1
00:00:06,407 --> 00:00:09,277
"MELISSA & JOEY" IS RECORDED IN
FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.

2
00:00:09,310 --> 00:00:11,445
GOOD MORNING.

3
00:00:11,479 --> 00:00:13,247
- GOOD MORNING, JOE.
- GOOD MORNING.

4
00:00:13,281 --> 00:00:15,349
SOMETHING SMELLS REALLY GOOD
IN HERE AND I DIDN'T COOK IT.

5
00:00:15,383 --> 00:00:17,185
WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?

6
00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:18,586
AUNT MEL MADE BREAKFAST.

7
00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:21,589
AND WHEN YOU THREW ALL THAT OUT
YOU ORDERED IN FROM A RESTAURANT?

8
00:00:23,191 --> 00:00:26,060
- YOU'RE NOT KIDDING.
- CINNAMON ROLLS.

9
00:00:26,094 --> 00:00:28,162
IT'S TRUE.

10
00:00:28,196 --> 00:00:29,597
FROM SCRATCH?

11
00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:32,066
IF "SCRATCH" MEANS BY
DAWN'S EARLY LIGHT,

12
00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:34,502
THEN YES, MY SHINY-HEADED
DOMESTIC FRIEND.

13
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THEY'RE GOOD.

14
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,308
AND THEY'RE REAL.

15
00:00:42,310 --> 00:00:45,213
SO, JOE, HOW'S IT FEEL NOT
TO BE TOP CHEF ANYMORE?

16
00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:48,182
IT'S NOT REALLY A COMPETITION, RYDER.
IT'S JUST...

17
00:00:48,216 --> 00:00:50,518
PSST, BURKE.

18
00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:56,257
"FROM REFRIGERATOR TO
TABLE IN JUST MINUTES."

19
00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:58,592
I JUST USED THAT
FOR THE PICTURE...

20
00:00:58,626 --> 00:01:00,628
YOU KNOW, THE WAY AN
ARTIST USES A NUDE MODEL.

21
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:04,265
DAMN YOU, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

22
00:01:04,298 --> 00:01:06,234
- DOLBY SOUND SYSTEM IN THE S.U.V.
- FINE.

23
00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:07,401
- 10 SPEAKERS.
- SIX.

24
00:01:07,435 --> 00:01:09,470
- EIGHT.
- DEAL.

25
00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:12,373
YOU DON'T REALLY NEED
MORE THAN EIGHT.

26
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:14,475
I'VE STILL GOT IT.

27
00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:17,245
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. YOUR
AUNT HAS FINALLY TOPPED ME.

28
00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:19,247
THE ONLY THING LEFT FOR ME
TO DO NOW IS JUST LISTEN

29
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:22,350
TO THE SWEET MUSIC OF DEFEAT.

30
00:01:22,383 --> 00:01:24,652
HI, NORMAL FAMILY.

31
00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:27,488
LENNOX, CAN I GET A
RIDE IN WITH YOU TODAY?

32
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MY MOM'S HAVING ONE
OF HER MELTDOWNS.

33
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SHE'S NOT THROWING
STUFF, IS SHE?

34
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NAH, IT'S THE ONE WHERE SHE GOES TO
THE SUPERMARKET IN HER WEDDING DRESS.

35
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I'VE SEEN HER.

36
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GOOD MORNING, PHOEBE.

37
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:43,204
LENNOX, I HAVE SOME NEWS THAT
IS GONNA MAKE YOU LOVE ME.

38
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I GOT AN EMAIL FROM YOUR SCHOOL

39
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ASKING IF I'D CHAPERONE THE
SCHOOL DANCE ON SATURDAY NIGHT,

40
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AND I REPLIED, "NUH-UH, NOT
MAKING THAT ROOKIE MISTAKE."

41
00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:51,212
PROUD OF ME?

42
00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:53,347
EH.

43
00:01:53,381 --> 00:01:55,149
YOU CAN DO IT IF YOU WANT.

44
00:01:55,183 --> 00:01:56,317
BUT...

45
00:01:56,350 --> 00:01:57,551
WE'RE NOT GOING.

46
00:01:57,585 --> 00:01:59,620
NOBODY ASKED YOU GUYS, HUH?

47
00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:02,290
IT'S JUST THAT THE
10th-GRADE BOYS ARE ALL...

48
00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:03,591
THEY HAVE A WORD
FOR IT IN FRENCH.

49
00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:05,193
LES GEEKS.

50
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WHY DO YOU NEED A DATE? JUST GO WITH EACH
OTHER. I USED TO DO IT ALL THE TIME.

51
00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:11,399
AND WHEN YOU GET TO THE SCHOOL DANCE
YOU JUST SNAKE SOME OTHER GIRL'S DATE.

52
00:02:11,432 --> 00:02:12,600
WHICH IS WRONG.

53
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:15,603
- ABSOLUTELY WRONG.
- YEAH.

54
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COOL IDEA. WANNA GO
TO THE DANCE WITH ME?

55
00:02:18,272 --> 00:02:20,308
SURE. WANNA GO TO
THE DANCE WITH ME?

56
00:02:20,341 --> 00:02:21,909
- SURE.
- GREAT.

57
00:02:21,942 --> 00:02:24,712
WE BOTH HAVE DATES. AND IF YOU
EVEN THINK OF CHAPERONING,

58
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:27,215
I WILL CALL CHILD
PROTECTIVE SERVICES.

59
00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:33,354
♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK WITH ME ♪

60
00:02:36,224 --> 00:02:38,392
"TOLEDO NEEDS A NEW YOUTH CENTER

61
00:02:38,426 --> 00:02:41,595
TO CENTER THE YOUTH OF TOLEDO."

