1 00:00:07,541 --> 00:00:10,178 "MELISSA & JOEY" IS RECORDED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE. 2 00:00:10,211 --> 00:00:13,181 WELL, I'M OFF. WATCH THE KIDS, FEED THE KIDS, 3 00:00:13,214 --> 00:00:15,015 TRY NOT TO KILL THE KIDS. 4 00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:16,684 GOT IT. WAIT... WHAT WAS THAT LAST ONE? 5 00:00:18,386 --> 00:00:20,188 WOW, LOOK AT THAT OUTFIT. 6 00:00:20,221 --> 00:00:22,323 NEVER SEEN THAT BEFORE, HUH? WHERE ARE YOU OFF TO... 7 00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:24,358 A NIGHT OUT ON THE TOWN WITH YOUR SISTER WIVES? 8 00:00:24,392 --> 00:00:26,594 NO, I'M GOING OUT WITH DONALD. 9 00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:29,163 YEAH? WHERE'S HE'S TAKING YOU, A BARN RAISING? 10 00:00:29,197 --> 00:00:31,699 YOU GOING TO CHURN A LITTLE BUTTER? 11 00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:34,702 NO ONE'S BUTTER IS GETTING CHURNED. IT'S OVER WITH DONALD. 12 00:00:34,735 --> 00:00:37,571 OH, I SEE. SO THAT'S YOUR DUMPING OUTFIT. 13 00:00:37,605 --> 00:00:39,540 YEP, THIS IS DEFENSIVE DRESSING. 14 00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:41,209 YOU DON'T BRING OUT THE SNACK TRAY 15 00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:43,244 UNLESS YOU'RE GOING TO BE SERVING DINNER. 16 00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:44,645 I DON'T WANT TO GET THE GUY'S HOPES UP. 17 00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:48,249 I DON'T THINK YOU'D TURN ON A PILGRIM IN THAT OUTFIT. 18 00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:51,051 SO WHY IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH DONALD COMING TO SUCH A HASTY END? 19 00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:53,754 WE NEVER REALLY CLICKED. DONALD'S A GOOD GUY AND EVERYTHING, 20 00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:55,723 BUT I JUST WASN'T FEELING IT. 21 00:00:55,756 --> 00:00:59,727 NOR DO I INTEND TO FEEL IT, WHICH MAKES IT A LOT EASIER TO GIVE HIM THE HEAVE-HO. 22 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:01,695 I'M CURIOUS... WHEN YOU BREAK UP WITH A GUY, 23 00:01:01,729 --> 00:01:03,531 DO YOU GO IN WITH A SCRIPT OR DO YOU JUST WING IT? 24 00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:06,767 NO, TIGHTLY SCRIPTED. THE GOAL IS TO BE BRIEF AND MERCIFUL. 25 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:10,271 - PROFESSIONAL. - SO LIKE A MOB HIT. 26 00:01:10,304 --> 00:01:12,740 EXACTLY. IT'S THE LEAST I CAN DO. THE GUY IS TAKING ME TO DINNER. 27 00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:15,543 WAIT A MINUTE... YOU'RE WHACKING THE GUY AND YOU'RE STILL GOING TO EAT? 28 00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:18,646 I'M NOT COMPLETELY HEARTLESS! I'LL TAKE IT TO-GO. 29 00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:21,349 ANYTHING THAT TRAVELS WELL: 30 00:01:21,382 --> 00:01:24,818 RISOTTO, PASTA, COBB SALAD... DRESSING ON THE SIDE. 31 00:01:24,852 --> 00:01:26,654 WAIT A MINUTE. YOU KNOW WHAT? I ACTUALLY 32 00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:29,790 STILL SEE A LITTLE BIT OF SKIN HERE. HOLD ON A MINUTE. 33 00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:31,492 LET ME JUST... 34 00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:36,664 THERE YOU GO! 35 00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:38,499 I WOULD BREAK UP WITH YOU SO HARD. 36 00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:40,067 OH! 37 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,136 ( theme music playing ) 38 00:01:42,170 --> 00:01:44,638 ♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK ♪ 39 00:01:44,672 --> 00:01:47,107 ♪ WITH ME ♪ 40 00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:53,514 DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE HAVING? 41 00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:56,517 I CAN'T ORDER UNLESS I KNOW WHAT THE OTHER PERSON'S HAVING. 42 00:01:56,550 --> 00:01:59,653 OH, UH, WELL, THE HALIBUT LOOKS GOOD. 43 00:01:59,687 --> 00:02:01,689 OOH, BUT IT DOESN'T TRAVEL WELL. 44 00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:04,825 FROM THE KITCHEN TO THE TABLE. LOOK HOW FAR AWAY THAT IS. 45 00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:08,162 - GOOD EVENING, ARE YOU READY TO... - RISOTTO! 46 00:02:08,196 --> 00:02:10,798 - DONALD? - UH, I DON'T KNOW. 47 00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:12,700 UM, I GUESS I'LL HAVE THAT TOO. 48 00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:15,336 NO! 49 00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:18,239 - WELL, YEAH OKAY. - VERY GOOD. 50 00:02:18,272 --> 00:02:20,841 MAY I INTEREST YOU IN A CHOCOLATE SOUFFLE FOR DESSERT? 51 00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:23,177 - I LOVE SOUFFLE. - WE ASK YOU TO ORDER IT NOW, 52 00:02:23,211 --> 00:02:25,413 - AS IT TAKES 40 MINUTES TO PREPARE. - OOH, 40? 53 00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:27,781 YEAH, THERE'S NO WAY I'LL STILL BE... HEE HEE... 54 00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:30,518 HUNGRY. 55 00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:33,287 SO, DONALD, 56 00:02:33,321 --> 00:02:35,155 THERE'S SOMETHING I NEED TO TELL YOU. 57 00:02:35,189 --> 00:02:37,191 OKAY, BUT THERE'S SOMETHING I NEED TO TELL YOU FIRST. 58 00:02:37,225 --> 00:02:40,328 GOOD IDEA. MINE MIGHT BE KINDA TOUGH TO FOLLOW. 59 00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:42,296 I WAS FIRED THIS MORNING. 