WEBVTT 06:17.770 --> 06:19.390 All right. 06:20.260 --> 06:21.590 Sorry for being silent. 06:21.590 --> 06:28.630 I was writing a paragraph at the time. 06:28.630 --> 06:28.930 All right. 06:28.930 --> 06:32.530 So this is my first body paragraph from a first from a certain point of view. 06:32.530 --> 06:38.350 There are positives in my favor but these positive attributes list below do now alway outweigh the negatives. 06:38.560 --> 06:46.860 So again we are told I've sat in the topic centers and I'm going to address the in this paragraph want. 06:46.890 --> 06:53.410 I'm going to address the positives but again I'm pointing out that these positive list these positive 06:53.410 --> 06:56.880 listed below do not outweigh the negatives. 06:56.920 --> 06:57.600 Right. 06:57.880 --> 07:04.150 So throughout an essay you're always supposed to be making sure that you're making the point of your 07:04.150 --> 07:09.880 position that you that you have with it as a starting point learning a new country would allow students 07:09.880 --> 07:15.420 to become more independent because they will have to manage your food finances and transportation not 07:15.430 --> 07:23.100 only just supporters Knology supporters rely on this benefit to learn overseas. 07:23.320 --> 07:23.950 But 07:27.990 --> 07:29.340 I want to change just a little bit. 07:29.360 --> 07:38.900 I would say to support learning overseas but also they would point to the I suppose a broader perspective 07:38.900 --> 07:44.570 gained by learning in the USA Australia these benefits a perspective independence on their face and 07:44.570 --> 07:49.670 very convincing to believe that there are more positives then negatives 07:53.190 --> 07:59.800 but once we examine the negative consequences we will see that belief is unfounded. 07:59.800 --> 08:00.150 All right. 08:00.150 --> 08:05.050 So before I move on when you get when you read this paragraph this paragraph is talking about the advantages 08:05.500 --> 08:10.550 but you clearly see my position right. 08:10.560 --> 08:13.460 I haven't told you any of the negatives. 08:13.530 --> 08:17.660 I haven't suggested that there are any nega I haven't told any of the negatives yet. 08:18.000 --> 08:24.040 But even on this program I'm discussing the advantages are clear that I don't agree with this position 08:25.210 --> 08:27.130 that I'm not taking this position. 08:28.330 --> 08:28.770 Right. 08:28.770 --> 08:34.240 So I've written this paragraph in a way that supports my position. 08:34.630 --> 08:35.060 All right. 08:35.070 --> 08:42.800 So that's what I was saying before is about the language it's about the language that you are choosing. 08:46.420 --> 08:47.630 Do you suggest right. 08:47.630 --> 08:54.470 So before I take any questions on my paragraph I'll answer a couple of your questions. 08:54.480 --> 09:00.000 You suggest a training method to fix the problem of running out of sentences. 09:00.090 --> 09:01.260 I don't want to stand there. 09:01.270 --> 09:03.260 Mohamed what do you mean. 09:03.270 --> 09:08.590 What I don't understand why why would you be running out of sentences. 09:08.640 --> 09:12.090 There's there's no training method for running out of sentences. 09:12.090 --> 09:14.530 I mean you should be writing about five. 09:14.530 --> 09:19.830 You should be writing five or six sentences so you shouldn't run out of sentences if you've done if 09:19.830 --> 09:25.980 you've done an outline like I tell people to do an outline if you've got an outline you're always going 09:25.980 --> 09:27.630 to have five or six sentences 09:30.660 --> 09:31.200 right. 09:31.240 --> 09:36.070 Or unless you might you might have you might have less like here when you look at mine. 09:36.100 --> 09:38.080 I only have four sentences. 09:38.260 --> 09:43.840 But when you look at each one of my sentences they are compound and complex sentences and correlative 09:43.840 --> 09:45.610 conjunctions. 09:45.710 --> 09:46.070 Right. 09:46.070 --> 09:49.340 So I've done a lot of combining my ideas together. 10:00.630 --> 10:08.590 Deepa Yeah you can access this later because I am recording it yet it is being recorded. 10:11.460 --> 10:11.890 OK. 10:11.990 --> 10:12.350 All right. 10:12.360 --> 10:17.240 So again does anybody have any questions at all. 10:17.260 --> 10:22.640 Well what you do is share your opinion or ask me any questions about the paragraph I've written. 10:22.690 --> 10:25.140 Right. 