1 00:00:05,309 --> 00:00:06,441 Are -- Are you awake? 2 00:00:06,484 --> 00:00:09,096 I slept for six minutestwo hours ago. 3 00:00:09,139 --> 00:00:10,488 I'm gonna have to takea sleeping pill, 4 00:00:10,532 --> 00:00:12,099 which means you're gonnahave to hide my car keys, 5 00:00:12,142 --> 00:00:13,578 laptop,and Reba McEntire wig. 6 00:00:14,884 --> 00:00:16,233 It's been a crazy couple days. 7 00:00:16,277 --> 00:00:17,930 Uh, yesterday, I found out I didn't get 8 00:00:17,974 --> 00:00:20,716 the college football coaching job that I had been chasing. 9 00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:22,283 I was -- I was devastated. 10 00:00:22,326 --> 00:00:23,936 And moments before that,we got a phone call 11 00:00:23,980 --> 00:00:26,330 from our old adoption agencywith the opportunity 12 00:00:26,374 --> 00:00:27,505 for us to adopt a baby boy. 13 00:00:27,549 --> 00:00:29,246 So, a door closes... 14 00:00:29,290 --> 00:00:30,552 A window opens. Yeah. 15 00:00:30,595 --> 00:00:32,119 But do you answer it? 16 00:00:32,162 --> 00:00:34,121 You don't answer windows. 17 00:00:34,164 --> 00:00:36,340 Well, how fun for you. Cam made a little mistake. 18 00:00:37,907 --> 00:00:40,475 I keep making lists of all the pros and cons in my head. 19 00:00:40,518 --> 00:00:42,738 Uh, the -- the way a baby smellsis on both. 20 00:00:42,781 --> 00:00:44,783 Okay, alright. Pros, go. 21 00:00:44,827 --> 00:00:47,786 Okay, well, a baby to love. The sound of giggling. 22 00:00:47,830 --> 00:00:49,571 You know, a bigger family, 23 00:00:49,614 --> 00:00:52,356 an extra vote on whether to pullthe plug on us when we get old. 24 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:54,228 I'm worried that Lily has an itchy trigger finger. 25 00:00:54,271 --> 00:00:55,925 Yeah, and another childwould help us figure out 26 00:00:55,968 --> 00:00:58,493 how much of Lily's personalityis our fault and what's on her. 27 00:00:58,536 --> 00:00:59,668 It would be nice to be vindicated. 28 00:00:59,711 --> 00:01:01,496 Okay, other pros -- Christmases. 29 00:01:02,714 --> 00:01:04,107 Dipping little toes into the ocean 30 00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:05,369 for the first time, 31 00:01:05,413 --> 00:01:07,806 the way a toddlerrun towards the door 32 00:01:07,850 --> 00:01:10,374 in their jammies saying,"Daddy!" 33 00:01:10,418 --> 00:01:11,332 Okay, you'd better hit me with some cons. 34 00:01:11,375 --> 00:01:12,463 I'm practically ovulating. 35 00:01:12,507 --> 00:01:15,988 Okay, no sleep, car seats, diapers, 36 00:01:16,032 --> 00:01:18,774 coughs and colds, all -- all the doctor's appointments, 37 00:01:18,817 --> 00:01:21,211 plastic toys everywhere.Everywhere. 38 00:01:21,255 --> 00:01:23,126 Our -- Our place is already too small. 39 00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:24,258 We don't have enough bedrooms. 40 00:01:24,301 --> 00:01:25,563 Mnh-mnh. 41 00:01:25,607 --> 00:01:27,348 Oh, God, the clock is ticking. 42 00:01:27,391 --> 00:01:28,914 We have half a day to give them an answer. 43 00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:30,568 Okay, you know what,no thinking. 44 00:01:30,612 --> 00:01:34,703 On the count of three,say yes or no. 45 00:01:34,746 --> 00:01:36,444 One, two, three... 46 00:01:37,836 --> 00:01:39,969 I don't know.I can't decide! 47 00:01:40,012 --> 00:01:42,972 --Captions by VITAC-- 48 00:01:43,015 --> 00:01:45,975 Captioning Provided by 20th Century Fox Television and ABC, Inc. 49 00:01:46,018 --> 00:01:49,021 and brought to you by Ford. Going further, so you can. 50 00:01:54,026 --> 00:01:56,855 Hey, why is there a blackSuburban outside with a driver? 51 00:01:56,899 --> 00:01:58,553 My company sent it. 52 00:01:58,596 --> 00:02:00,642 I'm manning the Helo Dynamics booth 53 00:02:00,685 --> 00:02:02,209 for the job recruitment fair at Caltech. 54 00:02:02,252 --> 00:02:03,427 Wow! 55 00:02:03,471 --> 00:02:07,344 Look at you, being chauffeured in a giant SUV. 56 00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:09,868 When I picture you driving, you're crying in a Prius. 57 00:02:09,912 --> 00:02:11,870 I do cry less when I'm driven. 58 00:02:11,914 --> 00:02:14,177 And that outfit is on point. 59 00:02:14,221 --> 00:02:17,267 Well, I mean, it's -- it's sortof a triumphant return for me. 60 00:02:17,311 --> 00:02:20,009 I spent four years therein sweats, with greasy hair, 61 00:02:20,052 --> 00:02:21,880 caring only about grades. 62 00:02:21,924 --> 00:02:23,186 The only time anyoneever noticed me was when 63 00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:26,363 I pulled out all my eyebrowsduring finals week. 64 00:02:26,407 --> 00:02:29,758 Now I have a big job,swanky apartment, 65 00:02:29,801 --> 00:02:31,977 shoes that cost morethan my first laptop... 66 00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:33,588 Oh, it's like a rom-com -- 67 00:02:33,631 --> 00:02:36,330 you left a nerd and returned a hot nerd. 68 00:02:37,461 --> 00:02:38,375 Ooh! Speaking of hot people, 69 00:02:38,419 --> 00:02:40,551 maybe I should go and recruit for NERP. 70 00:02:40,595 --> 00:02:42,466 For legal reasons, we need a science-y person 71 00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:44,207 to endorse product. 