1 00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:09,710 "MELISSA & JOEY" IS RECORDED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE. 2 00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:12,080 - JOE, WHERE ARE MY SHOES? - BOX IN THE CORNER 3 00:00:12,113 --> 00:00:14,582 MARKED "MEL'S CRAP I KEEP TRIPPING OVER." 4 00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:17,218 ( gasps ) MY BABIES! 5 00:00:17,251 --> 00:00:20,354 AWWW! THESE SHOULD BE IN A BOX MARKED "THINGS I LIKE BETTER THAN YOU." 6 00:00:20,388 --> 00:00:22,223 AND IT WOULD BE A REALLY BIG BOX. 7 00:00:22,256 --> 00:00:24,392 IT'S ALL RIGHT. YOU CAN TAKE IT ALL OUT ON ME. I CAN HANDLE IT. 8 00:00:24,425 --> 00:00:27,495 I'VE GOT THICK SKIN. IT'S CURRENTLY COVERED IN THREE MONTHS' OF DRYWALL DUST. 9 00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:30,064 ( phone ringing ) 10 00:00:31,765 --> 00:00:33,734 HEY. YEAH. I'M STILL GETTING DRESSED. 11 00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:35,636 I'LL BE ON MY WAY IN 10 MINUTES. 12 00:00:35,669 --> 00:00:38,139 WHAT? THE REPORTERS ARE LEAVING? WELL, TELL THEM TO WAIT! 13 00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:40,508 YOU... I DON'T KNOW. THROW DONUTS AT THEM. 14 00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:42,410 NOT THE CRULLERS THOUGH! 15 00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:44,745 SURE, I DON'T MIND HOLDING. HERE, RYDER, YOU HOLD. 16 00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:47,448 - NO, I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. - MULTITASK! 17 00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:50,618 FINE. I CAN HOLD BOTH. 18 00:00:52,086 --> 00:00:54,388 WHERE WAS I? OH YES, ANNOYED WITH YOU. 19 00:00:54,422 --> 00:00:58,126 IT'S A RENOVATION. YOU KNOW THERE ARE ALWAYS MINOR INCONVENIENCES. 20 00:00:58,159 --> 00:01:00,494 YEAH, MINOR TO THE PERSON WHO'S NOT HERE ALL DAY LONG. 21 00:01:00,528 --> 00:01:03,697 NOT SO MINOR TO THE GUY WHO HAS TO UNPLUG THE COFFEEMAKER 22 00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:06,167 IN ORDER TO HOOK UP THE MICROWAVE. 23 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:09,337 NOT SO MINOR TO THE GUY WHO HAS TO BREATHE IN PAINT FUMES ALL DAY LONG, 24 00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:12,206 NOT TO MENTION WHATEVER'S COMING OUT OF THAT PORTA-POTTY IN THE BACKYARD. 25 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:15,776 BUT, YOU KNOW, WHAT DO YOU CARE? I MEAN YOU SPEND ALL DAY IN A NICE AIR-CONDITIONED OFFICE 26 00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:19,680 GIVING OUT KEYS TO THE CITY, YOU KNOW BANGING ON YOUR, UM... GAVEL. 27 00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:22,650 - YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I DO, DO YOU? - NO, NOT A CLUE. 28 00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:26,154 YEAH, JOE, YOU'RE FORGETTING WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT ABOUT ALL THIS: 29 00:01:26,187 --> 00:01:30,624 I AM FINALLY GETTING MY DREAM HOUSE... EXCEPT YOU'RE IN IT. 30 00:01:30,658 --> 00:01:33,461 - BESIDES, WE'RE OVER THE HUMP. - NO. 31 00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:35,663 NO, I THINK WE'RE ALL STILL GETTING HUMPED. 32 00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:38,098 YEAH, I WISH. 33 00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:43,704 ...THAT THERE WAS MORE CEREAL. 34 00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:47,841 OKAY, COME ON, AUNT MEL. IT WOULD BE NICE IF ONE DAY 35 00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:49,843 OUR KITCHEN WAS ACTUALLY IN THE KITCHEN. 36 00:01:49,877 --> 00:01:52,380 AND I WASN'T SHARING A ROOM WITH JOE. 37 00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:54,315 OH, YOU THINK I LIKE SHARING A ROOM WITH LENNOX? 38 00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:57,785 WELL, I DO! AND HERE'S THE PRETTY GIRL NOW. 39 00:01:57,818 --> 00:02:00,288 YOU STEPPED ON MY HEAD ON THE WAY TO THE BATHROOM AGAIN. 40 00:02:00,321 --> 00:02:02,190 SEE, TOE PRINTS? 41 00:02:02,223 --> 00:02:04,458 YOU GET TO GO TO THE BATHROOM? 42 00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:06,760 WOW, WHAT'S THAT LIKE? 43 00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:09,163 COME ON, EVERYBODY. LET'S JUST ROLL WITH THIS. 44 00:02:09,197 --> 00:02:12,466 JOE, I KNOW YOU HAVE ISSUES WITH LEO, BUT AS CONTRACTORS GO... 45 00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:14,735 - HE GOES SLOWLY. - DROP IT, JOE, ALL RIGHT? 46 00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:16,437 I'LL CHECK IN WITH YOU WHEN I HAVE A BREAK. 47 00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:20,574 UH, MEL, UH, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 48 00:02:20,608 --> 00:02:24,144 TO WORK, LEO, TO TALK TO REPORTERS ABOUT THE CITY'S NEW BIKE LANES 49 00:02:24,178 --> 00:02:26,480 AND BANG MY GAVEL. 50 00:02:26,514 --> 00:02:28,749 BUT YOU CAN'T GO. THE TRENCH GUY IS HERE. 51 00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:32,220 AND WHEN HE STARTS DIGGING, HE COULD HIT TREE ROOTS, A GAS LINE, 52 00:02:32,253 --> 00:02:34,688 MUMMIFIED HUMAN REMAINS. 53 00:02:34,722 --> 00:02:36,824 IT HAPPENS. THE POINT IS 54 00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:39,193 THE HOMEOWNER HAS TO SAY GO LEFT OR GO RIGHT. 55 00:02:39,227 --> 00:02:43,130 - CAN'T WE JUST RESCHEDULE? - OKAY, BUT THIS GUY ISN'T AVAILABLE FOR ANOTHER... 56 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:46,166 - THREE TO 12 WEEKS. - THREE TO 12? WHAT KIND OF WINDOW IS THAT? 57 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,736 AUNT MEL, SHE SAYS THE REPORTERS ARE LEAVING. 