:21,248 and taping today's game for my college apps. 198 00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:22,950 Okay, you're gonna get into college. 199 00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:24,518 You have fantastic grades. 200 00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:26,454 Oh, you're right -- an Asian kid with great grades. 201 00:06:26,487 --> 00:06:27,555 That's fresh. 202 00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:28,922 I need to guarantee a spot. 203 00:06:28,956 --> 00:06:30,558 Mascot-ing sets me apart. 204 00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:31,925 Listen, you little punk. 205 00:06:31,959 --> 00:06:33,293 I could suspend you. 206 00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:34,562 How would your fancy colleges 207 00:06:34,595 --> 00:06:35,896 like to see that on your record, huh? 208 00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:37,465 [ Chuckles ] Nice try, 209 00:06:37,498 --> 00:06:38,699 but, uh, my free expression 210 00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,200 is protected by the Supreme Court ruling 211 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,969 in North Dakota vs. Bandito. 212 00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:44,738 Oh, you -- you halftime hacks. 213 00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:46,774 No scruples, no honor. 214 00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:48,041 [ Scoffs ] 215 00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:50,077 Is this a clown thing again? 216 00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:51,979 We clowns have more humanity 217 00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:55,315 in one of our whimsically oversized pinkies, 218 00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:58,018 more than you do in your entire stinky costume. 219 00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:00,954 You powder-faced elitists, 220 00:07:00,988 --> 00:07:03,123 looking down your red noses at everybody! 221 00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:05,726 Wipe the pie out of your eyes. 222 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,327 The revolution is coming! 223 00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:11,665 [ Sighs ] 224 00:07:11,699 --> 00:07:14,067 Do we really need to do this on a Saturday? I'm sorry. 225 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,402 Nick was supposed to sign these 226 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,004 before he left for Fiji... Mm. 227 00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:18,972 ...and people need to get paid. 228 00:07:19,006 --> 00:07:22,342 We don't all live in mansions. 229 00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:24,444 This is hardly a mansion, Margaret. 230 00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:27,648 Whoa, why are we writing a huge check to a shaman? 231 00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:30,851 Oh, Nick took the interns on a vision quest. 232 00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:32,352 Well, the female ones. 233 00:07:32,385 --> 00:07:33,654 Gross. Mm. 234 00:07:33,687 --> 00:07:35,355 Hey, guys. Scooter's here. 235 00:07:35,388 --> 00:07:36,824 Great. 236 00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:39,259 Can't wait to hear this amazing idea. 237 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,994 Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. 238 00:07:41,028 --> 00:07:43,196 Can we just remember we're on the same team 239 00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:44,264 and Luke can't drop out of school? 240 00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:45,666 So please don't make me the bad guy. 241 00:07:45,699 --> 00:07:46,534 Honey, they're kids. 242 00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:47,801 I don't want to crush their spirit. 243 00:07:47,835 --> 00:07:49,202 They're just -- 244 00:07:49,236 --> 00:07:50,538 They're just looking for a little guidance. 245 00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:52,640 Oh, we're gonna guide them right back into college. 246 00:07:52,673 --> 00:07:54,441 Margaret, this is gonna take a few minutes. 247 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:55,943 Do you mind hanging here while we're in the living room? 248 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:59,112 I'll just wait here in this other living room. 249 00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:01,549 My God, the waste. 250 00:08:01,582 --> 00:08:03,283 Hey! 251 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,118 Mom, Dad, this is Scooter Rivael. 252 00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,320 Phil, Claire, nice to meet you. Hi. 253 00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:09,456 Luke said such wonderful things. 254 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,458 Wait. Um, you're -- you're Scooter? 255 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:12,960 I-I was expecting someone younger, 256 00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:15,529 maybe wearing Heelys and a backpack. 257 00:08:15,563 --> 00:08:16,530 [ Laughter ] 258 00:08:16,564 --> 00:08:18,298 Uh, well, my real name's Scott, 259 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:19,733 but Luke and I met at the club 260 00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:21,669 where everyone calls me Scooter. 261 00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:22,803 Or worse. 262 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,037 [ Both laugh ] 263 00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:26,339 So, let's hear this big idea, huh? 264 00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:29,142 Okay. Well, just like we rehearsed it. 265 00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:30,510 You got this, buddy. 