72 00:02:44,251 --> 00:02:46,296 Considering we're all a bunch of people who didn't graduate college, 73 00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:48,472 we sell a lot of products that go inside of you. 74 00:02:48,516 --> 00:02:51,127 Yeah, no,it doesn't really work that way. 75 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,650 A, you have to be invited, 76 00:02:52,694 --> 00:02:54,826 and B,no self-respecting scientist 77 00:02:54,870 --> 00:02:57,351 is going to endorse the nonsenseyour company is pushing. 78 00:02:57,394 --> 00:03:00,005 Excuse me, but our copper-infused toothpaste 79 00:03:00,049 --> 00:03:03,008 is on the FDA's top ten items to watch, so... 80 00:03:05,315 --> 00:03:07,622 Phil! Phil, can you come in here? 81 00:03:07,665 --> 00:03:09,928 I've worked up a little presentation 82 00:03:09,972 --> 00:03:12,366 for my Skype interview, and Iwould love to get your feedback. 83 00:03:12,409 --> 00:03:13,845 Yes, please! 84 00:03:13,889 --> 00:03:16,500 You've been such a cheerleaderfor me with all my magic shows 85 00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:18,241 and SCARB dinners,I'd love to be yours. 86 00:03:18,285 --> 00:03:19,286 Hit it. 87 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,376 I'm gonna stop you right there. 88 00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:24,247 I've been out of work for a few months, 89 00:03:24,291 --> 00:03:26,162 and I've gotten kinda antsy. 90 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:29,600 To channel my anxiety, I have cleaned, I have organized. 91 00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:31,428 Perhaps a bit obsessively. 92 00:03:31,472 --> 00:03:32,690 Doctors were consulted. 93 00:03:32,734 --> 00:03:35,171 One -- a therapist, so not even a real doctor. 94 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,129 But meds were quickly dismissed. 95 00:03:37,173 --> 00:03:39,523 We didn't wantthe sexual side effects. 96 00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:40,742 Anyway... 97 00:03:40,785 --> 00:03:44,093 I am going to channel my anxietyinto a career. 98 00:03:44,136 --> 00:03:46,269 I am interviewing for my dream job -- 99 00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:50,882 Senior VP of my favorite organizing chain store, 100 00:03:50,926 --> 00:03:52,144 Organize 'Em! 101 00:03:52,188 --> 00:03:53,624 I'm so excited, I could have an organaz-- 102 00:03:53,668 --> 00:03:55,452 You're better than that. 103 00:03:57,411 --> 00:03:59,282 So, throughout the call, I'm gonna be referring 104 00:03:59,326 --> 00:04:00,675 to this organizational system 105 00:04:00,718 --> 00:04:04,156 that I created using the Organize 'Em products. 106 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:05,941 Smart. Yeah. Watch. 107 00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:08,857 Oh, Ms. Beckman, what an interesting point. 108 00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:12,077 I should jot that down. 109 00:04:12,121 --> 00:04:13,296 Boop. 110 00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:14,558 Bop. 111 00:04:14,602 --> 00:04:16,386 Bam. 112 00:04:18,345 --> 00:04:20,347 What the hell is that? 113 00:04:21,826 --> 00:04:23,741 Oh, my God. What? 114 00:04:23,785 --> 00:04:26,527 Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you, your dad came over to help me. 115 00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:27,658 I gotta fix that step. 116 00:04:27,702 --> 00:04:28,964 It splintered. 117 00:04:29,007 --> 00:04:30,922 I wiped out this morning and landed on my head. 118 00:04:30,966 --> 00:04:32,359 Yeah, but my call. 119 00:04:32,402 --> 00:04:33,969 We gotta take care of that before someone gets hurt. 120 00:04:34,012 --> 00:04:35,449 Someone did. 121 00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:37,233 I mean, what if it was Haley with the babies? Or Dylan? 122 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,974 Or...?Or me. I threw up. 123 00:04:39,017 --> 00:04:42,020 Holy Moses. Gloria was here yesterday in heels. 124 00:04:42,064 --> 00:04:43,021 That could've been ugly. 125 00:04:43,065 --> 00:04:44,458 I'm sleepy. 126 00:04:44,501 --> 00:04:46,764 Buddy, you gotta move. Someone's gonna trip over you. 127 00:04:46,808 --> 00:04:48,810 Hey, guys, we can't do thisright now, okay? 128 00:04:48,853 --> 00:04:51,552 I've got -- I've gotan interview at 1:23. 129 00:04:51,595 --> 00:04:52,553 Well, that's specific. 130 00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:54,555 No, not for Audrey Beckman. 131 00:04:54,598 --> 00:04:56,470 Her whole life is scheduled downto the second. 132 00:04:56,513 --> 00:04:58,472 She's a god to OCD people. 133 00:04:58,515 --> 00:04:59,690 Why do you thinkI've got that bumper sticker 134 00:04:59,734 --> 00:05:02,476 that says "Straighten It Like Beckman"? 135 00:05:02,519 --> 00:05:03,955 Can I come down now? 136 00:05:03,999 --> 00:05:05,609 If I don't have the babies' bottles 137 00:05:05,653 --> 00:05:06,828 when they wake up, they're mean. 138 00:05:06,871 --> 00:05:09,483 You're not even in the terrible twos yet. 139 00:05:09,526 --> 00:05:10,571 Oh, when do those start? 140 00:05:10,614 --> 00:05:12,268 Okay, look, it's almost time. 141 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:15,576 Just please, nobody make anynoise, nobody go in that office. 