1 00:00:01,958 --> 00:00:04,091 This one's from me.The ribboning isn't my best -- 2 00:00:04,134 --> 00:00:05,527 I have carpal tunnel. 3 00:00:05,570 --> 00:00:07,311 My new company is putting me up at The Prescott, 4 00:00:07,355 --> 00:00:09,922 a luxury residence with full amenities. 5 00:00:09,966 --> 00:00:12,142 I admit, this extravagant lifestyle 6 00:00:12,186 --> 00:00:13,404 can make me a little uncomfortable. 7 00:00:13,448 --> 00:00:15,624 Gentle, Marta! 8 00:00:15,667 --> 00:00:17,756 Another candle. Thanks, everyone. 9 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:19,280 Gloria:Alex, you should know 10 00:00:19,323 --> 00:00:22,413 that a crook worksat the hair salon downstairs -- 11 00:00:22,457 --> 00:00:25,112 Adolfo of Venice. 12 00:00:25,155 --> 00:00:26,896 Isn't he the colorist to the stars? 13 00:00:26,939 --> 00:00:29,159 Thank you for asking even though I know you know. 14 00:00:29,203 --> 00:00:30,465 I hate him. 15 00:00:30,508 --> 00:00:35,078 Adolfo of Venice is actuallyAlan Carpman of Bakersfield. 16 00:00:35,122 --> 00:00:37,254 We started as hairdresserstogether, 17 00:00:37,298 --> 00:00:39,952 but he stolemy hair dye formula. 18 00:00:39,996 --> 00:00:41,998 For a family of generally lovely people, 19 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,304 we sure have a lot of rivals. 20 00:00:43,347 --> 00:00:46,089 You know what, it's been fun, but it's time to go. 21 00:00:46,133 --> 00:00:48,526 You haven't even opened the candle that Cam and I got you. 22 00:00:48,570 --> 00:00:50,224 And don't we get a tour of the building? 23 00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:51,442 This place has everything. 24 00:00:51,486 --> 00:00:54,489 Um, an archery range, a shark tank, a -- 25 00:00:54,532 --> 00:00:56,360 a Westworld? 26 00:00:56,404 --> 00:00:58,493 Sorry, I've gota huge project due. 27 00:00:58,536 --> 00:01:00,190 We can always just explore on our own. 28 00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:02,149 Actually, you can't. 29 00:01:02,192 --> 00:01:04,368 There's a strict "no unaccompanied guests" policy. 30 00:01:04,412 --> 00:01:06,109 I violate that, they kick me out. 31 00:01:06,153 --> 00:01:07,893 I'll have the valet fetch your cars. 32 00:01:07,937 --> 00:01:09,112 Oh, you can do that from here? 33 00:01:09,156 --> 00:01:10,331 Yeah, everything's automated. 34 00:01:10,374 --> 00:01:12,202 You just need a resident ID code. 35 00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:21,124 --Captions by VITAC-- 36 00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:24,127 Captioning Provided by 20th Century Fox Television and ABC, Inc. 37 00:01:24,171 --> 00:01:26,869 and brought to you by Ford. Going further, so you can. 38 00:01:30,177 --> 00:01:31,743 Bye, Phil. Bye. 39 00:01:31,787 --> 00:01:33,136 All right, well, I parked on the street, 40 00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:34,703 so I'll just meet you at home. 41 00:01:34,746 --> 00:01:36,313 -Bye, Claire. -I need to run to the mall. 42 00:01:36,357 --> 00:01:38,185 Would you pick up somesteaks from the farmersmarket for tonight? 43 00:01:38,228 --> 00:01:39,969 Oh, so you did remember it's date night. 44 00:01:40,012 --> 00:01:41,797 I was a little worried after your response to my Paperless Post. 45 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:43,146 Oh, come on. 46 00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:45,409 You know my maybesalways turn into will attends. 47 00:01:45,453 --> 00:01:46,280 Okay. 48 00:01:46,323 --> 00:01:47,759 Aww. 49 00:01:47,803 --> 00:01:49,152 When was the last timethat you and I 50 00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:51,720 cooked a romantic dinnertogether? 51 00:01:51,763 --> 00:01:53,374 We did it last week. 52 00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:57,987 I'm not talking about sprinklinghot dog slices on a DiGiorno's. 53 00:02:00,381 --> 00:02:03,079 You couldn't bring my carbefore I got in trouble? 54 00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:10,260 Thank you. 55 00:02:13,394 --> 00:02:15,178 Phil:I've been secretly moonlightingas an online food blogger, 56 00:02:15,222 --> 00:02:16,788 "Foodie in a Hoodie" -- 57 00:02:16,832 --> 00:02:18,181 it rhymes on the page. 58 00:02:18,225 --> 00:02:20,879 I've quickly developed a huge following, 59 00:02:20,923 --> 00:02:23,360 and The Prescott is home to the city's hottest restaurant, 60 00:02:23,404 --> 00:02:24,405 called Pardon. 61 00:02:24,448 --> 00:02:25,580 Hello. 62 00:02:25,623 --> 00:02:27,277 Ah, good day, sir. 63 00:02:27,321 --> 00:02:28,191 Forgive me. I'm new here. 64 00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:30,062 Still getting to knoweach of the tenants. 