1 00:00:06,074 --> 00:00:09,377 "MELISSA & JOEY" IS RECORDED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE. 2 00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:15,216 I'M LEAVING, IF ANYONE NEEDS ME. 3 00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:17,485 - HEY, AUNT MEL. - OH, JEEZ. 4 00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:21,155 - CAN I TALK TO YOU? - YEAH, SURE, MY DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN. 5 00:00:21,189 --> 00:00:23,324 EXCEPT RIGHT NOW. I'M SLAMMING IT SHUT BEHIND ME. BYE. 6 00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:26,560 WAIT. WHAT? NO, BUT THIS IS AN EMERGENCY. 7 00:00:26,594 --> 00:00:29,230 MY FRIEND SCARLETT GOT... 8 00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:30,598 A BOYFRIEND. 9 00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:33,534 OH, MY GOD. I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA SAY IMPLANTS. 10 00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:35,569 BECAUSE YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY YOU ARE, 11 00:00:35,603 --> 00:00:38,139 AND THOSE THINGS ARE EXPENSIVE. 12 00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:39,540 NO, LOOK, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. 13 00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:43,477 HER BOYFRIEND IS ALWAYS WITH HER AND HE ACTS SO STRANGE AROUND ME. 14 00:00:43,511 --> 00:00:47,115 OKAY, WELL, INVITE THEM BOTH OVER AND MAKE NICE WITH THE GUY. 15 00:00:47,148 --> 00:00:49,517 'CAUSE BOYFRIENDS COME AND GO, BUT FRIENDSHIPS LAST FOR MONTHS. 16 00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:51,152 SEE YA. 17 00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:54,155 AUNT MEL, I NEED YOU. 18 00:00:54,188 --> 00:00:56,524 HOLLY'S BIRTHDAY IS IN THREE DAYS AND I HAVEN'T GOTTEN HER A PRESENT YET. 19 00:00:56,557 --> 00:01:00,228 GET HER ONE OF THOSE EDIBLE BOUQUETS WITH THE CHOCOLATE COVERED FRUIT. 20 00:01:00,261 --> 00:01:01,629 YEAH, SHE'LL LOVE IT. AND IF SHE DOESN'T, I'LL EAT IT, 21 00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:03,864 'CAUSE THOSE THINGS ARE GREAT. 22 00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:07,201 - I NEED A REAL IDEA. - OKAY, COME BACK WHEN YOU HAVE A REAL PROBLEM. 23 00:01:07,235 --> 00:01:10,638 SHE'S HELPING ME RIGHT NOW. OKAY, SO WHAT DO I WHEN THEY COME OVER? 24 00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:13,607 YOU KNOW WHAT? THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS THAT YOU GO AWAY... 25 00:01:13,641 --> 00:01:16,577 I MEAN, GO UPSTAIRS AND CALL SCARLETT QUICK QUICK QUICK. 26 00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:17,445 YEAH. 27 00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:19,380 OKAY. BACK TO ME. WHAT DO I GET HOLLY? 28 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:22,216 YOU KNOW, THAT IS A VERY IMPORTANT THING I NEED TO THINK ABOUT 29 00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:24,285 BECAUSE IT'S A CRITICAL DECISION. 30 00:01:24,318 --> 00:01:25,519 IT'S GONNA TAKE A LOT OF THOUGHT. 31 00:01:25,553 --> 00:01:27,288 BURKE, I DON'T ASK FOR MUCH. 32 00:01:27,321 --> 00:01:28,656 IT'D JUST BE SO NICE, AFTER I WORK OUT, 33 00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:31,659 IF I COULD MAYBE GET ONE, TWO GALLONS OF HOT WATER. 34 00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:35,129 SOMEBODY NEEDS ATTENTION. 35 00:01:35,163 --> 00:01:37,665 SOMEBODY NEEDS SOME HOT WATER. 36 00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:40,401 I BET THIS HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THAT CALL FROM THE GAS COMPANY. 37 00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:41,635 WHAT CALL FROM THE GAS COMPANY? 38 00:01:41,669 --> 00:01:43,304 THE REALLY ANGRY-SOUNDING ONE. 39 00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:45,439 I WROTE IT DOWN ON A PIECE OF PAPER AND EVERYTHING. 40 00:01:45,473 --> 00:01:47,675 BURKE, I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU FORGOT TO PAY THE GAS BILL. 41 00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:50,444 I DIDN'T FORGET. I PAY THEM WHEN I SEE THEM. 42 00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:52,146 THE BILLS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE RIGHT HERE. 43 00:01:52,180 --> 00:01:55,416 BUT EVER SINCE THE RENOVATION, THINGS ARE ALL OVER THE PLACE. 44 00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:58,652 PEOPLE KEEP MOVING STUFF. PEOPLE. 45 00:01:58,686 --> 00:01:59,920 THERE'S A BUNCH OF MAIL IN HERE. 46 00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:02,656 AND OH, LOOK... A NOTE THAT SAYS, "GAS CO. CALLED, URGE." 47 00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:04,325 SEE? I TOLD YOU I WROTE IT DOWN. 48 00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:06,694 YOU GUYS CANNOT PIN ANY OF THIS ON ME. 49 00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:08,696 OH, MY GOD, THERE'S A TON OF THESE OVERDUE NOTICES IN HERE. 50 00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:09,897 THAT'S IT, FROM NOW ON, 51 00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:12,466 I AM TAKING OVER ALL THE BILL-PAYING RESPONSIBILITIES. 52 00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:14,435 FINE, JOE, YOU CAN HANDLE MY MONEY. 53 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,337 JUST DON'T GET SWINDLED OUT OF BILLIONS OF DOLLARS 54 00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:18,172 AND LEAD US INTO FINANCIAL RUIN. 55 00:02:18,206 --> 00:02:20,174 OH, THAT'S SO FUNNY 56 00:02:20,208 --> 00:02:22,476 'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED TO ME. 57 00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:26,347 AND IF YOU GO TO THE STORE, CAN YOU GET SOME MUCH BIGGER TOWELS? MUCH. 58 00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:28,682 YOU DO KNOW THAT'S NOT AN INSULT, RIGHT? 