1 00:00:06,074 --> 00:00:09,510 "MELISSA & JOEY" IS RECORDED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE. 2 00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:12,180 - WHOA! - Mel: GUYS, SHH! HOLD IT DOWN. 3 00:00:12,213 --> 00:00:15,316 Mel: SO WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY? GONE JUST LIKE THAT, HUH? 4 00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:18,186 ALL RIGHT. YEAH, I'LL BREAK THE NEWS TO THE OFFICE. 5 00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:20,188 YEAH, GO AHEAD, SEND HIM FLOWERS. 6 00:00:20,221 --> 00:00:22,456 SOMETHING CHEAP. I NEVER REALLY LIKED THE GUY. 7 00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:25,359 A LITTLE RESPECT FOR THE DEAD, BURKE. 8 00:00:25,393 --> 00:00:28,429 NOTHING DIED EXCEPT OUR SOFTBALL TEAM'S SHOT AT THE TROPHY. 9 00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:31,199 OUR INTERN BRIAN BROKE HIS ARM, OR HIS LEG OR SOMETHING. 10 00:00:31,232 --> 00:00:34,135 YOU KNOW WHAT HE BROKE? HE BROKE MY HEART BECAUSE HE'S NOT PLAYING NOW. 11 00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:36,237 YOUR FIRST BASEMAN? HE WAS YOUR BEST PLAYER. 12 00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:38,272 YOU'VE GOT NO TEAM WITHOUT HIM. 13 00:00:40,141 --> 00:00:41,575 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? 14 00:00:41,609 --> 00:00:45,079 LOSE BADLY AND OFTEN. 15 00:00:45,113 --> 00:00:48,382 - JOE, DIDN'T YOU PLAY FIRST BASE IN COLLEGE? - NO, I DID NOT. 16 00:00:48,416 --> 00:00:51,185 YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE M.V.P. TWO YEARS IN A ROW. 17 00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:54,155 THREE. ( chuckles ) 18 00:00:54,188 --> 00:00:57,858 - DAMN. - HEY, JOE, HOW'D YOU LIKE TO PLAY ON OUR 19 00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,527 ONE-GAME-FROM-THE-FINALS OFFICE SOFTBALL TEAM? 20 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,495 I CAN'T. I DON'T WORK IN YOUR OFFICE. 21 00:01:01,529 --> 00:01:03,164 IT'S THE GOVERNMENT. NO ONE CHECKS. 22 00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:05,199 NO ONE BALANCES. NO ONE CARES. 23 00:01:05,233 --> 00:01:07,401 THERE'S NO WAY I'M PLAYING FOR THE "BAD NEWS BURKES." 24 00:01:07,435 --> 00:01:09,570 OH PLEASE, I WOULD NEVER COME UP WITH A NAME THAT LAME. 25 00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:12,273 WE'RE CALLED "MEL'S ANGELS." 26 00:01:12,306 --> 00:01:14,342 - IS THERE SWAG? - LIKE WHAT? 27 00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:16,610 I DON'T KNOW... A WATCH, A MOUNTAIN BIKE, 28 00:01:16,644 --> 00:01:18,412 A SPA GIFT BAG. 29 00:01:18,446 --> 00:01:21,182 YOU'D GET A PROFOUND SENSE OF SATISFACTION. 30 00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:23,484 - I WAS BORN WITH THAT. - JOE! 31 00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:25,886 FORGET IT, ALL RIGHT? THERE'S NO WAY YOU'RE TALKING ME INTO THIS. 32 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:28,522 AND MEL'S ANGELS IS ONE WIN AWAY FROM THE TROPHY! 33 00:01:28,556 --> 00:01:30,624 - WHOO-HOO! - WHOO! THANKS TO THE MIGHTY BAT 34 00:01:30,658 --> 00:01:33,627 OF MY FIRST BASEMAN, JOE "LONGBALL" LONGO. 35 00:01:33,661 --> 00:01:35,529 NOT TO MENTION THE AMAZING UNASSISTED DOUBLE PLAY 36 00:01:35,563 --> 00:01:38,466 - BY THE SECOND BASEMAN IN THE SEVENTH INNING. - YEAH. DID YOU ENJOY 37 00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:40,401 - MY UNASSISTED DOUBLE-PLAY DANCE? - I'M A LITTLE HAZY ON IT. 38 00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:41,635 - HOW DID THAT GO AGAIN? - LIKE THIS. 39 00:01:41,669 --> 00:01:43,571 - OH, LIKE... OKAY. - MM-HMM, ALL RIGHT, JOE. 40 00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:46,340 - LITTLE HIP, OKAY. - GO, LONGO. GO, LONGO. 41 00:01:46,374 --> 00:01:47,541 IT'S SO GROSS WHEN THEY GET ALONG. 42 00:01:47,575 --> 00:01:49,610 DON'T LOOK AT IT. 43 00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:52,346 NOW AREN'T YOU GLAD I TALKED YOU INTO JOINING THE TEAM? 44 00:01:52,380 --> 00:01:53,647 WAIT A MINUTE. BACK UP. YOU DIDN'T TALK ME INTO IT. 45 00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:55,583 YOU TOLD ME THE PLUSSES AND MINUSES. I MADE MY OWN DECISION. 46 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:57,218 YEAH, AFTER I TALKED YOU INTO IT. 47 00:01:57,251 --> 00:01:58,552 YOU'RE UNBELIEVABLE. EVERYTHING'S GOTTA BE YOUR WAY. 48 00:01:58,586 --> 00:02:00,521 WELL, I LIKE THINGS THE CORRECT WAY, 49 00:02:00,554 --> 00:02:02,290 - WHICH JUST HAPPENS TO BE MY WAY. - ( groans ) 50 00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:04,392 YAY, THEY'RE BACK. 51 00:02:04,425 --> 00:02:05,559 ( theme music playing ) 52 00:02:05,593 --> 00:02:08,629 ♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK ♪ 53 00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:11,465 ♪ WITH ME ♪ 54 00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,370 ALL RIGHT, GUYS, WE'VE GOT A LOT AT STAKE HERE. 55 00:02:16,404 --> 00:02:18,639 THE PEOPLE OF DISTRICT SEVEN ELECTED US FOR A REASON... 56 00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:21,542 TO WIN THE SOFTBALL LEAGUE TROPHY. 57 00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:23,311 Stephanie: WHOO! 58 00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:25,646 ALL RIGHT. NOW I KNOW WE'VE GOT BUDGET GAPS, 59 00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:27,548 AND LIBRARIES CLOSING, BUT THIS IS SOMETHING 60 00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:29,417 WE CAN ACTUALLY SUCCEED AT. 61 00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:31,485 NOW WE WERE THIS CLOSE TO WINNING LAST YEAR 62 00:02:31,519 --> 00:02:33,221 WHEN IT WAS SNATCHED OUT FROM UNDER US 63 00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:35,323 BY THE COUNCILMAN WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED. 64 00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:38,192 HANCOCK. HERBERT HANCOCK. 