1
00:00:06,574 --> 00:00:08,008
"MELISSA & JOEY" IS RECORDED

2
00:00:08,042 --> 00:00:10,644
IN FRONT OF A LIVE
STUDIO AUDIENCE.

3
00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:13,647
HEY, AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO TURN
THE POWER OFF BEFORE YOU DO THAT?

4
00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:15,449
- WHAT AM I, A GIRL?
- ( zaps )

5
00:00:15,483 --> 00:00:17,518
OW!

6
00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:20,788
- IT'S NOTHING.
- IF YOU HAD HAIR, IT'D BE STANDING UP.

7
00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:23,691
( laughing )

8
00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:28,629
- HI.
- YEAH, WE'RE JUST GONNA BE...

9
00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:31,732
- YOU KNOW.
- ( laughing )

10
00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:35,503
DID YOU SEE THAT?
DID YOU SEE THAT?

11
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,671
I CAN ALREADY TELL YOU
REALLY LIKE THEM.

12
00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:39,307
AND DID YOU SEE ALL
THOSE PIERCINGS?

13
00:00:39,340 --> 00:00:41,642
I'M PRETTY SURE I COULD HEAR THE
WIND WHISTLING THROUGH THEM.

14
00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:44,545
AND THEY NEVER SAY HELLO. HOW
COME THEY NEVER SAY HELLO?

15
00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:47,047
BECAUSE THEY'RE TEENAGERS.
THAT'S WHAT THEY DON'T DO.

16
00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:49,417
YOU'RE ALSO NOT ALLOWED TO SIT
AT THEIR LUNCH TABLE EITHER.

17
00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:51,452
ALL RIGHT, WELL, I'M NOT
GONNA PUT UP WITH IT.

18
00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:53,221
I'M GOING UP TO LENNOX'S
ROOM RIGHT NOW.

19
00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:55,723
AND LECTURE HER IN FRONT OF HER FRIENDS?
THAT'LL BE REALLY EFFECTIVE.

20
00:00:55,756 --> 00:00:58,259
- WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?
- YOU'RE ASKING ME?

21
00:00:58,292 --> 00:01:00,294
- I DON'T HAVE KIDS.
- NEITHER DO I.

22
00:01:00,328 --> 00:01:02,296
THEY WERE ABANDONED
BY MY SISTER.

23
00:01:02,330 --> 00:01:05,733
( huffs ) THAT WAS MY BIG
MISTAKE: HAVING A SISTER.

24
00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:07,735
RELAX, ALL RIGHT?
LENNOX IS A GOOD GIRL.

25
00:01:07,768 --> 00:01:10,238
YEAH, BUT I'M JUST WORRIED.
WHEN I WAS HER AGE,

26
00:01:10,271 --> 00:01:11,605
IF SOMEONE TOLD ME NOT TO DO IT,

27
00:01:11,639 --> 00:01:14,608
I WOULD SMOKE IT,
DRINK IT OR DATE IT.

28
00:01:14,642 --> 00:01:18,279
YES, WE KNOW. WHEN YOU GRADUATED
HIGH SCHOOL THEY RETIRED YOUR THONG.

29
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:23,751
LOOK, THE FRIENDS YOU HAVE IN HIGH SCHOOL
ARE CRITICAL. GOOD FRIENDS INSPIRE YOU.

30
00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:27,555
BAD FRIENDS TEACH YOU HOW TO REPLACE
YOUR DAD'S SCOTCH WITH ICED TEA.

31
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:30,291
MEL, I SERIOUSLY DOUBT ALL THE
POOR CHOICES YOU MADE IN LIFE

32
00:01:30,324 --> 00:01:33,361
- WERE BECAUSE YOU HAD A BAD FRIEND.
- I DIDN'T HAVE A BAD FRIEND.

33
00:01:33,394 --> 00:01:35,796
I WAS THE BAD FRIEND.

34
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♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK ♪

35
00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:41,369
♪ WITH ME ♪

36
00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:48,742
HEY YOU. SURPRISE.

37
00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:51,612
- WHAT'S WITH THAT?
- LAST TIME I WORE IT, YOU SAID YOU LIKED IT

38
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:55,249
- SO I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANT IT.
- OH, IT'S SO PRETTY.

39
00:01:55,283 --> 00:01:57,585
DOES IT COME WITH AN AGENDA?

40
00:01:57,618 --> 00:02:00,488
A LITTLE BIT. THERE'S A
PARTY TONIGHT AT CITY HALL

41
00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:03,257
THAT IS GONNA BE OFF DA HOOK.

42
00:02:03,291 --> 00:02:06,627
ANYWAY, THERE'S GONNA BE
A BUNCH OF YOUNG PEOPLE

43
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:08,596
AND SINCE YOU'RE A
YOUNG PEOPLE...

44
00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:11,432
THERE'S GONNA BE MUSIC.
CUTE BOYS?

45
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,201
PROBABLY SUSHI.

46
00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:16,737
SURE... IF I CAN
BORROW SOME SHOES.

47
00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:20,341
LIKE MAYBE THOSE RED PEEP-TOES YOU SAID
YOU'D DIE BEFORE YOU'D LET ME WEAR?

48
00:02:20,374 --> 00:02:22,810
( forced laugh ) OKAY.

49
00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:24,345
COOL.

50
00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:28,582
BUT PANTYHOSE ARE A MUST!
CLEAN FEET, NOT TEEN FEET!

51
00:02:28,616 --> 00:02:31,619
- VERY SUBTLE, PUPPETMASTER.
- WHAT?