60 00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:45,466 10 YEARS OF LOYAL SERVICE AND THEY KICK ME TO THE CURB. 61 00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,501 OH WOW, I'M SORRY. 62 00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:50,304 WHEN ONE DOOR CLOSES, ANOTHER ONE OPENS. 63 00:02:50,338 --> 00:02:52,773 AND THEN ANOTHER ONE CLOSES. 64 00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:54,908 THIS HAS BEEN ONE OF THE WORST DAYS EVER. 65 00:02:54,942 --> 00:02:57,845 I ALMOST CANCELED OUR DATE TONIGHT, BUT THEN I REALIZED 66 00:02:57,878 --> 00:03:00,314 I'VE STILL GOT ONE GOOD THING LEFT IN MY LIFE. 67 00:03:00,348 --> 00:03:02,516 OH, WHAT'S THAT? 68 00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:04,652 OH, ME?! 69 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,854 I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'D DO WITHOUT YOU, MEL. 70 00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:08,922 YOUR SMILE IS LIKE SUNLIGHT 71 00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:11,759 BREAKING THROUGH THE CLOUDS OF MY DESPAIR. 72 00:03:13,494 --> 00:03:15,496 SO WHAT WAS IT YOU WANTED TO TELL ME? 73 00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:19,800 I CAN'T BREAK UP WITH HIM NOW. HE'S GOT THE CONFIDENCE OF PUDDING. 74 00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:21,769 I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL HE GETS BACK ON HIS FEET, 75 00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:24,838 - FINDS ANOTHER JOB. - FINDS ANOTHER JOB IN THIS ECONOMY? 76 00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:29,443 - I HOPE YOU LIKE PUDDING. - NO, I LIKE A MAN I CAN CHEW. 77 00:03:29,477 --> 00:03:33,414 - WE'VE GOT TO FIND HIM ANOTHER JOB. - I'M SORRY... "WE"? 78 00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:36,216 YOU'RE RIGHT... YOU! YOU'VE GOT TO FIND HIM ANOTHER JOB. 79 00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:38,852 C'MON, I'VE HEARD YOU BRAG ABOUT ALL THE EXECUTIVES YOU HIRED 80 00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:41,489 BACK WHEN YOU RAN AMERICA. YOU CAN DO THIS. 81 00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:44,258 OKAY, NOW I KNOW YOU'RE DESPERATE BECAUSE YOU'RE FLATTERING ME. 82 00:03:44,292 --> 00:03:47,695 WITH THE TRUTH! YOU KNOW WHAT EXECUTIVES ARE LOOKING FOR. 83 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:50,898 DONALD'S BEEN IN THE SAME JOB FOREVER. HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO SELL HIMSELF. 84 00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:55,235 BUT YOU ARE JOE LONGO, THE ZEN MASTER OF BUSINESS. 85 00:03:55,269 --> 00:03:57,237 YOU KNOW, YOU'RE NOT THE FIRST PERSON TO SAY THAT. 86 00:03:57,271 --> 00:03:59,440 I KNOW. I'VE HEARD YOU SAY IT. 87 00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:02,376 - SO YOU'LL DO IT? - YES. 88 00:04:02,410 --> 00:04:03,977 GREATNESS CALLS. 89 00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:06,347 THANK YOU! OH, BUT YOU'VE GOT TO DO IT QUICK, 90 00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:08,582 BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO EXTEND MYSELF IN OTHER AREAS 91 00:04:08,616 --> 00:04:10,884 TO KEEP THIS RELATIONSHIP GOING, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 92 00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:12,686 MY CHARITY ONLY GOES SO FAR. 93 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:14,788 - I DON'T WANT TO LAY IT ALL OUT... - I GET IT! 94 00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:19,593 ( doorbell rings ) 95 00:04:19,627 --> 00:04:21,529 HELLO, LENNOX. 96 00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:23,230 HEY, HOLLY, LET ME GET RYDER FOR YOU. 97 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,833 ACTUALLY I'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO YOU... 98 00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:28,469 - IN PRIVATE. - UH... 99 00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:30,838 OKAY, LET'S DO IT OUTSIDE WHERE THERE'S DAYLIGHT... 100 00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:32,940 AND WITNESSES. 101 00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:38,946 THIS PAST SATURDAY I ATTENDED DENNIS KITSON'S BIRTHDAY PARTY. 102 00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:42,516 WHILE AT SAID PARTY A MOST TERRIBLE THING HAPPENED. 103 00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:45,018 SOMEONE COULDN'T GET TO THE POINT? 104 00:04:45,052 --> 00:04:47,621 I ACCIDENTALLY KISSED A BOY WHO WASN'T RYDER. 105 00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:50,991 ACCIDENTALLY? WHAT, YOU TRIPPED AND YOUR TONGUE FELL IN HIS MOUTH? 106 00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:54,928 HOW EXACTLY DID THIS MISHAP OCCUR? 107 00:04:54,962 --> 00:05:00,000 WELL, AT THE PARTY, I WAS COMPLAINING ABOUT A VERY UNSIGHTLY PIMPLE 108 00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:03,571 WHICH HAD COME TO DOMINATE MY LIFE. AND MY FOREHEAD. 109 00:05:03,604 --> 00:05:06,273 TIM LOGAN HEARD ME COMPLAINING ABOUT IT 110 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,576 AND SAID, "YO, I DON'T SEE ANY ZIT." 111 00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:10,978 THAT "YO" WAS SUCH A CONFIDENCE-BOOSTER 112 00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:13,614 THAT THE NEXT THING I KNEW, OUR LIPS WERE ENTWINED. 113 00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:17,317 BUT RYDER IS YOUR BOYFRIEND! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO MY LITTLE BROTHER? 114 00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:19,353 I KNOW, I KNOW, I FEEL AWFUL. 