65 00:02:30,106 --> 00:02:31,412 I'm your concierge, Higgins. 66 00:02:31,455 --> 00:02:33,762 You look so familiar. Have we met? 67 00:02:33,805 --> 00:02:35,198 'Fraid not, no. 68 00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:36,330 I do get that a lot, though. 69 00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:38,636 I havean everyman face and body. 70 00:02:41,726 --> 00:02:43,250 They're rising. 71 00:02:43,293 --> 00:02:45,034 Ah, yes, Finley. 72 00:02:45,077 --> 00:02:46,383 Patrols the building for non-residents 73 00:02:46,427 --> 00:02:48,820 using a motion sensorand face scanner. 74 00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:52,215 Useful, yes, but does he havethat uniquely human ability 75 00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:54,348 to anticipatea person's every need? 76 00:02:54,391 --> 00:02:55,392 Coconut water? 77 00:02:55,436 --> 00:02:57,829 I didn't even know I wanted this! 78 00:02:57,873 --> 00:02:59,266 Finley, away! 79 00:02:59,309 --> 00:03:00,615 Anything elseI can help you with, sir? 80 00:03:00,658 --> 00:03:02,269 Uh...no. 81 00:03:02,312 --> 00:03:04,271 I'm just headed down to the restaurant. 82 00:03:04,314 --> 00:03:05,576 Pardon? 83 00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:07,448 Your...in-house eatery. 84 00:03:07,491 --> 00:03:08,405 Pardon? 85 00:03:08,449 --> 00:03:11,930 You know -- uh, waiters, cutlery, daily specials. 86 00:03:11,974 --> 00:03:13,280 I think it's called Pardon. 87 00:03:13,323 --> 00:03:14,890 Of course. My mistake.It's all right. 88 00:03:14,933 --> 00:03:16,108 Right this way. 89 00:03:16,152 --> 00:03:18,067 Avoiding the security robot would be tricky, 90 00:03:18,110 --> 00:03:19,242 but Finley had a weakness -- 91 00:03:19,286 --> 00:03:21,288 he can only detect people if they're moving. 92 00:03:21,331 --> 00:03:22,506 And it was worth the risk -- 93 00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:24,421 Pardon claimed to have the world's best beef slider, 94 00:03:24,465 --> 00:03:26,510 and my -- my followers are dying for a review. 95 00:03:26,554 --> 00:03:28,338 Well, all but one. 96 00:03:28,382 --> 00:03:30,471 I have a troll. 97 00:03:30,514 --> 00:03:33,865 Screen name "Close to Utlaw," wherever that is. 98 00:03:33,909 --> 00:03:36,520 We recently got into a -- a heated comment war. 99 00:03:36,564 --> 00:03:40,263 Insults were hurled, mothers disparaged. 100 00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:42,352 Who knew the Internet could be so negative? 101 00:03:42,396 --> 00:03:44,441 Table for one. I live here. 102 00:03:44,485 --> 00:03:45,747 Something just opened up. 103 00:03:45,790 --> 00:03:48,532 Great, lead the way.I live here. 104 00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:55,322 Hi. Uh, I'm new here. 105 00:03:55,365 --> 00:03:57,106 Could you lead me to the screening room? 106 00:03:57,149 --> 00:03:58,325 I should think so. 107 00:03:58,368 --> 00:04:00,892 At the butler academy,I led my class in leading. 108 00:04:00,936 --> 00:04:02,372 This way. 109 00:04:02,416 --> 00:04:04,505 Recently, I got a special edition Blu-ray 110 00:04:04,548 --> 00:04:07,551 of the best movie ever made, "Lawrence of Arabia." 111 00:04:07,595 --> 00:04:09,205 Word is, The Prescott has 112 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:12,339 a state-of-the-art screening room with surround sound. 113 00:04:12,382 --> 00:04:13,296 Know what it doesn't have? 114 00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:14,645 Manny. 115 00:04:14,689 --> 00:04:17,126 Hello! I would've gonewith a tracking shot there. 116 00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:20,912 I sure hope he finds a plotout there in that desert. 117 00:04:23,001 --> 00:04:25,221 Behold,our famous candy wall. 118 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,441 Hey, Sugar Babies. 119 00:04:27,484 --> 00:04:29,181 Yes, honey buns?No, Sugar Babies. 120 00:04:29,225 --> 00:04:31,227 The greatest movie candy of all time. 121 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,576 A thousand apologies. 122 00:04:32,620 --> 00:04:34,404 I will track some down for you straight away. 123 00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:35,884 You wouldn't mind? Mind? Please. 124 00:04:35,927 --> 00:04:37,189 There is no greater joy 125 00:04:37,233 --> 00:04:39,104 than fetching something I've never heard of 126 00:04:39,148 --> 00:04:40,323 for someone I've only just met. 127 00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:45,546 May I help you with something? 