﻿1
00:00:07,675 --> 00:00:10,678
"MELISSA AND JOEY" IS RECORDED IN
FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.

2
00:00:10,711 --> 00:00:13,381
JOE. JOE.

3
00:00:13,414 --> 00:00:14,682
YEAH, WHAT'S UP?

4
00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:16,384
NICE OUTFIT.

5
00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:19,287
SO DO YOU DO THE "Y," THE
"M," THE "C" OR THE "A"?

6
00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:26,760
LAUGH, BURKE. GO AHEAD.
GO AHEAD.

7
00:00:26,794 --> 00:00:29,630
BUT I'VE SPENT THE LAST TWO HOURS
DOING SOME VERY LABOR-INTENSIVE WORK.

8
00:00:29,663 --> 00:00:32,100
I JUST BUILT A CUSTOM,
FULLY TRICKED-OUT,

9
00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:34,502
FOUR-TIER SPICE RACK FOR YOU.

10
00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:37,338
WHICH I ASKED FOR WHEN?

11
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:39,207
ALL RIGHT, IT WAS FOR ME,

12
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:41,642
BUT YOU JUST PAID FOR IT.

13
00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:43,344
YOU'RE HOME EARLY.
WHAT DID YOU DO,

14
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,513
JUST VOTE "YES" ON EVERYTHING
AND CALL IT A DAY?

15
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:48,449
I TEXTED LENNOX THAT I
HAD A BIG SURPRISE.

16
00:00:48,482 --> 00:00:50,718
REMEMBER THAT GREEN DAY CONCERT
THAT SOLD OUT IN SIX MINUTES?

17
00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:52,620
WELL, GUESS WHO
SCORED TWO TICKETS.

18
00:00:52,653 --> 00:00:54,688
FLOOR SEATS? HOW DID
YOU SWING THAT?

19
00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:56,557
WHAT? I'M A CITY
COUNCILWOMAN, OKAY?

20
00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:58,559
I'M A VERY IMPORTANT PERSON.

21
00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:01,429
ALL RIGHT, I'M A
SEMI-IMPORTANT PERSON.

22
00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:04,532
FINE, I WON THEM ON THE RADIO.

23
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,434
ALL RIGHT, ONE OF MY INTERNS
WON THEM ON THE RADIO

24
00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:08,236
AND SHE GAVE THEM TO ME.

25
00:01:08,269 --> 00:01:10,704
ALL RIGHT, I TOOK THEM FROM HER!

26
00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:12,706
SORRY I HAD TO BREAK
YOU DOWN LIKE THAT.

27
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:14,475
LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING
IN THE KITCHEN.

28
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WOW, NICE RACK.

29
00:01:18,712 --> 00:01:20,248
THANK YOU.

30
00:01:20,281 --> 00:01:22,650
I DON'T GET ALL OFFENDED, SEE?

31
00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:24,585
BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT
THIS IS ABOUT.

32
00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:27,455
LENNOX JUST GAVE ME THIS.

33
00:01:27,488 --> 00:01:29,457
ALL RIGHT, I FOUND
IT IN THE CAR.

34
00:01:29,490 --> 00:01:32,226
ALL RIGHT, SHE SHOVED
IT IN THE ASHTRAY.

35
00:01:32,260 --> 00:01:36,096
ANNOYING THAT I DIDN'T START WITH
WHAT REALLY HAPPENED FIRST, ISN'T IT?

36
00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:38,666
IT'S FROM HER CHEMISTRY TEACHER.

37
00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:40,568
"UNREALIZED POTENTIAL;

38
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:43,771
NEEDS PARENTAL GUIDANCE;
DANGER OF FAILING"?

39
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WOW, IF THIS SAID
"FORGETS TO WEAR A BRA,"

40
00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:48,276
IT WOULD BE LIKE DEJA VU
OF ME IN HIGH SCHOOL.

41
00:01:48,309 --> 00:01:51,445
SHE NEEDS TO GET A
"B" ON HER NEXT EXAM

42
00:01:51,479 --> 00:01:53,347
AND EVERY EXAM AFTER
THAT JUST TO PASS.

43
00:01:53,381 --> 00:01:56,450
SO I HAVE TO HELP HER STUDY?
OH NO.

44
00:01:56,484 --> 00:01:58,719
WHAT, YOU DIDN'T RETAIN A LOT
OF YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CHEMISTRY?

45
00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:02,190
NO, I DID... NEVER
MIX BEER AND VODKA.

46
00:02:04,592 --> 00:02:06,360
OKAY, I KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO:

47
00:02:06,394 --> 00:02:08,162
I HAVE TO COME DOWN HARD ON HER

48
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RIGHT AFTER THAT CONCERT
ON MONDAY NIGHT.

49
00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:12,533
THE MONDAY NIGHT BEFORE
THE TUESDAY EXAM?

50
00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:14,435
YEAH, WHAT'S YOUR POINT?

51
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,304
OH, THAT WAS YOUR POINT.

52
00:02:16,337 --> 00:02:19,640
OH, COME ON, LET ME BE FUN AUNT MEL.
EVERYBODY LOVES FUN AUNT MEL.

53
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YEAH, FUN AUNT MEL. ISN'T SHE RELATED
TO THE DROP-OUT PREGNANT NIECE?

54
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AUNT MEL, I GOT YOUR TEXT.
WHAT'S THE BIG SURPRISE?

55
00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:29,149
UH, IT'S... WELL,

56
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SEE, SOME OF THE
SURPRISE IS GOOD

57
00:02:31,419 --> 00:02:33,687
AND SOME OF THE SURPRISE
IS NOT SO GOOD.

58
00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:36,123
LESS FAILING FROM YOU.
MORE PARENTING FROM YOU.

59
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:38,158
SURPRISE: YOU'RE BOTH GROUNDED.

60
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Both: AW MAN!

