1 00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:09,410 "MELISSA & JOEY" IS RECORDED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE. 2 00:00:09,443 --> 00:00:12,413 YOU KNOW, ARIEL, WHAT I LIKE BEST ABOUT CHAMBER-OF-COMMERCE MEETINGS? 3 00:00:12,446 --> 00:00:15,049 COMING BACK HERE AND DRINKING IT OFF. 4 00:00:15,083 --> 00:00:17,751 ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ME DRUNK AND HAVE YOUR WAY WITH ME? 5 00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:19,753 HEY, I HAVEN'T GIVEN UP ON MEN YET. 6 00:00:19,787 --> 00:00:22,690 BUT IF I EVER DO, YOU ARE AT THE TOP OF MY IF-I-WERE-GAY LIST. 7 00:00:22,723 --> 00:00:25,359 THAT IS SO SWEET. 8 00:00:25,393 --> 00:00:28,529 ALL RIGHT, I'VE GOT MEETINGS WITH HORRIBLE PEOPLE EARLY TOMORROW MORNING, 9 00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:30,364 SO THIS IS ME GETTING MY COAT. 10 00:00:30,398 --> 00:00:33,567 AND THIS IS ME KEEPING THE REST OF THE WINE FOR MYSELF. 11 00:00:33,601 --> 00:00:37,105 - BYE. - SEE YA. 12 00:00:37,138 --> 00:00:39,540 VALERIE, THIS IS NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL. 13 00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:42,643 IT IS TO ME. ALL I WANTED YOU TO DO WAS MEET MY FATHER. 14 00:00:42,676 --> 00:00:44,612 I DON'T THINK I'M BEING UNREASONABLE. 15 00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:47,448 FIND SOME OTHER BARISTA TO MAKE YOUR SKINNY VANILLA LATTES. 16 00:00:47,481 --> 00:00:49,283 WE'RE OVER, JOE LONGO. 17 00:00:49,317 --> 00:00:51,719 WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT... HEY! 18 00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:54,322 JEEZ, LONGO, WOULD IT HAVE KILLED YOU TO MEET HER FATHER? 19 00:00:54,355 --> 00:00:56,056 SORT OF. HE DIED TWO YEARS AGO. 20 00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:58,058 SHE BROUGHT HIM OVER IN A JAR. 21 00:00:58,092 --> 00:01:00,094 SHE WANTED ME TO MEET HIS ASHES. 22 00:01:00,128 --> 00:01:02,763 WOW, BIG SURPRISE... ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR LIGHT-WEIGHT LADIES 23 00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:06,334 POPS LIKE A BALLOON AND FLIES AROUND THE ROOM. PFFT! 24 00:01:06,367 --> 00:01:08,602 IT'S TOO BAD TOO. VALERIE WAS REALLY SOMETHING SPECIAL. 25 00:01:08,636 --> 00:01:12,673 SHE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO EVER GOT MY SKINNY VANILLA LATTES EXACTLY RIGHT. 26 00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:15,109 I AM SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS. 27 00:01:15,143 --> 00:01:17,511 BUT, COME ON, SHE'S NOT THE FIRST WOMAN TO STORM OUT OF HERE 28 00:01:17,545 --> 00:01:19,680 SAYING, "IT'S OVER, JOE LONGO." 29 00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:21,749 IT IS THE FIRST TIME A WOMAN STORMED OUT OF HERE 30 00:01:21,782 --> 00:01:23,684 CARRYING A DEAD GUY IN A CAN. 31 00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:25,786 YOU KNOW, NOT THAT I'M KEEPING TRACK, 32 00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:28,189 BUT SINCE I'VE KNOWN YOU, YOU'VE DATED NOTHING 33 00:01:28,222 --> 00:01:30,090 BUT THESE INSUBSTANTIAL FLAKY CRAZIES. 34 00:01:30,124 --> 00:01:32,660 HEY, YOU FORGOT "HOT." 35 00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:36,330 OH, OKAY... HOT AND FLAKY. YOU'RE DATING PUFF PASTRIES. 36 00:01:36,364 --> 00:01:40,334 YOU KNOW, YOU NEED A WOMAN WHO'S MORE MATURE, MORE REFINED, 37 00:01:40,368 --> 00:01:42,236 MORE MEATY. 38 00:01:42,270 --> 00:01:44,705 MMM, YEAH, I DO LIKE 'EM MEATY, 39 00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:47,741 LIKE A LADY POT PIE. 40 00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:51,212 YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED? YOU NEED A WOMAN WHO'S GOT GOALS AND A CAREER. 41 00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:53,547 YOU KNOW? SOMEONE WHO'S STRONG AND INDEPENDENT, 42 00:01:53,581 --> 00:01:55,616 BUT SENSITIVE AND FLIRTATIOUS. 43 00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:57,117 SOMEONE LIKE ME... 44 00:01:57,151 --> 00:02:00,388 I MEAN, YOU KNOW, ONE THAT CAN STAND YOU. 45 00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:02,790 UNFORTUNATELY, WOMEN LIKE THAT DON'T JUST FLY AROUND 46 00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:04,825 LIKE MARY POPPINS ON HER UMBRELLA. 47 00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:08,296 SORRY, FORGOT MY UMBRELLA. 48 00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:12,866 NOOO. 49 00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:16,737 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD - ♪ ALL GOOD 50 00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:18,406 - ♪ IT'S OKAY - ♪ OKAY 51 00:02:18,439 --> 00:02:20,140 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT - ♪ ALL RIGHT 52 00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:21,809 ♪ AS FAR AS I CAN SEE 53 00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:23,611 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD - ♪ ALL GOOD 54 00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,613 - ♪ IT'S OKAY - ♪ OKAY 55 00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:27,281 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT - ♪ ALL RIGHT 56 00:02:27,315 --> 00:02:30,117 ♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK ♪ 57 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,853 ♪ WITH ME ♪ 58 00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:37,625 SORRY TO BARGE IN, BUT THIS IS THE FIFTH ONE OF THESE I'VE BOUGHT IN A MONTH. 