65 00:02:38,226 --> 00:02:40,661 COUNCILWOMAN BURKE. 66 00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:42,630 HERBERT, ALWAYS A PLEASURE TO SEE YOU. 67 00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:45,733 TALK UP AND DOWN YOUR BIG WIN ALL ABOUT 68 00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:47,435 AND YOUR NEW SUPERSTAR. 69 00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:48,736 WHICH ONE OF THESE FINE... ( chuckles ) 70 00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:52,440 ATHLETIC SPECIMENS IS "LONGBALL" LONGO? 71 00:02:54,442 --> 00:02:57,378 - HE'S NOT HERE. - HOW CONVENIENT. 72 00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:58,646 PEOPLE LEAVE THEIR OFFICES ALL THE TIME. 73 00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:00,614 IF I WENT TO YOUR OFFICE RIGHT NOW, YOU'D BE OUT. 74 00:03:00,648 --> 00:03:02,283 THAT'S HOW IT IS WITH JOE TOO. 75 00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:05,319 I SEE. WHAT EXACTLY DOES THIS JOE LONGO DO? 76 00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:08,756 - HE'S MEL'S NAN... HE'S MY OFFICE MANAGER. 77 00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:11,592 SO IF I COME BACK I'LL SEE HIM? R TOMORROW, 78 00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:14,228 I'VE SEEN HIM MANY MANY TIMES WORKING. 79 00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:15,596 HERE. DOING HIS JOB. 80 00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:17,331 - MANAGING THINGS. - AHEM. 81 00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:18,799 I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING HIM. 82 00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:24,605 - JOE DOESN'T WORK HERE. - OR DOES HE? 83 00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:26,607 - ( phone rings ) - OH, I'LL GET THAT. 84 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,509 COUNCILWOMAN BURKE'S OFFICE. 85 00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:30,678 I'M ANSWERING THE NEXT ONE. 86 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,614 HEY, HOW'S EVERYTHING GOING HERE? 87 00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:35,783 GOOD GOOD GOOD. OUT OF MY MIND.TLE BORED 88 00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:37,518 DO ME A FAVOR... IN THE FACE? NCH ME 89 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,753 - I WANT TO FEEL SOMETHING. - OH, COME ON. 90 00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:42,656 IN TWO HOURS WE'RE IN PARKING ENFORCEMENT. 91 00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:44,525 CA... YOU JUST HAD CAKE. 92 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:45,726 NO, THAT WAS FOR NATHAN IN ANIMAL CONTROL, 93 00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:47,495 AND IT WAS BEFORE LUNCH. 94 00:03:47,528 --> 00:03:50,398 THIS ONE'S TOTALLY DIFFERENT... IT'S GONNA BE YELLOW. 95 00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:52,500 - YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GONNA GO HOME. - NO NO NO NO NO. 96 00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:53,801 COME ON, WE'LL FIND SOMETHING FOR YOU TO DO. 97 00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:57,438 OKAY, YOU WERE MY CLOSET AT HOME.RGANIZING 98 00:03:57,471 --> 00:03:59,607 WE HAVE A REALLY MESSY CLOSET HERE TOO. 99 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:01,609 NAH, I DON'T WANNA ORGANIZE IT. 100 00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:03,043 WHAT KIND OF CLOSET IS IT? 101 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:04,612 A HUGE SUPPLY CLOSET. 102 00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:06,447 COME ON, IT'S A DISASTER. 103 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:07,581 NO ONE CAN FIND ANYTHING IN THERE. 104 00:04:07,615 --> 00:04:09,617 I GUESS IT WOULDN'T HURT TO TAKE A LOOK. 105 00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:11,719 GO TEAM. 106 00:04:15,556 --> 00:04:17,791 - HEY, LENNOX. - HEY, HOLLY. 107 00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:22,796 WELL, THAT'S ODD. MY SHORT STORY.SHE LOVED 108 00:04:22,830 --> 00:04:24,598 YOU GAVE IT TO HER, RIGHT? 109 00:04:24,632 --> 00:04:27,267 WELL, OF COURSE, BUT NOT YET. 110 00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:30,471 YOU SEE, AS EDITOR OF THE LITERARY BLOG, 111 00:04:30,504 --> 00:04:32,606 SHE'S REALLY BUSY AND IMPOSSIBLE TO TRACK DOWN. 112 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,608 MAYBE THE GIRL WHO JUST WENT IN THE KITCHEN 113 00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:35,743 KNOWS WHERE YOU CAN FIND HER. 114 00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:39,580 IT'D BE A SHAME IF MY STORY DIDN'T GET POSTED 115 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,415 AND THINGS GOT WEIRD BETWEEN US. 116 00:04:41,449 --> 00:04:42,583 REALLY, THAT COULD HAPPEN? 117 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,485 THAT COULD HAPPEN. 118 00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:48,088 - BE RIGHT BACK. - ( chuckles ) 119 00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:49,623 THANKS, SQUEAKY MOUSE. 120 00:04:51,759 --> 00:04:54,528 HEY, I MEANT TO GIVE YOU THIS. 121 00:04:54,562 --> 00:04:57,865 IT HAS HOLLY'S SHORT STORY FOR EXCLUSIVE PUBLICATION IN "THE GRANT RANT." 122 00:04:57,898 --> 00:05:01,702 SHE COULD'VE TAKEN IT ANYWHERE, BUT SHE CAME TO YOU FIRST. 123 00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:04,071 SERIOUSLY? 124 00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:05,473 YOU THINK I'M GONNA PUBLISH HER STORY 125 00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:07,475 JUST BECAUSE YOU TWO ARE GOING OUT? 126 00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:09,810 BUT IT'S REALLY GOOD. 127 00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:11,679 OH, SO YOU'VE READ IT. 128 00:05:11,712 --> 00:05:13,881 I'M AFRAID TO... 129 00:05:15,416 --> 00:05:16,717 'CAUSE I MAY NOT LIKE IT 130 00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:18,919 AND I THINK SHE CAN READ MY THOUGHTS. 