61
00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:47,368
♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK WITH ME ♪

62
00:02:53,641 --> 00:02:55,676
I KNOW. I KNOW I
SHOULD BE HARD ON HER,

63
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:58,346
- BUT IT'S JUST SO HARD.
- IT'S NOT THAT HARD.

64
00:02:58,379 --> 00:03:01,649
IT'S NOT HARD FOR YOU...
YOU'RE NOT LIKEABLE.

65
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:04,352
I'M COMPLETELY LOVABLE.
IT'S WHAT I'M KNOWN FOR...

66
00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:05,886
THAT AND MY LEGS.

67
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YES, THEY'RE LOVELY. WOULD YOU
LIKE ME TO GO AND TALK TO LENNOX?

68
00:03:10,658 --> 00:03:13,727
NO NO NO, I CAN HANDLE THIS BY MYSELF.
I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP.

69
00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:15,596
JUST TELL ME WHAT TO SAY.

70
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:18,266
ALL RIGHT, GO IN THERE AND
JUST LAY DOWN THE LAW, OKAY?

71
00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:20,701
RIGHT RIGHT. LAW...
LAYIN' IT DOWN.

72
00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:22,202
YES, AND NO MATTER
WHAT SHE SAYS,

73
00:03:22,236 --> 00:03:24,171
REMEMBER YOU ARE TOUGH AUNT MEL.
YOU'RE LIKE STEEL.

74
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,440
LOVABLE STEEL?

75
00:03:26,474 --> 00:03:29,677
YES, STEEL WITH A
SOFT, SQUISHY CENTER.

76
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,745
OH, I LIKE THAT.

77
00:03:31,779 --> 00:03:33,647
GET IN THERE, WILL YOU?

78
00:03:36,317 --> 00:03:39,953
SHE WILL CALL YOU BACK WHEN
SHE WINS THE NOBEL PRIZE.

79
00:03:39,987 --> 00:03:43,291
ALL RIGHT, LOOK, LENNOX, I
HAVE BEEN TOO EASY ON YOU.

80
00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:46,694
THAT'S WHY I LIKE YOU.
YOU'RE EASY AUNT MEL.

81
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:49,363
NO, I'M NOT EASY. I'M FUN.

82
00:03:49,397 --> 00:03:50,931
NO, THAT'S OVER, OKAY?

83
00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:52,866
I WANT YOU TO STUDY
CHAPTERS EIGHT AND 10

84
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:54,468
AND DO THIS FIRST PRACTICE TEST.

85
00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:56,370
AND THEN I CAN GO
TO JILLIAN'S PARTY.

86
00:03:56,404 --> 00:03:58,406
( laughs ) NO NO.

87
00:03:58,439 --> 00:04:02,009
NO. NO FUN, NO PHONE CALLS
AND NO ENTERTAINMENT.

88
00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:06,680
HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO SIT
HERE STUDYING CHEMISTRY?

89
00:04:06,714 --> 00:04:08,716
UNTIL YOU KNOW
EVERYTHING, ALL RIGHT?

90
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:11,719
OXYGEN, HYDROGEN, VALIUM...
ALL THE CHEMICALS.

91
00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:15,989
BOY, THAT'S A LOT OF HOMEWORK.

92
00:04:16,023 --> 00:04:17,825
- HOW'S THAT GOING?
- GOOD.

93
00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:20,461
HOW'S IT GOING BEING
A SOCIAL ZERO?

94
00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:23,464
FUN. I HANG OUT WITH ALL THE
OTHER ZEROES ON YOUR TESTS.

95
00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:25,299
RYDER, LEAVE HER
ALONE, ALL RIGHT?

96
00:04:25,333 --> 00:04:26,967
OR YOU'LL BE STUCK HERE
STUDYING CHEMISTRY TOO.

97
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,702
I DON'T TAKE CHEMISTRY.

98
00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:30,771
KEEP TALKIN' BACK AND
YOU WILL, MISTER!

99
00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:32,840
( doorbell rings )

100
00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:35,776
YEAH.

101
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:39,480
IF YOU'RE HERE TO TALK TO ME
ABOUT JESUS, I'M ALREADY A FAN.

102
00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:41,615
Man: I'M NOT A SOLICITOR,

103
00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:43,751
JUST A FORMER U.S. SENATOR

104
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,753
WANTING TO SEE MY LOVELY FAMILY

105
00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:47,521
AND WHOEVER YOU ARE.

106
00:04:48,889 --> 00:04:51,659
THANKS, PETE. THAT'LL DO IT.

107
00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:54,027
SENATOR BURKE? IT'S A
PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.

108
00:04:54,061 --> 00:04:55,729
I HAVE NO DOUBT.

109
00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:58,666
AND YOU ARE?

110
00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:01,001
I'M JOE LONGO. I-I-I
TAKE CARE OF THE...

111
00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:03,571
I'M THE NANNY.

112
00:05:03,604 --> 00:05:05,706
DON'T BE ASHAMED. IT'S
A CHANGING WORLD,

113
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:08,742
AND I ADMIRE A MAN WHO
TAKES ON A WOMAN'S ROLE.

114
00:05:08,776 --> 00:05:11,679
MRS. BURKE AND I
SOMETIMES PLAY GOLF

115
00:05:11,712 --> 00:05:14,348
WITH A MALE
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER.

116
00:05:14,382 --> 00:05:16,584
HE'S A HOMOSEXUAL.

117
00:05:18,619 --> 00:05:20,588
I HAD TO TAKE THIS JOB

118
00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:22,790
BECAUSE I USED TO WORK FOR
YOUR SON-IN-LAW LEWIS.

119
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,625
YEAH, AND THAT JERK TOOK
EVERYTHING FROM ME...

120
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:27,595
MY HOUSE, MY CARS, MY SAVINGS.

121
00:05:27,628 --> 00:05:29,763
THAT'S A VERY NICE ROLEX.

122
00:05:29,797 --> 00:05:31,932
I USED TO HAVE A ROLEX.

123
00:05:31,965 --> 00:05:33,701
HEY, DADDY, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING HERE?