58 00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:50,571 WHAT?! NO NO NO NO NO, OKAY. 59 00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:53,541 SACRIFICE THE CRULLERS. ALL RIGHT, DON'T DO ANYTHING YET. 60 00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:55,709 I... ( growls ) DAMN, MY TWO WORLDS ARE COLLIDING. 61 00:02:55,743 --> 00:02:57,645 RIGHT NOW YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO PICK ONE. 62 00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,680 IT'S LIKE "SOPHIE'S CHOICE," 63 00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:01,815 IF SOPHIE WERE RENOVATING HER KITCHEN. 64 00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:03,817 COME HERE, BURKE. 65 00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:06,887 I'M GONNA SUGGEST SOMETHING TO YOU THAT I SHOULD HAVE SUGGESTED A LONG TIME AGO. 66 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,890 WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO DOWNTOWN AND LET ME MANAGE THIS CONSTRUCTION JOB? 67 00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:11,892 - NO. - WHY NOT? 68 00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:13,761 SIMPLE: I LIKE THINGS DONE MY WAY. 69 00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:15,696 I CAN DO YOUR WAY, ONLY BETTER. 70 00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:17,731 COME ON, I'M, LIKE, MADE FOR THIS JOB. 71 00:03:17,765 --> 00:03:19,767 I'M HERE ALL DAY LONG. I KNOW CONSTRUCTION. 72 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:23,871 I LIKE TELLING PEOPLE WHAT TO DO, YOU KNOW, ALMOST AS MUCH AS YOU DO. 73 00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:25,506 YEAH, BUT I NEED TO BE IN CHARGE. 74 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,808 I LIKE CONTROLLING THE THINGS THAT ARE MINE. 75 00:03:27,841 --> 00:03:30,944 MEL, I GOT FIVE GUYS OUT THERE WAITING. WHERE SHOULD WE DIG? 76 00:03:30,978 --> 00:03:33,514 SOPHIE, YOUR CHOICE. 77 00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:37,518 TALK TO... 78 00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:40,421 TALK TO JOE. 79 00:03:40,454 --> 00:03:41,855 SEE? NOW DID THAT HURT? 80 00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:44,425 ( sighs ) LIKE TWEEZING MY TOE HAIRS. 81 00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:47,194 ( theme music playing ) 82 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,830 ♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK ♪ 83 00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:52,433 ♪ WITH ME ♪ 84 00:03:58,506 --> 00:04:01,609 I AM A CITY COUNCIL GODDESS. 85 00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:04,845 SEVEN YAYS, NO NAYS. THERE WILL BE BIKE PATHS. 86 00:04:04,878 --> 00:04:06,947 AND CUTE GUYS IN BIKE SHORTS. 87 00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:08,982 CAN I GET A "NICE BUTT"? 88 00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:10,951 SPEAKING OF BUTTS, 89 00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:12,920 I'VE BEEN BUSTING MINE ALL DAY LONG. 90 00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:15,589 YOU KNOW THAT SILK GRANITE SINK THAT THEY SAID WE COULDN'T GET? 91 00:04:15,623 --> 00:04:17,725 WELL, GOT IT. I HAD LEO PULL IT OFF ANOTHER JOB. 92 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:20,661 WHOO HOO! I MEAN HOW TERRIBLE FOR THEM. 93 00:04:20,694 --> 00:04:24,031 - WOULD IT KILL YOU TO JUST SAY THANK YOU? - HMM, WE'LL NEVER KNOW. 94 00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:28,869 I AM AWESOME BEYOND HUMAN UNDERSTANDING. 95 00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:30,871 I KNEW YOU TWO WERE SHARING A ROOM, 96 00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:32,940 I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU TWO WERE SHARING AN EGO. 97 00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:37,911 YOU KNOW THAT PLAY I WROTE? THE DRAMA CLUB IS GOING TO PRODUCE IT. 98 00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:39,580 OH, THAT'S GREAT! WHICH PLAY? 99 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,982 THE ONE-ACT I GAVE YOU GUYS TO READ A WEEK AGO. 100 00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:44,785 - YEAH, WHAT'D YOU THINK OF IT? - OH, THAT ONE. 101 00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:47,921 IT'S SO GOOD. 102 00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:50,991 I MEAN IT'S, LIKE, AMAZING HOW YOU GOT ALL THAT PLAY 103 00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:53,761 INTO THAT ONE LITTLE ACT. RIGHT, JOE? 104 00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:55,929 OH YEAH. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, LENNOX, 105 00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:58,031 YOU REALLY, UM... 106 00:04:58,065 --> 00:05:00,701 YOU REALLY WROTE THAT THING. 107 00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:02,035 THANK YOU! 108 00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:04,738 WE'RE CASTING IT TOMORROW SO I HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO. 109 00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:09,543 - HEY, DID YOU READ YOUR SISTER'S PLAY? - OF COURSE. 110 00:05:09,577 --> 00:05:12,580 - I'M A GOOD PERSON. - WHAT? DON'T JUDGE ME. 111 00:05:12,613 --> 00:05:13,914 - SOME PEOPLE WORK. - I WORK. 112 00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:15,716 THIS SANDWICH DIDN'T MAKE ITSELF. 113 00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:17,385 YOU'RE RIGHT... I MADE IT. 114 00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:19,753 TELL YOU WHAT? HOW ABOUT I WRITE YOU GUYS A SUMMARY 115 00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:22,390 SO YOU CAN FAKE IT THROUGH YOUR NEXT CONVERSATION BETTER? 116 00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:24,725 YOU REALLY THINK I'VE SUNK THAT LOW? 117 00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:26,427 'CAUSE I HAVE. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 118 00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:29,997 HOW COME YOU CAN THANK HIM BUT YOU CAN'T THANK ME? 119 00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:31,432 HMM, FUNNY, ISN'T IT? 120 00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:33,967 SO HOW DID THE TRENCH DIGGING GO? 121 00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:36,504 WAIT WAIT, WAS IT BAD? DO I NEED A DRINK FIRST? 122 00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:39,106 - WOULDN'T YOU HAVE A DRINK ANYWAY? - YEAH, I WOULD. 123 00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:44,412 IT'S 6:00, WHAT ARE LEO'S GUYS STILL DOING HERE? 124 00:05:44,445 --> 00:05:46,046 BIBLE STUDY. WHAT DO YOU THINK? 125 00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:50,050 - THEY ALWAYS GO HOME AT 5:00. - NEW REGIME. 126 00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:53,086 EVERYBODY WORKS TILL IT GETS DARK. I HAVE TO GET THIS JOB BACK ON SCHEDULE. 127 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,755 THE INDULGING AND CODDLING STOPS NOW. 128 00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:57,525 HOW ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE UP TIME IF EVERYBODY'S BURNED OUT? 129 00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:59,827 I DON'T KNOW. THEY CAN SLEEP ON THE DRIVE HOME. 130 00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:03,096 YOU KNOW, I FIND THAT IF YOU TREAT PEOPLE BETTER, THEY WORK BETTER. 131 00:06:03,130 --> 00:06:05,065 IF YOU WANT THIS JOB DONE IN YOUR LIFETIME, 132 00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:08,001 LET YOUR CONTRACTION MANAGER DO HIS JOB. 133 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:11,405 "JOSEPH P. LONGO, CONSTRUCTION MANAGER"? 134 00:06:11,439 --> 00:06:13,641 YEAH... EMBOSSED. YOU SEE THAT? 135 00:06:13,674 --> 00:06:16,610 SO BLIND PEOPLE WILL KNOW YOU HAVE A FAKE JOB? 136 00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:18,612 MAKE ALL THE FUN YOU WANT. YOU'LL SEE HOW I TURN 137 00:06:18,646 --> 00:06:20,347 THIS JOB AROUND IN THE NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS. 138 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:23,817 ( sighs ) WHATEVER. I AM GOING UPSTAIRS TO READ IN THE TUB. 139 00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:25,686 - THERE'S NO WATER UP THERE, MEL. - YEAH? 140 00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,621 WELL, COLD PORCELAIN TURNS ME ON. 141 00:06:35,463 --> 00:06:37,665 - Leo: HEY, JOE, YOU GOT A MINUTE? - SURE. 142 00:06:37,698 --> 00:06:40,834 - WHAT'S UP, LEO? - YEAH, CAN YOU GIVE THESE TO MEL? 143 00:06:41,869 --> 00:06:43,437 COPPER PRICES ARE WAY UP, 144 00:06:43,471 --> 00:06:45,506 SO THE PLUMBING BID'S GOING TO BE 15% MORE, 145 00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:47,675 SHE JUST NEEDS TO INITIAL THE PRICE INCREASE. 146 00:06:47,708 --> 00:06:50,010 - I CAN DO THAT FOR YOU. - GREAT. 147 00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:53,013 THOSE INITIALS ARE GOING TO BE "N.O." 148 00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:56,684 YOU BID THE JOB AT ONE PRICE AND THAT'S THE PRICE WE'RE PAYING, BUDDY. 149 00:06:56,717 --> 00:07:00,020 - BUT THE PRICE WENT UP. - WHEN'D YOU PUT THE ORDER IN ON THE COPPER? 150 00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:01,989 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M CALLING MEL. 151 00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:05,092 I'M NOT PAYING FOR YOUR MISTAKES, PAL. 152 00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:09,563 - YEAH, MEL BURKE, PLEASE. - MEL BURKE, PLEASE. 153 00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:13,066 - IT'S LEO CALLING ABOUT THE KITCHEN. - IT'S JOE CALLING ABOUT LEO. 154 00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:16,537 YOU'RE GOING DOWN, BUDDY. 155 00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:18,972 OH HEY, MEL? 156 00:07:19,006 --> 00:07:22,476 YEAH LISTEN, A LITTLE PROBLEM. I JUST... 157 00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:25,012 THAT IS ALL HANDLED. THANK YOU, MEL. HAVE A GOOD DAY. 158 00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:28,115 THAT WON'T END WELL. 159 00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:31,151 WE'RE NOT PAYING A DIME MORE THAN THE ORIGINAL BID, ALL RIGHT? PERIOD. 160 00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:33,053 - JOE, YOU'RE CUTTING INTO MY PROFIT. - WELL, TOO BAD. 161 00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:35,489 IF YOU CAN'T DO IT, I'LL JUST FIND SOMEONE ELSE WHO CAN. 162 00:07:35,523 --> 00:07:37,090 BELIEVE ME, THAT'LL CUT INTO YOUR PROFIT. 163 00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:40,160 - I DON'T LIKE TO BE THREATENED. - I DON'T LIKE TO BE BLACKMAILED. 164 00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:42,095 - BLACKMAIL?! - I'M SORRY, MY APOLOGIES. 165 00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:44,464 WHAT YOU'RE ACTUALLY DOING HERE IS EXTORTION. 166 00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:47,768 YOU'RE NUTS! I DON'T NEED TO WORK FOR PEOPLE LIKE YOU. 167 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,437 JOSEPH P. LONGO, I QUIT. 168 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,606 OH HO HO HO! 169 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:54,875 OH, YOU DID NOT JUST DO THAT. 170 00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:58,145 OH! 171 00:07:58,178 --> 00:08:00,213 LOOK AT ALL THAT. PAPER IS EVERYWHERE. 