1 00:01:19,085 --> 00:01:20,264 - Has escaped today. 2 00:01:20,486 --> 00:01:23,969 He's armed and considered extremely dangerous. If seen... 3 00:01:24,289 --> 00:01:28,569 oh, swell. Some nut makes trouble, and for that, they preempt the ballgame. 4 00:01:28,925 --> 00:01:30,814 Perfect ending to an awful day. 5 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:34,512 Boss turns me down for a raise. Our kid needs braces. 6 00:01:34,829 --> 00:01:37,766 And Bonnie's making meat loaf for dinner. 7 00:01:38,865 --> 00:01:41,934 At what point exactly did I become life's punching bag? 8 00:01:48,372 --> 00:01:50,283 What's their hurry? 9 00:02:01,548 --> 00:02:04,616 Go on, push me aside, big shot. 10 00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:08,368 No reason anyone should move over and make way for Charlie Collins. 11 00:02:11,087 --> 00:02:12,517 Hey! 12 00:02:13,356 --> 00:02:15,747 Oh, that's it. No signal, no nothing. 13 00:02:16,024 --> 00:02:17,847 Just treat me like I don't exist. 14 00:02:18,092 --> 00:02:20,429 Sorry, comrade. Not this time. 15 00:02:31,835 --> 00:02:34,837 Hey, buddy. Yeah, I'm talking to you, clown. 16 00:02:35,138 --> 00:02:36,961 You think you own the whole road? 17 00:02:37,206 --> 00:02:39,149 Why, for 2 cents, I'd... 18 00:02:53,116 --> 00:02:56,315 That was the Joker. I cussed out the Joker. 19 00:03:32,143 --> 00:03:33,999 Where'd all the cops go? 20 00:03:53,325 --> 00:03:55,082 Go, go, go. 21 00:03:55,325 --> 00:03:57,716 Come on, come on. 22 00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:21,950 There's your 2 cents. Now... 23 00:04:22,444 --> 00:04:24,453 what are you going to do to me? 24 00:04:25,014 --> 00:04:26,576 Listen, I'm sorry, really. 25 00:04:26,815 --> 00:04:29,566 I had a bad day. Boss turned down my raise and... 26 00:04:29,851 --> 00:04:32,024 Now, look, my rude friend. 27 00:04:32,386 --> 00:04:35,650 We can't have people cursing at each other on the freeway. 28 00:04:35,954 --> 00:04:39,306 It's simply not polite. 29 00:04:42,593 --> 00:04:46,043 I'm just going to have to teach you some manners. 30 00:04:48,530 --> 00:04:52,592 Please don't. I have a family, a wife, a little boy. Please. 31 00:04:52,932 --> 00:04:55,422 I'll do anything to make it up. Anything. 32 00:04:56,568 --> 00:04:59,953 Anything, says you? 33 00:05:02,140 --> 00:05:03,482 Okey-dokey. 34 00:05:08,277 --> 00:05:09,936 Wallet. 35 00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:15,516 Oh, sure. I don't have much cash. 36 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:19,080 Oh, please. Don't insult me. 37 00:05:21,386 --> 00:05:25,447 "Charles Michael Collins." That's you. 38 00:05:25,788 --> 00:05:27,961 Lousy picture, though. Lousy. 39 00:05:28,223 --> 00:05:30,942 "Address, height, weight." Blah, blah, blah. 40 00:05:31,327 --> 00:05:34,777 Righty-o, Chuckers. Here's the deal. 41 00:05:35,095 --> 00:05:40,501 I'll let you off if you promise to do a little favor for me. 42 00:05:41,833 --> 00:05:43,809 Okay. What? 43 00:05:44,069 --> 00:05:48,480 I don't know! I haven't thought of it yet. 44 00:05:48,938 --> 00:05:53,219 You just toddle on back to your mundane, meaningless little life... 45 00:05:53,575 --> 00:05:57,156 and when I need you, I'll call. Fair? 46 00:05:57,478 --> 00:06:00,447 Good. Great! I'll be in touch. 47 00:06:14,055 --> 00:06:16,064 It's a waste of time, money and manpower. 48 00:06:16,324 --> 00:06:18,627 If I had the authority to block it, I would. 49 00:06:18,891 --> 00:06:20,322 Come on, commissioner. 50 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:24,720 It's free eats, and you get your picture in the paper. It's a good deal. 51 00:06:30,033 --> 00:06:33,680 "Testimonial in honor of Police Commissioner James Gordon. 