124
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:35,603
HEY, SUGAR. DIDN'T
YOU GET MY EMAIL?

125
00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:37,771
I'M IN TOWN FOR THE CHAMBER
OF COMMERCE LUNCHEON.

126
00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:39,740
THAT'S NOT TILL FRIDAY.

127
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:41,542
I'M EARLY, YOU LUCKY GIRL.

128
00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:43,644
WHERE'S MOM? DIDN'T
SHE COME WITH YOU?

129
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:47,748
NO, SHE'S HAVING ONE OF HER
LITTLE NIPPY-TUCKY WEEKENDS.

130
00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:49,917
IS THERE ANYTHING LEFT TO TUCK?

131
00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:52,019
YOU'D BE AMAZED.

132
00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:54,588
HERE, A PRESENT FOR
MY LITTLE GIRL.

133
00:05:54,622 --> 00:05:57,725
I REMEMBER HOW MUCH YOU USED TO LOVE
THESE WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP.

134
00:05:57,758 --> 00:06:00,794
OH NO, DADDY. SEE, THAT
WAS YOUR OTHER DAUGHTER.

135
00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:02,663
HERE'S HOW YOU CAN
TELL US APART:

136
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:06,033
I HAVE BLUE EYES AND
MEREDITH IS IN JAIL.

137
00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:08,669
WHERE ARE MY TWO
FAVORITE GRANDCHILDREN?

138
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:11,772
- HEY, GRANDPA.
- HEY, BUDDY.

139
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:13,674
HI, I'M ON LOCKDOWN.

140
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,676
IF I LEAVE THE KITCHEN, MY
ANKLE BRACELET WILL GO OFF.

141
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,745
AT LEAST LINDSAY
LOHAN GOT SUSHI.

142
00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:20,414
SO, PRINCESS, WHAT
ARE YOU IN FOR?

143
00:06:20,448 --> 00:06:22,483
WELL, SOMEONE HASN'T
BEEN STUDYING,

144
00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:23,951
SOMEONE'S ON THE
VERGE OF FAILING

145
00:06:23,984 --> 00:06:25,853
AND THESE SOMEONES ARE
THE SAME SOMEONE.

146
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,855
TELL YOU WHAT: I
HAVE A LIMO OUTSIDE.

147
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:30,758
WHAT DO YOU SAY WE
HEAD BACK TO MY HOTEL

148
00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:33,461
AND TAKE A SWIM IN
THEIR BIG-ASS POOL?

149
00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:36,363
- Ryder: AWESOME.
- THAT MIGHT BE A BIG-ASS PROBLEM, SEE.

150
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,398
LENNOX IS IN SERIOUS
ACADEMIC TROUBLE.

151
00:06:38,432 --> 00:06:40,400
LOOK, I UNDERSTAND

152
00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:42,402
YOU'RE NEW TO THIS
GUARDIAN THING,

153
00:06:42,436 --> 00:06:44,805
BUT LET ME GIVE YOU THE BENEFIT
OF MY YEARS OF EXPERIENCE:

154
00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:48,442
PULL THE STICK OUT AND
LIGHTEN THE HELL UP,

155
00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:51,612
PUMPKIN.

156
00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:54,848
WOW, I THOUGHT SHE ONLY
MADE THAT FACE FOR ME.

157
00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:56,950
HEY, KIDS, WHY DON'T YOU
TAKE YOUR GRANDPA UPSTAIRS

158
00:06:56,984 --> 00:07:00,821
AND SHOW HIM THINGS, WELL,
THAT AREN'T DOWNSTAIRS?

159
00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:03,791
NICE DEFLECTION, NANNY JOE.

160
00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:07,394
OKAY, I'LL SPEND 10 MINUTES
WITH THE CHILDREN,

161
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,663
THEN I'LL HEAD BACK TO MY HOTEL

162
00:07:09,697 --> 00:07:14,502
AND I WILL NEVER TRY TO BE A
LOVING GRANDFATHER AGAIN.

163
00:07:14,535 --> 00:07:17,671
WELL, THANKS FOR NOT
GUILTING ME, DAD.

164
00:07:17,705 --> 00:07:20,107
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, FORMER
SENATOR RUSSELL BURKE,

165
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:22,976
REPRESENTING THE GREAT
STATE OF HIMSELF.

166
00:07:26,814 --> 00:07:29,650
COME ON, STEPHANIE,
IT'S A POWER OUTAGE.

167
00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:32,753
I'M BUSY BEING A HARD-ASS HERE.
DO THEY REALLY NEED ME?

168
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,655
IT'S NOT LIKE I CAN TURN
THE LIGHTS BACK ON.

169
00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:38,692
YES, STEPH, I KNOW I
HAVE A MEGAWATT SMILE.

170
00:07:38,726 --> 00:07:40,427
JUST GO. I CAN COVER.

171
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:41,662
I'LL BE YOUR BACKUP HARD-ASS.

172
00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:43,697
FINE, I'LL BE THERE.

173
00:07:43,731 --> 00:07:45,599
JUST DON'T LET LENNOX SLACK OFF.

174
00:07:45,633 --> 00:07:47,467
I WON'T. LOOK, SHE'S
IN THERE RIGHT NOW

175
00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:49,837
WORKING ON HER
PRACTICE TEST, SEE?

176
00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:52,840
WAIT, HOW DO YOU KNOW SHE'S NOT
JUST DOING A "COSMO" QUIZ?

177
00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:55,442
BECAUSE FIRST OF ALL, YOU
ALREADY DID THE "COSMO" QUIZ

178
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,945
AND YOU DID IT IN PEN, SO YOU
RUINED IT FOR EVERYBODY ELSE.

179
00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:00,447
AND SECOND, EVERY 15 MINUTES
SHE LOOKS UP AND SHE SAYS,

180
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:01,882
"UGH, THIS FRIGGIN'
PRACTICE TEST."