172 00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:02,115 YOU THINK YOU'RE SO SMART, HUH? 173 00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:04,885 I GOT A WHOLE BOX OF THESE RIGHT HERE. 174 00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:13,661 HEY, GUYS, AUNTIE'S HOME. 175 00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:16,129 WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? I NEED TO VENT. 176 00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:19,800 YOU KNOW, I'VE ALREADY ENJOYED TODAY'S VENT, SO I'M GONNA HEAD UPSTAIRS. 177 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,468 UH NO, YOU'RE MY WITNESS. 178 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,704 YOU HAVE TO VALIDATE HOW TERRIBLY I'VE BEEN TREATED. 179 00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:26,039 OKAY, HIT ME WITH YOUR DRAMA STICK. 180 00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:29,843 I... SHE JUST... 181 00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:31,144 ( growls ) 182 00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:33,146 UH, YEAH, I'LL TRANSLATE. 183 00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:35,048 HER PLAY GOT CENSORED BY THE PRINCIPAL. 184 00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:37,050 OH, SO SHE CUT A FEW THINGS? 185 00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:41,021 - SHE CUT THE ENTIRE PLAY. - WOW, THAT'S A BIG CUT. 186 00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:44,892 YEAH, AND NOW WE CAN'T PERFORM IT... FOR TOTALLY ARBITRARY REASONS. 187 00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:48,862 BUT YOUR PLAY'S SO SWEET. ESPECIALLY THE PART WHERE... 188 00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:52,232 - WHERE... - THE POWER-MAD PRINCIPAL GETS TORN APART BY WOLVES? 189 00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:55,002 YES! WHAT?! YOU WROTE THAT? 190 00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:58,171 DAMN STRAIGHT! THANKS FOR READING IT. 191 00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:00,874 OKAY, TELL ME WHAT ELSE IS IN THERE. GIVE ME THE BULLET POINTS. 192 00:09:00,908 --> 00:09:02,743 SO AN EVIL HIGH SCHOOL PRINCIPAL 193 00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:04,978 IMPRISONS HER STUDENTS AND CUTS OUT THEIR TONGUES. 194 00:09:05,012 --> 00:09:09,617 AND THEN ONE DAY SHE SUDDENLY REALIZES HER ENTIRE CAREER HAS BEEN SPENT 195 00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:11,819 SILENCING THE VOICES OF THE INNOCENTS. 196 00:09:11,852 --> 00:09:14,988 IN REVULSION OF WHAT SHE'S DONE, SHE WANDERS OFF INTO THE WOODS 197 00:09:15,022 --> 00:09:17,057 - AND... - THE WOLVES RIP HER LIMB FROM LIMB 198 00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:19,760 AND SHE BLEEDS LIKE A FIRE HYDRANT. 199 00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:21,662 THAT'S MY FAVORITE PART. 200 00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:24,832 SO YOU FED YOUR PRINCIPAL TO THE WILD ANIMALS. 201 00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:26,967 ALLEGORICALLY. 202 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,969 SWEETIE, YOU CAN'T WRITE STUFF LIKE THAT. 203 00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:31,905 I HAVE TO! I CAN'T JUST WATCH WHILE PRINCIPAL LUNDT 204 00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:33,774 TURNS THE SCHOOL INTO A POLICE STATE. 205 00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:35,843 SHE INSTITUTED RANDOM LOCKER SEARCHES. 206 00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:38,178 AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ABOUT THE OPEN-TOE SHOE BAN. 207 00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:41,581 LENNOX, AS MUCH AS I SUPPORT THE RIGHT TO BARE TOES, 208 00:09:41,615 --> 00:09:43,283 I CAN'T SUPPORT YOU ON THIS ONE. 209 00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:46,119 - WHAT HAPPENED TO MY COOL AUNT MEL? - COOL AUNT MEL 210 00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:48,088 DOESN'T WANT TO SEE YOU GET EXPELLED. 211 00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:51,792 LUNDT CAN'T LET YOU PERFORM SOMETHING LIKE THAT AT SCHOOL. IT'S DISRESPECTFUL. 212 00:09:51,825 --> 00:09:53,093 WELL YEAH. 213 00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:55,796 LOOK, I WANT YOU TO GO TO COLLEGE, 214 00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:59,132 YOU KNOW? SO YOU'RE NOT LIVING HERE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, AS DELIGHTFUL AS YOU ARE. 215 00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:01,802 - ( drill whirring ) - WOW, JOE'S REALLY CRACKING THE WHIP. 216 00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:04,271 - THOSE GUYS ARE HERE LATE. - OH NO, THERE'S NO GUYS. 217 00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:06,306 - THAT'S JUST JOE. - JUST JOE?! 218 00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:08,942 DON'T WORRY, AUNT MEL. JOE SAID IT WAS ALL GOOD. 219 00:10:08,976 --> 00:10:10,744 - WHAT? - NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. 220 00:10:10,778 --> 00:10:13,113 OH MY GOD! JOE? 221 00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:15,949 OH, HEY, MEL, DOES THIS CABINET LOOK LEVEL TO YOU? 222 00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:19,119 JOE, ISN'T THAT SOMETHING LEO THE CONTRACTOR SHOULD BE DOING? 223 00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:20,854 YEAH, BUT HE GOT CALLED AWAY 224 00:10:20,888 --> 00:10:22,823 ON PERSONAL BUSINESS. 