1 00:00:06,707 --> 00:00:09,810 "MELISSA & JOEY" IS RECORDED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE. 2 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:12,213 WOW, JACKIE, THIS MIGHT BE THE HARDEST SHOPPING DECISION 3 00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:14,048 YOU'LL EVER HAVE TO MAKE. 4 00:00:14,082 --> 00:00:15,583 YEAH, NO RETURN POLICY ON THIS. 5 00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:18,586 WHAT ARE YOU GUYS BUYING? BOOTS? PURSES? 6 00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:20,821 SPERM FOR JACKIE'S BABY. 7 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,423 THAT IS NOT A PURSE. 8 00:00:22,456 --> 00:00:25,826 YOU KNOW, THIS ISN'T EXACTLY HOW I PICTURED MYSELF DOING THIS WHEN I WAS YOUNGER. 9 00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:28,462 I THINK IT'S GREAT. YEAH, I THINK IT'S ABOUT TIME WOMEN YOUR AGE 10 00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:30,598 STOPPED WAITING AND HOPING AND PRAYING 11 00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:33,467 FOR THE RIGHT MAN. 12 00:00:33,501 --> 00:00:35,603 EXACTLY HOW OLD DO YOU THINK WE ARE? 13 00:00:37,605 --> 00:00:40,074 ALL RIGHT, I GOT IT NARROWED DOWN TO TWO... 14 00:00:40,108 --> 00:00:43,244 V-117 AND L-245. 15 00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:44,778 CAN WE GIVE THEM NAMES, PLEASE? 16 00:00:44,812 --> 00:00:47,381 CALLING THEM BY NUMBER SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE ORDERING FROM A CHINESE RESTAURANT. 17 00:00:47,415 --> 00:00:49,150 HEY, NO NEED TO ORDER CHINESE 18 00:00:49,183 --> 00:00:51,552 WHEN YOU GOT... ITALIAN. 19 00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:53,521 HELLO, JACKIE. 20 00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:56,524 YOU SHOULD STICK AROUND. I'M GONNA POP A LITTLE SOMETHING IN THE OVEN. 21 00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:59,093 SO ARE YOU. 22 00:00:59,127 --> 00:01:00,628 OKAY, ALL RIGHT, 23 00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:04,498 L-245 IS "BLOND HAIR, NORDIC HERITAGE, ENGLISH TEACHER, 24 00:01:04,532 --> 00:01:06,267 PLAYS LEAD GUITAR IN LOCAL BAND." 25 00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:09,237 LARS... VAN HALEN. 26 00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:11,239 WHAT? 27 00:01:11,272 --> 00:01:12,640 - I'M JUST GIVING HIM A NAME. - ALL RIGHT. 28 00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:15,209 IN HIS PERSONAL STATEMENT, LARS SAYS, 29 00:01:15,243 --> 00:01:18,512 "LIFE IS A BLANK PAGE. I WRITE A POEM ON IT EVERY DAY." 30 00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:22,350 YOU DON'T FIND D.N.A. LIKE THAT SITTING ON A BAR STOOL. 31 00:01:22,383 --> 00:01:24,618 OKAY, AND BACHELOR ♪2... 32 00:01:24,652 --> 00:01:26,654 "EARLY 30s, ITALIAN AMERICAN." 33 00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:30,258 VINCENZO BOYARDEE. 34 00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:33,627 I'M GREAT AT THIS. I SHOULD HAVE MY OWN SPERM NAMING BUSINESS. 35 00:01:33,661 --> 00:01:35,529 - GO ON. - "IVY LEAGUE, 36 00:01:35,563 --> 00:01:37,531 FINANCIAL EXECUTIVE, SPEAKS JAPANESE." 37 00:01:37,565 --> 00:01:39,867 "EXTREMELY FIT, GREAT DANCER." 38 00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:42,503 JEEZ, VINCENZO COULD PASS FOR JOE. 39 00:01:42,536 --> 00:01:44,538 "SENSITIVE, GOOD LISTENER"... 40 00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:46,607 NOPE, DEFINITELY NOT JOE. 41 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,509 WELL, VINCENZO'S PRACTICALLY A CHEF. 42 00:01:48,542 --> 00:01:51,145 APPARENTLY, HIS SPICY PARMESAN DIAVOLO 43 00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:53,547 WILL BLOW YOU AWAY. 44 00:01:53,581 --> 00:01:55,683 WOW, ALL THIS MAN-SHOPPING'S MAKING ME REALLY HUNGRY. 45 00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:59,187 HEY, LONGO, WHAT'S ON THE MENU? 46 00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:01,589 A LITTLE SOMETHING I LIKE TO CALL SPICY PARMESAN DIAVOLO. 47 00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:05,593 TELL ME THAT'S A POPULAR ITALIAN DISH. 48 00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,661 NOPE, IT'S ALL MINE, 49 00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:09,730 AND IT WILL BLOW YOU AWAY. 50 00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:18,706 ( theme music playing ) 51 00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:20,641 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD - ♪ All good 52 00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:22,676 - ♪ IT'S OKAY - ♪ Okay 53 00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:24,345 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT - ♪ All right 54 00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:26,280 ♪ AS FAR AS I CAN SEE 55 00:02:26,314 --> 00:02:27,715 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD - ♪ All good 56 00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:29,917 - ♪ IT'S OKAY - ♪ Okay 57 00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:31,452 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT - ♪ All right 58 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:34,322 ♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK ♪ 59 00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:37,358 ♪ WITH ME ♪ 60 00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:42,663 THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME WITH THIS, MEL. 61 00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:45,233 I'LL LET YOU KNOW WHICH OF MY LITTLE SWIMMERS GETS THE GOLD MEDAL. 