1 00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:09,977 "MELISSA & JOEY" IS RECORDED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE. 2 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,712 Boy in film: We can't do it, Mom. 3 00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:13,147 We'll never beat those guys. 4 00:00:13,181 --> 00:00:15,083 Mom: Well, Cody, 5 00:00:15,116 --> 00:00:17,718 you've got something that big-city team doesn't have... 6 00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:21,089 - you've got a whole town that believes in you. - ( crying ) 7 00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:23,124 I BELIEVE IN YOU, CODY. 8 00:00:24,658 --> 00:00:27,027 - TISSUE? - NO. 9 00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:29,630 ( crowd in film cheering ) 10 00:00:29,663 --> 00:00:33,000 - ( cellphone rings ) - YO, NOT MUCH. 11 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:35,736 JUST WATCHING A MOVIE. NAH, IT'S PRETTY LAME. 12 00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:39,073 - Crowd: SHH! - HOW MANY CALLS IS THIS GUY GONNA TAKE? 13 00:00:39,107 --> 00:00:41,609 - SOMEONE SHOULD SHOVE THAT PHONE DOWN HIS THROAT. - ( man laughs ) 14 00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:43,644 - IT'D BE MY PLEASURE. - NO, JOE. 15 00:00:43,677 --> 00:00:46,046 LOOK, I'D LIKE TO DECK HIM TOO, BUT WE CAN'T IN FRONT OF THE KIDS. 16 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:48,182 - Man: YEAH, WELL... - DAMN IT. WHY DID WE BRING THE KIDS? 17 00:00:48,216 --> 00:00:50,184 KIDS RUIN EVERYTHING. 18 00:00:50,218 --> 00:00:52,186 WE CAN HEAR YOU, YOU KNOW. 19 00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:54,021 SO YOU SAW THIS ONE? 20 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,756 - OH MY GOD. - ( Mel sighs ) 21 00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:59,693 - THE KID LOSES THE BIG GAME? - ( people moan ) 22 00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:01,162 SOMEONE HAS TO TALK TO THIS GUY. 23 00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:04,198 I'M GONNA TALK TO HIM WITH MR. CHUCK AND MR. NORRIS. 24 00:01:04,232 --> 00:01:06,767 JOE, WE HAVE TO SET A GOOD EXAMPLE. 25 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,703 - SINCE WHEN? - I READ THIS IN A MAGAZINE 26 00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:11,205 ABOUT CONTROLLING YOUR TEMPER. 27 00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:15,075 IT WAS A DOG MAGAZINE, BUT THE SAME PRINCIPLE APPLIES. 28 00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:17,778 SO HOW'S YOUR BROTHER? IS HE STILL A DOUCHE? 29 00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:20,047 OH, GO GET AN USHER. 30 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,749 I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 31 00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:26,787 - Man: NAH, I GOT TIME. - HEY, YOU ARE MAKING IT 32 00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:29,723 - REALLY HARD FOR ME TO WATCH THIS MOVIE. - ( beeps ) 33 00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:32,226 YOU KNOW WHAT'S MAKING IT HARD FOR ME TO WATCH THIS MOVIE? 34 00:01:32,260 --> 00:01:35,229 THIS BEANPOLE FREAK OF NATURE HERE BLOCKING MY VIEW. 35 00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:37,731 ( gasps ) YOU DID NOT TOUCH HIM! 36 00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:40,801 - I THINK I DID. - NO, YOU DON'T TOUCH HIM. 37 00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:43,837 - OR WHAT? - ( people murmuring ) 38 00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:49,243 OR I WILL GET THE MANAGER. 39 00:01:49,277 --> 00:01:51,245 YOU GO DO THAT, BLONDIELOCKS. 40 00:01:51,279 --> 00:01:53,714 - YOU GO DO THAT. - ( scoffs ) 41 00:01:55,283 --> 00:01:57,151 - ( woman gasps ) - ( Lennox laughing ) 42 00:01:57,185 --> 00:01:59,187 ( crowd cheers ) 43 00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:04,258 WE'RE GOOD. HE'S QUIETED DOWN. 44 00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:06,860 ( theme music playing ) 45 00:02:06,894 --> 00:02:08,696 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD - ♪ All good 46 00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:10,231 - ♪ IT'S OKAY - ♪ Okay 47 00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:11,865 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT - ♪ All right 48 00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:13,834 ♪ AS FAR AS I CAN SEE 49 00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:15,269 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD - ♪ All good 50 00:02:15,303 --> 00:02:17,238 - ♪ IT'S OKAY - ♪ Okay 51 00:02:17,271 --> 00:02:19,740 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT - ♪ All right 52 00:02:19,773 --> 00:02:21,875 ♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK ♪ 53 00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:24,878 ♪ WITH ME ♪ 54 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,253 MORNING, MEL. I WAS JUST GONNA BEAT THESE EGGS, 55 00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:33,854 BUT I FIGURE YOU MIGHT WANNA DO IT, 56 00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:35,789 'CAUSE ONE PUNCH... BOOM... OMELET. 57 00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:38,926 LET'S GET READY TO SCRAMBLE! 58 00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:43,130 OKAY, IF THIS IS ABOUT LAST NIGHT, 59 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,266 I TOTALLY REGRET MY ACTIONS. 60 00:02:45,299 --> 00:02:47,167 THAT PUNCH WAS NOT WHO I AM. 61 00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:49,737 WHAT, ARE YOU MORE OF AN EAR-BITER? 