1 00:01:48,256 --> 00:01:51,159 Oh, no. 2 00:02:05,970 --> 00:02:09,899 Let me in, please. I have to see Mr. Thorne. 3 00:02:18,614 --> 00:02:21,779 A Sidney Debris to see you, sir. 4 00:02:23,686 --> 00:02:24,865 Send him in. 5 00:02:28,956 --> 00:02:32,853 Mr. Thorne, I'm so grateful you're willing to see me on such short... 6 00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:35,781 Nonsense, Sidney. Come in. 7 00:02:36,063 --> 00:02:38,169 Join me for a demitasse? 8 00:02:38,432 --> 00:02:40,669 No, thank you, sir. 9 00:02:41,835 --> 00:02:45,698 Oh, sorry about the leather. 10 00:02:46,839 --> 00:02:50,102 I hear you've made quite a name for yourself on the streets. 11 00:02:50,408 --> 00:02:53,159 What is it they're calling you? Oh, yes... 12 00:02:53,444 --> 00:02:55,812 "The Man Who Killed Batman." 13 00:02:56,079 --> 00:02:58,666 Well, yes, no... That is, I didn't... 14 00:02:58,950 --> 00:03:02,115 Oh, Mr. Thorne, I'm in big trouble. 15 00:03:02,419 --> 00:03:04,525 Now, now, just relax, man. 16 00:03:04,920 --> 00:03:06,993 And tell me what's on your mind. 17 00:03:07,256 --> 00:03:11,481 Well, for a while now, I've been trying to move my way up in the rackets. 18 00:03:11,827 --> 00:03:15,505 A few nights ago, my pal Eddie G. Told me about a big drug shipment... 19 00:03:15,830 --> 00:03:18,165 he was picking up for some Mob hotshot. 20 00:03:18,433 --> 00:03:21,565 Sounded like an opportunity and I wanted in. 21 00:03:42,119 --> 00:03:44,192 Hey, hey. 22 00:03:44,454 --> 00:03:47,870 - You want to blow this whole deal? - Sorry, Eddie. 23 00:03:48,191 --> 00:03:50,680 Why did you bring along that loser? He's useless. 24 00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:52,935 Not as bait for Batman. 25 00:03:53,196 --> 00:03:56,361 He'll be too busy kicking the crud out of Sid to notice us. 26 00:03:56,831 --> 00:03:59,832 Yo, Sid. This is your big chance, bud. 27 00:04:00,133 --> 00:04:04,161 You do this job right, you might even score yourself a cool Mob name. 28 00:04:04,505 --> 00:04:06,578 Like what? 29 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:07,840 We'll call you... 30 00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:10,235 Sid the Squid. 31 00:04:10,543 --> 00:04:12,649 Sid the Squid. 32 00:04:12,911 --> 00:04:14,734 Yeah, yeah. 33 00:04:15,079 --> 00:04:18,430 Now, get your keister up there and holler if you see anything. 34 00:04:26,657 --> 00:04:28,927 Like a hungry sea predator... 35 00:04:29,192 --> 00:04:31,812 Sid the Squid stretched his tentacles... 36 00:04:32,095 --> 00:04:34,681 through the Gotham underworld. 37 00:04:34,964 --> 00:04:37,682 Yeah, boy, I'm on my way. 38 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,335 Nothing's gonna stop me now. 39 00:04:50,643 --> 00:04:52,586 That's weird, wonder where that... 40 00:05:02,821 --> 00:05:05,211 Help! 41 00:05:10,594 --> 00:05:11,805 The Batman. 42 00:05:12,630 --> 00:05:14,932 Hey, this isn't what it looks like. 43 00:05:16,799 --> 00:05:20,957 Looks like a drug run to me. Someone's flooding the streets with that trash. 44 00:05:21,303 --> 00:05:23,311 - I want his name. - I don't know. 45 00:05:23,571 --> 00:05:26,868 I'm just the lookout, honest. 46 00:05:28,208 --> 00:05:29,932 Sid's taking on the Batman. 