10:25.160 --> 10:28.730 Do you understand what I've done the the questions about it. 10:32.240 --> 10:47.160 The C. 10:47.440 --> 10:47.760 All right. 10:47.780 --> 10:51.800 Whoever wrote this introduction did a pretty good job with it where we move past the introduction. 10:51.820 --> 10:55.930 But while your introduction is actually pretty good. 10:58.670 --> 11:01.110 Can I show the benefits I'm enlisted up top. 11:01.170 --> 11:02.070 OK sure. 11:10.240 --> 11:10.540 Yeah. 11:10.550 --> 11:14.700 You want to use examples sometimes also but you don't need to overuse examples son 11:19.640 --> 11:20.190 Ahmad. 11:20.210 --> 11:27.740 Again like I say it the purpose of an essay is to always be supporting your position throughout the 11:27.740 --> 11:28.560 essay. 11:28.660 --> 11:31.220 If if the question is asking for your opinion. 11:32.320 --> 11:32.880 Right. 11:32.920 --> 11:36.190 The question is asking for you to give an opinion or support a sigh. 11:37.420 --> 11:41.880 Ok what else throughout that essay you're supporting your side. 11:43.610 --> 11:45.480 All right. 11:45.730 --> 11:48.160 Right you're supporting your side always 12:01.990 --> 12:02.540 right. 12:02.630 --> 12:05.310 Dr. Shaheen. 12:06.080 --> 12:08.870 Dr. Shaheen did a pretty good one also. 12:08.870 --> 12:10.570 We'll look at Dr. Saheed. 12:10.730 --> 12:13.520 I am going to remind everybody just give me one moment OK. 12:25.430 --> 12:33.380 Right now what I like about what Dr. Sheheen did here is that I like Dr. Shahina opening paragraph in 12:33.380 --> 12:39.980 terms of from certain points there might be there might be some positive signs of studying abroad mentioned 12:39.980 --> 12:43.810 below but those could not outweigh from the negative aspects. 12:43.940 --> 12:44.470 Right. 12:44.480 --> 12:48.620 For example one may feel more independent while staying away from all distractions we can otherwise 12:48.620 --> 12:52.010 avoid seeing close relatives and other problems. 12:52.010 --> 12:58.690 Also learning about new culture and experiences is promising obviously perspectives are not greater 12:58.700 --> 13:03.100 than the big object of achieving higher education with distinction. 13:03.170 --> 13:06.050 I'm not sure about that last sentence but I do like your opening. 13:06.050 --> 13:07.540 I do like your opening. 13:08.030 --> 13:13.580 I don't quite understand this last sentence how it fits into the question but good. 13:13.580 --> 13:24.220 All right so I'm going to go ahead and move on to my going away and move on to my one more question. 13:24.250 --> 13:29.500 See let me see if I understand you. 13:29.600 --> 13:31.820 When we have. 13:32.070 --> 13:36.180 I'm laughing about the way Sun is opening her question let me see if I understand you. 13:36.360 --> 13:42.060 When we have to write questions we where we This disagree we have to write a sentence that makes clear 13:42.230 --> 13:42.740 this. 13:42.890 --> 13:49.020 Yet I would I would always be making clear here that I always be making clear my position right. 13:49.080 --> 13:50.470 That's what I would always be doing. 13:50.490 --> 13:52.110 I would also be making clear my position 14:08.060 --> 14:14.000 by for example sign if I wanted to really strengthen my position I could actually do with this sentence 14:14.000 --> 14:14.990 here. 14:14.990 --> 14:16.070 I could actually say 15:08.610 --> 15:09.730 so is the sign. 15:09.740 --> 15:16.410 Look look here son and see what I did with this one sentence right when you look at this one sentence 15:16.410 --> 15:16.990 here. 15:18.570 --> 15:24.740 Right when you look at his one sentence here you're getting that I'm talking about the advantage. 15:24.740 --> 15:27.560 But you're really clear that I don't think it's that strong. 15:30.980 --> 15:31.330 Right. 15:31.340 --> 15:33.710 I'm pointing out why I might not believe that straw. 15:33.710 --> 15:39.800 Now you don't have to agree with me or non-agreement remember they're not they're not really one. 15:39.800 --> 15:46.130 One thing that I think you have to be really careful with what they have to be really careful with is 15:46.130 --> 15:50.160 getting too caught up in too is what I'm saying. 15:50.150 --> 15:52.160 Really really good is it is it. 15:52.170 --> 15:54.020 Is this really really a strong thing. 15:54.020 --> 15:59.680 I'm saying the graders when they're grading you when I know this could I talk to them. 15:59.840 --> 16:02.780 They are only going to spend about 15 minutes on your essay. 