1
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:09,310
"MELISSA AND JOEY" IS RECORDED IN
FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.

2
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AND NOW ONE FOR
MY GRANDDAUGHTER.

3
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WHAT FORMER U.S.
SENATOR SPONSORED

4
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THE LANDMARK CONSUMER CREDIT
PROTECTION ACT OF 1996?

5
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WAS IT RUSSELL BURKE OF OHIO?

6
00:00:20,288 --> 00:00:23,491
IT WAS. CORRECT FOR $10.

7
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NOW, RYDER, WHAT
MIDWESTERN CONGRESSMAN

8
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DEFIED THE ODDS BY BEING
ELECTED TO THE...

9
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YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU.

10
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UH, RUSSELL BURKE OF OHIO.

11
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BEFORE I EVEN FINISHED
THE QUESTION.

12
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A GOLDEN BOY.

13
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YOU KNOW, THIS HAS BEEN THE BEST THREE
HOURS I'VE EVER SPENT WITH MY DAD,

14
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EXCEPT FOR THE TIME HE HAD
THAT HEAD INJURY WHILE SKIING.

15
00:00:42,176 --> 00:00:44,578
BUT THEN HE REGAINED
CONSCIOUSNESS.

16
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I HAVE TO SAY, THIS TRIP
HE HAS BEEN SUPERSWEET.

17
00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:49,317
YEAH, WHAT DO YOU
THINK IS UP WITH HIM?

18
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WHY DOES ANYTHING HAVE
TO BE UP WITH HIM?

19
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WHY CAN'T A GUY JUST COME
AND ENJOY HIS DAUGHTER

20
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AND HIS GRANDKIDS WITHOUT
HAVING AN ULTERIOR MOTIVE?

21
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I DON'T KNOW, I'M JUST GETTING THIS VERY
KIND OF COLD, ITCHY FEELING ABOUT HIM.

22
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OKAY, IF THAT'S ANOTHER
ONE OF YOUR HINTS

23
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ABOUT ME GIVING YOU
HEALTH BENEFITS, NO.

24
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YOU KNOW, I THINK I'M GONNA TELL HIM TO
FORGET ABOUT THE HOTEL AND STAY HERE.

25
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WAIT A MINUTE, BACK UP. THREE HOURS
WITHOUT AN EXPLOSION BETWEEN YOU TWO

26
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AND NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN HE
CAN STAY HERE ALL WEEK LONG?

27
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I'M BARELY GONNA BE HERE. I
MEAN I'VE GOT COUNCIL HEARINGS

28
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EVERY NIGHT THIS WEEK
ON THAT RAILYARD THING.

29
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HOW NICE, YOU GET TO BE
DOWNTOWN AT FANCY HEARINGS

30
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AND I'M STUCK HERE AT THE
HOUSE SENATOR-SITTING.

31
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OH, COME ON, JOE. LET HIM STAY.

32
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YOU'RE REALLY SO CUTE THE WAY YOU ACT
AS IF I ACTUALLY HAVE A SAY IN THIS.

33
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NO MORE WINE FOR ME. BIG
DRIVE TO THE HOTEL.

34
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ESPECIALLY SINCE I HAVE TO
TAKE THE LONG WAY AROUND

35
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TO AVOID THE SOBRIETY
CHECKPOINTS.

36
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DADDY, ABOUT THAT, I WAS
THINKING THAT MAYBE YOU COULD...

37
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WHY I'D BE DELIGHTED
TO STAY HERE.

38
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OH, BEFORE I EVEN
FINISH THE QUESTION.

39
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WELL, I'M A GOLDEN BOY.

40
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CAR'S OUTSIDE. TWO LOUIS
VUITTON BAGS IN THE TRUNK.

41
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I'LL TELL THE BELLMAN.

42
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( theme music playing )

43
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- ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD
- ♪ ALL GOOD

44
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- ♪ IT'S OKAY
- ♪ OKAY

45
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- ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT
- ♪ ALL RIGHT

46
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♪ AS FAR AS I CAN SEE

47
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- ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD
- ♪ ALL GOOD

48
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- ♪ IT'S OKAY
- ♪ OKAY

49
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,724
- ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT
- ♪ ALL RIGHT

50
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♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK ♪

51
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♪ WITH ME ♪

52
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- SO HOW'S THE WIFE, SENATOR?
- WHO?

53
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OH, SHE'S, UM...

54
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SHE'S FINE.

55
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YOU MIGHT THINK TWICE IF "60
MINUTES" ASKS YOU FOR AN INTERVIEW.

56
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LOOK AT THIS. LOOK AT THIS.

57
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I GOT THREE POEMS PUBLISHED.

58
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HOW'D YOU GET THREE POEMS
ON THAT ITTY-BITTY PHONE?

59
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IT'S THE SCHOOL LITERARY BLOG.

60
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AND I'M THE ONLY PERSON
WHO GOT THAT MANY IN.

61
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WOW, THAT'S GREAT. LET ME SEE.

62
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"DEAD LEAVES, DEAD HEART,"

63
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"WAITING FOR THE END,"
"BLOOD IS THE NEW BLACK."

64
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WOW, I'M SO PROUD AND
POSSIBLY WORRIED.

65
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I LIKE TO WORK DARK.

66
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YES YOU DO. NICE GOING, HONEY.