62
00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:43,531
WELL, THIS WILL HELP
VOTERS SLEEP AT NIGHT

63
00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:45,566
AND WHILE I'M TALKING.

64
00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:48,569
DID YOU LIKE IT? I WROTE IT.

65
00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:51,272
OH, YOU KNOW, LET'S JUST SAVE
THIS FOR A SPECIAL OCCASION.

66
00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:53,207
( chuckles )

67
00:02:53,241 --> 00:02:55,976
ALL RIGHT, LET ME TAKE A STAB
AT THIS IN MY OWN VOICE.

68
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:58,512
UM, YOUTH CENTER.

69
00:02:58,546 --> 00:03:00,614
YOUTH CENTER.

70
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YOUUUUUUTH CEN-TERRRRR...

71
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I NEED A SNACK.

72
00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:06,654
( phone beeps )

73
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,656
OH MY GOD.

74
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:11,492
"LONG-TIME TOLEDO
COUNCILMAN ARLAN TEPPER

75
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,761
ACCUSED OF EMPLOYING
ILLEGALS AS DOMESTIC HELP."

76
00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:15,496
THEY'VE PICKED UP HIS GARDENER

77
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,265
AND HIS CLEANING LADY.

78
00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:18,499
HIS HOUSE IS GONNA BE A MESS.

79
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:22,236
HEY HEY, GOSSIP WON'T GET THIS
SPEECH WRITTEN, MISSY, OKAY?

80
00:03:22,270 --> 00:03:24,672
SO UNLESS IT'S AN ITEM
ABOUT MATT DAMON'S FETISH

81
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:27,641
FOR LITTLE BLONDE CITY
COUNCILWOMEN, LET'S FOCUS ON THIS.

82
00:03:27,675 --> 00:03:29,410
ABSOLUTELY.

83
00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:31,545
OOH, TEPPER'S HAVING A PRESS
CONFERENCE IN AN HOUR.

84
00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:33,481
THERE'S A PICTURE OF HIM CRYING.

85
00:03:33,514 --> 00:03:35,283
HE LOOKS SO SAD.

86
00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:37,551
( both laugh )

87
00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:40,388
YOU'RE SURE THAT THIS IS
100% RELIABLE INFORMATION?

88
00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:41,555
IT'S ALL OVER FACEBOOK.

89
00:03:41,589 --> 00:03:44,392
WELL, THAT NEVER LIES.

90
00:03:44,425 --> 00:03:45,626
FINE, WE'RE JUST GONNA
GO WITH IT THEN.

91
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:47,795
HEY MEL, WE HAVE A VERY
SERIOUS SITUATION HERE.

92
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:49,663
( laughs )

93
00:03:49,697 --> 00:03:51,632
OKAY.

94
00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:53,601
LENNOX AND PHOEBE IN
ORDER TO SAVE MONEY

95
00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:55,135
BOUGHT A COUPLE'S TICKET
TO GO TO THE DANCE.

96
00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:58,272
AND NOW THERE'S A RUMOR GOING AROUND
THE SCHOOL THAT THEY ARE A GAY COUPLE.

97
00:03:58,306 --> 00:04:00,508
OH NO, OH NO, SHE'S
GONNA BLAME ME.

98
00:04:00,541 --> 00:04:01,542
I THINK IT'S GONNA BLOW OVER.

99
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,277
NO, THESE THINGS STICK.

100
00:04:03,311 --> 00:04:06,046
FIRST DAY OF SEVENTH GRADE
BETHANY GERSH THREW UP AT LUNCH.

101
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:09,283
FOR THE NEXT SIX YEARS SHE
WAS KNOWN AS BARFANY GERSH.

102
00:04:09,317 --> 00:04:11,685
IN HIGH SCHOOL THEY
CALLED ME STRETCH.

103
00:04:11,719 --> 00:04:14,021
IT WAS IRONIC.

104
00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:15,589
WAS IT?

105
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:21,629
OH, YOU POOR SWEET CHILD,
HOW ARE YOU HOLDING UP?

106
00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:24,698
THE GAY THING.

107
00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:26,300
OH, THAT.

108
00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:28,569
ISN'T THAT HILARIOUS?

109
00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:31,705
BUT WON'T... AREN'T... ISN'T
EVERYBODY BEING CRUEL?

110
00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:34,642
HARD TO TELL. IT'S HIGH SCHOOL.

111
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,579
COME ON, MY GAY SISTER-FRIEND,

112
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,348
LET'S GO GET TICKETS
TO LILITH FAIR

113
00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:42,450
AND WATCH A LITTLE W.N.B.A.
ACTION.

114
00:04:42,483 --> 00:04:44,284
( giggling )

115
00:04:46,454 --> 00:04:47,821
SHE IS REALLY UPSET, BURKE.

116
00:04:47,855 --> 00:04:49,790
YOU TOTALLY CALLED THAT ONE.

117
00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:53,627
OH MY GOD, MY NIECE
IS A FAKE LESBIAN.

118
00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:56,730
WE'RE GONNA BE ON "OPRAH."

119
00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:02,370
UH-OH. THIS IS BIG.

120
00:05:02,403 --> 00:05:03,871
NO NO NO, YOU'RE NOT TAKING
ME OFF THE SPEECH AGAIN

121
00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:06,540
WITH ANOTHER PIECE OF GOSSIPY...
UH-OH.

122
00:05:06,574 --> 00:05:08,376
KNOCK KNOCK. JOE.

123
00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:10,077
JOE, YOU GOT A MINUTE?

124
00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:13,614
...THREE.

125
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:16,083
I'M AT LUNCH.

126
00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:17,751
IT'S 5:00.

127
00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:19,820
I EAT LATE.

128
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:24,492
EXCUSE ME, I'LL JUST...