62 00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:51,272 YOU KNOW WHAT'S SO GREAT ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT, COUNCILWOMAN? 63 00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:53,907 AFTER MONTHS AND MONTHS AND MONTHS OF YOU CALLING ME A HOTHEAD, 64 00:02:53,941 --> 00:02:56,143 WHO'S THE ONE WHO DECKS THE PERSON FOR TALKING IN THE MOVIE THEATER? 65 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:59,313 HOLD ON, LET ME SAVOR THIS DELICIOUSNESS. 66 00:02:59,347 --> 00:03:01,749 YOU. YOU KNOW WHY? 67 00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:04,785 BECAUSE YOU ARE JUST LIKE ME. HA! 68 00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,788 I AM NOTHING LIKE YOU. 69 00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:11,158 YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES EVEN A RATIONAL PERSON CAN BE PUSHED TO A POINT, 70 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,761 FOR INSTANCE, WHEN HER CUB IS THREATENED. 71 00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:16,797 CUB? THIS KID IS LIKE 8' TALL. 72 00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:19,300 - YOU REALLY WANNA POKE THE MAMA BEAR? - ( chuckles ) 73 00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:22,803 CAN WE JUST MOVE ON? I DON'T WANT THIS TO DEFINE ME, YOU KNOW? 74 00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:25,839 WOULD YOU WANNA BE KNOWN ONLY AS THE GUY WHO WORKED FOR THAT COMPANY 75 00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,841 THAT SWINDLED PEOPLE OUT OF BILLIONS OF DOLLARS? 76 00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,879 THAT IS ALL I'M KNOWN FOR. 77 00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:33,814 HEY, AUNT MEL, LOOK. 78 00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:36,350 SOMEBODY SHOT VIDEO OF YOU AT THE MOVIE THEATER LAST NIGHT. 79 00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:38,286 - YOU'VE GONE VIRAL. - OH. 80 00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:40,321 "BLONDE DECKS CELLPHONE GUY. 81 00:03:40,354 --> 00:03:42,256 WHO IS THIS HOT-HEADED HOTTIE?" 82 00:03:42,290 --> 00:03:45,793 YOU'RE NOT GONNA LET SOMEONE ELSE TAKE CREDIT FOR THAT, ARE YOU? 83 00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:47,295 YES, I AM. THE INTERNET AND I 84 00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:49,229 ARE ALREADY VERY WELL ACQUAINTED. 85 00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:52,333 THAT'S FOR SURE. WHATEVER YOU DO, 86 00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:54,935 DO NOT GOOGLE "OHIO SENATOR'S DAUGHTER FLASHES WORLD 87 00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:57,271 STEPPING OUT OF A LIMO IN A SHORT SKIRT." 88 00:03:57,305 --> 00:03:59,307 HEY, IT WAS LAUNDRY DAY. 89 00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:02,843 YOU DID A LOT OF LAUNDRY BACK THEN. 90 00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:08,916 HARPER, THIS IS NOT A GOOD TIME FOR A MEETING. 91 00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:11,352 WE HAD AN APPOINTMENT. HEY, YOU'RE LUCKY I SHOWED UP. 92 00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:13,954 MY OVARY'S THE SIZE OF A BASEBALL. 93 00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:18,292 - SO NO DONUT HOLES FOR ME. - THE NEWS IS BAD, MEL... 94 00:04:18,326 --> 00:04:21,362 - POOP-HITTING-THE-FAN BAD. - WELL, WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO? 95 00:04:21,395 --> 00:04:23,331 HE THREATENED ME AND MY ENTIRE FAMILY. 96 00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:25,232 WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 97 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,835 WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 98 00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:29,970 I'M TALKING ABOUT THE POLLING RESEARCH. 99 00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:31,839 AS AM I. 100 00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:33,974 I AM HERE TO GET YOU RE-ELECTED. 101 00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:36,243 DO YOU SEE THIS LINE HERE? 102 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:39,246 LIKE MY ESTROGEN, YOU ARE TRENDING DOWN. 103 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,982 YOU JUST DON'T HAVE A STRONG ENOUGH BRAND. 104 00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:43,884 30% OF THE RESPONDENTS THINK 105 00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:46,320 THAT YOU'RE THAT PERKY WEATHER GIRL WHO'S BANGING THE MAYOR. 106 00:04:46,354 --> 00:04:48,889 - UCK! I WOULD NEVER. - UCK ALL YOU WANT, 107 00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:52,292 BUT PEOPLE KNOW WHO SHE IS. AND IT WOULDN'T KILL YOU TO WEAR A PUSH-UP BRA. 108 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:57,365 WAIT, 4% OF PEOPLE THINK MEL BURKE IS A CITY IN AUSTRALIA? 109 00:04:57,398 --> 00:04:59,032 PEOPLE DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE 110 00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:01,001 OR THEY JUST DON'T SEE YOU AT ALL. 111 00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:03,404 WHERE'S MEL? I DON'T SEE MEL. 112 00:05:03,437 --> 00:05:04,972 OH. ( laughs ) 113 00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:08,275 THERE YOU ARE. SOMEONE JUST SENT THIS TO ME. 114 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,978 IS THIS YOU COLDCOCKING A GUY AT THE MOVIES? 115 00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:13,914 - NOT NOW, NOT NOW. - OH, THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO COVER UP? 116 00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:16,884 I LOST MY HEAD, OKAY? THIS IS NOT WHO I AM. 117 00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:19,019 I'M A NEGOTIATOR, A CONSENSUS MAKER. 