1
00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:08,142
"MELISSA & JOEY" IS RECORDED

2
00:00:08,176 --> 00:00:09,743
IN FRONT OF A LIVE
STUDIO AUDIENCE.

3
00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:11,712
HERE YOU GO.

4
00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:14,582
JOE, NICE TRY WITH
THE VEGAS BUFFET,

5
00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:16,250
BUT THESE KIDS DON'T
REALLY EAT WAFFLES.

6
00:00:16,284 --> 00:00:19,420
- NO, THESE ARE AMAZING.
- YOU NEVER LIKED WAFFLES BEFORE.

7
00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:21,255
THESE AREN'T YOURS.

8
00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:24,592
YEAH, THERE'S NO ICE CRYSTALS

9
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:26,160
AND YOU DON'T HAVE
TO PRY THEM APART.

10
00:00:26,194 --> 00:00:29,130
- AND THERE'S NO WAX PAPER...
- ALL RIGHT, STOP.

11
00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:32,032
I SEE. YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO SHOW
ME UP WITH THE KIDS, BUT COME ON.

12
00:00:32,066 --> 00:00:34,502
YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THERE'S
NOTHING SPECIAL ABOUT THESE.

13
00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:37,438
OH, MY MOTHER OF PEARL!

14
00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:40,641
OH, THESE ARE... THESE
ARE UNBELIEVABLE.

15
00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:42,310
I'VE HAD BETTER.

16
00:00:42,343 --> 00:00:44,212
ALL RIGHT, FINE.

17
00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:46,580
YOU CAN JUST HAVE A COLD
ENGLISH MUFFIN THEN.

18
00:00:46,614 --> 00:00:49,550
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M ACTUALLY
JUST GONNA TAKE A FEW OF THESE

19
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,285
TO THE OFFICE BECAUSE,

20
00:00:51,319 --> 00:00:53,087
YEAH, I THINK THERE'S SOME PEOPLE
THERE THAT MIGHT LIKE THEM.

21
00:00:53,121 --> 00:00:54,722
I DON'T LIKE THEM, BUT...

22
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:57,091
ALL RIGHT, WELL, HERE. DON'T FORGET
THE BOURBON PECAN MAPLE SYRUP THEN.

23
00:00:57,125 --> 00:00:58,759
HERE WE GO.

24
00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:01,095
ENJOY.

25
00:01:01,129 --> 00:01:03,063
OH MY!

26
00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:06,134
PFFT.

27
00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:10,471
♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK ♪

28
00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:12,740
♪ WITH ME ♪

29
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AWFUL DEAL.

30
00:01:25,453 --> 00:01:26,587
SERIOUSLY, AWFUL DEAL.

31
00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:29,590
BUT THIS SAYS IF I BUY ONE,
I GET THE SECOND ONE FREE.

32
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:33,561
SURE, IT'S NOT A BAD DEAL IF YOU
WANNA FILL UP YOUR POOL WITH SALSA.

33
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:35,763
SEE, THEY JUST DOUBLE THE
PRICE OF THE FIRST JAR

34
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THEN THEY TOSS IN THE
SECOND ONE "FOR FREE."

35
00:01:37,831 --> 00:01:40,434
IN THE REAL WORLD ALL YOU
NEED IS THIS LITTLE JAR

36
00:01:40,468 --> 00:01:42,436
THEY PUT WAY UP HERE WHICH IS...

37
00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:44,605
LOOK AT THAT, MUCH CHEAPER.

38
00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:47,608
WOW, YOU'RE LIKE A
SHOPPING SUPERHERO.

39
00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:51,145
I AM. I AM SUPERMARKET MAN.

40
00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:54,748
- I'M ASHLEY.
- JOE LONGO.

41
00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:56,850
IT'S MY SECRET IDENTITY.

42
00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:59,787
SO WHEN YOU'RE NOT SAVING
HELPLESS SHOPPERS,

43
00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:01,589
DO YOU EVER HAVE COFFEE?

44
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:02,823
LATELY I'VE BEEN
TRYING TO CUT BACK

45
00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:05,593
'CAUSE COFFEE ACTUALLY
DEHYDRATES ME SO... OH.

46
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:09,730
YOU MEAN "HAVE COFFEE."

47
00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:12,733
WOW.

48
00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:14,668
TO BE HONEST WITH YOU, I
JUST SEPARATED FROM MY WIFE

49
00:02:14,702 --> 00:02:17,805
AND I'M NOT SURE IF I'M AT
THE "HAVE COFFEE" STAGE YET.

50
00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:19,807
I HAVE A SLIGHT
BITTER AFTERTASTE

51
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,710
FROM THE LAST CUP.

52
00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:24,778
- I GET IT.
- YEAH.

53
00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:28,316
LISTEN, I'M A WEB DESIGNER SO
MY DAYS ARE PRETTY FLEXIBLE,

54
00:02:28,349 --> 00:02:31,519
AND JUST LET ME KNOW
WHEN YOU'RE READY.

55
00:02:36,457 --> 00:02:38,659
I'M READY!

56
00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:41,395
I'M ACTUALLY FREE RIGHT NOW UNTIL
I HAVE TO GO PICK UP THE KIDS.

57
00:02:41,429 --> 00:02:43,631
A DEVOTED SINGLE FATHER.
I LIKE THAT.

58
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:45,233
NO, I'M NOT A FATHER.

59
00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:47,668
ACTUALLY, I'M A NANNY.

60
00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:50,504
( laughs ) AND A SENSE OF HUMOR.

61
00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:51,805
I LIKE THAT TOO.

62
00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:54,775
( laughs ) SERIOUSLY,
I'M A NANNY.