115 00:05:19,387 --> 00:05:22,289 I CAME TO YOU BECAUSE YOU KNOW HIM BEST. 116 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,692 - WHAT SHOULD I DO? - YOU HAVE TO TELL RYDER. 117 00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:27,060 DARN. I WAS HOPING YOU'D SAY, 118 00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:30,063 "WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES, JUST MOVE ON." 119 00:05:30,097 --> 00:05:31,632 IF YOU DON'T TELL HIM, I WILL. 120 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,000 NO NO NO, PLEASE DON'T, DON'T. 121 00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:36,370 LOOK, I'LL DO IT, I SWEAR. 122 00:05:36,404 --> 00:05:39,006 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, I WON'T SAY ANYTHING, 123 00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:40,808 BUT DON'T MAKE ME REGRET THIS. 124 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:43,711 OH, LENNOX, YOU'RE A TRUE FRIEND. 125 00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:45,479 OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH. 126 00:05:45,513 --> 00:05:48,348 I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LIKE TO ACCIDENTALLY MAKE OUT WITH PEOPLE. 127 00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:54,388 OKAY, SO YOUR RESUME'S LOOKING A LOT BETTER, 128 00:05:54,422 --> 00:05:57,090 BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS HOW YOU'RE GOING TO PERFORM IN THE JOB INTERVIEW. 129 00:05:57,124 --> 00:06:00,027 SO LET'S SAY THE GUY ASKS YOU WHAT YOUR GREATEST STRENGTH IS. 130 00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:02,830 - WHAT DO YOU SAY? - I DON'T KNOW... 131 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:05,499 - LOYALTY? - ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S YOUR GREATEST WEAKNESS? 132 00:06:05,533 --> 00:06:07,735 I HAVE A TINY BLADDER. 133 00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:11,104 HERE'S A TIP: DON'T EVER USE THE WORD "BLADDER" 134 00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:12,973 IN A JOB INTERVIEW. 135 00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:16,043 OH GOD, NO ONE'S GONNA WANT TO HIRE ME. 136 00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:18,512 COME ON, MAN. YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CONFIDENCE. 137 00:06:18,546 --> 00:06:21,482 YOU GOTTA MAKE 'EM WANT YOU. YOU DON'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. 138 00:06:21,515 --> 00:06:25,519 EXCUSE ME. CAN I BORROW YOUR NEWSPAPER FOR A SEC? 139 00:06:25,553 --> 00:06:28,722 SURE. I'M ONLY LOOKING AT THE WANT ADS ANYWAY. I'M UNEMPLOYED. 140 00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:31,725 - HERE YOU GO. - WAIT WAIT WAIT. 141 00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:34,595 ACTUALLY I'M NOT SURE IF WE WANT TO PART WITH THIS NEWSPAPER HERE. 142 00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:36,597 PLEASE? THERE ISN'T ANY WIFI IN HERE 143 00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:39,433 AND I REALLY WANT TO CHECK OUT THE MOVIE TIMES FOR "SLAUGHTERHOUSE." 144 00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:41,368 "SLAUGHTERHOUSE"? THAT'S A PRETTY SCARY MOVIE. 145 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,770 YOU GOING TO GO SEE THAT WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND? 146 00:06:42,803 --> 00:06:45,506 NO BOYFRIEND, JUST ME. 147 00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:48,642 OH, I'M SORRY. I DON'T THINK I CAN LET YOU DO THAT. 148 00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:51,545 I CAN'T LET YOU GO SEE THIS SCARY MOVIE ALL BY YOURSELF. 149 00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:54,948 WHAT DO YOU SAY I MEET YOU AT THE ORPHEUM TONIGHT? 150 00:06:54,982 --> 00:06:57,451 WOW, SOMEONE'S PRETTY SURE OF THEMSELVES. 151 00:06:57,485 --> 00:07:00,854 YEAH, THAT WOULD BE ME. ( laughs ) 152 00:07:00,888 --> 00:07:03,090 OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT AT 8:00. 153 00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:05,493 - OKAY. - ( both laugh ) 154 00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:09,797 HUH. THINK SHE'LL REALLY SHOW UP? 155 00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:12,900 YEAH, MAN, SHE'S GONNA SHOW UP. 156 00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:16,069 SEE, WHAT YOU JUST WITNESSED THERE, DONALD, WAS A LESSON IN CONFIDENCE. 157 00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:18,071 ALL RIGHT? I DIDN'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. 158 00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:21,809 MATTER OF FACT, I JUST SOLD HER SOMETHING SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT SHE WANTED. 159 00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:25,045 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT WAS? 100% JOE LONGO. 160 00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:27,114 WHAT ARE YOU SELLING, DONALD? 161 00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:31,885 ALL THIS? 162 00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:38,959 - REALLY GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO. - YEAH. 163 00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:45,065 THAT SMELLS GOOD. WHAT IS THAT? 164 00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:47,134 IT'S MY FAMOUS BUTTERNUT SQUASH RAVIOLI. 165 00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:49,570 OH? IS IT REALLY FAMOUS, JOE? 166 00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:52,940 IS IT DATING A SUPERMODEL? DID IT BEAT UP PAPARAZZI? 