1
00:00:06,107 --> 00:00:09,610
"MELISSA & JOEY" IS RECORDED IN
FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.

2
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AUNT MEL, RYDER'S
SICK AND I'M WORRIED.

3
00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:16,684
- OH, THAT'S SO SWEET.
- I'M WORRIED THAT HE'S GONNA GIVE IT TO ME.

4
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I HAVE THE MOST IMPORTANT PARTY OF
THE ENTIRE SEMESTER THIS WEEKEND.

5
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YOUR AUNT IS THE KEYNOTE
SPEAKER AT THE JOBS FAIR.

6
00:00:23,791 --> 00:00:27,561
HER WORDS WILL SET THE TONE FOR
PUTTING TOLEDO BACK TO WORK.

7
00:00:27,595 --> 00:00:31,632
WITHOUT TONE, THE ENTIRE CITY COULD
JUST SLIDE RIGHT OFF A CLIFF.

8
00:00:31,665 --> 00:00:33,701
I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND.

9
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COULD YOU JUST GET RYDER OUT OF
THE HOUSE FOR, LIKE, TWO DAYS?

10
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HONESTLY, HONEY, I WOULD LOVE TO GET
EVERYONE OUT OF THIS HOUSE FOR TWO DAYS.

11
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BURKE, ARE YOU BUSY?

12
00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:43,744
I'M TRYING TO BE.

13
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LISTEN, WOULD IT BE A PROBLEM
IF I HAVE SOMEONE STAY OVER?

14
00:00:46,814 --> 00:00:49,049
NO NO NO NO, NOT NOW.

15
00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:51,719
3,000 PEOPLE ARE GATHERING THIS
WEEKEND AT THE CIVIC CENTER

16
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TO HEAR A JOBS SPEECH I WILL
GIVE THAT DOES NOT YET EXIST

17
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BECAUSE PEOPLE KEEP
INTERRUPTING ME.

18
00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:58,592
- YOU ARE GONNA LOVE MY BROTHER.
- YOUR BROTHER THE FLAKE?

19
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- WHO SAID HE WAS A FLAKE?
- YOU DID.

20
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YOU'RE LISTENING TO ME NOW?

21
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NO, COME ON, HE IS GREAT.
TRUST ME, ALL RIGHT?

22
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AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, HE'S
DOWN IN THE BASEMENT.

23
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MEL NEEDS QUIET!
GET OUT OF HERE.

24
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I'M SORRY.

25
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WE'RE ALL JUST A LITTLE
BIT ON EDGE HERE.

26
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I KNOW NOBODY'S GONNA LISTEN
TO THIS, BUT I GOTTA SAY IT...

27
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THIS SPEECH IS IMPORTANT
SO I'VE GOT TO WRITE IT.

28
00:01:20,648 --> 00:01:22,116
SO PLEASE, NOBODY TALK TO ME...
NOBODY.

29
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- IS THAT HER?
- YES.

30
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HEY, THANKS FOR LETTING
ME CRASH HERE.

31
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OH, YEAH, YOU SHOULDN'T
BE THANKING ME.

32
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YOUR BROTHER DESERVES
ALL THE BLAME.

33
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IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.
I'M TONY LONGO.

34
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SO ARE THERE ANY OTHER
LONGOS LURKING ABOUT HERE?

35
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NOPE, THIS IS IT...
JUST JOE AND TONY.

36
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- TONY AND JOE.
- YEP.

37
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- AND TOGETHER WE ARE THE...
- Both: FLYING LONGO BROTHERS!

38
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( both hum circus theme )

39
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OH HO HEY YA OH!

40
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- YEAH WHOO!
- THAT'S AWESOME!

41
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,745
( both laughing )

42
00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:54,615
- OH.
- SO COOL.

43
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- GOOD GRIEF.
- THEY'RE AMAZING.

44
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THEY DIDN'T DROP A SINGLE ONE.

45
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- ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD
- ♪ All good

46
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- ♪ IT'S OKAY
- ♪ Okay

47
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- ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT
- ♪ All right

48
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♪ AS FAR AS I CAN SEE

49
00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:10,731
- ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD
- ♪ All good

50
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- ♪ IT'S OKAY
- ♪ Okay

51
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- ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT
- ♪ All right

52
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♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK ♪

53
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♪ WITH ME ♪

54
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OKAY, I'M SURE SOMEDAY
THERE WILL BE A WORSE TIME

55
00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:26,747
FOR AN UNEXPECTED BROTHER THIS
IS IT.BUT UNTIL THAT DAY,

56
00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:28,682
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE
TO HAVE A LITTLE NOTICE.

57
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HE GAVE US NOTICE. HE
RANG THE DOORBELL.

58
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WE HAD PLENTY OF
TIME AFTER THAT.

59
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ALL RIGHT, FINE FINE.
THAT'S COOL.

60
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I'LL JUST TELL HIM THAT
TO STAY WITH US.IM

61
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NO NO NO NO, I'M
TOO NICE FOR THAT.

62
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:42,596
UM, JUST TELL HIM HE CAN HE
HAS TO LEAVE, ALL RIGHT?

63
00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:44,765
AND DON'T TELL HIM I WAS CRANKY.
SAY GOOD THINGS ABOUT ME.

64
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AND LIE TO MY BROTHER?

65
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:48,769
WAIT... THERE IT IS.

66
00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:50,738
SEE, IT'S FACING EAST.
THAT'S THE AXIS.

67
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IT'S LETTING THE
ENERGY FLOW RIGHT IN.

68
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YOU GUYS NEED ANY
HELP ( coughs )THING?

69
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:56,877
NO. DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING.

70
00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:59,780
GET BACK TO YOUR
ROOM, SNOT FAUCET.

71
00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:02,149
YOU'RE SO MEAN.

72
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,918
UM, OKAY, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING WITH MY FURNITURE

73
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AND ALL THE PLACES IT
USED TO BE THAT I LIKED?