129
00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:28,929
GOSH, YOUR VEINS GET SO
POPPY WHEN YOU DO THAT.

130
00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:31,765
JOE, I GOT A SITUATION HERE.

131
00:05:31,799 --> 00:05:35,703
AND HE'S GOT A SITUATION THERE.

132
00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:37,638
KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS, STRETCH.

133
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:40,441
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT... WHY
DON'T I STOP WHAT I'M DOING

134
00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:41,609
AND GIVE MY UNDIVIDED
ATTENTION TO YOU?

135
00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:43,644
HOW ABOUT I DO THAT FOR YOU?

136
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:44,745
THERE'S A HUGE PROBLEM DOWNTOWN.

137
00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:47,815
A LONG-TIME COUNCILMAN HAS
JUST BEEN FORCED TO RESIGN

138
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:49,717
BECAUSE HE HAD ILLEGAL
DOMESTIC EMPLOYEES.

139
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:51,385
SO THE CITY ATTORNEY
HAS DEMANDED...

140
00:05:51,419 --> 00:05:53,721
REQUESTED THAT ALL
CITY COUNCIL PEOPLE

141
00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:56,857
SUBMIT PROPER DOCUMENTATION
FOR ALL THEIR, YOU KNOW...

142
00:05:57,825 --> 00:05:59,793
FOR ME?

143
00:05:59,827 --> 00:06:02,663
YEAH, I SNUCK OVER THE
BORDER TO GET THIS JOB.

144
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:05,433
WHAT, DO THEY THINK I SPENT
15 HOURS IN THE BACK OF A VAN

145
00:06:05,466 --> 00:06:06,834
TO LIVE LIKE A MOLE-MAN
IN YOUR BASEMENT?

146
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:09,136
I KNOW. IT'S COMPLETELY UNFAIR.

147
00:06:09,169 --> 00:06:11,171
NOBODY'S ASKING THE
MAYOR FOR HIS PAPERS.

148
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,740
IT'S JUST PLAIN WRONG.

149
00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:14,675
THAT'S WHAT I SHOULD'VE
SAID WHEN THEY CALLED ME.

150
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,644
THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN VERY BRAVE.

151
00:06:16,677 --> 00:06:19,680
GOD, I ADMIRE WHAT
YOU ALMOST SAID.

152
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:22,716
- ( phone beeps )
- THE OVEN'S PREHEATED.

153
00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:25,486
AND LISTEN, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, ALL
RIGHT? I WILL GET YOU THE PAPERS.

154
00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:27,688
- SEE? NO PROBLEM.
- WE NEED THEM BY FRIDAY.

155
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:28,956
THAT COULD BE A PROBLEM.

156
00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:32,493
PROBLEM? WHAT DO
YOU MEAN, PROBLEM?

157
00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:35,663
ALL RIGHT, 375° IN THE OVEN.

158
00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:38,165
45 MINUTES. AND BACK TO YOU.

159
00:06:38,198 --> 00:06:40,701
PROBLEM? WHAT DO
YOU MEAN, PROBLEM?

160
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:44,438
I'M JUST NOT EXACTLY SURE WHERE MY
BIRTH CERTIFICATE MIGHT PRECISELY BE.

161
00:06:44,472 --> 00:06:46,440
UH-HUH, UH-HUH, UH-HUH.

162
00:06:46,474 --> 00:06:47,975
WHERE'S YOUR PAPERS?

163
00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:49,977
SUBPOENAED, ALL RIGHT?

164
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:52,613
ALONG WITH EVERY OTHER PERSONAL AND
PROFESSIONAL DOCUMENT IN MY LIFE.

165
00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:55,649
AFTER A GLOBAL FINANCIAL SCANDAL
AND A LOVELY LITTLE DIVORCE,

166
00:06:55,683 --> 00:06:57,818
MY LIFE HAS BEEN STUFFED INTO
A SERIES OF CARDBOARD BOXES.

167
00:06:57,851 --> 00:07:00,454
IT HAS BEEN SO MUCH FUN.

168
00:07:00,488 --> 00:07:04,525
"OKAY, SO WHERE ARE THOSE BOXES NOW?"
SHE ASKED, CLOSE TO STRANGLING HIM.

169
00:07:04,558 --> 00:07:05,693
ONE OF SIX DIFFERENT PLACES,

170
00:07:05,726 --> 00:07:08,596
IF THEY'RE ANYWHERE AT ALL.

171
00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:11,565
JOE, WHEN THE CITY ATTORNEY
ASKS THE CITY COUNCIL PEOPLE

172
00:07:11,599 --> 00:07:12,933
TO SUBMIT DOCUMENTATION,
THAT'S BIG STUFF.

173
00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:14,635
WHAT THE HELL AM I
SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT IT?

174
00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:15,736
FIND THEM.

175
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:18,672
WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?
HOW CAN I HELP?

176
00:07:18,706 --> 00:07:20,474
OH MY GOD, I'M FEELING
LIGHT-HEADED.

177
00:07:20,508 --> 00:07:23,210
STEPHANIE, YOU NEED
TO GO LAY DOWN.

178
00:07:23,243 --> 00:07:24,778
YOU HAVE A COUCH AT
YOUR APARTMENT, RIGHT?

179
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:29,717
I JUST DON'T LIKE IT
WHEN YOU GUYS FIGHT.

180
00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:33,253
OKAY, WHAT ABOUT
WHERE YOU GREW UP?

181
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:35,689
I MEAN, EVEN NEW JERSEY HAS
A DEPARTMENT OF RECORDS.

182
00:07:35,723 --> 00:07:37,691
I'M SURE I CAN JUST
HAVE MY OFFICE CALL

183
00:07:37,725 --> 00:07:39,893
WHATEVER BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN
SONG TOWN YOU WERE BORN IN

184
00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:41,929
AND THEY'LL OVERNIGHT
THE RECORDS.