16:04.470 --> 16:11.610 Right they're trying to they are trying to get through as many essays as they can in one hour. 16:11.880 --> 16:20.340 So if I'm greater if I can get through four you know four to five essays in an hour that's really good 16:20.340 --> 16:23.620 for me because I'm getting paid for each essay that I grade. 16:23.700 --> 16:26.300 So they have their big rubric in front of them. 16:26.750 --> 16:27.050 Right. 16:27.050 --> 16:31.380 They have their big Rubik in front of them and they're looking at a paragraph they're looking at an 16:31.380 --> 16:37.070 essay like this and they're looking at our let me look at his vocabulary. 16:37.100 --> 16:41.660 Are are the vocabulary words of vocabulary that I see this guy using. 16:41.820 --> 16:43.240 Number one are the words. 16:43.240 --> 16:45.990 Is there are there are a variety of words. 16:46.180 --> 16:48.960 Is he using synonyms. 16:48.960 --> 16:49.340 Right. 16:49.380 --> 16:55.990 And what's the level of the vocabulary is using was this is this or is this eight seven eight nine vocabularies 16:55.990 --> 16:59.000 just five or six vocabulary right. 16:59.000 --> 17:01.180 Well let me look at the grammar that he's using. 17:02.120 --> 17:06.690 Right while you can see the correlative sentences I see the conjunctions I need see the semi-colon is 17:06.690 --> 17:09.440 used correctly I see them starting with prepositions. 17:09.780 --> 17:12.560 I see them using adjective clauses correctly. 17:12.740 --> 17:17.510 Yep this does grammar grammar score is definitely a right. 17:17.540 --> 17:19.300 Let me look at the coherence. 17:19.430 --> 17:24.400 Is he answering the question and supporting his position throughout the essay. 17:24.680 --> 17:26.720 Yup that's what he's doing there. 17:26.780 --> 17:27.770 That's how they look. 17:27.770 --> 17:29.830 That's how they're looking at your essay. 17:31.340 --> 17:38.450 They're not looking at the essay and saying wow son that's a really nice point you made there. 17:39.040 --> 17:39.390 Right. 17:39.410 --> 17:40.190 Wow. 17:40.220 --> 17:41.220 That is really you. 17:41.320 --> 17:42.440 I really agree with you. 17:42.440 --> 17:44.930 There was a strong point she made. 17:44.930 --> 17:46.430 That's not what they're looking at it for. 17:46.430 --> 17:47.250 OK. 17:47.780 --> 17:53.780 So sometimes you guys have going a little bit slow because you're really trying to make sure you're 17:53.780 --> 18:01.010 saying something powerful and I will want you to really just focus on doing things that really hit the 18:01.020 --> 18:05.810 highlights in the different individual categories of the rubric. 18:05.810 --> 18:06.110 All right. 18:06.110 --> 18:09.090 I hope that's I'll try to make myself clear with that. 18:11.060 --> 18:11.840 OK. 18:20.880 --> 18:23.000 Yet you can do that. 18:23.000 --> 18:23.400 Watch it. 18:23.400 --> 18:25.970 You saw you saw that's what I did. 18:26.700 --> 18:27.780 Rush it. 18:27.920 --> 18:30.020 Ratshit I think it is. 18:30.030 --> 18:31.870 I'm sorry for mispronouncing your name. 18:31.890 --> 18:33.090 I'm sorry about that. 18:33.090 --> 18:33.390 All right. 18:33.390 --> 18:37.560 So everybody I want to move on to my next paragraph. 18:37.680 --> 18:45.750 Somebody asked me a question if I could put my parts of my outline near the paragraphs so they can see 18:47.750 --> 18:52.310 kind of what I've done and I'll be happy to do that. 18:55.780 --> 18:59.540 They want to be able to see my outline next to what I've done. 19:01.110 --> 19:02.350 Right now one thing. 19:02.430 --> 19:03.950 Everything on the outline. 19:03.960 --> 19:07.560 Just because you see something on the outline doesn't mean I want to include it. 19:07.560 --> 19:11.130 Sometimes I may end up brainstorming more ideas and I'll use 19:18.850 --> 19:19.550 OK. 19:19.610 --> 19:23.810 So if there are. 19:23.920 --> 19:25.500 OK hold on one second. 19:30.440 --> 19:33.520 Yeah that's what I just say and I'm sorry I just answered your question. 19:33.800 --> 19:36.940 I didn't I didn't I didn't go through all my benefits. 19:36.940 --> 19:41.510 Sometimes sometimes in my outline I might put more bit more benefits than I need. 19:43.040 --> 19:50.180 Well OK I might I might put more benefits that I need because when I'm out when I'm when I'm when I'm 19:50.180 --> 19:54.560 doing an outline I'm not judging my ideas right. 19:54.700 --> 19:57.110 I'm just listing when it is to come to my mind. 19:57.530 --> 20:00.060 I'm not judging them and I.