1
00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:09,043
"MELISSA & JOEY" IS RECORDED IN
FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.

2
00:00:09,077 --> 00:00:11,045
( TV chatter )

3
00:00:11,079 --> 00:00:13,013
GEORGE, NOT THE
NECK, NOT THE NECK.

4
00:00:13,047 --> 00:00:15,683
I'M SORRY, DID YOU WANT MORE NECK?
COMING RIGHT UP.

5
00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:17,585
( giggles ) NO.

6
00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:20,088
OH LOOK. THE MOVIE'S OVER.

7
00:00:20,121 --> 00:00:22,090
WE MISSED THE ENDING.

8
00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:24,092
WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT.

9
00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:27,061
I WANT TO MAKE SURE NO ANIMALS
WERE HARMED DURING THE FILMING.

10
00:00:28,096 --> 00:00:30,698
ALL RIGHT, NO ONE DIED.
LET'S GET NAKED.

11
00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:33,067
OH, NOT TONIGHT, COWBOY.

12
00:00:33,101 --> 00:00:35,669
I GOTTA WORK IN THE MORNING.
IT'S TIME FOR BED.

13
00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:37,671
THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING...
BEDTIME.

14
00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:39,673
NO NO NO, MY BED HERE,
YOUR BED THERE.

15
00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:42,110
YOU KNOW WHAT? WHY DON'T YOU
JUST EXPLAIN IT TO ME UPSTAIRS?

16
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( cell phone rings )

17
00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:46,780
- HELLO.
- Man: Hey George.

18
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HEY STEVERS. HEY, MAN, I CAN'T
HEAR YOU OVER THE MUSIC.

19
00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:52,720
OH, DO YOU WANT TO GO
TO THE ENVY LOUNGE?

20
00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:56,624
WANT TO? YEAH. GOING TO? NO.

21
00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:59,160
THE OLD LADY'S GOTTA WORK.
I'M COMING SOLO.

22
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AWW.

23
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I'M YOUR OLD LADY?
THAT'S SO SWEET.

24
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NEVER SAY THAT AGAIN.

25
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OH, LOOK AT HIM GO...
YOUNG, INDEPENDENT,

26
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NOT A CARE IN THE WORLD.

27
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THIS CRAP'S GOTTA STOP.

28
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THAT BOY NEEDS A JOB.

29
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I MEAN, YEAH, IT STARTED
OFF AS A FLING,

30
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BUT THIS RELATIONSHIP'S
GETTING SERIOUS.

31
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YOU KNOW, JUST BECAUSE I'M LOOKING
AT YOU DOESN'T MEAN I'M LISTENING.

32
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OH, COME ON, JOE. YOU SAID
YOU LIKED HIS BUSINESS IDEA.

33
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SO GIVE HIM SOME POINTERS...
YOU KNOW, BUSINESSY THINGS.

34
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YEAH, THAT MAKES SENSE, 'CAUSE I WAS
FIRST IN MY CLASS AT BUSINESSY SCHOOL.

35
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IT'S NOT THAT EASY, BURKE. A COUPLE
OF WEEKS AGO WHEN GEORGE AND I

36
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WENT OVER HIS LITTLE ECO-FRIENDLY FABRIC
THING, THE KID WAS ALL OVER THE PLACE.

37
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YEAH, BUT THAT'S JUST
HIS YOUTHFUL ENERGY.

38
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COME ON, JOE, HE NEEDS
SOMEONE LIKE YOU

39
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WHO'S SEASONED AND
WISE, YOU KNOW.

40
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BE HIS OBI WAN. BE
HIS OPRAH, JOE.

41
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BE HIS JOPRAH.

42
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I'M GONNA HAVE TO SAY NOPRAH.

43
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- YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
- YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. YOU WANT ME TO TURN

44
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YOUR BOY WONDER INTO A MAN
WONDER, GROW HIM UP FOR YOU.

45
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IT'S WHAT HE'D EVOLVE INTO ANYWAY.
AND YOU CAN HELP HIM.

46
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AND BY HELPING HIM YOU'RE HELPING ME AND
BY HELPING ME YOU'RE HELPING YOURSELF.

47
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IT'S REALLY A CIRCLE OF HELP.

48
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I KNOW THE CIRCLE OF HELP. IT'S GONNA
COME AROUND AND BITE ME ON THE ASS.

49
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THANK YOU.

50
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( theme music playing )

51
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- ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD
- ♪ All good

52
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- ♪ IT'S OKAY
- ♪ Okay

53
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- ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT
- ♪ All right

54
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♪ AS FAR AS I CAN SEE

55
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- ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD
- ♪ All good

56
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- ♪ IT'S OKAY
- ♪ Okay

57
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- ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT
- ♪ All right

58
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♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK ♪

59
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♪ WITH ME ♪

60
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DO YOU MIND? I'M TRYING
TO PLAY "ANGRY BIRDS."

61
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SORRY, HOLLY. MY BAD.

62
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DON'T SAY "MY BAD."

63
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YOU'RE NOT WILL SMITH
AND IT'S NOT 2003.

64
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SORRY, MY BA... NO, IT'S NOT.

65
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ALL RIGHT, THE GAME'S OVER.

66
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YOU CAN PUT YOUR
ARM AROUND ME NOW.

67
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THANK YOU.

68
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YOU KNOW, RYDER, I
THINK IT'S TIME

69
00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:03,917
TO LET YOU GET TO
THE NEXT LEVEL.

70
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REALLY? THE NEXT LEVEL?

71
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MM-HMM, THIS FRIDAY,
7:00, MY HOUSE.