185
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:43,664
THEN YOU CAN GO BACK
TO YOUR LASAGNA

186
00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:46,634
AND NANNIES-OF-STEEL TRAINING.

187
00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:51,972
FIRST OF ALL, WATCH WHAT YOU
SAY ABOUT JERSEY, OKAY?

188
00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:53,741
AND SECONDLY, I
WASN'T BORN THERE.

189
00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:56,043
FINE. WHAT CITY? WHERE'S
THE PLAQUE THAT SAYS,

190
00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:58,979
"ON THIS SPOT THE MOST ANNOYING
PERSON I KNOW WAS BORN"?

191
00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:02,650
FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I WAS BORN
IN THE PROUD CITY OF UIJEONGBU.

192
00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:04,652
WEE-JAH-WHAT?

193
00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:06,787
IT'S IN KOREA, A
LITTLE NORTH OF SEOUL.

194
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,723
MY DAD WAS MILITARY, AND I WAS BORN
IN AN ARMY HOSPITAL IN UIJEONGBU.

195
00:08:09,757 --> 00:08:13,594
OKAY, YOU WERE BORN IN KOREA, YOU DON'T
HAVE ANY PAPERS AND YOU WORK FOR ME.

196
00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:14,762
OH MY GOD.

197
00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:16,997
I HAVE AN UNDOCUMENTED
KOREAN NANNY.

198
00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:20,801
AS HARD AS THIS MAY BE
FOR YOU TO BELIEVE,

199
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:23,637
I'M NOT KOREAN.

200
00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:26,840
AND I HAVE MY DOCUMENTS, OKAY?
I JUST DON'T HAVE THEM.

201
00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:29,009
OKAY, LET'S JUST
CALL YOUR MOTHER.

202
00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:30,711
I'M SURE SHE HAS
SOME BACKUP RECORDS.

203
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:31,645
MY MOM? YEAH.

204
00:08:31,679 --> 00:08:34,782
THE ONLY RECORDS SHE
HAS ARE SONNY & CHER,

205
00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:36,717
MAYBE THE BEE GEES.

206
00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:38,085
JOE, THIS IS SERIOUS, OKAY?

207
00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:40,721
IS IT POSSIBLE THAT
YOUR EX-WIFE HAS THEM?

208
00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:45,559
ALL RIGHT, FINE.
I'LL CALL TIFFANY,

209
00:08:45,593 --> 00:08:46,927
SEE IF SHE KNOWS.

210
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:49,697
SHE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT,
YOU KNOW, TRAVELING ABROAD

211
00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:51,565
TO TAHITI OR BARBADOS.
LOOK AT HER,

212
00:08:51,599 --> 00:08:54,301
GOING ALL AROUND THE WORLD, AND
I'M STUCK HERE IN YOUR KITCHEN

213
00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:55,803
SPINNING LETTUCE.

214
00:08:55,836 --> 00:08:57,905
MY JOB IS KIND OF AT STAKE HERE.

215
00:08:57,938 --> 00:09:00,808
SO COULD YOU GIVE ME A
SLIVER OF HOPE OF SOMETHING?

216
00:09:00,841 --> 00:09:04,778
THAT MIGHT BE THE BEST
LASAGNA I'VE EVER MADE.

217
00:09:14,822 --> 00:09:16,590
YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO BELIEVE THIS.

218
00:09:16,624 --> 00:09:18,959
YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.
GET READY TO NOT BELIEVE THIS.

219
00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:21,662
WOW, LOOK AT YOU ALL FIRED UP.

220
00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:23,664
YOU'RE LIKE A LITTLE ME.

221
00:09:23,697 --> 00:09:25,999
HEY YOU, YOU'RE GONNA
WANT TO HEAR THIS TOO.

222
00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:28,101
PRINCIPAL LUNT HAS DECIDED
THAT PHOEBE AND I

223
00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:30,003
CANNOT ATTEND SATURDAY'S
DANCE AS A GAY COUPLE.

224
00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:31,705
HA!

225
00:09:31,739 --> 00:09:33,941
THAT WAS A LAUGH OF
POLITICAL OUTRAGE.

226
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:36,009
OH, I'M GONNA FIGHT THIS.

227
00:09:36,043 --> 00:09:38,712
THEY HAVE MESSED WITH
THE WRONG LESBIAN.

228
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,815
YEAH, THE STRAIGHT ONE.

229
00:09:41,849 --> 00:09:43,717
COME ON, LENNOX.

230
00:09:43,751 --> 00:09:45,753
IT'S BEEN A MONTH WITH NO PHONE
CALLS FROM YOUR PRINCIPAL.

231
00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:47,120
KEEP THE STREAK ALIVE.

232
00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:49,389
I AM FIGHTING FOR MY GAY RIGHTS.

233
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,124
YOU DON'T HAVE ANY GAY RIGHTS

234
00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:53,761
UNTIL YOU EXPERIMENT IN COLLEGE.

235
00:09:56,697 --> 00:10:01,168
IS THIS REALLY THE HILL
THAT YOU WANT TO DIE ON?

236
00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:02,970
WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU GUYS ON?

237
00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:06,606
THE SIDE THAT KEEPS ME OFF
YOUR PRINCIPAL'S SPEED-DIAL.

238
00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:09,743
UGH!

239
00:10:09,777 --> 00:10:11,779
WOW, SHE'S SO MILITANT.

240
00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:13,747
THANKS FOR BEING ON
MY SIDE JUST THEN.

241
00:10:13,781 --> 00:10:15,115
SURE. IT'S THE LEAST I COULD DO,

242
00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:16,950
SORT OF MAKES US FOR WHAT
HAPPENED THIS AFTERNOON.