63
00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:57,211
- ( beeping )
- HANG ON.

64
00:02:57,245 --> 00:02:59,413
OH, GREAT.

65
00:02:59,447 --> 00:03:02,683
WORK EMERGENCY. ONE OF MY WEB
SITES JUST CAUGHT ON FIRE.

66
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:06,754
YEAH, TODAY'S NO
GOOD FOR ME, EITHER.

67
00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:13,527
MY HAIR APPOINTMENT'S
TODAY WITH YOUR STYLIST.

68
00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:15,696
DO I TELL HIM TO MAKE ME LOOK
LIKE TAYLOR SWIFT FROM MARCH

69
00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:17,698
OR TAYLOR SWIFT FROM APRIL?

70
00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:20,234
THEY CAN DO THAT TO YOUR FACE?

71
00:03:20,268 --> 00:03:21,869
YOU SEE THIS, RYDER?

72
00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:23,737
IT'S A HOT GIRL.

73
00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:26,407
AND THIS IS AS CLOSE AS
YOU'LL EVER GET TO ONE.

74
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:28,742
I'M GOOD WITH THAT.

75
00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:34,515
MORNING, MORNING, MORNING.

76
00:03:35,516 --> 00:03:36,917
THIS IS NOT A TASTY WAFFLE.

77
00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:39,219
YEAH, I'M NOT REALLY IN
A TASTY WAFFLE MOOD.

78
00:03:39,253 --> 00:03:41,689
I AM. WHAT THE HELL
HAPPENED TO BREAKFAST?

79
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:44,725
I MEAN, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

80
00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:46,894
ALL RIGHT, I WAS AT THE MARKET,
RAN INTO THIS REALLY CUTE GIRL.

81
00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:48,729
WE STARTED TALKING.
TOTALLY HIT IT OFF

82
00:03:48,762 --> 00:03:49,897
UNTIL I TOLD HER
THAT I WAS A NANNY.

83
00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:51,665
SHE RAN OUT OF THERE SO QUICK

84
00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:53,667
SHE LEFT A HOT GIRL-SHAPED
HOLE IN THE SIDE OF THE STORE.

85
00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:56,637
JOE, THAT REALLY SUCKS.

86
00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:59,740
BUT THE IMPORTANT THING IS YOU
REMEMBERED TO GET THE PUDDING, RIGHT?

87
00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:02,810
LOOK, THAT WAS JUST ONE
SHALLOW WOMAN, OKAY?

88
00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:05,212
THERE ARE BOUND TO BE LOTS OF
WOMEN WHO'LL BE ATTRACTED TO YOU.

89
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:07,748
NOT ME, GOD NO, BUT SOMEBODY.

90
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:10,951
THANK YOU, BURKE.
I'M ALL BETTER NOW.

91
00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:13,687
THERE ARE BILLIONS OF
WOMEN OUT THERE, OKAY?

92
00:04:13,721 --> 00:04:15,689
THE MATH IS TOTALLY
ON YOUR SIDE.

93
00:04:15,723 --> 00:04:17,691
OH, GREAT. SO MATH
IS MY WINGMAN.

94
00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:20,461
- ALL I'M SAYING IS...
- NO, LOOK, I'M FINE.

95
00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:22,896
I'M GONNA DO SOMETHING LATER THIS AFTERNOON
THAT'S GONNA CHEER ME UP ANYWAYS.

96
00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:25,366
- OH, REALLY, WHAT?
- MY DIVORCE HEARING.

97
00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:28,436
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'M GONNA GO PICK
OUT A TIE TO GO WITH LOSING MY SHIRT.

98
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:32,640
OW.

99
00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:34,742
DO YOU REALLY THINK A WOMAN IS GONNA
WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH A NANNY?

100
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:37,311
NO, BUT I WANT MY
BELGIAN WAFFLES BACK.

101
00:04:37,345 --> 00:04:39,613
AND I'M NOT GONNA GET SOME
UNTIL HE GETS SOME...

102
00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:41,849
THING. SOMETHING.

103
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:43,884
THAT WAS SO CLOSE
TO BEING AWKWARD.

104
00:04:47,488 --> 00:04:49,557
THE ZONING HEARING WAS
PUSHED TO TOMORROW.

105
00:04:49,590 --> 00:04:51,859
AND LAST AND MOST IMPORTANTLY
ON THE AGENDA THIS MORNING...

106
00:04:51,892 --> 00:04:53,494
MUFFINS!

107
00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:55,796
OOH! I DON'T THINK I CAN.

108
00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:57,631
I HAD WAFFLES YESTERDAY.

109
00:04:57,665 --> 00:04:59,800
YOU HAD CARBS WITHOUT ME?

110
00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:01,669
JOE MADE SYRUP

111
00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:03,737
WITH BOURBON, PECANS
AND CINNAMON.

112
00:05:03,771 --> 00:05:06,340
IT WAS LIKE CHRISTMAS
IN MY MOUTH.

113
00:05:06,374 --> 00:05:08,709
( knock on door )

114
00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:10,744
MEL BURKE?

115
00:05:10,778 --> 00:05:12,746
LIZ CASTALDO?

116
00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:14,682
I THOUGHT I WOULD FIND
YOU IN THIS BUILDING.

117
00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:17,785
OH, MY GOSH! RHONDA,
THIS IS LIZ.

118
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,753
SHE WAS MY SORORITY
LITTLE SISTER.

119
00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:21,755
YOU WERE IN A SORORITY?

