1 00:00:01,035 --> 00:00:03,337 (exhales deeply) 2 00:00:03,437 --> 00:00:04,772 Honey, what are you doing? 3 00:00:04,872 --> 00:00:06,740 I just saw this incredible telekinesis video. 4 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,742 I'm trying to make a piece of bacon levitate. 5 00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:10,711 Don't you have to, I don't know, work? 6 00:00:10,811 --> 00:00:12,580 Are you saying it'll never happen? 7 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:14,582 Is there perhaps a more colorful way 8 00:00:14,682 --> 00:00:15,583 of saying that? 9 00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:17,118 I know you're trying to get me to say 10 00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:18,386 "It'll happen when pigs fly." 11 00:00:18,486 --> 00:00:19,620 That counts. 12 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:20,788 -(gasps) -(exhales sharply) 13 00:00:20,888 --> 00:00:22,256 What? 14 00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:23,624 Oh, my gosh! 15 00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:25,093 Good morning, Earth mates. 16 00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:26,560 Morning, Farr-- Ahh-ha. 17 00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:28,462 Oh, my lower back is killing me. 18 00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:31,199 Has anyone seen my healing crystal? 19 00:00:31,299 --> 00:00:32,800 Mm, that may be the only thing of yours 20 00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:34,302 we haven't seen. 21 00:00:34,402 --> 00:00:36,904 Dylan's mom, Farrah, came to see the babies, 22 00:00:37,004 --> 00:00:39,707 and then she found out that her polyamorous quad 23 00:00:39,807 --> 00:00:41,609 was downgraded to a triad. 24 00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:43,211 Now we're stuck with her. 25 00:00:43,311 --> 00:00:45,045 Polyamory. Can you imagine? 26 00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:46,814 (chuckles) No. 27 00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:50,050 She needs to go. 28 00:01:02,663 --> 00:01:04,498 (drumming) 29 00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:07,301 * Oh-ohhhh * 30 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:08,636 Farrah! Farrah! 31 00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,438 -Ohhhhh! -Farrah! 32 00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:12,640 Do you have to do that right here? 33 00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:14,142 Oh, I am so sorry. 34 00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:15,509 I didn't realize you wanted it 35 00:01:15,609 --> 00:01:17,145 to keep flooding in the Philippines. 36 00:01:17,245 --> 00:01:18,579 I don't want it to keep flooding 37 00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:19,813 in the Philippines, Claire. 38 00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:20,948 It's okay. 39 00:01:21,048 --> 00:01:22,450 -I'll just go in the other room. -Great. 40 00:01:22,550 --> 00:01:24,352 (cellphone ringing) 41 00:01:24,452 --> 00:01:25,419 Ugh. 42 00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:27,155 It's Jerry. I can't. 43 00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:29,790 It's gonna be 45 minutes about how much he misses Mom 44 00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:32,493 and then some overshare about their sex life. 45 00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:33,694 Claire, he's family. 46 00:01:33,794 --> 00:01:34,795 -(sighs) -(ringing stops) 47 00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:36,297 Jerry. 48 00:01:36,397 --> 00:01:37,365 How are you? 49 00:01:37,465 --> 00:01:38,432 Yeah. 50 00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:40,534 No, I know. We miss her, too. 51 00:01:40,634 --> 00:01:42,035 The babies are great. 52 00:01:42,136 --> 00:01:44,138 Yeah, constantly exploring, always sticking their fingers 53 00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:45,639 -in everything. -Hmm. 54 00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:47,775 (laughs) 55 00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:49,610 Oh, whoa, yeah. What a-- 56 00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:51,945 What a fun image of my late mother-in-law. 57 00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:53,681 Really? 58 00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:55,349 Let me just-- Let me just check to see 59 00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:56,484 -if we're gonna be around. -(cellphone clicks) 60 00:01:56,584 --> 00:01:58,286 Jerry is following 61 00:01:58,386 --> 00:01:59,687 the butterfly migration to Mexico 62 00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:01,789 and wants to stop by tomorrow to say hi. 63 00:02:01,889 --> 00:02:03,357 No way. Make up an excuse. 64 00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:04,825 I'm a terrible liar. 65 00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:05,859 Tough. 66 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,127 The last thing we need around here 67 00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:08,962 is another hippie kook. 68 00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:10,030 Oh, it finally happened. 69 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,332 I'm my father. 70 00:02:11,432 --> 00:02:13,701 Oh, my goddesses, there you are. 71 00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:15,002 (chuckles) 72 00:02:15,102 --> 00:02:17,338 Oh, Claire, would you be comfortable 73 00:02:17,438 --> 00:02:19,640 rubbing this just above my buttocks 74 00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:21,875 while I offer up a Tibetan pain chant? 75 00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,544 Doesn't sound like me. 76 00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:26,847 But I might know someone who could help you out. 77 00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:28,048 Oh. 78 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:31,685 Honestly, Jerry, it's that, uh... 79 00:02:31,785 --> 00:02:33,687 Claire and I have-- have hit a rough patch. 80 00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:36,857 She's been huffing... cans of whipped cream. 81 00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:38,359 I mean... 82 00:02:38,459 --> 00:02:39,493 (whispering) Help me. 83 00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:40,728 (normal voice) Underneath our bed 84 00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:43,163 looks like backstage at a pie-eating contest. 85 00:02:43,264 --> 00:02:45,065 -Invite him here. -(whispering) What? 86 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,567 Just get him here as fast as you can. Come on. 87 00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,101 Uh, actually, Jerry, everything's fine. 88 00:02:48,202 --> 00:02:49,437 Claire just agreed to seek help. 89 00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:50,671 See you tomorrow. 90 00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:51,839 -(cellphone beeps) -What the hell was that? 91 00:02:51,939 --> 00:02:53,341 Jerry's lonely, Farrah's lonely, 92 00:02:53,441 --> 00:02:54,875 they both glom onto us. 93 00:02:54,975 --> 00:02:57,044 We set them up, they'll glom onto each other, 94 00:02:57,144 --> 00:02:58,579 and then she can bang his drum. 95 00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:00,348 My beautiful genius. 