62 00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:46,634 BYE. 63 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,604 SO THAT DINNER SURE SMELLS GOOD. 64 00:02:50,638 --> 00:02:52,973 WOW, YOU REALLY ENJOY COOKING, DON'T YOU? 65 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:56,677 ALMOST AS MUCH AS YOU ENJOY STAYING FIT, SPEAKING JAPANESE, 66 00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:58,679 BEING ITALIAN. 67 00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:02,516 YOU LIKE WATCHING ME, DON'T YOU? 68 00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:04,752 YEAH, I WAS JUST THINKING, YOU KNOW, RANDOM THOUGHT. 69 00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:07,488 PEOPLE DO SOME STRANGE THINGS FOR MONEY, RIGHT? 70 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:10,558 LIKE, ONCE I WAS PAID 50 BUCKS TO DANCE IN A CAGE. 71 00:03:11,659 --> 00:03:14,762 IT WAS A FUNDRAISER FOR THE ZOO. 72 00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:16,364 SO HOW ABOUT YOU? 73 00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:19,233 WHAT'S THE MOST DEGRADING THING YOU EVER DID FOR MONEY? 74 00:03:20,268 --> 00:03:21,469 BY FAR, THIS. 75 00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:25,773 NO, SERIOUSLY. WHAT'S THE WACKIEST THING YOU EVER DID FOR CASH? 76 00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:27,007 LIKE, YOU EVER SELL ANYTHING FROM YOUR BODY? 77 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,343 BLOOD? HAIR? 78 00:03:29,377 --> 00:03:31,579 MALE REPRODUCTIVE STUFF? 79 00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:34,382 BURKE, I'M TRYING TO COOK HERE, OKAY? 80 00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:36,984 FUNNY STORY. YOU KNOW JACKIE WANTS TO HAVE A BABY 81 00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:40,754 AND SHE'S CONSIDERING A DONOR WHO JUST HAPPENS TO BE ITALIAN, 82 00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:43,624 IVY LEAGUE, EXTREMELY FIT... 83 00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:44,758 THAT COULD BE A LOT OF GUYS. 84 00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:47,361 ...AND HE MAKES A SPICY PARMESAN DIAVOLO 85 00:03:47,395 --> 00:03:49,830 THAT WILL BLOW YOU AWAY. 86 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,271 - YOU BLINKED! - OH BOY. 87 00:03:57,305 --> 00:03:59,273 I KNEW IT! YOU'RE VINCENZO! 88 00:03:59,307 --> 00:04:00,808 WHAT? WHAT? WHO? 89 00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:03,711 THAT'S WHAT WE NAMED THE CAN OF, YOU KNOW, 90 00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:05,846 YOU. 91 00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:11,652 COME ON, SPILL IT, VINCENZO. THEN AGAIN, YOU ALREADY HAVE. 92 00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:13,421 WELL, ALL RIGHT, FINE. 93 00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:15,723 FINE, IT WAS AFTER THE SCANDAL, AND I NEEDED SOME MONEY, OKAY? 94 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:18,426 SO THE SPERM BANK WEBSITE WAS VERY PERSUASIVE. 95 00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:20,761 IT SAID, "BE YOUR OWN BOSS, MAKE YOUR OWN HOURS." 96 00:04:22,830 --> 00:04:24,798 I DON'T KNOW. IT JUST KIND OF SUCKED ME IN. 97 00:04:24,832 --> 00:04:27,468 OH, WILL YOU GROW UP? 98 00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:28,769 WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? 99 00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:31,439 WHAT WAS I THINKING? I WAS THINKING ABOUT MAKING THE RENT, OKAY? 100 00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:34,875 OH, AND JESSICA ALBA. 101 00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:38,346 SO I JUST WOULD STOP BY THE CRYO PLACE 102 00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:39,613 WHENEVER I NEEDED SOME QUICK CASH. 103 00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:42,850 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MIGHT BE HAVING A KID WITH MY BEST FRIEND. 104 00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:45,453 WHAT? NO NO, THAT CANNOT HAPPEN, ALL RIGHT? 105 00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:47,821 YOU GOTTA TALK JACKIE OUT OF USING ME... IT... 106 00:04:47,855 --> 00:04:50,858 LIQUID LONGO. 107 00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:52,860 ABSOLUTELY, I'M GONNA DO THAT. 108 00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:55,729 THE LAST THING THIS TROUBLED WORLD NEEDS IS ANY MORE OF YOU. 109 00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:58,466 LOOK, WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT TELL HER IT'S ME, ALL RIGHT? 110 00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:02,403 BECAUSE HONESTLY, BURKE, THIS IS THE ONE THING IN MY LIFE I'M NOT PROUD OF. 111 00:05:02,436 --> 00:05:05,806 BUT YOU'RE OKAY BEING THE VICE PRESIDENT OF A COMPANY THAT LOST A BILLION DOLLARS? 112 00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:08,776 A BILLION DOLLARS, BURKE. 113 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:11,345 HOW MANY PEOPLE CAN SAY THAT? 114 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:18,886 AND THE GARAGE SALE WAS A TOTAL WASHOUT UNTIL WE FOUND... 