52
00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:34,154
IN THE OLD COUNTRY WHEN
MARRIAGES WERE ARRANGED,

53
00:02:34,188 --> 00:02:36,690
THERE WAS AN EXCHANGE
OF BEADS AND LIVESTOCK.

54
00:02:36,724 --> 00:02:38,892
THIS IS JUST BE A FUN EVENT
WITH THE ADDED BENEFIT

55
00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:41,362
THAT MAYBE LENNOX CAN
MAKE A FEW NEW FRIENDS.

56
00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:44,798
ONES THAT CAN'T BE CONVENIENTLY
THREADED TOGETHER.

57
00:02:51,539 --> 00:02:55,443
UH, YOU SAID SUSHI. I LIKE SUSHI.
WHAT IS THIS?

58
00:02:55,476 --> 00:02:57,645
IT'S PIGS IN A BLANKET.

59
00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,880
OH, MMM.

60
00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:02,650
IT'S E. COLI IN A BLANKET.
GIVE ME THAT.

61
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:04,752
DON'T EVER EAT THOSE EVER.

62
00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:06,720
THIS IS ACTUALLY AWESOME.

63
00:03:06,754 --> 00:03:08,789
IT'S THE BEST FUNERAL
I'VE EVER BEEN TO.

64
00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:11,692
ARE YOU KIDDING? THIS IS
A VERY EXCITING EVENING.

65
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:14,495
THEY'RE GIVING PUBLIC SERVICE AWARDS
TO THE "FUTURE LEADERS OF TOLEDO,"

66
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OR AS THEY'RE KNOWN, THE FLOTS.

67
00:03:17,265 --> 00:03:20,668
THEY USED TO BE CALLED THE
"TOLEADERS," BUT THEY WERE MOCKED.

68
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:23,804
- NO, REALLY?
- GO, MIX, MINGLE.

69
00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:27,608
OH, SO THAT'S YOUR GAME. YOU'RE
PIMPING ME OUT TO NERDS.

70
00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:29,777
THIS IS A NICE GROUP
OF CIVIC-MINDED,

71
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:32,446
CLEAN-CUT, OPTIMISTIC TEENS.

72
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SO YES, NERDS.

73
00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:37,351
BUT SOME OF THESE NERDS ARE HOT...
ISH.

74
00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:41,555
YEAH, SUPER FOXY. I'M
GONNA CALL A CAB.

75
00:03:41,589 --> 00:03:44,692
HI, ACCORDING TO THIS
DORKY NAMETAG, I'M BRETT.

76
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:48,396
YOU MUST BE... "BITE ME."

77
00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:50,964
I'M LENNOX. MY AUNT
DRAGGED ME HERE.

78
00:03:50,998 --> 00:03:53,601
MEL BURKE, REPRESENTATIVE
FOR THE 7th DISTRICT

79
00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:55,769
AND OFFICIAL NIECE-DRAGGER.

80
00:03:55,803 --> 00:03:58,372
AND THE ENGINE BEHIND FUNDING FOR
THE TWO NEW ANIMAL SHELTERS.

81
00:03:58,406 --> 00:04:00,374
YES, I MIGHT BE THAT ENGINE.

82
00:04:00,408 --> 00:04:02,743
OH GOOD, I THOUGHT THEY WERE
ALL GONNA BE RAGING GEEKS.

83
00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:06,614
SO HAS THE DECISION BEEN MADE WHETHER
OR NOT THESE WILL BE NO-KILL SHELTERS?

84
00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:09,283
THAT IS A VERY ASTUTE
AND HANDSOME QUESTION.

85
00:04:09,317 --> 00:04:11,352
BUT I WILL HAVE TO GET
BACK TO YOU ON THAT LATER

86
00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:13,587
BECAUSE I'M ACTUALLY WAITING
TO TALK TO THE MAYOR

87
00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:15,756
IF ONLY THOSE
BUTT-KISSING BROWN-NOSING

88
00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:18,659
ASS... OCIATES OF MINE BACK OFF.

89
00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:21,495
- LET ME HELP YOU WITH THAT. HEY, MAYOR, GET OVER HERE!
- WHAT?

90
00:04:21,529 --> 00:04:23,431
- NO... OH MY GOSH.
- WHAT ARE YOU YELLING AT?

91
00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:25,466
UH, I'M SORRY, SIR.
SHOULD I CALL SECURITY?

92
00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:28,769
- NO, I THINK I CAN HANDLE HIM.
- DAD, MS. BURKE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU.

93
00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:31,805
OH, YOU'RE HIS DAD!

94
00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:35,476
OF COURSE. BECAUSE A PERSON CAN
BE BOTH A MAYOR AND A DAD,

95
00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:37,978
AND IN THAT CASE THAT
WOULD BE YOU, MAYOR DAD.

96
00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:40,614
- I'LL INTRODUCE YOU AROUND.
- SO NOW THAT I HAVE YOUR EAR,

97
00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:42,783
I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT A
CRITICAL HEALTH INITIATIVE...

98
00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:45,719
LIGHTEN UP, COUNCILWOMAN,
THIS IS A PARTY.

99
00:04:45,753 --> 00:04:47,655
FORGET ABOUT WORK...

100
00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:50,424
AND EX-WIVES AND ALIMONY.

101
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:53,794
ENJOY YOURSELF.

102
00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:56,664
SO I'M PROPOSING A MOBILE CLINIC
TO BRING FREE DENTAL CARE

103
00:04:56,697 --> 00:04:59,800
TO DOWNTOWN TOLEDO. I LIKE
TO CALL IT THE SMILEMOBILE.