142 00:05:15,619 --> 00:05:17,229 I have all my ducks in a row. 143 00:05:17,273 --> 00:05:19,014 I'm just gonna run upstairsand change my shirt. 144 00:05:19,057 --> 00:05:20,145 Oh, okay, but be careful. 145 00:05:20,189 --> 00:05:22,017 I know what I'm doing, I have got this. 146 00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:24,454 Oh!Oh! Oh, boy! Oh, God! 147 00:05:24,498 --> 00:05:25,499 My leg is stuck! 148 00:05:25,542 --> 00:05:27,283 Somebody do something! 149 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,589 I'm really goodat getting rings off. 150 00:05:28,632 --> 00:05:30,765 Do you want meto butter your thighs? 151 00:05:30,808 --> 00:05:32,941 Hey, Dylan, sometimes I like to play things out 152 00:05:32,984 --> 00:05:34,551 in my head first, if that's helpful. 153 00:05:37,641 --> 00:05:40,209 Hey, honey, uh, we need to talk to you about something.Hey. 154 00:05:40,252 --> 00:05:41,515 Sweetie, this is somethingpretty big, 155 00:05:41,558 --> 00:05:43,212 and I -- I want you to brace yourself. 156 00:05:45,301 --> 00:05:46,520 The adoption agency called -- 157 00:05:46,563 --> 00:05:48,086 I'm not going back! 158 00:05:48,130 --> 00:05:50,959 Do you know what happens to soft, entitled kids in Da Nang? 159 00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:52,656 No, no, no, no, no, no!No, no. 160 00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:53,788 N-No. No. 161 00:05:55,006 --> 00:05:56,573 There's a baby boy -- 162 00:05:56,617 --> 00:05:58,009 Ohhh. 163 00:05:58,053 --> 00:05:59,620 I think you should do it. 164 00:05:59,663 --> 00:06:00,751 Really? Just -- Just like that?What? 165 00:06:00,795 --> 00:06:03,624 Whatever stops you dropping by my sleepovers. 166 00:06:03,667 --> 00:06:05,190 You guys are way too focused on me. 167 00:06:05,234 --> 00:06:07,062 Plus, I think it'd be fun to have a baby brother. 168 00:06:07,105 --> 00:06:09,020 Oh? Although... 169 00:06:09,064 --> 00:06:10,457 Although what? 170 00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,589 Aren't you guys kind of old to be having a baby? 171 00:06:12,633 --> 00:06:14,896 I'm getting into the juicy part of my teen years. 172 00:06:14,939 --> 00:06:16,637 I don't want to have to take over for you. 173 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:18,987 Okay,we are not that old. 174 00:06:19,030 --> 00:06:20,641 You're like 50. 175 00:06:20,684 --> 00:06:22,469 Oh, my God! No! 176 00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:24,514 Daddy's 44, and I'm 48. 177 00:06:24,558 --> 00:06:27,256 You do realize when the baby's a senior in high school, 178 00:06:27,299 --> 00:06:28,649 you guys will be senior citizens? 179 00:06:28,692 --> 00:06:30,694 We will not be senior c-- 180 00:06:30,738 --> 00:06:32,653 Cam.Sixty-six. 181 00:06:32,696 --> 00:06:33,480 I'll be sixty-six. 182 00:06:33,523 --> 00:06:34,437 And I'll be sixty-one. 183 00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:35,525 Well, sixty-two. 184 00:06:35,569 --> 00:06:36,483 Not until June! 185 00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:42,271 It's not working!My leg is really stuck in there! 186 00:06:42,314 --> 00:06:44,142 It might be time to return to myidea. 187 00:06:44,186 --> 00:06:45,492 I'm not cutting my leg off. 188 00:06:45,535 --> 00:06:47,711 Think about how fast you would run with a robot leg. 189 00:06:47,755 --> 00:06:50,453 Luke, your mom's not getting a robot leg! 190 00:06:50,497 --> 00:06:52,629 She'd need two, or she'd just run in circles. 191 00:06:52,673 --> 00:06:54,022 Come on, let's checkunder the stairs. 192 00:06:54,065 --> 00:06:55,893 Yes, please, and hurry! 193 00:06:55,937 --> 00:06:58,330 What the hell's the matterwith this house? 194 00:06:58,374 --> 00:07:00,158 How could two steps be broken? 195 00:07:03,205 --> 00:07:06,382 My God, the humidity.My hair's gonna frizz out. 196 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,340 That's why I never showany pictures from 'Nam. 197 00:07:08,384 --> 00:07:10,604 Oh, no, I totally forgot about the humidifier 198 00:07:10,647 --> 00:07:12,127 for my mushroom log. 199 00:07:13,171 --> 00:07:14,608 It needed darkness and moisture. 200 00:07:14,651 --> 00:07:16,566 It must have rotted the wood. 201 00:07:18,568 --> 00:07:21,702 Wow, honey, you're reallywedged in here tight. 202 00:07:21,745 --> 00:07:22,920 Yeah, no kidding. 203 00:07:22,964 --> 00:07:25,183 Why can't you buy your mushrooms at a store, 204 00:07:25,227 --> 00:07:26,620 like a normal person? 205 00:07:26,663 --> 00:07:28,056 Store-bought mushrooms? 206 00:07:28,099 --> 00:07:30,537 You really don't getmy generation, Boomer. 207 00:07:30,580 --> 00:07:32,321 Maybe this'll enlighten you. 208 00:07:32,364 --> 00:07:33,322 Open up. 209 00:07:33,365 --> 00:07:34,410 Get your hand away from my -- 210 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:35,716 Open up! 211 00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:40,982 That's damn good. 212 00:07:41,025 --> 00:07:43,201 Why do I always default to "no"? 213 00:07:43,245 --> 00:07:46,553 Is Gloria right? Should I try slim-cut jeans? 214 00:07:47,815 --> 00:07:49,773 Guys! What's going on down there?! 215 00:07:49,817 --> 00:07:51,732 Your foot's stuckbetween two copper pipes. 216 00:07:51,775 --> 00:07:53,560 We're gonna have to cut it. 217 00:07:53,603 --> 00:07:54,865 It might take a while. 218 00:07:54,909 --> 00:07:56,737 I don't have a while! 