115 00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:21,889 "THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE" BY C.S. LEWIS. 116 00:05:23,591 --> 00:05:26,627 WAIT, YOU PAID 50 BUCKS FOR A USED BOOK? 117 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,896 WHAT DOES IT DO, SHOOT LASERS? 118 00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:32,900 - IT'S A FIRST EDITION. - I BET I COULD FIND IT FOR LESS. 119 00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:36,470 IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT WE PAID FOR IT BECAUSE IT'S OUR FAVORITE BOOK. 120 00:05:36,504 --> 00:05:39,873 HE SAW ME READING IT ONE DAY AND HE SAID, "YOU KNOW THAT'S MY FAVORITE BOOK." 121 00:05:39,907 --> 00:05:43,110 YES, I DID. I SAID IT RIGHT TO HER. 122 00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:45,679 AND NOW IT'S THE FIRST THING WE EVER BOUGHT TOGETHER. 123 00:05:45,713 --> 00:05:48,949 - YES, IT IS, BABY-BOO. - YOU ARE RIGHT, BOO-BABY. 124 00:05:50,651 --> 00:05:52,386 HEY, CHECK THIS OUT. 125 00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:55,589 THIS AUCTION SITE SAYS THAT YOUR BOOK IS WORTH $1,500. 126 00:05:55,623 --> 00:05:57,591 NO WAY, THAT'S GREAT. WE'RE RICH! 127 00:05:57,625 --> 00:05:59,126 YEAH, IN THEORY. 128 00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:02,763 AND IN CASH. HERE'S ONE THAT JUST WENT FOR $2,000. 129 00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:04,832 NOW WAY, WOW! WE COULD BUY MATCHING VESPAS 130 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:07,167 AND HAVE ENOUGH LEFT OVER FOR AN XBOX. 131 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,869 ARE YOU SERIOUS? YOU'D SELL IT? 132 00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:11,505 SURE, YEAH, THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY. 133 00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:13,941 WHAT DOES THAT MATTER? THIS IS C.S. LEWIS. 134 00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:17,445 LENNOX, COME ON, IF C.S. LEWIS WERE HERE RIGHT NOW, 135 00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:20,414 SHE'D SAY "SELL IT." 136 00:06:20,448 --> 00:06:21,815 "SHE"? 137 00:06:21,849 --> 00:06:23,917 HERE WE GO. 138 00:06:23,951 --> 00:06:27,655 C.S. LEWIS IS A MAN. DID YOU EVEN READ THE BOOK? 139 00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:31,659 SURE, DUH. YEAH, IT'S OUR FAVORITE BOOK. 140 00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:34,828 OH, REALLY? WELL, THEN TELL ME ABOUT NARNIA. 141 00:06:34,862 --> 00:06:36,964 SHE'S THE LITTLE GIRL. 142 00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:38,832 THE COWARDLY LION. 143 00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:41,502 - OH, MY GOD! - SIMBA'S DAD? 144 00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:43,671 BAD ROAD, MAN. 145 00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:45,839 YOU LIED TO ME. YOU NEVER READ IT. 146 00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:48,742 I TRIED, BUT THERE WERE NO GUNS, AND I KEPT FALLING ASLEEP. 147 00:06:48,776 --> 00:06:50,978 AND THEN I RENTED THE MOVIE, BUT THEY PUT THE WRONG DISC IN, 148 00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:54,848 SO I WATCHED "ANCHORMAN." NOW THAT IS A GREAT STORY. 149 00:06:55,983 --> 00:06:58,986 ( emphatically ) JUST STOP TALKING. 150 00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:01,522 YOU SAID YOU LOVED LITERATURE. 151 00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:03,457 YEAH, I WAS TRYING TO SHARE YOUR INTERESTS. 152 00:07:03,491 --> 00:07:04,758 LOOK, HOW ABOUT WE JUST SELL THE BOOK, 153 00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:07,561 SPLIT THE MONEY AND THEN GO BACK TO THE WAY THINGS WERE BEFORE? 154 00:07:07,595 --> 00:07:08,796 THINGS CANNOT GO BACK TO THE WAY THEY WERE BEFORE, 155 00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:12,232 BECAUSE YOUR HATRED OF BOOKS HAS CHANGED THINGS FOREVER. 156 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:15,636 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE MAKING SUCH A BIG DEAL OUT OF THIS. CALM DOWN. 157 00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:18,005 YOU WANT ME TO "CALM DOWN"? OH, I'LL CALM DOWN. 158 00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:20,608 - SHE'S NOT GONNA CALM DOWN. - ( door opens ) 159 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:28,616 CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT GUY? 160 00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:30,951 BOOKSELLING BASTARD. 161 00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:38,926 - OKAY, I WANT YOU TO BE THE FIRST TO KNOW IT'S LARS... - OH! 162 00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,894 ...WHO GETS DISCARDED. 163 00:07:40,928 --> 00:07:43,597 - WHAT? - YEP, VINCENZO GETS THE GOLD. 164 00:07:43,631 --> 00:07:45,999 WAIT, NO NO NO. LOOK, YOU HAVEN'T GIVEN LARS A FAIR SHAKE. 165 00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:48,736 HE'S A MIDDLE SCHOOL ENGLISH TEACHER. 166 00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:50,738 HOW HOT IS THAT? 167 00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:54,575 SORRY, I WOKE UP THIS MORNING JUST REALLY FEELING VINCENZO. 168 00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:57,911 OKAY OKAY, YOU WANT AN ITALIAN, THERE'S FOUR OF 'EM IN HERE. 169 00:07:57,945 --> 00:08:01,048 YOU COULD GET 'EM ALL, MAKE YOUR OWN HOUSE BLEND. 