120
00:05:21,789 --> 00:05:24,758
♪ RAH RAH, PHI GAMMA GAMMA GAMMA ♪

121
00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:26,760
♪ I'M SO GLAD THAT IS ♪

122
00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:29,697
- ♪ WHAT I AM-A ♪
- ♪LOYALTY, HONESTY ♪

123
00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:32,666
- ♪ DON'T FORGET THE GLAMMA ♪
- ♪ WE PARTY SO HARD ♪

124
00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:34,468
♪ SOMETIMES WE END
UP IN THE SLAMMA ♪

125
00:05:34,502 --> 00:05:37,505
- ♪ NEVER OPEN A BOOK ♪
- ♪ BUT WE STILL PASS OUR EXAM-A ♪

126
00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:40,574
♪ TRI GAMMA YO YO, TRI GAMMA YO YO ♪

127
00:05:40,608 --> 00:05:42,576
♪ SUCK IT! ♪

128
00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:47,815
IT WAS MAINLY A COMMUNITY
SERVICE ORGANIZATION.

129
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,585
OH, HOLY COW.

130
00:05:51,619 --> 00:05:54,555
IT'S NOTHING. JUST SOME
TRANSIT STRIKE, RIOT THINGY.

131
00:05:54,588 --> 00:05:55,856
I'LL GET THE LOWDOWN.

132
00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:58,526
YOU SISTERS KEEP
RAPPING, A'IGHT?

133
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:01,929
SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

134
00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:04,798
I HAVE A JOB INTERVIEW
WITH THE MAYOR'S OFFICE.

135
00:06:04,832 --> 00:06:07,468
BACK IN COLLEGE DID YOU
EVER THINK EITHER OF US

136
00:06:07,501 --> 00:06:09,603
WOULD BE WALKING THE
HALLS OF POWER?

137
00:06:09,637 --> 00:06:12,540
MAYBE, IN HANDCUFFS.

138
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:14,374
HEY, I HOPE I'M NOT
INTERRUPTING ANYTHING.

139
00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:15,676
I WAS A LITTLE EARLY FOR
MY HEARING NEXT DOOR,

140
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,545
SO I THOUGHT I'D
STOP BY AND SAY HI.

141
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:20,548
YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT JUST HERE TO USE
OUR INCREDIBLY CLEAN BATHROOMS?

142
00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:22,783
WHAT? NO.

143
00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:24,785
THE KEY'S NOT ON RHONDA'S DESK.
WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?

144
00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:26,920
LIZ, THIS IS JOE LONGO.

145
00:06:26,954 --> 00:06:28,756
JOE, THIS IS MY OLD
FRIEND LIZ CASTALDO.

146
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:31,725
- PLEASURE.
- SAME HERE.

147
00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:33,861
LIZ IS HERE TO INTERVIEW
WITH THE MAYOR.

148
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:36,029
YEAH, I AM IN THAT SEXY WORLD

149
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:38,398
OF MUNICIPAL ACCOUNTING.

150
00:06:38,432 --> 00:06:41,769
- WHAT DO YOU DO?
- ME? ACTUALLY, I USED TO BE A COMMODITIES TRADER.

151
00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:44,371
BUT, WELL ACTUALLY, NOW
TO BE HONEST WITH YOU,

152
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,440
- I'M WORKING...
- FREELANCE!

153
00:06:46,474 --> 00:06:48,676
A FREELANCE FINANCIAL CONSULTANT.
THAT'S IT.

154
00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:50,644
YEAH, AND HE DRESSES
THIS WELL ALL THE TIME.

155
00:06:50,678 --> 00:06:54,014
- CAN YOU JUST HANG ON ONE SECOND PLEASE?
- NO, YOU DON'T HAVE A SECOND.

156
00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:57,485
- YOU'VE GOTTA GET BACK TO WORK. GO GO GO!
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

157
00:06:57,518 --> 00:06:59,687
GO MAKE MONEY, YOU
AND YOUR FANCY SUIT.

158
00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:04,525
IT WAS VERY NICE TO MEET YOU.
BYE.

159
00:07:04,558 --> 00:07:07,027
HE SEEMS REALLY NICE.
YOU AND HE AREN'T...

160
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:08,662
OH, GOD, NO! NO. EW!

161
00:07:08,696 --> 00:07:12,065
I MEAN, NO. NO.

162
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:14,868
SO ANY CHANCE YOU CAN MAYBE
HOOK A LITTLE SISTER UP?

163
00:07:14,902 --> 00:07:17,004
ABSOLUTELY.

164
00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:19,039
FASTER THAN YOU CAN
SAY BELGIAN WAFFLES.

165
00:07:30,017 --> 00:07:32,085
- HEY, WHATCHA COOKING?
- HEY.

166
00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:34,454
A LITTLE FRENCH
COUNTRY BOUILLABAISSE

167
00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:37,758
WITH A CARAMELIZED ONION
TARTLET TO START.

168
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:40,628
OOH, I'VE NEVER HAD TARTLET.
I'VE BEEN CALLED ONE.

169
00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:44,164
- THIS IS MAC AND CHEESE.
- YEAH, ISN'T THAT FUNNY?

170
00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:45,866
I JUST LIED ABOUT WHAT IT WAS.

171
00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:48,135
RYDER, LENNOX, DINNER'S READY!

172
00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:50,103
DON'T GET YOUR HOPES UP.

173
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:52,172
DOES THIS HAVE ANYTHING
TO DO WITH ME TELLING LIZ

174
00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:54,007
YOU'RE A FINANCIAL CONSULTANT
INSTEAD OF A NANNY?

175
00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:55,776
- ABSOLUTELY NOT.
- LIAR.

176
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,878
TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE.

177
00:07:57,911 --> 00:07:59,680
LOOK, I JUST WANTED LIZ
TO GO OUT WITH YOU.