243
00:10:16,984 --> 00:10:19,386
GO ON.

244
00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:21,388
ALL RIGHT, A
REPORTER CORNERED ME

245
00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:23,190
WHEN I WAS AT THE
SUPERMARKET EARLIER TODAY.

246
00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:25,025
ANYWAY, HE KNEW THAT
I WORKED FOR YOU,

247
00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:27,828
KNEW I HADN'T FILED MY PAPERS...
A LITTLE WEASELY GUY IN A TIE.

248
00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:29,663
NOT JERRY DEVINE.

249
00:10:29,697 --> 00:10:31,665
YEAH, THAT SOUNDS RIGHT.

250
00:10:31,699 --> 00:10:34,434
ANYWAY, HE COMES UP TO
ME, HE SAYS, YOU KNOW,

251
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,704
"WHAT ARE YOU COVERING UP?
OBVIOUSLY YOU'RE AN AMERICAN."

252
00:10:36,737 --> 00:10:39,072
AND I'M LIKE, "OH REALLY? YOU CAN TELL
I'M AMERICAN JUST BY LOOKING AT ME?

253
00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:40,808
WELL, GUESS WHAT. I'M
FROM KOREA, PAL.

254
00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:42,342
HOW ABOUT THAT, YOU
MOUTHY FRAUD?"

255
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:45,779
I ACTUALLY SAID SOMETHING A BIT
STRONGER, BUT IT HAD THE SAME INITIALS.

256
00:10:45,813 --> 00:10:48,448
OKAY, JERRY HAS A
COLUMN EVERY FRIDAY.

257
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,083
HE'S GONNA TEAR ME APART.

258
00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:52,820
WHY DON'T YOU JUST BURN A
FLAG WHILE YOU'RE AT IT?

259
00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:55,088
I GOT A LITTLE HOT. WHAT
WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?

260
00:10:55,122 --> 00:10:57,725
STAND THERE QUIETLY
AND LOOK AMERICAN.

261
00:10:57,758 --> 00:10:59,793
RELAX, ALL RIGHT?
THERE'S GOOD NEWS TOO.

262
00:10:59,827 --> 00:11:02,930
TIFFANY GETS BACK IN THE MORNING AND
SHE'S SENDING OVER THE FILE BOXES.

263
00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:04,832
THE ONES THAT CONTAIN
YOUR BIRTH CERTIFICATE

264
00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:06,767
AND YOUR PROOF OF CITIZENSHIP AND
EVERYTHING THAT SAYS YOU'RE LEGAL?

265
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,936
ABSOLUTELY.

266
00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:10,771
VERY LIKELY.

267
00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:13,874
FINGERS CROSSED.

268
00:11:15,943 --> 00:11:17,911
DUANE, YOU'LL HAVE MR.
LONGO'S DOCUMENTS

269
00:11:17,945 --> 00:11:19,713
IN YOUR HAND TOMORROW
WITHOUT FAIL.

270
00:11:19,747 --> 00:11:20,881
PLEASURE AS ALWAYS,

271
00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:23,183
YOU SCUM-SUCKING LEECH.

272
00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:26,053
WOW, YOU HANDLED THAT WITHOUT
EVEN BREAKING A SWEAT.

273
00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:28,155
I NEED A DRY BLOUSE.

274
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:31,158
WELL, OUR CITY ATTORNEY
HAS JUST INFORMED ME

275
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:34,728
THAT I AM THE ONLY REMAINING COUNCILPERSON
THAT HAS YET TO FILE PAPERS.

276
00:11:34,762 --> 00:11:35,829
YOU'RE KIND OF LIKE A REBEL.

277
00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:39,266
YEAH, A REBEL WITHOUT A JOB.
THIS IS GETTING SERIOUS.

278
00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:42,269
WELL, WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN IF
WE CAN'T FIND JOE'S PAPERS?

279
00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:44,738
WELL, I'D HATE TO HAVE TO...

280
00:11:44,772 --> 00:11:46,006
YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE HE'S...

281
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,808
AND THE KIDS REALLY...

282
00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:49,209
AND EVEN I...

283
00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:51,178
I HATE THIS.

284
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,146
I MEAN, I KNOW JOE'S
THE GREATEST,

285
00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:56,917
BUT AT A CERTAIN POINT
DON'T YOU HAVE TO...

286
00:11:56,950 --> 00:11:59,019
I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN...

287
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:02,756
YOU CAN PRACTICE
BY FAKE-FIRING ME.

288
00:12:02,790 --> 00:12:04,925
OKAY, I'LL TRY.

289
00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:07,795
STEPHANIE, THIS IS NOT AN
EASY CONVERSATION TO HAVE.

290
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:10,764
OH MY GOD!

291
00:12:10,798 --> 00:12:13,867
THANKS. THANKS. THAT
WAS SUPER HELPFUL.

292
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,909
- JOE.
- KITCHEN.

293
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,813
( exhales )

294
00:12:29,216 --> 00:12:30,784
LOOK WHAT JUST GOT HERE.

295
00:12:30,818 --> 00:12:32,786
YOUR FILES! THIS IS GREAT.

296
00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:35,823
OH, NOW I DON'T HAVE TO...
DO ANYTHING ELSE.

297
00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:37,791
THEY'RE PRETTY
DISORGANIZED THOUGH.

298
00:12:37,825 --> 00:12:40,861
WHO CARES? WE'LL GO THROUGH THEM ALL.
HOW LONG COULD IT TAKE?

299
00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:43,931
FROM THE WAY YOU WERE TALKING, I
WAS EXPECTING A WHOLE LOT MORE.

300
00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:46,099
( chuckles )

301
00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:52,172
HOLY SON OF A BOX,
DOES THIS END?

