1 00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:09,743 "MELISSA & JOEY" IS RECORDED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE. 2 00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:12,646 - UGH. - IT'S MY MONEY AND I'M GONNA USE IT HOW I WANT. 3 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:14,215 LOOK, MAN, I'M NOT JUDGING. I'M JUST SAYING THAT 4 00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:16,117 WHAT YOU WANT TO DO WITH IT IS INCREDIBLY STUPID. 5 00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:18,018 WHICH IS YOUR OPINION... 6 00:00:18,052 --> 00:00:20,354 - AS A BUSINESSMAN. - WHO MAKES MY LUNCH. 7 00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:23,524 DON'T YOU GO THERE, BOY. 8 00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:27,395 YOU REALLY WANNA MESS WITH THE GUY WHO DECIDES WHAT GOES IN YOUR SANDWICH? 9 00:00:27,428 --> 00:00:29,163 ALL RIGHT, YOU TWO, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? 10 00:00:29,197 --> 00:00:30,664 THERE IS NO ARGUING IN THIS HOUSE. 11 00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:32,566 - BUT, JOE... - ALL RIGHT, SHUT IT. 12 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:35,069 COME ON, SERIOUSLY. JOE DOESN'T "APPROVE" 13 00:00:35,103 --> 00:00:38,772 OF THE WAY I'M INVESTING MY $1,000 THAT I INHERITED FROM GREAT AUNT FLORENCE. 14 00:00:38,806 --> 00:00:40,641 NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID. OKAY, WHAT I SAID WAS 15 00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:42,676 IT WOULD SIMPLY SAVE TIME TO SOAK THE CHECK IN GASOLINE 16 00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:45,179 AND THEN SET IT ON FIRE. 17 00:00:45,213 --> 00:00:47,448 I FOUND THIS AMAZING NEW COMPANY 18 00:00:47,481 --> 00:00:48,716 AND THEIR STOCK GOES ON SALE TOMORROW. 19 00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:51,519 INITIAL PUBLIC OFFERINGS ARE ALWAYS RISKY, DUDE. 20 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:54,622 - IT'S MY $1,000. - YEP, NOT FOR LONG. 21 00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:56,490 - SO WHAT'S THE COMPANY? - JUMPTECH. 22 00:00:56,524 --> 00:00:58,559 THEY INVENTED THESE SNEAKERS THAT MAKE YOU JUMP HIGHER. 23 00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:00,494 MAGIC FLYING SHOES! 24 00:01:00,528 --> 00:01:02,029 QUICK, MEL, MORTGAGE THE HOUSE 25 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:04,198 SO WE CAN GET IN ON THIS SUREFIRE THING. 26 00:01:04,232 --> 00:01:07,668 - IT'S NOT MAGIC. CHECK THIS OUT. - ( clicks ) 27 00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:10,070 SEE? FAT GUYS AND SHORT KIDS WEARING THE SHOES 28 00:01:10,104 --> 00:01:12,640 AND THEY'RE JUMPING OVER FENCES AND SLAM-DUNKING. 29 00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:13,674 Mel: WOW! 30 00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:17,211 FINALLY, SCIENCE HAS GIVEN US SOMETHING WE CAN USE. 31 00:01:17,245 --> 00:01:20,181 WELL, IT DOES USE "PATENTED HYPER-COIL TECHNOLOGY," 32 00:01:20,214 --> 00:01:23,050 WHICH IS EITHER REALLY GOOD OR TOTALLY MADE UP. 33 00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,386 IT'S MY MONEY AND I'M NOT GONNA MISS OUT ON THIS. 34 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:28,656 I JUST HAVE TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO OPEN UP A BROKERAGE ACCOUNT BY TOMORROW. 35 00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:30,624 FINE. I WILL HELP YOU LOSE YOUR MONEY, 36 00:01:30,658 --> 00:01:32,226 ALL RIGHT? I'LL BUY THE STOCK THROUGH MY ACCOUNT. 37 00:01:32,260 --> 00:01:34,328 YES, I STILL HAVE AN ACCOUNT, ALL RIGHT? 38 00:01:34,362 --> 00:01:36,697 CURRENTLY IT'S MORE OF A PITY ACCOUNT, BUT I STILL HAVE ONE. 39 00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:38,566 OH, THIS IS GREAT, JOE. 40 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,701 NOW YOU'LL GET TO FEEL WHAT IT'S LIKE TO TOUCH MONEY AGAIN. 41 00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:42,503 TRUST ME, IT'S NICE. 42 00:01:42,536 --> 00:01:44,572 THANKS, JOE. 43 00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,073 HEY, LENNOX. 44 00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:48,709 HEY, GUESS WHAT I LEARNED IN SCHOOL TODAY. 