74
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HE CAN EXPLAIN, AUNT MEL. IT'S
MYSTICAL AND REALLY COOL.

75
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I WAS SAVING YOUR LIFE, MEL.

76
00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:15,629
I'M UNBLOCKING YOUR CHI.

77
00:03:15,663 --> 00:03:17,865
YOU KNOW, FENG SHUI...
OF PLACEMENT? RT

78
00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:21,902
YEAH, I THINK THAT...

79
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I MEAN, COME ON, THIS FURNITURE
FOR A LONG TIME.SAME OLD SPOT

80
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YOU KNOW, IT'S GOOD
EXCELLENT AT THIS STUFF.Y'S

81
00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:28,776
CHANGE IS GOOD. JUST
GIVE IT A CHANCE.

82
00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:31,879
OKAY, CONSIDERING IT.

83
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:33,947
OKAY, CHANGE IT BACK NOW.

84
00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:35,949
I DON'T KNOW, THIS
FENG SHUI IS WORKING.

85
00:03:35,983 --> 00:03:38,886
I REALLY FEEL THE FLOW
OF ENERGY ALREADY.

86
00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:40,921
YEAH, YOU'RE STANDING
OVER A VENT.

87
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LISTEN, IT WAS SO OBVIOUS
THE BAGWA OF YOUR HOUSE.

88
00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:47,695
AND I WANTED TO GIVE YOU SOMETHING...
A GIFT.

89
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:50,631
YOU KNOW WHAT? THE
JUGGLING SHOW WAS PLENTY.

90
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:53,767
LISTEN... HI.

91
00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:55,969
I DON'T THINK THIS IS SUCH A GOOD
TIME FOR ME TO BE HERE, JOE.

92
00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:58,772
I THINK MAYBE THIS WHOLE
THING WAS A REALLY BAD IDEA.

93
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YOU KNOW, I'M JUST GONNA
GET MY STUFF AND HEAD OUT.

94
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COME ON. DO ME A FAVOR...
JUST GO TALK TO HIM, OKAY?

95
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FINE, YES FINE.

96
00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:07,881
ONCE AGAIN, I AM BEING
THE BIGGER PERSON HERE.

97
00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:10,751
IT IS EXHAUSTING BEING THIS BIG.

98
00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:12,953
UM, TONY...

99
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YEAH HEY, LISTEN, DON'T WORRY.
I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE.

100
00:04:15,723 --> 00:04:16,990
I JUST TOOK SOME NEW
PICTURES ON MY LAST TRIP.

101
00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:19,927
- WANTED TO LEAVE A FEW FOR JOE.
- OH, YOU TOOK THESE?

102
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,929
YOU DIDN'T TAKE THESE.
DID YOU TAKE THESE?

103
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WITH THIS CAMERA.

104
00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:25,833
WOW, THIS ONE'S BEAUTIFUL.

105
00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:27,901
HEY, I THINK I KNOW
THIS FOUNTAIN.

106
00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:29,637
YEAH? IT'S IN SIENA.

107
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YEAH, I HAVE BEEN IN THIS FOUNTAIN...
NAKED.

108
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I MEAN, IT'S A
BEAUTIFUL PICTURE.

109
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YEAH, I SPENT SEVEN HOURS
FOR JUST THE RIGHT LIGHT.

110
00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:39,847
AND THEN FOR ONE SINGLE
MOMENT, THERE IT WAS.

111
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WOW. AND YOU GOT IT.

112
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- FOREVER.
- IT'S PERFECT.

113
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THANKS.

114
00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:48,822
OH, THIS... IS THIS
THE HILLS OF IRELAND?

115
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NO, THAT'S A LANDFILL IN AKRON.

116
00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:52,793
WOW. YOU CAN MAKE
ANYTHING LOOK GOOD.

117
00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:55,896
HEY, IF I WERE TO PUT YOU
UP FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS,

118
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:58,832
DO YOU THINK MAYBE YOU
COULD DO A PHOTO SHOOT

119
00:04:58,866 --> 00:05:01,935
WITH A CERTAIN CITY COUNCILWOMAN WHO'S
FINALLY LEARNED TO SHAPE HER EYEBROWS?

120
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,737
YOU GOT A DEAL.

121
00:05:03,771 --> 00:05:05,773
BESIDES, IT'S NOT GONNA BE TOUGH
MAKING YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

122
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:06,974
YOU'RE NO LANDFILL.

123
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AW, THAT'S THE SWEETEST THING
ANY LONGO'S EVER SAID TO ME.

124
00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:12,713
ALL RIGHT. ALL YOUR FURNITURE
IS RIGHT BACK WHERE IT WAS.

125
00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:14,815
YOU ARE DE-FENGED AND
I REMOVED ALL SHUI.

126
00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:16,917
I KIND OF LIKED IT
THE WAY TONY HAD IT.

127
00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:18,986
I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO
GET HIM OUT OF HERE.

128
00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:21,789
YEAH, I DID BEFORE, BUT NOW
I'VE CHANGED MY MIND, OKAY?

129
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:26,694
CHANGE... HEY, THAT IS A
GREAT THEME FOR MY SPEECH.

130
00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:29,663
"CHANGE YOUR JOB, CHANGE
YOUR LIFE, CHANGE TOLEDO."

131
00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:31,732
( gasps ) I JUST
GAVE MYSELF CHILLS.

132
00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:33,767
IT'S LIKE I WAS
SUDDENLY INSPIRED.

133
00:05:33,801 --> 00:05:36,704
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY? 'CAUSE
ACCORDING TO FENG SHUI,

134
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YOU'RE STANDING ON THE CAREER
SUCCESS POINT OF THIS ROOM.

135
00:05:38,806 --> 00:05:40,808
AND ACCORDING TO YOU
FIVE MINUTES AGO,

136
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,743
YOU WERE COMPLETELY ANTICHANGE.

137
00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:45,913
YEAH WELL, I CHANGED.
CHANGE! YAY.