118 00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:22,022 THIS VIDEO MAKES ME LOOK LIKE A SHORT, WHITE, FEMALE MIKE TYSON. 119 00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:25,025 NO NO NO, THIS IS SICK. I LOVE IT. 120 00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:28,429 YOU KNOW, VOTERS ALWAYS WORRY THAT A WOMAN IN PUBLIC OFFICE ISN'T TOUGH ENOUGH, 121 00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:32,966 THAT SHE CAN'T HANDLE A FIGHT. I CAN TOTALLY SPIN THIS LIKE A DREIDEL. 122 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,403 WELL, HOW ARE YOU GONNA MAKE ASSAULT AND BATTERY 123 00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:37,070 SEEM REASONABLE AND RATIONAL? 124 00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:41,308 LIKE THIS: "FINALLY SOMEONE HAS THE BIG, BLONDE COJONES 125 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,444 TO DEAL WITH ONE OF THOSE MOVIE-THEATER JERKS. 126 00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:46,346 THREE CHEERS FOR COUNCILWOMAN MEL BURKE." 127 00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:49,417 - WHOA! WHAT ARE YOU, INSANE? - OH, FOR SURE. 128 00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:51,419 AND FROM NOW ON, YOU'RE GONNA BE KNOWN 129 00:05:51,452 --> 00:05:53,387 AS FIGHTER FOR THE LITTLE PEOPLE. 130 00:05:53,421 --> 00:05:55,322 - YAY, LITTLE PEOPLE! - YEAH. 131 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:59,059 OKAY, LOOK, HARPER, I KNOW YOU'VE TURNED AROUND A LOT OF CAMPAIGNS 132 00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:02,463 I NEVER LOSE. AND DON'T YOU FEEL THE SAME WAY THAT I DO, 133 00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:04,331 OTHER UNBIASED CITIZEN? 134 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,467 YES. BOY, DO I. 135 00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:09,937 WELL, THEN LET YOUR VOICE BE HEARD IN THE COMMENT SECTION RIGHT THERE. 136 00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:12,440 "BATTLING BURKE SURE GETS MY VOTE. 137 00:06:12,473 --> 00:06:15,476 WHO SAYS WOMEN CAN'T DISH IT OUT? NOT ME, BECAUSE FUNDAMENTALLY... 138 00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:18,111 - SEND. SEND, STEPHANIE. - WHOA WHOA, WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT. 139 00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:19,980 ARE WE SURE THIS IS THE SMARTEST STRATEGY? 140 00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:21,482 MAYBE WE SHOULD ALL JUST TAKE A BREATH HERE. 141 00:06:21,515 --> 00:06:24,117 - SURE, AFTER YOU PRESS "SEND." - ( beeps ) 142 00:06:24,151 --> 00:06:26,487 ( laughs ) NOW WE CAN ALL BREATHE. 143 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,456 ( strained ) NOT YET. 144 00:06:29,457 --> 00:06:32,059 ( school bell rings ) 145 00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:36,029 WOW, I RECOGNIZE THAT BURRITO FROM MY OLD SCHOOL. 146 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:38,131 I HEARD IT GOT PREGNANT AND DROPPED OUT. 147 00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:40,534 ( laughs ) WHATEVER, I'M HUNGRY. 148 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:47,407 CREEPY NEW GIRL HESTER EATS BY HERSELF AT THAT TABLE EVERY SINGLE DAY. 149 00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:49,510 WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SHE'S CREEPY? 150 00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:52,480 HER GENERAL CREEPITUDE. 151 00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:54,414 SHE NEVER TALKS TO ANYBODY. 152 00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:57,150 SHE JUST SCRIBBLES IN HER LITTLE BOOK AND EATS WALNUTS... 153 00:06:57,184 --> 00:07:01,121 - NOTHING BUT WALNUTS. - SHE'S JUST NEW. 154 00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:03,423 I WAS NEW LAST YEAR. IT'S HARD. 155 00:07:03,457 --> 00:07:06,994 YEAH, I REMEMBER. I HATED YOU LAST YEAR. 156 00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:08,596 HEY, ONE PERSON CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. 157 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,602 IT'S HESTER, RIGHT? 158 00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:18,138 THIS MAY BE A FEW WEEKS LATE, 159 00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:21,108 BUT WELCOME TO GRANT HIGH SCHOOL. 160 00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:24,044 - WHO ARE YOU? - OH. 161 00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:26,046 I'M YOUR NEW FRIEND... LENNOX SCANLON. 162 00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:29,182 YOU WANNA SHARE AN UNWED BURRITO FROM THE '90s? 163 00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:33,186 AMAZING... 537 COMMENTS ALREADY? 164 00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:34,588 THIS COULD MOVE MY COMMANDO PICTURE 165 00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:36,490 TO THE SECOND PAGE OF MY GOOGLE SEARCH... 166 00:07:36,524 --> 00:07:38,492 IF SUCH PHOTOS EXISTED. 167 00:07:38,526 --> 00:07:42,095 OH, HERE'S ANOTHER ONE. "GOD BLESS BATTLING MEL BURKE 168 00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:45,465 FOR MAKING OUR MOVIE THEATERS SAFE AGAIN. AND HOW GREAT IS HER HAIR?" 169 00:07:45,499 --> 00:07:48,035 - ( laughs ) - EVEN IN A BRAWL IT HOLDS ITS CURL. 170 00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:51,138 - THE PUBLIC HAS SPOKEN. - BYE-BYE, WEAK POLLING DATA. 171 00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:53,040 - AND HELLO SECOND TERM. - YES. 172 00:07:53,073 --> 00:07:55,075 ( snapping out of sync ) 173 00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:07,154 THANKS FOR COMING OVER TO MY HOUSE. 174 00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:10,090 WELL, YOU DIDN'T LEAVE ME MUCH CHOICE. 