181
00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:04,484
OKAY, JUST DON'T LET HER GET
BACK ON HER PHONE AGAIN.

182
00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:06,119
THAT'D BE KIND OF HARD FOR HER TO DO.
YOU KNOW WHY?

183
00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:07,755
'CAUSE HER PHONE IS RIGHT HERE.

184
00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:09,790
OH GOOD. ALL RIGHT, NO PHONE,

185
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,592
NO GRANDPA, NO DISTRACTIONS.

186
00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:13,160
JUST GIVE HER A LITTLE
WATER IF SHE ASKS.

187
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:15,062
YEAH, AND IF SHE'S GOOD, I'LL
GIVE HER AN HOUR OUT IN THE YARD.

188
00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:17,798
- GO, ENJOY YOUR BLACKOUT.
- HEY, HOW DOES MY HAIR LOOK?

189
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,667
WHAT AM I ASKING?
IT'S A BLACKOUT.

190
00:08:23,871 --> 00:08:26,807
- HEY, JOE.
- SENATOR BURKE?

191
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:30,544
UM, YOU JUST MISSED
YOUR DAUGHTER.

192
00:08:30,578 --> 00:08:32,012
WHAT A SHAME.

193
00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:41,154
JOE, GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

194
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:43,523
YOU TOO. WHY ARE YOU HERE?

195
00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:45,058
HEY, GRANDPA.

196
00:08:45,092 --> 00:08:47,027
JUST WANT TO TAKE MY
BELOVED GRANDSON OUT

197
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:48,729
FOR THE EVENING, IF
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

198
00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:52,032
UM, WELL, YEAH. I
GUESS THAT'S OKAY.

199
00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:54,034
HEY, YOU MIND IF YOUR
SISTER COMES WITH US?

200
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:55,936
- SURE, I'LL GO GET HER.
- WHOA, WAIT A MINUTE.

201
00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:58,138
LENNOX HAS A LOT OF WORK TO DO
AND HAS A BIG TEST ON TUESDAY.

202
00:08:58,171 --> 00:09:00,708
SHE'LL STUDY BETTER IF
SHE GETS A LITTLE BREAK.

203
00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:02,710
AND WE DON'T KNOW
HOW MUCH MORE TIME

204
00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:06,046
THESE KIDS ARE GONNA GET
WITH THEIR POOR OLD GRANDPA.

205
00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:10,183
JOSEPH, GIVE ME AN HOUR.

206
00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:11,652
LOOK, SENATOR, I WOULD...

207
00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:14,121
YOU CAN TIME US
WITH THIS ROLEX...

208
00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:18,091
YOUR ROLEX.

209
00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:21,629
NO, I COULD NEVER TAKE
ANYTHING THIS NICE

210
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:23,964
AND YET SO MUCH LIKE MY OLD ONE.

211
00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:26,900
HERE WE GO, KIDS.

212
00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:28,902
SEE YOU IN AN HOUR.

213
00:09:28,936 --> 00:09:31,171
YEAH, OKAY, AN HOUR.

214
00:09:31,204 --> 00:09:33,674
HELLO, OLD FRIEND.

215
00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:35,743
OH, LOOK AT THAT FACE.

216
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:40,113
THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN
YOU RIDE THEM BACKWARDS.

217
00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:41,649
SERIOUSLY.

218
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:46,720
11:00. YOU SAID YOU'D
BE BACK BY 8:00.

219
00:09:46,754 --> 00:09:49,222
I KNOW, BUT YOU HAD MY WATCH.

220
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:50,791
AND MY PHONE.

221
00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:52,559
IT'S BEEN FOUR HOURS.

222
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,561
YEAH, FOUR OF THE
GREATEST HOURS EVER.

223
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:57,030
- HOLLA.
- HOLLA.

224
00:09:57,064 --> 00:09:59,032
LISTEN,

225
00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:01,568
THE ONLY REASON IT TOOK SO LONG

226
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:04,071
IS 'CAUSE LENNOX NEEDED A
LITTLE TIME TO GO TO HER PARTY.

227
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,039
YOU'RE KIDDING ME, RIGHT?

228
00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:10,010
DO YOU KNOW HOW TWEETED
THAT PARTY WAS?

229
00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:11,912
WHATEVER THAT MEANS.

230
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,246
YOU WENT TO A HIGH SCHOOL PARTY?

231
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,883
GOD NO. THAT WOULD BE
VERY INAPPROPRIATE.

232
00:10:15,916 --> 00:10:17,918
I CAN'T MAKE THAT MISTAKE AGAIN.

233
00:10:20,087 --> 00:10:22,956
WE DROPPED HER OFF, AND GRANDPA
AND I HUNG OUT AT THE ARCADE.

234
00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:25,192
OH REALLY? WHY STOP THERE? WHY
DIDN'T YOU HIT A FEW STRIP CLUBS,

235
00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:28,228
- MAYBE TAKE A LITTLE FLIGHT INTO VEGAS?
- JOSEPH, YOU SOUND PEEVED.

236
00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:31,231
YES, I AM. HOLLA.

237
00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:34,101
KIDS, WHY DON'T YOU
SCURRY ON UP TO BED?

238
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:36,069
- GOOD NIGHT.
- GOOD NIGHT, GRANDPA. THANKS.

239
00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:37,905
YOU BET.

240
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:40,373
WE HAD AN AGREEMENT, SENATOR.
WE SAID ONE HOUR.

241
00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:43,143
WELL, I TACKED ON A
LITTLE AMENDMENT.

242
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:45,645
COME ON, JOE. NOBODY GOT HURT

243
00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:47,280
AND NOBODY NEEDS TO KNOW.

244
00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:50,884
WHY STIR UP A HORNET'S NEST?

245
00:10:50,918 --> 00:10:53,620
MAN, THAT WATCH...

246
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:56,389
THAT WATCH WAS MADE FOR YOU.

247
00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:03,096
WELL, THE POWER'S BACK ON.
YIPPEE.