59 00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:40,494 I'M SINGLE-HANDEDLY SUPPORTING THE UMBRELLA INDUSTRY OF TOLEDO. 60 00:02:40,528 --> 00:02:42,730 ( laughs ) 61 00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:46,834 OKAY, THIS IS ARIEL, MY FRIEND FROM THE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE, 62 00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:50,170 AND THIS IS JOE, MY MALE NANNY MAN. 63 00:02:50,204 --> 00:02:52,340 THANK YOU FOR BUTCHING THAT UP, BURKE. 64 00:02:52,373 --> 00:02:54,342 - HI. - NICE MEETING YOU, JOE. 65 00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:56,244 I WAS JUST GOING TO SAY THE EXACT SAME THING, 66 00:02:56,277 --> 00:02:58,212 EXCEPT I WAS GOING TO PUT YOUR NAME IN THE JOE SPOT. 67 00:02:58,246 --> 00:02:59,880 YEAH, THAT'S GREAT. OKAY. 68 00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:01,315 WELL, SEE YOU LATER, ARIEL. 69 00:03:01,349 --> 00:03:03,684 - BYE, JOE. - BYE. 70 00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:06,654 ( sighs ) 71 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,489 I AM STARVING. 72 00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:10,824 HEY, WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT ABOUT HER, HUH? 73 00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:12,326 FIX ME UP WITH ARIEL. 74 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:15,429 UH, "NOOO" MEANS NOOO. 75 00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:18,832 HEY, NOW COME ON, YOU SAID I NEED SOMEONE 76 00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:22,670 CLASSY AND SMART AND WHO ACTUALLY BURIES THEIR DEAD. 77 00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:24,805 JOE, PLEASE, ARIEL IS THE GOAL. 78 00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:27,675 WHEN YOU DECIDE TO GO TO THE MOON, YOU DON'T SEND YOUR BEST GUY FIRST. 79 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,910 YOU START OFF WITH A CHIMP. 80 00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:31,779 SO YOU WANT ME TO DATE A CHIMP? 81 00:03:31,812 --> 00:03:35,783 ARIEL IS A C.E.O. SHE RUNS HER OWN BUSINESS. 82 00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:38,286 SHE IS THE DREAM. EASE INTO IT, YOU KNOW? 83 00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:40,288 GET YOUR FEET WET WITH A NICE PARALEGAL. 84 00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:42,423 AH, I SEE, SO YOU DON'T THINK I COULD HANDLE 85 00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:44,358 YOUR LITTLE HIGH-POWERED BLAZER LADY FRIEND. 86 00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:49,363 PERSONALLY, I THINK YOU'D BE STRETCHING IT WITH THE CHIMP. 87 00:03:49,397 --> 00:03:51,865 IS THERE ANYTHING YOU NEED? CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING? 88 00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:54,802 AM I TALKING TOO MUCH? IS THIS TOO MANY QUESTIONS? 89 00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:58,539 I'LL BE OKAY. ( sighs ) 90 00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:01,275 WHAT'S WITH HER, HASKELL? DID SOMETHING BAD HAPPEN? 91 00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:03,611 YEAH, THE WORST THING IMAGINABLE. 92 00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:07,247 - THEY KICKED HER OFF THE SCHOOL BLOG. - OH, THAT'S IT? 93 00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:09,983 I MEAN, YES, OF COURSE, THAT IS THE WORST THING IMAGINABLE. 94 00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:11,985 I TRANSFORMED THAT BLOG. 95 00:04:12,019 --> 00:04:15,323 I GOT RID OF STUPID ARTICLES LIKE "WHAT IF 'TWILIGHT' WAS REAL?" 96 00:04:15,356 --> 00:04:17,691 I MADE IT SIGNIFICANT. I MADE IT MATTER. 97 00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:18,826 WHO'D YOU PISS OFF THIS TIME? 98 00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:20,528 SHE CALLED HER GYM TEACHER 99 00:04:20,561 --> 00:04:22,996 THE KIM JONG IL OF PHYSICAL EDUCATION. 100 00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:24,865 - OOH! - IT NEEDED TO BE SAID. 101 00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:28,469 SHE'S MEAN AND THEY HAVE THE SAME HAIRCUT. 102 00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:31,305 MAYBE IT DIDN'T NEED TO BE WRITTEN DOWN. 103 00:04:31,339 --> 00:04:33,273 I'VE BEEN TELLING HER, SHE SHOULD START HER OWN BLOG. 104 00:04:33,307 --> 00:04:34,942 SHE DOESN'T LISTEN TO OTHER PEOPLE. 105 00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:37,345 ( gasps ) I JUST HAD THE GREATEST IDEA. 106 00:04:37,378 --> 00:04:39,547 I'M GONNA START MY OWN BLOG. 107 00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:42,650 GOOD IDEA. I LOVE HEARING YOU THINK. 108 00:04:42,683 --> 00:04:44,952 DO YOU KNOW HOW LUCKY I AM? 109 00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:48,389 I FORGET... HOW LONG HAVE THEY BEEN MARRIED? 110 00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:50,491 THEY TOTALLY GET EACH OTHER. IT'S SICKENING. 111 00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:52,960 I KNOW. SPEAKING OF GREAT COUPLES, YOU GONNA HOOK ME UP WITH ARIEL? 