175 00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:12,526 YEAH, BUT THIS'LL BE FUN. I MEAN A NEW FRIEND? 176 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:15,495 HOW GREAT IS THAT? 'CAUSE YOU AND I HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON. 177 00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:17,264 YOU HAVE COLITIS TOO? 178 00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:22,570 NO, I MEAN I WRITE ALL THE TIME 179 00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:25,472 AND I SEE YOU WRITING. YOU KNOW, YOU AND ME, US WRITERS... 180 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:28,542 WE BOTH HAVE WORDS JUST EXPLODING OUT OF US, RIGHT? 181 00:08:28,576 --> 00:08:30,210 YOU SURE DO. 182 00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:35,248 CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING TO EAT? I KNOW YOU LIKE WALNUTS. 183 00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:39,252 WE EVEN HAVE PISTACHIOS IF YOU WANNA GO NUTS. 184 00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:44,157 HOW LONG IS THIS PLAYDATE SUPPOSED TO LAST? 185 00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:48,528 HEY, LENNOX. HEY, LENNOX'S FRIEND. 186 00:08:48,562 --> 00:08:50,497 I'M NOT TECHNICALLY HER FRIEND. 187 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:53,133 BUT I'M WORKING ON IT. 188 00:08:53,166 --> 00:08:54,702 APPARENTLY I'M HER PROJECT. 189 00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:56,637 SHE'S ENTERING ME IN THE SCIENCE FAIR. 190 00:08:56,670 --> 00:08:59,172 ( laughs ) NO. NO. 191 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:01,174 IT'S JUST A LITTLE BACK-AND-FORTH THING WE DO. 192 00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,644 YOU KNOW, SHE'S THE DRY ONE, I'M THE GOOFY ONE. 193 00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:09,216 ANYWAY, HESTER, THIS IS JOE AND HE AND I ARE GONNA 194 00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:11,318 - GET YOU THAT SNACK. - OKAY. 195 00:09:12,586 --> 00:09:14,655 - ( chuckles ) - ( chuckles nervously ) 196 00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:16,323 - WE'RE GONNA GO OVER... - YEAH. 197 00:09:17,658 --> 00:09:19,627 WOW, SHE'S A HAPPY ONE. 198 00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:21,662 I INVITED HER OVER BECAUSE SHE'S NEW. 199 00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:24,231 TO WHAT, THE HUMAN RACE? 200 00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:26,667 OKAY, I WAS NEW LAST YEAR. I HAD A HARD TIME FITTING IN, 201 00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:29,302 AND I'M GONNA DO FOR HER WHAT SOMEONE SHOULD'VE DONE FOR ME. 202 00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:32,239 GET HER A PERSONALITY TRANSPLANT? 203 00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:34,642 MAKE HER A FRIEND. BRING HER OUT OF HER SHELL. 204 00:09:34,675 --> 00:09:37,310 YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, JOE. 205 00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:39,680 SHE'S ME. 206 00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:46,219 YEAH, IT'S LIKE LOOKING IN A MIRROR. 207 00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:52,259 - HEY. - HEY THERE. 208 00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:54,728 OH, SO TELL ME... ANY BACKLASH TODAY 209 00:09:54,762 --> 00:09:59,299 FROM THE TWO-FISTED JUSTICE YOU DISPENSED IN THE MOVIE THEATER LAST NIGHT? 210 00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:01,769 NO, IT DID NOT COME UP. 211 00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:04,672 GREAT, SO YOU CAN JUST PUT IT BEHIND YOU, 212 00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:07,340 - PRETEND LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED. - EXACTLY MY PLAN. 213 00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:10,277 NICE. NICE. OH, ON A TOTALLY UNRELATED MATTER, 214 00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:13,280 THESE DRAWINGS OF YOU WEARING BOXING GLOVES 215 00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:14,648 WERE FAXED OVER FROM YOUR OFFICE TODAY. 216 00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:18,351 I LIKE THIS CONCEPT FOUR HERE THE BEST, 217 00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:22,322 'CAUSE I THINK IT TRULY CAPTURES THE BLOODLUST. 218 00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:24,758 WELL, HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW THOSE ARE ME? 219 00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:28,228 WELL, BECAUSE IT SAYS "BATTLING BURKE." 220 00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:32,265 IT'S JUST A LITTLE IDEA MY CAMPAIGN CONSULTANT HAD. 221 00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:35,635 - FOR A MAILER. IT'S A METAPHOR. - METAPHOR? 222 00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:39,239 IS THAT THE NEW, HIP TERM FOR "YOU'RE KIDDING YOURSELF"? 223 00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:41,308 JOE, THE VIDEO WENT VIRAL. 224 00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:43,811 AT LEAST NOW WE'RE IN CONTROL OF THE MESSAGE. 225 00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:46,646 I WASN'T SO SURE THIS MORNING, BUT THIS IS TURNING OUT TO BE A VERY GOOD DAY. 226 00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:49,616 THIS MIGHT'VE BEEN THE WORST DAY EVER. 227 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:52,753 WELL, IT DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH MY BADA-BING, DID IT? 228 00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:55,255 OH, IT HAD EVERYTHING TO DO WITH YOUR BADA-BING. 229 00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:56,790 TO EVERYONE ON EARTH WITH A COMPUTER OR PHONE, 230 00:10:56,824 --> 00:10:58,726 I'M THE BIG WEENIE WHOSE LITTLE BLONDE AUNT 231 00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:00,660 HAD TO DEFEND HIM IN THE MOVIE THEATER. 