59 00:02:28,716 --> 00:02:31,685 ( theme music playing ) 60 00:02:31,719 --> 00:02:33,721 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD - ♪ All good 61 00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:35,589 - ♪ IT'S OKAY - ♪ Okay 62 00:02:35,623 --> 00:02:37,258 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT - ♪ All right 63 00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:39,193 ♪ AS FAR AS I CAN SEE 64 00:02:39,227 --> 00:02:40,628 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD - ♪ All good 65 00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,663 - ♪ IT'S OKAY - ♪ Okay 66 00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:44,365 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT - ♪ All right 67 00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:47,235 ♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK ♪ 68 00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:50,271 ♪ WITH ME ♪ 69 00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:54,742 ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY, BEFORE WE DECIDE OUR POSITION ON THE FOOD TRUCK BAN, 70 00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:57,711 WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO DO A LITTLE MORE RESEARCH. THANK YOU. 71 00:02:57,745 --> 00:03:01,282 STEWART, WAIT, I HAVE ONE MORE LEGAL ISSUE TO DISCUSS WITH YOU PRIVATELY. 72 00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:03,984 I LOOK FORWARD TO THAT, COUNCILWOMAN. 73 00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,986 DO YOU KNOW WHAT FOOD TRUCKS ARE OUT THERE TODAY? 74 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:08,956 PLEASE TELL ME IT'S THE BACON-WRAPPED TACO TRUCK. I'M STARVING. 75 00:03:08,989 --> 00:03:10,391 I DON'T KNOW. I MEAN, CAN WE REALLY EAT 76 00:03:10,424 --> 00:03:14,228 AT THE BACON-WRAPPED TACO TRUCK AND REMAIN IMPARTIAL ON THIS ISSUE? 77 00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:16,697 I DON'T CARE IF IT'S WRONG. IF IT'S WRAPPED IN BACON, IT'S RIGHT. 78 00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:20,468 VERY CONVINCING ARGUMENT. LET'S EAT. 79 00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:23,237 BURKE, HEY, LOOK, DO ME A FAVOR. 80 00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:25,005 TALK TO MY FRIEND STEVE HERE IN INDIA. 81 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,708 LET HIM KNOW I'M AUTHORIZED TO TALK ABOUT YOUR CREDIT CARD ACCOUNT, PLEASE. 82 00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:29,577 WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST TELL HIM YOU'RE MEL BURKE? 83 00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:33,247 BECAUSE I'M AN HONEST PERSON. AND I ALREADY TRIED THAT. 84 00:03:33,281 --> 00:03:34,682 FINE. 85 00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:38,652 I AUTHORIZE JOE LONGO TO... AND WE'RE ON HOLD. 86 00:03:38,686 --> 00:03:42,690 I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER HEARD "I LIKE BIG BUTTS" SUNG IN HINDI. 87 00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:44,325 SO LOOK, I WAS GOING THROUGH YOUR BILLS. 88 00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:46,260 WE NEED TO DO SOME SERIOUS STREAMLINING. 89 00:03:46,294 --> 00:03:47,428 JOE, THIS IS NOT A GOOD TIME. 90 00:03:47,461 --> 00:03:49,730 OH, I'M SORRY. AM I INTERRUPTING? 91 00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:51,532 YEAH, BUT AT LEAST YOU'RE WEARING PANTS. 92 00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,534 STEWART, THIS IS JOE, MY NANNY. 93 00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,303 DOMESTIC MANAGER. HI. 94 00:03:55,336 --> 00:03:56,770 - NICE TO MEET YOU. - YEP. 95 00:03:56,804 --> 00:03:58,171 ( cell phone rings ) 96 00:03:58,205 --> 00:04:00,774 YOU KNOW WHAT? LET ME GRAB THIS AND I'LL BE BACK TO GRAB YOU FOR LUNCH. 97 00:04:00,808 --> 00:04:03,611 I'LL BE READY TO BE GRABBED. 98 00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:06,314 OH, YES, STEVE, THAT IS THE YEAR I WAS BORN, 99 00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:09,617 OR WITH A MARGIN OF ERROR. 100 00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:13,053 HEY, HONEY. YEAH, SURE, I CAN PICK UP THE KIDS. 101 00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:15,756 NO, I CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW. I'M WORKING. 102 00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:17,491 STEVE, I'VE GOTTA GO. 103 00:04:17,525 --> 00:04:20,060 OKAY, I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF MY GROWLING STOMACH. 104 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,663 WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE? 105 00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:25,499 YOU HAVE MY PHONE. DON'T WORRY. ALL RIGHT? 106 00:04:25,533 --> 00:04:27,601 I'M GONNA HELP YOU TRIM THE FAT OUT OF YOUR BILLS. 107 00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:30,804 - SHALL WE? - DEFINITELY. FINE, TRIM. 108 00:04:30,838 --> 00:04:33,574 BUT REMEMBER, WINE AND SHOES ARE NEVER FAT. DO NOT TOUCH THEM. 109 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:36,276 WHAT IS THIS, MY FIRST DAY? 110 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,682 ( doorbell rings ) 111 00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:45,553 SCARLETT. 