72
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WOW.

73
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:18,732
UM, SHOULD I, YOU KNOW,
BRING SOMETHING?

74
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YES.

75
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YOGURT-COVERED PRETZELS.
MY MOTHER LOVES THEM.

76
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OKAY, GREAT.

77
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WHAT?

78
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,844
YOU'RE MEETING MY
PARENTS ON FRIDAY.

79
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YEAH, OF COURSE, RIGHT.

80
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,916
WHAT DID YOU THINK?

81
00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:39,920
UGH, GET YOUR ARM OFF ME.

82
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SO LOOK, MAN, GOOD
WORK HERE.ALLY

83
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- I THINK I CAN ACTUALLY
- SO IT SUCKS LESS? E NOW.

84
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40% LESS, YES.

85
00:03:50,864 --> 00:03:53,834
LOOK, I WANT YOU TO READ
ARTICLES TONIGHT, OKAY?

86
00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:55,703
OH MAN. HOMEWORK?

87
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YEAH, BUDDY. A PARTY SCHOOL.

88
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AND YOUR BASKETBALL TEAM BLOWS.

89
00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:03,777
LISTEN,

90
00:04:03,811 --> 00:04:06,680
CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING
OFF TOPIC ABOUT MEL?

91
00:04:06,714 --> 00:04:08,716
RUN. I'M KIDDING.

92
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,951
SEMI-KIDDING. WHAT?

93
00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:13,854
TUESDAY MEL AND I FOR
A WHOLE MONTHGETHER

94
00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:15,823
AND I WANT TO GET HER
SOMETHING SPECIAL.

95
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:17,991
WELL, LET'S SEE.
NORMALLY GIVE SOMEBODY

96
00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:19,993
AFTER YOU'VE BEEN
TOGETHER A WHOLE MONTH?

97
00:04:20,027 --> 00:04:21,929
AN INFLATABLE NECK PILLOW.

98
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THIS IS SERIOUS.

99
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IT'S GOTTA BE SOMETHING
"I'M IN THIS FOR REAL."

100
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DO YOU THINK SHE'D LIKE
A CASHMERE SWEATER?

101
00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:30,738
NOPE NOPE. SHE'S
ALLERGIC TO WOOL

102
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:33,674
AND ANGORA... OH,
AND CHEAP SHOES.

103
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I CAN GET HER AN APPOINTMENT
AT AN ALLERGIST.

104
00:04:35,843 --> 00:04:37,010
WHAT?

105
00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:40,614
WHAT IF I NAME A STAR AFTER HER?

106
00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:41,815
OKAY, THAT'S HILARIOUS.

107
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A BUDDY OF MINE ONCE GAVE
HIS GIRLFRIEND ONE OF THOSE

108
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FOR HER BIRTHDAY. OH
GOD, THAT POOR BA...

109
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MY POINT IS THAT

110
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SHE DOESN'T REALLY LIKE GIFTS
THAT ARE NOT FROM THIS GALAXY.

111
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PLUS SHE LIKES TO UNWRAP THINGS.

112
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WELL, I GOT MY MOM A
SILVER LOCKET ONCE.

113
00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:56,764
YOU THINK MEL WOULD LIKE THAT?

114
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:59,833
GEORGE, YOU NEVER EVER
GIVE YOUR GIRLFRIEND

115
00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:02,636
THE SAME GIFT YOU JUST GAVE
YOUR MOTHER, ALL RIGHT?

116
00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:03,971
IT'S JUST KIND OF A
GOOD RULE TO LIVE BY.

117
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WELL, THEN I'M TAPPED.

118
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NO NO, WAIT A MINUTE. SHE
DOES LIKE JEWELRY THOUGH.

119
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YOU'VE SEEN HER DRESSER. SHE'S
GOT ALL OF HER NECKLACES

120
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KNOTTED UP THERE LIKE SPAGHETTI.
WHAT ABOUT THIS?

121
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WHY DON'T YOU GET HER A JEWELRY BOX?
THAT'D BE A GOOD IDEA.

122
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:19,753
YOU CAN EVEN PICK ONE OUT THAT PLAYS MUSIC.
YOU COULD PICK THE SONG.

123
00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:21,789
YEAH, I COULD PICK
HER FAVORITE SONG.

124
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WHAT IS HER FAVORITE SONG?

125
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DON'T YOU GUYS EVER TALK?

126
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WHAT THE HELL DO YOU DO
WHEN YOU'RE TOGETHER?

127
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NEVER MIND.

128
00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:32,866
THE SONG IS "CARELESS LOVE."

129
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:36,003
THANKS, MAN. I WILL
JUST GOOGLE THAT.

130
00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:37,971
OH, WHATCHA GOOGLING?

131
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PORN. BUSINESS PORN.

132
00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:42,710
INTERESTING, GEORGE.

133
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YOU'LL HAVE TO SHOW ME LATER.
WE CAN HAVE A STUDY DATE.

134
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:46,814
YEAH, 'CAUSE YOU
MAJORED IN HOTNESS.

135
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,882
- AND MINORED IN NAUGHTY.
- OOH.

136
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:53,954
REMEMBER, WE EAT OFF THIS TABLE.

137
00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:00,794
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. THIS IS NOT
JUST MEETING REGULAR PARENTS.

138
00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:03,797
HOLLY'S FATHER'S A GYM TEACHER
AND ALL GYM TEACHERS HATE ME.

139
00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:05,833
AND HER MOTHER'S THE
CITY PROSECUTOR.