219 00:07:56,780 --> 00:07:58,782 I can't believe this. I'm going to miss my interview. 220 00:07:58,826 --> 00:08:00,871 And this was my dream job! 221 00:08:00,915 --> 00:08:03,178 I was gonna get to organize the whole world. 222 00:08:03,221 --> 00:08:05,615 And now everything is gonna stay so messy. 223 00:08:05,659 --> 00:08:06,703 Can't you just reschedule it? 224 00:08:06,747 --> 00:08:09,445 No! Phil, I'd look like a flake! 225 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,794 This is an organizational company, 226 00:08:10,838 --> 00:08:12,970 not the loosey-goosey world of real estate, 227 00:08:13,014 --> 00:08:14,668 where everything's "See you noon to three, 228 00:08:14,711 --> 00:08:16,017 and I'll bring the cookies"! 229 00:08:16,974 --> 00:08:18,193 Sorry. I'm lashing out. 230 00:08:18,236 --> 00:08:19,803 No, it's okay. The lion doesn't lose sleep 231 00:08:19,847 --> 00:08:20,717 over the opinions of sheep. 232 00:08:20,761 --> 00:08:23,372 Honey, just take the callfrom there. 233 00:08:23,415 --> 00:08:26,418 How ridiculous would I look taking a call on stairs? 234 00:08:26,462 --> 00:08:28,812 Plus, I need my shelves, 'cause I had this whole thing 235 00:08:28,856 --> 00:08:30,553 worked out with the products and -- 236 00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:32,120 You don't need gimmicks! 237 00:08:32,163 --> 00:08:33,469 You were the C.E.O. 238 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,166 for Pritchett's freakin' Closets. 239 00:08:35,210 --> 00:08:36,951 You know how many peoplecan say that? 240 00:08:36,994 --> 00:08:38,213 Me and you! 241 00:08:38,256 --> 00:08:39,823 And Margaret every five years, 242 00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:42,391 when I went under for my colonoscopy. 243 00:08:42,434 --> 00:08:44,436 Fine. Give me my phone. 244 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:46,656 I'll bomb the interview from right here. 245 00:08:48,615 --> 00:08:51,139 She's lost her confidence. She needs those shelves. 246 00:08:51,182 --> 00:08:52,836 You know what, if she can't get to the office, 247 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:54,621 we can bring the office to her. 248 00:08:56,666 --> 00:08:58,407 You're staring. 249 00:08:58,450 --> 00:08:59,843 I'm frizzing, aren't I? 250 00:09:01,889 --> 00:09:04,979 Alex: I've got to admit, walking onto that campus... 251 00:09:05,022 --> 00:09:07,634 All those eyes on me, the adoration... 252 00:09:07,677 --> 00:09:09,723 It felt good. It felt right. 253 00:09:09,766 --> 00:09:12,639 Like I had earned everything that was coming my way. 254 00:09:12,682 --> 00:09:14,510 You suck! 255 00:09:15,511 --> 00:09:17,208 No! You! 256 00:09:17,252 --> 00:09:18,079 What? 257 00:09:18,122 --> 00:09:20,603 Helo Dynamics is evil! 258 00:09:20,647 --> 00:09:22,605 Excuse me? We help people. 259 00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:25,652 Yeah! People like fascists,dictators, oligarchs. 260 00:09:25,695 --> 00:09:27,436 What are you talking about? 261 00:09:27,479 --> 00:09:28,959 We make things like facial scanners 262 00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:31,527 that detect predisposition to genetic diseases. 263 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:32,876 Which oppressive governments use 264 00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:35,052 to identify political dissidents. 265 00:09:35,096 --> 00:09:39,187 Well, I mean, it's also used on video chats 266 00:09:39,230 --> 00:09:40,754 to turn yourself into a unicorn. 267 00:09:40,797 --> 00:09:42,233 Name one thing more fun! 268 00:09:42,277 --> 00:09:45,280 Why don't you walk your fancy shoes outta here, you sellout?! 269 00:09:45,323 --> 00:09:47,195 Why is someone wearing socks and sandals 270 00:09:47,238 --> 00:09:48,631 yelling at your fabulous shoes? 271 00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:49,632 Sellout!I don't know! 272 00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:51,068 And what are you doing here? 273 00:09:51,112 --> 00:09:52,722 Well, I'm recruiting for NERP. 274 00:09:52,766 --> 00:09:54,506 I told you I need a science-y person. 275 00:09:54,550 --> 00:09:57,074 You can't just saunter in here.You have to be approved. 276 00:09:57,118 --> 00:09:59,555 Oh. Hey, kid. You don't care what you look like. You must be smart. 277 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,078 Want to work at a place that has a lot of hot girls? 278 00:10:01,122 --> 00:10:02,427 Stop it! 279 00:10:02,471 --> 00:10:04,125 Could you make this horriblesituation any worse? 280 00:10:04,168 --> 00:10:08,129 Hell no, Helo! It's time you go! 281 00:10:08,172 --> 00:10:11,349 I didn't do that.Together: Hell no, Helo, it's time you go! 282 00:10:11,393 --> 00:10:13,743 Hell no, Helo, it's time you go!I've never seen nerdsswarm like this before! 283 00:10:13,787 --> 00:10:15,789 We're not typicallya clustering people. 284 00:10:15,832 --> 00:10:16,920 Oh, my God. It's Arvin. 285 00:10:16,964 --> 00:10:18,792 Oh, no.I emailed him I'd be here. 286 00:10:18,835 --> 00:10:21,229 Oh, this is gonna be so awkward for me! 287 00:10:21,272 --> 00:10:23,144 The last time I saw him, I broke his heart. 288 00:10:23,187 --> 00:10:24,580 Awkward for you? 289 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:28,018 These people hate me so much,they're making eye contact! 