52 00:06:34,003 --> 00:06:37,005 Tuesday night, the Gotham Peregrinators Club." 53 00:06:37,572 --> 00:06:39,264 Blasted waste of time. 54 00:06:39,506 --> 00:06:42,192 Most of the force would disagree with you. 55 00:06:42,476 --> 00:06:46,156 - If anyone should get a testimonial, it's you. - I'm just the night shift. 56 00:06:46,644 --> 00:06:50,804 You deal with this mess 24 hours a day. That's what those people want to honor. 57 00:06:51,383 --> 00:06:53,271 Okay, okay. What the heck. 58 00:06:53,517 --> 00:06:56,366 It's a fancy club, good food. Could be fun. 59 00:06:56,652 --> 00:07:00,200 You don't know where I can rent a tux, do you? 60 00:07:01,889 --> 00:07:04,127 I hate it when he does that. 61 00:07:09,827 --> 00:07:12,698 I arranged another early parole... 62 00:07:12,996 --> 00:07:17,473 as soon as I heard about Gordon's testimonial. 63 00:07:18,033 --> 00:07:20,555 It is to laugh, huh, Mr. J? 64 00:07:23,971 --> 00:07:25,663 I ask you, Harley... 65 00:07:25,905 --> 00:07:31,059 who's given more hours of amusement to the Gotham police force than me? 66 00:07:31,443 --> 00:07:33,005 No one, Mr. J. 67 00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:36,759 I deserve... Nay. Demand the right... 68 00:07:37,079 --> 00:07:40,016 to honor our dear commissioner as well. 69 00:07:40,315 --> 00:07:42,389 Hear, hear. 70 00:08:08,102 --> 00:08:11,682 - Gonna call in a specialist, boss? - No, no. 71 00:08:12,105 --> 00:08:13,829 Just an old friend... 72 00:08:14,071 --> 00:08:16,495 who's dying to do me a favor. 73 00:08:30,783 --> 00:08:34,081 Good one, Kenny. Go out for a long bomb. 74 00:08:37,556 --> 00:08:39,183 I got it. 75 00:08:41,825 --> 00:08:45,308 - Hello. - Hello, Charlie. 76 00:08:45,627 --> 00:08:48,182 Wrong number, pal. My name's Don. 77 00:08:48,463 --> 00:08:49,642 Oh, no, no, no. 78 00:08:49,864 --> 00:08:54,242 This is the right number, Charles Michael Collins. Oh, I don't know... 79 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,904 why you changed your name to Don Wallace... 80 00:08:57,169 --> 00:09:01,962 and moved your family to 12 Marigold Lane, Springdale, ohio. 81 00:09:02,339 --> 00:09:06,783 One might think you were trying to skip out on our little deal. 82 00:09:07,143 --> 00:09:09,031 Leave the sideburns. 83 00:09:10,110 --> 00:09:13,975 - How did you find me? - Oh, I never lost you, Chaz. 84 00:09:14,314 --> 00:09:17,797 You've become my hobby. 85 00:09:21,085 --> 00:09:23,192 Now listen up, Charlie Brown. 86 00:09:23,453 --> 00:09:25,843 You're booked on the next flight to Gotham. 87 00:09:26,121 --> 00:09:28,906 Tell the family you have to visit a sick friend. 88 00:09:29,191 --> 00:09:33,187 Oh, and let's keep this to ourselves, okay? 89 00:09:33,660 --> 00:09:36,958 Bad things happen to people who gossip. 90 00:09:37,263 --> 00:09:40,047 Capisce, Carlo? 91 00:09:41,099 --> 00:09:44,746 - Yeah. - Good. See you. 92 00:09:56,977 --> 00:10:01,137 Gotham Air flight 32 now arriving from Springdale. 93 00:10:02,547 --> 00:10:05,746 This is crazy. I can't believe I'm doing this. 94 00:10:12,287 --> 00:10:16,152 If only I had some way to, I don't know, call him. 95 00:10:35,336 --> 00:10:36,766 Hi. 96 00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:39,723 The car's this way, Charlie. 97 00:10:45,076 --> 00:10:47,217 Jumping Jiminy Christmas! 98 00:10:47,479 --> 00:10:51,311 Charlie Collins! It's been forever. 99 00:10:51,648 --> 00:10:54,236 How are you, man? You look great. 100 00:10:54,517 --> 00:10:58,480 Lost a little weight. Lost a little hair too. 101 00:10:58,886 --> 00:11:00,316 Oh, Charlie. 102 00:11:00,922 --> 00:11:03,128 Charlie, Charlie, Charlie. 103 00:11:04,257 --> 00:11:08,537 So, ready to do me that little favor? 