WEBVTT 00:20.680 --> 00:20.960 OK. 00:20.980 --> 00:23.740 We've talked about cohesion and coherence. 00:23.740 --> 00:29.950 Now let's talk about concise writing concise writing is a key skill for getting a really really high 00:29.950 --> 00:38.220 score is not easy but if you want to know what a skilled how you know somebody is a skilled writer it's 00:38.230 --> 00:45.700 because they're able to write concisely writing concisely means every word in the sentence counts. 00:45.700 --> 00:53.620 Sometimes when I see student writing they have a lot of articles and and b verbs and helping verbs and 00:54.130 --> 01:02.290 just a lot of just extra frivolous language and a create these super long sentences because they have 01:02.290 --> 01:10.370 so many extra words like you can have a long sentence where every word counts OK. 01:10.370 --> 01:16.190 And there's a difference between between between that between that type of writing and having just extra 01:16.190 --> 01:20.250 words. 01:20.270 --> 01:28.930 So here are some keys to eliminating eliminating are being able to be concise in terms of your writing. 01:29.180 --> 01:34.730 So you want to be able to eliminate unnecessary determiner and modifiers. 01:34.730 --> 01:38.000 So for example look here this example. 01:38.000 --> 01:40.560 Any particular type of dessert is fine with me. 01:41.870 --> 01:42.200 Right. 01:42.210 --> 01:44.340 Look at the more concise version. 01:44.400 --> 01:50.210 Any dessert is fine with me or I would look at these extra words. 01:50.330 --> 01:56.770 Particular type of dessert any dessert any dessert is the same thing as saying particular type of dessert. 01:56.770 --> 02:00.260 Now some of you might be saying well this the sentence is correct. 02:00.260 --> 02:02.210 So what does it matter. 02:02.210 --> 02:12.050 Well again concise writing is high level writing and we know this because when you look at a basic level 02:12.050 --> 02:17.720 English student they have these types of sentences that are really long because they have just extra 02:17.720 --> 02:28.350 words they don't they don't have the ability to say the same thing with less high level English writing 02:28.920 --> 02:39.390 happens where you're able to say the same thing with less the same impact with less balancing balancing 02:39.390 --> 02:44.280 the budget by Friday is an impossibility without some kind of extra help. 02:44.280 --> 02:51.540 Again extra language extra language as some of you again you're going to say but there's nothing wrong 02:51.540 --> 02:52.300 with it. 02:52.410 --> 02:59.310 I'm trying to tell you the difference between a high score on the rubric and a lower score on the rubric 03:00.360 --> 03:06.210 because lower level English students use that kind of writing some kind of 03:09.700 --> 03:18.280 so here we are again another way to be able to be more concise change phrases into single words. 03:18.280 --> 03:26.160 Look here the employee with ambition the ambitious employee the Department showing the best performance 03:26.520 --> 03:29.980 the best the best performing department. 03:30.270 --> 03:38.040 That kind of writing that concise writing where you're changing phrases into single words is the type 03:38.040 --> 03:47.980 of writing that gets really high scores when a greater sees that they're like wow wow this person really 03:47.980 --> 03:55.180 knows how to write very very well when they see a lot of those extra words it it doesn't really impress 03:55.180 --> 03:57.310 them. 03:57.310 --> 04:06.340 So something else you can do is change unnecessary change the unnecessary words that who which clauses 04:06.340 --> 04:13.700 into phrases again the report which was recently released the recently released report. 04:14.020 --> 04:21.710 All applicants who are interested in the job must all job applicants must right. 04:21.720 --> 04:28.290 That is what when we talk about concise writing When We Talk About concise writing that's what we're 04:28.290 --> 04:30.200 talking about. 04:30.330 --> 04:32.170 That's what it means to write concisely. 04:33.780 --> 04:39.140 So we also have to avoid overusing explicit explicit tips ex expletives. 04:39.150 --> 04:39.810 I'm sorry. 04:40.140 --> 04:43.290 Avoid overusing expletives at the beginning of a sentence. 04:43.320 --> 04:46.620 So I see this one a lot. 04:46.620 --> 04:49.890 It is the governor who signs or vetoes bills. 04:50.010 --> 04:53.760 There are four rules that should be observed right. 04:53.790 --> 04:58.980 The governor signs or vetoes bills for rules to be observed. 04:58.980 --> 05:01.530 That is concise writing. 05:01.530 --> 05:07.260 That is the kind of writing that will get you a really really high score 05:10.820 --> 05:14.280 use the active voice rather than the passive voice. 05:14.540 --> 05:16.920 An account was opened by Mrs. Sams. 05:16.970 --> 05:25.310 Mrs. Sams opened an account when you're writing when you're writing 90 percent of your writing should 05:25.310 --> 05:28.550 be in the active voice. 05:28.550 --> 05:31.580 90 percent of your writing should be in the active voice. 05:31.580 --> 05:37.820 When you write in the active voice you avoid being wordy. 