290 00:10:28,062 --> 00:10:29,585 Alex? Hi! 291 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,152 What's all the com-- 292 00:10:31,195 --> 00:10:32,588 Haley. 293 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,372 Arvin. Hi. 294 00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:35,722 I didn't know you'd be here. 295 00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:37,941 This isn't going to be easy to say. 296 00:10:37,985 --> 00:10:39,377 I got married, and I have twins. 297 00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:40,814 I know. Yes. 298 00:10:40,857 --> 00:10:43,512 It was the lead story in Dylan's holiday newsletter. 299 00:10:43,555 --> 00:10:45,862 You sure you haven't been stalking a little? 300 00:10:45,906 --> 00:10:47,516 No. No, that's why. 301 00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:51,259 Alex, is this directed at you? 302 00:10:51,302 --> 00:10:53,304 Yes. Yes, it is. 303 00:10:53,348 --> 00:10:55,480 And they are so mean! 304 00:10:55,524 --> 00:10:56,917 Hell no, Helo! 305 00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:57,961 Uh, excuse me. 306 00:10:58,005 --> 00:11:01,356 Uh, you -- you all know I'm a cool guy, right? 307 00:11:01,399 --> 00:11:03,575 I'm chill with you calling me Arvin. 308 00:11:03,619 --> 00:11:07,536 We had class outside that one time. 309 00:11:07,579 --> 00:11:08,885 Hmm? Will you just give us a minute? 310 00:11:08,929 --> 00:11:13,063 I assure you, she will feel the full effects of my rage. 311 00:11:14,456 --> 00:11:16,066 So, how have you been?Not so great. 312 00:11:16,110 --> 00:11:17,938 They're not fans of your employer? 313 00:11:17,981 --> 00:11:20,070 Which is so unfair! 314 00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:21,506 I'm doing very advanced research 315 00:11:21,550 --> 00:11:23,160 that could have far-reaching implications. 316 00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:24,553 Yeah. Of course you are. 317 00:11:24,596 --> 00:11:25,423 One sec. 318 00:11:25,467 --> 00:11:27,991 How do you sleep at night?! 319 00:11:28,035 --> 00:11:29,123 Okay, so, you, too? 320 00:11:29,166 --> 00:11:30,385 No, of course not. 321 00:11:30,428 --> 00:11:32,953 I am not here to judge youor your boss -- 322 00:11:32,996 --> 00:11:34,084 Satan! 323 00:11:36,652 --> 00:11:38,785 Anyway, I just thought I'd dropby and say a quick hello. 324 00:11:38,828 --> 00:11:40,134 Haley, lovely to see you. 325 00:11:40,177 --> 00:11:41,744 You haveto move on. 326 00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:43,877 Alex, I wish you nothingbut the best. 327 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:44,791 Okay. 328 00:11:44,834 --> 00:11:47,794 Right, guys. Now with feeling. 329 00:11:47,837 --> 00:11:51,145 Together: Hell no, Helo! It's time you go! 330 00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:54,235 Hell no, Helo! It's time you go! 331 00:11:54,278 --> 00:11:55,802 What Lily said really got to us. 332 00:11:55,845 --> 00:11:58,326 Maybe we aretoo old to have a new baby. 333 00:11:58,369 --> 00:12:00,415 Yesterday, I found hairson my ears 334 00:12:00,458 --> 00:12:01,808 and I yelled at the local news. 335 00:12:01,851 --> 00:12:04,114 And I called Seinfeld "Steinfeld." 336 00:12:05,681 --> 00:12:07,204 You know, but on the other hand,there are a lot 337 00:12:07,248 --> 00:12:08,989 of men our age having babies. 338 00:12:09,032 --> 00:12:11,818 Yes, but -- but they havesecond wives and nannies -- 339 00:12:11,861 --> 00:12:13,602 who are often the same person. 340 00:12:13,645 --> 00:12:15,691 We just needed to talk to a -- a parent 341 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,867 that had a baby when theywere old. 342 00:12:17,911 --> 00:12:21,131 You must be mistaken,because I had Joe when I was 35. 343 00:12:21,175 --> 00:12:23,046 No, I remember.You had just turned -- 344 00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:24,004 She's not gonna budge. 345 00:12:24,047 --> 00:12:26,615 Okay, j-just tell us, how hard is it? 346 00:12:26,658 --> 00:12:29,357 Well, are there nights where you don't sleep 347 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,011 and you want to kill yourself? 348 00:12:31,054 --> 00:12:32,055 Of course. 349 00:12:32,099 --> 00:12:34,014 Are there shooting pains in your back 350 00:12:34,057 --> 00:12:37,669 from picking the baby and putting him down? 351 00:12:37,713 --> 00:12:38,975 Constantly. 352 00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:40,672 Okay, well, is there a but? 353 00:12:40,716 --> 00:12:42,805 It's hanging in there, but it's not the same. 354 00:12:42,849 --> 00:12:46,200 Look, I know that you guys worrythat you're too old 355 00:12:46,243 --> 00:12:49,856 or too slow to have a baby at this age. 356 00:12:49,899 --> 00:12:51,858 But guess what. 357 00:12:51,901 --> 00:12:52,859 You can! 358 00:12:52,902 --> 00:12:53,860 Aah! 359 00:12:53,903 --> 00:12:56,297 What the hell was that?A doll. 360 00:12:56,340 --> 00:12:58,734 It was supposed to prove that you guys were ready 361 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,040 to have a baby, 362 00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:03,086 but if this was a real one, you would have killed it. 363 00:13:03,130 --> 00:13:05,872 Well, wouldn't it be your fault for throwing it? 364 00:13:05,915 --> 00:13:08,048 Give me a break. I was trying something. 