104 00:11:08,892 --> 00:11:11,349 Please. Don't make me hurt anyone. 105 00:11:11,628 --> 00:11:14,281 Not to worry, Chuckers. 106 00:11:14,564 --> 00:11:16,289 As soon as you've done my favor... 107 00:11:17,934 --> 00:11:20,107 I'll send you right back home. I promise. 108 00:11:23,536 --> 00:11:25,480 Okay, Chaz. 109 00:11:25,738 --> 00:11:29,767 When Harley knocks on the door three times, you open it. 110 00:11:30,540 --> 00:11:32,517 - And? - That's it. 111 00:11:32,843 --> 00:11:34,917 Wait. That's the favor? 112 00:11:35,178 --> 00:11:37,187 You called me here just to open a door? 113 00:11:37,446 --> 00:11:39,968 Well, look at the size of that cake, man! 114 00:11:40,249 --> 00:11:42,935 She can't open the door and push it in all at once. 115 00:11:43,418 --> 00:11:45,175 Think! 116 00:11:46,686 --> 00:11:48,476 He's nuts. 117 00:12:00,127 --> 00:12:01,917 Not bad. 118 00:12:05,298 --> 00:12:08,497 Congratulations, Jim. I'm sorry I'm unable to stay for dinner. 119 00:12:09,701 --> 00:12:11,426 The life of a busy socialite. 120 00:12:11,670 --> 00:12:13,395 Any way I could sneak out with you? 121 00:12:20,809 --> 00:12:24,260 A room filled with cops and no way to warn them. 122 00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:31,685 If there were just some way to call Batman... 123 00:12:46,593 --> 00:12:50,819 No way. It'd never work. Not in a million... 124 00:12:51,163 --> 00:12:52,758 Well, maybe. 125 00:13:01,038 --> 00:13:04,686 - Not staying for dinner, sir? - Not with the Joker on the loose. 126 00:13:05,107 --> 00:13:08,371 Sir, I believe you may be needed inside. 127 00:13:13,612 --> 00:13:17,412 I'm honored that Gotham's finest turned out to rub elbows... 128 00:13:17,749 --> 00:13:20,915 with this tired old beat cop. 129 00:13:23,820 --> 00:13:25,610 You eating that roll, Montoya? 130 00:13:25,854 --> 00:13:27,710 I'm really very touched. 131 00:13:32,226 --> 00:13:33,820 And I'll conclude by saying... 132 00:13:34,627 --> 00:13:38,940 Don't stop now, Jimmy. The party's just starting! 133 00:13:44,034 --> 00:13:47,070 Baby doll. Entertainment. 134 00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:53,741 Hey, sugar. You want to read me my rights? 135 00:13:54,241 --> 00:13:56,894 You have the right to remain silent. 136 00:13:59,778 --> 00:14:01,340 Jerk. 137 00:14:25,562 --> 00:14:28,499 Here's to Gotham's Commissioner G. 138 00:14:28,798 --> 00:14:32,379 You lock up the weirdoes The crooks and the geeks. 139 00:14:32,768 --> 00:14:35,737 You're a hero To all the boys in blue. 140 00:14:36,036 --> 00:14:40,033 But this time, baby The joke's on you. 141 00:15:02,955 --> 00:15:08,109 Yes! Another stunning Joker entrance leaves the crowd speechless. 142 00:15:08,591 --> 00:15:10,797 Let's hear it for him, folks. 143 00:15:16,798 --> 00:15:19,321 Gee, tough audience. 144 00:15:22,635 --> 00:15:24,010 Commissioner... 145 00:15:24,237 --> 00:15:27,371 I'm here to present you with a small token of affection... 146 00:15:27,773 --> 00:15:32,152 from me and all the guys doing 25 to life. 147 00:15:39,848 --> 00:15:43,561 Wear it in good health, all remaining 59 seconds of it. 148 00:15:43,884 --> 00:15:45,827 Toodles. 149 00:15:50,588 --> 00:15:53,241 Wait. You promised to send me home. 150 00:15:53,524 --> 00:15:55,981 I never said alive. 151 00:15:56,993 --> 00:15:58,849 You dirty, evil... 152 00:16:01,028 --> 00:16:05,025 Sayonara, sucker. 153 00:16:25,612 --> 00:16:29,893 Batman! The commissioner's medal, it's a bomb! 154 00:16:40,389 --> 00:16:44,320 Guess I'll need a new hobby now that old Charlie's: 155 00:16:44,659 --> 00:16:46,897 Macramé's nice. 156 00:16:49,797 --> 00:16:51,205 That came from outside! 