225 00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:25,292 AND HE TOOK HIS TOOLS AND HIS SAWHORSES AND HIS GUYS? 226 00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:27,160 I GUESS, YEAH. 227 00:10:27,194 --> 00:10:30,998 SO WHAT IS THIS PERSONAL BUSINESS THAT LEO GOT CALLED AWAY TO DO? 228 00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:33,200 I WOULD CATEGORIZE IT AS A... 229 00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:34,968 HISSY FIT. 230 00:10:35,002 --> 00:10:36,904 WELL, WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM? 231 00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:38,972 WHAT DID I DO TO HIM? WHY DO YOU ASSUME I DID SOMETHING TO HIM? 232 00:10:39,006 --> 00:10:41,809 WHY DON'T YOU ASSUME THAT LEO DID SOMETHING TO ME... WHICH, BY THE WAY, HE DID. 233 00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:44,144 ALL RIGHT, I'M ALONG FOR THE RIDE. WHAT DID LEO DO? 234 00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:46,980 HE TRIED TO CHARGE US 15% MORE FOR THE COPPER, THAT'S WHAT HE TRIED TO DO. 235 00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:49,850 AND I SAID "NO WAY" AND, YOU KNOW, AND SOME... 236 00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:53,220 WORDS WERE EXCHANGED AND HE TOOK HIS STUFF AND HE LEFT. 237 00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:55,856 BBBB... GO BACK TO THE "WORDS WERE EXCHANGED" PART 238 00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:58,058 AND BREAK THAT DOWN A LITTLE BETTER FOR ME. 239 00:10:58,091 --> 00:11:00,260 - HE'S GONNA CLAIM THAT HE QUIT. - HE QUIT?! 240 00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:01,962 NO! IT'S JUST POSTURING. 241 00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,964 YOU DON'T HAVE A LOT OF EXPERIENCE 242 00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:06,934 - WITH THESE HIGH-LEVEL NEGOTIATIONS, DO YOU? - UH, ONLY EVERY DAY. 243 00:11:06,967 --> 00:11:09,803 OH YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. THE GAVEL STUFF, RIGHT YEAH. 244 00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:11,839 DON'T WORRY, HE'S COMING BACK, OKAY? 245 00:11:11,872 --> 00:11:13,974 HOW DO YOU KNOW? WHAT IF HE NEVER COMES BACK? 246 00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,976 I'M GOING TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE 247 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,045 BATHING IN DRY TUBS SURROUNDED BY CATS. 248 00:11:19,046 --> 00:11:20,881 WE DON'T HAVE ANY CATS. 249 00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:24,017 ONCE THEY FIND OUT WE DON'T HAVE ANY WALLS, THEY'LL BE HERE! 250 00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:25,986 ( chuckles ) WILL YOU RELAX? 251 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,121 WHAT THESE GUYS DO IS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE, OKAY? 252 00:11:28,155 --> 00:11:30,223 YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE DONE TODAY ALL BY MYSELF? HUNG UP THREE CABINETS, 253 00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:32,960 TILED THE SHOWER UPSTAIRS AND I STAINED ALL THE FLOORS UP THERE TOO. 254 00:11:32,993 --> 00:11:35,328 REALLY? YOU? 255 00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:37,865 YEAH. STOP GUSHING. YOU'RE WELCOME. 256 00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:39,733 BY THE WAY, THE FLOORS UP THERE? 257 00:11:39,767 --> 00:11:42,002 THEY LOOK BEAUTIFUL. YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT. 258 00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:45,005 DON'T ANYONE GO UPSTAIRS. THERE'S LIKE THIS GLUE ALL OVER THE FLOOR 259 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,340 AND IT WON'T LET GO OF YOUR SHOES. 260 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,943 THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN. IT'S WOOD STAIN, DUDE. 261 00:11:49,977 --> 00:11:52,412 IT DRIES IN JUST... 262 00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:56,183 72 HOURS. 263 00:11:57,417 --> 00:11:59,219 SO WE CAN'T GO UPSTAIRS THE REST OF THE WEEK? 264 00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:02,055 THAT'S GREAT, JOE, BECAUSE I CAN WEAR THIS SKIRT FOR THREE DAYS. 265 00:12:02,089 --> 00:12:06,093 IT'S DESIGNED TO GO FROM WORK TO SLEEP TO SLEEP TO WORK TO WORK TO SLEEP, SLEEP TO WORK. 266 00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:08,962 UH, THE FLOORS UPSTAIRS ARE ALL STICKY. 267 00:12:08,996 --> 00:12:12,933 YEAH, ISN'T IT AMAZING WHAT JOE'S BEEN ABLE TO ACCOMPLISH IN JUST ONE DAY? 268 00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:31,218 ( door opens ) 269 00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:35,422 IT'S ALL YOURS. PEE QUIETLY, I'M TRYING NOT TO WAKE UP. 270 00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:37,524 YOU'VE GOT IT. 271 00:12:42,029 --> 00:12:45,032 JEEZ, LENNOX, GIMME SOME OF THE BLANKET. 272 00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,069 ( shrieks ) 273 00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:54,041 - WHAT THE HELL? - I TOUCHED PEC. 274 00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:57,010 WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED, BURKE, BESIDES FEELING ME UP? 275 00:12:57,044 --> 00:12:59,312 CRINGING. CAN SOMEONE TURN ON A LIGHT? 276 00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:03,016 BURKE, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN IN THIS BED WITH ME? I NEED TO KNOW. 277 00:13:03,050 --> 00:13:05,252 LONG ENOUGH TO BE TRAUMATIZED... ABOUT TWO SECONDS. 278 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:07,387 YAY, EVERYBODY'S AWAKE. 279 00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:09,389 YEAH, HOW COULD ANYONE SLEEP? 280 00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:13,060 I WAS SLEEPING JUST FINE UNTIL THE NIGHT GROPER CAME IN HERE. 281 00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:15,062 I MIGHT ACTUALLY NEED A SUPPORT GROUP NOW. 282 00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:17,797 IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA GO SLEEP IN A PARK 283 00:13:17,831 --> 00:13:20,233 - WHERE IT'S SAFER. - OH, WILL YOU CALM DOWN? 284 00:13:20,267 --> 00:13:21,768 - PLEASE? - I AM CALM. 285 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:24,371 I AM VERY CALM FOR SOMEONE WHOSE BEAUTIFUL 286 00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:26,539 HOME RENOVATION WAS WRECKED IN ONE DAY BY 287 00:13:26,573 --> 00:13:31,244 "JOSEPH P. LONGO, CONSTRUCTION M..." THESE THINGS ARE ALL OVER THE PLACE! 