112 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:49,590 AND HERE'S HASKELL, TOO. 113 00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:51,825 YAY, HASKELL. 114 00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:53,761 HEY. 115 00:04:56,397 --> 00:04:58,866 - THANKS FOR INVITING US OVER. - SURE. 116 00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:01,735 ANYTHING FOR MY FRIENDS. 117 00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:04,605 SO WHAT ARE THE THREE OF US GONNA DO? 118 00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,340 WELL, RIGHT NOW I'M GONNA PEE 119 00:05:06,374 --> 00:05:08,709 AND YOU TWO TALK AMONGST YOURSELVES. 120 00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:16,550 SO IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE BEEN GROWING YOUR HAIR OUT. 121 00:05:16,584 --> 00:05:19,787 YEAH, NOT SURE IF I SHOULD CUT IT OR KEEP IT. 122 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,755 ONE OF LIFE'S BIG DECISIONS. 123 00:05:21,789 --> 00:05:23,891 YEP. 124 00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:27,895 I'M SORRY, BUT I'M TRYING TO SEE IF WE CAN HAVE A REGULAR CONVERSATION 125 00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:31,098 YOU KNOW, WITH, LIKE, EYE CONTACT AND EVERYTHING. 126 00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:32,933 ALL RIGHT. 127 00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:37,838 WELL, THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WE CAN CONNECT ON. 128 00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:40,474 TELL ME YOUR LIKES AND DISLIKES. 129 00:05:40,508 --> 00:05:42,376 OKAY. 130 00:05:42,410 --> 00:05:44,812 I LIKE HIP-HOP, AND I'M AFRAID OF SHARKS. 131 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:47,381 THAT'S SO WEIRD BECAUSE I LIKE SHARKS, 132 00:05:47,415 --> 00:05:49,617 BUT I'M AFRAID OF HIP-HOP. 133 00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:51,919 YOU KNOW, YOU'RE NOT SO BAD. 134 00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:54,888 REALLY? SO YOU THINK YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY LIKE ME? 135 00:05:54,922 --> 00:05:57,658 I'LL GIVE IT A TRY. 136 00:05:57,691 --> 00:06:00,394 I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE. I HOPE THIS DOESN'T MAKE ME SOUND WEIRD. 137 00:06:00,428 --> 00:06:02,730 WEIRD. I LIKE WEIRD. LET'S HEAR IT. 138 00:06:02,763 --> 00:06:04,832 I KIND OF SIT BEHIND YOU IN MATH CLASS, 139 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:08,602 AND I LOOK AT YOUR NECK A LOT. 140 00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:12,506 YOU HAVE THE CUTEST NECK I'VE EVER SEEN. 141 00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:15,142 OKAY, MAYBE I DON'T LIKE WEIRD. 142 00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:18,812 HEY, SCARLETT, YOU DONE PEEING YET? 'CAUSE WE NEED YOU OUT HERE. 143 00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:20,848 WAIT, I'M SORRY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID ANYTHING. 144 00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,215 I FEEL LIKE SUCH AN IDIOT. 145 00:06:22,249 --> 00:06:25,953 LOOK AT YOU TWO BEST BUDS HANGING OUT. SO WHERE ARE WE GOING? 146 00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:27,688 I WAS THINKING LASER TAG. 147 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,957 GREAT. LET ME GET MY SCARF. 148 00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:31,859 MY BIG OLD SCARF. 149 00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:38,832 - HOW'S THE BILL PAYING GOING? - IT'S GOING FINE. 150 00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:40,434 I GOT A QUICK QUESTION FOR YOU. 151 00:06:40,468 --> 00:06:42,970 I'M GONNA CANCEL ONE OF YOUR THREE GYM MEMBERSHIPS HERE. 152 00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:45,439 SO WHICH ONE OF THESE DO YOU NOT GO TO THE MOST? 153 00:06:45,473 --> 00:06:46,974 OOH, IT'S HARD TO SAY. 154 00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:49,843 YEAH, JUST LIKE I THOUGHT. OKAY, ALL GONE. 155 00:06:49,877 --> 00:06:53,814 BY THE WAY, HOW WAS YOUR BUSINESS LUNCH WITH MR. ARMANI SUIT? 156 00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:55,949 HIS NAME IS STEWART, AND HE'S THE ASSISTANT CITY ATTORNEY. 157 00:06:55,983 --> 00:06:57,851 - VERY NICE GUY. - OH, IS HE NICE? 158 00:06:57,885 --> 00:07:00,788 YEAH, HE SEEMS NICE. AND THE TWO OF YOU GUYS SEEMED REAL CHUMMY. 159 00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:03,691 'CAUSE YOU'RE ALWAYS, I'M SURE, CHUMMING IT UP DOWN THERE AT WORK, YOU KNOW? 160 00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:07,194 WELL, PEOPLE LIKE ME, AND I SMELL GOOD. 161 00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:08,562 AND NO ONE DOWN THERE AT THE OFFICE WAS CONCERNED 162 00:07:08,596 --> 00:07:11,765 ABOUT A MARRIED MAN HAVING LUNCH WITH AN ATTRACTIVE SINGLE WOMAN? 163 00:07:11,799 --> 00:07:15,002 YOU THINK I'M ATTRACTIVE? 164 00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:17,004 LET'S STAY ON TOPIC HERE, OKAY? 165 00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:19,840 JOE, SINGLE PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO TALK TO MARRIED PEOPLE. 166 00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:22,576 I KNOW. I'M JUST SAYING IT LOOKS A LITTLE FUNKY, 167 00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:23,977 YOU KNOW, A LITTLE HINKY. 168 00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:26,614 IT IS NEITHER FUNKY NOR HINKY, 169 00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:28,716 BUT LET'S GET BACK TO WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT HERE. 170 00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:30,017 SO ON YOUR ATTRACTIVENESS SCALE, WHERE AM I? 171 00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:33,521 LIKE 8, 9, 11? 