104
00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:01,335
LOOK AT THAT.

105
00:05:01,369 --> 00:05:03,003
THE KIDS ARE HITTING IT OFF.

106
00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:07,307
THOSE ARE TOMORROW'S
TOLEADERS...

107
00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:09,743
TODAY.

108
00:05:09,777 --> 00:05:11,679
FILLS YOU WITH HOPE, DOESN'T IT?

109
00:05:11,712 --> 00:05:13,947
YUP, I AM COVERED IN HOPE BUMPS.

110
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:16,316
OH, THANK YOU.

111
00:05:16,350 --> 00:05:18,386
OH.

112
00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:20,621
I JUST SAVED YOUR LIFE.

113
00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,961
WHAT WAS THAT, LIKE FIVE MILES?

114
00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:30,398
FIVE MINUTES.

115
00:05:30,431 --> 00:05:33,567
GIVE IT TO ME IN TERMS
I CAN UNDERSTAND.

116
00:05:33,601 --> 00:05:37,070
HOW MANY COOKIES CAN I EAT NOW?

117
00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:43,544
LET'S GO.

118
00:05:43,577 --> 00:05:45,446
MRS. GELLER, HELLO.

119
00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:48,949
HELLO, MEL. MY, I
HAVEN'T SEEN YOU

120
00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:52,920
SINCE THAT INCIDENT WITH THE
ELECTION SIGN ON MY LAWN.

121
00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:55,989
MRS. GELLER, I WAS NOT
REMOVING MY OPPONENT'S SIGN;

122
00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:58,091
IT BLEW OVER IN THE WIND.

123
00:05:58,125 --> 00:06:01,529
THE WIND WHICH YOU
CREATED BY KICKING IT?

124
00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:03,431
HI, MRS. GELLER.

125
00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:06,333
- YOU LIVE ACROSS THE STREET, REMEMBER?
- I KNOW THAT.

126
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,969
- I'M MEETING MY DATE.
- UH-HUH, UH-HUH.

127
00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:11,639
I'M GOING TO CALL YOUR
DAUGHTER ELLEN RIGHT NOW.

128
00:06:11,672 --> 00:06:14,007
OOOH, THERE'S MY YOUNG MAN!

129
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:17,678
WHO'S CRAZY NOW?

130
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:19,913
WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BLAST TONIGHT, MRS.
GELLER.

131
00:06:19,947 --> 00:06:22,550
HEY, WHAT'S WITH YOUR
GREAT-GRAND-COUGAR?

132
00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:26,420
THE SCHOOL HAS THIS DUMB RULE
THAT IN ORDER TO "GRADUATE"

133
00:06:26,454 --> 00:06:29,356
I NEED 40 HOURS OF COMMUNITY
SERVICE BY THE END OF THE TERM.

134
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,959
WHICH IS MONDAY. MRS.
GELLER'S DAUGHTER NEEDED

135
00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:34,595
SOMEONE TO KEEP HER COMPANY
WHILE SHE WENT TO VEGAS.

136
00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:37,130
SINCE SHE'S GOING TO BE STAYING FOR
DINNER, I'LL SET ANOTHER PLATE.

137
00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:39,132
OH, I NEED 40 HOURS.
SHE'S HERE TILL MONDAY.

138
00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:41,068
OH, LUCKY US.

139
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:44,705
COME ON, MRS. G, YOU PROMISED YOU'D
TEACH ME HOW TO PLAY PINOCHLE.

140
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:47,508
HOPEFULLY IT'S MORE
FUN THAN IT SOUNDS.

141
00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:49,042
IT'S NOT.

142
00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:53,781
- I'M GOING TO THE MALL.
- WAIT... WAIT A SECOND.

143
00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:56,083
I DON'T THINK I LIKE THE IDEA OF
YOU WANDERING AROUND AIMLESSLY

144
00:06:56,116 --> 00:06:57,685
WITH YOUR COLORFUL
GROUP OF FRIENDS.

145
00:06:57,718 --> 00:07:00,488
AS IT HAPPENS, I'LL BE
WANDERING AROUND AIMLESSLY

146
00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:02,089
WITH BRETT AND THE OTHER FLOTS.

147
00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:04,558
OH, THEN FANTASTIC.

148
00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:07,695
GO, WANDER SUCCESSFULLY.
FLOT TILL YOU DROP.

149
00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:09,429
WILL DO.

150
00:07:14,902 --> 00:07:17,404
OOH, SMELLS DELICIOUS!
BANANAS FOSTER?

151
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,673
BACK OFF MY BANANA, LADY.

152
00:07:19,707 --> 00:07:23,577
THESE ARE PERSONAL CONSUMPTION ONLY.
FIRE IN THE HOLE, EVERYBODY.

153
00:07:23,611 --> 00:07:26,747
WHOO... WHOA! WHOO!

154
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:29,783
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!
YEAH.

155
00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:31,719
WHOO!

156
00:07:33,654 --> 00:07:35,589
- GOOD NIGHT.
- HEY... HEY HEY HEY, WAIT.

157
00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:38,091
COME BACK OVER HERE. SO
HOW DID EVERYTHING GO

158
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:39,960
WITH THOSE CRAZY COOL FLOT KIDS?

159
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:41,662
COME ON, GIRLFRIEND, SHARE.

160
00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:43,797
I JUST, YOU KNOW,

161
00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:45,666
I DIDN'T FIT IN. GOOD NIGHT.

162
00:07:45,699 --> 00:07:47,100
WHOA WHOA, MAYBE NOT RIGHT AWAY,

163
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:49,570
BUT YOU SHOULD GIVE THOSE
KIDS ANOTHER CHANCE.