05:37.970 --> 05:44.420 There only are there only are specific situations where you use the passive voice. 05:44.420 --> 05:50.480 So if you're just using the passive voice all over the whole essay or over the whole report and you 05:50.480 --> 05:57.200 don't have the specific situation that calls for using the passive voice you're gonna get marked down 05:57.200 --> 05:59.760 for that right. 05:59.780 --> 06:03.890 Avoid overusing now forms of verbs. 06:04.160 --> 06:07.540 The function of this department is the collection of accounts. 06:07.760 --> 06:15.910 This Department collects accounts the core of focus of the medical profession is disease prevention. 06:15.990 --> 06:18.980 The medical profession currently focuses on disease prevention. 06:18.980 --> 06:19.670 Look at this. 06:19.680 --> 06:22.920 Look at this last sentence I want you to. 06:22.930 --> 06:33.290 I just want to point out to you extra words right out of the is extra words here in this sentence start 06:33.330 --> 06:35.070 in this sentence at the bottom. 06:35.070 --> 06:41.150 Every word is necessary every word is necessary. 06:41.170 --> 06:42.950 That's what concise writing is. 06:43.000 --> 06:45.190 Everything is necessary. 06:45.490 --> 06:47.050 Everything is needed. 06:47.170 --> 06:53.630 Too many times students write sentences that have language that is not needed. 06:53.650 --> 07:01.600 All right so you have to also reword unnecessary or infinitive phrases reword unnecessary or infinitive 07:01.600 --> 07:11.800 phrases some infinitive phrases can be converted into finite verbs or brief now phrases making such 07:11.800 --> 07:17.940 changes often results in the replacement of a beaver with an action verb right. 07:19.180 --> 07:24.220 So example the duty of a clerk is to check all incoming mail. 07:24.280 --> 07:33.670 All incoming mail and to record it all clerk checks by a clerk checks and records all incoming mail. 07:33.880 --> 07:36.870 That is a concise sentence right. 07:38.540 --> 07:45.730 So a lot of times when I'm writing compounds into the complex sentences my sentences are longer but 07:45.730 --> 07:46.720 my sentences Arkansas 07:52.990 --> 07:53.310 all right. 07:53.410 --> 07:57.850 Sometimes you want to combine sentences to avoid wording this exactly. 07:57.850 --> 08:00.450 This is why I preach and preach and preach. 08:00.460 --> 08:07.210 Having the ability to write compound in complex sentences because it cuts out so many war so many extra 08:07.210 --> 08:15.950 words in this top sentence We have 22 words in this bottom sentence We have 17 words now some of you 08:15.950 --> 08:18.310 may say well that's just five words. 08:18.470 --> 08:21.190 Yes but it makes a difference. 08:21.200 --> 08:24.200 Concise writing reads better. 08:24.410 --> 08:27.290 The best writers write concisely. 08:27.290 --> 08:28.890 This is what you have to do. 08:29.030 --> 08:33.090 If you want a really really high score right. 08:33.150 --> 08:38.880 So don't come and ask me something like Well can I be wordy and still get a really high score 08:41.790 --> 08:50.190 you've got your your you really are making it a challenge to for a greater to give you a high score 08:50.640 --> 08:59.190 if you are extremely wordy in your sentences because it's not impressive worthiness is not impressive 09:00.030 --> 09:03.480 being concise is really really impressive. 09:03.540 --> 09:09.750 So if you're asking me about getting a high score it's all about your ability to impress the greater 09:12.140 --> 09:12.450 right. 09:12.460 --> 09:16.030 So you had to also eliminate some common wordy expressions 09:18.940 --> 09:19.360 avoid. 09:19.360 --> 09:22.570 There is and there are constructions. 09:22.570 --> 09:24.150 Cut them out. 09:24.220 --> 09:25.410 Stop using them. 09:26.450 --> 09:29.980 Stop using them all right. 09:30.760 --> 09:32.580 If you want to write more concisely. 09:32.620 --> 09:33.710 Stop using. 09:33.710 --> 09:41.310 There he is and there are just stop because it sounds better when you don't use them. 09:41.330 --> 09:48.110 It is better writing avoid using the first person right. 09:48.680 --> 09:55.490 Wordy I think that George's wife is unhappy because George ignores her George's wife is unhappy because 09:55.490 --> 09:57.050 George ignores her. 09:57.080 --> 10:00.410 This is a proper sentence. 10:00.450 --> 10:02.870 This is a high level sentence. 10:03.150 --> 10:07.920 This first sentence is a basic level sentence. 10:07.960 --> 10:13.450 I hope that you're seeing the difference between basic level writing and advanced level writing. 10:15.280 --> 10:15.550 Right. 10:15.570 --> 10:18.060 Sometimes people think well it's just about vocabulary. 10:18.060 --> 10:24.100 No it's not is more about sentence structure right. 10:24.450 --> 10:27.340 It's more about sentence structure. 10:27.480 --> 10:30.030 So do you have any questions. 10:30.240 --> 10:33.610 If you have any questions about concise writing let me know. 10:33.780 --> 10:44.400 I'm going to include a couple of exercises and you should do those exercises to work on your to work 10:44.400 --> 10:46.490 on your ability to do concise writing. 10:46.890 --> 10:49.530 So thanks a lot and I will talk to you soon.