167 00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:55,543 WAS IT ON "DANCING WITH THE STARS"? 168 00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:57,711 FINISHED HIGHER THAN YOU DID. 169 00:07:57,745 --> 00:07:59,212 ( knocks ) 170 00:08:00,781 --> 00:08:03,050 HEY, IT'S DONALD. 171 00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:05,018 WHAT? DON'T OPEN IT. 172 00:08:05,052 --> 00:08:07,087 HE... HE SEES ME. 173 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:10,824 - WHY IS HE HERE? - IF ONLY THERE WAS A WAY WE COULD FIND OUT. 174 00:08:12,593 --> 00:08:14,094 HEY, DONALD, WHAT'S UP, BUDDY? 175 00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:16,830 YES, WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE SO DELIGHTFULLY UNANNOUNCED? 176 00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:19,066 I WANTED TO TELL YOU I JUST HAD AN INTERVIEW 177 00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:21,969 WITH HARTMAN-GLASSBERG AND IT WENT GREAT. 178 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,905 REALLY? SO YOU MIGHT BE EMPLOYED SOON? 'CAUSE THAT WOULD BE AWESOME. 179 00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:27,941 - NO, DIDN'T GET THE JOB. - AW. I THOUGHT YOU SAID IT WENT GREAT. 180 00:08:27,975 --> 00:08:30,944 IT DID. I MADE IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH THE INTERVIEW WITHOUT GETTING SICK. 181 00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:33,814 - GOOD FOR YOU! - UNTIL JUST NOW IN YOUR DRIVEWAY. 182 00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:37,150 DONALD, REMEMBER HOW WE TALKED ABOUT NOT OVER-SHARING? 183 00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:39,987 - KEEPING A LITTLE MYSTERY? - RIGHT RIGHT. 184 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:43,591 I DIDN'T SAY WHERE IN THE DRIVEWAY. 185 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:47,127 THE SESSIONS WITH YOU ARE HELPING SO MUCH, JOE. 186 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:50,497 EVEN THOUGH I GOT SHOT DOWN FOR THE JOB, I STILL HAD THE CONFIDENCE TO COME OVER HERE 187 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,800 AND SAY, "HEY, MEL BURKE, 188 00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:55,002 YOU AND I ARE HAVING DINNER TONIGHT." 189 00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:57,004 OH, SORRY, DONALD. 190 00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:59,940 YOU KNOW, JOE MADE HIS FAMOUS... UH... 191 00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:01,975 ORANGE LUMPS. 192 00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:04,778 SORRY, PRETTY LADY, BUT I WILL NOT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. 193 00:09:04,812 --> 00:09:06,246 ( chuckles ) NO. 194 00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:09,650 - ( brightly ) OKAY! - HEY, DON'T BACK DOWN. 195 00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:11,218 ( clears throat ) CAN I CALL YOU LATER? 196 00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:14,788 - DON'T USE QUESTIONS. - I'M CALLING YOU LATER. 197 00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:18,592 BUT RIGHT NOW I HAVE TO... Y'KNOW, 198 00:09:18,626 --> 00:09:20,093 USE THE RESTROOM. 199 00:09:20,127 --> 00:09:22,930 FOR SOMETHING REALLY MYSTERIOUS. 200 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,200 WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TEACHING HIM? 201 00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:29,302 YOU MIGHT NOT WANT TO TOUR THE FACTORY, BUT I PROMISE YOU 202 00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:31,872 WHEN THE PRODUCT HITS THE SHELVES, YOU'RE GONNA BE IMPRESSED. 203 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:35,142 WHEN WILL THAT BE? I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER I CAN KEEP PITY-DATING HIM. 204 00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:38,078 - HE'S GETTING HANDSY. - LOOK, I'LL BUMP HIM UP TO FIVE SESSIONS A WEEK. 205 00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:40,113 NEXT WEEK HE HAS TWO MORE OF THOSE INTERVIEWS AND I THINK 206 00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:41,982 ONE OF THOSE IS GOING TO COME THROUGH, 207 00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:45,953 AND THEN YOU WILL BE ABLE TO BREAK THAT POOR SUCKER'S HEART GUILT-FREE. 208 00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:48,121 - I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT. - YEAH YOU DO. 209 00:09:49,623 --> 00:09:51,959 BOY, IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I'VE SEEN YOU. 210 00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:53,794 HAS IT? IT'S ONLY BEEN FIVE SESSIONS. 211 00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:55,996 I MEAN A... A WEEK. 212 00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:58,165 SO JOE SAYS THAT YOU'VE HAD SOME INTERVIEWS 213 00:09:58,198 --> 00:09:59,900 AND YOU MIGHT HAVE A JOB OFFER? 214 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,235 - I WOULDN'T SAY THAT. - OH. 215 00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:06,139 - I GOT TWO JOB OFFERS. - OH, THANK GOD! THAT'S GREAT NEWS. 216 00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:09,209 I MEAN FOR YOU TOO. UH... FOR YOU MAINLY! 217 00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:12,179 SUDDENLY I AM IN DEMAND. I'M A WHOLE NEW DONALD. 218 00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:14,147 MY LIFE IS STARTING A NEW CHAPTER. 