172 00:07:33,554 --> 00:07:36,857 I GOTTA GO PAY BILLS. 173 00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:38,892 HA HA. 11. 174 00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:45,032 $80 FOR A BRAZILIAN WAX? 175 00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:48,536 WHAT, DID SHE GO TO RIO TO GET THIS THING DONE? 176 00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:52,239 "WIL-GRND-INC. WIL-GRND-INC." 177 00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:55,809 WHAT THE HECK ARE ALL THESE CHARGES ON HERE FOR WIL-GRND-INC? 178 00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:03,584 WILTON GRAND HOTEL, THE JEWEL OF DOWNTOWN TOLEDO. 179 00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:04,985 HOW MAY I BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY? 180 00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:06,654 I'M SORRY, DID YOU JUST SAY "HOTEL"? 181 00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:09,790 I SAID, "WILTON GRAND HOTEL, JEWEL OF DOWNTOWN TOLEDO. 182 00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:12,526 - HOW MAY I BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY?" - I GOT IT. THANK YOU. 183 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:15,262 YES, I'M ACTUALLY CALLING ON BEHALF OF A MEL BURKE. 184 00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:17,798 I'M CALLING ABOUT THESE RECURRING CHARGES 185 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,667 ON MS. BURKE'S CREDIT CARD STATEMENT. 186 00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:22,069 WE KNOW MS. BURKE VERY WELL. I'M HAPPY TO CHECK FOR YOU, SIR. 187 00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:24,938 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. SO WHAT KIND OF LUNCHES ARE THESE? 188 00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:27,541 ALL THE LOBSTER YOU CAN PUT IN YOUR PURSE? 189 00:08:27,575 --> 00:08:29,877 - ( computer beeps ) - NO, SIR, THESE ARE ALL ROOM CHARGES. 190 00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:31,945 ROOM CHARGES? THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. 191 00:08:31,979 --> 00:08:34,014 SHE DIDN'T HAVE ANY OVERNIGHT STAYS ON THESE DAYS. 192 00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:35,616 MS. BURKE NEVER STAYS THE NIGHT. 193 00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:38,018 SHE ALWAYS CHECKS OUT AFTER A FEW HOURS. 194 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:45,058 THANK YOU FOR THE EVIDENCE... ASSISTANCE. 195 00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:55,736 LENNOX. 196 00:08:55,769 --> 00:08:58,706 I KNOW, I KNOW. I LOOK RIDICULOUS. 197 00:08:58,739 --> 00:09:01,842 BUT APPARENTLY MY NECK HAS STIRRED UP A LOT OF BAD FEELINGS. 198 00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:04,878 SO IT'S BETTER FOR EVERYONE IF I KEEP IT UNDER WRAPS. 199 00:09:04,912 --> 00:09:07,648 GREAT, GOOD THINKING, LISTEN, 200 00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:08,916 I WANT YOU TO CHECK OUT WHAT I BOUGHT FOR HOLLY. 201 00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:12,753 I NEED A WOMAN'S OPINION AND YOU'RE THE CLOSEST THING I'VE GOT. 202 00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:15,723 IF YOU'RE SO WORRIED ABOUT IT, WHY DON'T YOU JUST GET HER A GIFT CARD? 203 00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:19,660 A GIFT CARD? SERIOUSLY? WHY DON'T I JUST BREAK MY OWN NOSE? 204 00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:21,762 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE IT. 205 00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:26,900 IT'S CUTE. 206 00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:28,702 I HOPE SO. 207 00:09:28,736 --> 00:09:31,839 I REALLY WANT HOLLY TO BE HAPPY BECAUSE WHEN HOLLY'S NOT HAPPY, 208 00:09:31,872 --> 00:09:34,742 NOBODY'S HAPPY. 209 00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:36,610 SHE'S A LUCKY GIRL. YOU KNOW THAT? 210 00:09:36,644 --> 00:09:38,879 'CAUSE YOU'D NEVER LOOK AT ANOTHER GIRL'S NECK, WOULD YOU? 211 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:41,915 HOLLY DOESN'T EVEN LET ME LOOK AT HER NECK. 212 00:09:41,949 --> 00:09:43,917 YOU'RE SWEET. 213 00:09:43,951 --> 00:09:46,987 AND GOOFY. KEEP WORKING THAT. 214 00:09:57,665 --> 00:09:59,166 OH! 215 00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:01,068 WHY ARE YOU SO JUMPY? 216 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:04,772 'CAUSE YOU JUST APPEARED OUT OF NOWHERE LIKE A REALLY CREEPY WAITER. 217 00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:07,708 LISTEN, I WAS GOING THROUGH YOUR CREDIT CARD STATEMENT HERE. 218 00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:11,712 I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE THIS RECURRING CHARGE AT THE WILTON GRAND HOTEL. 219 00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:13,947 THAT MUST BE SOME OTHER MEL BURKE. 220 00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:15,716 THAT'S NOT HOW CREDIT CARDS WORK. 221 00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:18,085 OH, YEAH. YOU KNOW WHAT? SOMETIMES, I GO THERE FOR LUNCH. 222 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:21,955 AND I TIP, LIKE, 300%, 400%. 