302
00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:54,842
HEY, AUNT MEL, I'M ALREADY
ON MY SECOND BOX.

303
00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:57,577
I ZIPPED THROUGH THIS FIRST
ONE IN, LIKE, HALF AN HOUR.

304
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,880
WE'LL NEVER GET THROUGH
ALL THESE BY TOMORROW.

305
00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:02,816
LOOK, IF WE ALL PITCH IN,
WE CAN TOTALLY DO THIS.

306
00:13:02,850 --> 00:13:03,817
WHAT'S THE ALTERNATIVE?

307
00:13:03,851 --> 00:13:06,253
WELL...

308
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:08,355
I'LL TAKE THIS PILE.

309
00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:11,324
THAT'S WHY I LOVE WORKING FOR YOUR AUNT.
SHE STICKS UP FOR PEOPLE.

310
00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:15,228
YEP, I'M A STICKER-UPPER.

311
00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:31,044
ALL RIGHT, THIS ONE'S DONE.

312
00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:38,085
BURKE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I
JUST SAID THAT ONE WAS DONE.

313
00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:42,389
I THOUGHT YOU WERE SLIDING 'EM
OVER TO ME SO I COULD DO 'EM.

314
00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:46,026
WHAT? NO, I'VE BEEN SLIDING THEM OVER
TO YOU BECAUSE I'M DONE WITH THEM.

315
00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:47,995
THAT'S WHY THEY HAVE A BIG
RED CHECK MARK ON THEM.

316
00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:50,864
I THOUGHT THE CHECK MEANT,
"HEY, CHECK THIS BOX OUT."

317
00:13:50,898 --> 00:13:53,934
I JUST DID THIS WHOLE
PILE FOR NOTHING?

318
00:13:56,904 --> 00:13:59,940
OH, LENNOX BABY.

319
00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:02,209
COME ON, GO TO BED. GO TO BED.

320
00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:05,345
I HAVE PAPER CUTS ON MY FACE.

321
00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:10,650
I LASTED LONGER THAN RYDER.

322
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:14,154
YES, YOU DID. YOU DID
A GOOD GOOD JOB.

323
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,623
- HERE IT IS.
- FANTASTIC.

324
00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:19,159
I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR
THIS THING FOR 20 YEARS.

325
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:22,262
THIS IS A PICTURE OF FIVE SCRAWNY
BOYS ROASTING MARSHMALLOWS.

326
00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:24,998
YEAH, ME AND MY BUNKMATES FROM
CAMP ARROWHEAD, CABIN 12.

327
00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:27,901
LENNY SHILCOP RIGHT THERE COULD
TURN HIS EYELIDS INSIDE OUT.

328
00:14:27,935 --> 00:14:29,937
THOSE WERE GOOD TIMES.

329
00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:33,406
I NEED TO GO HOME AND GIVE
MY DAD A SPONGE BATH.

330
00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:36,944
HE'S NOT SICK, JUST LAZY.

331
00:14:41,949 --> 00:14:44,884
SO ARE YOU GOING TO, YOU KNOW...

332
00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:48,922
I HOPE HE TAKES IT
BETTER THAN I DID.

333
00:14:50,357 --> 00:14:51,992
HAVE FUN CLEANING YOUR DAD.

334
00:14:57,364 --> 00:14:59,466
- JOE.
- YEAH, WHAT ARE WE LOOKING FOR AGAIN?

335
00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:01,935
YOUR PROOF OF
CITIZENSHIP PAPERS.

336
00:15:01,969 --> 00:15:04,271
YES, ABSOLUTELY. GOOD. OKAY.

337
00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:06,473
UM, LISTEN, JOE, IT'S...

338
00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:09,476
THIS IS NOT AN EASY
CONVERSATION TO HAVE...

339
00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:12,079
I GOT 'EM! I GOT 'EM!
I FOUND YOUR PAPERS.

340
00:15:12,112 --> 00:15:15,148
- I'M LEGAL.
- AND YOU'VE GOT THE CUTEST LITTLE FOOTPRINT.

341
00:15:15,182 --> 00:15:16,683
- WHERE DID YOU FIND THESE?
- I LOOKED OUT MY WINDOW

342
00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:19,219
AND I SPOTTED A BOX LEFT
OUT ON THE DRIVEWAY.

343
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:21,254
RYDER, I COULD KISS YOU.
I WILL KISS YOU.

344
00:15:21,288 --> 00:15:22,990
HEY HEY, BACK UP.

345
00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:26,059
OKAY, A HUG.

346
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:30,130
ALL RIGHT. TAKE THAT,
REPORTER SCUM.

347
00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:32,199
TAKE THAT, CITY ATTORNEY WEASEL.

348
00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:33,733
YEAH, TAKE THAT
DOWN TO CITY HALL.

349
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:36,703
YES. YES. GOING. GOOD.

350
00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:39,072
GO GET READY FOR SCHOOL, DUDE.

351
00:15:39,106 --> 00:15:41,975
YOU'RE GONNA DRIVE ON NO SLEEP?
IS THAT SAFE?

352
00:15:42,009 --> 00:15:45,178
WE'VE GOT AIRBAGS, MAN.
THEY'RE LIKE BIG PILLOWS.

353
00:15:46,213 --> 00:15:50,717
( phone buzzes )

354
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:53,086
HELLO. HEY MOM, HOW ARE YA?

355
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:54,154
OH, LISTEN, MOM, GREAT NEWS.

356
00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:56,323
YOU KNOW THE DOCUMENTS I
NEED YOU TO FIND FOR ME?

357
00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:59,392
WELL, YOU DON'T NEED TO LOOK ANY
FURTHER 'CAUSE WE FOUND THEM. YEAH.