178
00:07:59,713 --> 00:08:02,015
SO BASICALLY WHAT YOU'RE SAYING
IS IF I TELL PEOPLE I'M A NANNY,

179
00:08:02,049 --> 00:08:04,552
I'M NEVER EVER GONNA HAVE SEX...

180
00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:07,855
SAFE SEX...

181
00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:09,757
WITH A WOMAN EVER AGAIN.

182
00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:11,825
MRS. GELLER AT THE END OF
THE BLOCK IS AVAILABLE.

183
00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:13,661
DUDE, SHE'S LIKE 100.

184
00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:16,730
PUT SOME NEW TENNIS BALLS ON HER
WALKER, YOU COULD MAKE IT HAPPEN.

185
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:23,804
BY "IT," DO YOU MEAN
A HEART ATTACK?

186
00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:30,678
WHAT?

187
00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:34,181
NOTHING. NOTHING.

188
00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:36,817
NONE OF US NOTICED
THAT SOCK MONKEY

189
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:40,253
THAT YOU KILLED AND
PUT ON YOUR HEAD.

190
00:08:40,287 --> 00:08:43,791
I'M WEARING THIS BECAUSE OF WHAT
YOUR HAIR BUTCHER DID TO ME.

191
00:08:43,824 --> 00:08:46,760
IT WAS SO AWFUL I HAD
TO RE-CUT IT MYSELF.

192
00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:49,763
YOU CUT YOUR OWN HAIR?

193
00:08:49,797 --> 00:08:51,832
I LOVE YOUR HAT.

194
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:54,802
( beeping )

195
00:08:54,835 --> 00:08:57,237
HEY, MEL, YOUR FRIEND
LIZ JUST TEXTED ME.

196
00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:59,106
SHE WANTS ME TO MEET HER
FOR COFFEE TOMORROW.

197
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:02,743
SO THIS IS WHERE YOU THANK ME FOR
HOOKING YOU UP WITH A SMOKIN' HOT GIRL

198
00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:05,512
BY HOOKING ME UP WITH A
SMOKIN' HOT ONION TARTLET.

199
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:08,081
WHY BOTHER? WHEN SHE FINDS OUT WHAT I
DO IT'S GONNA BE A TOTALLY MOOT POINT.

200
00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:11,284
OKAY, LOOK, SHE WANTS TO
GO OUT WITH YOU, OKAY?

201
00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:13,954
SHE MET YOU. SHE LIKES
YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE.

202
00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:15,989
JUST DON'T TELL HER WHAT
YOU DO FOR A LIVING.

203
00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:18,726
SHE WAS KIND OF CUTE. WE DID SORT
OF HAVE A LITTLE CONNECTION.

204
00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:20,794
- I DON'T KNOW.
- OKAY, DO WHAT YOU WANT.

205
00:09:20,828 --> 00:09:22,863
THERE'S ALWAYS MRS.
GELLER AS A BACKUP.

206
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:25,633
SOLD.

207
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:33,306
- HEY, LET ME HELP YOU.
- ALL RIGHT.

208
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:35,676
SO HOW DID COFFEE WITH LIZ GO?

209
00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:36,677
IT WENT OKAY.

210
00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:40,013
LAMB, CHUTNEY, MASALA SAUCE.

211
00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:42,750
SOMETHING TELLS ME
THAT COFFEE ESCALATED

212
00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:44,718
INTO SOME BAM-CHICKA-WOW-WOW.

213
00:09:44,752 --> 00:09:46,286
IT ACTUALLY WENT GOOD.

214
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:48,689
WE HAVEN'T TECHNICALLY GOT
INTO THE WOW-WOW PART YET,

215
00:09:48,722 --> 00:09:50,057
BUT WE GOT REALLY CLOSE.

216
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:52,793
I KNEW LYING WAS THE
WAY TO GO FOR YOU.

217
00:09:52,826 --> 00:09:54,695
- YEAH, I WAS THINKING ABOUT THAT...
- NO NO NO.

218
00:09:54,728 --> 00:09:58,331
YOU LET ME DO THE THINKING. YOU SIT
ACROSS FROM LIZ AND LOOK PRETTY.

219
00:09:58,365 --> 00:10:00,200
LOOK, IT WENT REALLY WELL
WITH LIZ, ALL RIGHT?

220
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:02,035
IT MIGHT ACTUALLY GO SOMEWHERE,
BUT NOT IF I KEEP LYING TO HER.

221
00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:04,972
LYING IS SUCH AN UGLY WORD.

222
00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:07,074
BUT IT'S THE RIGHT WORD,
SO LET'S GO WITH THAT.

223
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:10,944
IN THE BEGINNING OF A RELATIONSHIP
EVERYONE SCULPTS THE TRUTH A BIT.

224
00:10:10,978 --> 00:10:12,746
TAKE THE PUSH-UP BRA.

225
00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:15,849
IN THAT CASE, YOU WOULD LIFT
AND SEPARATE THE TRUTH.

226
00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:17,217
YOU HAVE ME IN A PUSH-UP BRA?

227
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:19,619
YEAH, AND IT LOOKS GOOD ON YOU.

228
00:10:19,653 --> 00:10:21,989
YEAH? WELL, IT'S STARTING
TO FEEL A LITTLE PINCHY.

229
00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:24,591
ALL RIGHT, LOOK. I AM SEEING HER FRIDAY
NIGHT AND THE TRUTH IS COMING OUT.

230
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:27,728
FINE. MAYBE BY THEN SHE'LL
HAVE FALLEN FOR YOU

231
00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:30,731
AND YOU'LL BE READY TO TAKE OFF THE
PUSH-UP BRA AND LET THE GIRLS FLY.

232
00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:36,103
YOUR AUNT IS SPEAKING
FIGURATIVELY.