219 00:10:14,181 --> 00:10:16,283 SPEAKING OF NEW CHAPTERS AND FRESH STARTS, 220 00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:18,218 I THINK WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT US. 221 00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:20,253 UM, LOOK, IN EVERY RELATIONSHIP, THERE COMES A TIME... 222 00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:23,190 - ARE YOU FOLKS READY TO ORDER? - OH YES. 223 00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:25,959 I DON'T SEE IT HERE, BUT I'D LOVE THE STEAK SANDWICH. 224 00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:28,161 I'M SORRY, WE ONLY SERVE THE STEAK SANDWICH AT LUNCH. 225 00:10:28,195 --> 00:10:30,230 OHHH, THAT'S TOO BAD. 226 00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:32,199 IT'S JUST SO EASY TO EAT WHILE YOU'RE DRIVING... 227 00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:34,702 TO DESSERT-TOWN. 228 00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:36,937 DO ME A FAVOR: COULD YOU SEND THE MANAGER OVER? 229 00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:39,006 - THANK YOU. - OH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT. 230 00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:41,174 - MEL, I GOT THIS. - NO, IT'S OKAY, I'LL JUST SETTLE FOR SOMETHING ELSE. 231 00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:44,644 I DON'T THINK A WOMAN LIKE YOU SHOULD EVER SETTLE FOR ANYTHING. 232 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:48,215 GOOD EVENING. MAY I HELP YOU? 233 00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:50,250 I HOPE SO. ( clears throat ) 234 00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:53,253 MY DINNER COMPANION HAS HER HEART SET ON YOUR STEAK SANDWICH. 235 00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:56,623 - AND I WOULD LIKE FOR HER TO HAVE IT. - I'M SORRY, SIR, 236 00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:59,693 - THAT'S A LUNCH ITEM. - I UNDERSTAND IT USUALLY IS. 237 00:10:59,727 --> 00:11:02,195 BUT YOU HAVE THE STEAK, YOU HAVE THE BREAD. 238 00:11:02,229 --> 00:11:04,865 I'M SURE THE TECHNOLOGY EXISTS TO... 239 00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:07,968 SO COULD YOU MAKE THAT HAPPEN 240 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,237 AS A PERSONAL FAVOR FOR THE LOVELY LADY AND ME? 241 00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:12,205 I BELIEVE I CAN MAKE THAT WORK, SIR. 242 00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:14,875 ALL RIGHT, I KNEW YOU WERE THE MAN FOR THE JOB. 243 00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:18,946 WOW, THAT WAS AMAZING THE WAY YOU MIND-CONTROLLED HIM. 244 00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:20,914 YOU'RE LIKE THE STEAK SANDWICH JEDI. 245 00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:23,383 MEL, THE KEY TO GETTING WHAT YOU WANT 246 00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:27,220 IS NEVER TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. 247 00:11:27,254 --> 00:11:30,257 SO WHAT WAS IT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY ABOUT FRESH STARTS? 248 00:11:31,892 --> 00:11:34,461 I THINK WE OUGHT TO HAVE ONE RIGHT NOW. 249 00:11:45,338 --> 00:11:49,209 - JOE, I NEED YOUR HELP. - YEAH, I GET THAT A LOT. 250 00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:52,312 - HOLLY CHEATED ON RYDER. - WOW, WHAT DID SHE DO... 251 00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:55,082 SHE WHIP SOME OTHER BOY BEHIND HIS BACK? 252 00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:57,250 NO, SHE MADE OUT WITH ANOTHER GUY AT A PARTY. 253 00:11:57,284 --> 00:12:00,253 AND SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO FESS UP LIKE A WEEK AGO BUT SHE HASN'T DONE IT YET 254 00:12:00,287 --> 00:12:02,089 AND SOMEONE NEEDS TO TELL RYDER THE TRUTH. 255 00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:04,191 WELL, YEAH. WHY AREN'T YOU THAT SOMEONE? 256 00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:08,796 PLEASE? I DON'T HAVE THE HEART. 257 00:12:08,829 --> 00:12:10,463 AND YOU'RE SO GOOD AT EVERYTHING. 258 00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:13,233 ONLY EVERYTHING I'VE EVER TRIED. 259 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,936 ALL RIGHT, FINE. 260 00:12:17,304 --> 00:12:20,107 HEY, BUDDY. SO JUST MAKING A LITTLE IDLE CHIT-CHAT HERE. 261 00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:21,775 HOW ARE THINGS GOING WITH YOU AND HOLLY? 262 00:12:21,809 --> 00:12:24,211 - GREAT. COULDN'T BE BETTER. - IS THAT RIGHT? 263 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,313 YEAH, I MEAN, IN THE PAST 264 00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:28,748 SHE MAY HAVE BEEN A TAD BIT CONTROLLING... 265 00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:31,919 YOU DO KNOW WHAT "A TAD" IS, RIGHT? 266 00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:34,354 YEAH, A BABY FROG. 267 00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:36,289 ANYWAY... 268 00:12:38,325 --> 00:12:42,195 YESTERDAY SHE LET ME BLOW MY NOSE IN FRONT OF HER. 269 00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:44,464 THAT'S A BIG STEP FOR YOU GUYS. 270 00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:47,868 - SO YOU'RE HAPPY? - COULDN'T BE HAPPIER. 271 00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:51,471 OH, ALL RIGHT. WELL, IT'S GOOD, IT'S GOOD. 272 00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:53,306 I CAN'T DO IT. I CAN'T DO IT. 273 00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:55,508 HE'S IN A HAPPY RELATIONSHIP. YOU KNOW HOW RARE THAT IS? 274 00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:58,145 YOU HAVE TO. HE NEEDS TO KNOW. 275 00:12:58,178 --> 00:13:01,781 I MEAN, JUST LOOK AT HIM! SAD AND CLUELESS, 276 00:13:01,815 --> 00:13:04,751 - DRINKING HIS MILK. - AHHHH. 