365 00:13:08,091 --> 00:13:10,093 I'm in the middle of selling a house. 366 00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:11,616 Oh, yeah,it's very cute, by the way. 367 00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:12,922 How many bedrooms is it? 368 00:13:12,966 --> 00:13:13,923 Three and a den. 369 00:13:13,967 --> 00:13:15,011 Oh, that's one more than we have. 370 00:13:15,055 --> 00:13:16,534 Mitchell, this house, huh? 371 00:13:16,578 --> 00:13:18,536 Cam, I can't even begin to think about a house 372 00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:20,843 when we haven't even made a decision about whether or not 373 00:13:20,887 --> 00:13:22,105 we're going to --But maybe it's a sign. 374 00:13:22,149 --> 00:13:24,281 You know, the new job goes away,a baby comes along, 375 00:13:24,325 --> 00:13:25,761 and all of a sudden,we're standing in a charming 376 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,850 three-bedroom --Three and a half bath. 377 00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:29,983 Which, holy cow, we could affordif we just switch back 378 00:13:30,026 --> 00:13:31,419 to grocery store face cream.No. 379 00:13:31,462 --> 00:13:33,856 And it's in a great school district. 380 00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:34,988 You know what?She's right about that. 381 00:13:35,031 --> 00:13:36,424 They have a full-time nurse. 382 00:13:36,467 --> 00:13:38,513 We have a Band-Aid jarand a can of ginger ale. 383 00:13:38,556 --> 00:13:40,210 Okay, we already have too much on our plate. 384 00:13:40,254 --> 00:13:41,690 We're not buying this house! 385 00:13:41,733 --> 00:13:44,475 Oh, and in the basement, they have a karaoke room 386 00:13:44,519 --> 00:13:46,913 for people that want to impersonate divas 387 00:13:46,956 --> 00:13:49,045 without their fathers seeing them. 388 00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:51,961 Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to look. 389 00:13:54,181 --> 00:13:57,010 I don't know, guys. Does it really look like I'm in my office? 390 00:13:57,053 --> 00:13:58,925 Jaws wasn't a real shark,but I still wouldn't 391 00:13:58,968 --> 00:14:00,883 sit on a toilet seatfor months. 392 00:14:00,927 --> 00:14:02,667 How's this angle, Mom? 393 00:14:02,711 --> 00:14:04,931 Um, uh, fine, I guess. 394 00:14:04,974 --> 00:14:07,585 My cheek is itching! Is there something on my face? 395 00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:10,675 Admiral Ackbar,what the hell happened to you? 396 00:14:10,719 --> 00:14:12,503 I'll bet it was your stupid mushrooms! 397 00:14:12,547 --> 00:14:14,114 Why do I try new things? 398 00:14:14,157 --> 00:14:15,942 I'm sticking to my Brett Favre jeans! 399 00:14:15,985 --> 00:14:18,118 Oh, God! That's her! That's her! 400 00:14:18,161 --> 00:14:19,032 Shh! Everybody quiet! 401 00:14:19,075 --> 00:14:20,729 Wait, I have to get up there with the babies -- 402 00:14:20,772 --> 00:14:21,817 Shh! Sit! 403 00:14:23,123 --> 00:14:24,341 Hi, Ms. Beckman. 404 00:14:24,385 --> 00:14:26,300 Thank you so much for this -- 405 00:14:26,343 --> 00:14:28,084 Jay: Achoo!Choo! 406 00:14:28,128 --> 00:14:29,172 ...opportunity. 407 00:14:29,216 --> 00:14:31,261 You're welcome. Achoo! 408 00:14:32,306 --> 00:14:33,611 I -- I wasn't mocking you. 409 00:14:33,655 --> 00:14:35,526 It's just that wheneverI hear someone sneeze, 410 00:14:35,570 --> 00:14:38,138 I have to sneeze, too,so that it's an even number. 411 00:14:38,181 --> 00:14:39,704 It's --it's perfectly normal. 412 00:14:39,748 --> 00:14:41,576 Oh, no, I completely understand. 413 00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:44,492 A few years ago, I forgot to tapthe towel rod twice 414 00:14:44,535 --> 00:14:45,710 when I got out of the shower, 415 00:14:45,754 --> 00:14:47,930 and we lost George Michael that day, so... 416 00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:49,976 That was you? 417 00:14:50,019 --> 00:14:51,934 Let me tell you a little bit about our company. 418 00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:53,980 Oh! I'd love that. 419 00:14:54,023 --> 00:14:56,025 But first, I'd like to take some notes. 420 00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,028 Tilt up! 421 00:14:59,072 --> 00:15:01,204 That's what I love about this industry -- 422 00:15:01,248 --> 00:15:03,163 never a "dull" moment. 423 00:15:03,206 --> 00:15:04,512 It's not plugged in. 424 00:15:09,212 --> 00:15:11,171 We like to think of "Organize 'Em" 425 00:15:11,214 --> 00:15:13,173 as a wellness company -- 426 00:15:13,216 --> 00:15:13,956 Achoo! 427 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,044 Choo!Achoo! 428 00:15:15,088 --> 00:15:16,480 A mindfulness company. 429 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,875 Are your shelves shaking? 430 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,877 Uh...yeah. 431 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:24,010 Yeah, I think we're having a little earthquake. 432 00:15:24,053 --> 00:15:25,098 You know what? Why don't I tell you 433 00:15:25,141 --> 00:15:27,100 a little something about myself? 434 00:15:28,666 --> 00:15:30,755 I like to think that I'm the kind of person 435 00:15:30,799 --> 00:15:32,757 who can see where the consumer... 