170 00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:03,917 NO, I'M A PURIST. I'M STICKING WITH VINCENZO. 171 00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:07,054 I LIKE THE WHOLE PACKAGE. I LIKE WHO HE IS. 172 00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:09,923 NO NO, YOU DON'T. YOU DEFINITELY DON'T, 173 00:08:09,957 --> 00:08:12,025 'CAUSE... 'CAUSE... 174 00:08:12,059 --> 00:08:14,528 VINCENZO IS JOE! 175 00:08:14,562 --> 00:08:15,963 - WHICH JOE? - MY JOE. NANNY JOE. 176 00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:18,766 YOU KNOW, NOT-A-GOOD-CHOICE- FOR-A-FATHER JOE. 177 00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:21,802 JOE. WOW. 178 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,871 I KNOW, RIGHT? CLOSE CALL. 179 00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:27,107 YOU DON'T HAVE TO THANK ME, BUT YOU CAN. 180 00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:29,610 NO, REALLY, YOU CAN. 181 00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:34,047 MEL, THE REASON I WAS HAVING A HARD TIME PICKING ONE OF THESE ANONYMOUS DONORS 182 00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:36,049 IS 'CAUSE OF ALL THE UNKNOWNS, 183 00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:38,886 BUT NOW I KNOW IT'S JOE. 184 00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:41,622 OH, YOU'VE PUT A FACE ON THAT SPERM. 185 00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:44,925 BUT IT'S JOE'S FACE, JOE'S SMUG LITTLE FACE. 186 00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:46,860 YES, THANK YOU, MEL. 187 00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:49,062 YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE REALLY EASED MY MIND ABOUT THIS. 188 00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:51,732 HEY, JOE IT IS. 189 00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:57,104 OH JOY. MY NANNY IS SPAWNING. 190 00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:05,579 - HEY. - HEY. ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE BACK FROM JACKIE. 191 00:09:05,613 --> 00:09:07,347 - HOW DID EVERYTHING GO? - ( sighs ) 192 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,983 SOMETIMES THERE'S NO TALKING TO WOMEN. 193 00:09:10,017 --> 00:09:12,085 BURKE, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO STOP HER. 194 00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:16,089 YEAH, I TRIED, BUT HER UTERUS IS LIKE A FREIGHT TRAIN. 195 00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:18,692 OKAY, THAT'S IT. WE HAVE TO PULL OUT ALL THE STOPS HERE. 196 00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:22,696 YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION TO GO NUCLEAR. YOU TELL JACKIE THAT I AM VINCENZO. 197 00:09:22,730 --> 00:09:25,032 I DID, BUT THAT DOOMSDAY DEVICE DIDN'T DETONATE. 198 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:27,935 JACKIE IS DETERMINED TO HAVE A BABY-YOU 199 00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:31,071 IN A SKINTIGHT ONESIE, BENCH-PRESSING HIS RATTLE. 200 00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:33,006 I DON'T WANT TO HAVE A BABY WITH JACKIE, ALL RIGHT? 201 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:35,643 IF I'M GONNA HAVE A BABY, I DON'T WANNA KNOW WHO THE MOTHER IS. 202 00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:38,378 OH, AND THEY SAY ROMANCE IS DEAD. 203 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:40,080 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, ALL RIGHT? 204 00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:42,149 'CAUSE IF JACKIE HAS MY BABY, IT'S BOUND TO HAPPEN 205 00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:44,051 SHE'S GONNA BRING THE BABY OVER HERE, 206 00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:47,921 AND OF COURSE IT'S GONNA BE JUST SO FRIGGIN' ADORABLE. 207 00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:51,391 OKAY, NEW PLAN... YOU GO DOWN TO THE CRYO BANK 208 00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:55,162 AND BUY BACK ALL YOUR... CRYO. 209 00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:57,631 BUY BACK MY OWN STUFF? 210 00:09:57,665 --> 00:10:00,067 HOW'S THAT GONNA LOOK, HUH? 211 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:03,671 TELL THEM IT'S A RECALL. YOU JUST DISCOVERED YOU HAVE A GENETIC DEFECT. 212 00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:06,173 YOU KNOW, YOU WERE BORN WITH YOUR HEAD UP YOUR ASS. 213 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,977 DID YOU KNOW MEN ARE HORRIBLE? 214 00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:13,080 I INVENTED "MEN ARE HORRIBLE." WHAT CLUED YOU IN? 215 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,783 HASKELL PRETENDED TO LIKE SOMETHING JUST BECAUSE I LIKE IT. 216 00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:19,086 HONEY, THAT'S GREAT! THAT'S THE GOAL. 217 00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:23,056 ONLY SOMEONE WHO REALLY LIKED YOU WOULD GO THROUGH THE TROUBLE OF FAKING THAT. 218 00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:25,092 YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. HE WANTS TO SELL OUR BOOK, 219 00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:27,928 BECAUSE MONEY MEANS MORE TO HIM THAN I DO. 220 00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:31,164 I'M SURE THAT'S NOT TRUE. YOU JUST GOTTA GIVE HIM A CHANCE TO PROVE IT. 221 00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:35,068 BUT WOULDN'T THAT BE MANIPULATIVE, IN AN EVIL GIRL SORT OF WAY? 222 00:10:35,102 --> 00:10:37,070 OH, WELL, I WOULD NEVER SUGGEST YOU DO THAT. 223 00:10:37,104 --> 00:10:39,006 BECAUSE IT WOULD BE WRONG. 