96 00:03:00,448 --> 00:03:01,715 Oop, sorry. Hold on. 97 00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:04,017 (gasps) Oooh. 98 00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:05,519 (sighs) Ooooh. 99 00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:08,256 Now I just have to find someone to set you up with. 100 00:03:08,356 --> 00:03:09,890 Oh, breaking out the good stuff, huh? 101 00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:11,425 Well, you know what? 102 00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,126 We're finally close friends with a lesbian couple, 103 00:03:13,227 --> 00:03:16,029 and-- and I-- I want them to feel as special to us 104 00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:17,531 as if they were real gays. 105 00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:19,032 Cam, they're just as gay as we are. 106 00:03:19,132 --> 00:03:20,568 Okay, hold on. One moment. 107 00:03:20,668 --> 00:03:22,536 -Bink! -Okay, well, as I am. 108 00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:24,738 -Okay. -(clicks tongue) 109 00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:26,139 -Hi. -CAMPBELL: Oh, my gosh. 110 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,576 You guys are such a cute family. 111 00:03:28,676 --> 00:03:29,777 Oh, gosh, that picture. 112 00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:31,111 That was taken at an amusement park. 113 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,246 That's not the real Bigfoot. 114 00:03:32,346 --> 00:03:33,814 (laughs) "Real Bigfoot," 115 00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:35,816 -Oh, my God. You're so funny. -Yeah. Sure. Okay. 116 00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:37,117 Let's go with "he was making a joke." 117 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,052 So, you guys, speaking of families... 118 00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:41,121 We're thinking of starting one of our own. 119 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,590 -(gasps) Congratulations. -Amazing. 120 00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:44,558 Oh, how are you gonna do it? What's the plan? 121 00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:46,760 Actually, we wanted to ask you something about that. 122 00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:49,563 Eh, there comes a point in every gay man's life 123 00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:52,266 when a lesbian couple asks him for his sperm. 124 00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:54,001 -Unless you're Mitchell and me. -Yeah. 125 00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:55,736 All of our friends have been asked, 126 00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:57,471 while we have been cruelly overlooked. 127 00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:58,472 It's painful. 128 00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:00,474 It's like not getting picked to play kickball. 129 00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:02,476 Well, that never happened to me. 130 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,578 I was my kickball team's captain. 131 00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:06,146 Well, only after our star 132 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,482 broke his leg and had to be put down. 133 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,484 -He was a-- -A mule. 134 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,019 From a mile away. 135 00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:13,787 Go ahead. Ask us anything. 136 00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:15,823 Well, you know we think the world of you guys. 137 00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:17,358 -Yes? -And we, you. 138 00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:18,459 First of all, 139 00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:19,693 would you judge us if we didn't adopt? 140 00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:20,794 Is that selfish? 141 00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:22,596 -Um, no. -No. 142 00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:23,864 Oh, that's such a relief. 143 00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:25,366 Now, the next step 144 00:04:25,466 --> 00:04:27,167 is finding someone who can-- 145 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:28,168 Donate? 146 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,202 Yes. 147 00:04:29,303 --> 00:04:30,704 You know, we don't want anyone involved 148 00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:32,373 financially or otherwise, 149 00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:33,607 so we were just thinking of going to the sperm bank. 150 00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:34,775 That's a good option, 151 00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:36,276 but make sure the janitors are handsome, 152 00:04:36,377 --> 00:04:38,211 because, you know, they have the keys to everything. 153 00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:40,481 Well, we also thought about asking my brother. 154 00:04:40,581 --> 00:04:42,049 Oh, you don't want to go down that road. 155 00:04:42,149 --> 00:04:43,050 It's too complicated. 156 00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:45,218 "My daddy, my uncle, my daddy, my uncle." 157 00:04:45,319 --> 00:04:46,219 It's Chinatown. 158 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:47,655 Yeah, you want someone that-- 159 00:04:47,755 --> 00:04:48,856 you know, with a little distance, 160 00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:49,990 that you know and-- and trust. 161 00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:51,892 Who's attractive and healthy. 162 00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:53,827 And who hasn't had mental illness in their family 163 00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:55,829 in at least a generation and a half. 164 00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:57,631 Well, that's the dream. (chuckles) 165 00:04:57,731 --> 00:04:59,500 -Well, dreams can come true. -Mm-hmm. 166 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,402 Oh, my God. Thank you, guys. 167 00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:03,136 No, thank you. 168 00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:04,505 If you think of someone, 169 00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:05,739 -will you let us know? -Yeah. 170 00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:09,477 -Lesbians. -Lesbians. 171 00:05:09,577 --> 00:05:11,311 -Here's your cappuccino. -Ah. 172 00:05:11,412 --> 00:05:12,546 None for me. 173 00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:15,015 I don't need to be sharp to experience the empty void 174 00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:16,984 that is life without Sherry Shaker. 175 00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:19,319 What are these little drawings in the milk? 176 00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:21,021 That's me staring out a window. 