277 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:07,254 ( mouths word ) 278 00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:11,959 HEY, RYDER, SO, UM, 279 00:13:11,992 --> 00:13:14,928 YOU KNOW... SOMETIMES, YOU KNOW, 280 00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:16,897 WHEN YOU'RE GOING OUT WITH A GIRL, 281 00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:19,166 YOU... YOU THINK THAT SHE'S ONE WAY, 282 00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:22,836 BUT IN ALL ACTUALITY, SHE'S REALLY ANOTHER. 283 00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:24,471 JOE, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? 284 00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:26,373 HOLLY CHEATED ON YOU, BUD. 285 00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:30,377 OH YEAH, I KNOW. SHE MADE OUT WITH TIM LOGAN AT THAT PARTY. 286 00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:34,882 - WAIT, YOU KNEW? - HOW CLUELESS DO YOU THINK I AM? 287 00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:39,086 - WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL HOLLY THAT YOU KNEW? - WHY WOULD I? 288 00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:40,854 IT'S BEEN THE BEST TWO WEEKS OF MY LIFE. 289 00:13:40,888 --> 00:13:44,824 TOMORROW, SHE'S BAKING ME A PIE. I LOVE PIE. 290 00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:48,228 - AREN'T YOU UPSET? - I WAS AT FIRST. 291 00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:50,463 BUT THEN SHE STARTED ACTING SO SWEET. 292 00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:52,565 IT'S OBVIOUS THAT SHE FEELS BAD ABOUT WHAT SHE DID. 293 00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:54,367 WHY MAKE HER FEEL WORSE? 294 00:13:54,401 --> 00:13:56,403 SO YOU'RE JUST GOING TO LET HER SUFFER WITH HER OWN GUILT? 295 00:13:56,436 --> 00:13:59,406 IT'S PIE, MAN. 296 00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:02,876 BOYSENBERRY. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT EXISTED! 297 00:14:04,311 --> 00:14:06,513 LOOK, IF YOU'RE LUCKY ENOUGH TO FIND SOMEONE GREAT, 298 00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:08,348 YOU DO WHAT YOU CAN TO HOLD ON TO THEM. 299 00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:10,483 YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT ABOUT THAT, RYDER. 300 00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:12,419 PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS THROWING AWAY THEIR RELATIONSHIPS, 301 00:14:12,452 --> 00:14:13,921 BUT I SAY YOU'VE GOTTA WORK ON IT. 302 00:14:13,954 --> 00:14:16,389 I'M PRETTY SURE I'VE NEVER HEARD YOU SAY THAT. 303 00:14:16,423 --> 00:14:20,060 - WELL, NOW I DO. - WELL, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, 304 00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:22,362 I'VE GOTTA GO UPSTAIRS AND SKYPE WITH MY WOMAN. 305 00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:25,498 SHE'S GONNA DO MY MATH HOMEWORK FOR ME, THEN WATCH ME FALL ASLEEP. 306 00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:29,369 THERE REALLY IS SOMEBODY FOR EVERYONE. 307 00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:32,372 WHAT'S UP WITH YOU AND THIS WHOLE NEW SUNNY OUTLOOK ON RELATIONSHIPS? 308 00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:34,174 WEREN'T YOU JUST OUT DUMPING DONALD? 309 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,109 NO. I SAW SOMETHING IN DONALD TONIGHT 310 00:14:36,143 --> 00:14:37,978 THAT I HADN'T REALLY SEEN BEFORE. 311 00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:39,879 OH YEAH? WHAT WAS THAT? 312 00:14:39,913 --> 00:14:42,515 HE WAS DIFFERENT. HE WAS COOL. HE WAS SELF-ASSURED. 313 00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:45,618 I CAN'T REALLY EXPLAIN IT, BUT HE WAS JUST SO... 314 00:14:45,652 --> 00:14:49,156 - ME? - NO, HE WAS NOTHING LIKE YOU. 315 00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:51,858 I LIKED HIM. HE WAS TAKE-CHARGE. HE WAS CONFIDENT. 316 00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,060 YEAH? YOU KNOW WHY HE WAS CONFIDENT? 317 00:14:53,093 --> 00:14:54,527 BECAUSE I TAUGHT HIM TO BE CONFIDENT. 318 00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:55,996 NO, HE WAS CONFIDENT 319 00:14:56,029 --> 00:14:57,630 BECAUSE OF ALL THE JOB OFFERS HE'S BEEN GETTING. 320 00:14:57,664 --> 00:15:00,033 - WHY DO YOU THINK HE'S GETTING ALL THESE JOB OFFERS? - OH, I'M SORRY. 321 00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:03,170 WERE YOU IN THE INTERVIEWS WITH HIM WITH YOUR HAND UP HIS PUPPET-HOLE? 322 00:15:03,203 --> 00:15:06,306 HE'S BEEN GETTING THE JOB OFFERS BECAUSE I PUT HIM THROUGH A CRASH COURSE 323 00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:09,176 - AT THE UNIVERSITY OF SOUTHERN LONGO. - OH REALLY? 324 00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:13,246 WHAT'S YOUR SCHOOL CHEER? "WE ARE FULL OF CRAP!" 325 00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:17,284 ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? I WILL PROVE IT TO YOU. 326 00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:19,252 GIVE ME AN EXAMPLE OF CONFIDENT DONALD. 327 00:15:19,286 --> 00:15:22,155 OKAY, TONIGHT AT DINNER I WANTED THE STEAK SANDWICH, 328 00:15:22,189 --> 00:15:24,557 BUT THE WAITER SAID THAT THAT'S A LUNCH ITEM, SO DONALD... 