224 00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:41,809 - VERY WRONG. - ( cell phone whistles ) 225 00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:44,011 TWEET FROM JACKIE. 226 00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:46,413 "CONGRATULATE ME, EVERYBODY. TODAY IS BABY-MAKING DAY 227 00:10:46,446 --> 00:10:48,949 AND I'M GOING SHOPPING FOR THE SECRET INGREDIENT." 228 00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,718 OH MY GOD! 229 00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:58,125 JACKIE, STOP. AM I TOO LATE? 230 00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:02,062 DID YOU ALREADY BUY THE... AWW, LOOK AT THE BABY PICTURES. 231 00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:04,064 YOU'RE SO... 232 00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:07,100 SORRY, BIG BLAST OF HORMONES. OKAY, I'M FOCUSED. 233 00:11:07,134 --> 00:11:09,202 MEL, MY MIND'S MADE UP. 234 00:11:09,236 --> 00:11:12,706 I KNOW YOU THINK THAT, BUT... AWW, THERE'S TWINS! 235 00:11:12,740 --> 00:11:15,242 AREN'T YOU THE CUTEST LITTLE THING? 236 00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:17,878 I'M GOOD. I'M GOOD. WE'RE TALKING ABOUT JOE. 237 00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:20,881 JOE. YOU KNOW, YOUR BABY'S FIRST WORDS WILL BE, 238 00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:24,718 "YOU KNOW WHAT THIS BREAST MILK NEEDS? A LITTLE BASIL." 239 00:11:24,752 --> 00:11:27,187 - I'VE ALREADY PUT IN MY ORDER. - JACQUELINE MILLER? 240 00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,757 YES, I AM JACQUELINE MILLER, AND I'VE CHANGED MY MIND. 241 00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:31,759 NO GENETIC MATERIAL FOR ME TODAY. 242 00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:33,961 EVERYONE ELSE CAN FILL 'ER UP. 243 00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:36,263 MEL. I'M JACQUELINE MILLER. 244 00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:40,200 I'M SORRY, BUT THE DONOR YOU'RE INTERESTED IN IS NO LONGER AVAILABLE. 245 00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:43,737 REALLY?! I MEAN, REALLY? 246 00:11:43,771 --> 00:11:45,238 BUT I WANTED HIM. 247 00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:47,007 SO DOES A COUPLE THAT WANTS A LARGE FAMILY. 248 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,276 THEY BOUGHT OUT OUR ENTIRE SUPPLY LAST WEEK. 249 00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:52,012 WOULD YOU LIKE TO CHOOSE ANOTHER DONOR? 250 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,280 NO. 251 00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:57,150 NO, I'VE HAD MY HEART SET ON VINCENZO. 252 00:11:57,184 --> 00:11:59,887 HONEY, IT'S OKAY. 253 00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:03,156 SOME DAY YOUR PRINCE WILL COME... ALONG. 254 00:12:03,190 --> 00:12:05,158 ALONG. 255 00:12:25,879 --> 00:12:28,281 YOU'RE OFF THE HOOK. CHEERS! 256 00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:32,152 YAY! YES! THANK YOU, BURKE. I OWE YOU. 257 00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:33,553 IT WASN'T JUST ME. 258 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:36,189 SOME OTHER COUPLE BEAT JACKIE TO YOUR ENTIRE STOCK. 259 00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:38,358 SO I WAS... 260 00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:42,329 SOLD OUT? ( clears throat ) 261 00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:46,333 YES, YOU WERE ON BACK-ORDER. 262 00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:48,936 THAT'S KIND OF COOL. 263 00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:51,872 - COOL? - YEAH, I MEAN, I MAY NEVER MEET THE RIGHT WOMAN, 264 00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:55,242 SO THIS MAY BE THE ONLY WAY FOR ME TO PASS ON TO MANKIND 265 00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:58,078 THE GIFT OF ME. 266 00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:02,082 MANKIND MIGHT PREFER TO EXCHANGE YOU FOR A NICE SWEATER. 267 00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:05,085 YEAH? THAT COUPLE KNEW A GOOD FATHER WHEN THEY SAW ONE. 268 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:07,354 YOU'RE NOT A FATHER. YOU'RE GENETIC MATERIAL. 269 00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:10,090 I DON'T SEE A BIG RUN ON TO THE BANKS TO GET TO YOUR EGGS. 270 00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:13,293 THAT'S BECAUSE I KEEP MY REPRODUCTIVE STUFF RIGHT HERE WHERE NOBODY CAN GET AT IT. 271 00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:17,030 SOME OF US HAVE RESPECT FOR OUR BODIES. 272 00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:21,902 OH MY GOD, THAT IS LOVE IN A CAN. 273 00:13:23,003 --> 00:13:24,972 WHAT'S JACKIE GONNA DO NOW? 274 00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:27,274 YOU KNOW, SHE'LL MOVE ON. SHE'LL REGROUP. 275 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,142 SHE'S VERY RESOURCEFUL. 