128 00:04:45,589 --> 00:04:48,026 Oh. Uh, no, I'm just -- I'm waiting for someone. 129 00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:50,464 And his name is David Beckham. 130 00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:52,596 Resident at The Prescott. 131 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:53,597 Okay, Mitchell hates it when I do this, 132 00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:55,207 but every time I meet a celebrity, 133 00:04:55,251 --> 00:04:57,427 I ask them to record my outgoing message. 134 00:04:57,471 --> 00:05:00,125 My current one is from when I saw Snoop Dogg at a bank. 135 00:05:00,169 --> 00:05:02,214 Cameron: Sorry I missed you. As you can see -- 136 00:05:02,258 --> 00:05:03,564 Snoop Dogg: I'm busy! 137 00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:04,434 And sometimes things can -- 138 00:05:04,478 --> 00:05:06,131 Get away from me! 139 00:05:06,175 --> 00:05:07,698 Please leave a message, including your phone number, 140 00:05:07,742 --> 00:05:09,439 just for -- Security! 141 00:05:10,962 --> 00:05:12,921 Hey, sweetie, what's up?I'm -- I'm kind of busy. 142 00:05:12,964 --> 00:05:14,488 Mitchell: Cam, I'm hurt. It's my leg. 143 00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:15,402 What? 144 00:05:15,445 --> 00:05:16,968 I slipped in the food court, 145 00:05:17,012 --> 00:05:19,449 and I'm all sticky and tweens are laughing at me. 146 00:05:19,493 --> 00:05:20,494 You have to come pick me up. 147 00:05:20,537 --> 00:05:22,583 Well, that sounds awful,but -- 148 00:05:22,626 --> 00:05:24,411 Isn't --Isn't Claire closer? 149 00:05:24,454 --> 00:05:26,413 Well, you're at the farmers market right down the street. 150 00:05:26,456 --> 00:05:28,066 Okay, fine. I'm on my way. 151 00:05:29,503 --> 00:05:31,287 Aww, you're the best. 152 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,245 I was not gonna let Cam ruin my chance 153 00:05:33,289 --> 00:05:37,293 to thank my wallpaper, Victoria Beckham, one-on-one. 154 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,077 Okay, so, it was 1997. 155 00:05:39,121 --> 00:05:40,383 I was in Detroit 156 00:05:40,427 --> 00:05:42,385 for a Spice Girls concert with my girlfriend. 157 00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:44,387 I was going to propose to her, 158 00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:46,520 had the ring in my pocket and everything, 159 00:05:46,563 --> 00:05:50,045 when from the stage, Posh lookedright at me and said, 160 00:05:50,088 --> 00:05:52,656 "Be true to yourself, Mitchell!" 161 00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:54,528 Okay, you know, she might've said "Michigan," 162 00:05:54,571 --> 00:05:56,225 but she was looking right at me! 163 00:05:56,268 --> 00:05:59,315 She inspired me to come out that night. 164 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,578 I had that diamond reset as an anklet charm, 165 00:06:01,622 --> 00:06:03,537 and I was off to the races. 166 00:06:03,580 --> 00:06:05,626 What kind of gym bag is that, anyway? 167 00:06:05,669 --> 00:06:08,672 It's a satchel,you ignorant sneeze. 168 00:06:08,716 --> 00:06:10,761 You have been so unpleasant lately. 169 00:06:10,805 --> 00:06:12,459 On a definitely related note, 170 00:06:12,502 --> 00:06:14,852 Manny hasn't gotten any action in months. 171 00:06:14,896 --> 00:06:17,899 Well, other thanwhatever gave him carpal tunnel. 172 00:06:17,942 --> 00:06:21,076 Luckily, The Prescott has an '80s aerobi-cise class, 173 00:06:21,119 --> 00:06:24,122 which will be full of single older ladies. 174 00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:26,124 Women hit a sweet spot right after 40 175 00:06:26,168 --> 00:06:27,691 where they still look great 176 00:06:27,735 --> 00:06:29,432 but their standards have lowered. 177 00:06:31,869 --> 00:06:33,436 You're in pretty good shapefor someone who's... 178 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:35,220 42? 43? 179 00:06:35,264 --> 00:06:36,570 I'm 38. 180 00:06:36,613 --> 00:06:38,310 Bye. 181 00:06:39,268 --> 00:06:40,791 Higgins. 182 00:06:40,835 --> 00:06:42,445 Oh, Mr. Beckham. Apologies. 183 00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:44,229 Blind as a batwithout these bad boys. 184 00:06:44,273 --> 00:06:47,624 So, myself and Courteney areexpecting a bowling instructor. 185 00:06:47,668 --> 00:06:50,235 Would you have him meet us downstairs at the bowling alley, please? 