329 00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:28,061 CALLED FOR THE MANAGER AND GAVE HIM THE "WHAT MY WOMAN WANTS, SHE GETS" SPEECH. 330 00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:30,530 - HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT? - IT'S MY SPEECH! 331 00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:33,433 I TAUGHT HIM THAT SPEECH. YOU'RE GOING OUT WITH A GUY THAT I TRAINED. 332 00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:35,935 HE'S USING ALL MY MOVES. FACE IT, BURKE... 333 00:15:35,969 --> 00:15:39,506 YOU ARE DATING JOE LONGO. 334 00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:43,410 NO. YOU... IT'S... 335 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:45,245 - YOU... - EXACTLY. 336 00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,447 ME. ME! 337 00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:58,658 HEY. 338 00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:01,594 SOMEBODY ORDER A DONALD, STRAIGHT UP? 339 00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,997 - HEY YOU. - READY FOR DINNER? 340 00:16:04,031 --> 00:16:05,698 ALMOST. 341 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:11,071 - ARE YOU READY NOW? - UH-HUH. 342 00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:13,940 I'M TAKING YOU TO A GREAT THAI RESTAURANT. 343 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:16,209 OH, I WAS REALLY CRAVING CHINESE. 344 00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:19,312 - MMM, I THINK YOU'LL CHANGE YOUR MIND. - I DON'T THINK I WILL. 345 00:16:19,346 --> 00:16:23,050 - I'M BETTING YOU'LL COME AROUND. - WOW, YOU HAVE SUCH AN EGO. 346 00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:26,086 - AND IT WORKS FOR ME, DOESN'T IT? - I CAN'T STAND IT. 347 00:16:29,756 --> 00:16:32,392 - SO THAI IT IS? - OH YEAH. 348 00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:34,727 OH, SORRY TO INTERRUPT, MS. BURKE, 349 00:16:34,761 --> 00:16:36,529 BUT THE CITY ATTORNEY IS ON THE PHONE. 350 00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:38,731 - OH, TELL HIM I'M BUSY MAKING OUT. - OKAY. 351 00:16:38,765 --> 00:16:40,733 NO, I WAS JUST KIDDING! PUT HIM THROUGH. 352 00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:43,136 I'LL BE OUT THERE WHEN YOU'RE READY. 353 00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:46,673 SAVE SOME OF THOSE FOR AFTER DINNER. 354 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:51,211 HOW DO YOU TYPE SO FAST? YOU MUST HAVE MAGIC FINGERS. 355 00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:54,614 NO, I THINK THEY'RE JUST REGULAR FINGERS. 356 00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:57,684 WELL, THEY ARE THE PRETTIEST REGULAR FINGERS I'VE EVER SEEN. 357 00:16:57,717 --> 00:16:59,486 YOU COULD BE A HAND MODEL. 358 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:01,454 - DONALD? - YEAH. 359 00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:04,691 - YOU READY? - YEAH, WHAT WAS THAT? 360 00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:06,593 JUST MAKING A LADY SMILE. 361 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:09,696 NOW LET'S GO SEE IF I CAN MAKE YOU SMILE. 362 00:17:16,636 --> 00:17:18,738 ( dramatic music plays, screaming on TV ) 363 00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:23,743 I'M SO GLAD YOU WANTED TO WATCH "ZOMBIE ACADEMY 4: SENIOR YEAR." 364 00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:26,313 I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE INTO THESE KIND OF MOVIES. 365 00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:28,648 I LIKE WHATEVER YOU LIKE, SWEETIE. 366 00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:32,018 - ( chainsaw whirrs ) - WHOA! 367 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:35,155 NO MORE TORSO FOR THAT GUY. 368 00:17:35,188 --> 00:17:38,191 OH MY. SO, RYDER, 369 00:17:38,225 --> 00:17:41,728 IF YOU WANT, YOU CAN KEEP WATCHING THE MOVIE AND I'LL MASSAGE YOUR FEET. 370 00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:44,397 SOCKS OR NO SOCKS? 371 00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:49,802 NO SOCKS, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'D LIKE. 372 00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:52,772 HOLLY, YOU'RE THE BEST. 373 00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:55,708 OH, UM, I'M NOT THAT GREAT. 374 00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:59,646 ARE YOU KIDDING? YOU'RE THE GREATEST GIRLFRIEND A GUY'S EVER HAD. 375 00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:02,149 NO NO, RYDER. I'M NOT! 376 00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:03,816 I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE. 377 00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:06,253 I HAVE A TERRIBLE CONFESSION TO MAKE: 378 00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:09,756 I HAVE KISSED THE LIPS OF ANOTHER. 379 00:18:11,358 --> 00:18:14,227 WHAT?! NO, HOLLY, THAT CANNOT BE TRUE! 380 00:18:14,261 --> 00:18:16,796 YOU COULD NEVER HAVE KISSED TIM LOGAN! 381 00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:21,100 WHO SAID TIM LOGAN? 382 00:18:21,134 --> 00:18:23,503 NO ONE. I JUST TOOK A SHOT, 383 00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:25,805 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, HE'S SO CUTE. 384 00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:28,375 YOU KNEW! 385 00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:30,410 YOU KNEW THIS WHOLE TIME! ( gasps ) 386 00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,812 AND YOU LET ME BE NICE TO YOU! 387 00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:35,282 - I'M SORRY... - LENNOX! 