232 00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:02,662 OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT, BUDDY. ALL THE KIDS ARE GONNA 233 00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:06,633 FORGET ABOUT THAT AS SOON AS THIS WHOLE INTERNET FAD IS OVER. 234 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,836 AND THIS ONE 11th GRADE KID, 235 00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:11,671 DONNIE KEATON, WOULD NOT LET IT GO, AND I WAS WITH HOLLY. 236 00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:13,741 DUDE DISSED ME IN FRONT OF MY WOMAN. 237 00:11:14,775 --> 00:11:17,310 AND YOU JUST WALKED AWAY, RIGHT? 238 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,813 NO, I TOLD HIM TO KNOCK IT OFF AND THEN... 239 00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:22,816 - THEN HE CHALLENGED ME TO A FIGHT. - AND THEN YOU WALKED AWAY? 240 00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:24,684 I COULDN'T DO THAT. I WAS WITH HOLLY. 241 00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:27,387 - I HAVE A REPUTATION. - NO, I DON'T THINK YOU DO, BUD. 242 00:11:28,889 --> 00:11:32,292 RYDER, YOU DO KNOW THAT FIGHTING IS THE WRONG WAY TO RESOLVE AN ISSUE? 243 00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:34,694 WHAT, SO IF HE HITS ME, I JUST DON'T HIT BACK? 244 00:11:34,728 --> 00:11:36,830 NOW WOULDN'T THAT BE A POWERFUL STATEMENT? 245 00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:39,666 - ( cellphone rings ) - THINK ABOUT IT. 246 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,835 HEY, HARPER. YEAH, I'M LOOKING AT THE CONCEPTS NOW. 247 00:11:41,869 --> 00:11:45,405 HEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT PINK BOXING GLOVES? 248 00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:47,841 - OKAY, JOE, YOU GOTTA HELP ME. - NO, MAN. 249 00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:49,743 THERE'S NO WAY I'M TEACHING YOU HOW TO FIGHT. 250 00:11:49,777 --> 00:11:53,480 - AUNT MEL WOULDN'T HAVE TO KNOW. - YES, RYDER, BUT I WOULD KNOW. 251 00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:56,750 I'M JUST KIDDING, MAN. 252 00:11:57,885 --> 00:11:59,853 OH YEAH, WHO'S THE WEENIE NOW, HUH? 253 00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:02,923 NOT ME. MY NANNY'S TEACHING ME HOW TO FIGHT. 254 00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:10,864 SO IS IT TRUE THAT MOST BULLIES ARE JUST TALK? 255 00:12:10,898 --> 00:12:12,732 NO, THEY CAN KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS. 256 00:12:12,766 --> 00:12:15,468 ALL RIGHT, ARE YOU READY? HERE WE GO. 257 00:12:15,502 --> 00:12:17,737 - I'M COMING AT YOU. - OH, DUDE. 258 00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:19,739 - OW. - OW? 259 00:12:19,773 --> 00:12:21,809 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BLOCK. THAT WAS THE STRATEGY, REMEMBER? 260 00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:23,443 YOU'RE JUST GONNA LET THIS BULLY PUNCH HIMSELF OUT. 261 00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:25,712 HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT BOXING? 262 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,881 BECAUSE IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD, YOU HAD TO LEARN HOW TO DEFEND YOURSELF. 263 00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:29,783 I TOOK OUT MANY A BULLY TWICE MY SIZE. 264 00:12:29,817 --> 00:12:32,485 - SO YOUR DAD TAUGHT YOU? - NO, MY MOM... 265 00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:34,822 AND MY AUNT CECILIA. 266 00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:37,757 YEAH, YOU DID NOT WANT TO MESS WITH THOSE LADIES. 267 00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:39,392 ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. PUNCH, LET'S GO. 268 00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:40,794 - ONE, TWO. OH HEY, HI. - JOE. 269 00:12:40,828 --> 00:12:42,729 WE'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING. 270 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,497 BEAT EACH OTHER SENSELESS. I DON'T CARE. 271 00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:46,433 I'M LOOKING FOR MY NOTEBOOK... 272 00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:48,768 THE SPIRAL ONE WITH ALL MY ENGLISH LIT NOTES IN IT? 273 00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:50,838 HERE, HOLD THESE. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 274 00:12:52,539 --> 00:12:54,908 IT WAS RIGHT HERE ON THE TABLE WHEN YOU WERE WORKING HERE WITH, UM... 275 00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:57,544 WHAT'S HER NAME? BEETLEJUICE. 276 00:13:00,413 --> 00:13:02,482 HER NAME IS HESTER. 277 00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:03,884 OH, WELL, THEN JUST BORROW HESTER'S NOTES. 278 00:13:05,418 --> 00:13:06,920 SHE DIDN'T TAKE ANY. SHE'S HAVING 279 00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:09,456 A REALLY HARD TIME ADJUSTING TO A NEW SCHOOL. 280 00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:11,391 NO ONE EVEN TALKS TO HER. 281 00:13:11,424 --> 00:13:13,894 WELL, EXCEPT FOR ME BECAUSE I'M A GOOD PERSON. 282 00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:16,529 WELL, GOOD PERSON, SINCE YOU TOOK NOTES 283 00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:18,932 AND SHE DIDN'T TAKE ANY, I THINK YOU GOT YOURSELF A THIEF. 284 00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:22,970 LOOKS LIKE HESTER IS A HEISTER. 285 00:13:23,003 --> 00:13:25,839 WHAT'S YOUR EVIDENCE? 286 00:13:25,873 --> 00:13:28,408 UM, SHE WAS OVER HERE, SHE LOOKS CREEPY... 