248
00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:05,165
I DID NOT GET TO
WEAR A HARD HAT,

249
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:07,768
I STEPPED IN MUD... I HOPE...

250
00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:09,970
AND THE ONLY BURLY CONSTRUCTION
WORKER THAT WHISTLED AT ME

251
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,039
WAS NAMED ALLYSON.

252
00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:16,276
SO WAS LENNOX IN A BAD
MOOD THE WHOLE TIME?

253
00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:19,212
NO, I CAN HONESTLY SAY
THAT WAS NOT THE CASE.

254
00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:20,748
MEL, LOOK...

255
00:11:20,781 --> 00:11:22,816
HEY, LOOK AT THIS PRACTICE TEST.

256
00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:24,752
87%? WOW.

257
00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:27,755
I THINK THIS WHOLE HARD-ASS
PARENT THING IS WORKING FOR ME.

258
00:11:27,788 --> 00:11:30,057
I HATE TO TELL YOU THIS, BUT THAT
TEST IS NOT THE WHOLE STORY.

259
00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:32,325
NO NO NO NO, ONLY
POSITIVE ENERGY, OKAY?

260
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:35,428
JUST LET ME HAVE THIS ONE SHINING
MOMENT WHERE EVERYTHING WORKED OUT.

261
00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:37,931
LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL
PRACTICE TEST.

262
00:11:37,965 --> 00:11:39,833
IT EVEN SMELLS GOOD.

263
00:11:39,867 --> 00:11:41,835
MAKES ME WANT TO ROLL
IT UP AND SMOKE IT.

264
00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:51,044
I HAD THE MOST WONDERFUL
DREAM LAST NIGHT.

265
00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:54,114
LENNOX WAS GRADUATING
FROM HARVARD AND YALE

266
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:56,683
AND SHE THANKED ME FOR
THAT ONE FATEFUL NIGHT

267
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,185
I MADE HER STAY HOME AND STUDY.

268
00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,988
LOOK, MEL, ABOUT LAST NIGHT...

269
00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:03,156
RUSSELL CAME BACK OVER
HERE AND IT WASN'T PRETTY.

270
00:12:03,190 --> 00:12:05,725
OH, I'M REALLY SORRY YOU
HAD TO DEAL WITH MY DAD,

271
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:08,228
BUT THANK YOU FOR LAYING DOWN
THE LAW, DEPUTY HARD-ASS.

272
00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:13,000
- GOOD MORNING.
- GOOD MORNING, LENNOX.

273
00:12:13,033 --> 00:12:14,902
HEY, I SAW YOUR PRACTICE TEST.

274
00:12:14,935 --> 00:12:19,172
NICE WORK... UNREALIZED
POTENTIAL GETTING REALIZED.

275
00:12:19,206 --> 00:12:21,008
WOW, YOU'RE IN A GOOD MOOD.

276
00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:22,409
I THOUGHT YOU'D BE MAD AT ME.

277
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:24,011
WHY WOULD I BE MAD AT YOU?

278
00:12:24,044 --> 00:12:26,046
OH, YOU DIDN'T TALK TO GRANDPA?

279
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,014
LENNOX, LET ME TELL HER, OKAY?

280
00:12:27,047 --> 00:12:29,049
I'M GONNA GO LIVE
WITH GRANDPA IN D.C.

281
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,750
Both: WHAT?

282
00:12:30,784 --> 00:12:32,285
WHOA, WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?

283
00:12:32,319 --> 00:12:34,421
YOU'RE GOING TO
HARVARD AND YALE.

284
00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:36,223
COME ON, DON'T KILL MY DREAM.

285
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,992
GRANDPA BROUGHT IT UP WHEN
HE WAS DRIVING ME HOME.

286
00:12:39,026 --> 00:12:40,227
HOME FROM WHERE?

287
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:43,196
JILLIAN'S PARTY.

288
00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:45,432
YOU WENT TO THE PARTY? YOU
LET HER LEAVE THE HOUSE

289
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:47,868
AND NO ONE TOLD ME?
BACK THE TRUCK UP.

290
00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:51,204
WELL, GRANDPA SAID SINCE YOU'RE
HAVING TROUBLE DEALING WITH ME,

291
00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:53,907
WHY DON'T I COME AND LIVE
WITH HIM AND GRANDMA IN D.C.

292
00:12:53,941 --> 00:12:56,743
WHERE I'LL GET A YELLOW MINI
COOPER ON MY 16th BIRTHDAY?

293
00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:59,146
JOE, WERE YOU HOME
AT ALL LAST NIGHT

294
00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:01,014
WHEN THESE EXTENSIVE
PLANS GOT MADE?

295
00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:05,085
YOU WANTED TO HAVE A GOOD NIGHT
AND SMOKE A PRACTICE TEST.

296
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:07,520
I THINK WE BOTH GOT FILIBUSTERED
BY YOUR DAD HERE...

297
00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:10,090
FILIBUSTERED HARD.

298
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:13,460
SO WHAT DO YOU SAY, AUNT MEL?

299
00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:16,096
I SAY

300
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,331
I NEED A QUIET
MOMENT TO MEDITATE.

301
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:27,507
- YOU WANT A GLASS?
- GLASSES ONLY SLOW ME DOWN.

302
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:41,955
OH HEY, I JUST WANT
TO LET YOU KNOW

303
00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:43,523
I DROPPED THE KIDS OFF AT SCHOOL

304
00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:46,293
AND I WENT OVER THE ELEMENTS
WITH LENNOX THE WHOLE WAY, SO...

305
00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:49,863
I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU
DIDN'T OPEN THAT.

306
00:13:49,897 --> 00:13:52,933
YEAH WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO
OPEN IT TO THROW IT AT SOMEONE.

307
00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:55,869
( clears throat )

308
00:13:55,903 --> 00:13:59,039
GO AHEAD... CHICKS DIG SCARS.

309
00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:01,975
IT'S NOT YOU. IT'S RUSSELL.