388 00:18:35,315 --> 00:18:38,251 - YOU TOLD RYDER? YOU SWORE YOU WOULDN'T! - WHAT? 389 00:18:38,285 --> 00:18:41,788 - I DIDN'T SAY SQUAT. - I MASSAGED HIS NAKED FOOT FOR NOTHING! 390 00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:44,691 TELL HIM HOW WRONG IT WAS TO EXPLOIT AN INNOCENT GIRL. 391 00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:47,860 INNOCENT? YOU TRIED TO INHALE TIM LOGAN'S FACE. 392 00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:51,498 HEY, WATCH WHAT YOU SAY. THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND YOU'RE TALKING TO. 393 00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:55,101 YOU'RE DEFENDING HER? WOW, YOU TWO DESERVE EACH OTHER. 394 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:57,804 I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU MR. AND MRS. WHACK-JOB. 395 00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:03,343 OH, YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE, MISTER. 396 00:19:03,376 --> 00:19:04,844 NOW PUT YOUR SOCK BACK ON. 397 00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:14,754 - HEY. - HEY. 398 00:19:14,787 --> 00:19:17,890 THAT WAS A QUICK DATE. MAN, YOU'RE EASY. 399 00:19:17,924 --> 00:19:20,727 I PULLED THE TRIGGER. I DUMPED DONALD. 400 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,363 YOU DUMPED HIM? WHAT HAPPENED TO WORKING THINGS OUT? 401 00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:25,465 YOU CAN'T WORK THINGS OUT WITH AN EGOMANIAC. 402 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:27,800 HE WAS HORRIBLE, SMUG, ARROGANT. 403 00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:30,303 YOU'RE RIGHT, JOE. HE IS YOU. 404 00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:32,605 WAIT A MINUTE, I THOUGHT YOU SAID THAT HE WASN'T ME. 405 00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:35,375 THAT WAS BEFORE YOU ASSIFIED HIM. 406 00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:37,610 AT DINNER, DONALD TOLD ME 407 00:19:37,644 --> 00:19:38,778 HE WAS TIED DOWN TO ONE COMPANY FOR 10 YEARS... 408 00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:40,913 HE WON'T BE TIED DOWN TO ONE LADY. 409 00:19:40,947 --> 00:19:44,317 HE ACTUALLY SAID, "WE CAN SEE EACH OTHER AS LONG AS YOU KNOW I'M FREELANCE." 410 00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:46,919 - FREELANCE! - WHAT? 411 00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:48,721 I HARDLY EVER SAY THAT... 412 00:19:48,755 --> 00:19:50,923 ANYMORE. 413 00:19:50,957 --> 00:19:53,793 WOW, I GAVE HIM ALL THAT CONFIDENCE AND HE JUST TOOK IT TO THE DARK SIDE. 414 00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:56,296 HE WAS FLIRTING WITH EVERYONE: THE RECEPTIONIST, 415 00:19:56,329 --> 00:19:58,565 THE WAITRESS, THE EFFEMINATE VALET PARKING GUY. 416 00:19:58,598 --> 00:20:02,168 YOU RUINED HIM, JOE, AND WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN A PERFECTLY GOOD RELATIONSHIP. 417 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:05,605 POOR DONALD... WITH GREAT POWER COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILITY. 418 00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:08,741 I GUESS I JUST BROUGHT HIM ALONG TOO QUICKLY. 419 00:20:08,775 --> 00:20:10,243 OH WELL, YOU'RE WELCOME. 420 00:20:10,277 --> 00:20:13,746 - FOR WHAT? - FOR WHAT? A FEW WEEKS AGO, 421 00:20:13,780 --> 00:20:17,550 A LADY CAME TO ME AND SAID, "JOE, ZEN MASTER, MIRACLE WORKER, 422 00:20:17,584 --> 00:20:20,287 WILL YOU PLEASE HELP ME GET DONALD A JOB SO I CAN DUMP HIM?" 423 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:22,955 AND TWO WEEKS LATER, DONALD GOT A JOB AND YOU GOT TO DUMP HIM. 424 00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:26,826 - MIRACLE ACCOMPLISHED. - OH, SO THAT WAS YOUR PLAN ALL ALONG? 425 00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:28,728 BURKE, THE POINT ISN'T HOW WE GOT HERE. 426 00:20:28,761 --> 00:20:31,197 ALL RIGHT? IT'S THAT WE'VE ARRIVED. 427 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:34,301 OKAY, MUST YOU TURN EVERYTHING INTO A REASON FOR SELF-CELEBRATION? 428 00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:37,970 I'M JUST SAYING THAT ONE DAY MAYBE YOU'LL START DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT, 429 00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:40,773 AND THEN YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE IN MY WORLD. 430 00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:44,377 WHAT'S IN YOUR DUMPING DOGGY BOX THERE? 431 00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:46,679 - CHICKEN SATAY. - OOH, THAT LOOKS GOOD. 432 00:20:46,713 --> 00:20:49,449 YOU WANT SOME? DUMP YOUR OWN GUY! 433 00:20:55,021 --> 00:20:58,725 HEY, JOE, I NEED YOUR HELP AND I CAN'T TALK TO AUNT MEL. 434 00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,727 I GET IT... GUY STUFF, HUH? 435 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:03,696 SIT DOWN. WHAT'S UP? 436 00:21:03,730 --> 00:21:06,333 TEACH ME HOW TO BAKE A PIE. 437 00:21:06,366 --> 00:21:08,668 HOLLY FOUND OUT YOU KNEW, DIDN'T SHE? 438 00:21:08,701 --> 00:21:11,270 YEP. 439 00:21:11,304 --> 00:21:13,973 SO NO MORE HER DOING YOUR HOMEWORK, NO MORE MASSAGES? 440 00:21:14,006 --> 00:21:16,976 NO MORE A LOT OF THINGS. 441 00:21:17,009 --> 00:21:20,313 AND ORDER IS RESTORED. 442 00:21:20,347 --> 00:21:22,949 ALL RIGHT, BUDDY. TIME TO MAN UP, DUDE. 443 00:21:22,982 --> 00:21:24,617 PUT ON YOUR APRON.