266 00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:34,982 Remember when I took nighttime medicine in the daytime 267 00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,183 and fell down the stairs? 268 00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:37,517 [ Laughs ] Yeah. Remember? 269 00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:39,587 I bent all your fingers back into their sockets. 270 00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:41,655 Well, I had to go to three different doctors, 271 00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:44,224 and every one of them made me fill out the same forms. 272 00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:46,093 Introducing FormFiller Med, 273 00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:47,561 a secure encrypted mobile app 274 00:08:47,595 --> 00:08:49,329 that transfers your medical and insurance info 275 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,363 to your doctor's office 276 00:08:50,397 --> 00:08:51,565 with a tap of your phone. 277 00:08:51,599 --> 00:08:53,667 No more filling out the same boring forms 278 00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:55,102 over and over again. 279 00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:57,104 I ran the idea by a couple old guys at the club, 280 00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:59,072 and they loved it. Yeah, and we weren't even drunk yet. 281 00:08:59,106 --> 00:09:02,042 [ Both laugh ] 282 00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:04,812 Alcoholism kills millions of people a day. 283 00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:07,347 I know what you're thinking -- 284 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,082 Will doctors go for this? 285 00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:11,885 We polled over 200 doctors and medical personnel, 286 00:09:11,919 --> 00:09:15,555 and 93% said that they would happily pay our monthly fee 287 00:09:15,589 --> 00:09:17,224 to reduce their administrative load. 288 00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:18,425 But don't, uh, doctor's offices 289 00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:20,393 all use, like, different systems? 290 00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:21,762 Great question, Claire. 291 00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:23,530 The top two medical software systems 292 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,232 have 90% market share, 293 00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:26,399 and we're compatible with both. 294 00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:28,468 Wow. And, uh, what do you do, Scooter? 295 00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:29,970 Other than befriend children, I mean. 296 00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:31,805 I'm a venture capitalist. 297 00:09:31,839 --> 00:09:35,375 I've invested in 22 companies over the last 30 years 298 00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:36,710 and personally led three of them 299 00:09:36,744 --> 00:09:38,378 from initial concept through IPO. 300 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:39,479 Fascinating. 301 00:09:39,512 --> 00:09:40,948 You ever thought about starting a business 302 00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:42,750 with, um, I don't know, your -- your own son? 303 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:46,486 Okay. 304 00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:49,489 Let me show you the device itself. 305 00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:51,424 All a doctor's office has to do 306 00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:53,560 is plug this into the USB slot 307 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,162 of their reception room computer. 308 00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:56,664 [ Computer beeps ] 309 00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:58,732 A patient opens the app on their phone 310 00:09:58,766 --> 00:10:00,768 and taps it against the device. 311 00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:02,670 And just like that, 312 00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:04,237 all of your encrypted and pertinent 313 00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:05,472 medical and insurance information 314 00:10:05,505 --> 00:10:07,607 is instantly in your doctor's database. 315 00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:09,643 Well, I am so sorry, guys, 316 00:10:09,677 --> 00:10:11,178 but I like filling out medical forms, 317 00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:12,512 and I think there are millions of 318 00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:13,981 hardworking Americans just like me, 319 00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:15,816 so this Shark is out. 320 00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:17,117 Uh, Mom? 321 00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:18,451 Oh, good luck with that one. 322 00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:19,753 She's a lot tougher than me. 323 00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:22,322 Well, it brings me absolutely no joy to say this. 324 00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:24,091 Luke, I'm impressed. 325 00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,993 But...? But nothing. 326 00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:27,160 Do you have any idea 327 00:10:27,194 --> 00:10:29,129 how much I hate filling out those medical forms? 328 00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:31,364 It seems like you have really done your homework, 329 00:10:31,398 --> 00:10:34,702 and most importantly, you got a great partner here. 330 00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:36,369 I say go for it. 331 00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:38,138 Seriously? Mm-hmm. 332 00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:39,539 Margaret: Psst, Claire? 