186 00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:51,541 You and Ms. Cox getting an edge 187 00:06:51,585 --> 00:06:52,586 for this weekend'scelebrity bowl-a-thon? 188 00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:54,152 Oh, we'll need it. 189 00:06:54,196 --> 00:06:55,937 You should've seen the way he bowled last year. 190 00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:58,374 I mean, it isto raise money for charity. 191 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:01,290 Yeah, a dollar for each of the 18 pins that you knocked down. 192 00:07:01,333 --> 00:07:03,510 Thanks to you, Doctors Without Borders 193 00:07:03,553 --> 00:07:05,294 are now Doctors Without Malaria Pills. 194 00:07:05,337 --> 00:07:06,513 A bit harsh. 195 00:07:14,999 --> 00:07:16,697 Did you see the two friends in the back? 196 00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:18,699 The blond one liked me, and thebrunette kept staring at you. 197 00:07:18,742 --> 00:07:19,874 Can you blame her? 198 00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:21,789 No one movesto "Caribbean Queen" like me. 199 00:07:23,181 --> 00:07:25,923 Ah, just who I was toldto be on the lookout for. 200 00:07:25,967 --> 00:07:28,404 A certain couple haveasked that you meet themin the bowling alley. 201 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:29,971 Was it a blonde and a brunette? 202 00:07:30,014 --> 00:07:32,669 Indeed, and they seemed eagerto get rolling. 203 00:07:33,627 --> 00:07:34,628 Bowling alley? 204 00:07:34,671 --> 00:07:35,933 These girls are freaky. 205 00:07:37,195 --> 00:07:38,675 Hair salon? 206 00:07:38,719 --> 00:07:40,895 Just off the courtyard to your right.Thank you. 207 00:07:40,938 --> 00:07:42,636 I've always wanted to dye my hair dark. 208 00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:44,551 But there's only one colorist I would trust to do it -- 209 00:07:44,594 --> 00:07:46,988 Adolfo of Venice. 210 00:07:47,031 --> 00:07:48,729 Gloria's sworn enemy. 211 00:07:48,772 --> 00:07:51,122 I just have to sneak back in and do it without her knowing. 212 00:07:51,166 --> 00:07:52,559 Oh! 213 00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:04,919 Alex: Hi, Mom. 214 00:08:04,962 --> 00:08:06,529 Hi, Alex. Hey, honey. 215 00:08:06,573 --> 00:08:08,183 So, how's the project going? 216 00:08:08,226 --> 00:08:10,315 I'm never gonna make this deadline. 217 00:08:10,359 --> 00:08:12,535 Oh, yeah, no, that -- that -- that's tough... 218 00:08:12,579 --> 00:08:13,797 I'm sorry -- sorry to hear that. 219 00:08:13,841 --> 00:08:15,886 Work is so stressful. 220 00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:17,192 I'm glad you called, I'm actually --Yeah, got to go, love you! Bye! 221 00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:19,542 The pool? 222 00:08:19,586 --> 00:08:21,152 Just hop on the elevator 223 00:08:21,196 --> 00:08:23,198 and press the big buttonmarked "pool." 224 00:08:23,241 --> 00:08:26,810 I am known as the fearless one of the family. 225 00:08:26,854 --> 00:08:28,595 So, when Claire gave us all free passes 226 00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:31,162 for the Fun Town Water Park next week, 227 00:08:31,206 --> 00:08:34,383 I couldn't admit that I am afraid of slides. 228 00:08:34,426 --> 00:08:38,169 They go so fast, I feel like I'm going to fly off. 229 00:08:38,213 --> 00:08:41,825 I just need to try it once and I am going to be fine. 230 00:08:41,869 --> 00:08:44,393 I cannot do it! 231 00:08:44,436 --> 00:08:45,568 Hey, no backsies! 232 00:08:47,744 --> 00:08:50,660 Okay, here I go! 233 00:08:54,316 --> 00:08:56,710 You should have let me do backsies! 234 00:08:58,755 --> 00:09:01,715 Female voice: Resident ID access -- hair salon. 235 00:09:01,758 --> 00:09:04,021 What? Who's using my code?! 236 00:09:05,849 --> 00:09:08,460 You a-look like that a-actress... 237 00:09:08,504 --> 00:09:11,289 Audrey Hepburn. 238 00:09:16,773 --> 00:09:18,775 This is Phil Dunphy. Leave a message. 239 00:09:18,819 --> 00:09:21,517 Phil, I have a little surprise for you later. 240 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:24,955 Let's just say I know how much you love brunettes. 241 00:09:24,999 --> 00:09:26,566 Here's a menu for you.Thank you. 242 00:09:27,828 --> 00:09:31,440 And for my followers... 243 00:09:31,483 --> 00:09:32,789 an Instagram tease. 244 00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:37,098 Your Sugar Babies, sir. 245 00:09:37,141 --> 00:09:38,621 I hope it wasn't too much trouble. 246 00:09:38,665 --> 00:09:40,405 On the contrary. 247 00:09:40,449 --> 00:09:42,016 There was a Mexican birthday celebration 248 00:09:42,059 --> 00:09:44,061 taking place in the park across the street. 