67
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BACK IN MY DAY THIS WAS
CALLED A MOM PROBLEM.

68
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- ( phone rings )
- OH, THAT'S ME.

69
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SO GLAD YOU CALLED.

70
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YEAH, I CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW.

71
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WOW, LOOK AT THE TIME. HEY,
I'LL SEE YOU ALL LATER ON.

72
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WHERE YOU HEADED, RUSSELL?

73
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OUT AND ABOUT, JOSEPH.
OUT AND ABOUT.

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HEY, WHEN MY FATHER IS IN
TOWN WITHOUT MY MOTHER

75
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IT'S NEVER A GOOD IDEA
TO ASK WHERE HE'S GOING.

76
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- GOT IT. BE ALWAYS
BE FAMILY FRIENDLY.

77
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WHAT PART OF "I GOT
IT" WAS NOT CLEAR?

78
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WELL, IT'S JUST THAT HE
HAS A TENDENCY... JOE?

79
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IT'S OKAY, KEEP TALKING.

80
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THIS IS LIKE A HUGE TURNING
POINT IN YOUR LIFE.

81
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NO IT'S NOT. IT'S JUST A TEXT.

82
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NO NO, IT'S A HUGE TEXT.

83
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I'M GONNA TAKE A PICTURE
OF YOU READING IT.

84
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AUNT MEL WILL UNDERSTAND
HOW BIG THIS IS.

85
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THIS IS ENORMOUS. THIS IS EPIC.

86
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- GO.
- I GOT A TEXT.

87
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( gasps ) SHUT UP!

88
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SO WHAT ARE WE
FREAKING OUT ABOUT?

89
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THERE'S THIS GIRL AT SCHOOL...
JADE GILLIS.

90
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NO, SHE'S NOT JUST THIS GIRL.
SHE'S THE GIRL.

91
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SHE'S POPULAR AMONG THE MASSES.

92
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OH, SO WHY IS SHE TEXTING YOU?

93
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I MEAN, WHY IS SHE TEXTING YOU?

94
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BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO BE
A SINGER-SONGWRITER.

95
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YEAH, AND SHE READ MY SISTER
LENNOX'S POEMS ON THE BLOG.

96
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AND NOW SHE WANTS MY SISTER
HER LYRICS.ELP HER WRITE

97
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THIS IS AMAZING.

98
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AND LENNOX IS GONNA SAY YES.

99
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ONLY BECAUSE IT WOULD
AGAINST THE POPULARS.MINATE

100
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OH GOOD, IT'S ABOUT
TIME SOMEONE STOOD UP

101
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FOR THE WELL-LIKED
GLAMOROUS PEOPLE.

102
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YEAH.

103
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QUICK, TEXT HER BACK BEFORE SHE
ASKS SOME OTHER ARTSY FREAK.

104
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OKAY, FINE.

105
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OH MY GOD, JADE GILLIS IS
GONNA COME OVER TO MY HOUSE.

106
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WHAT AM I GONNA WEAR?

107
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WE OUGHT TO BE ABLE TO ABLE TO
DECIDE WHAT TO DO WITH CITY PROPERTY

108
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WITHOUT INTERFERENCE FROM
A BUNCH OF SOCCER MOMS.

109
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NO OFFENSE TO ANY OF
YOU FEMALE LADIES.

110
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LOOK, STEPHANIE. I
SEE DEAD PEOPLE.

111
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BUT SERIOUSLY, IF HE'S THE
BEST THEIR SIDE'S GOT,

112
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FRIDAY'S VOTE WON'T
EVEN BE CLOSE.

113
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TOLEDO HAS PLENTY
OF OUTDOOR SPACE.

114
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WHAT WE NEED IS A PARKING LOT,

115
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NOT A LOT OF PARKS.

116
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- DO WE HAVE TO STAY FOR THIS?
- YES, I HAVE TO SHOW RESPECT.

117
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( chuckles ) DOESN'T HIS
CHIN LOOK LIKE A BUTT?

118
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- ( doorbell rings )
- YUP.

119
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- HEY.
- PACKAGE FOR SENATOR BURKE.

120
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YOU MEAN COUNCILWOMAN BURKE?

121
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NO NO, SENATOR RUSSELL BURKE.

122
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SEN... OH, THAT'S
FROM CITY HALL.

123
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- I'LL TAKE THAT TO HIM.
- NO NO NO, HE NEEDS TO SIGN FOR IT HIMSELF.

124
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- IT'S CONFIDENTIAL.
- ABSOLUTELY. OF COURSE IT'S CONFIDENTIAL.

125
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THAT'S WHY THEY GAVE IT TO
YOU, BECAUSE THEY TRUST YOU.

126
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AS A MATTER OF FACT, I WAS JUST TALKING
TO YOUR BOSS YESTERDAY ABOUT YOU.

127
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UM, HELP ME OUT WITH HIS NAME.
IT'S JUST SO HARD TO PRONOUNCE.

128
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:43,944
COUNCILMAN WALKEN.

129
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WA-WALKEN, YES.

130
00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:50,951
YES, AND THIS IS ABOUT THE...

131
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I'M DRAWING A BLANK HERE. I
HAVEN'T HAD MY COFFEE YET.

132
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- PLANS FOR THE RAILYARD.
- YEAH, SHH. DON'T SAY THAT OUT LOUD.