287 00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:29,877 SHE DID IT. 288 00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:32,913 EVERYONE IS INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY. 289 00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:35,849 OH, SWEETIE, THAT'S JUST AN EXPRESSION. 290 00:13:36,984 --> 00:13:39,819 I WOULD BET IT'S IN THAT BIG, RATTY BACKPACK OF HERS. 291 00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:43,790 WELL, THERE'S NO WAY TO VERIFY YOUR WILD, PARANOID THEORY. 292 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:44,992 YOU'RE RIGHT. IT'D BE IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND IT 293 00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:47,027 UNLESS WE GET HER BACK OVER HERE AND GO THROUGH IT. 294 00:13:48,896 --> 00:13:50,931 FINE, I WILL DO THAT. 295 00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:52,866 JUST TO PROVE HOW WRONG YOU ARE. 296 00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:55,802 YOU KNOW WHAT, LENNOX? 297 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,504 I THOUGHT I WAS WRONG ONCE. 298 00:13:57,537 --> 00:13:59,873 TURNS OUT I WAS MISTAKEN. 299 00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:04,978 WE NEED TO GO. YOU'RE DUE AT THE ARMORY. 300 00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:06,846 YOU'LL SPEAK, SHAKE SOME HANDS 301 00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:08,548 AND THEN WE'LL HEAD OVER TO THE ATHLETIC CLUB. 302 00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:10,517 YOU'RE BOOKED SOLID FOR THE NEXT WEEK. 303 00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:13,553 - EVERYBODY LOVES BATTLING BURKE. - YOU KNOW, I GOTTA SAY 304 00:14:13,586 --> 00:14:15,923 AT FIRST I WASN'T SO SURE, BUT THIS IS KINDA FUN. 305 00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:17,857 IT SAYS "EXPRESS LINE, 306 00:14:17,891 --> 00:14:19,559 EIGHT ITEMS OR LESS." 307 00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:21,561 YOU'VE GOT 15 THINGS HERE. 308 00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:23,830 I'M ALREADY HERE. WHAT'S THE BIG WHOOP? 309 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:27,034 IT'S PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT RUIN IT FOR EVERYBODY ELSE. 310 00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:31,471 ( scoffs ) HEY, IT'S MEL BURKE. 311 00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:32,940 BATTLIN' BURKE! 312 00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:34,607 - ( chuckles ) HEY. - ( all talking ) 313 00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:38,011 MEL, MEL, LOOK WHAT THIS GUY'S DOING. 314 00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:40,847 - IT'S INJUSTICE! - WELL, IT'S NOT EXACTLY INJUSTICE. 315 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,515 IT'S JUST MAYBE A LITTLE ANNOYING. 316 00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:44,918 COME ON, PUNCH HIM OUT LIKE IN THE VIDEO. 317 00:14:44,952 --> 00:14:47,520 - ( people talking ) - OKAY, COME ON, EVERYBODY. 318 00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:49,056 IS VIOLENCE REALLY THE WAY TO SOLVE THIS? 319 00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:51,524 - Woman: YEAH. YEAH, IT IS. - People: YEAH. 320 00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:54,561 - SIR, CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT THIS? - ( gasps ) 321 00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:57,530 ( laughs ) YOU DID IT. 322 00:14:57,564 --> 00:15:00,867 - JUSTICE! - ( crowd cheering ) 323 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,903 ANOTHER EVIL-DOER PUT IN HIS PLACE BY BATTLING BURKE! 324 00:15:03,937 --> 00:15:07,674 ( crowd cheers ) BURKE! BURKE! BURKE! BURKE! BURKE! 325 00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:13,446 REFILL YOUR ICE TEA THERE, HESTER? 326 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:14,914 FOURTH ONE'S THE CHARM. 327 00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:16,916 NO, I CAN'T DRINK ANYMORE. 328 00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:20,420 - WHERE'S YOUR BATHROOM? - TOP OF THE STAIRS TO THE LEFT. 329 00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:28,595 - CLEAR. - THAT TOOK A LOT MORE ICE TEA THAN I THOUGHT. 330 00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:30,597 I KNOW, SHE MUST HAVE A HUGE BLADDER. 331 00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:33,566 ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE WHAT'S IN HERE. HERE WE... UCK. 332 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,468 ALL RIGHT, WHAT DO WE GOT? 333 00:15:35,502 --> 00:15:37,504 WE GOT A SWEATER, BOOK, 334 00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:38,671 - SHRUNKEN HEAD... - YOU'RE KIDDING. 335 00:15:38,705 --> 00:15:40,607 YES, I AM. IT'S AN AVOCADO. 336 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,509 WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT... WHAT'S THIS? 337 00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:44,511 - OH, THAT LOOK FAMILIAR? - OH MY GOSH, 338 00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:46,980 - THAT'S MY NOTEBOOK. - SHOCKER. 339 00:15:47,014 --> 00:15:50,917 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - YOU STOLE MY NOTEBOOK. 340 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,453 - HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME? - I DON'T KNOW. 341 00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:54,954 YOU WERE OFFERING ME NUTS AND STUFF 342 00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:57,957 - AND SO I FIGURED... - THAT MY NOTEBOOK WAS UP FOR GRABS TOO? 343 00:15:57,991 --> 00:15:59,959 I GUESS, YEAH. 344 00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:03,630 SO AM I REALLY THE FIRST PERSON TO TELL YOU THAT STEALING IS WRONG? 