249 00:09:44,105 --> 00:09:45,759 I waited for the crack of the piñata, 250 00:09:45,802 --> 00:09:47,543 mixed in seamlessly with the children, 251 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,023 and pounced. 252 00:09:54,506 --> 00:09:55,769 He's here?! 253 00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:57,901 Some moron food blogger took a shot 254 00:09:57,945 --> 00:09:59,120 at one of my favorite spots. 255 00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:02,253 So I go after him usingmy screen name, "Closet Outlaw." 256 00:10:02,297 --> 00:10:05,909 It escalates, and he turns his army of followers against me. 257 00:10:05,953 --> 00:10:07,868 As I wrote in my last comment -- 258 00:10:07,911 --> 00:10:10,697 "Let's see how well my fist pairs with your face." 259 00:10:12,699 --> 00:10:14,309 The bowling alley?! 260 00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:18,879 Alex is here?! 261 00:10:18,922 --> 00:10:20,489 If she sees us,she'll throw us out. 262 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:23,057 Excuse me. 263 00:10:24,362 --> 00:10:26,277 If that blonde and brunette come by, 264 00:10:26,321 --> 00:10:27,844 could you tell them there's a new meet-up spot? 265 00:10:27,888 --> 00:10:29,498 The hot tubs on the rooftop. 266 00:10:29,541 --> 00:10:31,848 Of course, warm things up a bitbefore your workout. 267 00:10:31,892 --> 00:10:33,284 If there's nothing else,I need to make sure 268 00:10:33,328 --> 00:10:35,156 these balls are markedwith their correct weights. 269 00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:42,337 Hi. 270 00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:43,730 Size 10 for him 271 00:10:43,773 --> 00:10:46,254 and anything with a steel toe for me. 272 00:10:46,297 --> 00:10:47,690 Someone drops his ball a lot. 273 00:10:47,734 --> 00:10:48,735 There has been a change of plan. 274 00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:50,562 Your bowling instructorwould now like you to meet him 275 00:10:50,606 --> 00:10:52,521 in the hot tubs for a warmup first. 276 00:10:52,564 --> 00:10:53,740 Meet you up there? Yep. 277 00:10:53,783 --> 00:10:56,525 If you're calling the charity for a new partner, 278 00:10:56,568 --> 00:10:57,613 it's not gonna work. 279 00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:58,962 They already made the posters. 280 00:10:59,006 --> 00:11:01,530 Ready to order? Very. 281 00:11:01,573 --> 00:11:04,272 I came to this restaurant forone thing and one thing only. 282 00:11:10,539 --> 00:11:12,149 And that thing is...? 283 00:11:12,193 --> 00:11:13,847 Sorry.Uh, one of your world fa-- 284 00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:18,199 One of our world's fattest hot dogs coming up. 285 00:11:18,242 --> 00:11:19,983 No! The -- The slider. 286 00:11:20,027 --> 00:11:21,158 And how would you like it? 287 00:11:21,202 --> 00:11:22,159 Me... 288 00:11:24,031 --> 00:11:26,207 Yes, you, sir....dium rare. 289 00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:27,730 And can you have it deliveredto the pool, please? 290 00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:29,166 Of course. 291 00:11:31,212 --> 00:11:32,779 Okay, that slider goes to the pool, 292 00:11:32,822 --> 00:11:35,390 and it looks like we need one for Mr. Beckham to the roof. 293 00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:37,131 You seen a guy in a black hoodie? 294 00:11:37,174 --> 00:11:37,958 Just left.Thanks. 295 00:11:38,001 --> 00:11:39,655 Oh, I'll be back. 296 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,788 I'm dying to try one ofyour world's fattest hot dogs. 297 00:11:50,013 --> 00:11:51,623 Hey, you here at the mall? 298 00:11:51,667 --> 00:11:53,843 No, not yet. Why are you breathing so hard? 299 00:11:53,887 --> 00:11:55,976 Oh, um, a bunch of kids were vaping next to me, 300 00:11:56,019 --> 00:11:58,892 and I had to army-crawl into a-a candle store. 301 00:11:58,935 --> 00:12:00,458 Yeah. Is there anything you want while I'm here? 302 00:12:00,502 --> 00:12:02,939 Can I tell you what I want, what I really, really want? 303 00:12:02,983 --> 00:12:05,028 You're watching me right now, aren't you? 304 00:12:05,072 --> 00:12:06,160 Oh -- 305 00:12:06,203 --> 00:12:07,204 Cam, okay, look. 306 00:12:07,248 --> 00:12:08,902 I was hoping I'd run into Posh 307 00:12:08,945 --> 00:12:11,600 here at the gym for a private moment, okay? 308 00:12:11,643 --> 00:12:13,123 Look, we're both after the Beckhams. 309 00:12:13,167 --> 00:12:15,038 Let's come up with a plan together -- 310 00:12:15,082 --> 00:12:15,952 meet me at the swim-up bar. 311 00:12:15,996 --> 00:12:17,562 There's a swim-up bar?! 312 00:12:17,606 --> 00:12:19,260 I know, we should be living here 313 00:12:19,303 --> 00:12:20,914 and Alex should be living in our stupid house. 