223 00:10:21,989 --> 00:10:23,290 NO, THESE ARE IN FACT ROOM CHARGES, 224 00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:25,693 WHICH IS KIND OF STRANGE BECAUSE YOU LIVE HERE, SO THERE'S NO REASON 225 00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:27,661 YOU'D HAVE TO GO SOMEPLACE ELSE THAT HAS A BED 226 00:10:27,695 --> 00:10:29,830 AND A SHOWER FOR AFTERWARDS. 227 00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:31,965 - THAT'S RIDICULOUS. - IT'S THAT ARMANI SUIT GUY, ISN'T IT? 228 00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:33,967 - WHAT ARE YOU SUGGESTING? - WHAT AM I SUGGESTING? 229 00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:35,903 I'M SUGGESTING THAT YOU'RE SNEAKING OFF TO THIS HOTEL 230 00:10:35,936 --> 00:10:38,071 - TO DO SOMETHING YOU'RE ASHAMED OF. - WHAT? 231 00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:41,709 WHAT? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT... IT. YOU KNOW, MAN, WOMAN. 232 00:10:41,742 --> 00:10:42,943 IT. 233 00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,812 IT? WE'RE ALL THE WAY TO IT? 234 00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:47,080 SO NOW HE AND I ARE IT-ING? 235 00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:48,816 YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE RIGHT. THAT'S A CRAZY THEORY. 236 00:10:48,849 --> 00:10:50,083 LET'S JUST GO BACK TO THE BIG TIP STORY. WHAT WAS IT, 400%? 237 00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:51,952 CAN I GET A TIP LIKE THAT? 238 00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:53,053 OKAY, I GOT A TIP FOR YOU. 239 00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:55,055 HOW ABOUT YOU PAY THE BILLS AND STOP ASKING QUESTIONS? 240 00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:56,757 YOU KNOW WHO SAYS STUFF LIKE THAT? GUILTY PEOPLE. 241 00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:59,860 I'M NOT EVEN GONNA DIGNIFY YOUR ACCUSATION WITH A RESPONSE. 242 00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:01,762 THAT LITTLE EYE ROLL THING YOU JUST DID, THAT WAS A RESPONSE. 243 00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:03,831 OKAY, LOOK, I CAN HANDLE MY OWN AFFAIRS. 244 00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:06,734 AFFAIRS! YOU JUST SAID "AFFAIRS," BABY. 245 00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:08,769 IT WAS A WORD, LONGO, A SLIP OF THE TONGUE. 246 00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:10,704 SPARE ME THE FILTHY DETAILS. 247 00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:19,046 - I WAS JUST GOING TO... - YEAH, I DON'T WANNA KNOW. HAVE FUN. 248 00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:20,981 WHO SAYS I'M HAVING FUN? 249 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:22,716 NO ONE, BUT IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA HAVE FUN, THEN WHAT'S THE POINT? 250 00:11:22,750 --> 00:11:24,151 JUST GO. 251 00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,686 FUN YOUR BRAINS OUT. 252 00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:31,759 WAS THAT AUNT MEL? I NEED TO TALK TO HER. 253 00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:35,028 SHE LEFT. SO HERE'S A NOVEL IDEA... WHY DON'T YOU TALK TO ME? 254 00:11:35,062 --> 00:11:37,030 ALL RIGHT? I GOT A TON OF LIFE EXPERIENCE. 255 00:11:37,064 --> 00:11:40,734 PLUS I'M RIGHT LIKE 90% OF THE TIME. 256 00:11:40,768 --> 00:11:43,036 WELL, OKAY. 257 00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:46,239 YOU KNOW MY FRIEND SCARLETT? 258 00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:48,008 I TRIED TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH HER BOYFRIEND 259 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:50,477 AND THEN HE TRIED TO MAKE MORE-THAN-FRIENDS WITH ME. 260 00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:52,913 TRYING TO STRETCH A SINGLE INTO A DOUBLE, HUH? 261 00:11:52,946 --> 00:11:54,281 YEAH, GUYS ARE GONNA DO THAT. 262 00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:56,049 DID YOU TELL SCARLETT? 263 00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:58,852 NO, SHE'LL THINK I'M TRYING TO BREAK 'EM UP. 264 00:11:58,886 --> 00:12:01,088 YEAH, BUT YOU CAN'T JUST LET HER STICK WITH SOMEBODY THAT SHE SHOULDN'T BE WITH. 265 00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:04,091 I MEAN, SURE, MAYBE SHE GETS MAD AT YOU. 266 00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:06,994 MAYBE SHE LIES TO YOU ABOUT OVER-TIPPING 267 00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:09,296 AND THEN RUNS OFF TO DO HER SKEEZY BUSINESS SOMEWHERE IN A HOTEL NEARBY. 268 00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:12,165 BUT THE POINT IS, 269 00:12:12,199 --> 00:12:14,167 YOU'RE GONNA BE ABLE TO KNOW THAT YOU TRIED TO STOP HER, ALL RIGHT, 270 00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:16,103 AND THAT YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. 271 00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:19,106 OKAY, THAT GOT A LITTLE CONFUSING IN THE MIDDLE THERE, 272 00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:22,142 BUT I THINK YOU'RE SAYING I SHOULD TELL HER. 273 00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:23,911 IS THAT WHAT YOU WOULD DO? 274 00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:26,046 YEAH, YEAH, I MIGHT. 275 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:28,782 I MEAN... NO, YOU KNOW WHAT? 276 00:12:28,816 --> 00:12:32,052 I WOULD RIGHT NOW. 277 00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:40,894 I GOT HERE AS QUICK AS I COULD. 