233
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:39,673
I ALWAYS PRAYED FOR A
NANNY IN A PUSH-UP BRA.

234
00:10:39,707 --> 00:10:43,110
FUNNY. REAL FUNNY, GOD.

235
00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:46,947
- ( knock on door )
- Liz: HEY.

236
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:49,717
JUST WANTED TO STOP BY AND THANK
YOU FOR HOOKING ME UP WITH JOE.

237
00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:51,719
I'M GOING WITH HIM
TO DINNER TONIGHT.

238
00:10:51,752 --> 00:10:54,855
GOD, IT IS SO NICE TO FINALLY
FIND A NORMAL, STABLE GUY

239
00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:56,824
WITH A GOOD JOB.

240
00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:04,264
THAT'S WHY WE CALL HIM
"STABLE GOOD JOB JOE."

241
00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:07,067
OH, AND SPEAKING OF JOBS...
LANDED IT!

242
00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:09,069
I'M GONNA BE WORKING FOR
THE MAYOR'S OFFICE.

243
00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:12,272
AWESOME. I'M SO PROUD OF MY LITTLE GAMMA
SISTER. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA BE DOING?

244
00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:14,074
I'M LOOKING INTO
WASTE AND FRAUD.

245
00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:16,744
I'M GONNA DOING THIS IN-DEPTH AUDIT
OF ALL THE CITY COUNCIL MEMBERS.

246
00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:20,080
I DON'T ENVY THOSE POOR BAS...
SAY WHAT?

247
00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:23,717
CHILLAX. I KNOW MY BIG SISTER
WOULD NEVER LIE TO ME.

248
00:11:23,751 --> 00:11:25,919
PSHAW. HUH-UH.

249
00:11:25,953 --> 00:11:28,188
COME ON, GIRL. YOUR AUDIT
IS GONNA BE A BREEZE.

250
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:29,757
IT'S GONNA TAKE,
LIKE, TWO MINUTES.

251
00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:31,759
I CAN ALWAYS TRUST A GAMMA.

252
00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:34,161
YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I AM-A.

253
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:37,330
HOWEVER, YOUR FELLOW
CITY COUNCIL MEMBERS...

254
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:41,001
I'M GONNA PUT THEIR NUTS
IN A VISE AND SQUEEZE.

255
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:42,702
IT'S GONNA BE REALLY FUN.

256
00:11:42,736 --> 00:11:45,873
( laughs )

257
00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:47,707
YOU'RE SCREWED, AREN'T YOU?

258
00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:49,109
YEAH, WORSE THAN PLEDGE WEEK.

259
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,185
OH, THANK GOODNESS
YOU'RE STILL HERE.

260
00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:01,188
- WHAT'S UP?
- NOTHING. I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU TO HAVE FUN

261
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,023
- ON YOUR DATE TONIGHT.
- I WILL.

262
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:04,724
ACTUALLY GOT A GREAT
EVENING PLANNED.

263
00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:05,993
I USED YOUR NAME TO GET US A
RESERVATION AT CHEZ PAPILLON.

264
00:12:06,026 --> 00:12:07,427
YEAH, SOUNDS MAGICAL.

265
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:10,730
LISTEN, IT MAY NOT
BE A HORRIBLE IDEA

266
00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:14,134
- TO KEEP THE PUSH-UP BRA ON JUST A LITTLE BIT LONGER.
- WHY?

267
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:17,170
LIZ MAY NOT BE READY TO HEAR
ABOUT YOU BEING A NANNY.

268
00:12:17,204 --> 00:12:19,372
WELL, IF SHE'S NOT READY, I'M
READY TO SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES.

269
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:22,042
YEAH, BUT I'M NOT...

270
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:24,878
READY TO WATCH YOUR
RELATIONSHIP DIE.

271
00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:26,947
WOW.

272
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:29,850
IF THAT'S HOW WELL YOU LIE,
HOW DID YOU GET ELECTED?

273
00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:31,952
OKAY, THE TRUTH IS...

274
00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:34,187
AND IT'S KIND OF
FUNNY ACTUALLY...

275
00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:37,858
LIZ WAS HIRED TO AUDIT ALL
THE CITY COUNCIL MEMBERS.

276
00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:41,394
OH, I SEE. SO IF SHE FINDS OUT
YOU LIED TO HER ABOUT ME...

277
00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:44,497
SHE'LL PUT MY NUTS IN A VISE.

278
00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:47,067
ARE YOU SURE YOU WEREN'T
IN A FRATERNITY?

279
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:50,470
WELL, I WAS IN
PLENTY OF THOSE TOO.

280
00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:53,173
NO, PLEASE PLEASE, OKAY?
THREE MORE DAYS, OKAY?

281
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:55,909
THAT'S WHEN THE AUDIT'S OVER.
YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE.

282
00:12:55,943 --> 00:12:58,045
I NEED TO KEEP MY HONEST
REPUTATION INTACT.

283
00:12:58,078 --> 00:13:00,914
- SO THEREFORE I HAVE TO LIE.
- YES, PLEASE, LIE FOR ME.

284
00:13:00,948 --> 00:13:02,916
LIE YOUR HEART OUT, OKAY?

285
00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:05,252
COOK UP A DECEPTION CASSEROLE
FULL OF LIES AND FALSEHOODS

286
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:07,454
TOPPED WITH A THICK
GLAZE OF B.S.

287
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:12,092
AGAIN, YOUR AUNT WAS
SPEAKING FIGURATIVELY.

288
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:13,894
THAT'S COOL.

289
00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:15,795
I'M GONNA GO OUT AND FIND
MYSELF A ROLE MODEL.