164
00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:51,572
MAYBE START A WICKED
COOL STUDY GROUP.

165
00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:53,741
BURKE, YOU KNOW THAT LINE
THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO CROSS?

166
00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:56,710
IT'S RIGHT THERE BEHIND YOU. SO
JUST SCOOCH BACK A LITTLE BIT.

167
00:07:56,744 --> 00:08:00,614
THEY JUST AREN'T THE KIND OF PEOPLE
I'M INTERESTED IN SPENDING TIME WITH.

168
00:08:00,648 --> 00:08:02,449
LENNOX, THAT IS SO JUDGMENTAL.

169
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,518
YOU SHOULD BE OPEN TO
TRYING NEW THINGS.

170
00:08:04,552 --> 00:08:06,554
REALLY REALLY? LIKE
DRINKING AND DRUGS?

171
00:08:06,587 --> 00:08:09,256
FINE, AUNT MEL, NEXT TIME I'LL
STICK AROUND FOR A SHOT AND A HIT.

172
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,871
"SHOT" "HIT"? OKAY, WHAT
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

173
00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:27,207
I WANT DETAILS...
NAMES, PLACES, TIMES.

174
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:31,178
WELL, AFTER THE MALL, A BUNCH
OF THOSE CRAZY COOL FLOT KIDS

175
00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:33,180
WANTED TO GET DRUNK AND HIGH.

176
00:08:33,213 --> 00:08:34,948
OH MY GOSH, WHAT ABOUT BRETT?

177
00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:37,117
- OH, HE WAS PRETTY UPSET...
- GOOD.

178
00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:40,087
...BECAUSE HE BROUGHT ALL THE
BEER AND NOBODY PAID HIM BACK.

179
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:42,690
AND THEN HE GOT PISSED BECAUSE
I DIDN'T WANT TO DRINK.

180
00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:45,158
OH, HE'S GONNA GET
PAID BACK ALL RIGHT.

181
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,728
SO I CALLED A CAB.

182
00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:50,898
- WAS I WRONG?
- NO! YOU WERE VERY VERY RIGHT.

183
00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:53,901
- SO GOOD NIGHT?
- YES, GOOD NIGHT.

184
00:08:56,837 --> 00:08:58,806
OKAY, SO HERE'S MY PLAN:
STEP ONE, FIND BOY.

185
00:08:58,839 --> 00:09:00,774
STEP TWO, BEAT BOY SENSELESS.

186
00:09:00,808 --> 00:09:04,812
STEP THREE, ENJOY THE SATISFACTION
OF STEPS ONE AND TWO.

187
00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:07,114
YEAH, I HAVE AN
EVEN SIMPLER PLAN.

188
00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:09,617
LET BOY HANG WITH HIS CROWD AND
BE GLAD LENNOX DIDN'T WANT

189
00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:11,284
- TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THEM.
- WHAT?

190
00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:13,854
THIS LITTLE DWEEB OFFERS A
15-YEAR-OLD DRUGS AND ALCOHOL

191
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,723
- AND HE'S GONNA GET AWAY WITH IT?
- NOTHING HAPPENED.

192
00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:17,725
LENNOX TOOK CARE OF HERSELF.
THIS IS A GOOD THING.

193
00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:19,559
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
THIS GUY IS STILL OUT THERE.

194
00:09:19,593 --> 00:09:23,063
OUT THERE WHAT? OFFERING
GIRLS BEER THEY CAN REFUSE?

195
00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:25,198
I'M PROTECTING LENNOX,
BUT I SEE YOU HAVE A LOT

196
00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:27,768
OF OTHER THINGS GOING ON
HERE, LIKE WORK AND STUFF.

197
00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:30,638
WAIT, SO YOU THINK I'M BACKING OFF
BECAUSE HE'S THE MAYOR'S SON?

198
00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:32,305
- IS THAT SOMETHING THAT I SHOULD THINK?
- NO!

199
00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:35,075
THIS IS THE WAY I'D HANDLE THE
SITUATION WITH ANYONE'S SON.

200
00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:36,910
YOU THINK I DON'T
CARE ABOUT LENNOX?

201
00:09:36,944 --> 00:09:39,079
SHE'S UP THERE RIGHT
NOW, CLEAN AND SOBER

202
00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:42,716
WITH HER HONOR INTACT. I DON'T KNOW
HOW I'M GOING TO LIVE WITH MYSELF.

203
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:44,718
THAT BOY'S GONNA PAY...

204
00:09:44,752 --> 00:09:46,854
WITH BLOOD.

205
00:09:46,887 --> 00:09:49,657
OKAY, JOE, YOU KNOW THAT
LINE YOU SHOULDN'T CROSS?

206
00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:52,926
I CAN'T EVEN SEE IT FROM HERE. YOU
SHOULD SCOOCH BACK ABOUT A MILE OR TWO.

207
00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:58,331
GOOD NIGHT, MEL DEAR.

208
00:09:58,365 --> 00:10:00,734
GOOD NIGHT, MRS. GELLER.

209
00:10:00,768 --> 00:10:04,337
ALL RIGHT, DEAR.

210
00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:08,108
AM I A SCRAPPY LITTLE TRAMP

211
00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:11,679
WITH A BOWLER HAT
AND A MUSTACHE?

212
00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:14,882
UH, NO. AM I WILL SMITH?

213
00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:17,217
UGH, I WISH.

214
00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:25,693
- HEY, JOE.
- HEY.

215
00:10:26,794 --> 00:10:28,361
JOE! WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING HERE?