112 00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:55,629 FINE, I'LL CALL HER FOR YOU. 113 00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:57,965 BUT, YOU KNOW, I PREDICT THIS WHOLE THING'S GOING TO BLOW UP IN YOUR FACE. 114 00:04:57,998 --> 00:04:59,833 I MEAN, SHE MAY NOT EVEN BE INTERESTED IN YOU. 115 00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:03,904 ARE YOU KIDDING? SHE... SAW ME. 116 00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:09,977 Man's voice: To make a knit stitch, 117 00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:12,480 hold the needle you've cast onto in your left hand. 118 00:05:12,513 --> 00:05:14,915 - GOT IT. - Hold the yarn in your right hand. 119 00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:17,385 - GOT IT. - Insert the tip of the right needle 120 00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:19,487 - into the first stitch of... - WAIT, MY RIGHT OR YOUR RIGHT? 121 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,321 WAIT, WHOA, SLOW DOWN. HOLD ON. 122 00:05:21,355 --> 00:05:22,990 - The right needle under... - WAIT, SLOW DOWN! 123 00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:25,058 PAUSE. DAMN IT, PAUSE! 124 00:05:25,092 --> 00:05:27,995 See? So simple anyone can do it. 125 00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:31,599 OH, SCREW THIS. I'M GETTING MYSELF A GLASS OF WINE. 126 00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:36,404 HEY, THERE. WHAT ARE YOU UP TO? 127 00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:39,373 KNITTING, DAMN IT. IT'S RELAXING. 128 00:05:39,407 --> 00:05:42,976 NICE. I JUST GOT BACK FROM MY FIRST DATE WITH ARIEL. 129 00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:45,513 YOU KNOW, THE ONE THAT YOU SAID WAS GOING TO BLOW UP? 130 00:05:45,546 --> 00:05:47,881 AND YOU WERE RIGHT, IT DID BLOW UP... 131 00:05:47,915 --> 00:05:50,050 LIKE THE FOURTH OF FRIGGIN' JULY, BABY! 132 00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:53,421 SHE LIKED YOU? I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN TO SAY IT THAT WAY. 133 00:05:53,454 --> 00:05:55,088 BUT SHE LIKED YOU? 134 00:05:55,122 --> 00:05:56,924 YEAH, WE GOT ALONG GREAT. 135 00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:59,627 AND I HAVE TO ADMIT, IT WAS ACTUALLY VERY REFRESHING 136 00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:01,995 TO GO OUT WITH A WOMAN WHO IS MY INTELLECTUAL PEER... 137 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,664 BASICALLY. 138 00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,065 SO THANK YOU. 139 00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:06,867 THAT'S IT? 140 00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:09,803 THANK YOU? WHAT'S THE TWIST? WHERE'S THE ZINGER? 141 00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:11,371 THERE'S NO TWIST. THERE'S NO ZINGER. 142 00:06:11,405 --> 00:06:13,373 OH, AND TONIGHT WHEN WE WERE AT DINNER, 143 00:06:13,407 --> 00:06:15,375 I RAN INTO AN OLD FRIEND OF MINE FROM BUSINESS SCHOOL 144 00:06:15,409 --> 00:06:18,011 WHO IS NOW IN FACT SINGLE AND I THINK WOULD BE PERFECT FOR YOU. 145 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,847 PERFECT FOR WHAT? 146 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,615 PERFECT FOR YOU TO GO OUT WITH. 147 00:06:21,649 --> 00:06:23,784 ALL RIGHT? THIS IS MY WAY OF SAYING THANKS. 148 00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:28,489 CONSIDER THIS FRIEND OF MINE A MUFFIN BASKET OF MAN FOR YOU. 149 00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:31,892 JOE, I DON'T THINK I'D BE INTERESTED IN ANY FRIEND OF YOURS. 150 00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:34,094 AND THEREIN LIES THE PROBLEM. 151 00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:36,497 YOU HOLD ALL MEN UP TO AN IMPOSSIBLE IDEAL. 152 00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:38,832 I COULD WALK GEORGE CLOONEY IN HERE AND YOU'D FIND FAULT WITH HIM. 153 00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:41,001 UH, CLOONEY DOES SEEM PRETTY SELF-INVOLVED. 154 00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:43,070 - ARE YOU KIDDING? - I AM NOT A FAULT-FINDER. 155 00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:45,539 YOU ARE THE DRUG-SNIFFING DOG OF FINDING FAULT. 156 00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:47,875 YOU BROKE UP WITH THAT ONE GUY BECAUSE HE WAS TOO HANDSOME. 157 00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:50,010 I DON'T LIKE TO DATE ANYONE PRETTIER THAN ME. 158 00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:52,813 WELL, THAT... ALL RIGHT, I GET THAT. 159 00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:55,082 WHAT ABOUT THAT DOCTOR THAT YOU BROKE UP WITH, HUH? 160 00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:57,084 HE COULD NEVER FOCUS ON ME, YOU KNOW? 161 00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:59,720 HE WAS ALWAYS CHECKING IN TO SEE IF SOME PRECIOUS KIDNEY 162 00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:03,423 HAD ARRIVED AT THE AIRPORT. TALK ABOUT SELF-INVOLVED. 163 00:07:03,457 --> 00:07:05,726 AND THAT IS MY POINT. YOU ALWAYS FIND THE FLAWS. 164 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,461 WELL, I HAVE HIGH STANDARDS. 165 00:07:07,495 --> 00:07:11,098 YEAH, AND ALL THE MITTENS YOU CAN KNIT ON A SATURDAY NIGHT. 166 00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:13,400 TELL HIM TO CALL ME. 167 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:16,403 - YOU WILL NOT BE SORRY. - GOOD. JUST MAKE SURE HE'S NOT... 168 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,038 I'M SORRY, WERE YOU GOING TO SAY SOMETHING? 169 00:07:18,071 --> 00:07:20,207 NOTHING. 170 00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:27,114 HOW'S YOUR BLOG COMING? 