140
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:08,636
SHE MAKES MURDERERS CRY.

141
00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:10,671
( laughs )

142
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:11,972
I'M SORRY TO LAUGH.

143
00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:13,841
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
YOU HAVE TO HELP ME OUT

144
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,976
OR ELSE FRIDAY'S DINNER
IS GONNA BE MY LAST MEAL.

145
00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:17,845
CALM DOWN.

146
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,780
YOU'VE GOT A LOT GOING FOR YOU.

147
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YOU'RE WEAK AND TOTALLY UNTHREATENING.
PARENTS EAT THAT STUFF UP.

148
00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:25,653
THANKS. YOU'RE A
TERRIFIC LIFE COACH.

149
00:06:25,686 --> 00:06:27,888
LOOK, GETTING ALONG WITH PARENTS

150
00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:29,957
IS JUST A MATTER OF
MAKING THEM THINK

151
00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:32,025
YOU'RE SOMETHING GIRLS
ARE NOT INTERESTED IN.

152
00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:34,862
AND YOU'RE THERE.

153
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,864
OKAY, I'M SORRY. THAT
WAS THE LAST ONE.

154
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:38,999
ALL RIGHT, FOR REAL,

155
00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:41,669
DRESS CONSERVATIVE,

156
00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:43,737
SAY "YES SIR" AND "YES MA'AM."

157
00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:45,839
AND IF THEY ASK
ABOUT FUTURE PLANS,

158
00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:48,776
TELL THEM YOU WANT TO BE

159
00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:50,744
A FLIGHT ATTENDANT.

160
00:06:52,045 --> 00:06:53,914
( doorbell rings )

161
00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:56,717
I GOT IT. IT'S GEORGE. HE'S TAKING
ME TO HIS FAVORITE RESTAURANT.

162
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:59,920
THE ONE WHERE THEY GIVE YOU THE
PAPER CROWN IF IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY?

163
00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:02,990
HEY, I'M SORRY I'M LATE, MEL, BUT
THERE'S A REALLY REALLY GOOD REASON.

164
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:04,858
TELL ME ON THE WAY.
MUST HAVE WINE.

165
00:07:04,892 --> 00:07:07,828
NO NO NO, I THINK JOE
NEEDS TO HEAR THIS TOO.

166
00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:10,664
I GOT A CALL FROM ONE OF THE
COMPANIES THAT YOU SET ME UP WITH...

167
00:07:10,698 --> 00:07:13,767
FABRIZIO SPORTSWEAR. THEY WANT
TO MANUFACTURE MY FABRIC.

168
00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:15,869
THEY'RE FLYING ME TO ITALY
SOMETIME THIS WEEK.

169
00:07:15,903 --> 00:07:17,705
GEORGE, THAT'S AWESOME.

170
00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:19,873
DUDE. CONGRATS, BUDDY. I DID IT.

171
00:07:19,907 --> 00:07:21,942
I MEAN, YOU DID IT.

172
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:24,845
THEIR EXECS WANT ME ON
THE FRONT LINE OF THIS.

173
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:27,748
THEY MAY EVEN RENT ME
AN APARTMENT IN MILAN.

174
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,750
WHOA, HEY, AN APARTMENT?

175
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:31,919
LIKE THE THING PEOPLE LIVE IN?

176
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:34,922
YEAH. I MEAN IT'LL BE
CHEAPER IN THE LONG RUN.

177
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:37,691
OH, WELL, EXACTLY HOW
LONG IS THIS LONG RUN?

178
00:07:37,725 --> 00:07:39,827
I GET ALL THE DETAILS TOMORROW.
IT'S A BIG CONFERENCE CALL.

179
00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:42,896
I'M SORRY ABOUT DINNER, BUT I GOTTA
TURN THESE VISA PAPERS IN BEFORE 6:00.

180
00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:45,999
IT'S SO UNBELIEVABLE.
I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

181
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:48,736
HEY, THANKS, MAN. NONE OF THIS
WOULD HAVE HAPPENED WITHOUT YOU.

182
00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:49,870
YOU GOT IT, BUDDY.

183
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:54,007
WELL, LONGO COMES THROUGH AGAIN.

184
00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:56,944
WHAT DO YOU SAY?

185
00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:59,980
I THINK I'M GONNA KILL YOU.

186
00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:12,726
MILAN? ITALY? I ASKED
YOU TO HELP HIM,

187
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:16,797
NOT MAKE HIM AN INTERNATIONAL
MAN OF FABRIC.

188
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,600
I DON'T BELIEVE THIS. I DID
EXACTLY WHAT YOU ASKED ME TO DO

189
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:22,570
AND YOU'RE GIVING ME THE
WHO-FORGOT-TO-FLUSH FACE.

190
00:08:24,772 --> 00:08:26,607
FORGIVE ME. FORGIVE
ME FOR MAKING

191
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,576
YOUR FRIEND'S DREAMS COME TRUE.

192
00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:30,578
I LIKED HIM AND HE LIKED ME.

193
00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:32,580
IT'S NOT EASY TO
FIND THE RIGHT GUY.

194
00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:33,914
YOU'RE ACTING LIKE THIS
RELATIONSHIP IS OVER, MEL.

195
00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:36,750
IT'S GONNA BE PRETTY HARD TO
HOLD HIS HAND OR ANYTHING ELSE

196
00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:38,852
WHEN HE'S IN EUROPE.

197
00:08:38,886 --> 00:08:40,854
I THINK YOU'RE JUMPING
TO CONCLUSIONS HERE.