290
00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:27,307
HEY, SO HOW'D IT GO?

291
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:29,276
AWFUL.

292
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:31,278
WE HAD A REALLY ROMANTIC
DINNER, GOT BACK TO THE CAR,

293
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,947
STARTED TO MAKE OUT, THEN SHE WANTED
ME TO TAKE ME BACK TO HER PLACE.

294
00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:36,783
SO A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
WANTED TO SLEEP WITH YOU?

295
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,919
BOO FREAKIN' HOO.

296
00:13:38,952 --> 00:13:41,855
I COULDN'T DO IT UNDER
FALSE PRETENSES.

297
00:13:41,889 --> 00:13:44,491
OH, WOW. THAT'S LIKE, HONORABLE.

298
00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:48,328
SERIOUSLY, I REALLY APPRECIATE
THE SACRIFICE YOU MADE.

299
00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:51,364
I DON'T THINK YOU DO.

300
00:13:57,905 --> 00:14:00,407
I WISH THERE WAS SOMETHING
I COULD DO TO HELP,

301
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:03,843
BUT THAT'S REALLY NOT MY AREA.

302
00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:07,881
YOU KNOW WHAT? I CAN'T TAKE THIS.
I AM GOING WITH THE TRUTH.

303
00:14:07,915 --> 00:14:09,549
- I'M CALLING LIZ RIGHT NOW.
- NO NO NO NO NO.

304
00:14:09,582 --> 00:14:11,418
- YES, I AM.
- WAIT WAIT WAIT.

305
00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:13,486
JUST THREE MORE DAYS IS ALL
I'M ASKING YOU TO HOLD OUT.

306
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,822
TWO AND A HALF REALLY IF YOU
DON'T COUNT HALF A DAY.

307
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,357
WHY WOULD I NOT
COUNT HALF A DAY?

308
00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:19,592
BECAUSE IT MAKES
IT SOUND SHORTER.

309
00:14:19,626 --> 00:14:23,430
I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS, MEL.
I CAN BARELY WALK LIKE THIS.

310
00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:26,900
FINE. FINE, I'LL JUST DEAL
WITH THE PUBLIC EMBARRASSMENT

311
00:14:26,934 --> 00:14:29,336
AND THE DAMAGE TO MY IMAGE.

312
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:31,838
YOU KNOW, THE IMAGE I'VE
WORKED ON SO HARD TO PROVE

313
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:34,507
I'M NOT JUST AN IRRESPONSIBLE,
FLAKY PARTY GIRL ANYMORE.

314
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:38,878
FINE, THREE MORE DAYS. NO MORE.

315
00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:42,149
OH, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU,
THANK YOU! YOU CAN TOTALLY DO THIS.

316
00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:45,418
WE JUST HAVE TO FIND A WAY
TO KEEP YOUR MIND OFF SEX.

317
00:14:45,452 --> 00:14:48,255
OOH, CALL YOUR MOM.
YEAH, TRY IT.

318
00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:52,192
- THAT'S NOT GONNA WORK.
- IT'LL WORK.

319
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:54,661
THERE IS NO MOOD-KILLER
LIKE A MOTHER.

320
00:14:57,130 --> 00:15:00,867
HEY, MOM, WHAT'S UP?
DID I WAKE YOU?

321
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,203
OH, YOU'RE STILL DEALING
WITH THE FOOT, HUH?

322
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:04,938
NO WAY. YOU'RE DRAINING
THE BOIL RIGHT NOW?

323
00:15:04,972 --> 00:15:06,974
TELL ME ABOUT IT, MOM.
PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT IT.

324
00:15:11,178 --> 00:15:12,879
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
"WHAT'S GOING ON?"

325
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:16,516
WHAT'S SO SUSPICIOUS ABOUT A SON
CALLING HIS MOTHER SIX, EIGHT,

326
00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:17,917
10 TIMES A DAY?

327
00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:21,454
I JUST WANNA HEAR ABOUT
YOUR COLONOSCOPY.

328
00:15:21,488 --> 00:15:24,057
AGAIN, JUST ONE MORE
TIME, MOM, PLEASE.

329
00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:26,259
MOM, HELLO, MOM.

330
00:15:26,293 --> 00:15:28,395
- ( beep )
- ( doorbell rings )

331
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,430
YEAH.

332
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:36,669
LIZ, YOU'RE HERE.

333
00:15:36,703 --> 00:15:39,672
YOU DIDN'T HEAR ME HONKING?
I WAS RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

334
00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:41,408
CAN I COME IN?

335
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,910
OF COURSE. YEAH, COME ON IN.

336
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,579
I'VE BEEN DYING TO SHOW
YOU MY PLACE ANYWAY,

337
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:49,449
WHERE I, IN FACT, LIVE NOW.

338
00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:52,252
WOW, IT'S BEAUTIFUL. HOW
LONG HAVE YOU BEEN HERE?

339
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,621
ABOUT 10 SECONDS
LONGER THAN YOU.

340
00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:56,656
FUNNY.

341
00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:58,925
NO, SERIOUSLY, I LOVE
THESE THROW PILLOWS

342
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:01,194
AND THOSE SCONCES.

343
00:16:01,228 --> 00:16:03,663
I'M ALL ABOUT SCONCES, LIZ.

344
00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:05,332
WOW, THOSE WINDOW TREATMENTS.

345
00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:07,400
WAIT A MINUTE.

346
00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:09,669
SOMETHING'S GOING ON HERE,
BECAUSE NO MAN WOULD PICK OUT

347
00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:13,640
THOSE WINDOW
TREATMENTS BY HIMSELF.

348
00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:16,343
YOU HIRED A DECORATOR,
DIDN'T YOU?