171 00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:29,483 I'VE ONLY GOT A FEW ARTICLES AND HALF A FORMAT. 172 00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:31,485 AND MY SITE STILL NEEDS A CATCHY NAME. 173 00:07:31,519 --> 00:07:34,421 HOW ABOUT "THE DAILY LENNOX," 174 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,089 OR "NUGGETS FROM SCANLON"? 175 00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:38,926 I SAID CATCHY, NOT SUCKY. 176 00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:42,563 "CRANKY TEEN GIRL"? "IT'S ALL ABOUT ME"? 177 00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:46,033 "I'M THE ONLY ONE WITH PROBLEMS DOT COM"? 178 00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:48,836 EXCUSE ME, I DON'T COMPLAIN. 179 00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:51,672 I EXPLAIN WHAT'S GOING ON. I EXPLAIN WHAT PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW. 180 00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:54,875 HOW ABOUT "YAPPETY YAP YAP"? 181 00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:57,110 - I'M GIVING YOU GOLD. YOU SHOULD BE WRITING THESE DOWN. - ( knocks ) 182 00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:01,715 GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ONE. 183 00:08:01,749 --> 00:08:05,485 SO DID YOU EAT YET, OR YOU WANT TO GET SOMETHING AT THE MOVIES? 184 00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:08,121 OH GOD, I FORGOT. 185 00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:10,157 BUT I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO FOR MY BLOG. 186 00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:12,793 I DON'T EVEN HAVE A NAME FOR IT YET. 187 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:16,530 GOT IT... "I'M BLONDE AS HELL AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE." 188 00:08:17,731 --> 00:08:20,233 I'M TELLING YOU, THESE ARE GREAT. 189 00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:22,936 I'M SORRY, HASKELL, BUT I REALLY HAVE TO WORK. 190 00:08:22,970 --> 00:08:25,038 OH, OKAY. YOU'VE GOT WORK TO DO. 191 00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:27,107 YEAH, THAT'S COOL. THAT'S COOL. 192 00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:30,010 I'VE GOT SOME STUFF TO DO MYSELF. 193 00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:31,712 LATER, BYE. 194 00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:38,218 WOW. LENNOX, OUCH. 195 00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:39,119 WHAT? 196 00:08:39,152 --> 00:08:40,954 HASKELL LOOKED REALLY UPSET THERE. 197 00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:44,091 WHAT? NO NO. HE HAD THINGS TO DO. HE SAID HE WAS COOL. 198 00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:45,993 YEAH, WHEN A GUY SAYS IT'S COOL, 199 00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:49,262 IT'S KIND OF LIKE WHEN WE SAY, "EVERYTHING'S FINE." 200 00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:53,266 OH. OH! 201 00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:56,203 I DIDN'T MEAN TO BLOW HIM OFF, I'M JUST SO BUSY. 202 00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:59,139 NO ONE HAS ANY IDEA HOW MUCH WORK THIS BLOG THING IS. 203 00:08:59,172 --> 00:09:02,275 NO, I THINK WE DO, 'CAUSE YOU KEEP TELLING US. 204 00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:05,212 YOU KNOW, MAYBE YOU NEED TO MAKE A LITTLE MORE EFFORT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP. 205 00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:08,148 I WANT TO. HASKELL'S IMPORTANT TO ME. 206 00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:10,150 HOW DO YOU DO IT ALL, AUNT MEL? 207 00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:12,119 YOU CAN'T. YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO GIVE UP SOMETHING. 208 00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:14,922 I MEAN, LOOK AT ME. I HAD TO SACRIFICE MY 6:00 A.M. WORKOUTS 209 00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:18,659 THAT I LOVED SO MUCH THAT ONE TIME I WENT. 210 00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:21,294 NO NO, I CAN DO IT ALL. 211 00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:23,997 - I'LL FIGURE IT OUT. - YEAH, YOU'LL BE THE ONE. 212 00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:27,267 ( laughs ) HEY, SORRY I'VE GOT TO RUSH OUT OF HERE. 213 00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:29,569 I'VE GOT A BLIND DATE THAT JOE SET ME UP WITH. 214 00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:31,271 - YOU UNDERSTAND, RIGHT? - SURE. 215 00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:34,274 - EVERYTHING'S FINE. - COOL. 216 00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:41,214 ALL RIGHT, "TO KNOW HIM IS TO LOVE HIM." 217 00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:45,986 WRITTEN BY PHIL SPECTOR; RECORDED BY THE TEDDY BEARS IN 1958. 218 00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:48,188 RIGHT AGAIN. WOW, OKAY, "EARTH ANGEL." 219 00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:52,826 WILLIAMS AND BELVIN. RELEASED IN 1955 BY THE PENGUINS. 220 00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:55,562 CORRECT. YOU CANNOT BE STUMPED. 221 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:59,166 I CAN ALSO RECITE THE U.S. VICE PRESIDENTS IN REVERSE ORDER. 