47 00:05:30,177 --> 00:05:33,146 Little weasel's got guts. No brains, but guts. 48 00:05:33,446 --> 00:05:34,625 Split. 49 00:05:38,718 --> 00:05:42,462 Oh, I'm so sorry. It was an accident, really. 50 00:05:42,788 --> 00:05:44,480 - You okay? - Back off. 51 00:05:44,724 --> 00:05:46,153 Yes, sir. 52 00:05:53,130 --> 00:05:55,040 Don't let me fall, please. 53 00:06:08,075 --> 00:06:10,629 Stop struggling. Let go! 54 00:06:24,290 --> 00:06:26,331 - What? - What was that? 55 00:06:34,631 --> 00:06:37,796 I didn't mean it. He came at me. I was trying to get away... 56 00:06:38,101 --> 00:06:40,720 and he went over the side. Boom, whoosh, fire! 57 00:06:41,003 --> 00:06:42,760 I'm sorry. 58 00:06:43,707 --> 00:06:45,682 No one could live through that. 59 00:06:45,942 --> 00:06:51,640 You know what this means? Sid the Squid just offed the Batman. 60 00:06:56,483 --> 00:06:58,818 You should be happy, Sidney. 61 00:07:01,488 --> 00:07:03,398 Through a one-in-a-million mishap... 62 00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:07,520 you've realized the dream of every criminal in Gotham. 63 00:07:09,495 --> 00:07:12,529 The utter demise of Batman. 64 00:07:12,831 --> 00:07:15,385 You know, Mr. Thorne, my whole life... 65 00:07:15,666 --> 00:07:18,602 I've dreamed of being a big shot. 66 00:07:19,537 --> 00:07:22,571 Sidney, Sidney, Sidney. 67 00:07:26,075 --> 00:07:31,861 And that night, for one minute, all my dreams came true. 68 00:07:33,349 --> 00:07:37,693 To Sid the Squid, the man who burned the bat. 69 00:07:38,052 --> 00:07:42,080 Squid! Squid! Squid! 70 00:07:42,423 --> 00:07:44,790 The toughest guy in Gotham. 71 00:07:53,999 --> 00:07:59,019 Suddenly I'm thinking, if I take down the guy who took down Batman... 72 00:07:59,404 --> 00:08:02,537 then I'll be the toughest guy in town. 73 00:08:02,841 --> 00:08:04,946 Hey, you got my vote, chief. 74 00:08:06,442 --> 00:08:08,647 Come on, Squid, give him what for. 75 00:08:08,912 --> 00:08:12,110 - Come on, let's get it going here. - Get up. Come on. 76 00:08:35,101 --> 00:08:37,076 It was nuts, I tell you. 77 00:08:37,336 --> 00:08:41,615 Every creep and lowlife trying to get a little piece of the guy who got Batman. 78 00:08:44,976 --> 00:08:47,432 I was actually relieved when the cops showed up. 79 00:08:53,416 --> 00:08:55,271 Well, sort of. 80 00:08:55,519 --> 00:08:57,407 - Can't keep me here. - I got rights. 81 00:08:57,654 --> 00:08:58,898 Lousy bulls. 82 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:02,766 Simmer down, party boys. You'll be out tomorrow morning. 83 00:09:03,092 --> 00:09:07,469 Montoya, word is coming in from the streets on a homicide victim. 84 00:09:07,829 --> 00:09:10,863 - They have an ID? - Yeah, it's... 85 00:09:11,298 --> 00:09:12,640 It's Batman. 86 00:09:14,234 --> 00:09:15,893 What? How? 87 00:09:16,136 --> 00:09:18,046 That explosion at the customs house. 88 00:09:18,304 --> 00:09:22,529 They said it's the work of some mastermind called the Squid. 89 00:09:29,448 --> 00:09:33,028 Hey, look, Renee, the commish is taking it pretty hard. 90 00:09:33,350 --> 00:09:36,198 - Could you...? - Sure, sure. 91 00:09:40,757 --> 00:09:43,693 How about it, losers? You see anything tonight? 