349
00:16:16,376 --> 00:16:20,013
GUILTY. GUILTY AS CHARGED.

350
00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:24,217
YOU ARE SO FULL OF SURPRISES.

351
00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:25,685
OH, WELL.

352
00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:28,688
I REALLY LIKE LEARNING ALL
THESE NEW THINGS ABOUT YOU.

353
00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:31,224
ME TOO.

354
00:16:31,258 --> 00:16:33,260
YOU WANNA... I DON'T... OKAY.

355
00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:41,201
( Liz gasps )

356
00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:43,203
WHO'S THAT?

357
00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:44,704
- I'M RYDER.
- HE'S RYDER.

358
00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:46,573
- WHO'S RYDER?
- I'M JOE'S NEPHEW.

359
00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:48,541
HE'S MY NEPHEW.

360
00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:51,744
JOE TOOK ME IN 'CAUSE MY DAD'S
ON THE RUN FROM THE LAW.

361
00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:55,415
YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU TOOK SOMEBODY
ELSE'S CHILD INTO YOUR HOME.

362
00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:57,984
I WAS HOPING I WOULD
NEVER HAVE TO SAY THAT.

363
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,387
- OH, WHO'S THIS?
- OH BOY.

364
00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:02,555
THIS IS LENNOX, MY SISTER.

365
00:17:02,589 --> 00:17:04,557
JOE TOOK HER IN TOO.

366
00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:07,394
IT'S NOT LIKE YOU COULD
BREAK UP THE SET, RIGHT?

367
00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:10,130
SHE WAS REAL SICK,

368
00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:12,265
WHICH EXPLAINS HER FUNNY HAT.

369
00:17:12,299 --> 00:17:14,667
RIGHT? HE TOOK YOU IN TOO.

370
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:18,571
YEAH, JOE GAVE ME A KIDNEY.

371
00:17:20,073 --> 00:17:21,708
NOW I CAN PEE AGAIN.

372
00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:27,480
JOE, THAT IS SO UNBELIEVABLE.

373
00:17:27,514 --> 00:17:30,783
I COULD NOT AGREE WITH YOU MORE.

374
00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:33,720
HEY, HOW'S EVERYBODY...
HOLY CRAP!

375
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:36,323
MEL, HEY.

376
00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:39,592
LIZ FOLLOWED ME HOME. YOU
KNOW, BACK TO MY HOUSE.

377
00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:42,562
- OH, WHERE YOU NOW LIVE.
- MM-HMM.

378
00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:45,232
WHY DOES MEL HAVE A
KEY TO YOUR HOUSE?

379
00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:47,567
LOTS OF PEOPLE TRADE
KEYS WITH THEIR FRIENDS.

380
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,669
- YEAH, SHE FEEDS MY DOG.
- I WATER HIS PLANTS.

381
00:17:49,702 --> 00:17:52,472
- I FEED HIS DOG.
- SHE WATERS THE PLANTS.

382
00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:55,608
WHY IS THERE A PICTURE OF
MEL ON YOUR COFFEE TABLE?

383
00:17:55,642 --> 00:17:58,645
BECAUSE SHE'S MY
CITY COUNCIL PERSON

384
00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:01,114
AND SHE FIGHTS FOR ME.

385
00:18:01,148 --> 00:18:03,816
AND THE REASON THAT MEL'S NAME

386
00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:07,154
- IS ALL OVER YOUR MAIL?
- OH OH, THAT'S EASY.

387
00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:09,589
I USED TO OWN THE HOUSE AND
NOW JOE BOUGHT IT FROM ME.

388
00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:12,559
IS THAT WHAT HAPPENED, JOE?

389
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:16,163
WHAT?

390
00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:18,498
YOU KNOW WHAT, GUYS?

391
00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:21,701
I'M NOT AN IDIOT. I KNOW
EXACTLY WHAT IS GOING ON HERE.

392
00:18:21,734 --> 00:18:25,138
YOU TWO ARE ONE OF THOSE
CREEPY COUPLES THAT SPLITS UP

393
00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:26,673
AND KEEPS LIVING TOGETHER.

394
00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:29,709
- YES, BUSTED.
- NO NO, WE'RE NOT.

395
00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:31,711
LOOK, I AM TELLING
HER THE TRUTH.

396
00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:35,682
OKAY, LOOK. ALL RIGHT,
THE TRUTH IS...

397
00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:37,817
OUR MORTGAGE IS UPSIDE-DOWN AND
WE CAN'T AFFORD TO MOVE OUT.

398
00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:39,719
WILL YOU STOP IT? THAT
IS NOT THE TRUTH.

399
00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:41,688
LOOK, I SHOULD HAVE
TOLD YOU FROM DAY ONE.

400
00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:44,191
I WANTED TO. I LIKE YOU A LOT.
HERE IT IS.

401
00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:46,259
I AM THE NANNY, OKAY?

402
00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:48,728
I TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS.
I COOK THE MEALS.

403
00:18:48,761 --> 00:18:51,798
I LIVE IN HER HOUSE.
THERE IT IS.

404
00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:54,801
OH MY GOD. NANNY?

405
00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:56,469
YEAH.

406
00:18:56,503 --> 00:19:00,207
YOU REALLY EXPECT ME TO
BELIEVE A LAME LIE LIKE THAT?

407
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,375
- CREEPY!
- WAIT A MINUTE.

408
00:19:02,409 --> 00:19:04,277
LIZ, I'M TELLING YOU THE TRUTH.

409
00:19:04,311 --> 00:19:07,347
LIZ, I WAS PART OF A HUGE
GLOBAL FINANCIAL SCAM.

410
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:09,616
IT'S THE ONLY JOB
I COULD GET, LIZ.