138
00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:50,017
IT'S SO GREAT TO BE WITNESS TO SOMEONE'S
PERSONAL AND SPIRITUAL EVOLUTION.

139
00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:51,885
THANK YOU, DEEPAK.

140
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:56,890
HEY, THE COUNCILWOMAN'S
PRETTY SWEET, HUH?

141
00:05:56,924 --> 00:05:58,959
YEAH, SHE'S OKAY. YOU KNOW, SHE'S
A LITTLE CRAZY AND NEUROTIC,

142
00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:01,829
- BUT MOSTLY HARMLESS.
- SO WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH YOU GUYS?

143
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,864
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH US?
WE WORK TOGETHER.

144
00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:06,767
I'M THE, UH, NANNY.

145
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,736
GOD, I HATE THAT FRIGGIN' WORD.

146
00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:11,639
NO, I MEAN IS THERE ANYTHING
GOING ON BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU?

147
00:06:11,672 --> 00:06:13,006
NO. ARE YOU KIDDING?

148
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,909
I'M GONNA PUT UP WITH HER WITHOUT
GETTING PAID? NOT A CHANCE.

149
00:06:15,943 --> 00:06:18,011
- SO IT'S COOL IF I ASK HER OUT?
- WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO ASK HER OUT?

150
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:20,714
I'M IN TOWN FOR A FEW DAYS.
JUST WANT TO HAVE A LITTLE FUN.

151
00:06:20,748 --> 00:06:22,650
OH, TRUST ME, MEL
BURKE IS NOT ANY FUN.

152
00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:24,017
THAT'S NOT THE VIBE I GOT.

153
00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:26,920
I THINK I HAVE A LITTLE MORE
EXPERIENCE AROUND HER VIBE.

154
00:06:26,954 --> 00:06:29,790
TRUST ME... STAY AS FAR
AWAY FROM THAT AS YOU CAN.

155
00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:31,792
ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T
HAVE A THING FOR HER?

156
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:34,795
'CAUSE I THINK... I THINK I'M SEEING
A LITTLE SOMETHING RIGHT THERE.

157
00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:36,797
- OW!
- THAT'S FUNNY.

158
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:39,867
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S FUNNY IS THE THOUGHT
OF YOU TWO GUYS GOING OUT TOGETHER.

159
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,869
OH, COME ON, MAN, SHE
LIKES THE PHOTOS.

160
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:44,972
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S CODE FOR?
LIKING THE PHOTOGRAPHER.

161
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:47,775
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT, TONY? I
JUST REALIZED SOMETHING, MAN.

162
00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:50,711
YOU ARE STANDING IN THE
BAD-IDEA CORNER OF THE ROOM.

163
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:52,713
- LOOK AT THAT.
- ALL RIGHT, JOE, LOOK,

164
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,848
IF YOU HAVE EVEN THE TINIEST
BIT OF INTEREST IN HER,

165
00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:56,850
JUST LET ME KNOW, OKAY? AND
I'LL STAY AWAY FROM HER.

166
00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:59,920
NO. SEE, IT'S JUST THAT...

167
00:07:00,988 --> 00:07:02,723
NO, THERE'S NOTHING THERE.

168
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:04,658
- YOU'RE SURE?
- YES YES, I'M SURE.

169
00:07:04,692 --> 00:07:07,695
OKAY? LOOK, ASK HER OUT.
SHE'S ALL YOURS.

170
00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:09,730
- GREAT. THANKS, BUDDY.
- SURE.

171
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:12,032
- NIGHT.
- NIGHT.

172
00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:27,147
SO HOW'S THAT CHICKEN SOUP, HUH?

173
00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:29,182
CAN I MAKE A MEAN
MATZO BALL OR WHAT?

174
00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:32,119
IT'S SO DELICIOUS I
CAN ALMOST TASTE IT.

175
00:07:32,152 --> 00:07:33,621
DINNER, LENNOX, COME ON.

176
00:07:33,654 --> 00:07:35,589
Lennox: IS SICK
BOY STILL EATING?

177
00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:37,457
I'M NOT COMING DOWN
TILL HE'S DONE.

178
00:07:37,491 --> 00:07:40,193
WILL YOU STOP MAKING SUCH A BIG
DEAL OUT OF THIS THING, PLEASE?

179
00:07:40,227 --> 00:07:42,195
I CANNOT MISS THIS PARTY.

180
00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:45,198
I JUST NEED TO STAY AWAY FROM HIS
GERMS FOR, LIKE, ONE MORE DAY.

181
00:07:45,232 --> 00:07:47,134
I'M GETTING BETTER. ( sneezes )

182
00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:49,637
HA.

183
00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:51,505
I'M DONE ANYWAY.

184
00:08:00,548 --> 00:08:03,150
YOU WANT A HIT?

185
00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:06,219
NO, I'M GOOD. WHEN IT'S
MY TIME, IT'S MY TIME.

186
00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:09,489
HERE. WHERE THE HECK
IS YOUR AUNT ANYWAY?

187
00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:12,059
- ( nasal ) AT A PHOTO SHOOT.
- HUH?

188
00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:15,162
AT A PHOTO SHOOT WITH DONY.
DONY AND MEL?

189
00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:19,132
TONY AND MEL. COME ON, WHAT PART
OF THIS DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?

190
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:22,102
BLOW.

191
00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:27,575
AH. SHE'S AT A PHOTO
SHOOT WITH TONY.

192
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:31,144
HE'S TAKING HER NEW
COUNCIL PICTURES.

193
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:33,180
SHE SAID NOT TO WAIT UP.

194
00:08:33,213 --> 00:08:36,183
THAT'S COOL. IT'S GOOD TO SEE
THEY'RE HITTING IT OFF, HUH?

195
00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:38,118
GOOD FOR THEM.

196
00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:40,120
HEY, WOULD YOU PLEASE LEAVE?

197
00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:42,089
- OH YEAH, HEY, LENNOX?
- WHAT?

198
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:44,625
- CATCH.
- EW!