133
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GET IN HERE. ALL RIGHT, SHOW ME.

134
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I NEVER LEAVE THE DRIVE-THRU WITHOUT
MAKING SURE MY FRIES ARE IN THE BAG FIRST.

135
00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:04,665
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? LET'S
SEE WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.

136
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WHAT HAVE WE GOT? OKAY,
"PROPOSED PARKING LOT PLAN."

137
00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:09,537
"TALKING POINTS FOR
SENATOR BURKE."

138
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:11,839
EXACTLY WHAT I WAS SUSPECTING...

139
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,907
UH, EXPECTING. VERY NICE WORK, SON.
THANK YOU.

140
00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:16,477
- SO CAN YOU HAVE HIM SIGN FOR IT NOW?
- ABSOLUTELY, OF COURSE.

141
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HAVE I EVER LET YOU DOWN? HAVE
A VERY NICE DAY. BYE-BYE.

142
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OH, HEY THERE, RUSSELL. OH,
THAT PACKAGE CAME FOR YOU.

143
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:39,933
INTERESTINGLY IT'S FROM
COUNCILMAN WALKEN.

144
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IS IT? WELL, THANK YOU, JOSEPH.

145
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QUICK QUESTION THERE
FOR YOU, SENATOR.

146
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ARE YOU BY ANY CHANCE
WORKING FOR THE OTHER SIDE?

147
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THE SIDE THAT'S AGAINST
YOUR DAUGHTER?

148
00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:52,045
JOE, I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU.

149
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:55,148
IS THERE ANYMORE OF
THAT SWEET LASAGNA

150
00:06:55,182 --> 00:06:57,785
YOU WHIPPED UP FOR
US LAST NIGHT?

151
00:06:57,818 --> 00:06:59,653
YOU KNOW, SENATOR,
YOUR DAUGHTER THOUGHT

152
00:06:59,687 --> 00:07:02,022
THIS PLEASANT VISIT WAS
JUST A PLEASANT VISIT.

153
00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:04,892
YOU REALLY NEED TO
TELL HER THE TRUTH.

154
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,460
YOU KNOW WHAT THE
TRUTH IS, RIGHT?

155
00:07:06,494 --> 00:07:08,929
IT'S THAT LITTLE THING YOU
LIKE TO DANCE AROUND.

156
00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:11,098
Mel: ANYBODY HOME?

157
00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:13,400
- IN HERE.
- NOW'S YOUR CHANCE.

158
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,402
YOU'RE LIKE A DOG WITH A
BONE, AREN'T YOU, JOE?

159
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,404
- YES I AM.
- HEY, DADDY.

160
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,773
HEY, LITTLE GIRL.
I'VE GOT TO RUN.

161
00:07:19,807 --> 00:07:22,042
- I GOT A RENDEZVOUS AT THE HIATT.
- I DON'T NEED TO KNOW.

162
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:24,845
- MEL, ACTUALLY THIS TIME YOU MIGHT WANT TO...
- YOU HEARD HER, JOE.

163
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:28,549
RESPECT THE LADY. I'LL SEE
YOU BOTH AT DINNERTIME.

164
00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:35,055
YOU KNOW, I GUESS I JUST HAD TO
GROW UP AND GET OVER MY CRAP

165
00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:37,791
JUST TO SEE HOW
CHARMING MY FATHER IS.

166
00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:41,094
GUESS THAT DEPENDS ON WHAT
YOUR DEFINITION OF "IS" IS.

167
00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:52,873
HEY, MEL, I NEED TO TELL YOU WHO YOUR
FATHER IS ACTUALLY MEETING WITH RIGHT NOW.

168
00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:56,744
AS LONG AS IT'S NONE OF MY HIGH
SCHOOL GIRLFRIENDS, I'M OKAY.

169
00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:58,579
NO, HE'S ACTUALLY
GOING TO THE HIATT

170
00:07:58,612 --> 00:08:00,881
TO MEET WITH COUNCILMAN WALKEN.

171
00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:02,716
I THINK THEY'RE IN BED TOGETHER.

172
00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:06,954
OKAY, PLEASE TELL ME THAT
BY "IN BED TOGETHER"

173
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:10,057
YOU MEAN HE'S ACTUALLY HAVING
SEX WITH COUNCILMAN WALKEN.

174
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:12,860
AS NICE AS THAT
SOUNDS, NO SUCH LUCK.

175
00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:16,029
OH MY GOD. RUSSELL IS THE EXPERT
WITNESS THEY'RE BRINGING IN.

176
00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:17,831
I THOUGHT THAT WAS A BLUFF.

177
00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:20,100
THIS IS BAD. MY DAD
CAN DO REAL DAMAGE.

178
00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:21,501
WHY? WHO CARES WHAT HE THINKS?

179
00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:23,571
HELLO, IN THIS CITY HE'S BELOVED

180
00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:25,939
AND ADORED. HE'S BEDORED.

181
00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:28,542
I MEAN, WHO COMES PURPOSELY

182
00:08:28,576 --> 00:08:30,177
TO THEIR DAUGHTER'S WORK
TO MAKE HER LOOK BAD?

183
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:32,179
ARE WE PLAYING THAT GAME AGAIN

184
00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:34,247
WHERE EVERY ANSWER IS
RUSSELL BURKE OF OHIO?