177 00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:22,823 I made the stars with my tears. 178 00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:26,326 Ay, papi, if you can survive me driving three blocks 179 00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:27,695 with you on the roof of my car, 180 00:05:27,795 --> 00:05:29,196 you can survive this. 181 00:05:29,296 --> 00:05:30,364 When did that happen? 182 00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:32,232 It wasn't gonna work out with Sherry anyway. 183 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,233 She's Canadian. 184 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,068 They have ducks on their money. 185 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:36,604 They sell milk in a bag. 186 00:05:36,704 --> 00:05:39,507 I'll be in my room if anyone needs me. 187 00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:41,609 Who am I kidding? No one needs me. 188 00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:44,344 Ay, papi, these things have a way of working out. 189 00:05:44,445 --> 00:05:46,079 I promise. 190 00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:47,581 You promise? 191 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:48,716 What did you do? 192 00:05:48,816 --> 00:05:50,451 I called in a favor. 193 00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:53,020 Luke! 194 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,188 Again? I thought we were even. 195 00:05:55,288 --> 00:05:56,890 I need you to do something for Manny. 196 00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:58,258 It'll mean the world to him. 197 00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,760 Okay, I guess. 198 00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:01,695 I want you to go to Sherry's improv show, 199 00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:02,930 talk him up to her. 200 00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:05,065 I want her to regret breaking up with him. 201 00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:06,467 No. Not that. 202 00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:07,968 Anything but improv. 203 00:06:08,068 --> 00:06:10,203 Improv is no different than getting waterboarded. 204 00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:11,972 Just stay calm, 205 00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:13,373 go to a pleasant place in your mind, 206 00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:15,375 and remember that you're not actually dying. 207 00:06:15,476 --> 00:06:17,077 Fine. I'll do it. 208 00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:19,079 Good boy. 209 00:06:19,179 --> 00:06:20,714 Go back to sleep. 210 00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:22,115 Why'd you bring a crowbar? 211 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,151 No reason. 212 00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:25,786 Gloria, we should not be involved. 213 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,555 You know what my dad always said to me 214 00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:29,222 every time I was down? 215 00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:30,424 Nothing. 216 00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:32,392 I learned to figure everything out on my own. 217 00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:34,962 This is your least attractive quality. 218 00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:36,430 Where is your empathy? 219 00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:38,065 I have empathy. 220 00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:40,067 That's the one where you care about people, right? 221 00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:42,970 You don't go out of your way for anyone. 222 00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:44,738 Yes, I do. 223 00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:47,240 You remember that little valet at the club? 224 00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:48,676 If I hadn't got him fired, 225 00:06:48,776 --> 00:06:51,144 he'd still be moving everybody's seats up. 226 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:52,780 Okay, here we go. 227 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:56,617 Some apricot jam from an old family recipe. 228 00:06:56,717 --> 00:06:58,118 Not that you would be interested 229 00:06:58,218 --> 00:06:59,487 in any of my family recipes. 230 00:06:59,587 --> 00:07:00,821 Is everything okay? 231 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,590 -Uh-- Uh-- -Why don't you want us to be your donor? 232 00:07:02,690 --> 00:07:04,658 -Oh. -Uh-- D-- It's okay. Just say it. 233 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,326 -You're put off by my red hair. -Or is it his freckles? 234 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,028 -Or my tendency to burn. -Or is it his-- 235 00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:09,697 -Can this one please be about you? -Yeah, yeah. 236 00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:11,364 Wait, are you saying that you would donate for us? 237 00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:13,501 Honestly, we would love that, 238 00:07:13,601 --> 00:07:14,535 but we were afraid to put you on the spot, 239 00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:16,470 and we didn't think you'd say yes. 240 00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:18,972 -Oh-- Well, of-- of course we'd say yes! -We adore you! 241 00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:21,041 -Oh! (chuckles) -Molly, I think we just found our daddy. 242 00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:22,109 (all chuckling) 243 00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:23,811 Oh, my God. Okay. 244 00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,613 Okay, so, which one of us do you want? 245 00:07:25,713 --> 00:07:26,547 I don't know. We haven't even had a chance 246 00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:27,515 -to think about it. -Yeah. 247 00:07:27,615 --> 00:07:28,516 Well, would it be helpful 248 00:07:28,616 --> 00:07:29,883 if we, you know, walked around 249 00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:32,686 so you could take us in from shoulder to shank? 250 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:33,954 It's not the county fair. 251 00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:35,623 Alright, well, maybe we'll just go outside 252 00:07:35,723 --> 00:07:37,224 and, I don't know, kick something? 253 00:07:37,324 --> 00:07:38,726 Or-- Or we could do a puzzle? 254 00:07:38,826 --> 00:07:40,227 Or we could spell Connecticut? 255 00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:41,529 Why don't you guys just decide? 256 00:07:41,629 --> 00:07:42,863 We're-- We're happy either way. 257 00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,832 Shouldn't be a problem. 258 00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:50,871 JAY: Oh, good, you're both here. 259 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,973 Listen, I was thinking about yesterday, 260 00:07:53,073 --> 00:07:53,907 how upset you are, 261 00:07:54,241 --> 00:07:55,809 and how you say I don't care about people's feelings, 262 00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:57,177 so check this out. 263 00:07:57,277 --> 00:07:58,646 Brandi, get in here. 264 00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:00,347 BRANDI: I'm not done with my cigarette! 