131 00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:22,623 YOU ARE TRULY SAD. 132 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,925 BUT SAD WITH A GIRLFRIEND. 133 00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:29,863 WHO WANTS A FROSTED PIECE OF HEAVEN? 134 00:05:29,897 --> 00:05:32,633 BURKE, DISASTER AVERTED. 135 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,768 LOOK WHAT I FOUND... TYPEWRITER RIBBON. 136 00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:38,672 YEAH, I'M GONNA DONATE THIS TO THE MUSEUM OF CRAP THAT NO ONE USES ANYMORE. 137 00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:42,743 CAKE, JOE? I SAVED YOU HALF MY FLOWER. 138 00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:46,547 THANK YOU, STEPHANIE. 139 00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:49,650 SO THIS IS THE YELLOW CAKE I'VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT? 140 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:52,653 JOE, THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR OFFICE MORALE. 141 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,622 YEAH, 'CAUSE NOTHING BRINGS AN OFFICE TOGETHER LIKE... 142 00:05:54,655 --> 00:05:55,856 FAT AND CHOLESTEROL. 143 00:05:57,425 --> 00:05:58,926 DING-DONG. I SMELL CAKE. 144 00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:02,663 COUNCILMAN HANCOCK, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET JOE LONGO. 145 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,898 SURPRISED TO SEE YOU HERE, LONGO. 146 00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:06,934 WHY WOULD YOU BE SURPRISED? HE WORKS HERE, DON'T YOU? 147 00:06:06,967 --> 00:06:09,703 - YES, I DO. - AND YOU'RE THE OFFICE MANAGER, RIGHT? 148 00:06:09,737 --> 00:06:11,672 THAT'S WHAT THEY TELL ME. 149 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,674 YOU MUST KNOW YOUR WAY AROUND. 150 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:16,176 TELL ME THIS... IF I WANTED TO WALK DOWN THE HALL 151 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:17,978 TO THE MEN'S ROOM, WHICH WAY WOULD I TURN? 152 00:06:19,647 --> 00:06:22,616 TO THE RIGHT AND DOWN THE STAIRS. 153 00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:25,586 OH, AND STALL NUMBER THREE IS OUT OF ORDER. 154 00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:26,920 DO NOT GO IN THERE. 155 00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:30,424 YOU WIN THIS ROUND, LONGO. 156 00:06:30,458 --> 00:06:32,593 BUT I'LL BE BACK... 157 00:06:32,626 --> 00:06:34,495 MAYBE TOMORROW, MAYBE THE NEXT DAY. 158 00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:36,664 YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN I MIGHT SHOW UP. 159 00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:41,702 - OH, THAT WENT GREAT. - GREAT? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 160 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,571 HE SAID HE COULD COME BACK AT ANY TIME. 161 00:06:43,604 --> 00:06:45,673 OH, DON'T WORRY. HE ONLY COMES BACK WHEN THERE'S CAKE. 162 00:06:45,706 --> 00:06:48,609 YOU... YOU HAVE CAKE TWICE A DAY. 163 00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:53,447 - I GUESS YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO STAY HERE THE WHOLE WEEK. - UH, DOING WHAT EXACTLY? 164 00:06:53,481 --> 00:06:56,517 I WAS JUST IN THE SUPPLY CLOSET LOOKING FOR A BLUE HIGHLIGHTER, 165 00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:59,853 AND THERE IT WAS ON A SHELF WITH A LABEL. 166 00:06:59,887 --> 00:07:02,456 HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? 167 00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:05,626 JUST A LITTLE ANGEL NAMED JOE. 168 00:07:05,659 --> 00:07:07,728 - WHOO! - COME ON, NOW. 169 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,463 I DIDN'T DO IT FOR THE PRAISE. 170 00:07:09,497 --> 00:07:11,231 I JUST DID WHAT ANYONE ELSE WOULD'VE DONE IN THERE. 171 00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:13,934 - WAY TO GO, LONGBALL. - ( chuckles ) 172 00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:29,850 - SO WHAT'S FOR DINNER? - BREAKFAST. 173 00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:33,687 SO YOU READ HOLLY'S SHORT STORY, 174 00:07:33,721 --> 00:07:35,589 YOU LOVED IT AND YOU'RE GONNA PUBLISH IT, RIGHT? 175 00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:36,924 PLEASE SAY YES. 176 00:07:38,626 --> 00:07:39,893 THE STORY'S MISSING SOME THINGS. 177 00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:42,563 - LIKE WHAT? - A BEGINNING, 178 00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:44,665 A MIDDLE, AN END. 179 00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:47,267 BUT OTHER THAN THAT, IT SUCKS. 180 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:50,538 I'M SORRY, BUT I RUN A LITERARY BLOG 181 00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:51,872 - AND WE HAVE STANDARDS. - COME ON. 182 00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:53,907 I'M ALREADY ON BOYFRIEND PROBATION. 183 00:07:53,941 --> 00:07:55,943 I'M JUST SAYING IT'S SILLY FOR ME TO BE SITTING THERE 184 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:57,645 ALL WEEK LONG WITH NOTHING IMPORTANT TO DO. 185 00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:59,513 BUT YOU DID A HELL OF A JOB IN THE SUPPLY CLOSET. 186 00:07:59,547 --> 00:08:00,514 OH, THAT WAS A CLOSET. 187 00:08:00,548 --> 00:08:04,051 ALBEIT A VERY CHALLENGING CLOSET, BUT STILL, 188 00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:05,686 I NEED SOMETHING WORTHY OF MY SKILLS. 189 00:08:05,719 --> 00:08:08,522 - WHAT'S THAT? - WELL, THAT'S MY DINNER. 190 00:08:08,556 --> 00:08:10,958 - IT'S PRETTY GOOD. - OH. GIVE ME THREE MINUTES, 191 00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,660 I'LL HAVE SOMETHING HOT ON THE TABLE. 