185
00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:41,188
LOOK LOOK, HE'S JUST
ONE OF THOSE GUYS

186
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:43,156
WHO CAN SEPARATE
FAMILY AND BUSINESS.

187
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:46,493
HE'S LIKE A MAFIA GUY. HE CAN BITE
THE EAR OFF SOMEONE IN THE AFTERNOON

188
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:49,930
AND COME HOME AND KISS HIS
CHILDREN WITH THE SAME MOUTH.

189
00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:54,067
OKAY, PUTTING ASIDE FOR A SECOND
HOW ODD YOUR UPBRINGING WAS...

190
00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:56,169
THINGS WERE GOING SO GREAT.

191
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:59,206
WE WERE CLOSE. WE WERE AFFECTIONATE.
WE WERE BONDING.

192
00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:00,874
I'M GONNA KILL HIM!

193
00:09:00,908 --> 00:09:04,011
YEAH OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? AS
GOOD OF AN IDEA AS THAT MAY BE,

194
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,879
LET'S JUST PUT A PIN
IN THAT FOR A SECOND

195
00:09:05,913 --> 00:09:08,816
AND SEE IF WE CAN COME UP WITH
SOMETHING A LITTLE LESS MURDERY.

196
00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:11,752
LOOK, IF YOU WANT TO CONFRONT
HIM, YOU HAVE TO DO IT HIS WAY.

197
00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:14,588
- AND IF YOU START RANTING...
- I DO NOT RANT.

198
00:09:14,622 --> 00:09:16,690
YEAH, OKAY.

199
00:09:16,724 --> 00:09:18,592
ALL RIGHT, BUT LET'S
JUST SAY THE WORLD WERE

200
00:09:18,626 --> 00:09:20,628
TO SPIN BACKWARDS AND
YOU DID HAPPEN TO RANT.

201
00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:23,196
HE WOULD DISMISS YOU AS A
HYSTERICAL LITTLE GIRL, OKAY?

202
00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:26,634
LOOK, THIS IS BUSINESS. YOU
NEED TO BE CALM, COLD.

203
00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:28,301
VERY VERY RUSSELL,

204
00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:30,604
IF YOU, YOU KNOW, THINK
THAT YOU CAN DO THAT.

205
00:09:30,638 --> 00:09:33,741
OH, I CAN DO THAT. BUT BACK
TO THE RANTING THING, OKAY?

206
00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:36,143
I DO NOT RANT. I MEAN, SOMETIMES
MAYBE I GET A LITTLE EXCITABLE

207
00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:39,012
AND I MIGHT RATTLE OFF A LIST OF
GRIEVANCES, CONCERNS, OBSERVATIONS

208
00:09:39,046 --> 00:09:41,782
IN A VERY ENTHUSIASTIC MANNER,
BUT THAT IS NOT RANTING.

209
00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:43,617
I MEAN, I DON'T...
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

210
00:09:43,651 --> 00:09:45,653
I'M GONNA LISTEN TO YOU WHILE
I GO PICK UP THE KIDS.

211
00:09:47,888 --> 00:09:49,757
I DON'T FIND THIS AMUSING.

212
00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:54,027
♪ SHOES AND PURSES,
SHOES AND PURSES ♪

213
00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:57,064
♪ THANK YOU, GOD, FOR
SHOES AND PURSES ♪

214
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:59,232
- ♪ SHOES AND PURSES...
- OKAY. OKAY.

215
00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:01,334
I SEE WHERE YOU'RE
GOING WITH THAT.

216
00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:05,038
BUT MAYBE TAP INTO A MORE
PAINFUL TIME IN YOUR LIFE.

217
00:10:05,072 --> 00:10:08,308
AND I DON'T MEAN WHEN THE
SHOE STORES ARE CLOSED.

218
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:10,878
TELL YOU WHAT, HOW ABOUT I
JUST JOT A COUPLE THINGS DOWN?

219
00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:13,080
YO, LENNOX. I'M GONNA
GO TO LACROSSE PRACTICE

220
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,782
WITH MY BOYS FROM
THE LACROSSE TEAM

221
00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:18,752
OVER AT THE LACROSSE COURT.

222
00:10:18,786 --> 00:10:21,021
JADE, RIGHT?

223
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:22,790
I'M RYDER.

224
00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:24,191
IS YOUR NOSE BLEEDING?

225
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:25,959
( chuckles )

226
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,062
OH MY GOD!

227
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,901
OKAY, HOW ABOUT THIS?

228
00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:35,903
HOW WOULD I SING THIS?

229
00:10:35,936 --> 00:10:38,305
( strumming )

230
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:44,277
♪ YOU CARVED YOUR INITIALS
ON MY WOUNDED HEART ♪

231
00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:49,917
♪ YOU LEFT SCARS THAT WON'T
HEAL AND NOW WE'RE APART ♪

232
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:53,353
♪ DON'T THINK YOU
CAN COME BACK ♪

233
00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:56,289
♪ AND RECLAIM YOUR PRIZE

234
00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:59,026
♪ IT'S OVER, I'M DONE

235
00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:04,031
♪ A LONG LIST OF GOODBYES. ♪

236
00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:07,801
WOW, YOUR LITTLE
TWEAKS REALLY HELPED.

237
00:11:09,069 --> 00:11:11,004
YEAH YEAH, YOU KNOW,
SOME LITTLE TWEAKS

238
00:11:11,038 --> 00:11:13,040
AND SOME BIGGER TWEAKS.