436 00:15:32,801 --> 00:15:34,890 trends are leaning, 437 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,587 adjust quickly, 438 00:15:36,631 --> 00:15:38,676 and lean back the other direction. 439 00:15:40,287 --> 00:15:42,071 Oh, my God! 440 00:15:43,681 --> 00:15:45,901 Do I love organizing! 441 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,598 Baby,do I love it! 442 00:15:47,642 --> 00:15:50,123 M-Ms. Dunphy,have you been drinking? 443 00:15:50,166 --> 00:15:52,560 Just lie. She can't smell your breath. 444 00:15:52,603 --> 00:15:54,214 No, Poppy, no! 445 00:15:55,302 --> 00:15:56,259 Oh, no. 446 00:16:00,176 --> 00:16:01,438 What the hell is happening?! 447 00:16:01,482 --> 00:16:02,700 I'm calling it. 448 00:16:02,744 --> 00:16:06,487 I'm sorry, Ms. Beckman. This was a terrible idea. 449 00:16:06,530 --> 00:16:08,271 I -- Okay. 450 00:16:08,315 --> 00:16:11,274 I fell through a step, and my leg is stuck. 451 00:16:11,318 --> 00:16:15,235 And listen, there's no company I would rather work for. 452 00:16:15,278 --> 00:16:17,672 I didn't want to cancel on you, so I asked my family 453 00:16:17,715 --> 00:16:21,937 to make it look like this was my office. 454 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:24,635 Jay Pritchett, closeteer, but you probably know that. 455 00:16:24,679 --> 00:16:26,202 Achoo! Achoo! 456 00:16:26,246 --> 00:16:29,640 Could you just please get him out of my ear shot? 457 00:16:29,684 --> 00:16:31,164 Yeah, yeah, sure. 458 00:16:31,207 --> 00:16:34,167 Listen, I wanted you to think that I was a person 459 00:16:34,210 --> 00:16:36,125 who had it all together, but I'm not. 460 00:16:36,169 --> 00:16:38,823 The reality is I live in chaos! 461 00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:40,912 But that's why I love your products. 462 00:16:40,956 --> 00:16:42,305 When -- When my kids are fighting 463 00:16:42,349 --> 00:16:43,959 or -- or the grandkids are crying 464 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:47,919 or my husband is making pancakeson a pogo stick, 465 00:16:47,963 --> 00:16:50,400 I know that I can go into my office 466 00:16:50,444 --> 00:16:53,534 and file bills in a color-coded divider 467 00:16:53,577 --> 00:16:56,493 and experience one moment of peace. 468 00:16:57,668 --> 00:17:00,193 I know I'm what your company needs, 469 00:17:00,236 --> 00:17:02,238 because I know how much I need your company. 470 00:17:05,285 --> 00:17:07,113 Wow. 471 00:17:07,156 --> 00:17:08,462 I got the job! 472 00:17:08,505 --> 00:17:10,333 I'm so proud of her! 473 00:17:10,377 --> 00:17:11,987 I guessit's our lucky step. 474 00:17:14,163 --> 00:17:16,426 Don't worry. It's just me. 475 00:17:16,470 --> 00:17:18,211 Oh. See?! 476 00:17:22,258 --> 00:17:24,260 You know what?You could have defended me! 477 00:17:24,304 --> 00:17:26,132 Mm. Should I have? 478 00:17:26,175 --> 00:17:27,742 Are you saying you agree with them? 479 00:17:27,785 --> 00:17:29,700 I found their chant rather simplistic. 480 00:17:29,744 --> 00:17:32,138 You know, I would have probably gone with something like... 481 00:17:32,181 --> 00:17:34,662 "Helo Dynamics is a multinational corporation 482 00:17:34,705 --> 00:17:37,708 that prioritizes profits over ethics." 483 00:17:37,752 --> 00:17:40,146 I knew it. You arejudging me. 484 00:17:40,189 --> 00:17:42,104 Do you judge allof your students like this? 485 00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:43,671 Alex... 486 00:17:43,714 --> 00:17:47,109 all my students don't have the potential you do! 487 00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:48,676 You were extraordinary! 488 00:17:48,719 --> 00:17:52,201 You were meant to change the world! 489 00:17:52,245 --> 00:17:54,160 And it's not just me that thinks it. 490 00:17:54,203 --> 00:17:56,205 Dylan said so in his newsletter. 491 00:17:56,249 --> 00:17:57,337 Oh, spare me. 492 00:17:57,380 --> 00:18:00,166 The sanctimonious academic,looking down on the star pupil 493 00:18:00,209 --> 00:18:02,342 because of herthousand-dollar shoes! 494 00:18:02,385 --> 00:18:04,126 Those shoes were a thousand dollars? 495 00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:06,781 Damn it.Do they come with medicine for a village? 496 00:18:06,824 --> 00:18:08,348 You know what? I hate to say it, 497 00:18:08,391 --> 00:18:11,394 but I don't need your approval,because I love what I do. 498 00:18:11,438 --> 00:18:14,049 Ah. Well, I am sorry to hear that. 499 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:17,400 Don't be.I'm sorry because I am assembling a research team 500 00:18:17,444 --> 00:18:19,576 to create A.I. capable of everything 501 00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:22,362 from discovering exoplanets in deep space 502 00:18:22,405 --> 00:18:24,407 to biomarkers of disease in humans. 503 00:18:24,451 --> 00:18:28,759 And youwould've been a superbaddition 504 00:18:28,803 --> 00:18:30,544 to an exceptional team. 505 00:18:30,587 --> 00:18:31,632 But pbht! 506 00:18:31,675 --> 00:18:34,243 Well, Professor... 507 00:18:34,287 --> 00:18:36,593 you can take that job... 508 00:18:36,637 --> 00:18:38,508 and give it to me. 509 00:18:38,552 --> 00:18:40,162 But I'm going to need youto match my salary! 510 00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:41,816 I'm not sure we have that kind of money. 