198
00:08:40,888 --> 00:08:43,757
HONESTLY, YOU'RE HAVING THIS
CONVERSATION WITH THE WRONG GUY.

199
00:08:43,791 --> 00:08:45,593
WHY DON'T YOU GO TALK TO GEORGE?

200
00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:48,662
BECAUSE I'M A-SCARED.

201
00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:54,835
REMEMBER, WHEN TALKING TO
HOLLY'S PARENTS, DON'T BRING UP

202
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,638
POLITICS, WAR, SEX OR RELIGION.

203
00:08:57,671 --> 00:08:58,739
WHAT'S LEFT?

204
00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:00,674
JUSTIN BIEBER.

205
00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:03,811
OH, SO YOU'RE MEETING THE
GIRLFRIEND'S PARENTS TONIGHT?

206
00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:06,814
YIKES, I WOULDN'T
WANT TO BE YOU.

207
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,686
I MEAN, I'M SURE
YOU'LL BE GREAT.

208
00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:13,854
YES, HE WILL BE.

209
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:16,556
JUST CALM DOWN AND
REPEAT YOUR MANTRA.

210
00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:17,691
OH, WHAT'S YOUR MANTRA?

211
00:09:17,725 --> 00:09:21,662
I'M WEAK. I'M HARMLESS.
THEY LOVE ME.

212
00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:24,832
WHERE ARE MY
YOGURT-COVERED PRETZELS?

213
00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:26,667
THEY'RE IN THE BAG, SWEETIE.

214
00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:30,738
OH NO, I JUST PANICKED
ALL OVER THEM.

215
00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:32,673
WE HAVE BACKUPS IN THE KITCHEN.
COME ON.

216
00:09:32,706 --> 00:09:34,842
( doorbell rings )

217
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:40,614
HEY, ARE YOU READY TO GO?
I MADE RESERVATIONS

218
00:09:40,648 --> 00:09:42,549
AT A SUPER QUIET RESTAURANT
SO WE COULD TALK.

219
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,551
NO NO NO NO, WE
NEED TO TALK NOW.

220
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:47,621
AH, YOU WANT TO KNOW
MORE ABOUT MILAN.

221
00:09:47,655 --> 00:09:49,623
YES, LIKE HOW LONG
YOU'RE GONNA BE THERE

222
00:09:49,657 --> 00:09:50,924
OR HOW SHORT YOU'RE
GONNA BE THERE.

223
00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:52,860
THEY JUST TOLD ME I'M
LEAVING THURSDAY,

224
00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:54,828
BUT THEY HAVEN'T WORKED
EVERYTHING OUT YET.

225
00:09:54,862 --> 00:09:57,597
OKAY, DON'T SUGAR-COAT IT.

226
00:09:57,631 --> 00:09:58,699
IT COULD BE SIX MONTHS.

227
00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:01,769
ALL RIGHT, SUGAR-COAT IT.

228
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:03,637
IT COULD BE A YEAR.

229
00:10:03,671 --> 00:10:05,939
WOW, YOU SUCK AT
SUGAR-COATING IT.

230
00:10:05,973 --> 00:10:08,842
LOOK, I'M SORRY, MEL. THIS WHOLE
THING'S HAPPENING SO FAST.

231
00:10:08,876 --> 00:10:11,578
I'M REALLY HAPPY
FOR YOU, GEORGE.

232
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,881
I'M JUST NOT AS HAPPY FOR US.

233
00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:19,352
YOU KNOW WHAT? COME
TO ITALY WITH ME.

234
00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:21,354
- WHAT?
- YEAH, YOU LIKE SHOES.

235
00:10:21,388 --> 00:10:24,357
THE WHOLE COUNTRY'S SHAPED LIKE A BOOT.
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT THERE.

236
00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:28,696
THAT'S FUNNY, 'CAUSE EVERY TIME
YOU SAY ITALY, I THINK MARS.

237
00:10:28,729 --> 00:10:30,898
LOOK, GEORGE, MY ENTIRE
LIFE IS HERE, YOU KNOW.

238
00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:32,766
I'M RESPONSIBLE FOR TWO KIDS.

239
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:35,602
I CAN'T JUST DROP
EVERYTHING AND TAKE OFF.

240
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,604
OKAY, HOW ABOUT THIS?

241
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,606
I'LL FLY BACK ON
WEEKENDS HERE AND THERE.

242
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,776
I CAN WORK ON THE PLANE...
INTERNET, FREE SNACKS, BLANKETS...

243
00:10:42,810 --> 00:10:45,846
COVERED WITH GERMS
FROM EVERY COUNTY.

244
00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:48,782
NO, I TRIED A LONG-DISTANCE
RELATIONSHIP ONCE WITH BEN BRICKMAN.

245
00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:51,384
WE WERE PRACTICALLY MARRIED AND
THEN HE MOVED TO WOODHAVEN.

246
00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:54,888
- WERE YOU GUYS TOGETHER A LONG TIME?
- LIKE MOST OF FIFTH GRADE.

247
00:10:54,922 --> 00:10:57,357
AND THEN JUST POOF... GONE.

248
00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:58,826
LOOK AT ME, MEL.

249
00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:01,394
IS THIS THE FACE
OF BEN BRICKMAN?

250
00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:03,831
YEAH, KINDA.

251
00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:05,933
I HAVE A TYPE.

252
00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:07,935
LOOK, GEORGE, LET'S
BE REALISTIC.

253
00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:10,938
ITALY IS A MILLION MILES AWAY.
WE CAN'T COMMIT TO THIS.