192 00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:15,596 AUNT MEL, WOULD YOU PLEASE READ HOLLY'S STORY 193 00:08:15,629 --> 00:08:17,064 - AND TELL LENNOX HOW GOOD IT IS? - OH NO NO. 194 00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:18,766 I'M NOT GETTING IN THE MIDDLE OF THAT. 195 00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:21,569 THAT LITTLE PIT BULL SCARES THE HELL OUT OF ME. 196 00:08:21,602 --> 00:08:23,971 I MEAN, NOT IN A BAD WAY. SHE'S SWEET. I LOVE HER. 197 00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,807 I'LL SAVE YOU THE TROUBLE. 198 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:30,077 - THE STORY'S NOT GOOD. - YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING FOR ME. 199 00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:33,013 I MADE YOU DINNER. 200 00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:36,016 ALL RIGHT, FINE. I'D BE WILLING TO SIT DOWN WITH HOLLY 201 00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:39,019 AND WORK THROUGH THE STORY TO SEE IF WE CAN'T MAKE IT BARELY PASSABLE. 202 00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:42,556 THAT'S ALL I'M ASKING. I'M SURE SHE'D BE OPEN TO THAT. 203 00:08:42,590 --> 00:08:44,625 OH HEY, JOE, BEFORE I FORGET, 204 00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:47,327 EVERYBODY'S GOT TO BE IN TOMORROW AT 8:00 FOR A SEXUAL HARASSMENT SEMINAR. 205 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,296 OH, THE GUY WHO DOES IT HAS THE CUTEST BUTT. 206 00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:51,699 YOU JUST WANT TO GRAB IT. 207 00:08:51,732 --> 00:08:52,866 YOU'RE REALLY PUTTING A LOT OF EMPHASIS 208 00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:53,967 ON WINNING THIS STUPID LITTLE TROPHY, YOU KNOW THAT? 209 00:08:54,001 --> 00:08:57,938 IT'S A BIG TROPHY, OKAY? IT'S BIGGER THAN STEPHANIE. 210 00:08:57,971 --> 00:09:00,841 YOU DO REALIZE I'M NOT ACTUALLY YOUR OFFICE MANAGER, THOUGH, RIGHT? 211 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,976 BUT YOU COULD BE. 212 00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:05,679 AS OF TOMORROW, I AM RELEASING ALL OF YOUR LONGO-NESS. 213 00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:07,114 YOU ARE COMPLETELY IN CHARGE. 214 00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:09,583 - I'M GONNA BE OFFICE MANAGER? - THE WHOLE WEEK. 215 00:09:09,617 --> 00:09:11,619 I DO HAVE SOME IDEAS ABOUT INCREASING EFFICIENCY AROUND THERE. 216 00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:12,886 LISTEN TO YOU, ALL EFFICIENCY. 217 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:15,623 "JOE LONGO, EXECUTIVE NINJA." 218 00:09:15,656 --> 00:09:18,091 OOH! I LIKE THAT. 219 00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:23,130 HOLLY, YOU DON'T NEED ALL THIS BACKGROUND INFORMATION. 220 00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:25,633 YOU COULD JUST START THE STORY ON PAGE THREE. 221 00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:29,369 THE STORY STARTS ON PAGE ONE. 222 00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:32,039 THAT'S WHY IT'S CALLED "PAGE ONE." 223 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:34,107 HOW ABOUT WE COMPROMISE AND START ON PAGE TWO? 224 00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:37,144 NO. WHY ARE YOU GIVING ME ALL THESE COMMENTS? 225 00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:39,046 RYDER TOLD ME YOU JUST WANTED TO GET TOGETHER 226 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,782 - TO TELL ME HOW GREAT MY STORY IS. - WHAT? 227 00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:46,754 WELL, SURE, BUT IF THERE'S SOME TINY THING THAT COULD BE IMPROVED, 228 00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:48,956 YOU COULD MAKE WHAT IS GREAT EVEN GREATER. 229 00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:51,358 LIKE WHAT HAPPENED TO MY LIFE 230 00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:53,661 WHEN YOU GOT ADDED TO IT. 231 00:09:54,995 --> 00:09:56,163 YOU KNOW WHAT, RYDER? 232 00:09:56,196 --> 00:09:58,632 I JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE I HAVE A PARTNER 233 00:09:58,666 --> 00:10:00,634 IN THIS RELATIONSHIP ANYMORE. 234 00:10:00,668 --> 00:10:02,602 ARE YOU BREAKING UP WITH ME? 235 00:10:03,804 --> 00:10:06,406 I THINK IT'S KIND OF MUTUAL. 236 00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:09,042 NO. NO NO NO, DON'T! PLEASE. 237 00:10:09,076 --> 00:10:11,211 THIS IS WHAT'S BEST FOR ALL OF US. 238 00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:14,648 EXCEPT FOR YOU. 239 00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,651 NO, BUT YOUR STORY WAS GREAT 240 00:10:17,685 --> 00:10:20,087 AND I LOVED ALL YOUR UNNECESSARY BACKGROUND CRAP... 241 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,222 I MEAN GEMS. 242 00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:26,660 - LENNOX, WHAT DID YOU DO? - WHAT DID I DO? 243 00:10:26,694 --> 00:10:28,829 YOU TOLD ME SHE'D BE OPEN TO MY FEEDBACK. 244 00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:32,065 - YOU LIED TO BOTH OF US. - WELL, SURE, WHAT CHOICE DID I HAVE? 245 00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:34,101 WHY DO YOU EVEN PUT UP WITH HOLLY? 246 00:10:35,703 --> 00:10:37,204 'CAUSE I REALLY LIKE HER. 247 00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:42,943 SEVEN HOURS IN THE POLICE DEPARTMENT CONFERENCE ROOM. 248 00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:45,445 BAD LIGHTING ANYONE? NOT ONE OF THOSE COPS HIT ON ME, 249 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:46,947 PROBABLY BECAUSE OF THE BAD LIGHTING. 250 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:50,450 - HOW'S EVERYTHING HERE? - COULDN'T BE GOING BETTER, BUT IT'S GONNA BE. 251 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,052 I CAME UP WITH A REWARD SYSTEM 252 00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:53,987 TO INCREASE CONSTITUENT CALL VOLUME. 