333 00:10:39,572 --> 00:10:41,675 Um, I have Nick on the phone from Fiji. [ Sighs ] 334 00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:42,976 We're in the middle of something, Margaret. 335 00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:45,679 He says it's an emergency. Ugh. 336 00:10:45,713 --> 00:10:47,047 He's on my phone. 337 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:48,515 It's in the solarium. 338 00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:49,983 It's a bay window, Margaret. 339 00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:51,184 We did it, buddy! 340 00:10:51,218 --> 00:10:52,820 Phil: Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. 341 00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:53,987 It's not settled yet. 342 00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:55,622 Well, I thought we heard a yes. 343 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,691 No, I'm -- I'm still having a conversation with my wife. 344 00:10:57,725 --> 00:10:59,626 Please, make yourself comfortable. 345 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:02,029 Maybe kick off those rubber-soled shoes 346 00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:04,865 while I grab you an instantly cold beverage. 347 00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:07,034 "I'm just your husband." "Oh, your husband?" 348 00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:08,235 "You're gossiping. That's what I do." 349 00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:10,070 Looks like someone had a fight. 350 00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:12,072 [ Sighs ] Hey, um, Mrs. Pasternack. 351 00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:13,707 Um, was it that obvious? 352 00:11:13,741 --> 00:11:15,475 Eh. I say that to everyone. 353 00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:16,977 More often than not, I'm right. 354 00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:18,211 Martini? 355 00:11:18,245 --> 00:11:19,212 No thanks, I'm -- I'm good. 356 00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:20,914 No, you're not. 357 00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:22,215 [ Sighs ] Marriage is hard. [ Slurping ] 358 00:11:22,249 --> 00:11:23,717 I know! 359 00:11:23,751 --> 00:11:26,754 Everyone's always trying to change each other. 360 00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:28,889 It's like, I'm an adult film director 361 00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:30,758 who collects Precious Moments Dolls. 362 00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:31,624 Let me be me! 363 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:34,728 So, what's up with you two? 364 00:11:34,762 --> 00:11:37,597 Uh, Cam started looking for a job out of state 365 00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:38,766 with-- without consulting me. 366 00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:41,168 Don't worry. You'll meet someone else. 367 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:42,535 No, he wants me to go with him. 368 00:11:42,569 --> 00:11:44,437 Ah, that's the Cam I know. 369 00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:46,439 He's always going on about you. 370 00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:47,741 He is? 371 00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:50,010 Haven't you ever seen his Facebook page? 372 00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:51,611 He's obsessed with you. 373 00:11:51,644 --> 00:11:54,514 "How gorgeous does Mitchell look in this picture?" 374 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:56,116 Aww. 375 00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:58,585 "Proud to be married to a man who fights for justice." 376 00:11:58,618 --> 00:12:00,954 Aww. "Mitchell over his cold. 377 00:12:00,988 --> 00:12:03,190 Hope my hubby brings the love tonight." 378 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,458 Ew, my dad liked that. Euch. 379 00:12:05,492 --> 00:12:06,860 All right, Lily, I'm on my way to the game. 380 00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:08,061 How bad is it? 381 00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:09,797 Lily: The dolphin is eviscerating Dad. 382 00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:13,000 Oh! Aah! Aah. 383 00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:16,303 Oh, if it was me, he would totally do something. 384 00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:18,271 But what?! Ah, just give me a sign! 385 00:12:18,305 --> 00:12:20,107 [ Inhales sharply ] 386 00:12:21,608 --> 00:12:25,112 Is there any way I could just throw money at it? 387 00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:26,746 [ Foot tapping, doorbell rings ] 388 00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:29,649 [ Gasps ] Ay. Ay. 389 00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:40,794 [ Coughs ] 390 00:12:40,828 --> 00:12:42,595 Except for Father Ramirez, 391 00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:44,131 all the priests I asked 392 00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:47,968 were "uncomfortable" with my secret baptism. 393 00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:51,271 They said it was "borderline kidnapping," 394 00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:54,007 that they found my trickery "devilish." 395 00:12:54,041 --> 00:12:58,311 It's like, when did Catholics become so judgmental? 396 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,668 [ Both laugh ] 397 00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:29,476 [ Door opens ] 398 00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:30,677 [ Gasps ] 399 00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:32,846 Jay, you're back! 400 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,014 Why do you sound surprised? 