265 00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:01,549 What did you do? 266 00:08:01,649 --> 00:08:02,750 I was trying to figure a way 267 00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:04,084 how to help Manny to move on, 268 00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:05,819 and all of a sudden, I met this little angel. 269 00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:06,854 Brandi? 270 00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:07,888 BRANDI: Hold on! 271 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:10,090 The best part's right at the filter! 272 00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:11,091 You're gonna love her. 273 00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:12,860 She runs towels at the car wash. 274 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,728 -Why did you encourage this? -N-- 275 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:15,863 Hey, now, why settle for Sherry 276 00:08:15,963 --> 00:08:16,997 when you can have a little Brandi? 277 00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:18,398 I'll admit, that's good. 278 00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:21,535 (chuckling) Holy (bleep) 279 00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:22,536 (laughs) 280 00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:24,672 This house! 281 00:08:24,772 --> 00:08:27,107 So, this is how come you can afford the lava wax. 282 00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:28,876 Brandi, this is my wife, Gloria, 283 00:08:28,976 --> 00:08:31,044 and this stud is my son, Manny. 284 00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:33,013 Brandi, I'm sure you're very nice, 285 00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:35,616 but I'm dealing with losing the love of my life, 286 00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:37,585 -and I just need some time. -(scoffs) 287 00:08:37,685 --> 00:08:40,353 I know what you're going through, honey. 288 00:08:40,453 --> 00:08:41,889 My man saw Free Solo 289 00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:43,791 and tried to scale the local bank. 290 00:08:43,891 --> 00:08:45,859 He died doing what he loved-- 291 00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:47,527 Daring the cops to shoot him. 292 00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:49,529 Jay, should I scream at you here, 293 00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:50,598 or should we do it in the kitchen? 294 00:08:50,698 --> 00:08:52,199 I could go for a little snack. 295 00:08:52,299 --> 00:08:53,601 Uh, listen, you guys get to know each other. 296 00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:55,102 Manny, offer her a drink at the bar. 297 00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:56,236 You got anything with cinnamon? 298 00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:58,038 I'm not particular. (giggles) 299 00:08:58,138 --> 00:08:59,406 What were you thinking 300 00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:01,408 bringing a girl like that here? 301 00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:02,643 What are you talking about? 302 00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:03,744 -Brandi's a ton of fun. -(sighs) 303 00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:05,746 Oh, sure, maybe you don't bring her home to Mom. 304 00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:07,648 -That's literally what you did. -(doorbell rings) 305 00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:10,383 I hope that that's her parole officer. 306 00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:15,222 (gasps) Ah, Luke! 307 00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:17,257 What a surprise! 308 00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:18,391 (door closes) 309 00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:20,060 How did your talk with Sherry go? 310 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:21,328 Not well. 311 00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:22,495 GLORIA: What do you mean? 312 00:09:22,596 --> 00:09:24,765 Did you mention to her that Manny was retweeted 313 00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:26,166 by one of the Property Brothers? 314 00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:27,267 Yeah, I brought that up. 315 00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:28,501 And what did she say? 316 00:09:28,602 --> 00:09:29,837 Uh, does she miss him? 317 00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:31,171 Will she take him back? 318 00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:33,406 -I don't think so. -Why not? 319 00:09:33,506 --> 00:09:36,844 Well, we kind of... kissed. 320 00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,112 What? 321 00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:40,280 Well, the Brandi plan's 322 00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:42,282 looking pretty good right now, huh? 323 00:09:43,951 --> 00:09:45,252 Hello, family. 324 00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:47,755 (chuckles) Oh. Hi, Jerry. Welcome. 325 00:09:47,855 --> 00:09:48,989 -How are you? -Sorry. 326 00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,523 I would've knocked, but you know I abhor violence. 327 00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:52,626 Hey. Oh (grunts) sorry, 328 00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:54,127 I was grinding polenta for our lunch. 329 00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:55,128 My arm's kinda tender. 330 00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:56,596 Polenta elbow is a real thing. 331 00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:58,265 Marianne Williamson was the only candidate 332 00:09:58,365 --> 00:09:59,667 with the guts to talk about it. 333 00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:01,835 So, Jer, how you doing? 334 00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,103 I'm hanging in there. 335 00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:04,805 Very happy to see you both. 336 00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:06,306 But the truth is, Claire, in this light, 337 00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:07,641 you're reminding me so much of your mother. 338 00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:09,542 -Well, it's the hair. -Same neck. 339 00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:10,878 (footsteps approaching) 340 00:10:10,978 --> 00:10:12,713 Oh, you must be Jerry. 341 00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:14,715 I'm Dylan's mom, Farrah. 342 00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:16,016 How wonderful to meet you. 343 00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,617 Full disclosure-- I'm a hugger. 344 00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:19,687 I'm sorry, I'm not very comfortable with that, 345 00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:21,021 because I'm a kisser. 