253 00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:56,023 AS LONG AS YOU DIDN'T HURT YOUR THROWING ARM. 254 00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:58,191 WHAT? NO, THAT'S FINE. HANCOCK STOPPED BY, THOUGH, 255 00:10:58,225 --> 00:11:00,193 JUST TO SAY HI. YEAH. 256 00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:02,095 OH, I GOTTA GO. I GOTTA SHOW THE I.T. GUYS 257 00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:03,831 HOW THAT NEW SOFTWARE WORKS. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 258 00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:07,801 OH, RAJIV, AJAY, LET'S MAKE THIS HAPPEN, GUYS. COME ON. 259 00:11:09,236 --> 00:11:13,240 DID YOU SEE THAT? MY AMAZING FIRST BASEMAN/ OFFICE MANAGER 260 00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:16,777 - IS ACTUALLY HAPPY TO BE HERE. - HE'S THE ONLY ONE. LOOK. 261 00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:19,847 "A MEMO TO ALL STAFF FROM JOE LONGO, OFFICE MANAGER." 262 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:22,149 - HOW DID HE GET HIS OWN LETTERHEAD? - JUST READ. 263 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,985 "TO BOOST EFFICIENCIES AND ELIMINATE DISTRACTIONS, 264 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,921 ALL OFFICE PERSONNEL ARE HEREBY BARRED FROM USING FACEBOOK." 265 00:11:27,955 --> 00:11:30,991 - WHAT?! - I KNOW! I WANTED TO POST HOW UPSET I WAS, 266 00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:33,160 - BUT I COULDN'T. - "FURTHERMORE, 267 00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:35,262 IN ORDER TO ELIMINATE REDUNDANCIES IN BIRTHDAY CELEBRATIONS, 268 00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:37,831 OFFICE BIRTHDAYS WILL BE ACCRUED AND CELEBRATED QUARTERLY." 269 00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:40,267 TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY. 270 00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,736 OF COURSE IT IS, BIRTHDAY GIRL. 271 00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:45,272 THAT'S WHY I GOT YOU... 272 00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:47,274 A SURPRISE. 273 00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:50,143 WELL, NEVER MIND, BECAUSE I'VE BEEN ACCRUED. 274 00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:52,045 WE'LL BE CELEBRATING IT IN TWO MONTHS 275 00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:55,749 WITH A CAKE THAT SAYS "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALLS Y'ALL." 276 00:11:55,783 --> 00:11:57,250 DON'T WORRY. YOU ARE GONNA HAVE YOUR CAKE, LITTLE MISSY. 277 00:11:57,284 --> 00:11:59,286 NEW SPEECH, CHAMBER OF COMMERCE, WEDNESDAY. 278 00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:01,121 HEY, WYATT, WAIT. HOW'S YOUR MOM DOING? 279 00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:03,857 - IS SHE OFF THAT HEART-LUNG MACHINE? - I WOULDN'T KNOW. 280 00:12:03,891 --> 00:12:05,926 - PERSONAL CALLS HAVE BEEN BANNED. - REALLY? 281 00:12:05,959 --> 00:12:07,928 YEAH. I'VE GOTTA GET BACK 282 00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:10,497 BEFORE WARDEN LONGO NOTICES I'M AWAY FROM MY POST. 283 00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:12,900 Joe: WYATT, WHY DO I SEE AN EMPTY DESK OUT HERE? 284 00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:16,069 - GOTTA GO. - ARE YOU GONNA TALK TO JOE 285 00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:18,071 OR ARE YOU GONNA WEASEL OUT BECAUSE HE'S THE TICKET 286 00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:20,173 - TO YOUR PRECIOUS SOFTBALL TROPHY? - DON'T WORRY. 287 00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:22,843 - I'LL TALK TO HIM. - HEY, I JUST GOT OUT OF THE BREAK ROOM. 288 00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:27,047 DO WE REALLY NEED 17 DIFFERENT KINDS OF HERBAL TEA IN THERE? 289 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,249 SO, JOE, A LOT OF CHANGES IN THE LAST COUPLE OF HOURS. 290 00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:31,218 YEAH, IT'S REALLY HUMMING OUT THERE, HUH? YOU DON'T HAVE TO THANK ME. 291 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:33,854 - IT JUST FEELS GOOD TO GET MY OFFICE MOJO BACK. - YEAH, I CAN SEE THAT. 292 00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:36,924 CAN WE GO BIG PICTURE HERE FOR A MINUTE THOUGH? 293 00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:39,927 ABSOLUTELY. YEAH, I AM ALL YOURS FOR 60 SECONDS. GO. 294 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,195 OKAY, WELL, YOU KNOW IT'S A TEAM EFFORT HERE 295 00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:44,331 AND THE CAPTAIN OF THAT TEAM IS OBVIOUSLY... 296 00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:46,333 ME, THE OFFICE MANAGER. 297 00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:49,803 - ONE MORE GUESS. - WHAT? YOU? 298 00:12:49,837 --> 00:12:51,872 NO, NOT YOU. YOU'RE THE TEAM OWNER. 299 00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:53,273 WE'RE ALL DOING THIS FOR YOU. WE'RE BUSTING OUR BUTTS 300 00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:55,308 TO MAKE MONEY... LOTS OF MONEY. 301 00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:59,346 OR WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU GUYS DO HERE IN THIS OFFICE. 302 00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:01,081 IT'S THE GOVERNMENT. 303 00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:03,250 IT'S NOT FOR PROFIT. IT'S FOR SERVICE. 304 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:06,086 SO WHEN YOU SEND OUT MEMOS WITHOUT MY APPROVAL, 305 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,855 ON STATIONERY I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU GOT, 306 00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:10,257 IT'S... WELL, LET ME JUST PUT IT THIS WAY... 307 00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:13,026 IT DOESN'T PISS ME ON. 308 00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:17,197 MEL, YOU TOLD ME I COULD MAKE THIS OFFICE MORE EFFICIENT. 