401 00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:35,315 You cut my brakes or something? 402 00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:36,516 [ Laughs ] 403 00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:38,485 What the hell's a priest doing here? 404 00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:40,553 Oh, it's just a check-up. 405 00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:43,991 One of the babies maybe is...possessed. 406 00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:45,358 Wait, are you baptizing them 407 00:13:45,392 --> 00:13:47,327 behind Haley and what's-his-name's back? 408 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,129 You can't do that to other people's kids! 409 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,130 It's not a big deal. 410 00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:52,565 If it works, the babies are protected, 411 00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:54,134 their souls are safe, 412 00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,169 and they're gonna spend eternity in Heaven. 413 00:13:56,203 --> 00:13:57,304 If it doesn't, 414 00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:58,738 it's just like I gave them a little bath. 415 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,146 "Viejo." I know that word. Hmm? 416 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:08,148 Did Father Time here just call me old? 417 00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:09,917 Okay, let's all calm down. 418 00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:12,485 Let's introduce the babies to the one true God, 419 00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:14,554 then we'll have some coffee cake. 420 00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:16,156 You know you're crossing a line here. 421 00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,491 Haley and Dylan doesn't even have to know. 422 00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:20,093 Know what? 423 00:14:20,127 --> 00:14:21,929 Why is there a priest here? 424 00:14:21,962 --> 00:14:23,897 I told you, Poppy's possessed! 425 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:28,868 Why didn't you just ask us? 426 00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:33,240 I did. I did ask you. 427 00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:35,542 You said yes. I think you were very drunk. 428 00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:38,011 Haley, New-Phil, 429 00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:39,446 do you really want this baptism? 430 00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:40,447 I don't know. 431 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,715 We've barely thought about it. 432 00:14:42,749 --> 00:14:45,752 Dylan did say that he was going to research some religions. 433 00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:48,355 I'm halfway through this Jim Jones documentary. 434 00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:50,390 So far, that religion seems pretty cool. 435 00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:52,759 I'm sorry that I didn't ask you before. 436 00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:55,462 I really wanted to do this for George and Poppy. 437 00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:58,365 Baptism is gonna allow their souls 438 00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,899 to find eternal peace. 439 00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:01,101 What's the catch? 440 00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:02,936 Well, there's a lot of donations 441 00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:04,704 and some shame around sex, 442 00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,239 but Christmas is fun. 443 00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:08,541 Ugh. I don't even know how I can decide, 444 00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:10,810 but I guess it can't hurt. 445 00:15:10,843 --> 00:15:12,312 Gloria: Yahoo! 446 00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:14,381 You're going to the kingdom of Heaven. 447 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,883 And there, you're going to join the souls 448 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,418 of some of our greats, 449 00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:20,920 like Joan of Arc, Mother Theresa, 450 00:15:20,954 --> 00:15:23,256 Danny DeVito when he dies. 451 00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:24,457 Go. 452 00:15:24,491 --> 00:15:25,625 Yes. 453 00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:32,332 Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What now? 454 00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:33,566 Well, I'm sorry. 455 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,335 It just -- It suddenly just got very real, 456 00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:37,004 and it does not feel right, 457 00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:38,338 and I don't know why, 458 00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:40,340 Grandpa, am I making too much of this? I -- 459 00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:42,809 Don't ask him because he doesn't even believe in God. 460 00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:44,244 I just don't think 461 00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,479 you need church, costumes, all that stuff 462 00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:48,015 to feel a higher power. 