314 00:12:27,050 --> 00:12:28,269 Jay: Hey! 315 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,450 Higgins, I need you! 316 00:12:35,493 --> 00:12:36,320 Where are you?! 317 00:12:39,236 --> 00:12:41,021 A spot of bother, I see? 318 00:12:41,064 --> 00:12:42,065 I can't do it! 319 00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:43,414 Oh, of course you can. 320 00:12:43,458 --> 00:12:44,720 I'll just crawl in front of you 321 00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,374 so you can grab me around the waist. 322 00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:48,289 I apologize in advancefor any giggling. 323 00:12:48,332 --> 00:12:49,812 I'm cursedwith the tickle gene. 324 00:12:49,856 --> 00:12:51,814 What's going on? 325 00:12:51,858 --> 00:12:53,903 Someone's stuck on the slide. 326 00:12:53,947 --> 00:12:55,252 She tried to climb back down, but -- 327 00:12:55,296 --> 00:12:57,298 No backsies, I get it.Yeah. 328 00:12:57,341 --> 00:12:58,690 Oh, oh, oh! That's for me. 329 00:12:58,734 --> 00:13:00,692 Thank you. 330 00:13:00,736 --> 00:13:02,520 But it goes too fast!Oh, no, don't worry. 331 00:13:02,564 --> 00:13:04,914 I shall vary the flex of mybuttocks to control our speed. 332 00:13:04,958 --> 00:13:06,089 We should be -- 333 00:13:06,133 --> 00:13:07,874 No! 334 00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:10,485 My deepest apologies! 335 00:13:13,270 --> 00:13:15,882 Oh, no! 336 00:13:15,925 --> 00:13:17,057 Okay. 337 00:13:22,714 --> 00:13:25,239 Noooo!! 338 00:13:26,283 --> 00:13:27,545 That one's sorted. 339 00:13:32,115 --> 00:13:34,988 I need some sparkling watersent up to the hot tub cabanas. 340 00:13:35,031 --> 00:13:36,032 Can't say for whom, 341 00:13:36,076 --> 00:13:37,860 but let's includea glass of champagne 342 00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:40,602 in case his poshwife joins him. 343 00:13:45,128 --> 00:13:47,870 Easy. 344 00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:48,915 Easy. 345 00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:52,570 Come on! 346 00:13:52,614 --> 00:13:54,137 Higgins! Hey, hey. 347 00:13:54,181 --> 00:13:55,660 Um, listen... 348 00:13:55,704 --> 00:13:58,054 I need your helpgetting my hands on the slider. 349 00:13:58,098 --> 00:13:59,795 The slider? 350 00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,014 Oh, of course. 351 00:14:01,057 --> 00:14:02,145 Quite a looker, that one. 352 00:14:02,189 --> 00:14:03,799 Well, that's the problem --so far, 353 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,105 I've only been able to lookand not taste. 354 00:14:06,671 --> 00:14:08,891 Say no more. I shall find a wayto deliver the slider to you. 355 00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:10,110 Great! 356 00:14:10,153 --> 00:14:11,154 Um, is there somewhere private 357 00:14:11,198 --> 00:14:13,069 where I couldenjoy the slider alone? 358 00:14:13,113 --> 00:14:14,897 Might I suggest one of our rooftop hot tubs 359 00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:16,159 overlooking the city? 360 00:14:16,203 --> 00:14:17,247 Perfect, I'll wait there. 361 00:14:17,291 --> 00:14:19,293 And I'll -- I'll need a bib --I can make a mess. 362 00:14:28,171 --> 00:14:30,565 Still crisp. 363 00:14:30,608 --> 00:14:31,958 He's close. 364 00:14:36,571 --> 00:14:37,920 How'd I get back here? 365 00:14:45,319 --> 00:14:46,494 Ah, Posh. 366 00:14:46,537 --> 00:14:48,061 Thank you. 367 00:14:48,104 --> 00:14:49,366 Your husband has askedthat you meet him 368 00:14:49,410 --> 00:14:52,065 up in one of the rooftophot tubs for some champagne. 369 00:14:52,108 --> 00:14:53,501 Phil. 370 00:14:57,113 --> 00:14:58,419 Hi. 371 00:15:03,859 --> 00:15:06,209 Higgins! The slides aren't the enemy. 372 00:15:06,253 --> 00:15:07,732 Fear is. 373 00:15:07,776 --> 00:15:10,213 It's always a thrill to seeone of my residents grow. 374 00:15:10,257 --> 00:15:11,998 By the way,a certain mystery man 375 00:15:12,041 --> 00:15:13,129 has spotted you around the building 376 00:15:13,173 --> 00:15:15,218 and has requested your presenceon the roof. 377 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:19,179 Jay's finally doing something romantic! 378 00:15:19,222 --> 00:15:21,964 Just when I thought he was a clueless grouch. 379 00:15:26,490 --> 00:15:28,362 How many lobbies does this place have?! 380 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,194 Excuse me.Where can I find a bathing suit? 381 00:15:34,237 --> 00:15:36,413 Oh, there are complimentary suits in all of the cabanas. 