309 00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:19,266 YOU TOLD ME TO UNLEASH MY EXECUTIVE NINJA. 310 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,835 NOW YOU WANT ME TO JUST HANDCUFF MY NINJA? 311 00:13:21,869 --> 00:13:23,336 MY NINJA'S NOT GONNA BE HANDCUFFED. 312 00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:25,305 IF I'M GONNA HANDCUFF MY NINJA, I MIGHT AS WELL GO HOME. 313 00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:27,074 NO NO NO NO NO! I NEED YOU. 314 00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:29,910 NO, YOU NEED ME TO PLAY ON THE SOFTBALL TEAM. 315 00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:31,845 NO NO NO, WE NEED YOU FOR OUR TEAM HERE, 316 00:13:31,879 --> 00:13:33,280 NOT JUST THE SOFTBALL TEAM. 317 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:35,148 EVERYBODY HERE LOVES YOU. 318 00:13:35,182 --> 00:13:37,851 I MEAN, TRUST ME. I WOULD TELL YOU IF THEY DIDN'T. 319 00:13:37,885 --> 00:13:39,386 I DON'T KEEP THINGS FROM YOU. 320 00:13:39,419 --> 00:13:44,324 ( all whispering ) ♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU. 321 00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:47,360 - MAKE A WISH, STEPHANIE. - THERE'S NOT ENOUGH ROOM. 322 00:13:47,394 --> 00:13:50,330 COME ON, BLOW OUT THE CANDLES BEFORE THE SPRINKLER SYSTEM GOES OFF. 323 00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:55,835 - ( all whisper ) YAY! - SHH! 324 00:14:01,909 --> 00:14:04,878 ( crickets chirping ) 325 00:14:04,912 --> 00:14:07,014 HOLLY TEXTED ME. SHE'S ON HER WAY OVER. 326 00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:08,916 THAT'S A GOOD SIGN, DON'T YOU THINK? 327 00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:11,952 GOOD SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE. 328 00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:13,386 I'M SURE SHE'S JUST RETHINKING THE BREAKUP 329 00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:16,623 AND WANTS TO TALK IT OVER. OR KILL YOU. 330 00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:18,625 ( doorbell chimes ) 331 00:14:18,658 --> 00:14:20,928 DO YOU WANT ME TO STAY AND HELP YOU HANDLE THIS 332 00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:22,095 OR PROVIDE FIRST AID? 333 00:14:22,129 --> 00:14:23,997 NO. NO, THAT'S FINE. 334 00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,201 ( sighs ) 335 00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:33,473 HOLLY. WON'T YOU COME IN AND BE MY GIRLFRIEND? 336 00:14:34,942 --> 00:14:37,911 RYDER, WE ARE ESTRANGED, 337 00:14:37,945 --> 00:14:39,913 SO I THOUGHT IT BEST IF I TOOK BACK 338 00:14:39,947 --> 00:14:41,448 CERTAIN MEMENTOS OF OUR TIME TOGETHER. 339 00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:43,917 WE'LL START WITH THAT SHIRT. 340 00:14:43,951 --> 00:14:47,120 BUT YOU GAVE ME THIS SHIRT. I LOVE THIS SHIRT. 341 00:14:47,154 --> 00:14:49,990 AND THAT'S WHY WE'RE STARTING WITH IT. 342 00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:51,091 TAKE IT OFF. 343 00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:53,193 I HOPE YOU HAVE A T-SHIRT ON UNDERNEATH, 344 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,228 BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR BONY STERNUM. 345 00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:58,665 ( sighs ) LOOK, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW 346 00:14:58,698 --> 00:15:00,934 THAT LENNOX ISN'T SAYING SHE WON'T PUBLISH YOUR STORY. 347 00:15:00,968 --> 00:15:03,336 SHE JUST WANTS TO WORK WITH YOU TO MAKE IT BETTER. 348 00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:05,939 I HATE TO ADMIT IT, BUT MY SISTER REALLY DOES KNOW 349 00:15:05,973 --> 00:15:07,440 A LOT ABOUT THIS WRITING STUFF. 350 00:15:07,474 --> 00:15:09,076 MAYBE YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO HER. 351 00:15:10,978 --> 00:15:12,379 SHIRT. 352 00:15:15,983 --> 00:15:17,350 ( sighs ) 353 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:23,323 I'M JUST GLAD SHE FORGOT SHE GAVE ME THESE PANTS. 354 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:30,863 ( knocks ) 355 00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:33,233 - BURKE, YOU GOT A MINUTE? - ( shower running ) 356 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:37,370 - Mel: WHAT? - OKAY, WELL, I REARRANGED THE OFFICE SCHEDULE 357 00:15:37,404 --> 00:15:40,440 SO WE COULD FIT IN A FEW MORE BATTING PRACTICES BEFORE SATURDAY'S GAME. 358 00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:42,442 Mel: OKAY. 359 00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:44,377 AND I KNOW YOU WANTED TO PUT OFF FINDING A NEW INTERN, 360 00:15:44,411 --> 00:15:46,379 BUT WHY WAIT, YOU KNOW? 361 00:15:46,413 --> 00:15:48,381 SO I SCHEDULED 14 CANDIDATES FOR YOU TO MEET, ALL RIGHT? 362 00:15:48,415 --> 00:15:50,117 WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO CANCEL YOUR LUNCH, BUT THAT'S HOW IT GOES. 363 00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:52,385 YOU DID WHAT? 364 00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:54,321 CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT THIS LATER? 365 00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:56,389 SURE, I'M ACTUALLY GONNA HEAD INTO THE OFFICE EARLY. 366 00:15:56,423 --> 00:15:58,258 I'VE GOTTA SHOW HANNA HOW TO MAKE A PROPER CUP OF COFFEE. 367 00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:00,527 I'LL SEE YOU THERE. 368 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,996 - ( door shuts ) - ( shower stops ) 369 00:16:03,030 --> 00:16:07,134 ( sighs ) ONLY THREE MORE DAYS OF JOE. 370 00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:09,136 TROPHY, TROPHY, TROPHY, TROPHY! 