222 00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:01,935 IT IS A FREAKISH, USELESS GIFT. 223 00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:04,004 I CAN FIT MY WHOLE FIST IN MY MOUTH, 224 00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:06,206 ALTHOUGH IT DOESN'T REALLY IMPRESS THE BOYFRIENDS' PARENTS. 225 00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:08,308 I LEARNED THAT THE HARD WAY. 226 00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:10,210 WANT SOME MORE CHEESY GARLIC FRIES? 227 00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:13,046 THAT MIGHT BE THE HOTTEST THING A MAN HAS EVER SAID TO ME. 228 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:16,349 EXCUSE ME FOR A SECOND. I JUST GOTTA CHECK IN ON THE KIDS. 229 00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:18,786 I MEAN, NOT MY KIDS, OF COURSE. MY SISTER'S KIDS. 230 00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:21,221 YOUR MUCH MUCH OLDER SISTER, RIGHT? 231 00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:23,090 I MEAN, YOU'RE WAY TOO YOUNG TO HAVE KIDS. 232 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:24,725 YOU'RE PRACTICALLY A TEENAGER YOURSELF. 233 00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:26,894 OH, YOU ARE SCORING ALL KINDS OF POINTS TONIGHT. 234 00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:30,130 BUT TECHNICALLY, I AM LEGAL, SO... 235 00:10:32,399 --> 00:10:34,868 UH, HI, JOE'S VOICEMAIL. 236 00:10:34,902 --> 00:10:37,671 YOU SAID YOU WANTED A MID-DATE REPORT, SO HERE IT IS: 237 00:10:37,705 --> 00:10:40,640 YOU KNOW, I HAVE TO ADMIT, THINGS ARE GOING REALLY GREAT. 238 00:10:40,674 --> 00:10:42,710 YOUR FRIEND CLARK, HE'S TERRIFIC. 239 00:10:42,743 --> 00:10:45,178 SO THANK YOU. STRAIGHT UP, NO TWIST. 240 00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:48,916 MISS ME? 241 00:10:48,949 --> 00:10:51,952 YOU LOOK FAMILIAR. STICK YOUR FIST IN YOUR MOUTH. 242 00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:53,687 OH OH, NOT ON A FIRST DATE. 243 00:10:53,721 --> 00:10:56,356 ALL RIGHT, "STAND BY ME." 244 00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:58,759 DENISE GARCIA. 245 00:10:58,792 --> 00:11:02,362 I DON'T KNOW THAT VERSION, BUT THE ORIGINAL WAS THE DRIFTERS. 246 00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:04,331 ( sobbing ) 247 00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:08,401 BUT, YOU KNOW, YOU GOT ONE WRONG. IT'S OKAY. 248 00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:10,370 HAVE A GARLIC FRY. 249 00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:13,673 NO, DENISE GARCIA IS MY EX-WIFE. 250 00:11:13,707 --> 00:11:15,208 THAT WAS OUR SONG. 251 00:11:15,242 --> 00:11:16,910 SORRY. 252 00:11:16,944 --> 00:11:19,346 I'M A LITTLE RAW FROM THE DIVORCE. 253 00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:22,850 YEAH, IT MUST BE HARD TO START DATING SO SOON AFTER A BREAKUP. 254 00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:27,354 DENISE LEFT ME 89 WEEKS AGO. 255 00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:29,957 UH, LET IT ALL OUT. 256 00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:32,425 AND THERE'S THE TWIST. 257 00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:35,729 CHUBBY CHECKER, 1959! 258 00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:47,407 - WELCOME BACK. - AH! 259 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:49,376 - YOU SCARED ME. - I LIVE HERE. 260 00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:50,978 YEAH, THAT'S WHAT'S SCARY. 261 00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:54,047 SO I GOT YOUR VOICEMAIL. 262 00:11:54,081 --> 00:11:57,017 YOU HAD A GOOD DATE, HUH? YOU LIKE CLARK, RIGHT? 263 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,419 - MM-HMM. - OH, JEEZ, THE TIGHT LIPS. 264 00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:01,354 GET READY FOR IT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. 265 00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:02,956 WHAT IS IT? SHE FOUND A FLAW. 266 00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:04,792 IS HE TOO TALL? IS HE TOO SHORT? 267 00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:08,161 WAS HIS HEART BEATING AT AN UNACCEPTABLE RATE? 268 00:12:08,195 --> 00:12:10,363 UH, HE CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT HIS EX-WIFE. 269 00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:14,467 LOOK AT THAT... YOU JUST PICK AND PICK AND PICK UNTIL YOU FIND A FLAW. 270 00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:16,403 BELIEVE ME, I DIDN'T HAVE TO PICK AT ANYTHING. 271 00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:20,007 IT WAS RIGHT THERE ON THE SURFACE LIKE A BIG OPEN WEEPING SORE, 272 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:22,342 AND I MEAN WEEPING. 273 00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:24,177 HE'S IN TOUCH WITH HIS FEELINGS. 274 00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:27,380 HEY, DID YOU EVER CONSIDER THAT MAYBE YOU'RE THE COMMON DENOMINATOR 275 00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:30,483 IN ALL OF YOUR DATING TRAIN WRECKS? MAYBE THE PROBLEM IS YOU. 276 00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:32,485 OH, I'M THE PROBLEM? PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO GO OUT WITH ME? 277 00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:35,355 - THOSE ARE YOUR WORDS. - ( cell phone beeping ) 278 00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:37,357 AHA! IT'S FROM CLARK. 279 00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:40,293 WHAT DO YOU KNOW? HE WANTS TO GO OUT WITH ME AGAIN. 