157 00:16:51,564 --> 00:16:55,211 Rocko, Henshaw! I smell a bat! 158 00:16:55,534 --> 00:16:57,608 Quick! To the van! 159 00:16:58,668 --> 00:17:00,742 Mr. J. 160 00:17:02,771 --> 00:17:05,588 Okay. We'll tough it out here. 161 00:17:08,342 --> 00:17:10,034 He called you his hobby? 162 00:17:10,277 --> 00:17:13,410 Yeah. For two years, he watched me like a bug in a jar. 163 00:17:13,712 --> 00:17:16,201 Watched and laughed and threatened my family. 164 00:17:16,481 --> 00:17:18,457 I had no choice, Batman, really. 165 00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:28,639 The gas is wearing off. Stay with the cops. 166 00:18:05,981 --> 00:18:07,738 I know. You're thinking: 167 00:18:07,984 --> 00:18:11,598 "What a shame. A pure, innocent little thing like her... 168 00:18:11,919 --> 00:18:15,337 led astray by bad companions." 169 00:18:17,824 --> 00:18:20,062 Right. Tell me another. 170 00:18:24,761 --> 00:18:29,303 Beauty school's starting to look pretty good about now. 171 00:18:49,578 --> 00:18:52,843 Ingenious, the way they reconstructed this temple. 172 00:18:53,147 --> 00:18:57,907 Completely accurate, right down to the poison-tipped darts. 173 00:19:04,456 --> 00:19:08,550 The drop-away floor's a nice touch too. 174 00:19:20,367 --> 00:19:21,546 Catch! 175 00:19:38,946 --> 00:19:40,408 Hold it! 176 00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:43,038 Oh, come on. 177 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,557 I said, hold it! 178 00:19:51,388 --> 00:19:53,594 You miserable little nobody! 179 00:19:53,856 --> 00:19:57,852 If I get caught, your wife and son are history! 180 00:19:58,192 --> 00:20:00,616 You're not getting caught, not this time. 181 00:20:00,895 --> 00:20:03,100 I found this blown out of the van. 182 00:20:03,462 --> 00:20:05,920 This is how it ends, Joker. No big schemes. 183 00:20:06,197 --> 00:20:08,720 No grand fight to the finish with the Dark Knight. 184 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,074 Tomorrow, all the papers will say... 185 00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:14,337 is that the great Joker was found blown to bits in an alley... 186 00:20:14,637 --> 00:20:17,257 alongside a miserable little nobody. 187 00:20:17,539 --> 00:20:19,745 Kind of funny. Ironic, really. 188 00:20:20,008 --> 00:20:22,693 See, I can destroy a man's dreams too. 189 00:20:22,978 --> 00:20:25,827 And that's really the only dream you've got, isn't it? 190 00:20:26,111 --> 00:20:28,568 Look, Charlie. You've had a busy day. 191 00:20:28,847 --> 00:20:33,455 All this running around, all this excitement with Batman! 192 00:20:33,817 --> 00:20:37,497 - Stop. You're crazy. - I had a good teacher. 193 00:20:39,155 --> 00:20:41,131 Say good night, Gracie. 194 00:20:41,523 --> 00:20:46,196 No! Batman! Batman! 195 00:20:48,027 --> 00:20:50,068 How long have you been there? 196 00:20:50,462 --> 00:20:51,772 Long enough. 197 00:20:52,064 --> 00:20:53,439 Put it down, Charlie. 198 00:20:53,664 --> 00:20:57,497 You know he'll just escape again. This is the only way my family stays safe. 199 00:20:57,833 --> 00:20:59,591 All right. You win. Take it easy. 200 00:20:59,835 --> 00:21:04,148 Here's everything on his blasted family. Names, addresses, it's all there. 201 00:21:07,007 --> 00:21:09,398 You're no fun anymore, Charlie. 202 00:21:09,675 --> 00:21:11,432 Hey, Joker. 203 00:21:25,786 --> 00:21:27,281 Gotcha. 204 00:21:28,622 --> 00:21:33,033 Oh, very funny. A million laughs. 205 00:21:33,392 --> 00:21:35,052 Go home, Mr. Collins. 206 00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:38,428 Home. I never thought that could sound so good. 207 00:21:38,895 --> 00:21:42,826 Wonder what Bonnie's making for dinner. Right now, anything would taste great. 208 00:21:43,165 --> 00:21:45,076 Even meat loaf.