278 00:12:40,928 --> 00:12:43,130 WHAT'S UP? 279 00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:45,132 SCARLETT, I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY, 280 00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:47,200 AND I'M NOT QUITE SURE HOW TO SAY IT. 281 00:12:47,234 --> 00:12:49,202 SO JUST HANG IN THERE WITH ME WHILE I TRY TO FIND THE RIGHT WORDS 282 00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:51,338 TO TELL YOU THAT HASKELL HIT ON ME. 283 00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:53,807 HEY, THAT WAS EASY. 284 00:12:53,841 --> 00:12:56,343 WHAT? REALLY? 285 00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:58,111 I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. 286 00:12:58,145 --> 00:12:59,579 I KNOW. HE HIT ON ME. 287 00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:02,950 HE WANTS TO GET ALL UP IN MY NECK. 288 00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:05,218 NO, I CAN'T BELIEVE HE HIT ON YOU. 289 00:13:05,252 --> 00:13:08,088 I WAS ONLY TRYING TO BE FRIENDLY AND... 290 00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,222 WHAT DO YOU MEAN "ON YOU," 291 00:13:09,256 --> 00:13:12,059 LIKE I'M A HAIRLESS CAT OR SOMETHING? 292 00:13:12,092 --> 00:13:15,595 IT'S JUST YOU'RE NOT HIS TYPE. 293 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:19,066 - MEANING? - HASKELL'S INTO GIRLS LIKE ME. 294 00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:20,834 YOU KNOW, SMOKIN' HOT. 295 00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:25,172 WOW! 296 00:13:25,205 --> 00:13:27,274 I HAVE BEEN TORTURING MYSELF OVER HOW 297 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:30,110 TO TELL YOU ABOUT THIS BECAUSE I ACTUALLY CARE HOW YOU FEEL, 298 00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:33,180 BUT YOU DON'T CARE HOW I FEEL AT ALL. 299 00:13:33,213 --> 00:13:36,283 WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? I AM HOT. CRAZY HOT. 300 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,852 THIS NECK? IRRESISTIBLE. 301 00:13:38,886 --> 00:13:41,188 OKAY. 302 00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:44,257 YEAH, YOU WISH YOU HAD A NECK LIKE THIS. 303 00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:46,293 IT GOES ALL THE WAY UP TO MY EARS. 304 00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:51,364 ( doorbell rings ) 305 00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,904 HI, HOLLY. YOU'RE RIGHT ON TIME. 306 00:13:56,937 --> 00:14:00,908 OF COURSE. PUNCTUALITY IS ONE OF MY SPECIAL SKILLS. 307 00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:05,112 OH, SHIRT! 308 00:14:06,213 --> 00:14:08,148 I MEAN... ( clears throat ) 309 00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:12,152 WHEN DID YOU GET THAT? 310 00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:15,222 THIS? OH, I BOUGHT IT YESTERDAY. 311 00:14:15,255 --> 00:14:16,423 DO YOU LIKE IT? 312 00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:18,225 LOVE IT. IT'S GREAT. 313 00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:21,228 IT'S THE SECOND BEST SHIRT I'VE EVER SEEN. 314 00:14:22,329 --> 00:14:25,298 RYDER, I'M READY TO RECEIVE MY PRESENT NOW. 315 00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:29,002 WHAT PRESENT? 316 00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:31,004 THIS ONE RIGHT HERE IN YOUR HANDS. 317 00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:32,973 THE ONE WITH THE TAG ON IT THAT SAYS, 318 00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:36,376 "TO MY SCARY BEAR," YOU SILLY SQUEAKY MOUSE. 319 00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:38,478 HOLLY, WAIT. 320 00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:43,917 IS THIS THE SAME SHIRT THAT I'M WEARING? 321 00:14:43,951 --> 00:14:46,219 NO. NO. 322 00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:49,256 YEAH, IT'S EXACTLY THE SAME. 323 00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:51,058 ARE YOU SURE? IT LOOKS TOTALLY DIFFERENT. 324 00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:54,194 I MEAN, NIGHT AND DAY. 325 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:57,064 RYDER. 326 00:14:58,098 --> 00:15:00,200 I LOVE IT. 327 00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:02,302 LOVE IT? YOU'VE ALREADY GOT IT. 328 00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:05,305 YEAH, YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I LIKE. 329 00:15:06,373 --> 00:15:08,275 AND NOW 330 00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:10,443 I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU THAT THING YOU LIKE. 331 00:15:10,477 --> 00:15:13,146 I DO LIKE THAT THING. 332 00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:27,294 - Mel: WHO IS IT? - ROOM SERVICE. 333 00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:32,232 I DEFINITELY DID NOT ORDER THIS. 334 00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,334 LONGO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 335 00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:35,435 WHAT AM I DOING HERE? I'M NOT STANDING IDLY BY. 336 00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:37,004 THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING HERE, OKAY? 337 00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:38,271 'CAUSE FRIENDS LOOK OUT FOR FRIENDS. 338 00:15:38,305 --> 00:15:40,040 AND I KNOW I'M YOUR BILL-PAYING-GUY 339 00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:42,375 AND YOUR DOMESTIC MANAGER... 