411
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,851
AH! I'D GO TO.

412
00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:19,692
NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE WILL
EVER SEE WAFFLES AGAIN.

413
00:19:19,726 --> 00:19:22,729
- FIGURATIVELY?
- PERMANENTLY!

414
00:19:25,798 --> 00:19:28,735
WELL, I THOUGHT I WAS
VERY BELIEVABLE.

415
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:34,274
- DON'T YOU LOVE AUDITS?
- I HATE LOOKING AT RECEIPTS.

416
00:19:34,307 --> 00:19:38,211
IT'S LIKE FUN I HAD IN THE
PAST THAT I HAVE TO EXPLAIN.

417
00:19:38,245 --> 00:19:40,513
HEY, IF YOU OFFERED YOUR
FRIEND LIZ A BRIBE,

418
00:19:40,547 --> 00:19:41,781
DO YOU THINK WE WRITE THAT OFF?

419
00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:43,550
SURE, WHY NOT?

420
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:46,286
AND I COULD WRITE OFF ANY
CHANCE FOR REELECTION.

421
00:19:46,319 --> 00:19:48,655
OH LOOK, IT'S A RECEIPT PARTY.

422
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,490
SHOULD I GET A KEG?

423
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:55,262
HEY, JOE, I JUST WANTED TO SAY

424
00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:57,163
I'M SORRY THAT THINGS
DIDN'T WORK OUT WITH LIZ.

425
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,732
I PROMISE, NO MORE HELP
WITH YOUR DATING LIFE.

426
00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:01,734
BUT IT WENT SO WELL.

427
00:20:01,768 --> 00:20:04,471
LOOK, I KNOW THAT BEING MY NANNY

428
00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:06,473
ISN'T EXACTLY YOUR
FANTASY CAREER,

429
00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:09,709
BUT I REALLY REALLY LOVE MY JOB.

430
00:20:09,742 --> 00:20:13,546
AND YOUR POINT IS THAT AT LEAST
ONE GETS TO LIVE THE DREAM?

431
00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:15,782
NO, MY POINT IS THAT

432
00:20:15,815 --> 00:20:17,250
IF I DIDN'T HAVE
YOU TO COUNT ON,

433
00:20:17,284 --> 00:20:19,419
I COULDN'T GO TO WORK EVERY
DAY AND DO WHAT I LOVE.

434
00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:21,621
SO THANK YOU.

435
00:20:21,654 --> 00:20:23,590
REALLY.

436
00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:26,259
YOU'RE WELCOME. YOU
GUYS MUST BE STARVING.

437
00:20:26,293 --> 00:20:28,761
- YOU WANT SOME FOOD?
- YEAH, THAT'D BE GREAT.

438
00:20:28,795 --> 00:20:30,430
- Joey: ALL RIGHT.
- SURE.

439
00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:33,800
HE'S AMAZING. YOU'RE
IN FOR SUCH A TREAT.

440
00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:37,570
ALL RIGHT, WE GOT A CHOICE...
PIZZA TAXI OR CHICKEN HOMBRE?

441
00:20:37,604 --> 00:20:39,606
BON APPETIT.

442
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,443
GOOD NIGHT.

443
00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:00,760
- HEY.
- HEY.

444
00:21:00,793 --> 00:21:02,695
OKAY, SO LOOK. I'M
JUST GONNA SAY THIS.

445
00:21:02,729 --> 00:21:04,697
I AM A NANNY AND
I'M PROUD OF IT.

446
00:21:04,731 --> 00:21:06,566
IT MAY NOT BE THE SEXIEST JOB
IN THE WORLD, BUT IT'S MY JOB,

447
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:08,234
- IT'S IMPORTANT AND I DO IT WELL.
- I THINK THAT'S GREAT.

448
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,303
AND IF A WOMAN CANNOT RESPECT...
WHAT?

449
00:21:10,337 --> 00:21:13,272
WAIT A MINUTE. THEN HOW COME YOU
MADE UP THAT CRAZY EXCUSE LAST WEEK

450
00:21:13,306 --> 00:21:14,741
ABOUT A WEB SITE ON FIRE
AND RAN OUT OF HERE?

451
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:16,743
NO, THE SERVER
REALLY WAS ON FIRE.

452
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:19,346
MY ASSISTANT OVERLOADED AN
OUTLET AND FRIED MY WIRING.

453
00:21:19,379 --> 00:21:22,749
SO YES, I'D LOVE TO
HAVE COFFEE WITH YOU.

454
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:25,785
IN FACT, I'M FREE RIGHT NOW.

455
00:21:25,818 --> 00:21:28,788
SO YOU DON'T THINK THERE'S
ANYTHING UNMANLY ABOUT WHAT I DO?

456
00:21:28,821 --> 00:21:30,623
OF COURSE NOT.

457
00:21:30,657 --> 00:21:34,293
WELL, A LITTLE BIT,
BUT I'M COOL WITH IT.

458
00:21:34,327 --> 00:21:36,996
WELL, THEN COFFEE IT IS.
AT MY PLACE.

459
00:21:37,029 --> 00:21:39,632
- I GRIND MY OWN BEANS.
- WOW, YOU WORK FAST.

460
00:21:39,666 --> 00:21:41,534
NO, ACTUALLY, I HAVE
A LOAD IN THE DRYER.

461
00:21:41,568 --> 00:21:43,436
WE CAN CHAT, BUT YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TO WATCH ME IRON.

462
00:21:43,470 --> 00:21:45,938
- OOH, SOUNDS HOT.
- YOU KNOW, I'M ALSO IRONMAN.

463
00:21:47,974 --> 00:21:49,976
( theme music playing )