371 00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:12,039 ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY, LET'S ROCK 'N' ROLL. 372 00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:13,140 I GOTTA GET TO WORK. 373 00:16:13,173 --> 00:16:15,175 HUH. "I GOTTA GET TO WORK." 374 00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:17,410 I LOVE SAYING THAT. I JUST LOVE SAYING THAT. 375 00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:21,214 OH, HEY, I WANTED TO TELL YOU, 376 00:16:21,248 --> 00:16:24,151 I'VE DECIDED TO PUBLISH HOLLY'S STORY THE WAY SHE WROTE IT. 377 00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:26,153 DON'T MESS WITH ME, LENNOX, 378 00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:28,455 'CAUSE I'M KINDA FRAGILE RIGHT NOW. 379 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,757 NO, I'M GONNA POST IT AS IS. 380 00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:32,292 WHY WOULD YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND? 381 00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:36,263 WELL, YOU KNOW, I RESPECT HER ARTISTIC VISION. 382 00:16:36,296 --> 00:16:37,797 IT'S NOT THE WAY I WOULD'VE DONE IT, 383 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:40,267 BUT THERE'S A PLACE FOR WHAT SHE'S WRITTEN. 384 00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:43,503 - YOU FEEL SORRY FOR ME? - SO MUCH. 385 00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:46,139 WELL, THANK YOU BUT, YOU KNOW, 386 00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:48,208 HOLLY REALLY DOES HAVE A LOT OF SPECIAL QUALITIES. 387 00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:49,609 KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT. 388 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,146 HOW I GET THROUGH THE DAY. 389 00:16:54,147 --> 00:16:55,515 ( dog barks ) 390 00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:57,817 - ( people chattering ) - ( Mel sighs ) 391 00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,586 WOW, WE MADE IT. 392 00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:03,056 YEAH, I CAN'T BELIEVE WE GOT TO THE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME. 393 00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:06,293 ACTUALLY, I WAS THINKING WE MADE IT THROUGH A WEEK WITH JOE LONGO. 394 00:17:06,326 --> 00:17:09,028 I DON'T KNOW IF I'M EVER GONNA SEE HIM THE SAME WAY AGAIN. 395 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:12,165 I WAS WRONG. 396 00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:14,834 - WHEN DID HE GET HERE? - OH, HE'S BEEN HERE FOR HOURS. 397 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:17,337 HE WANTED TO SCOUT THE OPPONENTS, WATCH THEM AT BATTING PRACTICE. 398 00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:20,407 HE EVEN SENT THEM A MUFFIN BASKET SO THEY'D BE SLEEPY BY THE THIRD INNING. 399 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:23,110 COUNCILWOMAN BURKE. 400 00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:27,080 - HANCOCK. - YOU CAN TOUCH IT IF YOU LIKE. 401 00:17:27,114 --> 00:17:31,551 - CLOSE AS YOU'RE GONNA GET. - WOW. THAT IS GONNA LOOK SO GOOD ON MY DESK. 402 00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:34,387 - MAY THE BEST TEAM WIN. - OH, THANK YOU, WE WILL. 403 00:17:36,189 --> 00:17:38,391 ALL RIGHT, CHUCK, HERE'S OUR LINEUP CARD. 404 00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:41,494 I ALREADY GOT YOUR LINEUP CARD FROM LONGBALL OVER THERE. 405 00:17:41,528 --> 00:17:43,563 WHAT? BUT I DO THE LINEUP CARDS. 406 00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:46,866 - THAN WHAT'S THIS? - ALL RIGHT, LET'S PLAY SOME BALL. 407 00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:49,502 SCOTTY, THROW SOME DOUGHNUTS ON THIS BAT, TAKE SOME WARM-UP SWINGS. 408 00:17:49,536 --> 00:17:52,305 HEY, JOE, LISTEN... JUST A LITTLE THING. 409 00:17:52,339 --> 00:17:55,242 YOU KNOW, THE TEAM CAPTAIN IS THE ONE WHO DOES THE LINEUP CARDS. 410 00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:57,644 OH, MEL, LET'S NOT GET ALL CAUGHT UP ON TITLES AND LABELS. 411 00:17:57,677 --> 00:17:59,346 I MEAN, I AM THE OFFICE MANAGER, 412 00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:01,214 BUT WE NEED TO DO WHAT'S BEST FOR THE TEAM. 413 00:18:01,248 --> 00:18:03,316 OH REALLY? THEN WHY IS ORENSTEIN HITTING SIXTH? 414 00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:05,218 HE'S A CONTACT HITTER. HE SHOULD BE BATTING SECOND. 415 00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:08,355 AND THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME, BUT I ALWAYS LEAD OFF... ALWAYS. 416 00:18:08,388 --> 00:18:10,190 AND THAT'S NOT JUST TO GET THE GAME-OPENING APPLAUSE 417 00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:11,858 AND THE AIRHORN OVATION. 418 00:18:11,891 --> 00:18:14,861 I PUT YOU THIRD BECAUSE THE BEST HITTERS ALWAYS HIT THIRD AND FOURTH. 419 00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:17,430 - TRUST ME, THIS IS THE MOST EFFICIENT LINEUP FOR THE TEAM. - THAT'S RIGHT. 420 00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:19,666 YOU KNOW THE MOST EFFICIENT WAY TO DO EVERYTHING, JUST LIKE AT THE OFFICE. 421 00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:22,135 I DON'T SEE ANYBODY ELSE AT THE OFFICE COMPLAINING ABOUT IT. 422 00:18:22,169 --> 00:18:24,671 OH, THAT'S 'CAUSE WE WERE ALL HIDING IN THE CLOSET HAVING BIRTHDAY CAKE. 423 00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:26,573 YOU WERE... 424 00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:28,641 - WHAT? - NOTHING. YOU KNOW, AHEM... 425 00:18:28,675 --> 00:18:31,144 NEVER MIND. LET'S JUST... LET'S JUST FOCUS ON THIS GAME. 426 00:18:31,178 --> 00:18:33,280 WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE. YOU BLATANTLY IGNORED 427 00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:35,515 MY OFFICE MEMO THAT WE WERE ACCRUING ALL OFFICE BIRTHDAYS? 