216
00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:29,997
I'M HERE TO TALK TO THE
MAYOR, WORK THINGS OUT.

217
00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:32,700
- YOU CAN'T JUST WALK IN THERE.
- I KNOW, I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT.

218
00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:34,902
HOW? I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO GET
ON HIS CALENDAR FOR WEEKS.

219
00:10:39,006 --> 00:10:41,709
HEY, LOIS.

220
00:10:41,742 --> 00:10:44,244
PRETTY... PENCIL CUP.

221
00:10:44,277 --> 00:10:46,379
OH, THANK YOU, MS. BURKE.

222
00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:49,116
LISTEN, THIS GENTLEMAN DOESN'T
REALLY NEED TO SEE THE MAYOR,

223
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,051
- SO HIS APPOINTMENT IS CANCELED.
- OKAY.

224
00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:53,987
- NO IT'S NOT.
- OKAY.

225
00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:56,957
LOOK, THE MAYOR NEEDS TO KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE, MEL.

226
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,860
NO, HE DOESN'T NEED TO KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON. HE'S THE MAYOR.

227
00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:03,363
WHAT IS GOING ON OUT HERE?
I'M TRYING TO TAKE A NAP.

228
00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:06,233
- WHO ARE YOU?
- JOE LONGO, SIR.

229
00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:09,169
- OH, ARE YOU THE COUNCILWOMAN'S HUSBAND?
- GOD NO.

230
00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:12,205
I'M HER... NANNY.

231
00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:14,908
OKAY.

232
00:11:14,942 --> 00:11:17,811
WHY DON'T YOU BOTH COME IN?

233
00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:19,646
( sighs ) LOIS, HOLD MY CALLS

234
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,415
AND GET ME A FALAFEL.

235
00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:23,984
OKAY.

236
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:33,193
SO? I HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY.

237
00:11:33,226 --> 00:11:36,764
WELL, SIR, THERE'S NO EASY
WAY TO BRING THIS UP...

238
00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:39,132
WE'RE HERE TO TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED
WITH LENNOX AND YOUR SON AT THE PARTY.

239
00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:42,836
- OKAY, ONE EASY WAY.
- OH, THE PARTY ISSUE.

240
00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:44,972
YEAH, I GUESS WE CAN'T DODGE IT.

241
00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:48,408
IT'S ALWAYS TOUGH WHEN YOUR OWN CHILD
IS INVOLVED IN SOMETHING INAPPROPRIATE.

242
00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:50,143
I FEEL FOR YOU, COUNCILWOMAN.

243
00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:52,212
BECAUSE I KNOW YOU TOOK
IN THOSE TROUBLED KIDS

244
00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:54,915
- AFTER THEIR PARENTS ABANDONED THEM.
- PLEASE...

245
00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:56,416
DON'T MAKE ME OUT TO BE A HERO.

246
00:11:56,449 --> 00:11:58,418
I WASN'T GONNA.

247
00:11:58,451 --> 00:12:01,688
LOOK, I'M SURE YOU'RE DOING
THE VERY BEST YOU CAN.

248
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:05,125
BUT TEENAGERS WITH ISSUES CAN
BE DIFFICULT TO CONTROL.

249
00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:07,828
THEY ACT OUT WITH
ROWDY BEHAVIOR,

250
00:12:07,861 --> 00:12:09,763
THEY USE DRUGS,
EXPERIMENT WITH SEX...

251
00:12:09,797 --> 00:12:11,698
I'M SORRY, WHEN YOU SAY

252
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,134
"TEENAGERS WITH ISSUES,"
WHO ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?

253
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:15,936
LENNOX.

254
00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:18,305
IT'S MY UNDERSTANDING SHE
SUPPLIED THE ALCOHOL.

255
00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:20,173
- I'M SORRY, WHAT?
- JOE.

256
00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:22,409
- WE KNOW THERE WAS ALCOHOL THERE...
- MY SON BRETT

257
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:24,878
ALSO REPORTED THAT SHE WAS...

258
00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:28,148
- OOH, HOW CAN I PUT THIS?
- VERY CAREFULLY.

259
00:12:29,149 --> 00:12:31,251
THROWING HERSELF AT THE BOYS.

260
00:12:31,284 --> 00:12:33,220
DID YOU REALLY JUST SAY THAT?

261
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:35,923
THAT JUST DOESN'T
SOUND LIKE LENNOX.

262
00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:39,226
YOU NEED TO PULL YOUR HEAD
OUT OF YOUR KEISTER...

263
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,194
BEFORE THAT LITTLE
MILK SHAKE SUCCEEDS

264
00:12:41,228 --> 00:12:43,396
IN GETTING ONE OF THOSE
FINE YOUNG MEN IN TROUBLE.

265
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,398
YOU SHOULD REALLY JUST
STOP RIGHT THERE.

266
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:47,500
SHE MAY BE WILLING TO
THROW HER LIFE AWAY,

267
00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:50,904
BUT SHE SHOULDN'T DRAG ONE OF THOSE
FINE YOUNG MEN DOWN WITH HER.

268
00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:52,372
( laughs )

269
00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:54,875
- SON OF A...
- JOE, JOE, JOE!

270
00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:56,944
LOIS, SECURITY! LOIS, LOIS!

271
00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:01,448
YOU KNOW THESE NANNIES TODAY WITH
THEIR HIGH LEVELS OF TESTOSTERONE.

272
00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:13,226
HEY, SO,

273
00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:16,029
GOOD NEWS... THE MAYOR'S NOT
GOING TO PRESS ANY CHARGES.