199
00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:53,166
THAT'S REALLY GREAT, MEL. I'M
SEEING A LOT OF HONESTY.

200
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,102
I'M SEEING A LOT OF COMPASSION.

201
00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:56,570
YEAH, ARE YOU SEEING
ANY DARK ROOTS?

202
00:08:56,604 --> 00:08:58,171
NO, YOU'RE GOOD. YOU'RE GOOD.

203
00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:00,140
UM, CAN WE TRY IT WITH A
LITTLE BIT OF A SPARKLE?

204
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:03,176
YOU KNOW, LIKE, OOH, YOU
JUST WON YOUR ELECTION.

205
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:06,113
BY HOW MUCH? WAS IT A
SQUEAKER OR A LANDSLIDE?

206
00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:09,082
NO, I'M JUST SAYING THAT YOU
SMILE SEEMS A LITTLE BOTTLED UP.

207
00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:12,285
LIKE, WHEN YOU KEEP WINE IN THE BOTTLE
FOR TOO LONG, YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS?

208
00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:16,123
I WOULDN'T KNOW. I DON'T KEEP
WINE IN THE BOTTLE TOO LONG.

209
00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:17,658
WELL, IT TURNS TO VINEGAR.

210
00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:21,161
AND YOU ARE NOT DESTINED TO BE
A SALAD DRESSING, MEL BURKE.

211
00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:24,131
OH, I DON'T KNOW. I COULD
BE A SPICY ITALIAN

212
00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:26,099
OR A SWEET HONEY MUSTARD.

213
00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:29,569
YEAH, BUT ONCE UPON A TIME I
WAS AN EXTRA-VIRGIN OLIVE OIL.

214
00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:31,238
( laughing )

215
00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:34,174
- JOE.
- NO NO, I'M TONY.

216
00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:36,644
USUALLY THE WOMEN
CAN TELL US APART.

217
00:09:36,677 --> 00:09:39,079
- HEY, BUDDY.
- OH HEY, MAN.

218
00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:40,547
YEAH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

219
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:43,150
'CAUSE I DON'T SEE ENOUGH
OF YOU DURING THE DAY.

220
00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:45,118
OH, WELL, I REALIZED YOU
FORGOT YOUR COMPUTER AT HOME.

221
00:09:45,152 --> 00:09:47,187
AND I KNOW YOU CAN'T BE WITHOUT
THIS THING FOR EVEN AN HOUR.

222
00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:50,257
THAT'S WHEN I'M AT WORK. THIS
IS ACTUALLY A PHOTO SHOOT.

223
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:53,293
YEAH, I KNOW, BUT WHEN THE PHOTO
SHOOT IS OVER... ( laughs )

224
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:55,128
...VERY SOON,

225
00:09:55,162 --> 00:09:58,298
YOU KNOW, AND YOU WANT TO DO SOME WORK,
YOUR COMPUTER WILL BE RIGHT HERE.

226
00:09:58,331 --> 00:10:00,567
AND JOE IS A HERO.
THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING.

227
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,269
OKAY.

228
00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:05,605
UM, CAN YOU FLY OUT
HERE FOR A MOMENT?

229
00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:08,709
AND DON'T GET YOUR CAPE
CAUGHT ON ANYTHING.

230
00:10:10,678 --> 00:10:13,346
- YOU CAME HERE TO SPY ON US.
- I WAS NOT SPYING ON YOU.

231
00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:16,116
WELL, THIS COMPUTER
BAG IS EMPTY.

232
00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:17,617
APPARENTLY I'M NOT A
VERY THOROUGH HERO.

233
00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:20,187
ANYWAY, LOOK, SINCE I'M HERE,

234
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:23,156
I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU, THIS
IS NOT JUST A PHOTO SHOOT.

235
00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:25,092
OKAY? TONY IS, UM...

236
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:27,327
WHAT? A CONVICT?
A SERIAL KILLER?

237
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,596
OH MY GOD, IS HE MARRIED?

238
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,264
NO NO NO, HE'S NOT MARRIED.

239
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,100
HE'S INTERESTED IN YOU.

240
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,668
THAT'S WHAT YOU CAME
HERE TO WARN ME ABOUT?

241
00:10:34,702 --> 00:10:36,303
THAT A SINGLE GOOD-LOOKING GUY

242
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:38,338
MIGHT POSSIBLY BE THINKING
ABOUT ASKING ME OUT ON A DATE?

243
00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:40,373
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

244
00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:43,677
I HOPE I CAN GET THE
VACCINE IN TIME.

245
00:10:43,711 --> 00:10:45,612
I'M JUST TRYING TO GIVE
YOU A HEADS UP, OKAY?

246
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:48,381
HE'S A CHARMING GUY. AND,
YOU KNOW, DESPERATE,

247
00:10:48,415 --> 00:10:51,251
VERY GULLIBLE WOMEN
ALWAYS FALL FOR THAT.

248
00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:53,120
THANK YOU, JOE.

249
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:56,223
NOW PLEASE DON'T TAKE THIS
THE WRONG WAY... LEAVE.

250
00:10:58,425 --> 00:11:00,360
WHERE'D THAT SMILE GO?

251
00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:02,629
I DON'T KNOW. IT'S JUST YOUR BROTHER
COMING DOWN HERE UNANNOUNCED.

252
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,098
YEAH, I KNOW, I HATE IT WHEN
GUYS JUST SHOW UP UNANNOUNCED.

253
00:11:05,132 --> 00:11:07,267
UNLESS IT'S ME, AND THEN
IT'S KIND OF AWESOME.

254
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:10,137
WELL, IT DID WORK
OUT FOR THE BEST.

255
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,204
YEAH.

256
00:11:11,238 --> 00:11:13,140
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? I KNOW
WHAT'LL HELP YOU OUT.

257
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:15,408
- TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES.
- OH, DO I HAVE TO?

258
00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:17,377
THEY MAKE MY LEGS
LOOK SO FANTASTIC.