239
00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:15,142
I COULD SO SING
THIS AT MY PARTY.

240
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,777
YOU SHOULD COME. WOULD YOU COME?

241
00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:19,880
OH, LET ME THINK ABOUT IT. OKAY.

242
00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:23,350
GOOD. OH, COULD YOU BE MY BESTIE
AND GET ME A HOT CUP OF TEA?

243
00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:25,352
SURE.

244
00:11:29,857 --> 00:11:33,260
HEY, I COULDN'T HELP BUT OVERHEAR
HOW UNTALENTED YOUR FRIEND IS.

245
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:38,065
NO NO, SHE'S JUST REALLY, UM...

246
00:11:38,098 --> 00:11:40,768
POPULAR?

247
00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:42,235
SO WHAT'S THE DEAL
HERE, LENNOX, HUH?

248
00:11:42,269 --> 00:11:44,137
WHAT, YOU'RE GONNA
REWRITE ALL OF HER SONGS

249
00:11:44,171 --> 00:11:46,173
AND SHE'S GONNA ALLOW
YOU TO GET HER SOME TEA

250
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:48,408
AND MAYBE EVEN INVITE YOU
TO ONE OF HER PARTIES?

251
00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:50,377
IT'S NOT LIKE THAT.

252
00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:52,279
OKAY YEAH, IT'S PRETTY
MUCH JUST LIKE THAT.

253
00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:54,982
HEY, I'VE ONLY BEEN AT
THIS SCHOOL A FEW MONTHS.

254
00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:58,185
- I'M TRYING TO MAKE FRIENDS.
- Jade: MAKE SURE IT'S HERBAL!

255
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,122
I'M SORRY, DID YOU SAY FRIEND

256
00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:04,491
OR TEA BITCH?

257
00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:11,932
( car approaches )

258
00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:14,367
( car door shuts )

259
00:12:15,502 --> 00:12:18,138
HEY, PUMPKIN. YOU'RE UP LATE.

260
00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:21,308
WELL, YOU KNOW, YOU NEED TO DO A LOT
OF EXTRA WORK WHEN THE OTHER SIDE

261
00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:25,112
IS BRINGING IN THE HOTSHOT RINGER
SENATOR WHO IS STAYING AT MY HOUSE

262
00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:28,248
AND STANDING IN MY KITCHEN AS WE SPEAK.
NEED I GO ON?

263
00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:31,051
SOMETHING ON YOUR MIND, DARLING?

264
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,419
YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME.

265
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:35,088
WHAT, ARE YOU GONNA RUN
UPSTAIRS NOW, SLAM THE DOOR

266
00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:36,924
AND THROW YOURSELF
ON YOUR CANOPY BED?

267
00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:39,960
NO NO NO, MY SISTER WAS THE ONE
WITH THE CANOPY BED, NOT ME.

268
00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:41,494
BUT THAT IS ANCIENT HISTORY

269
00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:44,197
BECAUSE I AM CALM,
COLD AND STEELY.

270
00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:47,200
AND SIMPLY CURIOUS

271
00:12:47,234 --> 00:12:50,437
WHY YOU WOULD DELIBERATELY
WORK AGAINST ME.

272
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:53,306
IT'S JUST POLITICS. IT'S MY JOB.

273
00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:56,343
BUT... OKAY.

274
00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:58,211
OH, COME ON. JUST
LET IT OUT, HONEY.

275
00:12:58,245 --> 00:13:00,447
YOU KNOW YOU'RE GONNA FEEL
BETTER AFTER A GOOD CRY

276
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:04,051
- AND A LITTLE ICE CREAM.
- OKAY, I'M NOT DOING THAT.

277
00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:06,987
OH, HEY.

278
00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:09,022
I WAS JUST, UM...

279
00:13:09,056 --> 00:13:11,058
REALIZING THAT I SHOULD
HAVE GONE TO BED THIRSTY.

280
00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,926
OKAY, NO NO NO, JOE.
JOE, COME IN HERE.

281
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:14,527
- NO NO. I JUST WANT TO...
- YEAH, NO NO NO.

282
00:13:14,561 --> 00:13:16,763
LISTEN, MY FATHER WAS JUST
ABOUT TO SAY SOMETHING

283
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:19,199
ABOUT HIS FAILURE TO DISCLOSE
WHY HE'S REALLY HERE IN TOWN.

284
00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:21,434
YES I WAS.

285
00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:24,304
MEL DEAR,

286
00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:28,408
I'D JUST LIKE TO SAY THAT
I AM SO SO VERY SORRY

287
00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:32,212
THAT YOU'RE UPSET ABOUT
SOMETHING I MIGHT HAVE SAID

288
00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:35,148
OR DIDN'T SAY.

289
00:13:35,182 --> 00:13:38,151
WELL, GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY.

290
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:42,355
- WHAT WAS THAT?
- IT WAS AN APOLOGY.

291
00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:45,358
- NO IT WASN'T.
- IT'S THE BEST YOU'RE GONNA GET FROM THAT GUY.

292
00:13:45,392 --> 00:13:47,127
LOOK, YOU STOOD UP
TO YOUR OLD MAN.

293
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,196
YOU HELD YOUR GROUND.
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

294
00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:51,264
ARE YOU KIDDING?
THAT WAS TERRIBLE.