92 00:09:43,991 --> 00:09:46,643 What's the word on this Squid guy? 93 00:09:47,995 --> 00:09:50,417 What about you, skinny? You got anything to say? 94 00:09:53,067 --> 00:09:55,042 Just one minute, please. 95 00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:58,752 I'm Harlene Quinzelle, legal counsel to Mr. Debris. 96 00:09:59,072 --> 00:10:01,823 I paid his bail. He doesn't have to answer questions... 97 00:10:02,108 --> 00:10:04,083 until he's formally arraigned. 98 00:10:19,490 --> 00:10:21,279 Don't I know you from someplace? 99 00:10:21,525 --> 00:10:24,690 I think I served you a subpoena once. 100 00:10:25,929 --> 00:10:28,581 It was a small subpoena. 101 00:10:48,047 --> 00:10:51,790 Gee, who would care enough to bail me out of the jug? 102 00:10:52,116 --> 00:10:54,004 My mom doesn't even speak to me. 103 00:10:54,253 --> 00:10:57,254 And my parole officer's still in jail. 104 00:10:59,824 --> 00:11:02,575 Wow, lady, you sure pile on the makeup. 105 00:11:02,859 --> 00:11:05,894 My boss likes me to wear a smile to work. 106 00:11:06,196 --> 00:11:10,704 Hey, I've seen you. You work for... 107 00:11:11,066 --> 00:11:12,310 the Joker. 108 00:11:16,238 --> 00:11:19,086 Welcome, Sidney. 109 00:11:29,917 --> 00:11:32,885 Please, allow me the honor of shaking hands... 110 00:11:33,185 --> 00:11:36,001 with the man who did the impossible. 111 00:11:36,288 --> 00:11:41,243 The man who killed Batman. 112 00:11:46,564 --> 00:11:48,834 Sorry, force of habit. 113 00:11:49,098 --> 00:11:53,125 You know, there's just one thing bothering me about your story, Sid. 114 00:11:53,469 --> 00:11:57,464 No body, no batus delecti, so to speak. 115 00:11:57,805 --> 00:12:00,806 We need to pull a job tonight just to make sure. 116 00:12:01,109 --> 00:12:03,598 Make sure of what, boss? 117 00:12:05,211 --> 00:12:08,180 Why, that old Batsy's bought the cave, of course. 118 00:12:08,481 --> 00:12:12,639 And one more thing, Murphy. Don't ask stupid questions. 119 00:12:12,986 --> 00:12:14,677 What? 120 00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:25,370 I'll get the mop. 121 00:12:46,648 --> 00:12:51,385 Righty-o! Harley, you loot the safe while the boys and I set up. 122 00:12:51,752 --> 00:12:54,174 Right away, Mr. J. 123 00:12:55,088 --> 00:12:58,734 When the cops show, stall them for a while. Nothing too fancy. 124 00:12:59,057 --> 00:13:02,441 Just keep them busy until Bats gets here. Got it? 125 00:13:02,762 --> 00:13:04,518 Sure, boss. 126 00:13:07,532 --> 00:13:10,381 - Any questions, Murph? - No, sir. 127 00:13:10,668 --> 00:13:12,392 Good man. 128 00:13:14,270 --> 00:13:17,687 And if Batman hasn't really gone to his final reward... 129 00:13:18,009 --> 00:13:20,825 we'll see that he gets there. 130 00:13:29,250 --> 00:13:33,245 From pinching pennies to rubbing elbows with the Joker. Not bad, Sidney. 131 00:13:33,588 --> 00:13:37,070 Please, connections like him I can do without. 132 00:13:37,691 --> 00:13:41,042 Naturally, it didn't take the cops long to seal off the building. 133 00:13:41,628 --> 00:13:44,727 Not that it mattered to Mr. Happy. 134 00:13:45,731 --> 00:13:49,791 Where is he? He's never been this late before. 135 00:13:50,402 --> 00:13:52,542 There's a certain rhythm to these things. 