340 00:15:42,409 --> 00:15:45,112 - CAN'T YOU JUST SAY NANNY? - NO, I CANNOT, NO. 341 00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:46,513 WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE IS NOT ONLY GONNA HURT YOUR CAREER, 342 00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:48,348 BUT IT'S GONNA HURT A LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE. 343 00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:50,183 AND I THINK THAT YOU DESERVE 344 00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:53,086 TO BE MORE THAN SOME GUY'S HOTEL CANDY. 345 00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:55,155 SO I JUST WANTED TO COME HERE AND TELL YOU THAT. 346 00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:57,257 YOU KNOW WHAT, JOE? 347 00:15:57,290 --> 00:16:00,227 I'M DONE SNEAKING AROUND. COME ON IN. 348 00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:03,030 - WHAT? NO, NO, NO. I DON'T WANNA SEE. - YEAH, YOU DO. 349 00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:04,364 OKAY, ALL RIGHT. 350 00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:07,434 I'M COMING IN, MAN. MAKE SURE EVERYTHING'S BACK IN ITS HOLSTER. 351 00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:12,372 SO WHERE'S THE GUY? 352 00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:13,773 OH, THE GUY I'M SLUTTING AROUND WITH? 353 00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:16,276 YEAH, HE'S RIGHT IN THERE. 354 00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,278 HUH? 355 00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:21,281 IT'S TIME TO COME CLEAN AND REVEAL MY BIG SECRET. 356 00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:24,084 IT'S TRUE. I GET A ROOM HERE ONCE A WEEK. 357 00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:26,319 FIRST, I SOAK IN THE JACUZZI TUB 358 00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:27,754 WITH THE GINGER-SCENTED BUBBLE BATH. 359 00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:30,390 THEN, I PUT ON THIS BIG, SOFT, VELVETY ROBE, 360 00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:33,426 AND I LIE BACK ON SHEETS THAT ARE LIKE A MILLION THREAD-COUNT. 361 00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:35,328 AND THEN, 362 00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:37,164 I WATCH A CHICK FLICK. 363 00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:40,433 YOU KNOW, THE KIND OF MOVIE THAT MAKES MEN'S EYES BLEED, 364 00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:44,371 AND I LOVE EVERY MINUTE OF IT. 365 00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:46,373 I DON'T GET IT. 366 00:16:46,406 --> 00:16:47,774 YOU WERE RIGHT, JOE. 367 00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:51,578 I'M HAVING AN AFFAIR... WITH MYSELF. 368 00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,780 WAIT A MINUTE. 369 00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:56,616 YOU CHECK INTO A HOTEL TO WATCH A DVD? 370 00:16:58,485 --> 00:17:00,453 - WHY? - EVERY DAY AT WORK, 371 00:17:00,487 --> 00:17:03,223 I'M SWARMED BY PEOPLE WANTING ME TO SOLVE PROBLEMS AND ANSWER QUESTIONS. 372 00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:06,393 AND THEN I COME HOME, AND I'M SWARMED BY YOU AND THE KIDS, 373 00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:09,162 WITH MORE PROBLEMS AND MORE QUESTIONS. 374 00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:11,531 IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T LOVE MY JOB OR MY FAMILY. 375 00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:15,535 IT'S JUST I NEVER GET A MOMENT TO MYSELF, 376 00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:18,205 YOU KNOW, TO JUST TAKE A BREATH AND RELAX. 377 00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:21,574 AND ROOM 1208 IS MY OASIS. 378 00:17:21,608 --> 00:17:25,278 AND I JUST BUM-RUSHED YOUR OASIS. 379 00:17:25,312 --> 00:17:27,580 TOTALLY STOMPED IT. 380 00:17:27,614 --> 00:17:29,849 I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON. 381 00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:32,285 ALL RIGHT. 382 00:17:32,319 --> 00:17:33,620 I TELL YOU WHAT. I'M GONNA GET OUT OF HERE, OKAY? 383 00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:36,089 AND I PROMISE I'M NOT GONNA MENTION 384 00:17:36,123 --> 00:17:37,490 YOUR SECRET HIDEAWAY TO ANYBODY. 385 00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:39,459 BUT YOU GOTTA PROMISE ME YOU'RE NOT GONNA MENTION 386 00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:42,095 THAT MY 90% BEING RIGHT AVERAGE 387 00:17:42,129 --> 00:17:43,396 TOOK A MAJOR HIT TODAY. 388 00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:45,432 - DEAL. - THANK YOU. 389 00:17:45,465 --> 00:17:47,500 OH, ONE LAST THING. 390 00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:50,103 YOU KNOW THIS NICE HOTEL CHOCOLATE HERE? 391 00:17:50,137 --> 00:17:51,504 PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE NOT GETTING THIS OUT OF THE MINIBAR, 392 00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:54,107 'CAUSE THEY MARK THINGS UP LIKE CRAZY IN A HOTEL. 393 00:17:54,141 --> 00:17:56,443 JOE, IF YOU DON'T LEAVE, I'M GONNA OPEN MY ROBE AND FLASH YOU. 394 00:17:56,476 --> 00:17:57,544 NO, THANKS. I'LL SEE YOU AT HOME. 395 00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:14,361 LENNOX. 396 00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:16,863 I'M SORRY I FREAKED YOU OUT. 397 00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:18,531 I WAS OUT OF LINE THE OTHER DAY, 398 00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:20,133 AND IT SORT OF SET OFF A CHAIN REACTION. 