280 00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:41,929 HE DOESN'T THINK I'M THE PROBLEM. 281 00:12:41,962 --> 00:12:44,331 HE CALLED ME DENISE IN THE TEXT. 282 00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:47,234 I'M SURE THAT'S JUST A TYPO... MEL, DENISE. 283 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:48,902 OH, BOY. 284 00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:51,171 WAIT A MINUTE. DON'T GIVE UP ON CLARK JUST YET. 285 00:12:51,204 --> 00:12:54,174 HE'S A GOOD GUY, ALL RIGHT? A BLIND DATE IS A VERY STRESSFUL SITUATION. 286 00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:56,276 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT... I'M GOING TO DO YOU A FAVOR, ALL RIGHT? 287 00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:57,477 LET'S DO A DOUBLE DATE. 288 00:12:57,510 --> 00:13:00,480 SOMETIMES BEING IN A GROUP TAKES A LOT OF THE PRESSURE OFF. 289 00:13:00,513 --> 00:13:02,082 DOUBLE DATE, REALLY? 290 00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:04,284 WHAT IS THIS, "HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL"? 291 00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:06,386 MY IDEA IS FLAWED? IT HAS A FAULT? 292 00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:08,455 OKAY, FINE, YOU KNOW WHAT? WE'RE ALL GOING TO GO OUT TOGETHER 293 00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:09,857 AND I'M SURE IT'LL BE FLAWLESS. 294 00:13:09,890 --> 00:13:11,358 MAYBE TONE DOWN THE SARCASM JUST A BIT. 295 00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:13,493 YEAH, THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN. 296 00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:16,163 WOW, IT'S LIKE A DISEASE WITH ME. 297 00:13:19,867 --> 00:13:23,203 ( music playing on TV ) 298 00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:29,843 OH! NEED MY HAND. 299 00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:33,780 IT'S A NOTE FOR THE DRAMA-CLUB STORY. 300 00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,182 LAST INTERRUPTION, I PROMISE. 301 00:13:35,215 --> 00:13:37,050 - WE CAN TURN THIS OFF. - NO NO NO! 302 00:13:37,084 --> 00:13:40,187 THIS IS GOOD. I CAN WRITE AND DATE AND DO IT ALL. 303 00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:42,322 ( cell phone ringing ) 304 00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:45,092 OH, THIS IS THE TEACHER THAT GOT FIRED 305 00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:46,559 THAT I WANTED TO INTERVIEW. 306 00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:50,063 YOU KNOW WHAT? GO AHEAD. WE'LL WATCH THE MOVIE ANOTHER NIGHT. 307 00:13:50,097 --> 00:13:51,798 IT'S COOL. 308 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:54,968 NO, COOL? NO, NOT COOL. STAY. 309 00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:58,138 PLEASE STAY. HEY, MISS CUNNINGHAM. 310 00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:01,208 NO, I'M NOT IN THE MIDDLE OF ANYTHING. 311 00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:04,811 YOU'RE SUPER IMPORTANT TO ME. NOW SIT DOWN ON THE COUCH. 312 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,114 WHAT? REALLY? 313 00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:10,250 CAN I QUOTE YOU ON THAT? 314 00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:13,987 I'LL READ ABOUT IT ON THE BLOG. 315 00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:26,266 THAT'S NOT ON THE MENU. 316 00:14:26,299 --> 00:14:29,036 - MAYBE LATER. - I'M HOPING SO. 317 00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:34,574 HEY, CLARK, HOW ABOUT WE HIT THE DANCE FLOOR? SHAKE OUR GROOVE THING? 318 00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:37,077 DENISE HAD A GROOVE THING. 319 00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:41,848 AHEM, THANKS, YOU KNOW? 320 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,584 THIS WHOLE DOUBLE-DATE THING REALLY TOOK HIS MIND OFF HIS EX. 321 00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:46,319 I WISH I WAS KNITTING RIGHT NOW. 322 00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:48,321 THEN I'D HAVE SOME NEEDLES I COULD POKE IN MY EYES. 323 00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:50,157 YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON, BURKE. 324 00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:52,125 ALL RIGHT? IT'S ALSO ABOUT WHAT YOU BRING OUT IN THE OTHER PERSON. 325 00:14:52,159 --> 00:14:53,893 THAT'S THE SECRET OF MY SUCCESS. 326 00:14:53,927 --> 00:14:55,462 SEE, I BRING OUT THE BEST IN WOMEN. 327 00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:58,431 YOU KNOW WHAT YOU BRING OUT IN ME? THIS LINE RIGHT HERE. 328 00:14:58,465 --> 00:15:00,433 HEY, YOU WANT A MARGARITA? 329 00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:03,436 MARGARITA? THAT WAS DENISE'S MIDDLE NAME. 330 00:15:03,470 --> 00:15:05,638 YEAH? WELL, IT'S MY MIDDLE NAME TOO. 331 00:15:05,672 --> 00:15:07,640 WAITER? 332 00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:10,910 OOH, COME ON, WE HAVE TO DANCE. 333 00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:13,146 YEAH, DANCING ISN'T REALLY MY THING. 334 00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:14,514 THAT'S 'CAUSE YOU NEVER DANCED WITH ME. 335 00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:17,184 I'M SURE YOU'RE GOOD, BUT NO. 336 00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:21,388 LITTLE KNOWN FACT... DANCING WITH ME HAS MADE BLIND PEOPLE SEE. 337 00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:24,091 OKAY, ONE DANCE. 