276 00:13:29,176 --> 00:13:32,312 LET'S PLAY CHARADES. WHO AM I? 277 00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:43,991 ( doorbell rings ) 278 00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:45,192 YEAH. 279 00:13:45,225 --> 00:13:48,295 OH HEY, JACKIE. MEL'S NOT HERE. 280 00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:52,065 I'M NOT ACTUALLY LOOKING FOR MEL. 281 00:13:52,099 --> 00:13:53,967 OH? 282 00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:01,274 AREN'T YOU GONNA ASK ME IN? 283 00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:05,145 PLEASE COME IN. 284 00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:09,216 I'M SURE MEL TOLD YOU HOW DISAPPOINTED I WAS THAT YOUR STOCK WAS SOLD OUT. 285 00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:11,318 YEAH, THAT'S THE FREE MARKET FOR YOU... 286 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:15,022 YOU KNOW, SUPPLY AND DEMAND. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? 287 00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:16,957 DEMAND MORE SUPPLY, 288 00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:19,392 MAYBE SEE WHEN THE NEXT SHIPMENT IS EXPECTED. 289 00:14:19,426 --> 00:14:21,161 YEAH, I DON'T THINK I'M GONNA BE GOING DOWN 290 00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:24,097 TO THE CRYO BANK ANY TIME SOON. 291 00:14:24,131 --> 00:14:25,332 WHAT DO YOU SAY WE JUST CUT OUT THE MIDDLEMAN 292 00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:28,035 AND GO DIRECT TO THE MANUFACTURER? 293 00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:32,172 HELLO, MANUFACTURER. 294 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,241 ACTUALLY, JACKIE, 295 00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:38,078 THAT FACTORY'S BEEN SHUT DOWN. 296 00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:41,448 ACTUALLY, NO, IT STILL WORKS. IT STILL WORKS VERY WELL, 297 00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:44,017 BUT IT'S BEING A LITTLE MORE SELECTIVE NOW, 298 00:14:44,051 --> 00:14:47,054 YOU KNOW, STRICTLY FOR PRIVATE EVENTS. 299 00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:50,223 SO I'M POSITIVE, THOUGH, THERE ARE PLENTY OF OTHER GUYS OUT THERE 300 00:14:50,257 --> 00:14:51,458 THAT'D BE WILLING TO HELP YOU OUT. 301 00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:54,461 I DON'T WANT ANY OTHER GUYS. 302 00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:56,964 I WANT YOU, JOE LONGO. 303 00:14:57,998 --> 00:15:01,168 THIRSTY? 304 00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:03,303 'CAUSE I SUDDENLY JUST BECAME REALLY PARCHED. 305 00:15:07,274 --> 00:15:10,043 SO CAN I GET YOU WATER OR SODA OR SOMETHING? 306 00:15:10,077 --> 00:15:13,113 HOW ABOUT A CUP OF JOE? 307 00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:16,283 THAT'S A LITTLE DOUBLE THING THERE, HUH? 308 00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:21,721 COME ON, DON'T YOU WANT PART OF YOU TO LIVE ON FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS? 309 00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:24,224 I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT. 310 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:27,294 I WANT PERFECTION AND YOU PRACTICALLY HAVE IT. 311 00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:29,396 NO, JACKIE, PLEASE, I'M FLATTERED THAT YOU THINK I'M... 312 00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,398 "PRACTICALLY"? 313 00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:35,302 YOU KNOW WHAT? NO, I JUST DON'T THINK THAT THIS IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO. 314 00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:37,304 OKAY, ALL RIGHT, I UNDERSTAND. 315 00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:39,439 LOOK, YOU NEED A LITTLE TIME TO THINK ABOUT IT. 316 00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:43,210 IS THERE A PLACE WE COULD GO THAT'S A LITTLE MORE PRIVATE? 317 00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:45,312 TO TALK. 318 00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:47,314 YOU WANNA TALK? 319 00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:49,282 REAL BAD. 320 00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:55,022 I'M GLAD YOU CALLED. I KNOW HOW MAD YOU WERE. 321 00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:57,490 I WAS, BUT I NEEDED TO SEE YOU. 322 00:15:57,524 --> 00:16:00,327 IN THE GARAGE, NEAR POWER TOOLS? 323 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,329 ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE STILL NOT MAD? 324 00:16:02,362 --> 00:16:04,331 NOT AT ALL. I'VE BEEN THINKING. 325 00:16:04,364 --> 00:16:06,133 IF YOU WANNA SELL THE BOOK AND I WANNA KEEP IT, 326 00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:08,301 THEN THERE'S ONLY WAY TO RESOLVE THIS... 327 00:16:08,335 --> 00:16:09,769 DIVIDE IT EVENLY. 328 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:13,040 - THE MONEY? - NO, THE BOOK. 329 00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:15,075 - ( saw whirring ) - CUT IT IN HALF. 330 00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:19,546 WAIT, NO NO! LENNOX, STOP. 331 00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:23,516 I WANT YOU TO HAVE THE BOOK. MAYBE I'M NOT INTO POETRY OR FICTION AS MUCH AS YOU ARE, 332 00:16:23,550 --> 00:16:26,286 BUT I JUST WANTED TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. 