511 00:18:41,859 --> 00:18:42,991 Deal. 512 00:18:44,471 --> 00:18:46,473 I'm gonna go seeif I can still return these. 513 00:18:48,344 --> 00:18:50,868 And finally, back to the beautiful family room. 514 00:18:50,912 --> 00:18:52,305 It's great. 515 00:18:52,348 --> 00:18:53,393 I mean, it is beautiful. 516 00:18:53,436 --> 00:18:54,611 I can see you both 517 00:18:54,655 --> 00:18:58,311 having a delightful misunderstanding here. 518 00:18:58,354 --> 00:18:59,442 Okay, now, Mitchell.Hmm? 519 00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:01,966 You know I'm not usually impulsive -- 520 00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:04,012 Please. You never goto the grocery store alone 521 00:19:04,055 --> 00:19:05,405 and not come home with a balloon. 522 00:19:05,448 --> 00:19:07,363 But that bathroom upstairs is amazing. 523 00:19:07,407 --> 00:19:10,410 Yeah, and I -- I do love theidea of me having my own sink. 524 00:19:10,453 --> 00:19:12,977 Our housekeeper would finallyrealize who the realvillain is. 525 00:19:13,021 --> 00:19:14,414 Okay, so we should -- we should do it! 526 00:19:14,457 --> 00:19:15,632 Let's do it! 527 00:19:15,676 --> 00:19:17,417 Buy this house? Yeah. 528 00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:19,593 We haven't even made a decisionabout the baby yet. 529 00:19:19,636 --> 00:19:23,118 Oh. Another broker just sent me a text. 530 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,425 An offer is coming at six o'clock. 531 00:19:25,468 --> 00:19:27,427 Great.Another ticking clock. 532 00:19:27,470 --> 00:19:28,384 Let's also disarm a time bomb 533 00:19:28,428 --> 00:19:29,994 while buying Beyoncé tickets online 534 00:19:30,038 --> 00:19:31,257 with an expired credit card. 535 00:19:31,300 --> 00:19:33,041 Okay, that one got to me. I'm having a hard time breathing. 536 00:19:33,084 --> 00:19:34,695 I feel like I'm gonna have a heart attack! 537 00:19:34,738 --> 00:19:37,350 And this big family room with the cozy fireplace 538 00:19:37,393 --> 00:19:39,613 is the perfect place to have that. 539 00:19:39,656 --> 00:19:40,918 Okay, you know what, Gloria? Stop. 540 00:19:40,962 --> 00:19:43,138 We -- We -- We need to think. 541 00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:44,400 No, no, no,we do not need to think. 542 00:19:44,444 --> 00:19:46,489 We need to stop this. 543 00:19:46,533 --> 00:19:47,925 Okay, within the span of eighteen hours, 544 00:19:47,969 --> 00:19:50,798 we're supposed to completelyand utterly change our lives? 545 00:19:50,841 --> 00:19:53,061 No -- No big,life-altering decision 546 00:19:53,104 --> 00:19:54,454 should be made that way. 547 00:19:54,497 --> 00:19:56,020 You're right. 548 00:19:56,064 --> 00:19:59,372 Here, let's -- Then let's not. 549 00:19:59,415 --> 00:20:01,069 Okay.It's just way too much. 550 00:20:01,112 --> 00:20:02,244 When things are right, 551 00:20:02,288 --> 00:20:04,507 i-it shouldn't bea struggle like this. 552 00:20:04,551 --> 00:20:05,291 You just know it. 553 00:20:05,334 --> 00:20:06,814 Yeah. I know. 554 00:20:06,857 --> 00:20:08,946 That little boy, he's gonna findan amazing family, right? 555 00:20:08,990 --> 00:20:11,819 Of course he is. Yeah. Yeah. 556 00:20:11,862 --> 00:20:13,429 You -- You know what? I already -- 557 00:20:13,473 --> 00:20:15,039 I already feel a little lighter. 558 00:20:15,083 --> 00:20:16,432 And we don't needthe stress of moving. 559 00:20:16,476 --> 00:20:17,868 No.Because you know what? 560 00:20:17,912 --> 00:20:19,522 I love our house. I do, too. 561 00:20:19,566 --> 00:20:21,350 It is not perfect. But neither are we.No. We aren't. 562 00:20:21,394 --> 00:20:22,960 And neither is your car. 563 00:20:23,004 --> 00:20:25,441 Can you please remove that thingfrom the driveway? 564 00:20:25,485 --> 00:20:27,835 I'm trying to sell a lifestyle here. 565 00:20:27,878 --> 00:20:30,881 Is that the adoption agency? 566 00:20:30,925 --> 00:20:32,143 Yep. 567 00:20:32,187 --> 00:20:33,493 Um... 568 00:20:33,536 --> 00:20:34,537 I'll -- I'll tell them. 569 00:20:34,581 --> 00:20:35,277 Yeah. Yeah. 570 00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:36,365 Hello. 571 00:20:41,892 --> 00:20:45,113 Uh, yes, my husbandand I would love to adopt him. 572 00:20:45,156 --> 00:20:46,680 Let's write up an offer. 573 00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:56,516 Dad. Wake up.Oh, what -- what -- what -- 574 00:20:56,559 --> 00:20:58,518 I think Daddy took a sleeping pill again. 575 00:20:58,561 --> 00:20:59,562 Is he -- 576 00:20:59,606 --> 00:21:00,998 Yep. Okay. 577 00:21:01,042 --> 00:21:03,174 ♪ He taught me to love him 578 00:21:03,218 --> 00:21:05,438 ♪ And promised to love 579 00:21:05,481 --> 00:21:09,180 ♪ And cherish me over all others above ♪ 580 00:21:09,224 --> 00:21:11,922 Come on, sing it with me, Tucson! 581 00:21:11,966 --> 00:21:15,361 ♪ My poor heart is wonderin', no misery can tell -- ♪ 582 00:21:15,404 --> 00:21:18,451 Hey, Mitchell.I have a dozen wings for Reba. 583 00:21:18,494 --> 00:21:20,235 Yep, okay, thank you so much, Corey. 584 00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:21,584 We'll see you next time. 585 00:21:21,628 --> 00:21:24,195 Tony, I'm getting a littlefeedback in my ear here. 586 00:21:24,239 --> 00:21:25,849 Tony Hammond,ladies and gentlemen!