338 00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:25,392 THERE WE GO! THAT'S THE SPIRIT. 339 00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:27,227 COME ON NOW. COME ON, HERE WE GO. 340 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:31,098 I'M SORRY, MEL. THIS MUST BE THE WORST DATE YOU'VE EVER BEEN ON. 341 00:15:31,131 --> 00:15:34,101 NOT THE WORST. YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T COME BACK FROM THE BATHROOM 342 00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:36,136 TO FIND YOU WEARING MY BRA AND PANTIES. 343 00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:38,071 THE NIGHT IS YOUNG. 344 00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:40,207 SEE? YOU'RE FUN. 345 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:42,342 I WANT TO BRING THAT OUT IN YOU, CLARK. 346 00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:43,943 YOU'RE SO SWEET 347 00:15:43,977 --> 00:15:45,678 AND FORGIVING AND UNCRITICAL. 348 00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:47,714 I KNOW? RIGHT? 349 00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,917 HEY, HASKELL. 350 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,120 EVERYBODY AT SCHOOL SAID I SHOULD READ YOUR BLOG, 351 00:15:53,153 --> 00:15:54,988 SO I CHECKED IT OUT. 352 00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:58,458 I WORKED REALLY HARD ON THAT. 353 00:15:58,491 --> 00:16:00,460 SO THIS HASKELL YOU'RE APOLOGIZING TO, 354 00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:02,429 THAT'S... THAT'S ME, RIGHT? 355 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:05,598 IT IS. I JUST FEEL AWFUL. NO MORE DISTRACTED DATING. 356 00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:07,234 I WON'T DO THAT TO YOU EVER AGAIN. 357 00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:09,536 OH, YOU WILL. AND THAT'S WHY I BROUGHT OVER MY STUFF. 358 00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:12,972 WE'RE GONNA SIT HERE AND DO OUR OWN SEPARATE THINGS... 359 00:16:13,006 --> 00:16:14,507 TOGETHER. 360 00:16:14,541 --> 00:16:18,678 YOU KNOW WHAT? WE COULD STOP EVERY 20 MINUTES AND TAKE MAKE-OUT BREAKS. 361 00:16:18,711 --> 00:16:20,447 YEAH, THAT'S GOOD. 'CAUSE I'VE HEARD 362 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,549 FREQUENT BREAKS FROM THE COMPUTER PREVENT EYE STRAIN 363 00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:24,551 AND OTHER KINDS OF STRAIN. 364 00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:28,388 OH, YEAH. IN FACT, IT'S GOOD TO START WITH A BREAK RIGHT AWAY. 365 00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:31,958 HEY, I GOT IT! THE NAME FOR YOUR BLOG. 366 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,393 GIVE UP ALREADY. 367 00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:35,228 "LENNOX EXPLAINS IT ALL." 368 00:16:35,262 --> 00:16:37,697 THAT'S... REALLY GOOD. 369 00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:39,399 - YEAH. - TOTALLY ORIGINAL. 370 00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:41,234 - IT'D BE GREAT, HUH? - YEAH, IT'S GREAT. 371 00:16:41,268 --> 00:16:42,402 NOW GET OUT. 372 00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:44,737 WHERE WERE WE? 373 00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:46,339 OH YEAH, EYE BREAK. 374 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,755 I WAS SO EMBARRASSED AFTER THAT FIRST DATE. 375 00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:05,092 I BARELY HAD THE COURAGE TO ASK YOU OUT AGAIN, 376 00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:08,195 SO I TEXTED REAL FAST BEFORE I LOST MY NERVE. 377 00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:11,331 YEAH, WELL, I'M GLAD YOU DID. YOU KNOW, EVERYBODY DESERVES A SECOND CHANCE. 378 00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:12,665 YOU'RE RIGHT. 379 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:16,303 SO I AM GOING TO GIVE THIS TOMATILLO SAUCE 380 00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:18,171 ONE MORE SHOT. 381 00:17:18,205 --> 00:17:19,639 AH, TOO HOT, TOO HOT, TOO HOT. 382 00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:22,742 YEAH, YOU KNOW, THAT EXTRA MILD WILL GET YOU EVERY TIME. 383 00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:25,145 ( slow music playing ) 384 00:17:25,178 --> 00:17:28,481 HEY, YOU WANT TO DANCE? 385 00:17:28,515 --> 00:17:30,383 REALLY? YOU SURE? 386 00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:31,718 YEAH. 387 00:17:31,751 --> 00:17:34,187 - YOU DON'T HAVE TO. - I WANT TO. 388 00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:40,360 OOH, THIS IS THE RUMBA. COME ON, WE HAVE TO DANCE TO THIS ONE. 389 00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:42,462 I NEED TO SIT DOWN. THAT'S ENOUGH FOR ME. 390 00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:45,298 - NO NO NO, JUST ONE MORE. ONE MORE. - I DID IT ONCE, OKAY? 391 00:17:45,332 --> 00:17:47,334 LOOK, I DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO COME HERE TONIGHT. 392 00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:50,803 I KNOW, I KNOW. BUT SEEING AS WE DID EVERYTHING YOU WANTED TO DO 393 00:17:50,837 --> 00:17:52,639 ON ALL OF OUR OTHER DATES, I THINK IT'S ONLY FAIR 394 00:17:52,672 --> 00:17:56,409 THAT YOU DO WHAT I WANT TO DO TONIGHT, GIVE MY CHOICE A TRY. 395 00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:58,811 WELL, I TRIED IT AND I DIDN'T LIKE IT. 396 00:17:58,845 --> 00:18:00,813 YOU SURE ABOUT THAT? 397 00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:04,217 I SAW YOU SMILING OUT THERE. I THINK YOU LIKED IT. 398 00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:08,155 JOE, I WAS SMILING TO BE POLITE. 