333 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,321 ALL I WANT IS FOR YOU TO BE HAPPY. 334 00:16:28,355 --> 00:16:30,423 ALL I WANT IS FOR ME TO BE HAPPY. 335 00:16:30,457 --> 00:16:32,525 SEE? WE'RE BOTH INTERESTED IN THE SAME THING. 336 00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:35,262 AW, YOU PASS WITH FLYING COLORS. 337 00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:37,064 WAIT. THIS WAS A TEST? 338 00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:39,399 NO, THAT WOULD BE WRONG. 339 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:44,304 BUT LUCKILY, HASKELL PASSED THE TEST... NOT THAT IT WAS A TEST, 340 00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:47,240 BUT IT WAS A TEST. A BIG TEST. 341 00:16:47,274 --> 00:16:49,176 YOU TOOK A PRETTY BIG GAMBLE. 342 00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:52,212 IF HE HADN'T STOPPED YOU, YOU'D HAVE DESTROYED YOUR PRECIOUS BOOK. 343 00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:54,547 YEAH, I CAME VERY CLOSE TO DESTROYING THIS COPY 344 00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:57,284 OF "THE SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING PANTS," 345 00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:59,819 IN ESPANOL. 346 00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,455 WOW, YOU'RE DIABOLICAL. 347 00:17:02,489 --> 00:17:05,325 SI. MUY DIABOLICA. 348 00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:08,795 LOOK WHAT SOMEONE ♪ BOUGHT ME. 349 00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:11,198 EXPENSIVE NEW SHOES. 350 00:17:11,231 --> 00:17:13,166 OOH, WHO GOT THEM FOR YOU? 351 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,834 I DID. 352 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:17,304 OH, SOMETIMES I THINK I'M SPOILING ME. 353 00:17:17,337 --> 00:17:21,108 - IS THERE AN OCCASION? - YES, I HAVE PRETTY FEET. 354 00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:24,077 AND SOMETHING VERY BAD DID NOT HAPPEN TODAY. 355 00:17:24,111 --> 00:17:28,081 - WHAT? - IT WOULD BE INAPPROPRIATE FOR ME TO TELL YOU. 356 00:17:28,115 --> 00:17:29,549 LET'S JUST SAY TRUST ME 357 00:17:29,582 --> 00:17:32,152 AND BE HAPPY FOR ALL OF US. 358 00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:35,422 - ( cell phone whistles ) - ANOTHER TWEET FROM JACKIE. 359 00:17:35,455 --> 00:17:37,357 "OKAY, FOLKS, TRYING AGAIN FOR A BABY. 360 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,592 THIS TIME THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY." 361 00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:45,232 I SHOULD PROBABLY READ THESE IN MY HEAD BEFORE I SAY THEM OUT LOUD. 362 00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:48,368 SO JACKIE'S HOOKING UP WITH A NEW GUY? 363 00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:51,571 BACK IN THE SADDLE, RIDING THE RANGE. 364 00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:54,241 OKAY OKAY, YES YES. 365 00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:55,375 HOW'D SHE FIND SOMEBODY SO QUICKLY? 366 00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:57,644 OH, YOU KNOW JACKIE. YOU CAN'T KEEP HER AWAY FROM MEN. 367 00:17:57,677 --> 00:18:01,381 SHE'S ALWAYS LEAVING HER JACKET PLACES. 368 00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:03,516 AND HER PURSE. 369 00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:05,285 HOLY CRAP! 370 00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:09,422 THIS IS NOTHING SIGNIFICANT. 371 00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:11,358 AT ALL. 372 00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:16,429 ( jazz music playing ) 373 00:18:16,463 --> 00:18:19,466 TELL ME WHAT YOU LOOKED LIKE AS A BABY. 374 00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:22,435 JACKIE, I CAN'T LIE... 375 00:18:22,469 --> 00:18:24,371 I WAS ADORABLE. 376 00:18:24,404 --> 00:18:26,406 SO WAS I. 377 00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:28,341 THIS KID WOULD HAVE LIKE A 100% CHANCE 378 00:18:28,375 --> 00:18:31,478 OF BEING THE MOST GORGEOUS BABY EVER CONCEIVED. 379 00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:33,480 YEAH, I GUESS IT'S REALLY JUST MATH. 380 00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:35,448 YOU CAN'T DENY THE WORLD THAT. 381 00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:38,418 JOE, THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE PURE SENSUAL PLEASURE 382 00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:39,552 BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE. 383 00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:42,322 ALTHOUGH THERE IS THAT. 384 00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:45,158 BUT THIS IS ABOUT DOING WHAT'S BEST 385 00:18:45,192 --> 00:18:46,493 FOR MANKIND. 386 00:18:46,526 --> 00:18:49,262 YEAH, MANKIND. 387 00:18:49,296 --> 00:18:51,898 I MEAN, I LOVE MANKIND. 388 00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:54,501 - MANKIND ROCKS. - YEAH. 389 00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:56,503 JACKIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 390 00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:58,305 OVULATING. GET OUT! 391 00:18:58,338 --> 00:18:59,706 I NEED TO TALK TO JOE, OKAY? 392 00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:02,309 SO PUT YOUR EGGS BACK IN YOUR PANTS. 