345 00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:06,599 THE FIRST PERSON TO SPIT WHEN SHE SAID IT. 346 00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:09,636 OKAY, LET ME GIVE YOU THE WHOLE RUNDOWN OF HOW LIFE WORKS. 347 00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:12,005 DON'T STEAL. BE NICE TO PEOPLE. 348 00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:14,507 - SMILE EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE. - ALL RIGHT, EASY, GIRL. 349 00:16:14,541 --> 00:16:17,610 AND, YOU KNOW, THERE ARE OTHER FOODS IN THE WORLD BESIDES WALNUTS. 350 00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:19,612 RETURN KINDNESS WHEN KINDNESS IS OFFERED TO YOU, 351 00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,981 - AND I WAS FRICKING KIND TO YOU. - YOU'RE SPITTING AGAIN. 352 00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:24,651 I MEAN, SERIOUSLY, DIDN'T YOU EVER GO TO KINDERGARTEN? 353 00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:27,054 I THINK I SHOULD GO. YOUR NOTES WEREN'T EVEN THAT GOOD. 354 00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:29,989 OH! 355 00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:32,625 WELL, YOU KNOW HOW I SAID THAT WE'RE SO MUCH ALIKE? 356 00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:34,594 I WAS WRONG. YOU'RE NOTHING LIKE ME. 357 00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:36,029 I AM A SWEET, WONDERFUL PERSON 358 00:16:36,063 --> 00:16:38,665 WHO GIVES AND GIVES AND GIVES! 359 00:16:40,067 --> 00:16:43,536 - HOO! - COME BACK AND SEE US AGAIN, HESTER. 360 00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:49,076 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. AFTER EVERYTHING I DID FOR HER. 361 00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,679 YEAH. 362 00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:55,582 OH, THAT'S THE LOOK YOU GIVE AUNT MEL. 363 00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:58,051 THAT'S THE I-TOLD-YOU-SO LOOK. 364 00:16:58,085 --> 00:17:00,587 LENNOX, YOU ACTUALLY THINK I LIKE 365 00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:02,589 BEING RIGHT ALL THE TIME? 366 00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:05,692 WELL, I DO. 367 00:17:09,096 --> 00:17:11,698 SO I TAKE ONE STEP TOWARDS HIM AND HE TEARS OUT OF THE DOOR. 368 00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:13,600 AND EVERYBODY'S YELLING "BURKE HIM!" 369 00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:16,669 LOOK AT YOU, GIRL... YOU'RE A VERB. I LIKE IT. 370 00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:19,772 "OUT OF MY WAY, YOU DUMB BASTARD, OR I'LL BURKE YA." 371 00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:22,675 NOW THAT'S BRANDING. COME HERE. STAND OVER HERE. 372 00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:26,012 - OKAY. - HEY, HARPER, I'M SORRY I EVER QUESTIONED YOU. 373 00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,748 NOW YOU KNOW BETTER. OKAY, LET'S GET YOU RE-ELECTED. 374 00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:32,085 - NOW DO THIS. GIVE ME YOUR KILLER LOOK. - ( camera clicking ) 375 00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:34,787 MAYBE YOUR OTHER KILLER LOOK. 376 00:17:34,821 --> 00:17:37,590 MMM, MAYBE JUST SMILE. 377 00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:39,659 ( camera clicking ) 378 00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:41,794 HEY, AWESOME DAY, BEST DAY EVER. 379 00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:43,763 RYDER! OH MY GOSH, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR LIP? 380 00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:46,533 SO DONNIE KEATON AMBUSHES ME AFTER 4th PERIOD... 381 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:49,602 - THAT'S TERRIBLE. - AND, JOE, JOE, YOUR STRATEGY WORKED. 382 00:17:49,636 --> 00:17:51,671 DONNIE PUNCHED AND PUNCHED, AND I DUCKED AND DODGED 383 00:17:51,704 --> 00:17:54,574 AND WAITED FOR MY OPENING AND THEN... ( grunts ) I BURKED HIM. 384 00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:56,743 - YES. - YOU BURKED HIM? 385 00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:58,778 SEE? IT'S CATCHING ON. 386 00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:01,781 I'M MAKING T-SHIRTS, GETTING MY GRAPHICS GUY ON IT RIGHT NOW. 387 00:18:01,814 --> 00:18:04,617 WAY TO GO, BUDDY. I GOTTA CALL MY MOM AND LET HER KNOW, 388 00:18:04,651 --> 00:18:08,688 'CAUSE IT'S HER MOVE. WELL, HERS AND, UM, MUHAMMAD ALI'S. 389 00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:10,557 WHOA WHOA, YOU FOUGHT HIM? 390 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,592 YOU KNOW, THAT'S NOT THE WAY YOU SETTLE A DISAGREEMENT. 391 00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:14,827 OH, STOP IT, BURKE. YOU'RE PROUD AS HELL. YOU KNOW HOW I KNOW THAT? 392 00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:17,597 BECAUSE I'M PROUD AND YOU ARE JUST LIKE ME. 393 00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:19,699 - I AM NOTHING LIKE YOU. - SURE YOU ARE. 394 00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:21,801 YOU PRETEND TO BE ALL CIVILIZED, BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY 395 00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:24,137 WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE, YOU SHOVE. 396 00:18:24,171 --> 00:18:26,806 ( knocks ) IS THIS RYDER SCANLON'S HOUSE? 397 00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:28,708 WHO'S ASKING? 398 00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:31,144 WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THE THUG THAT BEAT UP MY SON DONNY? 