259
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:20,147
YES THEY DO. BUT I
STUDIED REFLEXOLOGY

260
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:22,182
WHILE I WAS ON A PHOTO
EXPEDITION THROUGH INDIA.

261
00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:23,650
SO I KIND OF KNOW
WHAT I'M DOING.

262
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,685
OKAY, BUT YOU KNOW, I
JUST DON'T REALLY BELIEVE

263
00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:27,354
IN THAT CHAKRA
CRYSTAL ROCK STUFF.

264
00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:31,224
SO DON'T FEEL BAD IF IT DOESN'T...
OH, MY SWEET LITTLE PIGGIES.

265
00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:34,394
WOW.

266
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:40,333
- ( laughing )
- HEY, YOU GUYS ARE BACK ALREADY?

267
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,369
IT'S BARELY TOMORROW.

268
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:46,139
YEAH, WELL, IT WAS A VERY
VERY GREAT PHOTO SHOOT.

269
00:11:46,173 --> 00:11:48,441
YES. I HAD A VERY
VERY GREAT MODEL.

270
00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:51,344
OH, I'M VERY VERY HAPPY TO SEE
YOU GUYS GETTING ALONG SO WELL.

271
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:54,347
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GONNA HEAD
DOWNSTAIRS, SEE WHAT WE GOT.

272
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:57,684
SO, SIX-HOUR PHOTO SHOOT, HUH?
THAT'S AMAZING.

273
00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,387
I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW SOMEBODY COULD
SMILE FOR SIX STRAIGHT HOURS.

274
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:03,190
I'M SURPRISED YOUR
FACE DIDN'T CRACK.

275
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:06,426
ME, I CAN BARELY KEEP THIS THING
GOING FOR, LIKE, FIVE SECONDS.

276
00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:09,129
YEAH, WELL, YOU'RE NOT
A POLITICIAN, OKAY?

277
00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:13,366
WE CAN SMILE INDEFINITELY AND TALK
OUT OF BOTH SIDES OF OUR MOUTHS.

278
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:17,370
YEAH YEAH. SO, YOU KNOW,
THIS SO-CALLED PHOTO SHOOT,

279
00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:20,307
THAT'S ALL YOU GUYS DID, HUH, WAS
JUST TAKE A LOT OF PICTURES?

280
00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:24,111
OH, WELL, HE DID
REMOVE A LENS OR TWO.

281
00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:26,346
YOU KNOW, WE TOOK SOME
BREAKS, WE TALKED,

282
00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:29,282
WE HAD SOME WINE. HE
MASSAGED MY FEET.

283
00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:31,418
- YOU LET HIM TOUCH YOUR FEET?
- YEAH, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

284
00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:34,354
THAT'S LIKE A GATEWAY MASSAGE.

285
00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:37,157
YEAH, GATEWAY TO HEAVEN.

286
00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:39,392
( laughs ) ALL RIGHT, I
DON'T NEED TO HEAR ANYMORE.

287
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:42,495
YOU KNOW WHAT? IT SOUNDS LIKE
YOU'RE A LITTLE JEALOUS.

288
00:12:42,529 --> 00:12:46,466
I MEAN, ARE YOU WORRIED THAT YOUR
BROTHER AND I, YOU KNOW, DID STUFF?

289
00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:48,468
WHAT? EW. NO.

290
00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:50,303
OKAY, 'CAUSE JUST F.Y.I.,

291
00:12:50,337 --> 00:12:53,340
I'M NOT THE KIND OF GIRL WHO GOES
ALL THE WAY ON A FIRST PHOTO SHOOT

292
00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:55,242
WITH SOME PHOTOGRAPHER
I JUST MET,

293
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:58,478
ESPECIALLY WHEN THE JANITOR WALKS IN.
DAMN THAT GUY.

294
00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:01,181
JUST SO WE'RE CLEAR,
WHEN I SAY, "EW. NO,"

295
00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:02,482
YOU HEAR, "TELL ME EVERYTHING.

296
00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:05,318
DON'T LEAVE OUT A
SINGLE GROSS DETAIL"?

297
00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:08,121
MM-HMM YEAH. BELIEVE ME, I
DIDN'T TELL YOU EVERYTHING.

298
00:13:08,155 --> 00:13:10,290
I MEAN I LEFT OUT
PLENTY OF THINGS.

299
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:12,225
- LIKE FOR INSTANCE...
- HOLD THAT THOUGHT...

300
00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:14,461
UNTIL I GET OUT OF HERE.

301
00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:23,436
- MORNING.
- MORNING.

302
00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:28,408
I'M SO EXCITED. TODAY'S THE DAY
WE FINISH MEL'S JOBS-FAIR SPEECH.

303
00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:31,478
GIVE ME A BREAK. I DON'T HAVE A LOT
GOING ON IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW.

304
00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:34,147
WELL, SHE'LL BE BACK
HERE IN A MINUTE.

305
00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:36,283
HER AND TONY ARE
OUT TO BREAKFAST.

306
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,151
OH MY GOD, BREAKFAST?

307
00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:39,486
THEY WENT TO BREAKFAST?

308
00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:41,354
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
WHAT THIS MEANS?

309
00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:44,191
YEAH, MEL IS PAYING
FOR BREAKFAST.

310
00:13:44,224 --> 00:13:48,195
NO, THAT I MISSED MY
CHANCE WITH ANOTHER LONGO.

311
00:13:48,228 --> 00:13:52,165
WHAT IS IT WITH YOU GIRLS? WHAT
DO YOU GUYS SEE IN THIS MAN?

312
00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:54,334
WELL, HE'S A LOT LIKE YOU,

313
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:57,404
ONLY LESS CLENCHED.

314
00:13:57,437 --> 00:14:01,341
I'M CLENCHED?

315
00:14:03,243 --> 00:14:06,246
WHAT I MEAN IS THAT IT'S NOT
SURPRISING THAT MEL FELL FOR TONY.