295
00:13:51,298 --> 00:13:53,433
- AND WHERE WERE YOU THIS WHOLE TIME?
- SUPPORTING YOU...

296
00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:56,069
FROM DOWNSTAIRS
WHERE IT WAS SAFE.

297
00:13:56,103 --> 00:13:59,072
WELL, THIS WAS YOUR IDEA, ME
BEING CALM, COOL AND STEELY.

298
00:13:59,106 --> 00:14:01,474
- YOU TOLD ME YOU COULD DO IT.
- WHY DO YOU BELIEVE ME?

299
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,410
I MEAN, I CAN'T DO
THOSE SORTS OF THINGS.

300
00:14:03,443 --> 00:14:06,513
I HAVE MY OWN METHODS.

301
00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:08,882
ICE CREAM? REALLY?

302
00:14:08,916 --> 00:14:12,419
LEAVE ME ALONE. IT'S A
CLICHE BECAUSE IT'S TRUE.

303
00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:26,366
OF COURSE WE NEED SPORTS
FIELDS FOR CHILDREN.

304
00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:29,436
EVERYBODY WANTS THAT.
I WANT THAT.

305
00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:31,571
LOOK AT THAT. HE'S SUCKING US IN

306
00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:33,840
BY APPEARING TO AGREE WITH US.

307
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,342
HE'S HYPNOTIC.

308
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:39,079
YOU WILL AWAKEN NOW.

309
00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:41,982
BUT THE PEOPLE ON THIS COUNCIL
HAVE TO BE THE GROWNUPS

310
00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:43,984
AND MAKE THE GROWNUP DECISIONS.

311
00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:46,619
NOW PARKING LOTS
MAY NOT BE SEXY,

312
00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:49,356
BUT THEY PAY FOR THE
SCHOOLS AND THE LIBRARIES

313
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,591
AND YES, EVEN THE SOCCER FIELDS.

314
00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:55,495
AND WE WILL HAVE THOSE
IN THE FULLNESS OF TIME.

315
00:14:55,528 --> 00:14:57,597
BUT FIRST THINGS FIRST.

316
00:14:57,630 --> 00:15:00,167
( applause )

317
00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:04,938
AND NOW,

318
00:15:04,972 --> 00:15:07,574
SPEAKING FOR THE OTHER
SIDE, THE DAUGHTER.

319
00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:10,443
YOU KNOW COUNCILWOMAN BURKE.

320
00:15:10,477 --> 00:15:12,112
AHEM.

321
00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:14,214
ISN'T IT NICE TO HEAR
FROM SENATOR BURKE AGAIN?

322
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:17,450
TAKES US ALL BACK, WAY BACK.

323
00:15:17,484 --> 00:15:19,886
BUT LET'S TALK ABOUT THE FUTURE

324
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,955
WHICH HINGES ON JOBS,

325
00:15:21,989 --> 00:15:24,157
JOBS FILLED BY PEOPLE
WITH FAMILIES.

326
00:15:24,191 --> 00:15:26,126
AND WHY WILL THESE
PEOPLE CHOOSE TOLEDO?

327
00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:28,461
BECAUSE IT'S A GOOD
PLACE TO LIVE.

328
00:15:28,495 --> 00:15:31,064
NOT BECAUSE IT'S A
GOOD PLACE TO PARK.

329
00:15:31,098 --> 00:15:33,066
( mouths )

330
00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:35,935
WELL, I'VE READ ALL
YOUR NEW SONGS.

331
00:15:35,969 --> 00:15:38,038
THANKS. I TRIED WRITING
ABOUT MY PAIN.

332
00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:41,108
YEAH, I SAW THE ONE ABOUT
GETTING YOUR EARS PIERCED.

333
00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:43,376
LISTEN, JADE,

334
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:45,278
IT'S BEEN GREAT
SITTING AT YOUR TABLE

335
00:15:45,312 --> 00:15:48,048
WITH YOU AND ALEXA AND MADISON

336
00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:50,350
AND ALL THE ASHLEYS

337
00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:52,452
AND GOING TO YOUR PARTIES.

338
00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:54,487
AND I KNOW BEING AS
POPULAR AS YOU ARE

339
00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:57,090
PEOPLE MAY NOT ALWAYS
TELL YOU THINGS LIKE,

340
00:15:57,124 --> 00:15:59,426
YOU KNOW, THE TRUTH BECAUSE
THEY LIKE WHERE THEY SIT.

341
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:02,929
BUT, JADE, YOUR SONGS ARE...

342
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,331
PROMISING? MOVING?

343
00:16:04,364 --> 00:16:06,366
GOD-AWFUL.

344
00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:08,668
I'M SORRY, BUT THEY ARE.

345
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:10,370
THERE'S NOTHING IN THERE.

346
00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:14,174
WOW, LENNOX.

347
00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:16,276
THAT TOOK A LOT OF GUTS.

348
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:19,579
I THINK YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON
THAT'S EVER BEEN HONEST WITH ME.

349
00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:22,349
I'M NOT COMING TO YOUR
PARTIES ANYMORE, AM I?

350
00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:24,551
OH NO.

351
00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:27,054
AND THE LUNCH TABLE?
FORGET ABOUT IT, RIGHT?

352
00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:30,223
UNTIL THE DAY I
STOP WEARING SHOES.