382 00:15:36,457 --> 00:15:39,025 Ooh. Worry not, I boil them myself nightly. 383 00:15:39,068 --> 00:15:40,243 Ah. 384 00:15:40,287 --> 00:15:41,897 Let's see a robot do that. 385 00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:45,161 Hi, Higgins. We havea bit of an unusual request. 386 00:15:45,205 --> 00:15:47,076 Now, we know you need to be discreet, but... 387 00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:49,122 we are hoping to have a rendezvous 388 00:15:49,165 --> 00:15:50,253 with a certain distinguished Brit. 389 00:15:50,297 --> 00:15:51,254 Hmm? 390 00:15:51,298 --> 00:15:52,560 Consider it arranged. 391 00:15:52,603 --> 00:15:54,518 Okay. Okay. 392 00:16:00,046 --> 00:16:01,221 Still no sign of the ladies. 393 00:16:01,264 --> 00:16:02,962 Maybe they're in a different cabana. 394 00:16:05,834 --> 00:16:06,878 Mine's here. 395 00:16:06,922 --> 00:16:08,141 Let's wait for the blonde. 396 00:16:08,184 --> 00:16:09,838 I only know how to do thiswith even numbers. 397 00:16:09,881 --> 00:16:12,101 Hello, Mr. Robot! 398 00:16:12,145 --> 00:16:14,886 Can you tell me where to gofor my romantic surprise? 399 00:16:14,930 --> 00:16:16,236 Gloria?! 400 00:16:23,678 --> 00:16:25,114 Now mine's here, but yours is gone. 401 00:16:29,684 --> 00:16:30,902 Now they're bothgone! 402 00:16:30,946 --> 00:16:32,165 They'll be back. 403 00:16:32,208 --> 00:16:33,862 Maybe one of them had a nanny emergency. 404 00:16:33,905 --> 00:16:35,211 Let's wait for them in there. 405 00:16:35,255 --> 00:16:36,908 Slider? 406 00:16:36,952 --> 00:16:38,301 Arriving shortly. Cabana 3. 407 00:16:38,345 --> 00:16:39,433 Thank you. 408 00:16:40,695 --> 00:16:42,001 Here we are, then. 409 00:16:45,656 --> 00:16:47,180 Higgins,what are you doing?! 410 00:16:47,223 --> 00:16:48,746 Oh, role play. 411 00:16:48,790 --> 00:16:51,532 I know I am but a lowly stable boy, 412 00:16:51,575 --> 00:16:53,534 unwanted in the master's quarters, but -- 413 00:16:53,577 --> 00:16:56,711 Perhaps you'd like to teach me a lesson? 414 00:16:56,754 --> 00:16:58,060 Just stay away from the face. 415 00:16:58,104 --> 00:17:00,280 Uh, obviously there's been some sort of misunderstanding. 416 00:17:00,323 --> 00:17:02,195 Yeah, do we look likethe kind of people 417 00:17:02,238 --> 00:17:04,414 that would be intosome sort of weird role play 418 00:17:04,458 --> 00:17:06,112 involving a stable boy? 419 00:17:06,155 --> 00:17:07,765 I'm assuming he's been naughty 420 00:17:07,809 --> 00:17:10,116 and would do anythingto keep his job. 421 00:17:10,159 --> 00:17:11,291 Cam -- Cam? 422 00:17:11,334 --> 00:17:13,902 In my defense, I do get this request quite often. 423 00:17:13,945 --> 00:17:15,338 Particularly around the holidays. 424 00:17:15,382 --> 00:17:17,079 Actually, um... 425 00:17:17,123 --> 00:17:20,126 we were hoping to meet a certain celebrity couple. 426 00:17:20,169 --> 00:17:21,127 Yeah.Say no more. 427 00:17:21,170 --> 00:17:23,172 I make no promises, but let me just 428 00:17:23,216 --> 00:17:25,305 wriggle back into my shorts and make some inquiries. 429 00:17:32,268 --> 00:17:34,357 Ah, wonderful timing! 430 00:17:34,401 --> 00:17:36,794 Please step into Cabana 3 -- your mystery man awaits. 431 00:17:40,711 --> 00:17:42,104 Hi. 432 00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:45,368 I know that you and Iaren't supposed to be here, 433 00:17:45,412 --> 00:17:50,373 but after today, I am tiredof living a life of fear. 434 00:17:50,417 --> 00:17:53,463 Was Gloria Claire's brunette surprise? 435 00:17:53,507 --> 00:17:58,294 It all started when Clairegave me a free pass to Fun Town. 436 00:17:58,338 --> 00:18:02,168 I thought, just try it today. 437 00:18:02,211 --> 00:18:06,302 Take a ride, see how it feels. 438 00:18:06,346 --> 00:18:10,219 Oh. I never noticedhow sexy your feet are. 439 00:18:10,263 --> 00:18:12,830 Thank you, but this isn'thappening, Gloria! 440 00:18:15,964 --> 00:18:18,358 Oh, there you are. Sorry we missed you at the bowling alley. 441 00:18:18,401 --> 00:18:20,360 She looked differentwith a headband on. 442 00:18:20,403 --> 00:18:22,492 Warming up in a hot tub first -- 443 00:18:22,536 --> 00:18:25,408 unconventional, but, hey, anything to loosen up Becks. 444 00:18:25,452 --> 00:18:26,931 Did we meet a Becky? 445 00:18:26,975 --> 00:18:29,238 Maybe.There were so many of them. 446 00:18:29,282 --> 00:18:31,545 So, how old is this Becks? 447 00:18:31,588 --> 00:18:32,720 44. 448 00:18:32,763 --> 00:18:33,721 It's on. 449 00:18:33,764 --> 00:18:35,897 Oh, there you are. 450 00:18:38,900 --> 00:18:41,250 Wait...you're Becks? 