316
00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:08,515
I MEAN, ASIDE FROM THE
CLENCHING, HE'S YOU.

317
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:11,251
HE'S LIKE THE YOU
THAT SHE CAN HAVE.

318
00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:14,521
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? THAT SHE'S
GOING OUT WITH ME THROUGH HIM?

319
00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:16,323
THAT'S WHAT I WOULD DO

320
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:21,261
IF I WERE A LEGGY,
ALMOST-FAMOUS 5'-TALL BLONDE.

321
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:24,431
NAH.

322
00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:26,433
I THINK SHE'S JUST
TRYING TO PISS ME OFF.

323
00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:28,535
THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO
FIND OUT FOR SURE...

324
00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:32,372
GO OUT WITH ME AND MAKE
MEL WILDLY JEALOUS.

325
00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:35,242
THANK YOU, BUT I DON'T THINK
THAT THAT WOULD WORK.

326
00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:38,345
NO WORRIES. JUST TRYING
TO TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM.

327
00:14:41,314 --> 00:14:44,184
HEY, BUDDY, LOOK WHAT I GOT.

328
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:46,253
IT'S YOUR BUS TICKET. PRINTED
IT OUT ONLINE FOR YOU.

329
00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:49,422
OH GREAT. WOW,
THIS IS FOR TODAY.

330
00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:51,524
YEAH, YOU SAID YOU
WERE LEAVING TODAY.

331
00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:54,161
WELL YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT I
MEAN WHEN I SAY "TODAY."

332
00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:56,296
I DON'T MEAN TODAY
TODAY; I MEAN WHENEVER.

333
00:14:56,329 --> 00:15:00,300
I'M SORRY. THE BUS COMPANY RAN
OUT OF TICKETS FOR "WHENEVER."

334
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:03,170
YOU JUST MAKE LIFE UP
AS YOU GO ALONG, HUH?

335
00:15:03,203 --> 00:15:05,538
UH-HUH. THAT'S THE UPSIDE
OF BEING YOUR OWN BOSS.

336
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:08,275
UNLESS, YOU KNOW. YOU'RE
GETTING SICK OF ME?

337
00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:10,510
NO, STAY. YEAH, I
LIKE HAVING YOU HERE.

338
00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:13,146
MAYBE I COULD MOVE THINGS
AROUND, STAY A LITTLE LONGER.

339
00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:14,514
MOVE THINGS AROUND?

340
00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:19,219
THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE TO MOVE
AROUND IS WHAT'S IN YOUR BACKPACK.

341
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:21,154
SO, YEAH, YOU KNOW, LET'S
SEE WHERE IT GOES.

342
00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:24,157
YEAH, IT'S COOL. YOU'RE FREE
AND EASY; I'M FREE AND EASY.

343
00:15:24,191 --> 00:15:27,260
ACTUALLY, YOU CAN'T BE
FREE AND EASY JUST YET.

344
00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:29,296
YOU HAVE TO FINISH YOUR
SPEECH FOR THE JOBS FAIR.

345
00:15:29,329 --> 00:15:33,233
OH, SHOOT. YOU KNOW WHAT? PENCIL ME IN FOR
"FREE AND EASY" THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW.

346
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:36,203
- LET'S GO GO GO.
- AH.

347
00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:39,172
IF YOU'RE GONNA BE STAYING HER ANOTHER
WEEK, IT'S NOT GONNA BE IN MY ROOM.

348
00:15:39,206 --> 00:15:41,374
WELL, MAYBE I COULD FIND ANOTHER
ROOM WHERE I'M WELCOME.

349
00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:43,510
NO NO NO, THAT'S COOL.
YOU CAN STAY WITH ME

350
00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:47,247
BECAUSE YOU'RE MY
BROTHER AND I LOVE YOU.

351
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,250
YEAH, THE FLYING
LONGOS ARE BACK, BABY!

352
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:53,186
( humming circus theme )

353
00:15:53,220 --> 00:15:54,521
- OH OH OH...
- MAYBE LATER.

354
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:06,933
AUNT MEL, CAN I TALK
TO YOU FOR A SEC?

355
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:10,003
LENNOX, NOT RIGHT NOW. I'VE REALLY
GOT TO REHEARSE THIS SPEECH.

356
00:16:10,037 --> 00:16:11,704
OKAY, THEN I GUESS YOU
DON'T WANT TO SEE

357
00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:13,706
THE HALF-NAKED PICTURES OF
YOU ALL OVER THE INTERNET.

358
00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:16,976
WHOA WHOA, WHAT? OKAY, ALL
RIGHT, BRING IT BACK OVER HERE.

359
00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:18,678
( gasps )

360
00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:24,617
WOW. SO I'M THINKING NEXT
PHOTO SHOOT, NO WINE.

361
00:16:26,019 --> 00:16:28,688
AND NO PHOTO SHOOT.

362
00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:32,959
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? I AM A CITY
COUNCILWOMAN. I CAN'T BE SEEN LIKE THIS.

363
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:35,028
DON'T WORRY, MEL. THESE
ARE CLEARLY PHOTOSHOPPED.

364
00:16:35,062 --> 00:16:38,731
NO ONE WOULD EVER BELIEVE
THAT'S YOUR BODY.

365
00:16:38,765 --> 00:16:40,600
THAT IS MY BODY.

366
00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:43,070
PILATES TO YOU!

367
00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:45,738
WAIT A MINUTE, YOU KNEW
WHAT YOU WERE DOING HERE

368
00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:48,508
WHEN YOU CLIMBED UP ON
THAT DESK AND DID...

369
00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:50,510
WHAT EXACTLY ARE
YOU DOING THERE?

370
00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:52,579
AND WHOSE SHIRT IS THAT?

371
00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:54,981
TONY'S. YOU KNOW, THESE ARE
SUPPOSED TO BE PRIVATE.

372
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,983
HE SAID NO ONE WOULD
SEE THESE EXCEPT US.