353
00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:34,327
IT'S A SHAME 'CAUSE YOU'RE A
REALLY GOOD SONG TWEAKER.

354
00:16:34,361 --> 00:16:36,263
YEAH, I ACTUALLY ENJOYED IT.

355
00:16:36,296 --> 00:16:38,365
MAYBE WE CAN WORK OUT
ANOTHER ARRANGEMENT.

356
00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:40,033
LIKE WHAT?

357
00:16:40,067 --> 00:16:43,236
I COULD PAY YOU. MY
FAMILY'S LOADED.

358
00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:50,009
NO NO NO, I COULDN'T
TAKE YOUR MONEY.

359
00:16:50,043 --> 00:16:51,611
WHOA WHOA, WAIT A MINUTE.
WAIT A MINUTE.

360
00:16:51,644 --> 00:16:54,114
LET'S... LET'S... LET'S
HEAR THE WOMAN OUT.

361
00:16:54,147 --> 00:16:56,349
HI, JOE LONGO. WE DIDN'T GET A
CHANCE TO MEET THE OTHER DAY.

362
00:16:56,383 --> 00:16:57,984
I ACTUALLY REPRESENT LENNOX.

363
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,087
SO WITH THE INITIAL PAYMENT,
THAT'S VERY EASY TO HAMMER OUT.

364
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:01,521
WHAT WE WANT IS A
VERY LARGE PIECE

365
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:04,291
OF THE INTERNATIONAL
RIGHTS AND THE ROYALTIES.

366
00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:08,428
OKAY, BUT I GET TO WEAR A PINK
DRESS ON THE ALBUM COVER.

367
00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:11,598
HMM. I'M GONNA HAVE
TO THINK ABOUT THAT.

368
00:17:14,634 --> 00:17:17,704
WE ARE GOING TO OWN HER.

369
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:22,175
- COUNCILMAN SANCHEZ?
- AYE.

370
00:17:22,209 --> 00:17:24,177
- COUNCILMAN WALKEN?
- NAY.

371
00:17:24,211 --> 00:17:27,080
THE MEASURE APPROVING THE
TOLEDO RAILYARD SOCCER FIELDS

372
00:17:27,114 --> 00:17:28,748
PASSES BY A VOTE OF FIVE TO TWO.

373
00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:31,784
- ( applause )
- I DID IT! I DID IT!

374
00:17:31,818 --> 00:17:34,321
I MEAN, FOR THE
CHILDREN OF TOLEDO.

375
00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:37,357
WOW!

376
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,025
I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING DOWN,

377
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:41,228
LIKE TOTAL TITANIC.

378
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:43,363
WELL, I GUESS I SHOULD
GO TALK TO MY DAD.

379
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:44,797
YOU KNOW, BE A GOOD SPORT.

380
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:59,412
DADDY. IF I DIDN'T
KNOW YOU BETTER,

381
00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:01,748
I'D THINK YOU DUCKED OUT
AFTER THE VOTE TO AVOID ME.

382
00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:03,616
NO NO, IT'S JUST THAT THIS HERE

383
00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:05,585
IS THE ONLY FOUR
SQUARE FEET IN OHIO

384
00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:07,620
WHERE A MAN CAN STILL
SMOKE A CIGAR.

385
00:18:07,654 --> 00:18:09,756
IT PUTS HAIR IN THE LUNGS.

386
00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:12,091
NOT TONIGHT, HONEY.

387
00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:14,361
- SO YOU'RE OKAY?
- SURE.

388
00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:15,762
WHY WOULDN'T I BE?

389
00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:18,131
ALL RIGHT THEN.

390
00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:19,699
DINNER'S IN AN HOUR.

391
00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:24,771
WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME?

392
00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:27,574
I WAS ONLY THE CHAIRMAN OF THE
DAMN APPROPRIATIONS COMMITTEE.

393
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,276
I SURE AS HELL HAD
SOMETHING TO OFFER

394
00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:32,212
ABOUT A LITTLE SOCCER FIELD
IN MY OWN HOME TOWN.

395
00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:34,814
WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK
YOUR FATHER FOR HELP?

396
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:39,252
I GUESS I WAS AFRAID
YOU WOULD TAKE OVER.

397
00:18:39,286 --> 00:18:42,422
YOU KNOW, I WOULDN'T
BE COUNCILWOMAN BURKE.

398
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:45,625
I'D JUST BE SENATOR BURKE'S DAUGHTER WHO HAS
TO CALL HER DADDY WHEN SHE'S IN TROUBLE.

399
00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:48,761
ALL I'M SAYING IS I
COULD HAVE HELPED YOU.

400
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:51,631
DADDY, I WON.

401
00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:53,433
FIVE TO TWO.

402
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:56,102
WITH ME ON YOUR SIDE IT WOULD
HAVE BEEN SEVEN TO NOTHING.

403
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:58,805
- WHAT ABOUT WALKEN?
- THE MAN'S PUTTY.

404
00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:00,807
A NIGHT ON THE TOWN WITH ME,

405
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,676
I COULD HAVE HIM VOTING FOR THE
COMMUNIST PARTY IF I WANTED.

406
00:19:05,178 --> 00:19:07,180
YOU KNOW, DAD, YOU DID HELP ME.

407
00:19:07,214 --> 00:19:08,381
DID I?