254
00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:14,674
WE BARELY KNOW EACH OTHER. WE'VE
BEEN GOING OUT FOR WHAT, A MONTH?

255
00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:16,376
IT WILL BE TONIGHT.

256
00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:18,746
AND SPEAKING OF WHICH,

257
00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:20,914
HAPPY 30-DAY-VERSARY.

258
00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:22,950
WHAT'S THIS?

259
00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:25,719
WELL, IF I TELL YOU, I JUST
WASTED TWO HOURS WRAPPING IT.

260
00:11:25,753 --> 00:11:27,721
I LOVE UNWRAPPING STUFF.

261
00:11:27,755 --> 00:11:30,690
I KNEW THAT. THAT'S WHY
IT'S DOUBLE-WRAPPED.

262
00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:40,801
A JEWELRY BOX? IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

263
00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:43,670
AH, BUT THERE'S MORE.
LIFT THE LID.

264
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:46,439
( melody tinkling )

265
00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:49,376
"CARELESS LOVE"? MY DAD
USED TO SING THAT TO ME.

266
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,378
THAT'S MY ALL-TIME
FAVORITE SONG.

267
00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:52,846
HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?

268
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:55,949
LET'S JUST SAY I PAY ATTENTION.

269
00:11:55,983 --> 00:11:57,851
I GUESS YOU DO.

270
00:11:57,885 --> 00:12:00,821
THIS IS SO ABSOLUTELY ME.

271
00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:02,956
I WASN'T EXPECTING
ANYTHING LIKE THIS.

272
00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:05,959
LOOK, AFTER THE FIRST
FEW TRIPS TO ITALY

273
00:12:05,993 --> 00:12:07,928
IT WON'T SEEM SO MARSLIKE, OKAY?

274
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:10,931
WE CAN MAKE A LONG-DISTANCE
RELATIONSHIP WORK. WHAT DO YOU SAY?

275
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,002
YES, A MILLION MILES OF YES.

276
00:12:25,512 --> 00:12:27,747
HOLLY WILL BE DOWN
IN JUST A MINUTE,

277
00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:31,418
WHICH WILL GIVE US A CHANCE TO GET
TO KNOW YOU A BIT BETTER, RYDER.

278
00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:32,820
OH GOOD.

279
00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:35,755
SO YOU'RE IN OUR LITTLE
GIRL'S ENGLISH CLASS.

280
00:12:35,789 --> 00:12:39,759
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THOSE WORDS
BEING TAKEN OUT OF "HUCK FINN"?

281
00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:42,863
I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

282
00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:44,764
I MEAN, I CAN SEE BOTH SIDES.

283
00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:47,467
WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?

284
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:50,303
JUSTIN BIEBER.

285
00:12:50,337 --> 00:12:53,373
WELL, THIS IS SO NICE...

286
00:12:53,406 --> 00:12:55,542
EVERYONE HERE GETTING ALONG.

287
00:12:57,811 --> 00:13:00,547
IS THAT YOUR AWFUL
ARTICHOKE DIP?

288
00:13:01,849 --> 00:13:03,783
I TOLD YOU, MOTHER,
NEVER TO PUT THAT OUT.

289
00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:05,318
I'M SORRY, KITTEN.

290
00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:07,387
OTHER PEOPLE LIKE IT,
BUT I'LL TAKE IT AWAY.

291
00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:09,823
YOU TOLD ME TO PUT IT OUT.

292
00:13:09,857 --> 00:13:12,492
I SAID NO SUCH THING.

293
00:13:14,394 --> 00:13:17,364
DADDY, ARE YOU WEARING
THAT COLOGNE AGAIN?

294
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:20,800
NO, I SWEAR. I THREW IT OUT.
THIS IS JUST SOAP.

295
00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:23,470
SO WHAT'S FOR DINNER?

296
00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:25,772
SHRIMP SCAMPI. I
HOPE YOU LIKE IT.

297
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:29,409
MOTHER, I HAD SHRIMP FOR LUNCH.

298
00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:32,379
( sighs ) FINE.

299
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:34,848
I'LL JUST GO GET SOMETHING
OUT OF THE FREEZER.

300
00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:43,390
RYDER, WE HAVE TO
TELL YOU SOMETHING.

301
00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:45,558
THANK YOU FOR GOING
OUT WITH HOLLY.

302
00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:48,528
SHE HAS BEEN SO MUCH SWEETER
SINCE SHE STARTED SEEING YOU.

303
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:51,298
SUCH A PLEASURE TO
HAVE AROUND THE HOUSE.

304
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:55,368
WE CALL YOU "THE
HOLLY WHISPERER."

305
00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:56,870
I'M JUST HER BOYFRIEND.

306
00:13:56,904 --> 00:14:00,307
YOU'RE JUST HER BOYFRIEND?

307
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:01,574
THAT'S VERY FUNNY.

308
00:14:01,608 --> 00:14:03,443
WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING ABOUT?

309
00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:07,414
WHO WAS LAUGHING, KITTEN?

310
00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:09,449
WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT
HOW MUCH WE MISSED YOU

311
00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:10,850
WHILE YOU WERE IN THE KITCHEN.

312
00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:13,386
AWW. ( giggles )

313
00:14:14,922 --> 00:14:17,424
WELL PLAYED.

314
00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:22,862
HEY.

315
00:14:22,896 --> 00:14:24,831
HEY, IS NEXT YEAR A
LEAP YEAR OR NOT?

316
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,399
YEAH, I THINK IT IS.

317
00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:28,568
WHOO-HOO! I GET AN EXTRA DAY.