463 00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:49,949 But you think there is one? 464 00:15:49,983 --> 00:15:51,851 Yeah, I felt it when my kids were born, 465 00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:53,753 and, um, when I met this crazy woman here 466 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,855 that I want to spend the rest of my life with, 467 00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:58,358 but, you know, it can be just a normal everyday thing, too. 468 00:15:58,391 --> 00:15:59,759 You know, like the way it makes me feel 469 00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,861 when I hear a baseball thump into a mitt 470 00:16:01,894 --> 00:16:04,297 or the way Tom Waits' voice 471 00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:07,967 can somehow be ugly and beautiful at the same time. 472 00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:09,469 Am I making any sense? 473 00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:11,104 You know, last year, 474 00:16:11,138 --> 00:16:12,872 Dylan and I went to Yosemite, 475 00:16:12,905 --> 00:16:15,308 and we woke up really early one morning, 476 00:16:15,342 --> 00:16:18,045 and it was just us and those gorgeous mountains, 477 00:16:18,078 --> 00:16:21,048 a bunch of huge trees, and a family of deer. 478 00:16:22,249 --> 00:16:24,051 It was so beautiful, 479 00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:26,553 and it made me feel like I was connected 480 00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:27,954 to something bigger than myself. 481 00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:29,022 [ Chuckles ] 482 00:16:29,056 --> 00:16:30,157 You know what, maybe one day 483 00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:31,691 we can get them baptized in a church, 484 00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:33,326 but for now, 485 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,962 why don't we take them up to Yosemite 486 00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:38,865 and look up and say thank you? 487 00:16:38,898 --> 00:16:42,402 That sounds like a great plan, Haley. 488 00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:44,237 [ Babies coo ] Gloria: Yeah. 489 00:16:44,271 --> 00:16:45,805 And maybe roast some marshmallows while you're there 490 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:48,641 so that they get used to being around fire. 491 00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:50,710 No, Nick, you can't keep taking money from marketing. 492 00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:51,911 They need -- 493 00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:53,346 What? 494 00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:54,914 No, I will not stay on the phone 495 00:16:54,947 --> 00:16:56,349 while you moon a cruise ship. 496 00:16:56,383 --> 00:16:57,350 Are you -- 497 00:16:57,384 --> 00:16:58,385 Phil: Claire? Hang on. 498 00:16:58,418 --> 00:16:59,252 Claire. 499 00:16:59,286 --> 00:17:00,487 What was that out there? 500 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,055 I thought we were supposed to be on the same team. 501 00:17:02,089 --> 00:17:03,656 We are. I -- 502 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:04,991 They've got a great idea. 503 00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:06,493 You're just jealous because Luke went to Scooter 504 00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:07,494 and not to you. 505 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,429 That is not true. 506 00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:10,997 Really? You don't think they're on to something? 507 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,532 It's an amazing idea. Okay. 508 00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:15,102 But why didn't he come to me? 509 00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:17,737 Because you love everything I do. 510 00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:19,906 I wanted to make sure this was actually a good idea. 511 00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:21,408 That is so smart. 512 00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:23,443 How is someone this handsome -- 513 00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:26,012 Okay, this is what I'm talking about. 514 00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,915 I love inventing with you, but this is a business. 515 00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:31,084 And Scooter has a lot of experience. 516 00:17:31,118 --> 00:17:32,419 That doesn't take away from 517 00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:34,020 all of the things that we've made together. 518 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,788 All of that stuff brought me here. 519 00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:38,858 Really? You can't spell FormFiller without Phil. 520 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:40,693 But you know you can, right? 521 00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:42,395 The man's hurting. I'm throwing him a bone. 522 00:17:42,429 --> 00:17:44,231 I'm proud of you, Luke. [ Sighs ] 523 00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:46,433 Damn it, I'm proud of Scooter, too. 524 00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:48,535 Wow. 525 00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:51,037 You know, seeing your guys' pitch, 526 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:54,974 and the -- the passion, that sparkle in your eye, 527 00:17:55,007 --> 00:17:58,077 I -- I don't remember the last time 528 00:17:58,111 --> 00:17:59,912 I saw you care about anything that much. 529 00:17:59,946 --> 00:18:01,614 [ Sighs ] 530 00:18:01,648 --> 00:18:03,082 I don't remember the last time I did. 531 00:18:03,116 --> 00:18:04,584 That's super hurtful. 532 00:18:04,617 --> 00:18:06,786 No, sweetie, I'm talking about work. 533 00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:09,422 I -- Honestly, I used to get up in the morning, 534 00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:11,891 and I couldn't wait to get to the office. 