408
00:19:08,415 --> 00:19:10,750
YEAH, YOU THINK MY CLOSING
SPEECH CAME OUT OF THIN AIR?

409
00:19:10,783 --> 00:19:12,852
THAT WAS YEARS OF LISTENING
TO RUSSELL BURKE.

410
00:19:12,885 --> 00:19:16,289
I RIP YOU OFF ALL THE TIME.

411
00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:19,692
THAT'S THE NICEST THING
YOU'VE EVER SAID TO ME.

412
00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:23,763
YOU GOT MY SILVER TONGUE AND
YOUR MOTHER'S GOOD LOOKS.

413
00:19:23,796 --> 00:19:26,899
AND MY GOOD LOOKS.

414
00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:29,569
THAT'S A DEADLY COMBINATION.

415
00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:32,839
YOU WORRIED I MAY
OUTSHINE YOU SOMEDAY?

416
00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:34,641
CONSTANTLY.

417
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,476
AH...

418
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,478
CONGRATULATIONS ON
YOUR WIN, PUMPKIN.

419
00:19:39,779 --> 00:19:42,382
LIKE FATHER LIKE DAUGHTER.

420
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,285
I SHOULD HAVE CALLED YOU.

421
00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:47,354
I DIDN'T REALIZE I
WAS HURTING YOU.

422
00:19:47,387 --> 00:19:50,257
OH PSHAW. I'M NOT A LITTLE GIRL.

423
00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:51,891
I DON'T GET MY FEELINGS HURT.

424
00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:54,694
OF COURSE YOU DON'T.

425
00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:56,796
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT THESE ARE?

426
00:19:56,829 --> 00:19:59,899
ICE CREAM FOR OLD DUDES.

427
00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:01,601
( laughs )

428
00:20:11,478 --> 00:20:13,179
HEY, DO THESE THINGS KEEP?

429
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,181
CAN I LEAVE THIS IN THE
FREEZER TILL LATER?

430
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:16,883
- IS THAT A CUBAN?
- YEAH.

431
00:20:16,916 --> 00:20:18,385
YOU WANT IT? IT'S ALL YOURS,

432
00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:21,254
IF YOU AGREE YOU WERE WRONG.

433
00:20:21,288 --> 00:20:23,823
OKAY, I WAS WRONG.

434
00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:25,892
( sniffs ) ABOUT WHAT?

435
00:20:25,925 --> 00:20:29,228
YOU SAID THAT RUSSELL
WAS COLD AND RATIONAL

436
00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:31,664
AND THE ONLY WAY FOR ME TO DEAL WITH
HIM WAS TO LEAVE EMOTIONS OUT OF IT.

437
00:20:31,698 --> 00:20:33,666
- YEAH?
- WELL, IT TURNS OUT

438
00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:36,536
THAT UNDERNEATH THAT HARD
SHELL OF MACHO DENIAL

439
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,605
THERE'S A BIG GOOEY
EMOTIONAL CENTER.

440
00:20:38,638 --> 00:20:41,374
HE WAS HURT THAT I DIDN'T ASK
FOR HIS HELP... GENUINELY HURT.

441
00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:44,777
( chuckles ) WOW, HE'S GOOD.

442
00:20:44,811 --> 00:20:46,446
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

443
00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:48,281
HE WON YOU BACK USING
THE EMOTIONAL CARD.

444
00:20:48,315 --> 00:20:50,283
YOU DON'T WANT TO PLAY IT, BUT IF YOU
HAVE TO THEN YOU'VE GOT TO THROW IT.

445
00:20:50,317 --> 00:20:51,484
IT'S LIKE A THIRD-DEGREE
BLACK BELT MOVE.

446
00:20:51,518 --> 00:20:53,786
VERY FEW GUYS CAN
EVEN PULL IT OFF.

447
00:20:53,820 --> 00:20:55,555
YOU ARE SO COMPLETELY
FULL OF IT.

448
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:58,391
I MEAN, MEN HAVE EMOTIONS
AND SENSITIVITIES.

449
00:20:58,425 --> 00:21:00,560
MOST MEN. I MEAN,
CLEARLY NOT YOU.

450
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,929
YOU'RE REALLY KIND
OF SAD, JOE LONGO.

451
00:21:04,631 --> 00:21:07,567
THAT'S KIND OF HARSH, BURKE.
I MEAN, I'M THE ONE

452
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,702
THAT ACTUALLY WANTED YOU TO RECONNECT
WITH YOUR FATHER IN THE FIRST PLACE.

453
00:21:09,736 --> 00:21:12,739
AS A MATTER OF FACT, SEEING YOU
GO THROUGH ALL THIS WITH YOUR DAD

454
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:16,776
SORT OF REMINDS ME OF STUFF
THAT I WENT THROUGH WITH MINE.

455
00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:19,946
I'M REALLY, UH...

456
00:21:22,849 --> 00:21:24,351
IT'S JUST TOO PAINFUL.

457
00:21:26,419 --> 00:21:28,855
JOE, LOOK, I TAKE IT BACK.

458
00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:30,657
I'M SORRY. I KNOW YOU
WERE JUST TRYING TO HELP.

459
00:21:30,690 --> 00:21:32,792
THIRD-DEGREE BLACK BELT.

460
00:21:37,697 --> 00:21:39,699
( theme music playing )