288 00:13:31,278 --> 00:13:34,547 - CAN'T WE JUST GET LEO BACK? - YEAH, JUST APOLOGIZE. 289 00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:36,783 YOU KNOW? TELL HIM WE MADE A MISTAKE. 290 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:39,419 - I'M GONNA CALL HIM IN THE MORNING. - NO, YOU CANNOT DO THAT. 291 00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:41,254 WE'LL LOSE EVERY ADVANTAGE THAT WE HAVE. 292 00:13:41,288 --> 00:13:45,092 WHAT THE HELL KIND OF ADVANTAGE DO WE HAVE? 293 00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:48,929 YEAH, WE'RE SLEEPING ON OLD AIR MATTRESSES FROM THE GARAGE THAT SMELL LIKE SKUNK PEE. 294 00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:51,831 - OH, THAT'S WHAT THAT IS? - OKAY, LOOK, YOU KNOW WHAT? 295 00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:55,835 EVERYBODY JUST RELAX HERE. LOOK, WE ARE AT A VERY CRITICAL POINT IN THE NEGOTIATIONS. 296 00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:59,106 WE HAVE TO STAY UNIFIED. REMEMBER, WE ALL HAVE A COMMON ENEMY. 297 00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:03,110 NOT ME... LEO! 298 00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:12,485 - JOE, ARE YOU SURE LEO'S GONNA SHOW UP? - YES. 299 00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:14,121 JUST KEEP A LOOKOUT, ALL RIGHT? 300 00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:16,189 YOU KNOW WHAT, BURKE? I HAVE TO TELL YOU... 301 00:14:16,223 --> 00:14:19,226 - AFTER A LOUSY NIGHT'S SLEEP, YOU DON'T LOOK HALF BAD. - WHY, THANK YOU, JOE. 302 00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:23,030 YOU KNOW THE WHOLE SAVING GRACE TO THIS THING IS THAT I ACTUALLY GET TO USE 303 00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:26,433 MY EMERGENCY PANTIES I ALWAYS CARRY AROUND IN MY PURSE. 304 00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:28,568 IT'S A GOOD THING THAT THEY'RE BRIGHT ORANGE. 305 00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:30,971 THIS WAY RESCUE HELICOPTERS CAN FIND YOU. 306 00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:35,242 LENNOX, YOU LOOK LIKE CRAP. 307 00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:37,577 WOW, THANK YOU, AUNT MEL, BUT I'M IN CHARACTER. 308 00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:39,612 FOR THE PLAY? I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T DOING IT. 309 00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:41,448 OH NO, NOT ONLY ARE WE STILL DOING IT, 310 00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:44,484 BUT I'M PLAYING THE LEAD. AND THANKS TO A BAD NIGHT'S SLEEP, 311 00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:46,319 AND TOTAL LACK OF HAIR PRODUCTS, 312 00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:49,189 I'LL LOOK AS GROSS AS THAT TYRANT PRINCIPAL LUNDT. 313 00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:52,259 - BUT SHE BANNED THE PLAY. - ON SCHOOL GROUNDS. 314 00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:55,963 BUT COMMISSAR LUNDT DOES NOT CONTROL THE PARK ACROSS THE STREET. 315 00:14:55,996 --> 00:14:58,165 WOW, I'M TORN! 316 00:14:58,198 --> 00:15:00,968 ON THE ONE HAND, I'M PROUD OF YOU FOR FIGURING OUT THE WORK AROUND. 317 00:15:01,001 --> 00:15:03,503 AND ON THE OTHER HAND, CAN'T YOU HAVE A LITTLE LESS INTEGRITY LIKE THE REST OF US? 318 00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:05,973 MM, AS APPEALING AS THAT IS, 319 00:15:06,006 --> 00:15:09,642 NO. IF I BACK DOWN NOW, I'LL BE BACKING DOWN THE REST OF MY LIFE. 320 00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:12,179 - HEY, I THINK I SEE LEO'S TRUCK. - WHAT DID I TELL YOU GUYS? 321 00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:14,081 HUH? I TOLD YOU HE'D COME CRAWLING BACK. 322 00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:16,216 AND LIKE CLOCKWORK... 323 00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:18,351 ( truck passing ) 324 00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:20,520 THERE IS SOMEBODY ELSE'S TRUCK. 325 00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:24,591 DON'T WORRY. YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M SURE THE VERY NEXT TRUCK 326 00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:27,094 WILL ALSO NOT BE HIS. 327 00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:29,229 THERE'S PLENTY OF CHESS MOVES LEFT IN THIS GAME, OKAY? 328 00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:31,965 IN THE MEANTIME, I'M GONNA GET SOME MORE WORK DONE 329 00:15:31,999 --> 00:15:34,901 AND WHEN LEO AND HIS GUYS GET BACK HERE, THEY'LL JUST HAVE MORE CATCH UP, THAT'S ALL. 330 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,703 ( saw whirrs ) 331 00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:41,274 - All: NO! - WHAT? I BLEW A FUSE. 332 00:15:41,308 --> 00:15:43,243 YEAH, ME TOO! A LONG TIME AGO. 333 00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:46,113 IT'LL BE BACK ON IN 10 SECONDS. 334 00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:49,416 YOU'VE GOT TO FIX THIS, ALL RIGHT? 335 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,918 I CANNOT SPEND ANOTHER NIGHT IN A ROOM WITH THAT GUY. 336 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,387 DOESN'T ANYONE ELSE HEAR HIM TALKING IN HIS SLEEP? 337 00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:57,024 "LADIES. LADIES, PLEASE. 338 00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:59,292 THERE'S ENOUGH JOE TO GO AROUND." 