310
00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:03,977
YOU'RE NOT THE FIRST
NANNY HE SEDUCED.

311
00:14:04,011 --> 00:14:06,846
OF COURSE, MOST OF
THEM GOT JEWELRY.

312
00:14:08,115 --> 00:14:10,884
( chuckles )

313
00:14:10,918 --> 00:14:13,053
YOU KNOW, I INVITED MY DAD
OVER FOR DINNER TONIGHT,

314
00:14:13,086 --> 00:14:15,122
AND I HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT TO SAY TO HIM.

315
00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:17,124
I MEAN, I CAN'T WIN.
IF THINGS ARE BAD NOW,

316
00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:19,126
HOW BAD ARE THEY GONNA BE
WHEN I FORCE HER TO STAY?

317
00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:20,360
AND I HAVE TO FORCE HER TO STAY.

318
00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:23,430
CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT'LL HAPPEN
IF SHE GOES TO LIVE WITH HIM?

319
00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:25,832
IT'LL BE ONE BIG
DOWNWARD SPIRAL,

320
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:28,068
AND I'VE FALLEN DOWN THAT
SPIRAL MYSELF BEFORE...

321
00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:30,070
LITERALLY.

322
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:32,305
WE HAD THIS SPIRAL STAIRCASE
AT THE GEORGETOWN HOUSE.

323
00:14:32,339 --> 00:14:34,942
IT WAS THE JUNIOR
PROM AFTERPARTY.

324
00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:36,944
AND I WAS SO WASTED,
I BROKE THREE TEETH

325
00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:39,212
AND FLASHED THE
ENTIRE KITCHEN STAFF.

326
00:14:41,148 --> 00:14:42,449
OKAY.

327
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:45,085
LOOK, IF YOU WANT TO WIN,

328
00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:47,054
IF YOU WANT TO KEEP LENNOX HERE,

329
00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:49,389
THEN YOU NEED TO
FIGHT HER, OKAY?

330
00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:51,591
AND THE WAY TO FIGHT HER
IS BY NOT FIGHTING HER.

331
00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:54,461
IS THAT FROM "THE KARATE KID"?

332
00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:57,464
MAYBE, YEAH. THE
POINT IS THOUGH,

333
00:14:57,497 --> 00:15:00,200
IT'S A CLASSIC TEEN GAMBIT, OKAY?
IT'S THE GAME OF CHICKEN.

334
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:03,103
YOU ARE BOTH IN THE SAME CAR AND YOU'RE
HEADED TOWARD THE EDGE OF THE CLIFF.

335
00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:05,438
SHE THINKS YOU'RE GONNA TURN TO
HER AND SCREAM, "LENNOX, NO!

336
00:15:05,472 --> 00:15:07,574
STOP, PLEASE! NOT THE CLIFF!
IT'S A HORRIBLE MISTAKE!"

337
00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:10,043
BUT YOU'RE NOT GONNA SAY THAT.
WHAT YOU'RE GONNA SAY IS,

338
00:15:10,077 --> 00:15:12,445
"LENNOX, GO FASTER. LOOK
AT THAT BEAUTIFUL CLIFF.

339
00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:15,115
HEY, LET'S SEE IF YOUR LITTLE
YELLOW MINI COOPER CAN FLY."

340
00:15:15,148 --> 00:15:17,250
AND I PROMISE YOU
SHE WILL BACK OFF.

341
00:15:17,284 --> 00:15:18,585
YOU THINK THAT'LL WORK?

342
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:21,654
YES. GUARANTEED.

343
00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:24,224
I MEAN, YOU'RE DESPERATE, RIGHT?

344
00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:34,034
I REALLY THOUGHT YOU'D BE FIGHTING
ME ON THIS LENNOX MOVE, MEL,

345
00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:36,269
THE WAY YOU FOUGHT ME ON EVERYTHING
WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP.

346
00:15:36,303 --> 00:15:38,505
I NEVER FOUGHT YOU ON ANYTHING.
AND IF I DID, YOU STARTED IT.

347
00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:40,173
BREAD?

348
00:15:40,207 --> 00:15:43,543
- THANKS, JOE.
- SURE.

349
00:15:43,576 --> 00:15:47,680
ANYWAY, I FIGURE YOU GUYS
HAVE THOUGHT THIS THROUGH.

350
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:51,018
AND IF THIS IS WHAT LENNOX
WANTS, LET'S GO WITH THAT.

351
00:15:51,051 --> 00:15:53,453
WOW, I'M REALLY GONNA MISS
YOU WHEN YOU'RE GONE.

352
00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:55,422
OH, BUT JOE, WHEN SHE LEAVES,

353
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:58,325
WE'RE TURNING HER
ROOM INTO A GYM.

354
00:15:58,358 --> 00:16:02,029
YOU KNOW, WITH GRANDPA I DON'T
HAVE TO HAVE THE 10:00 CURFEW.

355
00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:04,264
HE SAYS I CAN STAY
OUT TILL 11:00.

356
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:07,134
HEY, MEL, WHAT TIME WAS YOUR
CURFEW WHEN YOU WERE LENNOX'S AGE?

357
00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:09,936
GEE, YOU KNOW,

358
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,504
I DON'T THINK I HAD A CURFEW.

359
00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:14,041
I MEAN, I STAYED OUT A LOT OF NIGHTS.
RIGHT, DADDY?

360
00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:16,709
I SUPPOSE THAT'S TRUE.

361
00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:18,578
- REALLY?
- YEAH.

362
00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:21,048
OH, THIS IS GONNA BE SO AWESOME.

363
00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:23,483
UM, YEAH.

364
00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:26,219
YOU KNOW, GRANDMA AND GRANDPA ARE
REALLY RELAXED ABOUT THAT STUFF.

365
00:16:26,253 --> 00:16:29,256
HEY, IS THAT FAMILY PLANNING
CLINIC STILL AT 17th AND P?

366
00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:31,691
I IMAGINE.