318
00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:30,570
WE ALL GET AN EXTRA DAY, MEL.

319
00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:32,572
NO NO NO, THIS IS
THE MASTER CALENDAR

320
00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:34,841
OF MY LIFE FOR THE NEXT
SIX TO EIGHT MONTHS.

321
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:37,577
- OH, WHAT ARE ALL THE LITTLE STARS?
- OH, THOSE ARE TRAVEL DAYS.

322
00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:40,480
- AND THE HEARTS?
- OH, THOSE ARE THE DAYS GEORGE AND I ARE TOGETHER.

323
00:14:40,513 --> 00:14:42,849
SEE, RED IS FOR TOLEDO
AND BLUE IS FOR ITALY.

324
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:46,386
- WHAT ABOUT THE SMILEY FACES?
- WHAT DO YOU THINK?

325
00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:48,421
YOU KNOW, IT'S
REALLY VERY SIMPLE.

326
00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:50,590
IF I LEAVE WORK
NEXT FRIDAY AT 4:30

327
00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:53,426
AND DRIVE TWO HOURS TO CLEVELAND, I
CAN CATCH A NIGHT FLIGHT TO PHILLY,

328
00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:55,428
GRAB A CHEESESTEAK, TAKE
A RED-EYE TO MUNICH,

329
00:14:55,462 --> 00:14:58,398
WHICH GIVES ME JUST ENOUGH TIME FOR A
QUICK SCHNITZEL BEFORE LANDING IN MILAN.

330
00:14:58,431 --> 00:15:01,334
WHERE YOU'LL GET ANOTHER
QUICK SCHNITZEL.

331
00:15:01,368 --> 00:15:04,471
I'M NOT DONE YET. AFTER 48
HOURS OF I-MISS-YOU SEX...

332
00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:06,439
MY FAVORITE KIND...

333
00:15:06,473 --> 00:15:08,441
I HOP THREE MORE PLANES,
PICK UP NINE HOURS,

334
00:15:08,475 --> 00:15:11,311
AND I'M BACK IN TIME FOR RYDER'S
PARENT-TEACHER CONFERENCE.

335
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:13,313
SO WHAT HAPPENS TO
THE WHOLE HOUSE HERE

336
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:16,583
WHEN YOU'RE OFF, YOU KNOW, ON
MEL BURKE'S AMAZING SEX RACE?

337
00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:18,585
I'VE TALKED TO RYDER AND
LENNOX AND THEY UNDERSTAND

338
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:20,487
THAT I'LL MISS A COUPLE
OF HOURS HERE AND THERE.

339
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,389
- A COUPLE HOURS?
- DAYS, WHATEVER.

340
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:23,590
THEY GET IT. THEY'RE
COOL WITH IT.

341
00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:26,359
BESIDES, YOU'LL BE HERE. YOU'RE
IN CHARGE OF EVERYTHING.

342
00:15:26,393 --> 00:15:28,628
OH, SO THAT'S IT THEN? I JUST
TAKE CONTROL OF EVERYTHING...

343
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:30,530
THE WHOLE HOUSE DEAL,
THE WHOLE KIDS DEAL?

344
00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:32,432
SO WHAT, AM I GONNA
SLAP ON A BLOND WIG

345
00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:34,401
AND GO DOWN TO CITY HALL
AND VOTE FOR YOU TOO?

346
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:36,569
NO, MY TRIP WEEKS
ARE RECESS WEEKS.

347
00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:38,571
LOOK, GEORGE AND I SAID
WE'D MAKE IT WORK.

348
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:41,441
AND, HELLO... PROOF.

349
00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:43,910
RELATIONSHIPS ARE
PRETTY TRICKY, MEL.

350
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,646
IT'S HARD TO SQUEEZE THEM INTO
LITTLE 12-HOUR PACKETS OF TIME.

351
00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:48,548
- WHAT?
- ALL I'M SAYING IS,

352
00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:50,617
YOU KNOW, YOU CAN'T LIVE
YOUR LIFE ON PAPER.

353
00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:56,323
AUNT MEL, I THOUGHT YOU'D BE AT THE
AIRPORT SAYING GOODBYE TO GEORGE.

354
00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:57,524
OH, WE SAID GOODBYE THIS MORNING

355
00:15:57,557 --> 00:15:59,392
AND I HAD TO WORK ON
THE MASTER CALENDAR.

356
00:15:59,426 --> 00:16:01,394
BUT DON'T YOU WANT TO GIVE
HIM ONE OF THOSE BIG,

357
00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:03,696
ROMANTIC MOVIE-STYLE
GOODBYES TO SEND HIM OFF?

358
00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:05,632
I HATE SEEING PEOPLE
AT THE AIRPORT

359
00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:07,634
DOING THOSE BIG, LONG, MUSHY GOODBYES.
YOU KNOW...

360
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:11,604
"OH, LOOK AT US. WE'RE SO IN LOVE.
WE'RE BETTER THAN YOU."

361
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:15,408
YEAH, BUT THIS IS YOUR TURN TO
ACTUALLY BE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE,

362
00:16:15,442 --> 00:16:17,410
GRAB HIM AND GIVE HIM
A KISS THAT SAYS,

363
00:16:17,444 --> 00:16:19,412
"TO HELL WITH THOSE
HOT ITALIAN MODELS.

364
00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:22,382
THIS IS WHAT'S WAITING
FOR YOU BACK HOME."

365
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:24,384
OH MY GOD, YOU'RE RIGHT.

366
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,553
WE ARE IN LOVE AND WE
ARE BETTER THAN YOU.