428 00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:38,285 THAT'S RIGHT. YEAH, WE ALL HID FROM YOU. 429 00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:40,287 WE HAD A BIRTHDAY CAKE IN THE SUPPLY CLOSET, 430 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,654 A GREAT BIG, GIANT BIRTHDAY CAKE, 431 00:18:41,688 --> 00:18:43,456 AND IT TASTED EVEN BETTER BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T THERE. 432 00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:45,525 HEY, I AM THE OFFICE MANAGER HERE, BURKE. 433 00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:47,694 NO NO, YOU'RE THE FAKE OFFICE MANAGER, OKAY? 434 00:18:47,727 --> 00:18:50,297 YOU'RE LIKE THE BLOW-UP DOLL YOU PUT IN THE PASSENGER SEAT 435 00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:51,698 SO YOU CAN GET ON THE CARPOOL LANE. 436 00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:53,600 YOU'RE ONLY HERE TO WIN THIS BASEBALL GAME FOR US. 437 00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,569 LET ME FINISH. 438 00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:59,206 OKAY, I'M DONE. 439 00:18:59,239 --> 00:19:02,175 WELL WELL WELL, LONGO'S A RINGER. 440 00:19:02,209 --> 00:19:04,711 I AM SHOCKED. SHOCKED. 441 00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:07,714 MR. UMPIRE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. 442 00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:10,717 I DO. GAME OVER. 443 00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,619 MEL'S ANGELS ARE DISQUALIFIED. 444 00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:15,688 WHAT? WAIT. WHAT? YOU CAN'T DO THAT. THAT'S NOT FAIR. 445 00:19:15,722 --> 00:19:17,524 THE GUY DOESN'T WORK AT YOUR OFFICE. 446 00:19:17,557 --> 00:19:19,326 BUT... WELL, BUT-BUT-BUT... 447 00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:20,493 I... BUT I REALLY WANTED TO WIN. 448 00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:23,496 I MEAN, I EVEN MADE A SPACE ON MY DESK FOR THE TROPHY. 449 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:28,568 I'M SORRY, YOU GUYS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. 450 00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:31,471 MEL, LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO RUIN THIS FOR YOU 451 00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:32,705 AND FOR THE WHOLE TEAM, SO HOLD ON A MINUTE. 452 00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:34,474 UMP, THERE'S BEEN A BIG MISTAKE HERE, OKAY? 453 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,309 THIS TEAM DESERVES TO PLAY IN THIS GAME. 454 00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:38,211 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. I WILL TAKE MY UNIFORM OFF FOR YOU RIGHT NOW. 455 00:19:38,245 --> 00:19:41,614 - TOO LATE. - AT LEAST LET HIM TAKE OFF THE UNIFORM. 456 00:19:41,648 --> 00:19:44,217 WHAT COULD IT HURT? 457 00:19:44,251 --> 00:19:47,220 LISTEN, BURKE, YOU AND I HAVE HAD OUR DIFFERENCES, 458 00:19:47,254 --> 00:19:50,390 BUT TODAY I THINK I CAN SAFELY SAY... 459 00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:52,625 LOSER! ( laughs ) 460 00:19:52,659 --> 00:19:54,994 OH. OH, TROPHY WANTS TO TALK TO YOU. 461 00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:58,331 BYE-BYE, MEL. SEE YOU... NEVER. 462 00:19:58,365 --> 00:20:00,367 ( chuckles ) GOOD ONE, TROPHY. 463 00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:04,337 WELL, THERE GOES A REAL CLASS ACT. 464 00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:07,640 I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY, MEL. 465 00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:10,310 - BETTER LUCK NEXT YEAR. - YEAH, I KNOW. 466 00:20:10,343 --> 00:20:12,245 YOU KNOW, I STAYED UP LATE LAST NIGHT CHOREOGRAPHING 467 00:20:12,279 --> 00:20:14,714 MY LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP VICTORY DANCE. 468 00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:16,516 I'M SURE EVERYBODY STILL WANTS TO SEE THAT. 469 00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:19,586 - NO. NO. - ALL RIGHT. NO? OKAY. 470 00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:22,021 WELL, THEN I'LL JUST SEE Y'ALL BACK AT THE OFFICE ON MONDAY. 471 00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:25,024 - ( all cheer ) - WHOO! CAN WE SEE IT, MEL? 472 00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:28,528 ALL RIGHT. FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT. 473 00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:31,398 - WHOO! - GO, MEL. GO, MEL. 474 00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:32,732 GO, MEL. GO, MEL. 475 00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:36,769 GO, MEL. GO, MEL. WHOO! 476 00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:38,237 WHOO-HOO! 477 00:20:46,613 --> 00:20:48,581 OH, I FORGOT TO TELL YOU. 478 00:20:48,615 --> 00:20:51,518 LAST NIGHT, ALL THE GUYS AND I WENT OUT DRINKING AFTER THE GAME 479 00:20:51,551 --> 00:20:54,421 THAT WE ALMOST PLAYED, AND WYATT GOT A LITTLE CHATTY. 480 00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:58,291 EXACTLY HOW MANY BIRTHDAY PARTIES DID YOU HAVE IN THAT SUPPLY CLOSET? 481 00:20:58,325 --> 00:20:59,626 - OKAY, THEY WEREN'T PARTIES. - HOW MANY? 482 00:20:59,659 --> 00:21:01,461 ONE. 483 00:21:01,494 --> 00:21:03,730 SIX, AND THERESA'S BABY SHOWER, 484 00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:05,732 ALTHOUGH THAT WAS NOT EASY. SHE IS HUGE. 485 00:21:07,434 --> 00:21:08,801 THERE YOU GO, SQUEAKY MOUSE. 486 00:21:08,835 --> 00:21:11,704 ( chuckles ) I'M SO GLAD MY SHIRT IS BACK. 487 00:21:11,738 --> 00:21:13,706 AND? 488 00:21:13,740 --> 00:21:16,643 AND YOU, SCARY BEAR. 489 00:21:18,811 --> 00:21:21,314 - OH, ARE YOU GOING TO ASK HER? - ABSOLUTELY. 490 00:21:21,348 --> 00:21:25,418 AUNT MEL? HOLLY'S LOOKING FOR A SUMMER INTERNSHIP 491 00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:28,721 - WITH A COUNCILPERSON, AND SHE WAS WONDERING... - I GOTTA GO. 492 00:21:32,392 --> 00:21:35,362 ( sighs ) I KNOW. 493 00:21:41,668 --> 00:21:43,770 ( theme music playing )