339 00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:02,229 YEAH, YOU HAVE GOT TO DO SOMETHING! 340 00:16:02,262 --> 00:16:04,164 OKAY, THE FRIGHT LOOK IS GOOD FOR TODAY, 341 00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:07,067 BUT TOMORROW I NEED TO GO BACK TO NATURAL, EFFORTLESS BEAUTY. 342 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,601 AND THAT TAKES PRODUCT. 343 00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:11,304 GUYS, I CAN GET THIS BACK ON TRACK. 344 00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:13,506 OKAY, I KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH BULLHEADED MEN. 345 00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:17,277 YOU JUST STAND UP TO THEM, YOU LOOK THEM RIGHT IN THE EYES AND YOU SAY... 346 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,479 WHO LIKES BANANA BREAD? 347 00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:23,350 DOES LEO? COME ON, I BAKED IT JUST FOR YOU. 348 00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:24,717 OKAY, I BOUGHT IT JUST FOR YOU! 349 00:16:24,751 --> 00:16:27,587 COME ON, PLEASE, COME BACK TO THE JOB, LEO. 350 00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:30,023 PLEASE! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE 351 00:16:30,057 --> 00:16:32,192 - PLEASE PLEASE! - OH, MEL, 352 00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:34,394 I LIKE YOU A LOT, BUT BUSINESS IS BUSINESS. 353 00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:38,631 - AND COSTS ARE COSTS. - WELL, LOOK WHAT IS UNDERNEATH THE BREAD. 354 00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:42,435 A CHECK... A CHECK WITH SOME BANANA GREASE ON IT, 355 00:16:42,469 --> 00:16:45,572 BUT YOU KNOW HOW YOU GET THAT OUT? BY CASHING IT. 356 00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:48,408 AND NOBODY HAS TO KNOW ABOUT THIS EXCEPT YOU AND ME. 357 00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:52,712 UH, BUT NEXT TIME ORDER THE COPPER BEFORE YOU START THE JOB. 358 00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:55,748 OKAY, BUT I STILL GOTTA WORK WITH JOE, RIGHT? 359 00:16:55,782 --> 00:16:59,352 - NO, THERE IS NO JOE. FORGET JOE. - HE'S LEAVING? 360 00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:02,655 NO, HE'S... HE'S INCREDIBLY VALUABLE WITH THE KIDS 361 00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:06,393 AND OTHER AREAS OF MY LIFE AND I WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING TO UNDERMINE HIS AUTHORITY, 362 00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:08,428 BUT... 363 00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:11,098 BUT JUST NOD AT WHATEVER THE HELL HE SAYS AND THEN CALL ME. 364 00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:14,033 HOW IS THAT NOT UNDERMINING HIS AUTHORITY? 365 00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:16,436 IT IS NOT UNDERMINING. IT IS JUST CREATING 366 00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:20,207 A SEPARATE SECRET LINE OF AUTHORITY THAT LEADS FROM YOU TO ME. 367 00:17:22,409 --> 00:17:24,377 YOU GREW UP IN POLITICS. 368 00:17:24,411 --> 00:17:26,279 I DID. 369 00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:32,752 - HEY! - HEY, CAN WE GO OUT TO DINNER TONIGHT? 370 00:17:32,785 --> 00:17:35,188 SURE. WAIT, ARE WE CELEBRATING? 371 00:17:35,222 --> 00:17:38,358 - DID THE PLAY GO WELL? - NO, PRINCIPAL LUNDT GOT WORD ABOUT WHAT WE WERE DOING 372 00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:41,328 AND SHOWED UP. YEAH, SHE SAT RIGHT IN FRONT FOR THE WHOLE PERFORMANCE. 373 00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:44,231 - SO YOU'RE IN TROUBLE. - IF ONLY. 374 00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:48,335 SHE LOVED IT! SHE SAID IT HAD THE PATHOS AND SCOPE OF A GREEK TRAGEDY. 375 00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:50,470 SHE WANTS ME TO ENTER IT IN THE STATE DRAMA COMPETITION. 376 00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:52,472 I MADE HER PROUD TO BE AN EDUCATOR. 377 00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:56,075 - UGHH!! - HEY, WHOA, ISN'T IT GOOD THAT PEOPLE LIKED IT? 378 00:17:56,109 --> 00:17:59,212 ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS MAKE A STATEMENT ABOUT CENSORSHIP, 379 00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:02,382 ARTISTIC EXPRESSION AND PISS THAT WOMAN OFF. 380 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:04,284 OH, HONEY, 381 00:18:04,317 --> 00:18:06,586 SOMETIMES NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY, 382 00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:09,256 YOU CAN'T PISS EVERYBODY OFF. 383 00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:11,658 I TAKE THAT AS A CHALLENGE. 384 00:18:12,825 --> 00:18:14,261 NO... NO. 385 00:18:16,463 --> 00:18:19,466 ( gasps ) LEO'S BACK! JOE, LOOK. 386 00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:22,502 - LEO'S BACK. - YEAH, I KNOW, HE SHOWED UP A COUPLE HOURS AGO. 387 00:18:22,535 --> 00:18:24,337 WHO WOULD HAVE EVER PREDICTED THAT? 388 00:18:24,371 --> 00:18:28,608 HEY, MEL, I GOT THE NEW FAUCETS OUT IN MY TRUCK. I'LL SHOW THEM TO YOU. 389 00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:31,511 - OH, GREAT. - THANK YOU, LEO. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 390 00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:35,582 YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS AMAZING? THAT 15% ON THE COPPER BID? 391 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,517 YEAH, MAGICALLY GONE. POOF! 392 00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:40,487 WOW, THAT IS GREAT NEWS AND TOTALLY UNEXPECTED. 393 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:43,456 OH, IT WAS EXPECTED. MAYBE NOT BY YOU, BUT I SURE SAW IT COMING. 