358
00:15:59,426 --> 00:16:01,261
WHAT?

359
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,130
( knocks on door )

360
00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:04,264
ONE SECOND.

361
00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:10,537
COME IN.

362
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:13,106
HEY BUDDY, WHAT'S GOING ON, HUH?

363
00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:14,474
WHAT'S NEW IN YOUR WORLD?

364
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:18,545
WHATCHA BEEN PRINTING LATELY?

365
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:20,313
NOTHING.

366
00:16:20,347 --> 00:16:22,415
JOE, SHOULDN'T WE
BE GOING TO SCHOOL?

367
00:16:22,449 --> 00:16:25,452
FUNNIEST THING, YOU KNOW... I WAS
TALKING TO MY MOM THE OTHER DAY

368
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:28,421
AND I TOLD HER IT WAS REALLY IMPORTANT
THAT I FIND MY CITIZENSHIP DOCUMENT.

369
00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:32,359
AND GUESS WHAT SHE FOUND THIS MORNING
IN HER GARAGE NEXT TO HER OLD 45s?

370
00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:34,427
YOUR MOM HAS GUNS?

371
00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:36,329
YES, SHE DOES.

372
00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:38,065
BUT I WAS TALKING
ABOUT THE PAPER.

373
00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:41,568
SHE FOUND IT... THE ONLY COPY.
AND IT'LL BE HERE TOMORROW.

374
00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:43,470
SO YOU CAN IMAGINE MY SURPRISE

375
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:46,406
WHEN YOU JUST FOUND SOMETHING
THAT DOESN'T ACTUALLY EXIST.

376
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:48,475
( laughing )

377
00:16:51,478 --> 00:16:54,581
YEAH, WHAT'S THIS?

378
00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:57,050
WOW, LOOK AT THAT.

379
00:16:57,084 --> 00:16:59,486
WOW, THIS MUST BE ONE
OF THE EARLIER DRAFTS.

380
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:03,456
SEEMS LIKE THIS ONE WAS ISSUED BY
THE GREAT STATE OF NOW JERSEY.

381
00:17:03,490 --> 00:17:05,558
I HAVE TO GO STOP THIS.

382
00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:09,329
YOUR AUNT COULD GET IN SERIOUS TROUBLE
FOR PASSING FRAUDULENT DOCUMENTS, DUDE.

383
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,464
I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP.

384
00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:14,301
LOOK, I KNOW THIS CAME
FROM A GOOD PLACE, OKAY?

385
00:17:14,334 --> 00:17:16,569
AND IT ACTUALLY MEANS THE WORLD
TO ME THAT YOU DID THIS 'CAUSE...

386
00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:18,471
YEAH. GO SAVE HER, ALL RIGHT?

387
00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:20,373
WELL, I... OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

388
00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:26,213
GOOD MORNING.

389
00:17:26,246 --> 00:17:29,449
GENTLEMEN, LADIES, COUNCILWOMAN
BURKE AND THE CITY ATTORNEY

390
00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:31,384
HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT
FOR ALL OF YOU.

391
00:17:31,418 --> 00:17:33,620
I AM PLEASED TO FINALLY BE
HANDING OVER THESE DOCUMENTS

392
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:37,290
TO OUR CITY ATTORNEY, CERTIFYING
THAT MY DOMESTIC EMPLOYEE,

393
00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:39,626
WHO IS HERE RIGHT
NOW STRANGELY...

394
00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:41,228
HI.

395
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:42,529
JOE.

396
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:45,598
THE NANNY.

397
00:17:45,632 --> 00:17:47,867
HOW YOU GUYS DOING?

398
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:51,238
THERE IS OF COURSE NO NEED
FOR HIM TO ACTUALLY BE HERE.

399
00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:53,373
I TRIED TO CALL YOUR CELL
PHONE, BUT IT WAS TURNED OFF.

400
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:54,874
- A VERY BAD TIME.
- IT'S VERY IMPORTANT.

401
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:57,544
YES, SO IS THIS. THAT'S
WHY THERE'S CAMERAS HERE.

402
00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:59,446
THE KIDS KNEW HOW DESPERATE
I WAS TO FIND MY PAPERS...

403
00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:00,613
OKAY, REDUCE IT TO THREE WORDS.

404
00:18:00,647 --> 00:18:04,351
RYDER, PHOTOSHOP, FELONY.

405
00:18:04,384 --> 00:18:07,254
GOT IT.

406
00:18:07,287 --> 00:18:09,589
BURKE, I GOT MEETINGS. CAN WE
JUST TAKE THE PICTURES AND GO?

407
00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:13,893
AND ALTHOUGH THESE PAPERS PROVE
BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT

408
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:18,131
THE LEGALITY OF MY ESTEEMED
EMPLOYEE, JOSEPH LONGO, AMERICAN...

409
00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:20,400
- WHERE ARE WE GOING WITH THIS?
- ANYBODY'S GUESS.

410
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:23,670
...I OBJECT TO SINGLING OUT
A FEW HARD-WORKING PEOPLE

411
00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:26,573
WHOSE ONLY REAL TRANSGRESSION IS
THEIR LACK OF POLITICAL CLOUT.

412
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:29,542
TURNING IN THESE PAPERS WOULD
BE CAPITULATING TO UNFAIRNESS.

413
00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:31,544
YOU'RE NOT GIVING ME
THE PAPERS, ARE YOU?

414
00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:33,380
THIS IS WHERE YOU
GIVE HIM THE PAPERS.

415
00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:35,548
I SAY NO WAY IN HECK.

416
00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:40,387
YOU WILL NEVER GET THESE PAPERS.

417
00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:42,555
DON'T MAKE ME SUBPOENA YOUR BRA.

418
00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:45,425
I WILL TAKE YOUR QUESTIONS NOW.