367
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:33,593
I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND IT.

368
00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:36,563
LIVING WITH RUSSELL AND MONICA IS
LIKE NOT HAVING PARENTS AT ALL.

369
00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:38,131
ISN'T THAT GREAT?

370
00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:41,534
YEAH. YEAH, I GUESS.

371
00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:43,236
I'M STILL GONNA GO
TO SCHOOL, RIGHT?

372
00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:46,039
ABSOLUTELY, BUT NOT ONE OF THOSE

373
00:16:46,073 --> 00:16:49,008
ACADEMICALLY TAXING, IVY
LEAGUE FEEDER SCHOOLS.

374
00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:51,378
NO, YOU WANT TO GO TO A
MORE RELAXED INSTITUTION

375
00:16:51,411 --> 00:16:54,347
WHERE THE PRETTY GIRLS GO.

376
00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:56,116
- WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT?
- BREAD?

377
00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:58,518
- NO, DID YOU HEAR WHAT HE JUST SAID?
- BREAD?

378
00:16:58,551 --> 00:17:01,154
DON'T WORRY. THEY'LL HAVE
MIXERS WITH THE REAL SCHOOLS.

379
00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:05,158
AND THAT WAY YOU CAN MEET A PROMISING
YOUNG MAN WHO'S GOING SOMEPLACE.

380
00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:09,162
HOOK THE RIGHT ONE, REEL HIM
IN AND YOU'RE SET FOR LIFE.

381
00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:11,231
OKAY, ALL RIGHT. WHAT IS SHE,

382
00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:13,733
JUST SOME PRIZE STEER YOU'RE
GONNA TAKE TO MARKET?

383
00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:15,102
JOE, EASY.

384
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:17,137
LOOK, RUSSELL, LENNOX
IS SMART, OKAY?

385
00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:19,038
AND MEL EXPECTS HER TO BE MORE
THAN JUST SOME GUY'S ARM CANDY.

386
00:17:19,072 --> 00:17:20,573
AND THAT'S WHY
SHE'S HARD ON HER.

387
00:17:20,607 --> 00:17:25,011
LET'S BE REALISTIC. THAT FACE
IS WASTED STUCK IN A BOOK.

388
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:28,181
WHAT? YOUR FACE IS WASTED
STUCK ON YOUR NECK!

389
00:17:28,215 --> 00:17:30,683
- WHAT?
- JOE, GET BACK IN THE CAR.

390
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:32,685
NO, I CAN'T. DID YOU
HEAR WHAT HE JUST SAID?

391
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:35,288
SOMEONE'S NANNY'S GOT
HIS APRON IN A BUNCH.

392
00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:36,689
OKAY, ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT?
THAT'S IT.

393
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:38,691
YOUR AUNT MEL IS GONNA
SHUT THIS DOWN RIGHT NOW

394
00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:40,493
BECAUSE SHE IS YOUR
LEGAL GUARDIAN.

395
00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:42,195
OKAY, I THINK I
HAVE A SAY IN THIS.

396
00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:43,663
YEAH, AND SO DO I.

397
00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:46,399
JOSEPH, MIGHT I HAVE A WORD
WITH YOU IN THE KITCHEN?

398
00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:50,603
SAVE YOUR FORKS.

399
00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:55,408
WHAT WERE YOU DOING?

400
00:17:55,442 --> 00:17:57,577
WE WERE RIGHT AT THE CLIFF. SHE
WAS ABOUT TO PUT ON THE BRAKES.

401
00:17:57,610 --> 00:18:00,413
AND THEN YOU GRABBED THE STEERING
WHEEL AND DROVE HER STRAIGHT TO D.C.

402
00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:01,781
HE CAN'T SAY THOSE
THINGS ABOUT LENNOX.

403
00:18:01,814 --> 00:18:03,583
IT'S NOT FAIR TO YOU AND
IT'S NOT FAIR TO HER.

404
00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:05,485
WHO CARES? YOU
COMPLETELY LOST IT.

405
00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:08,155
YOU WENT ROGUE. YOU
TOTALLY BLEW THE MISSION.

406
00:18:08,188 --> 00:18:10,157
HE NEEDED TELLING OFF.
I'M THE MAN OF THE HOUSE

407
00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:12,759
AND I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS GONNA...
WOW.

408
00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:15,562
CAN WE GO BACK IN THERE AND TRY THIS AGAIN?
IT WAS A VERY GOOD PLAN.

409
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,397
JOE, NO DO-OVERS, ALL RIGHT?

410
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,799
IT'S OVER. SHE'S GONE.
THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO.

411
00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:21,268
AUNT MEL.

412
00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:23,670
OH, DESSERT IN A
MINUTE, SWEETIE.

413
00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:27,607
I JUST WANTED TO SAY THIS WHOLE
IDEA OF ME MOVING TO WASHINGTON...

414
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:30,343
OH YEAH, THAT COOL IDEA. UH-HUH?

415
00:18:30,377 --> 00:18:33,813
YEAH, I'M STARTING TO THINK
IT'S NOT THE RIGHT MOVE.

416
00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:36,516
I FEEL LIKE I'M DRIVING OFF
SOME KIND OF CLIFF HERE.

417
00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:41,321
REALLY? YOU THINK SO?

418
00:18:41,354 --> 00:18:43,122
YEAH, I MEAN, I JUST...

419
00:18:43,156 --> 00:18:45,658
I DON'T WANT TO BE
SOME GUY'S ARM CANDY.

420
00:18:45,692 --> 00:18:48,695
AND IF THERE'S ANY CHANCE OF
ME MAKING SOMETHING OF MYSELF,

421
00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:50,830
I'D PROBABLY BE BETTER OFF HERE

422
00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:54,133
WITH, YOU KNOW,
SOMEONE TO PUSH ME.

423
00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:57,204
AND IF I GO AND LIVE WITH GRANDPA IN
WASHINGTON, I COULD END UP LIKE YOU.