274
00:13:16,063 --> 00:13:17,831
YOU KNOW WHY? HE
FELT SORRY FOR US

275
00:13:17,865 --> 00:13:19,900
BECAUSE WE HAVE A TEENAGE SEX
ADDICT LIVING IN OUR HOUSE.

276
00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:22,235
YOU'RE LUCKY I DIDN'T
TAKE THAT GUY'S HEAD OFF.

277
00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:25,839
- JOE, YOU ACTED CRAZY.
- OH, I WASN'T ACTING.

278
00:13:25,873 --> 00:13:28,441
I HAD TO PROTECT LENNOX
FROM ALL THESE LIES.

279
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:31,879
YEAH, ABOUT THOSE LIES... I HAD
THIS SMALL UNSETTLING FEELING,

280
00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:35,115
AS YOU WERE SAILING ACROSS THE
MAYOR'S DESK LIKE A BALD EAGLE...

281
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:40,888
HOW DO WE KNOW... I MEAN HOW CAN WE BE
SURE THAT LENNOX IS TELLING THE TRUTH?

282
00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:43,090
BECAUSE SHE'S LENNOX.

283
00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:46,259
LISTEN, I LIED PRETTY MUCH EVERY
MOMENT OF MY TEENAGE LIFE.

284
00:13:46,293 --> 00:13:48,862
LYING IS LIKE EYESHADOW
TO TEENAGE GIRLS.

285
00:13:48,896 --> 00:13:51,464
ONCE THEY DISCOVER IT,
THEY USE IT ALL THE TIME.

286
00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:56,103
- SO YOU DON'T THINK SHE WAS TELLING THE TRUTH?
- I DON'T KNOW.

287
00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:57,537
I'M JUST SAYING IT'S POSSIBLE.

288
00:13:57,570 --> 00:14:00,240
IF SHE WASN'T...
AND THEN I WENT...

289
00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:03,443
OH BOY.

290
00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:05,812
DID I JUST ASSAULT THE
MAYOR FOR NO REASON?

291
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:08,581
LOOK, I'M NOT SAYING LENNOX WAS LYING.
I'M JUST SAYING...

292
00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:10,884
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.

293
00:14:10,918 --> 00:14:13,153
CAN YOU FIGURE IT OUT BEFORE
YOU START TO SAY SOMETHING?

294
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:15,555
IT'D BE REALLY HELPFUL TO
OTHER PEOPLE IN THE ROOM.

295
00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:18,892
OKAY, THE TRUTH IS WE'RE JUST NOT
GOING TO KNOW WHAT THE TRUTH IS.

296
00:14:18,926 --> 00:14:21,028
OH, WE'RE GONNA KNOW.

297
00:14:24,631 --> 00:14:26,333
MEL, GET IN HERE.

298
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,168
- OH, THIS IS WRONG!
- GET IN HERE,

299
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:29,970
COME ON! WHAT IS YOUR PLAN, HUH?

300
00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:32,505
WHAT, LIVE WITH THE DOUBT AND
THE CONSTANT GNAWING ANXIETY?

301
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:34,541
YEAH, YOU GET USED TO IT. OKAY?

302
00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:38,011
THERE'S NO PROBLEM TOO BIG THAT YOU
CAN'T SWEEP UNDER AN ENORMOUS RUG.

303
00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:40,013
PREFERABLY WITH A VODKA BROOM.

304
00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:43,016
MAYBE YOU CAN LIVE LIKE THAT, BUT
I CAN'T, ALL RIGHT? I NEED PROOF.

305
00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:46,553
OKAY, HERE WE GO. NOW LOOK,
HER INBOX IS ALREADY OPEN.

306
00:14:46,586 --> 00:14:48,855
NO. IF WE READ HER EMAILS,
WE'RE VIOLATING HER TRUST.

307
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,890
SHE'S NEVER GONNA KNOW
WE'RE VIOLATING HER TRUST.

308
00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:52,926
SO FROM HER PERSPECTIVE,
SHE'S UNVIOLATED.

309
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:54,561
- INVIOLATE.
- REALLY?

310
00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:56,629
YOU'RE GONNA DO THAT NOW?

311
00:14:56,663 --> 00:14:59,266
EXCUSE ME. HELLO, DEAR.

312
00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:02,335
- HI.
- IS THE KITCHEN STILL OPEN?

313
00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:05,505
YEAH, GIVE ME A MINUTE. I'LL COME
DOWN AND COOK YOU SOMETHING.

314
00:15:07,474 --> 00:15:09,909
- WHAT, DOES SHE THINK SHE'S ON A CRUISE SHIP?
- I DON'T KNOW.

315
00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:11,478
NINE HOURS AND SHE'S GONE, OKAY?

316
00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:13,413
HOW ABOUT THIS? HOW ABOUT THIS:

317
00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:15,382
I'LL OPEN UP THE EMAIL,
BUT I WON'T READ IT.

318
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,450
THEN YOU CAN CASUALLY WALK
BY AND YOU CAN READ IT.

319
00:15:17,484 --> 00:15:19,386
YEAH, HOW IS THAT NOT
VIOLATING HER TRUST?

320
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,554
OH, IT'S DEFINITELY VIOLATING
HER TRUST BIG TIME.

321
00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:23,590
- I'M NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THIS.
- REALLY?

322
00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:25,325
OKAY WELL...

323
00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:27,560
- TOO LATE.
- NO!

324
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,629
OKAY, THIS ONE'S
ABOUT THE PARTY.

325
00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:33,066
REALLY? WHAT IS "AYSOS"?