136 00:13:52,804 --> 00:13:54,747 I cause trouble, he shows up. 137 00:13:55,005 --> 00:13:58,619 We have some laughs, and the game starts all over again. 138 00:13:59,109 --> 00:14:02,045 Only, now, thanks to you... 139 00:14:02,345 --> 00:14:06,820 I have this terrible feeling he's really not coming. 140 00:14:08,884 --> 00:14:11,568 Look at all the pretties. 141 00:14:11,853 --> 00:14:13,480 Put them back, Harley. 142 00:14:14,156 --> 00:14:18,467 Mr. J., you're such a kidder. You never could... 143 00:14:18,825 --> 00:14:20,386 I said, put them back! 144 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:29,648 Sure, boss, I can do that. This is me putting them back. No problemo. 145 00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:34,611 Without Batman, crime has no punch line. 146 00:14:37,008 --> 00:14:39,278 A laughing gas bomb kept the cops busy... 147 00:14:39,544 --> 00:14:41,967 while we slipped out the back. 148 00:14:42,746 --> 00:14:46,904 Later, the Joker held a little memorial at the Ace Chemical plant. 149 00:14:51,587 --> 00:14:53,922 You know what's great about you, pudding? 150 00:14:54,189 --> 00:14:57,573 You really put the "fun" in funeral. 151 00:15:04,665 --> 00:15:09,817 Dear friends, today is the day the clown cried. 152 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:18,237 And he cries not for the passing of one man... 153 00:15:18,544 --> 00:15:21,000 but for the death of a dream. 154 00:15:21,512 --> 00:15:27,362 The dream that he would someday taste the ultimate victory over his hated enemy. 155 00:15:28,318 --> 00:15:33,240 For it was the Batman who made me the happy soul I am today. 156 00:15:33,923 --> 00:15:38,714 How I agonized over the perfect way to thank him for that. 157 00:15:39,094 --> 00:15:42,740 Perhaps with a cyanide pie in the face. 158 00:15:50,303 --> 00:15:55,258 Or an exploding Whoopee Cushion, playfully planted in the Batmobile. 159 00:16:00,312 --> 00:16:04,503 But those dreams were dashed by the weaselly little gunsel... 160 00:16:04,848 --> 00:16:06,507 sitting there in our midst. 161 00:16:07,819 --> 00:16:12,228 The cowardly, insignificant ganef who probably got lucky... 162 00:16:12,589 --> 00:16:16,901 when Batman slipped on the slime trail this loser left behind him. 163 00:16:17,259 --> 00:16:20,905 This mound of diseased hyena filth... 164 00:16:21,229 --> 00:16:25,639 who's not fit to lick the dirt from my spats! 165 00:16:26,967 --> 00:16:30,678 But I digress. The time for sorrow has passed. 166 00:16:31,105 --> 00:16:35,897 It's time to look ahead to a future filled with smiles. 167 00:16:36,309 --> 00:16:38,644 And I'll be smiling again... 168 00:16:38,911 --> 00:16:42,328 just as soon as we take that man there... 169 00:16:42,648 --> 00:16:45,496 and slap him in that box there... 170 00:16:45,783 --> 00:16:49,559 and roll it into that vat of acid there. 171 00:16:51,154 --> 00:16:53,970 No, no. I never meant to do it. 172 00:16:57,260 --> 00:16:58,602 Help. 173 00:17:00,330 --> 00:17:02,502 This isn't funny anymore. 174 00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:22,419 Would it help if I said I'm sorry? 175 00:17:22,683 --> 00:17:26,514 I'm really, really, really, really, really sorry. 