346 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:23,523 -(chuckles softly, smooches) -(chuckles) 347 00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:24,725 Oh, what a lovely necklace. 348 00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:25,726 Well, thank you. 349 00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:28,061 It was made from the wreckage of a Japanese whaling ship. 350 00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:29,963 How can the same people that gave us the haiku 351 00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:31,531 want to hunt such a graceful creature? 352 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,000 Uh, well, I can guarantee 353 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:34,802 that absolutely no vegetables were harmed 354 00:10:34,902 --> 00:10:36,069 in the making of this salad. 355 00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:37,070 Actually, Claire, 356 00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:38,739 it's been proven that plants feel pain. 357 00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:40,741 Yes, they scream when you rip them from the ground. 358 00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:43,143 Oh, um, then you're gonna hate 359 00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:44,978 what happened to these grapes. 360 00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:46,714 That's okay. They're drunk. 361 00:10:46,814 --> 00:10:48,215 (both laugh) 362 00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:51,018 Oh. Well, it is such a nice day outside. 363 00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:52,052 Why don't the two of you 364 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:53,386 enjoy your wine in the backyard 365 00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:54,888 while we finish setting up in here? 366 00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,223 What a lovely idea. 367 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,158 Oh, Farrah, did you know 368 00:10:58,258 --> 00:11:00,761 that Jerry is following the butterfly migration? 369 00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:02,229 All the way to Méjico? 370 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:03,831 I'm gonna spend the winter and spring 371 00:11:03,931 --> 00:11:05,733 hammock camping in the Sierra Chincua sanctuary. 372 00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:07,768 That is one of my favorite places on this Earth. 373 00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:09,737 -Oh, you've been there? -Not in ages, 374 00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:11,905 but I would love to visit in this life. 375 00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,874 Oh... (door opens) 376 00:11:13,974 --> 00:11:16,609 -This is going so much better than we even hoped! -(door closes) 377 00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:19,112 It's so weird. Jerry has such a type. 378 00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:22,015 I mean, Farrah and my mom are the-- 379 00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:24,584 My mom. She's in the backyard. 380 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,086 Ohhhh, right. 381 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,620 Oh, God. 382 00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:28,856 Um, I don't know what happened. 383 00:11:28,956 --> 00:11:29,857 It's Dede. 384 00:11:29,957 --> 00:11:30,858 How did she get here? 385 00:11:30,958 --> 00:11:32,359 I thought she was at Mitchell's house. 386 00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:34,227 I don't understand. 387 00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:37,798 My mom's ashes are fused to the roots of the tree. 388 00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:39,366 Of course. 389 00:11:39,466 --> 00:11:41,969 Dede, I never would have flirted with another woman 390 00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:42,970 in front of you. 391 00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:44,604 Unless it was that kind of weekend, 392 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,373 like that time in Taos. 393 00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:48,141 -Ew. -Dede needs me. 394 00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:49,877 I shouldn't go anywhere. 395 00:11:49,977 --> 00:11:51,945 But-- But what-- But what about the butterflies 396 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,213 and Méjico? 397 00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:54,915 Claire, I can feel it. 398 00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:57,284 Your mother is in pain right now. 399 00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:59,319 Are-- Are we absolutely sure it's the tree? 400 00:11:59,419 --> 00:12:01,388 Because I do have an eggplant parmesan 401 00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:02,455 under the broiler. 402 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:03,656 I don't mean to overreact, 403 00:12:03,757 --> 00:12:05,325 but I think the situation may call for 404 00:12:05,425 --> 00:12:06,760 some throat singing. 405 00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:09,830 (low-pitching vocalizing) 406 00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:12,732 (vocalizing) 407 00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:15,502 Alright. Mitch. Cam. 408 00:12:15,602 --> 00:12:17,270 -Okay, I'll go first. -Okay. 409 00:12:17,370 --> 00:12:18,505 -I'm tall. -Tall. 410 00:12:18,605 --> 00:12:19,506 I'm strong, 411 00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:20,841 and I have a Matt Damon nose. 412 00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:22,843 -(chuckles) Okay. -Okay. 413 00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:23,811 Mitchell, quick-- me or Matt Damon? 414 00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:25,445 -Uh-- -Don't think, just answer. 415 00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:27,080 -Uh-- Okay, I'll give you that one. -Yeah. 416 00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,515 Um, alright, now me. Um... 417 00:12:28,615 --> 00:12:30,317 * Aaah * Perfect pitch. 418 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:31,852 Well, what this baby needs is rhythm. 419 00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:33,320 (fast-paced drumming) 420 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:34,687 And I've never had a cavity. 421 00:12:34,788 --> 00:12:36,489 I-I have good penmanship. 422 00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,258 Well, I had an aunt that lived to 110, 423 00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:39,827 and she smoked a pipe every day. 424 00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:41,862 -I'm responsible. -I'm nurturing. 425 00:12:41,962 --> 00:12:43,663 Uh-- Okay. I'm nurturing, too. 426 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,933 When Lily was a baby, I sang her to sleep every night, 427 00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:46,967 with perfect pitch. 428 00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:48,201 * Aaah * 429 00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:49,469 Well, I used to look at her 430 00:12:49,569 --> 00:12:50,637 through the window every morning 431 00:12:50,737 --> 00:12:51,872 when I would drop her off at school, 432 00:12:51,972 --> 00:12:53,206 until the security guard took my picture. 