399 00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:21,401 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 400 00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,902 SCARLETT AND I BROKE UP. 401 00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:26,573 I'M SORRY, HASKELL, BUT I HAD TO TELL HER. 402 00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:28,375 NO, WE DIDN'T BREAK UP BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU SAID. 403 00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:31,144 OKAY, THEN I'M LOST. 404 00:18:31,178 --> 00:18:32,545 I'VE WANTED TO ASK YOU OUT FOREVER, 405 00:18:32,579 --> 00:18:34,514 BUT I DIDN'T HAVE THE COURAGE TO TALK TO YOU, 406 00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:36,383 SO I PUT A NOTE IN YOUR LOCKER. 407 00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:38,585 I NEVER GOT A NOTE. 408 00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:42,322 YEAH, TURNED OUT IT WAS SCARLETT'S LOCKER. 409 00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:44,657 SO I KIND OF HAD TO FOLLOW THROUGH 410 00:18:44,691 --> 00:18:46,426 AND BE HER BOYFRIEND FOR A WHILE. 411 00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:49,562 AND WHEN I TOLD HER THAT I'VE BEEN DATING HER BY ACCIDENT, 412 00:18:49,596 --> 00:18:51,531 SHE DUMPED ME. 413 00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:54,234 YEAH, I CAN SEE HOW THAT WOULD HAPPEN. 414 00:18:55,368 --> 00:18:58,438 SO NOW THAT WE'RE BROKEN UP, 415 00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:00,573 IF I WAITED THE STANDARD THREE MONTHS, 416 00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:04,311 WOULD IT BE OKAY TO ASK YOU OUT? 417 00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:07,480 UM... NO. 418 00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:09,616 I TOTALLY GET IT. 419 00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:13,586 TWO MONTHS. THAT SHOULD DO IT. 420 00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:15,655 GREAT. 421 00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:18,191 YOU KEEP SMILING LIKE THAT, AND IT'LL BE A WEEK. 422 00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:24,564 ( TV playing ) 423 00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:26,366 HEY, GUYS, I'M HOME. 424 00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:27,600 - HEY. - HEY. 425 00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:30,470 SO, RYDER, I THOUGHT OF A GREAT GIFT FOR HOLLY. 426 00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,639 ALREADY TAKEN CARE OF. I GAVE HER A SHIRT SHE ALREADY HAD, 427 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,675 AND SHE GAVE ME A KISS THAT I'M PRETTY SURE INCLUDED TONGUE. 428 00:19:37,444 --> 00:19:40,380 SURE IT WASN'T GUM THIS TIME? 429 00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:42,549 I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE IT WAS TONGUE. 430 00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:44,451 GREAT. SO, LENNOX, HOW DID IT GO WITH YOU? 431 00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:47,354 DID YOU MAKE FRIENDS WITH SCARLETT'S BOYFRIEND? 432 00:19:47,387 --> 00:19:48,988 I HAVE TO SAY I DID. 433 00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:51,591 GREAT, THEN I AM ALL CAUGHT UP WITH MY STORIES. 434 00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:52,559 WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? 435 00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:54,227 AND WHAT'S UP WITH THE BAGS? 436 00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:55,762 HEY, ENOUGH WITH THE QUESTIONS. LET'S GO. 437 00:19:55,795 --> 00:19:58,498 GET OF HERE, GIVE YOUR AUNT A LITTLE PRIVACY, OKAY? 438 00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:00,233 BEAT IT. LET'S GO, SCRAM. 439 00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:05,672 IT'S ALL YOURS, BURKE. A QUIET, EMPTY LIVING ROOM. 440 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:09,242 - WELL, THANK YOU, JOE. - SURE, JUST YOU AND ME 441 00:20:09,276 --> 00:20:11,244 AND 22 GUYS WEARING FOOTBALL HELMETS. MOVE OVER. 442 00:20:11,278 --> 00:20:13,546 - WHAT? - WHAT? COME ON, IT'S THE PLAYOFFS. 443 00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:16,549 - ( clicks ) - ( TV playing ) 444 00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:18,618 SAY YOU LOVE FOOTBALL. 445 00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:31,664 HEY, WHAT'S THIS? 446 00:20:31,698 --> 00:20:35,402 OH, THAT'S FOR YOU FROM ME. 447 00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:39,406 IT'S A SUPER SOFT VELVETY ROBE LIKE THE ONE AT THE HOTEL 448 00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:41,674 AND THOUSAND THREAD-COUNT SHEETS? 449 00:20:41,708 --> 00:20:43,443 YEAH, WELL, THE LADY IN THE DEPARTMENT STORE SAID 450 00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:45,578 IT'S THE CLOSEST THING THEY GOT TO A MILLION. 451 00:20:45,612 --> 00:20:48,815 YEAH, AND HERE'S SOME OF THAT FANCY HOTEL CHOCOLATE YOU LIKE. 452 00:20:48,848 --> 00:20:52,319 I FIGURE YOU COULD EAT IT WHILE YOU'RE WATCHING YOUR DVD. 453 00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:53,820 JOE, THAT IS SO THOUGHTFUL. 454 00:20:53,853 --> 00:20:56,423 NOW YOU CAN HAVE THE HOTEL EXPERIENCE 455 00:20:56,456 --> 00:20:57,690 IN THE PRIVACY OF YOUR OWN ROOM 456 00:20:57,724 --> 00:21:00,293 AT A FRACTION OF THE COST. 457 00:21:00,327 --> 00:21:02,329 SO THAT'S ALL YOU CARE ABOUT, MY BOTTOM LINE? 458 00:21:02,362 --> 00:21:05,498 YEAH, PRETTY MUCH. ENJOY. 459 00:21:07,334 --> 00:21:08,501 - HEY, JOE. - YEAH. 460 00:21:08,535 --> 00:21:10,737 DO YOU WANNA... 461 00:21:12,472 --> 00:21:13,440 SURE. 462 00:21:13,473 --> 00:21:15,608 PUT THE OTHER HALF OF THIS IN THE FRIDGE FOR ME?