176 00:17:53,074 --> 00:17:56,075 Well, that was fun. Who's for Chinese? 177 00:18:07,853 --> 00:18:09,796 I thought I was a goner for sure. 178 00:18:13,392 --> 00:18:16,742 Then, just as the acid started to eat its way in... 179 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:26,463 I was saved. The box must have been sucked down a drainpipe... 180 00:18:26,769 --> 00:18:28,657 and smacked open on the bank. 181 00:18:28,904 --> 00:18:31,327 I knew I had to get out of town. 182 00:18:32,574 --> 00:18:35,226 So I called Eddie G. And begged him to set me up... 183 00:18:35,510 --> 00:18:37,878 with the big man behind the drug ring. 184 00:18:38,146 --> 00:18:39,521 He sent me to you. 185 00:18:39,748 --> 00:18:43,611 Please, Mr. Thorne. You're rich and powerful. 186 00:18:43,950 --> 00:18:46,886 I'll do anything you say if you can get me out of Gotham. 187 00:18:47,186 --> 00:18:52,523 So the famous Sid the Squid is nothing but a pathetic victim of circumstance. 188 00:18:52,925 --> 00:18:55,479 Just how stupid do you think I am? 189 00:18:56,028 --> 00:18:58,746 - Excuse me? - You think I didn't hear the rumors... 190 00:18:59,031 --> 00:19:02,709 of the third-rate stumblebum who rubbed out the Batman? 191 00:19:03,034 --> 00:19:07,575 And now you say you accidentally made a fool of the Joker. 192 00:19:08,071 --> 00:19:11,301 No one's that lucky or stupid. 193 00:19:11,608 --> 00:19:14,773 - Yes, I am. Honest. - Admit it. 194 00:19:15,077 --> 00:19:17,828 You're trying to muscle in on my drug racket. 195 00:19:18,112 --> 00:19:21,147 You've been playing dumb so you can get a shot at me. 196 00:19:21,449 --> 00:19:22,878 No, really. 197 00:19:23,217 --> 00:19:25,673 Sure, I'll get you out of Gotham, Sidney. 198 00:19:26,020 --> 00:19:28,257 In a pine box. 199 00:19:49,006 --> 00:19:50,567 You. 200 00:20:11,759 --> 00:20:13,996 That's for pulling a gun. 201 00:20:18,098 --> 00:20:20,717 And that's for the drugs. 202 00:20:38,882 --> 00:20:41,021 And that one's for any I missed. 203 00:20:41,283 --> 00:20:43,673 Oh, am I glad to see you. 204 00:20:43,953 --> 00:20:46,288 Wait a minute, how come you're alive? 205 00:20:46,554 --> 00:20:49,141 I swung away before the gas tank exploded. 206 00:20:49,424 --> 00:20:53,997 I thought since you believed I was dead, I'd tail you and see who was calling the shots. 207 00:20:54,361 --> 00:20:57,559 So you were the one who saved me from the Joker? 208 00:20:57,865 --> 00:20:59,076 That's right. 209 00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:02,618 Well, glad to be of service. See you. 210 00:21:03,703 --> 00:21:06,737 You're still an accomplice to Thorne's gang. 211 00:21:08,507 --> 00:21:11,191 Guess I can't win for losing, huh? 212 00:21:11,475 --> 00:21:15,535 I don't know. In the right environment, a man of your dangerous reputation... 213 00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:18,784 could still get a lot of respect. 214 00:21:24,954 --> 00:21:27,475 - Here he comes. - It's the Squid. 215 00:21:27,756 --> 00:21:30,605 Toughest man in Gotham, nearly offed the Bat. 216 00:21:30,893 --> 00:21:34,123 Set Thorne up, he made a fool out of the Joker too. 217 00:21:34,829 --> 00:21:38,573 - Don't mess with him, man. - A big shot at last.