433 00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:55,642 Okay, uh... you know what? 434 00:12:55,742 --> 00:12:57,277 You-- You be the donor. 435 00:12:57,377 --> 00:12:58,711 I don't think that I can have a kid in the world 436 00:12:58,812 --> 00:13:00,180 and not be a part of their life. 437 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,015 Oh, Mitchell, I don't think I can, either. 438 00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:04,284 It would kill me to have a little button-nose beauty 439 00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:05,986 out there kicking up a storm 440 00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:08,021 as the first female punter or the first male Rockette. 441 00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,022 We begged them. 442 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,891 We're gonna look like such flakes. 443 00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:13,360 -They're gonna be heartbroken. -How do we tell them? 444 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,195 We're just gonna have to be completely honest. 445 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:16,629 We could tell them the microwave's been on the fritz 446 00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:17,630 and we're both sterile. 447 00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:19,332 Great. That. Yeah. 448 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,071 Okay. 449 00:13:24,171 --> 00:13:25,538 -Hey. -Hi. It's us. 450 00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:26,874 Hey. What a surprise. 451 00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:29,576 Uh-- Uh, honey? Mitch and Cam are here! 452 00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:31,811 -Listen, we're sorry for dropping in like this. -Mm-hmm. 453 00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:34,014 -Uh, but there's something we need to tell you. -Yeah. 454 00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:36,149 -What's up? -Hi. 455 00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:37,717 Okay, there-- there's no easy way to say this. 456 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:40,988 Um...we're just not comfortable donating sperm. 457 00:13:41,088 --> 00:13:42,355 And-- And-- You know, listen, 458 00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:44,424 we were so flattered. 459 00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:46,759 But I think we just got caught up in the moment. 460 00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:48,395 Oh, we get it. 461 00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:49,596 Yeah. No problem. 462 00:13:49,696 --> 00:13:51,364 -Oh, really? -It's totally fine. 463 00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:52,365 Thank you so much for letting us know. 464 00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:53,366 -Okay. -You guys are the best. 465 00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:54,334 -Oh. Oh, yeah. -Mwah. 466 00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:55,268 -Okay. -Hey, have a good one. 467 00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:56,769 -Sure. -Bye. Bye. 468 00:13:57,604 --> 00:13:59,239 Wow, I-I can't believe how well that went. 469 00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:00,941 Yeah, I know. I feel-- I feel so much better. 470 00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:02,675 That was... so easy. 471 00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:04,777 Yeah. Yeah, like, really easy. 472 00:14:04,878 --> 00:14:06,579 Wait, was it too easy? 473 00:14:09,883 --> 00:14:12,085 (exhales sharply) I got this. 474 00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:16,556 -Hi. It's us again. -Yeah. 475 00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:20,260 Listen, um... what just happened? 476 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:23,096 Because we just cratered your entire family planning, 477 00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:25,933 and all we get is a "Have a good one"? 478 00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:27,901 You don't seem too broken up about it. 479 00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:30,237 Uh-- No, no, we're super-sad. 480 00:14:30,337 --> 00:14:31,404 We're just lesbians. 481 00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:33,473 -Oh. Oh, of course. -Okay. That's on us. 482 00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:34,774 -That is on... -Okay. 483 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:37,077 -(man laughs) -Who's that? 484 00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:38,311 -Campbell. -No, it's not. 485 00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:39,879 You're the one with the masculine laugh. 486 00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:41,481 Yeah, and I'm-- I'm suddenly aware 487 00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:43,583 that we've been talking outside for a long time. 488 00:14:43,683 --> 00:14:44,751 Do-- Do you mind if we come in? 489 00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:46,586 Yeah, no, not at all, Mitch and Cam! 490 00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:47,955 Come on into the house! 491 00:14:48,055 --> 00:14:49,589 (rapid footsteps) 492 00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:50,790 MITCH: Hey-- Hey, Campbell! 493 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,792 Hi! Who's-- Who-- Who's your hunk? 494 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,161 Hi. I'm Nathan. 495 00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:55,628 Nathan. 496 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:56,964 Hello, Nathan. What is... 497 00:14:57,064 --> 00:14:58,765 Champagne. What? Were you celebrating? 498 00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:02,335 With a man in possession of some pretty remarkable genetics. 499 00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:03,603 Oh, I get it. 500 00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:06,306 That's why you let us off the hook so easy. 501 00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,008 You were gonna replace us. 502 00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:09,776 Okay, we're sorry. 503 00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:10,978 Yes, he's gonna donate. 504 00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:13,646 We did not plan this. We just met. 505 00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:14,847 -You just met?! -Just met? 506 00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:16,616 -Where? How? -How? When? How? 507 00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:18,485 He was our L-Lyft driver. 508 00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:19,752 Man, his car was really clean, 509 00:15:19,852 --> 00:15:21,321 he made excellent conversation. 510 00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:22,522 And I mean, look at him. 511 00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:23,656 You guys get it, right? 512 00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,425 That should be making babies. 