399 00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:34,647 THE PERSON WEARING THE BOXING GLOVES. 400 00:18:34,681 --> 00:18:36,816 LOOK, I'M NOT LOOKING FOR A FIGHT. 401 00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:38,785 HOW WOULD YOU LIKE A LITTLE TASTE OF WHAT MY SON GOT TODAY? 402 00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:40,086 WHOA WHOA, LADY, LADY. 403 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,121 LET'S JUST ALL BE CIVILIZED HERE, OKAY? 404 00:18:42,155 --> 00:18:44,691 ( chuckles ) PUT THESE ON. 405 00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:48,728 NO NO NO NO. YOU KNOW WHAT? NO MORE FIGHTING. 406 00:18:48,761 --> 00:18:51,164 WE ARE DONE BEHAVING LIKE ANIMALS. 407 00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:54,734 RYDER, WHAT I DID IN THE MOVIE THEATER WAS WRONG, 408 00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:56,836 WHAT YOU DID TO DONNIE WAS WRONG 409 00:18:56,869 --> 00:18:59,839 AND WHAT DONNIE DID TO RYDER WAS WRONG. 410 00:18:59,872 --> 00:19:01,874 WHAT KIND OF MESSAGE ARE WE SENDING OUR KIDS? 411 00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:03,843 I DON'T KNOW... THAT ONE? 412 00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:09,148 YEAH, WELL, MEL BURKE IS REBRANDING. 413 00:19:09,182 --> 00:19:11,718 I AM TAKING OFF THE GLOVES, NOW AND FOREVER. 414 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,888 MAYBE NOT RIGHT NOW, BUT AS SOON AS I FIND A SAW. 415 00:19:15,922 --> 00:19:18,157 OKAY, LOOK, HERE'S WHAT I THINK WE SHOULD DO... 416 00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:19,792 I'M GONNA SPEND SOME TIME WITH MY NEPHEW, 417 00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,828 I THINK YOU SHOULD GO HOME AND LOOK AFTER YOUR SON. 418 00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:25,698 YEAH, MAYBE THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. 419 00:19:25,732 --> 00:19:27,767 I WILL. 420 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,203 I THINK WE'RE BOTH SORRY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED HERE. 421 00:19:30,237 --> 00:19:32,705 YOU LOOK FAMILIAR. 422 00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:34,874 ARE YOU THAT WEATHER GIRL ON CHANNEL 5? 423 00:19:36,243 --> 00:19:37,777 I AM. 424 00:19:40,947 --> 00:19:42,815 SMART MOVE NOT FIGHTING HER, BURKE. 425 00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:44,917 I DON'T THINK YOU WERE QUITE IN HER WEIGHT CLASS. 426 00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:48,221 RYDER, GO PUT SOME ICE ON THAT. I'LL BE IN THE KITCHEN IN A MINUTE. 427 00:19:48,255 --> 00:19:51,224 I HOPE IT LEAVES A SCAR. CHICKS DIG SCARS. 428 00:19:51,258 --> 00:19:53,226 YEAH, THEY DO. 429 00:19:53,260 --> 00:19:56,729 HEY, IT'S TIME TO RETIRE BATTLING BURKE. 430 00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:57,897 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, BUT BEFORE WE DO THAT... 431 00:19:57,930 --> 00:19:59,866 A MOMENT AGO WHEN SHE WAS SHOVING YOU, 432 00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:02,735 THERE WASN'T SOMETHING DEEP DOWN INSIDE WHERE YOU JUST WANTED TO POP HER BACK? 433 00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:04,804 NO, NOT POP HER. 434 00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:08,875 - BITCH SLAP HER. - SEE, THAT WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. 435 00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:10,877 EVERYBODY'S GOT AN AGGRESSIVE STREAK. IT'S JUST HOW YOU CHANNEL IT. 436 00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:12,845 IT'S HOW YOU WORK IT OUT. TELL YOU WHAT... 437 00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:14,914 LET'S WORK A LITTLE OF YOUR AGGRESSION OUT RIGHT HERE, OKAY? 438 00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:17,917 GIMME A GOOD ONE. COME ON. NICE NICE NICE NICE. 439 00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:20,820 OKAY, NOW... WAIT WAIT. TRY TO POP ME RIGHT HERE. ( clicks tongue ) 440 00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:22,955 - I DON'T WANNA. - COME ON, YOU CAN DO IT. LET'S GO. COME ON. 441 00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:25,292 LET'S GO. COME ON. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 442 00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:29,829 THIS IS STUPID. I'VE GOT NO MORE FIGHT LEFT. 443 00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:31,831 - I GIVE UP. - ( chuckles ) OKAY. 444 00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:34,934 - ( grunts ) - ( laughs ) 445 00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:36,836 ♪ HA! YOU GOT BURKED. 446 00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:49,215 SO YOU'RE FLYING SOLO TODAY, HUH? 447 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:53,219 WHERE'S YOUR SWEET, PSYCHOTIC FRIEND? 448 00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:54,554 WHAT, SHE GO BACK TO THE MOTHER SHIP? 449 00:20:56,556 --> 00:20:59,258 HESTER HAS ACTUALLY CLEANED UP HER ACT. 450 00:20:59,292 --> 00:21:01,328 SHE SAYS HELLO TO PEOPLE AT LUNCH. 451 00:21:01,361 --> 00:21:04,364 SHE SMILES ONCE IN A WHILE. SHE'S EVEN TRYING OTHER NUTS. 452 00:21:06,399 --> 00:21:10,236 WOW, SO YOU BERATED HER INTO BEING A BETTER PERSON. 453 00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:13,406 I DID. ( laughs ) JUST LIKE I SAID I WOULD. 454 00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:16,343 OH JEEZ, I KNOW THAT LOOK. 455 00:21:16,376 --> 00:21:18,311 THAT'S THE LOOK I GET FROM YOUR AUNT ALL THE TIME 456 00:21:18,345 --> 00:21:20,547 WHEN SHE THINKS SHE'S BEEN RIGHT ALL ALONG. 457 00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:24,451 - AND YOU DON'T LIKE THAT LOOK? - NO NO, I'M KINDA USED TO IT.