373
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,651
- HE PROMISED YOU THAT?
- YES, HE DID.

374
00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,987
AND YOU KNOW WHAT? NOW I'M
GONNA GO BREAK HIS CAMERA

375
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,056
AND HIS PRETTY LITTLE
CUTE LITTLE BUTTON NOSE

376
00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:05,525
AND I'M GONNA SHOVE IT
UP HIS SUCCESS SPOT.

377
00:17:05,558 --> 00:17:07,994
- IS HE DOWN THERE?
- NO NO NO, ACTUALLY HE'S OUT IN THE GARAGE.

378
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,730
YEAH, HE WANTED TO BORROW MY
WEIGHTS TO HOLD DOWN HIS YOGA MAT.

379
00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:12,765
I'M GONNA BORROW YOUR WEIGHTS
TO HOLD DOWN HIS THROAT.

380
00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:14,734
COME ON, STEPHANIE.

381
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:18,037
JOE, YOU COULD HAVE JUST WARNED ME
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOUR BROTHER.

382
00:17:18,071 --> 00:17:20,006
- YEAH, I...
- ( door closes )

383
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,741
I SHOULD HAVE.

384
00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:24,544
OH, BROTHER?

385
00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:28,615
HEY, LENNOX, HAS MEL
SEEN THESE PHOTOS?

386
00:17:28,648 --> 00:17:30,750
'CAUSE IT'S SOMETHING A
NEPHEW SHOULD NEVER SEE.

387
00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:34,087
YEAH. GET BACK UPSTAIRS, MR.
INFECTO.

388
00:17:34,121 --> 00:17:35,655
OH NO, I'M NOT SICK ANYMORE.
I FEEL GREAT.

389
00:17:35,688 --> 00:17:37,124
( sneezes )

390
00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:41,094
NO, IT WAS ALLERGIES, I SWEAR.

391
00:17:41,128 --> 00:17:43,096
NO, THE PARTY IS TONIGHT.
IT HAS TO BE ALLERG...

392
00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:44,564
( sneezes )

393
00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:48,635
NO NO NO NO NO. THIS
CANNOT BE HAPPENING TO ME.

394
00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:50,069
OOH!

395
00:17:51,804 --> 00:17:53,740
- TONY?
- HEY, BRO.

396
00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:55,808
- WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU THINKING?
- ABOUT WHAT?

397
00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:58,811
THOSE PHOTOS THAT YOU TOOK OF MEL
THAT WERE SUPPOSED TO BE PRIVATE...

398
00:17:58,845 --> 00:18:01,648
THEY'RE ALL OVER THE INTERNET. WHAT
DID YOU DO, SELL THOSE THINGS?

399
00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:03,716
NO NO NO, I POSTED
THEM ON MY WEBSITE.

400
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:06,519
SOMEBODY MUST HAVE STOLEN THEM.
STUFF HAPPENS.

401
00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:08,054
NO, STUFF ALWAYS HAPPENS TO YOU.

402
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,623
YOU KNOW, THIS WHOLE
CARELESS FLAKY-GUY THING

403
00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:12,625
IS JUST NOT THAT
CHARMING ANYMORE, TONY.

404
00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:14,761
IT MADE MEL LAUGH
A COUPLE TIMES.

405
00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:17,063
SHE'S NOT LAUGHING RIGHT NOW. SHE'S
ACTUALLY UP THERE PRETTY HURT.

406
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,766
FINE FINE. LOOK, I'LL TAKE 'EM
DOWN IMMEDIATELY, ALL RIGHT?

407
00:18:19,799 --> 00:18:21,601
WHY ARE YOU SO UPSET ANYWAY?

408
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:24,671
BECAUSE MEL...
LOOK, HER AND I...

409
00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:27,740
I'M JUST VERY PROTECTIVE OF
PEOPLE INSIDE THIS HOUSE, OKAY?

410
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:30,710
JOE? JOE?

411
00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:33,813
LAST TIME I SAW THAT FACE, IT
WAS THE ANDREA DITTMAN FIGHT.

412
00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:36,749
YOU REALLY WANT TO
TALK ABOUT THAT AGAIN?

413
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,117
I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING
WRONG THEN EITHER.

414
00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:39,586
- YES YOU DID.
- NO I DIDN'T.

415
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:40,587
- YES YOU DID.
- NO I DIDN'T.

416
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:41,654
- YES YOU DID.
- NO I DIDN'T.

417
00:18:41,688 --> 00:18:43,590
YES YOU DID, ALL RIGHT?
YOU MADE OUT WITH ANDREA,

418
00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:45,525
THEN YOU TOLD THE ENTIRE
SCHOOL AND SHE WAS HUMILIATED.

419
00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:47,527
AND THEN WHEN I WENT TO ASK
HER OUT, SHE SAID, "NO WAY.

420
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:48,828
I'M NEVER GONNA DATE
ANOTHER LONGO."

421
00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:51,564
- OH YEAH, I DID DO THAT.
- YOU SON OF A...

422
00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:53,733
SO IS BIG BROTHER GONNA
GIVE ME ANOTHER BLACK EYE?

423
00:18:53,766 --> 00:18:56,603
YOU WERE THE ONE THAT STARTED THAT FIGHT,
ALL RIGHT? YOU THREW THE FIRST PUNCH.

424
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:57,604
- NO I DIDN'T.
- YES YOU DID.

425
00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:58,605
- NO I DIDN'T.
- YES YOU DID.

426
00:18:58,638 --> 00:18:59,739
- NO I DIDN'T.
- YES YOU DID.

427
00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:01,874
NO NO, THAT? I'M SORRY,
THAT'S NOT A PUNCH.

428
00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:03,710
- YES IT IS.
- NO NO.

429
00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:05,645
SEE, THAT... THAT'S A PUNCH.

430
00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:09,849
( grunting )

431
00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:11,884
BRING BACK ANY MEMORIES, BUDDY?