394 00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:46,092 SEE, MEL, THIS IS HOW NEGOTIATIONS WORK. 395 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:49,128 GUYS LIKE THIS WORK YOU AND WORK YOU AND WORK YOU. 396 00:18:49,162 --> 00:18:52,599 UNTIL YOU FINALLY PUSH BACK AND YOU SAY, "THAT'S IT. THAT'S ENOUGH, STOP." 397 00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:54,534 YEAH, THEY WORK YOU, HUH? 398 00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:57,270 YEAH, SEE, YOU BELIEVE THAT IF YOU CODDLE SOMEBODY LIKE THAT, 399 00:18:57,304 --> 00:19:00,407 HE'S GONNA JUMP THROUGH HOOPS FOR YOU. THE WORLD DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY, ALL RIGHT? 400 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:03,810 SO IN THE FUTURE WHEN I SUGGEST SOMETHING THAT YOU MIGHT NOT AT FIRST AGREE WITH, 401 00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:06,846 MAYBE, YOU KNOW, JUST MAYBE YOU WANT TO THINK ABOUT... 402 00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:08,815 ALL RIGHT, JUST SHUT IT. SHUT IT! 403 00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:12,252 THE ONLY REASON HE'S BACK IS BECAUSE OF THE EXTRA MONEY. 404 00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:16,489 HE TOLD YOU THAT I PAID HIM. 405 00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:21,394 I CANNOT BELIEVE HE WOULD DO THAT. 406 00:19:21,428 --> 00:19:24,397 - YOU PAID HIM? - OF COURSE I DID, YEAH. 407 00:19:24,431 --> 00:19:26,366 WAIT A MINUTE. YOU... 408 00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:28,568 YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT YOU. YOU PAID HIM TOO? 409 00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:31,204 - WHY DO YOU THINK HE SHOWED UP? - BECAUSE OF THE 500 BUCKS I GAVE HIM. 410 00:19:31,238 --> 00:19:33,540 500? I GAVE HIM A CHECK FOR $5,000. 411 00:19:33,573 --> 00:19:35,342 5,000... 412 00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:37,610 NO WONDER WHY HE'S BEEN SMILING ALL AFTERNOON. 413 00:19:37,644 --> 00:19:40,547 WAIT, OKAY, WHAT TIME WERE YOU AT HIS OFFICE? 414 00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:42,249 - LIKE 2:30. - I WAS THERE AT LIKE 2:00. 415 00:19:42,282 --> 00:19:43,816 - OH, I JUST MISSED YOU. - OH HEY. 416 00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,453 LOOK AT THAT. NEXT TIME WE SNEAK AROUND BEHIND EACH OTHER'S BACKS 417 00:19:46,486 --> 00:19:48,621 - WE SHOULD CARPOOL. - NEXT TIME WE SNEAK AROUND 418 00:19:48,655 --> 00:19:50,257 YOU SHOULD LEAVE IT TO ME AND I'LL SAVE YOU MONEY. 419 00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:52,225 THE ONLY REASON HE LIKED YOUR 500 BUCKS 420 00:19:52,259 --> 00:19:54,327 WAS BECAUSE HE ALREADY HAD MY 5,000 IN HIS POCKET. 421 00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:57,497 I SERIOUSLY DOUBT THAT... YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. THAT'S PROBABLY TRUE. 422 00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:02,469 OH, BY THE WAY, UM, YOU KNOW HOW IT WAS GONNA TAKE LIKE MONTHS AND MONTHS 423 00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:04,371 TO GET THAT SIX-BURNER STOVE? 424 00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:07,574 THE APPLIANCE GUY CALLED TODAY AND SAID THEY HAD A FOUR-BURNER WITH A GRIDDLE IN STOCK, 425 00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:09,609 - SO I ORDERED IT. - JOE, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE... 426 00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:12,279 - PANCAKES. - OH, GOOD CALL. 427 00:20:12,312 --> 00:20:13,780 YEAH, I KNOW, IT WAS. 428 00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:15,848 YEAH, THANK YOU, JOE. THAT'S SMART. 429 00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:18,618 I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU DOING THAT. 430 00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:20,720 ALL RIGHT. YOU'RE WELCOME. 431 00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:23,222 AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I APPRECIATE YOU 432 00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:25,792 GOING OVER THERE AND STRAIGHTENING EVERYTHING OUT WITH LEO. 433 00:20:25,825 --> 00:20:28,194 YOU KNOW, WELL, WITH US. WITH EVERYTHING REALLY. 434 00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:30,763 IT'S THE LEAST I COULD DO AFTER PUTTING EVERYONE THROUGH THIS RENOVATION. 435 00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:32,699 - MOSTLY YOU. - YEAH. 436 00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:40,607 - THIS FEELS REALLY WEIRD. - YEAH, I FEEL IT TOO. 437 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,909 - WHAT IS IT? - I DON'T KNOW, 438 00:20:42,942 --> 00:20:46,546 I THINK IT'S SOME STRANGE MUTUAL APPRECIATION THING. 439 00:20:48,014 --> 00:20:50,550 YEAH, I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT. 440 00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:55,522 I DON'T LIKE IT. I'M GONNA GET SOME AIR. 441 00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:07,467 ( groans ) 442 00:21:08,901 --> 00:21:12,305 "FIRST PLACE, OHIO REGIONAL DRAMA COMPETITION LENNOX SCANLON." 443 00:21:12,339 --> 00:21:15,475 THE PRINCIPAL MADE AN ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT IT TODAY AT THE ASSEMBLY. 444 00:21:15,508 --> 00:21:17,944 SHE CALLED LENNOX UP AND... 445 00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:20,580 HUGGED HER IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY. 446 00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,482 POOR GIRL. ALL SHE WANTED TO DO 447 00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:24,917 WAS TORMENT HER PRINCIPAL AND CREATE TROUBLE. 448 00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:26,619 I LOVE HER FOR JUST TRYING.