WEBVTT

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Everybody in this lecture video what we're going to be doing is taking a look at a general letter by

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the student and then you'll be able to see how I edited how I made edits to the letter to make corrections

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and improve the score.

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And then you could look at the revised changes.

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So I've already taken a look at the letter and edited it.

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But here you can read what the letter is about in terms of what the student is supposed to cover.

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And so then after that you can actually read the letter that the student made.

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This is the student's original draft of the letter.

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And then after that you can see the other.

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You see all that red in the letter.

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So I guess those are my questions about what he did and what I think he should have done to improve

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it.

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And this one the student really wasn't really giving a controlling idea of what each body paragraph

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was about.

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And there were just many other things that needed to be done to really correct the letter or to make

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it better.

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And so these were my initial suggestions to the student about what he needed to do to really correct

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the letter and improve the letter.

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And you know you can stop the video here if you want to.

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You can stop the video here if you want to actually read through it line by line and see what I did

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and then after that we moved down.

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And you could see the changes that I made after you see the changes that I made.

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So these are the changes that I made from the from students original letter then my red line in it.

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And then to finalize version of what I would consider to be an upgraded general letter that will receive

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an extremely high score OK.

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So again the way you're starting out is we have the students original general letter OK because the

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student's original general letter then we have all of my edits and suggestions to the mistakes or problems

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and what could have been done to improve the letter even better today.

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And then after that we moved down into the revised letter with the changes that you can really see the

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difference in terms of the language has been being used.

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The adverbs that are being used the adjectives that are being used to sentence structure all those kind

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of things really you should be able to notice how there is a lot of coherence how each body paragraph

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is connected to the next body paragraph.

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And that's really what good writing is.

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OK.

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So I hope this really helps you guys in terms of being able to see what you need to do in terms of being

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able to improve your band's score with the general letter.

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OK.

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So thank you very much.

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And I'll talk to you again soon.

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Bye.