326
00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:37,270
- ARE YOU STUPID OR SOMETHING?
- I'M SORRY, I DON'T SPEAK THIS NET LINGO.

327
00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:40,974
A.Y.S.O.S.... "ARE YOU
STUPID OR SOMETHING?"

328
00:15:42,075 --> 00:15:43,710
OH, THANK YOU.

329
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:47,280
- OKAY, HERE'S ONE FROM BRETT.
- NO!

330
00:15:47,314 --> 00:15:48,982
OH, WHAT?

331
00:15:49,016 --> 00:15:52,019
"DON'T NARC ME OUT, LENNOX. IF
MY DAD FINDS OUT I WAS BUYING,

332
00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:54,021
HE'LL TAKE AWAY MY CAR."

333
00:15:54,054 --> 00:15:56,589
THAT'S GREAT! THAT MEANS
LENNOX WAS TELLING THE TRUTH.

334
00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:59,026
- OH, WHAT A RELIEF.
- I TOLD YOU.

335
00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:01,628
Lennox: ANYBODY HOME?

336
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:11,004
UH, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING IN MY ROOM?

337
00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:13,106
JUST CHECKING OUT THESE LIGHTS.
SEEING HOW MANY

338
00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:15,208
COMPACT FLUORESCENTS WE'RE
GOING TO HAVE TO PUT IN HERE.

339
00:16:15,242 --> 00:16:17,677
- ONE, TWO...
- THREE.

340
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:19,679
- WE'RE DONE.
- YEP, ALL GOOD.

341
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:30,023
HEY LENNOX, YOU GOT A LOT
OF HOMEWORK TONIGHT?

342
00:16:30,057 --> 00:16:32,059
- EH.
- DID YOU HEAR THAT?

343
00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:34,361
YEAH, SHE KNOWS WE SNOOPED.
THAT'S IT, I'M CONFESSING.

344
00:16:34,394 --> 00:16:37,330
COME HERE! YOU'RE NEVER GONNA DO IT
AGAIN, SO DON'T GO RUIN THE RELATIONSHIP.

345
00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:39,232
YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT!

346
00:16:39,266 --> 00:16:41,501
YOU KNOW, IF YOU'D JUST START
EVERY DAY WITH THAT PREMISE,

347
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:43,636
YOUR LIFE WOULD JUST
BE SO MUCH EASIER.

348
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:45,338
DINNER'S READY, EVERYBODY.

349
00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:49,109
HERE WE GO, ALL RIGHTY.

350
00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:51,644
YUM.

351
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:55,382
BEFORE WE BEGIN, I WOULD
LIKE TO SAY GRACE.

352
00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:57,217
OH.

353
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:02,589
DEAR GOD, PLEASE
BLESS THIS BOUNTY

354
00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:04,457
AND THESE GENEROUS PEOPLE

355
00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:06,426
WHO HAVE TAKEN ME
INTO THEIR HOME...

356
00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:08,595
TEMPORARILY.

357
00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:11,564
BUT NOT FOR LESS THAN 40 HOURS.

358
00:17:11,598 --> 00:17:14,434
...AND PLEASE FORGIVE
OUR DAILY TRESPASSES,

359
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:17,737
PARTICULARLY EARLIER TODAY
WHEN JOE AND MEL TRESPASSED

360
00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:20,707
INTO LENNOX'S ROOM
AND READ HER EMAIL.

361
00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:23,710
- WHAT?!
- OH, SHE'S NOT ALL THERE.

362
00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:25,812
THAT'S A LOAD OF CRAP.

363
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:29,682
YOU TWO WERE SNOOPING
AND YOU KNOW IT.

364
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:34,154
AND YOU ATE AN ENTIRE BAG
OF SLIM JIMS FOR BREAKFAST,

365
00:17:36,189 --> 00:17:39,259
AND YOU WERE LOOKING AT
BOOBIES ON THE INTERNET.

366
00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:47,534
WOW, NOBODY LEFT STANDING.

367
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,068
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!

368
00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:51,204
I THOUGHT YOU PEOPLE TRUSTED ME.

369
00:17:51,238 --> 00:17:53,473
( huffs )

370
00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:56,476
AMEN.

371
00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:01,114
- ( cell phone beeps )
- UGH, ANOTHER TEXT FROM LENNOX.

372
00:18:01,148 --> 00:18:03,650
- "I'M BRUSHING MY TEETH."
- ( beeps )

373
00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:05,818
- "I'M RINSING."
- ( beeps )

374
00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:07,454
"I'M SPITTING."

375
00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:09,722
WOW, SHE CAN TYPE THAT
FAST WITH ONE HAND?

376
00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:12,659
YEAH, SHE WON'T TALK TO ME, BUT
SHE'S TEXTS ME EVERY SIX SECONDS

377
00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:15,495
TO PROTEST HER LACK OF PRIVACY.

378
00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:18,831
- ( beeps )
- "I HAD AN IMPURE THOUGHT ABOUT JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT."

379
00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:24,337
THIS IS GREAT. YOU KNOW, I ONLY
READ HER EMAIL BECAUSE YOU MADE ME.

380
00:18:24,371 --> 00:18:26,773
AND THAT SENTENCE SHOULD HAVE ENDED
WITH, "AND I THANK YOU, JOE.

381
00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:28,608
I THANK YOU FOR
GETTING ME THE TRUTH.

382
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:30,643
I NEVER WOULD HAVE DONE IT
BECAUSE I'M A BIG WUSS."

383
00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:34,281
THANK YOU, JOE, FOR FIXING
EVERYTHING SO THAT LENNOX HATES ME.