393 00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:04,177 ( music stops ) 394 00:19:04,211 --> 00:19:05,478 DON'T YOU SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING? 395 00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:07,447 YEAH, WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT IT. IT'S VERY SIMPLE, BURKE. 396 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,616 IT JUST BOILS DOWN TO FUTURE GENERATIONS, 397 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:14,187 MATH AND POSSIBLY THE WORLD'S HOTTEST BABY. 398 00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:15,622 THIS IS NOT THE WAY YOU DO THIS. 399 00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:17,624 I WAS THINKING ABOUT THAT AND IF I'M GONNA HAVE A BABY, 400 00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,426 THIS MAY BE THE BEST WAY FOR ME TO DO IT. 401 00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:21,494 BECOMING A PARENT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU DO ON IMPULSE, 402 00:19:21,528 --> 00:19:23,563 LIKE BUYING HUBBA BUBBA AT THE CHECKOUT COUNTER. 403 00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:26,433 - JOE HAS ALREADY MADE UP HIS MIND. - JACKIE, I'LL HANDLE THIS. 404 00:19:26,466 --> 00:19:28,635 LOOK, IF I'M GONNA HAVE A BABY, IT'S GONNA BE MY CHOICE 405 00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,603 AND NOBODY ELSE'S, 406 00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:33,573 EXCEPT, YOU KNOW, MAYBE THE OTHER PERSON. 407 00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:36,376 AND THAT OTHER PERSON IS STANDING RIGHT HERE. 408 00:19:36,409 --> 00:19:38,345 JACKIE, IF THIS IS MEANT TO HAPPEN, IT CAN HAPPEN TOMORROW. 409 00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:41,414 NO, NUH-UH, MY FERTILITY APP SAYS TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT. 410 00:19:41,448 --> 00:19:42,549 COME ON, JOE. 411 00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:45,652 YOU'RE REALLY GONNA KEEP ALL THIS PERFECTION TO YOURSELF? 412 00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:47,620 SHE'S REALLY MAKING A LOT OF SENSE HERE. 413 00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:49,456 SHE'S JUST USING YOU. 414 00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:51,591 MEL, THIS IS BETWEEN JOE AND ME. 415 00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:54,761 OKAY, THE REAL REASON YOU CAN'T DO THIS IS BECAUSE 416 00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:57,497 I WANNA HAVE JOE'S BABY. 417 00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,332 - WHAT?! - I GOT THIS. 418 00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:02,535 WHAT? 419 00:20:02,569 --> 00:20:04,637 JOE, I WANT WHAT YOU'VE GOT. 420 00:20:04,671 --> 00:20:07,574 I'VE ALWAYS WANTED 421 00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:10,677 TO HAVE YOUR PERFECT BABY. 422 00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:12,479 MEL, I HAD NO IDEA. 423 00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:14,481 NEITHER DID I. 424 00:20:14,514 --> 00:20:16,516 THOUGH, I GET IT. 425 00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:19,419 JACKIE, I'M SORRY. YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND. I SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU. 426 00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:21,554 NO NO, I'M SORRY. 427 00:20:21,588 --> 00:20:24,457 IF I HAD KNOWN, I WOULD HAVE NEVER GONE AFTER JOE. 428 00:20:24,491 --> 00:20:27,527 I MEAN, YOU KNEW HIM FIRST SO, YOU KNOW, HE'S YOURS. 429 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:31,431 WELL, IF YOU HURRY, I THINK YOU CAN STILL GET SOME LARS BEFORE THE BANK CLOSES. 430 00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:33,600 YEAH, I GUESS I SHOULD MOVE ON. 431 00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:37,604 I MEAN, I'VE GOT A FEW MORE GOOD HOURS AND A FEW MORE GOOD EGGS LEFT. 432 00:20:37,637 --> 00:20:40,273 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? NO TIME TO WASTE. 433 00:20:40,307 --> 00:20:43,576 THANKS, MEL. OH, JOE, GOOD TIMES. 434 00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:48,681 BURKE, WHAT YOU WERE JUST SAYING... 435 00:20:48,715 --> 00:20:50,617 WOW, JACKIE IS SO GULLIBLE! 436 00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:53,586 ME WANTING YOU? PFFT! 437 00:20:54,654 --> 00:20:57,690 YEAH YEAH, PFFT! I SHOULD HAVE... I MEAN... 438 00:20:57,724 --> 00:20:59,826 I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW I KEPT A STRAIGHT FACE THERE, BUT I KNEW WHAT YOU WERE DOING. 439 00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:01,661 I WAS FOLLOWING RIGHT ALONG WITH YOU. 440 00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:03,830 LIKE I'D EVER WANNA HAVE YOUR BABY. 441 00:21:03,863 --> 00:21:06,866 LIKE I'D EVER LET YOU HAVE MY BABY. 442 00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:11,738 ( laughing ) 443 00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,840 - ALL RIGHT. - ALL RIGHT. 444 00:21:24,484 --> 00:21:27,320 HEY, GUYS. 445 00:21:27,354 --> 00:21:29,589 EVERYBODY COMFY? 446 00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:31,658 REST UP FOR THE BIG RACE. 447 00:21:31,691 --> 00:21:34,561 MOMMY LOVES YOU. 448 00:21:35,662 --> 00:21:37,830 AH! 449 00:21:37,864 --> 00:21:40,500 OKAY, I'M GONNA OFFICIALLY CALL THAT A NIGHTMARE.