424
00:18:58,405 --> 00:19:00,807
WELL, NOT THE NOW YOU.

425
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,775
THE MESSY-HAIRED MUG SHOT YOU.

426
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:05,645
WELL, I DON'T KNOW. I THOUGHT
IT WAS SUCH A GREAT IDEA

427
00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:07,514
FOR YOU TO GO LIVE
WITH YOUR GRANDFATHER.

428
00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:09,349
YEAH, DON'T BUY BACK
THE SALE HERE, BURKE.

429
00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:12,151
BUT I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND YOUR DECISION.
AND IT'S FINAL, RIGHT?

430
00:19:12,185 --> 00:19:16,223
YEAH. ANYWAY, THAT WAS IT.

431
00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:21,728
I DID IT.

432
00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:23,363
YOU DID IT?

433
00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:25,365
YEAH, IT WAS MY ARM-CANDY LINE

434
00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:27,166
THAT TURNED THE
WHOLE THING AROUND.

435
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:28,235
IT WAS ME DRIVING OFF THE CLIFF.

436
00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:29,436
- ARM CANDY.
- CLIFF.

437
00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:30,870
- ARM CANDY.
- CLIFF.

438
00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:33,206
WE BOTH JUST GOT LUCKY
THERE, DIDN'T WE?

439
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,308
YEAH, WE DID.

440
00:19:35,342 --> 00:19:37,210
I'LL TELL YOU, BURKE, WITH A
GUY LIKE THAT AS A FATHER,

441
00:19:37,244 --> 00:19:39,312
IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE YOU'RE AS
CLOSE TO NORMAL AS YOU ARE.

442
00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:41,281
THANK YOU. I BELIEVE THAT
WAS CLOSE TO A COMPLIMENT.

443
00:19:41,314 --> 00:19:43,250
CLOSE AS YOU'RE GONNA GET.

444
00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:51,624
TAKE CARE, ALL OF YOU.

445
00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:54,594
RYDER, SORRY YOU DIDN'T
GET THAT EXTRA ROOM.

446
00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:56,463
DO BOYS YOUR AGE
STILL LIKE CASH?

447
00:19:56,496 --> 00:19:57,864
IT'S TIMELESS.

448
00:19:57,897 --> 00:20:01,301
THAT'S HOW MOST
LEGISLATION GETS PASSED.

449
00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:03,470
SO WHAT ABOUT ME, GRANDPA?

450
00:20:03,503 --> 00:20:05,905
OH YES, I DO HAVE
SOMETHING FOR YOU,

451
00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:08,308
BEAUTIFUL AND SMART LENNOX.

452
00:20:08,341 --> 00:20:10,877
"THE LIFE OF MADAM CURIE."

453
00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:12,912
A FAMOUS WOMAN SCIENTIST...

454
00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:15,214
NOT MUCH OF A LOOKER,
BUT VERY INSPIRATIONAL.

455
00:20:15,248 --> 00:20:17,584
THANKS, GRANDPA.

456
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:19,286
OH HERE.

457
00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:21,654
USE THESE 20s AS A BOOKMARK.

458
00:20:21,688 --> 00:20:24,357
AND MEL, I DON'T HAVE
ANYTHING FOR YOU

459
00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:27,560
EXCEPT GRUDGING ADMIRATION.

460
00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:31,731
GRUDGING? I MEAN, THANK YOU.

461
00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:33,900
DEAR SWEET JOSEPH.

462
00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:35,535
MY WATCH.

463
00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:40,807
I'M GONNA MISS YOU, BUDDY.

464
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,609
OH, HERE WE GO.

465
00:20:42,642 --> 00:20:45,244
WELL, SEND US PICTURES
OF MOM'S NEW FACE.

466
00:20:45,278 --> 00:20:47,314
I DO HOPE I RECOGNIZE HER.

467
00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:49,215
LET'S DO THIS AGAIN SOON.

468
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:51,684
GOODBYE.

469
00:20:51,718 --> 00:20:54,921
WELL, I GUESS THERE'S
NOTHING LEFT TO SAY EXCEPT

470
00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:58,391
LENNOX, UPSTAIRS...
HIT THE BOOKS NOW.

471
00:20:58,425 --> 00:21:00,960
HEY, JOE, YOU WANNA
GO SHOOT SOME HOOPS?

472
00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:02,962
YEAH. I'LL MEET YOU OUT THERE.

473
00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:06,666
LOOK, LENNOX, I'M REALLY SORRY

474
00:21:06,699 --> 00:21:08,501
WE'RE GONNA MISS THAT GREEN
DAY CONCERT ON MONDAY,

475
00:21:08,535 --> 00:21:10,970
BUT I CAN'T KEEP YOU UP TILL MIDNIGHT
THE NIGHT BEFORE A BIG TEST.

476
00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:13,773
IT'S FINE. I UNDERSTAND.

477
00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:15,908
BUT IF YOU GET A "B"
OR BETTER ON THE TEST,

478
00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:20,313
WE WILL GO SEE GREEN DAY
IN DETROIT ON SATURDAY.

479
00:21:20,347 --> 00:21:21,514
REALLY?

480
00:21:21,548 --> 00:21:23,550
OH, THANK YOU, THANK
YOU, THANK YOU.

481
00:21:25,852 --> 00:21:26,919
HOW'D YOU GET THOSE TICKETS?

482
00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:29,522
I TOLD YOU, I'M A VERY
IMPORTANT PERSON.

483
00:21:29,556 --> 00:21:31,624
ALL RIGHT, I'M A
SEMI-IMPORTANT PERSON.

484
00:21:31,658 --> 00:21:33,860
ALL RIGHT, MY DAD IS A
VERY IMPORTANT PERSON

485
00:21:33,893 --> 00:21:36,896
AND HE MADE A CALL FOR ME. AT LEAST
HE'S STILL GOOD FOR SOMETHING.

486
00:21:37,930 --> 00:21:39,932
( theme music playing )