367
00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:28,621
I GOTTA GO.

368
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:31,324
OH WAIT, I SHOULD
BRUSH MY TEETH.

369
00:16:31,358 --> 00:16:32,692
- THERE'S NO TIME.
- YOU'RE RIGHT.

370
00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:34,694
YOU KNOW WHAT? THERE IS AN AIR
FRESHENER ON THE REARVIEW MIRROR.

371
00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:36,729
I'LL SUCK ON IT.

372
00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:41,701
EXCUSE ME. PARDON ME. SORRY.

373
00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:44,471
GIRLFRIEND COMING THROUGH.
I JUST... I JUST...

374
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:45,705
I HAVE A BOYFRIEND EMERGENCY.

375
00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:47,574
GEORGE, WAIT.

376
00:16:47,607 --> 00:16:48,708
MEL?

377
00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:50,410
DON'T GO ANYWHERE. STAY THERE.

378
00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:52,545
MISS, YOUR TICKET.

379
00:16:52,579 --> 00:16:54,547
I'M JUST HERE TO SAY
GOODBYE TO MY BOYFRIEND

380
00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:57,717
AND I HAVE TO GIVE HIM, YOU
KNOW, THE PROPER GOODBYE KISS.

381
00:16:57,750 --> 00:17:00,353
OH, HONEY, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO CONVINCE ME.

382
00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:02,589
WE HAVE A WHOLE SPECIAL AREA
JUST FOR PEOPLE IN LOVE.

383
00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:05,525
- REALLY?
- NO.

384
00:17:05,558 --> 00:17:08,561
YOU'RE THAT CITY
COUNCILWOMAN, AREN'T YOU?

385
00:17:08,595 --> 00:17:12,399
YOU CUT THE RIBBON FOR THE
NEW BAGGAGE CLAIM TERMINAL.

386
00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:14,667
DON'T WORRY, I'M NOT CARRYING
MY GIANT SCISSORS ON ME TODAY.

387
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,536
YOU CAN FEEL ME UP.

388
00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:18,538
WOULD IT BE OKAY IF...?

389
00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:21,408
- THAT YOUNG ONE RIGHT THERE?
- YEAH.

390
00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:24,644
GOOD FOR YOU, GIRL.
GO RIGHT ON THROUGH.

391
00:17:26,613 --> 00:17:28,581
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- I JUST CAME BY

392
00:17:28,615 --> 00:17:31,351
TO GIVE YOU AN OFFICIAL
MIND-BLOWING GOODBYE KISS.

393
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:33,586
WARNING: YOU MAY
EXPERIENCE SOME DIZZINESS.

394
00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:39,459
LOOK AT THAT. AREN'T THEY SWEET?

395
00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:41,361
OH, Y'ALL ARE A CYNICAL GROUP.

396
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:43,596
THERE'S ABOUT TO BE SOME
SERIOUS WANDING UP IN HERE.

397
00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:49,669
AH, WELL, NOW YOU CAN GO.

398
00:17:49,702 --> 00:17:52,505
NOW?

399
00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:54,474
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO
LEAVE YOU AFTER THAT?

400
00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:57,444
THAT'S THE POINT OF IT, YOU KNOW, TO
GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT.

401
00:17:57,477 --> 00:17:59,612
WELL, IT DID. I'M THINKING I
SHOULDN'T GET ON THIS PLANE.

402
00:17:59,646 --> 00:18:02,382
- ARE YOU KIDDING?
- NO, I'M NOT.

403
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:04,484
THIS IS YOUR BIG BREAK,
THE CHANCE OF A LIFETIME.

404
00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:06,686
YEAH, BUT I HAVE A CHANCE
OF A LIFETIME RIGHT HERE.

405
00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:10,723
MILAN IS JUST A BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY.
THERE'LL BE ANOTHER ONE.

406
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:13,660
WAIT, YOU WOULD GIVE UP MILAN
AND EVERYTHING FOR ME?

407
00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:14,727
THAT'S CRAZY.

408
00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:16,763
WELL, MAYBE I'M CRAZY.

409
00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:20,567
I'M NOT GOING.

410
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,735
OKAY, YOU'RE JUST A LITTLE
CONFUSED BECAUSE I KISS SO GOOD.

411
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:25,638
GEORGE, THIS IS A TURNING
POINT IN YOUR LIFE.

412
00:18:25,672 --> 00:18:27,640
YOU MAY NOT KNOWN
THAT, BUT I DO,

413
00:18:27,674 --> 00:18:31,444
BECAUSE, WELL, I'VE GOT A FEW
YEARS' EXPERIENCE ON YOU...

414
00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:33,446
ONE OR TWO. LET'S NOT COUNT.

415
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:36,649
BUT, YOU KNOW, I'VE GOT MY DREAM
JOB AND THIS COULD BE YOURS.

416
00:18:36,683 --> 00:18:39,652
AND IF WE, YOU
KNOW, TRY TOO HARD

417
00:18:39,686 --> 00:18:42,489
TO KEEP THIS THING GOING,
SOMEBODY COULD GET HURT.

418
00:18:42,522 --> 00:18:44,491
WELL, WHAT ABOUT OUR SCHEDULE

419
00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:47,360
WHERE I FLY TO YOU
AND YOU FLY TO ME?

420
00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:48,495
THAT'LL NEVER WORK.

421
00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:50,497
GEORGE, YOU CAN'T LIVE
YOUR LIFE ON PAPER.

422
00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:52,665
DON'T YOU WANT US
TO BE TOGETHER?