384
00:18:34,314 --> 00:18:36,616
YOU JUST HAVE THIS
PATHOLOGICAL NEED TO BE LIKED.

385
00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:38,751
- CLEARLY YOU DON'T.
- NO!

386
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,787
YOU GOTTA REPAIR THE RUPTURE.
SO YOU GO UP THERE

387
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:43,656
AND YOU APOLOGIZE AND START MEND
YOUR RELATIONSHIP. YOU CAN DO IT.

388
00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:46,193
( sighs ) YOU KNOW, I
DON'T NEED TO BE LIKED.

389
00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:48,195
MRS. GELLER HATES ME AND
I'M FINE WITH THAT.

390
00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:50,697
WHY DOES SHE HATE ME?

391
00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:54,567
LENNOX, CAN I COME IN?

392
00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:56,102
( beeps )

393
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:58,205
"OPENING THE DOOR."

394
00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:02,875
OKAY, YOU'VE MADE YOUR POINT.
YOU CAN STOP TEXTING ME NOW.

395
00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:04,877
OH REALLY? BECAUSE I
THOUGHT YOU NEEDED TO KNOW

396
00:19:04,911 --> 00:19:08,215
WHAT I'M DOING EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY
AND NIGHT SINCE YOU DON'T TRUST ME.

397
00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:10,350
HEY LOOK, I WAS 15 ONCE TOO

398
00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:12,118
AND I DID CRAZY THINGS

399
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:15,722
AND I LIED LIKE A BASEBALL
PLAYER IN FRONT OF CONGRESS.

400
00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:19,626
BUT I DIDN'T LIE. I'M
NOT YOU, AUNT MEL.

401
00:19:20,727 --> 00:19:22,562
YOU KNOW, THAT'S TRUE.

402
00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:24,697
FOR STARTERS YOU'RE A
LOT SMARTER THAN I WAS.

403
00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:27,667
I MADE SOME BAD CHOICES AND I'M
NOT JUST TALKING ABOUT BACK THEN.

404
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:31,404
TODAY WHEN I READ YOUR EMAIL...
THAT JOE OPENED...

405
00:19:31,438 --> 00:19:33,840
I VIOLATED YOUR TRUST.

406
00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:36,443
YOU SURE DID.

407
00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:38,711
SO HOW ABOUT I EVEN THE SCORE?

408
00:19:38,745 --> 00:19:41,381
I'LL TELL YOU A SECRET
I'VE NEVER TOLD ANYONE.

409
00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:43,583
IT'D BETTER BE A GOOD ONE.

410
00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:45,752
OH, IT'S A GOOD ONE.

411
00:19:45,785 --> 00:19:49,389
ALL RIGHT, I HAVE A
LITTLE CUTE TATTOO

412
00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:51,391
ON MY LEFT BUTT CHEEK

413
00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:54,494
THAT SAYS, "MEL AND
SIMON FOREVER."

414
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,729
- SO?
- I HAVE NO IDEA WHO SIMON IS.

415
00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:58,598
( laughs )

416
00:19:58,631 --> 00:20:01,401
THAT'S TERRIBLE.

417
00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:05,538
SERIOUSLY, LENNOX, I DO TRUST YOU AND
I DON'T WANT TO LOSE WHAT WE HAVE.

418
00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:08,408
I KNOW. AND IT MEANS A
LOT, YOU TELLING ME THAT.

419
00:20:08,441 --> 00:20:11,478
SO SIMON WILL BE
OUR LITTLE SECRET?

420
00:20:11,511 --> 00:20:12,879
PINKY PROMISE?

421
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:17,350
GOOD NIGHT, LEN.

422
00:20:17,384 --> 00:20:18,851
GOOD NIGHT, AUNT MEL.

423
00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:21,187
SO HOW'D IT GO?

424
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,323
GOOD. PRETTY GOOD.

425
00:20:23,356 --> 00:20:25,658
I THINK WE'VE REESTABLISHED
OUR BOND OF TRUST.

426
00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:31,498
I JUST GOT A MESSAGE
FROM LENNOX.

427
00:20:32,799 --> 00:20:34,967
"MEL BURKE HAS A GUY'S
NAME TATTOOED ON HER BUTT

428
00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:36,869
AND SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHO IT IS."

429
00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:40,573
THAT WAS SUPPOSED
TO BE A SECRET!

430
00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:43,776
THAT'S A REALLY GOOD
BOND YOU TWO GOT.

431
00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:45,545
VERY FUNNY. DELETE THAT.

432
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:47,680
I'D BE HAPPY TO.
ALTHOUGH I CAN'T SPEAK

433
00:20:47,714 --> 00:20:50,783
FOR THE MILLIONS OF OTHER PEOPLE
WHO JUST READ THAT ON TWITTER.

434
00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:01,761
( upbeat music playing )

435
00:21:03,730 --> 00:21:05,532
HEY!

436
00:21:05,565 --> 00:21:07,500
IT'S 1:30 IN THE MORNING.

437
00:21:13,473 --> 00:21:15,775
I TOLD YOU THAT GAME WAS GONNA
GET YOU THE LADIES, DUDE.

438
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,611
YEAH, "JUST DANCE 2."

439
00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:21,348
IT'S GOT A TON OF NEW SONGS.
WANNA TRY?

440
00:21:21,381 --> 00:21:23,350
NO THANKS.

441
00:21:23,383 --> 00:21:26,653
YOUR 40 HOURS ARE UP, GELLER.
GO HOME.

442
00:21:29,556 --> 00:21:31,658
WHAT A BUZZKILL.

443
00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:39,799
( theme music playing )