535 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,760 And now I dread it. 536 00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:14,927 I do. 537 00:18:14,961 --> 00:18:20,233 I miss loving my job or even liking it. 538 00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:23,503 Now all I do is put out fires and manage complaints 539 00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:25,772 and -- and lose sleep over stuff 540 00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:28,508 that really doesn't matter. 541 00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:32,479 Yeah. I think I'm -- 542 00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:35,014 I think I'm gonna quit my job. 543 00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:36,082 Are you serious? 544 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:38,084 Yeah. 545 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:39,652 Is that -- Is that crazy? 546 00:18:39,686 --> 00:18:43,256 Uh, no. No, not necessarily. 547 00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:44,824 I mean, crazy is sticking with something 548 00:18:44,857 --> 00:18:46,826 that's been making you miserable for months 549 00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:48,528 when there are so many companies out there 550 00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:50,663 who would want someone with your skills. 551 00:18:50,697 --> 00:18:52,999 Hey, Nick, you still there? 552 00:18:53,032 --> 00:18:55,768 I told my son this morning that he should never quit. 553 00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:57,637 Well, I was wrong. 554 00:18:57,670 --> 00:18:58,505 I'm out. 555 00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:00,340 [ Cellphone beeps, thuds ] 556 00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:03,676 Aah! That felt so good! 557 00:19:03,710 --> 00:19:05,512 It was so scary, but it was so good. 558 00:19:05,545 --> 00:19:07,380 [ Laughs ] I'm so proud of you, too! 559 00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:08,381 Ohh! 560 00:19:08,415 --> 00:19:09,482 Hear, hear! 561 00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:11,551 To our next adventure! 562 00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:14,020 Oh, I found this in the wine cellar. 563 00:19:14,053 --> 00:19:15,988 It's a basement, Margaret. 564 00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:17,390 Cameron: No, no, close the gap! 565 00:19:17,424 --> 00:19:19,292 Ball, ball, ball, ball, ball! 566 00:19:19,326 --> 00:19:20,993 Oh! [ Groans ] 567 00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:23,663 Cameron: It was a nightmare. 568 00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:25,498 The biggest opportunity of my career, 569 00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:27,200 and I couldn't focus. 570 00:19:27,234 --> 00:19:29,736 I tried not to make any mockable movements. 571 00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:33,973 David Tashi was just operating at too high a level. 572 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,675 But then something wonderful happened. 573 00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:40,146 [ Yells ] 574 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,382 Oh. You hurt me. 575 00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:43,683 [ Crowd chanting "Dolphin!" ] 576 00:19:43,716 --> 00:19:45,852 That's when I realized I knew that chicken -- 577 00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:47,086 those weak punches, 578 00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:49,522 a run that said "Pick me last" in gym class. 579 00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:50,990 It was my Mitchell. 580 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,360 Okay, guys, come on! Let's huddle up. Huddle up. 581 00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:54,527 Let's get out there and play our hearts out. 582 00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:56,329 Let's go, let's go! Bring it in! 583 00:19:56,363 --> 00:19:57,864 Pitkowski, come on. 584 00:19:57,897 --> 00:19:59,332 Something more interesting going on over there? 585 00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:00,400 Yeah, does anybody else 586 00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:02,435 see the dolphin fighting the chicken? 587 00:20:02,469 --> 00:20:04,203 'Cause I got hit pretty hard in the head earlier. 588 00:20:04,237 --> 00:20:05,204 [ Band plays ] 589 00:20:05,238 --> 00:20:06,406 All right, let's go. 590 00:20:06,439 --> 00:20:07,840 All right, so this is what we're gonna do. 591 00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:09,842 We're gonna go up, right, you're gonna be cutting... 592 00:20:14,681 --> 00:20:15,014 Where's Daddy? 593 00:20:16,283 --> 00:20:17,517 He went to go return the chicken costume. 594 00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:19,452 That was like two hours ago. 595 00:20:19,486 --> 00:20:20,987 You don't think... 596 00:20:21,588 --> 00:20:23,590 Cameron: Okay, Mitchell? 597 00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:25,124 Is that you in the mascot costume? 598 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,929 Is someone forcing you to do that? 599 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,765 Okay, then get in the car now. 600 00:20:32,799 --> 00:20:33,900 I stayed in California. 601 00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:35,735 I married outside of my religion. 602 00:20:35,768 --> 00:20:38,571 I spend every waking moment with your family. 603 00:20:38,605 --> 00:20:40,740 But my love is not unconditional. 604 00:20:42,509 --> 00:20:43,743 O-Okay. 605 00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:45,645 Alright. 606 00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:48,014 I love it when they honk for me.