423
00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:55,602
OF COURSE. BUT YOUR PROJECT
COULD BE A BIG SUCCESS.

424
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:59,439
AND SIX MONTHS COULD TURN
INTO A YEAR OR TWO YEARS.

425
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:02,375
I'M SAYING GO. HAVE YOUR LIFE.

426
00:19:02,409 --> 00:19:05,412
AND WHEN YOU GET
BACK, LOOK ME UP

427
00:19:05,445 --> 00:19:08,381
AND WE'LL SEE WHERE WE ARE.

428
00:19:08,415 --> 00:19:09,716
HOW ABOUT A GOODBYE KISS?

429
00:19:12,419 --> 00:19:14,654
LET'S CALL IT A TILL-THEN KISS.

430
00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:21,394
NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M
TALKING ABOUT.

431
00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:26,566
- HEY.
- HEY THERE.

432
00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:29,402
SO I FIGURED YOU'D BE SAD AFTER
YOUR LONG GOODBYE WITH GEORGE,

433
00:19:29,436 --> 00:19:31,404
SO I MADE SOME
SWEET-POTATO GNOCCHI

434
00:19:31,438 --> 00:19:33,606
WITH SOME BROWN SUGAR AND
A LITTLE BUTTER AND SAGE,

435
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:35,442
'CAUSE I KNOW IT'S
SOMEBODY'S FAVORITE.

436
00:19:35,475 --> 00:19:39,379
OH, THAT'S REALLY
NICE, BUT NOT HUNGRY.

437
00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:41,381
OH, COME ON, HE'S GONNA
BE BACK IN THREE WEEKS.

438
00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:42,649
IT SAYS SO ON YOUR CALENDAR.

439
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:45,685
IT'S THE BOX WITH ALL THE
RAINBOWS AND THE SPARKLES.

440
00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:48,521
WELL, THERE'S NOT GONNA BE
ANY RAINBOWS AND SPARKLES.

441
00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:50,523
I LET GEORGE GO...

442
00:19:50,557 --> 00:19:51,758
COMPLETELY. IT'S OVER.

443
00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:53,693
OH.

444
00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:55,695
I'M SORRY.

445
00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:58,698
YEAH WELL, I CAN'T JUST BE FLYING
BACK AND FORTH TO EUROPE ON A WHIM

446
00:19:58,731 --> 00:20:01,468
BECAUSE SOME SWEET, WONDERFUL
GUY LIKES ME, YOU KNOW.

447
00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:03,670
I'M NOT 24. I'VE
GOT MY LIFE HERE

448
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:08,408
WITH MY JOB AND THE
KIDS AND THIS HOUSE.

449
00:20:08,441 --> 00:20:10,577
SO THAT'S IT FOR JUNIOR?

450
00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:13,680
OH, I HOPE I DIDN'T
MAKE A BIG MISTAKE.

451
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:17,384
YOU KNOW, WHAT IF HE
WAS THE ONE, JOE?

452
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:21,721
WHO ELSE COULD HAVE FOUND
SOMETHING SO PERFECTLY ME?

453
00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:25,492
YOU KNOW, SOME GUYS ARE
JUST LUCKY GUESSERS.

454
00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:27,760
( tune tinkling )

455
00:20:42,609 --> 00:20:44,577
SO, HOLLY, ARE YOU GONNA
BE JOINING US FOR DINNER?

456
00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:47,280
- NO, I HAVE TO GET HOME.
- OH, THAT'S GREAT.

457
00:20:48,515 --> 00:20:51,351
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE...

458
00:20:51,384 --> 00:20:53,353
YOU HAVE PARENTS THAT LOVE YOU,

459
00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:55,655
SO YOU DON'T REALLY HAVE
TO GET THAT LOVE HERE.

460
00:20:59,326 --> 00:21:02,295
DO YOU HAVE TO WRITE SO LOUD?

461
00:21:02,329 --> 00:21:05,365
IF YOU CAN'T WRITE SOFTER,
JUST DON'T WRITE AT ALL.

462
00:21:05,398 --> 00:21:08,301
YEAH, SURE, I'LL JUST
TAKE MENTAL NOTES...

463
00:21:08,335 --> 00:21:10,503
VERY QUIET MENTAL NOTES.

464
00:21:10,537 --> 00:21:12,505
IT'S LIKE WATCHING ONE
OF THOSE NATURE SHOWS,

465
00:21:12,539 --> 00:21:15,442
YOU KNOW, WHERE THE LIONESS TAKES
DOWN THE DEFENSELESS BABY ZEBRA.

466
00:21:15,475 --> 00:21:18,277
EXCEPT IT'S OVER
QUICK FOR THE ZEBRA.

467
00:21:18,311 --> 00:21:19,546
( phone chimes )

468
00:21:19,579 --> 00:21:21,548
- WHO'S BEEN TEXTING YOU ALL DAY?
- NOBODY. NO ONE.

469
00:21:21,581 --> 00:21:23,583
MY MOTHER IS SENDING YOU
PICTURES OF COOKIES?

470
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:26,252
- NO, STOP SCROLLING.
- IS THIS HER FRIED CHICKEN?

471
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,254
IT MEANS NOTHING TO ME.

472
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,490
SHE'S BRIBING YOU WITH FOOD SO
YOU'LL KEEP GOING OUT WITH ME?

473
00:21:30,523 --> 00:21:32,459
THAT'S JUST CRAZY.

474
00:21:32,492 --> 00:21:35,428
I NEED TO SPEAK WITH
YOU IN PRIVATE.

475
00:21:42,669 --> 00:21:44,637
( theme music playing )