451 00:18:41,294 --> 00:18:44,079 Yep,and I'm eager to learn. 452 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:47,648 A warning -- my form is clumsy,but I'm great on my feet. 453 00:18:51,652 --> 00:18:54,394 Okay, who gets the dude? 454 00:18:54,437 --> 00:18:55,873 This never happened. 455 00:18:59,442 --> 00:19:01,444 Fine, I'll take him. 456 00:19:01,488 --> 00:19:03,142 But we're just gonna hang out and see where it goes. 457 00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:07,929 Mmm! 458 00:19:13,848 --> 00:19:15,197 Pardon the interruption. 459 00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:16,677 It looks like you're finished with the slider? 460 00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:19,288 I am, and can I be honest?I prefer bigger buns. 461 00:19:19,332 --> 00:19:21,551 It's wonderful to just talk like men sometimes, isn't it? 462 00:19:21,595 --> 00:19:22,378 It is. 463 00:19:27,035 --> 00:19:28,210 Jay,what are you doing here? 464 00:19:28,254 --> 00:19:30,169 I've spent the whole day looking for that miserable -- 465 00:19:33,259 --> 00:19:34,477 You're the Foodie in a Who-dy?! 466 00:19:34,521 --> 00:19:36,218 W-Why would you say that? 467 00:19:37,698 --> 00:19:39,221 Ketchup! 468 00:19:39,265 --> 00:19:40,788 I'm trying, but I'm lost! 469 00:19:40,831 --> 00:19:42,224 You insulted my mother! 470 00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:45,009 Oh, my God.You're Close to Utlaw?! 471 00:19:45,053 --> 00:19:46,489 It's Closet Outlaw! 472 00:19:46,533 --> 00:19:48,056 Jay, I don't blame youfor being mad. 473 00:19:48,099 --> 00:19:50,841 I-I turned my legions of fansagainst you, and, uh... 474 00:19:50,885 --> 00:19:52,626 it's Foodie in a Hoodie,by -- by the way. 475 00:19:52,669 --> 00:19:54,628 But you got a bigger problemat home that I just heard about, 476 00:19:54,671 --> 00:19:56,325 and I thinkI can help you with it. 477 00:19:56,369 --> 00:19:58,109 Claire?Oh! Gloria. 478 00:19:58,153 --> 00:19:59,459 I can't believe you recognized me. 479 00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:01,461 I'm so sorry about my hair. 480 00:20:01,504 --> 00:20:05,160 I'm so glad that we canfinally talk about it. 481 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:08,381 Grow it out,let yourself be a girl. 482 00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:10,513 Higgins: Okay,final set of instructions 483 00:20:10,557 --> 00:20:12,428 on a day that will no doubtbe a memorable chapter 484 00:20:12,472 --> 00:20:14,604 in my forthcoming memoir, "You Rang?" 485 00:20:14,648 --> 00:20:15,823 You, Cabana 2. 486 00:20:15,866 --> 00:20:16,824 You, Cabana 3. 487 00:20:16,867 --> 00:20:17,999 Oh. 488 00:20:20,567 --> 00:20:23,222 You areromantic. 489 00:20:24,571 --> 00:20:26,747 Honey, if you don't like my hair, I can change it. 490 00:20:26,790 --> 00:20:28,314 What? I love it. 491 00:20:28,357 --> 00:20:29,532 Maybe next week I can arrange 492 00:20:29,576 --> 00:20:31,752 a little rendezvous with a redhead. 493 00:20:33,144 --> 00:20:35,277 O-Okay. 494 00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:37,105 I'm glad we cleared that up. 495 00:20:37,148 --> 00:20:38,976 I can't waitfor my bowling lesson with you. 496 00:20:39,020 --> 00:20:40,717 Oh, my God. 497 00:20:40,761 --> 00:20:42,328 Foot-y in a Hoodie was here today. 498 00:20:42,371 --> 00:20:44,721 Ah, you're great. 499 00:20:44,765 --> 00:20:46,157 When does Posh get here? 500 00:20:46,201 --> 00:20:47,724 And I apologize for being late. 501 00:20:47,768 --> 00:20:49,291 You know, I-I left a message. 502 00:20:49,335 --> 00:20:50,553 I'm sorryI missed your call. 503 00:20:50,597 --> 00:20:51,685 Can you say that one more time? 504 00:20:51,728 --> 00:20:52,816 Um... 505 00:20:55,428 --> 00:20:58,213 So, I got a few incidental charges from yesterday. 506 00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,302 $200 for Sugar Baby procurement? 507 00:21:00,346 --> 00:21:01,738 Sorry. 508 00:21:01,782 --> 00:21:04,350 Eight sliders and one coconut water? 509 00:21:04,393 --> 00:21:05,481 He charged me for that? 510 00:21:05,525 --> 00:21:08,136 $300 for a slide rescue. 511 00:21:08,179 --> 00:21:11,095 $40 fine for the non-wiping of stationary bike. 512 00:21:11,139 --> 00:21:12,227 I barely sweat. 513 00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:13,707 You're sweating right now. 514 00:21:13,750 --> 00:21:17,406 A $150 fine for the non-return of leg warmers. 515 00:21:17,450 --> 00:21:20,191 And eight $100 Westworld entry fees? 516 00:21:22,193 --> 00:21:24,370 Oh, my God. We left Cam there! 517 00:21:24,413 --> 00:21:25,980 Oh, no!