513 00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:28,361 Look, at least we can tell our friends that we were asked. 514 00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:29,762 Yeah, and you know what? 515 00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:31,298 Hey, second place isn't bad. 516 00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:32,299 -Yeah. -Yeah. 517 00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:33,266 Ooh, do you mind? 518 00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:34,801 Can we get a-a picture with you 519 00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:36,803 just to show all of our friends what it took to beat us out? 520 00:15:36,903 --> 00:15:38,471 -Sure. -Sorry. Thanks. 521 00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:40,207 -Okay. -Would it help if I took off my shirt? 522 00:15:40,307 --> 00:15:42,142 -Oh, probably, yeah. -In so many ways. 523 00:15:42,242 --> 00:15:43,510 Yes, it would. Here. 524 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:44,777 -There is it. Okay. -There-- 525 00:15:44,877 --> 00:15:45,845 Wow. There...it is. 526 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,347 -Okay. -(camera shutter clicks) 527 00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,049 Why would you kiss Sherry? 528 00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:50,383 I didn't mean for it to happen. 529 00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:51,351 I'm not surprised. 530 00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:53,220 I've seen you make out with a Mr. Potato Head. 531 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:55,222 It was a Mrs. Potato Head. 532 00:15:55,322 --> 00:15:57,657 She had the bow and the girl lips. 533 00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:59,026 I couldn't talk to Sherry before the show, 534 00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:00,527 so I had to sit through it. 535 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,962 The first sketch was so bad, I tried to bail, 536 00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:04,331 but they locked the doors. 537 00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:07,034 Then she walked on the stage-- 538 00:16:07,134 --> 00:16:08,835 or should I say, 539 00:16:08,935 --> 00:16:10,870 the first octopus President walked on stage. 540 00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,839 (laughs) Look. 541 00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:14,807 She's signing eight bills at once. (laughs) 542 00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:17,377 And I'll never run out of ink. 543 00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:18,545 (laughter) 544 00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:20,480 LUKE: Her performance was a Tour de France. 545 00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:23,483 She was like a hot, girl version of my dad. 546 00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:27,054 Afterwards, we kept talking, and...it just happened. 547 00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:28,055 I'm really sorry, 548 00:16:28,255 --> 00:16:30,157 but I think I may have real feelings for her. 549 00:16:30,257 --> 00:16:33,493 Listen to me, you're never going to see Sherry ever again. 550 00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:35,062 I have to tell Manny the truth. 551 00:16:35,162 --> 00:16:36,196 Don't you dare. 552 00:16:36,296 --> 00:16:38,031 Tell me what? 553 00:16:38,131 --> 00:16:42,735 Manny, I'm sorry, but...I kissed Sherry. 554 00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,171 I feel terrible about it. 555 00:16:46,273 --> 00:16:47,407 Are you okay? 556 00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,376 I will be. 557 00:16:49,476 --> 00:16:50,877 After I kick your ass! 558 00:16:50,977 --> 00:16:51,878 Come on! Oh, hell yeah! 559 00:16:51,978 --> 00:16:53,046 Hold on, hold on! 560 00:16:53,146 --> 00:16:54,414 Manny, violence is never the answer. 561 00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:55,748 Kid, you don't know what you're doing. 562 00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:56,749 Uh, yes, I do. 563 00:16:56,949 --> 00:16:58,918 I got a "satisfactory" in Beginning Stage Combat. 564 00:16:59,018 --> 00:16:59,919 And action! 565 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:00,920 -Come here, Luke. Luke! -No, easy, easy. 566 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,222 -Hey! -Whoa! 567 00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:03,290 JAY: Whoa! Easy! 568 00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:04,757 -Easy! -How could you?! 569 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,393 -Of all the women! Come on, Luke! -No! No! No! No! 570 00:17:06,493 --> 00:17:07,460 -Ah! -No! 571 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,129 Enough. 572 00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:12,599 Now, listen, I'm sorry that you're hurting so badly, 573 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,801 and I'm sorry that my plan to help you move on 574 00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:15,902 was a disaster. 575 00:17:16,002 --> 00:17:17,304 But you're a good guy with a big heart, 576 00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:18,705 and you're gonna find the right person, 577 00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:20,073 I promise you. 578 00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:23,876 And you... it was big of you 579 00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:25,778 to want to tell Manny the truth to his face. 580 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,747 -Thanks. -But you crossed a line. 581 00:17:27,847 --> 00:17:30,083 You put yourself in front of your family, 582 00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:32,752 and you hurt a guy who loves you like a brother. 583 00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:34,587 You disappointed the hell out of me. 584 00:17:36,323 --> 00:17:37,924 I'm gonna ask you to leave. 585 00:17:38,991 --> 00:17:41,161 I'm sorry, Manny. 586 00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:42,662 Sorry, papi. 587 00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:44,131 (door opens) 588 00:17:44,231 --> 00:17:46,466 I think I need to be alone for a while. 589 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,168 I understand. 590 00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:50,069 Just remember, Manny, 591 00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:52,805 I'm there for you whenever there's a rainy day. 592 00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:54,474 'Cause we don't work those, so... 593 00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:55,475 (chuckles lightly) 594 00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:58,845 -You keep your chin up, kid. -(door opens) 595 00:17:58,945 --> 00:18:00,180 It's gonna work out okay. 596 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:02,249 -(door closes) -I know. 597 00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:04,083 Thanks, Jay. 598 00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:05,252 (sighs) 599 00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:06,319 I'm so sorry that I told you 600 00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:08,488 that you didn't care about other people. 