419
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:48,161
IS IT TRUE YOUR NIECE IS BANNED
FROM THE GRANT HIGH SCHOOL DANCE

420
00:18:48,195 --> 00:18:50,297
BECAUSE SHE IS PART
OF A GAY COUPLE?

421
00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:52,499
WHAT?

422
00:18:52,532 --> 00:18:55,602
IF YOUR NIECE MARRIES THIS GIRL,
WILL YOU ATTEND THE WEDDING?

423
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:58,438
THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED TO ASK?
THIS IS WHY YOU'RE ALL HERE?

424
00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:00,573
- YES.
- OH, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

425
00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:02,542
NONE OF YOU CARE ABOUT THIS
WHOLE CITIZENSHIP THING?

426
00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:04,911
OLD NEWS. IF YOUR NIECE AND
HER WIFE HAVE CHILDREN,

427
00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:06,579
WILL THEY BE WELCOME
IN YOUR HOME?

428
00:19:06,613 --> 00:19:08,381
OH, THIS IS IDIOTIC.

429
00:19:08,415 --> 00:19:10,283
ALL RIGHT, LENNOX IS NOT GAY.

430
00:19:14,521 --> 00:19:16,623
IT DOESN'T MEAN WE LOVE
HER ANY LESS THOUGH.

431
00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:22,595
LOOK, BURKE, I'M GONNA
NEED THIS GUY'S PAPERS.

432
00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:25,432
THOSE AREN'T REAL...

433
00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:26,399
THE PAPERS.

434
00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:29,436
YOU'LL HAVE THE REAL
ONES IN THE MORNING.

435
00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:31,538
TOMORROW MORNING?

436
00:19:31,571 --> 00:19:33,673
YOU KNOW WHAT? I COULD
PROBABLY MAKE THAT WORK.

437
00:19:33,706 --> 00:19:36,676
YEAH, THAT'S FINE.

438
00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:42,549
HEY, I AM SORRY THAT
MY MESSY PERSONAL LIFE

439
00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:44,217
CAUSED YOU SO MUCH
TROUBLE HERE AT WORK.

440
00:19:44,251 --> 00:19:46,519
THAT'S OKAY. YOU KNOW,
WHAT REALLY GOT ME UPSET

441
00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:49,656
WAS THE THOUGHT OF LOSING YOU...
YOUTH VOTES.

442
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:53,226
YEAH, YOU KNOW, FOR THE
THE REELECTION NEXT YEAR.

443
00:19:53,260 --> 00:19:55,628
YEAH, NO, THE YOUTH VOTE
COULD BE VERY FICKLE.

444
00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:57,330
YOU DEFINITELY WANT TO
HOLD ON TO THAT ONE.

445
00:19:57,364 --> 00:19:58,698
YEAH, YOU DO. YOU DO.

446
00:19:58,731 --> 00:20:02,235
SO THANKS FOR RIDING
TO THE RESCUE.

447
00:20:02,269 --> 00:20:03,636
NO, LISTEN, IT WAS THE
LEAST I COULD DO.

448
00:20:03,670 --> 00:20:05,238
I MEAN, YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST...

449
00:20:05,272 --> 00:20:06,539
I KNOW.

450
00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:08,641
OKAY, ALL RIGHT. WELL...

451
00:20:08,675 --> 00:20:11,611
- OH, YOU WANTED TO... YOU WANT...
- NO...

452
00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:13,346
OKAY.

453
00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:15,582
- I'LL SEE YOU AT HOME.
- I'LL SEE YOU AT HOME.

454
00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:17,617
- OKAY.
- HERE, BLOW IT UP.

455
00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:32,799
SO YOU OUTED ME?

456
00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:34,567
AS STRAIGHT?

457
00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:37,270
GO AWAY.

458
00:20:37,304 --> 00:20:40,640
YOUR INSENSITIVE REMARK JUST COST
ME ALL OF MY CRED AT SCHOOL.

459
00:20:40,673 --> 00:20:43,410
I WAS THE REBEL
POLITICAL LESBIAN.

460
00:20:43,443 --> 00:20:45,545
EVERYBODY WANTED TO TALK TO ME.

461
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:49,349
AND NOW, POOF... I'M
JUST ANOTHER GIRL.

462
00:20:49,382 --> 00:20:51,284
SO ARE YOU GOING TO GO TO
THE SCHOOL DANCE TOMORROW?

463
00:20:51,318 --> 00:20:54,587
BECAUSE JOE'S GONNA HAVE TO DRIVE YOU.
I HAVE A WORK THING.

464
00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:57,524
WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME
TODAY DOESN'T UPSET YOU?

465
00:20:57,557 --> 00:20:59,692
I'M NOT GONNA LIE, HONEY.

466
00:20:59,726 --> 00:21:02,695
IT'S LIKE...

467
00:21:02,729 --> 00:21:04,497
NOTHING.

468
00:21:04,531 --> 00:21:08,401
I MEAN, I'M SORRY AND
ALL, BUT, YOU KNOW...

469
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:11,738
FINE.

470
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:14,040
CAN YOU TAKE PHOEBE TOO?

471
00:21:14,073 --> 00:21:16,609
I'D BE GLAD TO, YEAH.

472
00:21:16,643 --> 00:21:19,412
UGH!

473
00:21:19,446 --> 00:21:20,913
NICELY DONE, BURKE.

474
00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:23,816
YOU ACTED LIKE YOU DIDN'T CARE AND
YOU FORCED HER TO CALM HERSELF DOWN.

475
00:21:23,850 --> 00:21:26,386
YEAH,

476
00:21:26,419 --> 00:21:28,621
THAT'S WHAT I DID.

477
00:21:33,693 --> 00:21:35,695
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