399 00:18:08,188 --> 00:18:10,357 NOTICE I AM NO LONGER SMILING. 400 00:18:10,390 --> 00:18:12,292 I'M GONNA GO HOME NOW. 401 00:18:12,325 --> 00:18:14,461 - WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE, DON'T... - IT'S OVER, JOE LONGO. 402 00:18:16,363 --> 00:18:17,397 ARIEL? 403 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,403 WHAT JUST HAPPENED? 404 00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,672 - MEL? - YEAH? 405 00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:28,608 - HOLDING YOU CLOSE LIKE THIS... - YES, CLARK? 406 00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:31,444 - ...AND LOOKING INTO YOUR EYES... - I THINK I FEEL IT TOO. 407 00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:33,713 ...I MISS MY WIFE SO MUCH. 408 00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:36,183 YOUR EX-WIFE, CLARK. 409 00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:37,484 NO, MAYBE NOT. YOU SAID YOURSELF, 410 00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:39,186 EVERYONE DESERVES A SECOND CHANCE. 411 00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:41,254 WELL, YEAH, I SAID IT. I DIDN'T MEAN IT. 412 00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:44,424 I'M GONNA GO YELL OUTSIDE HER APARTMENT WINDOW RIGHT NOW. 413 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,393 SCREW THAT RESTRAINING ORDER! 414 00:18:46,426 --> 00:18:50,430 I'M THROWING MYSELF ON THE MERCY OF THE LOVE COURT! 415 00:18:52,399 --> 00:18:54,867 WOW, GUY'S GOT A REAL PROBLEM, HUH? 416 00:18:54,901 --> 00:18:56,869 - ( laughing ) - YEAH, YOU THINK? 417 00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:58,771 SO WHERE'S ARIEL? 418 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:02,309 OH, SHE HAD TO LEAVE. SHE HAD AN... AN EMERGENCY. 419 00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:03,610 WHAT KIND OF EMERGENCY? 420 00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:08,348 THE... THE NOT-LIKING-ME KIND. 421 00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:10,817 AH, GREAT. SO BOTH OUR DATES CRAPPED OUT 422 00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:12,885 AND THIS NIGHT'S GOING TO END AT 8:17. 423 00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:14,554 WELL, I'M NOT GOING HOME NOW. 424 00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:16,389 YEAH, THAT'D BE PATHETIC. 425 00:19:16,423 --> 00:19:20,193 SO SHOULD WE, LIKE, DANCE? 426 00:19:20,227 --> 00:19:23,430 WHY THE HELL NOT? 427 00:19:31,438 --> 00:19:33,172 YOU KNOW, JOE, I DON'T GET IT. 428 00:19:33,206 --> 00:19:35,408 WE WERE BOTH FIXED UP BY REALL SMART PEOPLE. 429 00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:37,410 EXPERTS WHO DID EVERYTHING EXACTLY RIGHT. 430 00:19:37,444 --> 00:19:40,913 YEAH, BUT I JUST SEEMED TO BRING OUT THE CRAZY IN CLARK. 431 00:19:40,947 --> 00:19:42,449 WELL, YOU DO HAVE A GIFT. 432 00:19:44,451 --> 00:19:47,487 YOU KNOW, THIS WHOLE FINDING-THE-RIGHT-PERSON THING IS REALLY HARD. 433 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,389 IT IS, IT IS. 434 00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:51,524 BUT YOU KNOW, THAT'S WHY YOU JUST HAVE TO KEEP TRYING. 435 00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:53,526 YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE SOMEWHERE OUT THERE IS A MAN 436 00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:56,162 WITH A VERY HIGH LEVEL OF TOLERANCE 437 00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:59,599 WHO WILL ONE DAY COME INTO YOUR LIFE AND SWEEP YOU OFF YOUR FEET... 438 00:20:01,301 --> 00:20:02,735 FLAWLESSLY. 439 00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:05,938 AW, JOE, THAT'S SO SWEET. 440 00:20:05,972 --> 00:20:08,441 AND, YOU KNOW, I'M SURE SOMEWHERE OUT THERE 441 00:20:08,475 --> 00:20:10,577 IS A WOMAN... PROBABLY A DEAF ONE... 442 00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:13,613 WHO WILL, YOU KNOW, BE WILLING TO PUT UP 443 00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:16,949 - WITH ALL THE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU SO YOU. - YEAH. 444 00:20:16,983 --> 00:20:18,618 - OW! - SORRY. 445 00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:20,720 WILL YOU STOP TRYING TO LEAD, PLEASE? JUST LET ME LEAD. 446 00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:22,755 THAT'S NOT LEADING. THAT'S SHOVING ME AROUND THE DANCE FLOOR. 447 00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:24,624 THE MAN LEADS, THE WOMAN FOLLOWS. THAT'S HOW IT WORKS 448 00:20:24,657 --> 00:20:26,659 - ON THE DANCE FLOOR. - OKAY, JUST SHUT UP AND DANCE. 449 00:20:39,472 --> 00:20:41,474 ( giggling ) 450 00:20:41,508 --> 00:20:42,509 - 'MORNING. - HI. 451 00:20:42,542 --> 00:20:44,611 SO? 452 00:20:44,644 --> 00:20:45,712 SEE YOU FRIDAY, JOE? 453 00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:46,946 ABSOLUTELY. 454 00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:51,017 - BYE. - BYE. 455 00:20:54,387 --> 00:20:56,689 BYE, PHIL. 456 00:20:58,691 --> 00:21:00,827 IS PHIL HER ASH DADDY? 457 00:21:00,860 --> 00:21:02,995 HE IS A REALLY GREAT GUY. 458 00:21:03,029 --> 00:21:05,498 JUST DON'T SNEEZE AROUND HIM.