601 00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:09,789 I care about other people. 602 00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:11,258 I'm really very sensitive. 603 00:18:11,358 --> 00:18:12,425 That's great. 604 00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:14,194 So, maybe tomorrow, you can take Joe 605 00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:16,529 to that little boy's princess party. 606 00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:18,131 Little boy's princess party? 607 00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:21,968 Eh... I think it's nice that he has the freedom 608 00:18:22,068 --> 00:18:23,636 to express himself that way. 609 00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:25,672 Pretty good, huh? 610 00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:27,807 They want the parents to go dress up, too. 611 00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:29,142 Okay, I'm out. 612 00:18:29,242 --> 00:18:30,143 (sitar music plays) 613 00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:32,445 45 minutes of sitar, and nothing. 614 00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:34,214 She can't be reasoned with. 615 00:18:34,314 --> 00:18:35,348 That's so Dede. 616 00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:37,150 She's clearly still upset with us. 617 00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:39,018 Well, she does hold a grudge. 618 00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,220 CLAIRE: Phil. 619 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,190 Claire, could you try and reason with your mother? 620 00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:45,692 What-- Okay, Jerry, is it possible 621 00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:48,228 that you are projecting your guilt about moving on? 622 00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:51,364 Because that's not my mom over there. 623 00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:52,699 I don't mean to seem indelicate, 624 00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:54,201 but you sound a little crazy right now. 625 00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:57,036 Please, talk to the tree. 626 00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,038 Okay, um... 627 00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:00,640 (clears throat) 628 00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:04,644 Hey, uh, Mom? 629 00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:07,714 So, uh...Jerry wants to go to Mexico for a year-- 630 00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:08,681 Four months! 631 00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:10,350 Worth a shot. 632 00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:11,684 And he's lonely, 633 00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:16,022 so he wants to take his new friend. 634 00:19:16,122 --> 00:19:17,524 What? 635 00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:18,525 (gasps) 636 00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:19,726 Wh-- You're... 637 00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,394 Really? You're okay with it? 638 00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:23,696 She says "Have fun." 639 00:19:23,796 --> 00:19:24,697 How did she sound? 640 00:19:24,797 --> 00:19:26,065 Did she seem passive-aggressive? 641 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:27,700 Yeah, maybe you should double-check, Claire. 642 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,237 Great. Thank you, Phil. 643 00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:34,106 Mom, after missing you a lot 644 00:19:34,207 --> 00:19:37,043 and talking about very little else, 645 00:19:37,143 --> 00:19:39,946 um, Jerry finally met someone. 646 00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:42,949 It's-- It's actually Dylan's Mom, Farrah, 647 00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:47,454 and he wants to take her to Mexico. 648 00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:50,290 She's listening. Keep going. 649 00:19:50,390 --> 00:19:54,761 Um...Jerry is worried that this would upset you, 650 00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:57,264 but I told him that you want him to be happy 651 00:19:57,364 --> 00:19:59,266 and to move on, right? 652 00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:01,268 Please move, please move. 653 00:20:01,368 --> 00:20:02,969 (exhales sharply) 654 00:20:03,069 --> 00:20:05,372 Dede, does the rustling mean "Yes"? 655 00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:08,275 Thank you, Dede. 656 00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:09,976 I will always love you. 657 00:20:10,076 --> 00:20:11,378 (exhales sharply) 658 00:20:11,478 --> 00:20:12,612 I need some water. 659 00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,981 -And let's go rescue that eggplant. -Yes. 660 00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:18,718 That was crazy! 661 00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:20,953 -Did you see that? -Hold on. 662 00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,390 Your-- Your mom wants to say something. 663 00:20:23,490 --> 00:20:24,391 What? 664 00:20:24,491 --> 00:20:25,792 "Hey, Claire Bear. 665 00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:28,595 Maybe you should appreciate Phil's magic more, 666 00:20:28,695 --> 00:20:31,130 -especially since he just solved your problem." -(chuckles) 667 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,266 I can't believe it. You're a genius. 668 00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:34,334 Mm. Thank you. 669 00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:35,568 -You're welcome. -(inhales sharply) 670 00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:37,504 They don't call me Filament Dunphy for nothing. 671 00:20:37,604 --> 00:20:38,771 That is cute, 672 00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:40,440 but you are still selling houses, right? 673 00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:43,009 Oh, shoot, I have a showing in 20 minutes. 674 00:20:43,109 --> 00:20:44,611 Oh! 675 00:20:44,711 --> 00:20:45,978 (grunts) 676 00:20:47,647 --> 00:20:50,417 (grunts) Love you. 677 00:20:53,286 --> 00:20:56,088 Oh, I guess I should be watering you more, huh? 678 00:20:56,188 --> 00:20:57,256 I've been busy. 679 00:20:57,357 --> 00:20:58,291 You're not even here, 680 00:20:58,391 --> 00:21:00,159 and I feel like you're judging me. 681 00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:02,161 Fine. I haven't been busy. 682 00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:03,596 I miss you. 683 00:21:03,696 --> 00:21:04,764 (exhales sharply) 684 00:21:04,864 --> 00:21:06,366 It's probably why I didn't want to see Jerry. 685 00:21:06,466 --> 00:21:08,635 He reminds me so much of you. 686 00:21:08,735 --> 00:21:11,804 It's also why Farrah drives me nuts. 687 00:21:11,904 --> 00:21:13,373 If I'm gonna have a kook in my house, 688 00:21:13,473 --> 00:21:14,941 I'd want it to be you. 689 00:21:16,443 --> 00:21:18,144 Phil. 690 00:21:18,244 --> 00:21:19,946 Phil, stop it. 691 00:21:22,214 --> 00:21:24,551 Shut up, Mom. I like this haircut. 692 00:21:28,521 --> 00:21:31,458 -- Captions by VITAC --