432
00:19:11,918 --> 00:19:15,622
- YEAH, TAKES ME BACK ALL THE WAY TO THE '90s.
- OH SWEET, YEAH.

433
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:17,857
- I SEE YOU'VE GOTTEN A LOT BETTER AT SLOW DANCING.
- OH, YOU'RE FUNNY.

434
00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:19,826
JOE? TONY?

435
00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:21,761
- ( fighting below )
- WHERE ARE YOU GUYS?

436
00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:22,895
YOU LIKE YOUR BOSS!

437
00:19:22,929 --> 00:19:26,766
HEY, SHE'S NOT MY BOSS.
I'M FREELANCE.

438
00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:30,803
( both grunting )

439
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:33,840
HEY HEY, GUYS, STOP THIS.

440
00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:36,643
I TOLD YOU TO NOT
MAKE A MOVE WITH HER.

441
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,778
STOP... STOP FIGHTING OVER ME.

442
00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:40,680
- YOU?
- YEAH.

443
00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:43,850
YOU'RE FIGHTING OVER
ME, AREN'T YOU?

444
00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:46,586
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU KNOW WHAT?

445
00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:49,589
THE TRUTH IS THAT WE'RE FIGHTING

446
00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:53,660
BECAUSE JOE DOESN'T HAVE
THE COURAGE TO ADMIT

447
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:56,829
THAT HE STILL HOLDS A TORCH FOR
ANDREA DITTMAN AFTER 15 YEARS

448
00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:59,832
WHEN I'M THE ONE SHE WANTED.

449
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:01,601
YEAH.

450
00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:04,937
YEP, THAT'S... THAT'S WHAT
WE WERE FIGHTING ABOUT.

451
00:20:04,971 --> 00:20:06,673
THAT'S IT.

452
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:09,742
WHAT ABOUT WHAT HE DID TO ME
WITH THE PRIVATE PICTURES?

453
00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:12,679
OH YEAH, WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?

454
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,681
I DO WHAT I WANT WITH MY ART.

455
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:17,617
I'VE HAD IT WITH YOUR ART.

456
00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:18,851
I DIDN'T SAY TACKLE HIM.

457
00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:21,821
OH, LONGOS... NEVER LET
THEM IN YOUR HOUSE.

458
00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:24,924
( both shouting )

459
00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:34,934
I'LL GO TO THE PARTY.
I'LL TEXT YOU.

460
00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:36,736
I'LL REMEMBER WHAT
EVERYBODY WORE.

461
00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:38,938
NOBODY WILL KISS ME. IT'LL
BE JUST LIKE YOU WERE THERE.

462
00:20:38,971 --> 00:20:42,875
YOU'RE A GOOD BOY. BRING
YOUR SISTER SOME CAKE.

463
00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:45,712
I'M JUST GONNA LIE DOWN.

464
00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:48,948
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING,
FIGHTING IN THE HOUSE?

465
00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:50,750
I KNOW, I KNOW.

466
00:20:50,783 --> 00:20:52,885
YOU KNOW, IF TONY WAS HERE, I
WOULD SMACK YOUR HEADS TOGETHER.

467
00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:56,689
THE NEXT TIME YOU HAVE A DISAGREEMENT
WITH SOMEONE, USE YOUR WORDS.

468
00:20:56,723 --> 00:20:57,924
OKAY.

469
00:20:57,957 --> 00:21:00,226
I'M JUST GLAD THIS HOUSE IS
GONNA BE DOWN TO ONE LONGO.

470
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:01,994
THAT SHOULD BE THE LEGAL LIMIT.

471
00:21:02,028 --> 00:21:05,965
OH MY GOSH, MEL! THE
COMMENTS, THE COMMENTS.

472
00:21:05,998 --> 00:21:08,901
- WHAT COMMENTS?
- ALL ABOUT YOUR RACY PHOTOS ON "THE TOLEDO BLADE" WEBSITE.

473
00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:11,237
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M STILL
UPSET ABOUT THOSE PHOTOS.

474
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:12,939
I DON'T WANT TO HEAR
ABOUT IT ANYMORE.

475
00:21:12,972 --> 00:21:14,741
WOMEN EVERYWHERE LOVE YOU.

476
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:16,743
I KNEW THEY DID.
TELL ME HOW MUCH.

477
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:20,780
THIS MUCH! ONLY EVEN MORE
BECAUSE MY WINGSPAN IS PETITE.

478
00:21:20,813 --> 00:21:23,716
LOOK... THEY SAY YOU'RE
"LIBERATED, INDEPENDENT"...

479
00:21:23,750 --> 00:21:26,252
"STRONG, SEXY, EMPOWERED."

480
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:27,854
YOU'RE LIKE BEYONCE.

481
00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:29,756
I AM.

482
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:32,759
THIS WHOLE TONY THING ENDED
UP BEING A GOOD DEAL FOR YOU.

483
00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:34,761
I'M TELLING YOU, MY BROTHER IS
ACTUALLY A PRETTY GOOD GUY.

484
00:21:34,794 --> 00:21:35,928
AND HE'S FUN TO BE AROUND.

485
00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:37,864
ARE YOU CRAZY? AFTER
WHAT HE DID TO ME?

486
00:21:37,897 --> 00:21:39,832
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
YOU TOOK YOUR CLOTHES OFF

487
00:21:39,866 --> 00:21:41,768
IN A ROOM WITH A MAN AND A CAMERA.
WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?

488
00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:43,269
NOT THAT THEY WOULD END
UP ON "THE BLADE."

489
00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:46,706
- EVERYBODY LOVES YOU.
- YOUR APPROVAL RATINGS WENT THROUGH THE ROOF.

490
00:21:46,739 --> 00:21:48,775
YEAH, BUT I STILL
THINK HE'S A JERK.

491
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:50,276
WELL, HE'S MOVING IN
THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

492
00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:52,945
AND I INVITED HIM BACK
FOR THANKSGIVING.

493
00:21:52,979 --> 00:21:54,981
( theme music playing )