45 00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:50,811 BOYS SUCK. 46 00:01:50,844 --> 00:01:53,681 AS A MAN WHO WAS ONCE A BOY, I AM SO HAPPY THAT YOU FIGURED THAT OUT. 47 00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:55,716 WELL, WHAT HAPPENED, SWEETIE? 48 00:01:55,749 --> 00:01:58,819 HASKELL AND I WERE SUPPOSED TO MEET UP AT THE YOGURT SHOP AT 6:00 49 00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:00,821 TO CELEBRATE OUR TWO-WEEK ANNIVERSARY. 50 00:02:00,854 --> 00:02:03,324 I GET THERE A LITTLE EARLY, AND HE'S IN THE PARKING LOT, 51 00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:05,359 MAKING OUT WITH THAT SKANK MARISSA 52 00:02:05,393 --> 00:02:06,860 NEAR THE DUMPSTER. 53 00:02:06,894 --> 00:02:09,697 THAT WAS OUR SPOT. 54 00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:12,099 - I MEAN, CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? - WELL, YEAH. 55 00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,801 MARISSA'S SMOKING HOT. 56 00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:19,907 LIKE A PILE OF DOODY IN AUGUST. 57 00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:24,345 GOOD SAVE. HONEY, THAT'S TERRIBLE. 58 00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:26,414 YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE 59 00:02:26,447 --> 00:02:27,448 AND SOMETHING LIKE THAT WOULD HAPPEN TO ME, 60 00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,717 I WOULD GRAB MY FAKE I.D., SNEAK INTO A BAR 61 00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:33,287 AND DROWN MY SORROWS IN A BIG FROSTY MUG OF... 62 00:02:33,321 --> 00:02:35,189 MILK. 63 00:02:36,824 --> 00:02:38,359 LOOK, IT'S HASKELL'S LOSS. 64 00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:40,494 I NEVER WANNA HEAR THAT NAME AGAIN. 65 00:02:40,528 --> 00:02:42,496 IT IS NOW "THE H WORD." 66 00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:44,665 OKAY, ON A TOTALLY DIFFERENT SUBJECT, 67 00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:47,668 HAVE YOU DECIDED WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO WITH YOUR $1,000 FROM AUNT FLORENCE? 68 00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:49,370 YES. 69 00:02:49,403 --> 00:02:51,905 I'M GOING TO GET AN ANATOMICALLY CORRECT HASKELL VOODOO DOLL. 70 00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:56,477 HELL OF A LOT BETTER INVESTMENT THAN RYDER'S. 71 00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:58,612 ( theme music playing ) 72 00:02:58,646 --> 00:03:00,548 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD - ♪ All good 73 00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:02,383 - ♪ IT'S OKAY - ♪ Okay 74 00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:03,784 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT - ♪ All right 75 00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:05,886 ♪ AS FAR AS I CAN SEE 76 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:07,521 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD - ♪ All good 77 00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:09,757 - ♪ IT'S OKAY - ♪ Okay 78 00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:11,191 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT - ♪ All right 79 00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:13,827 ♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK ♪ 80 00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:16,930 ♪ WITH ME ♪ 81 00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:21,835 - MEL. - OH, SAM, HI. 82 00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:23,771 I MEAN, "H WORD'S" DAD. 83 00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:26,774 LISTEN, I FEEL TERRIBLE THINGS WITH LENNOX.DED 84 00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:28,476 HOW'S SHE DOING? 85 00:03:28,509 --> 00:03:30,644 SHE'S GOING THROUGH A WIDE RANGE OF EMOTIONS. 86 00:03:30,678 --> 00:03:31,912 ONE MINUTE SHE'S DEVASTATED, 87 00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:33,614 AND THE NEXT MINUTE SHE'S PERFECTLY MISERABLE. 88 00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:36,750 ACTUALLY, IT'S SORT OF A NARROW RANGE OF EMOTION. 89 00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:39,653 - THAT MUST BE REALLY HARD. IN THE SAME ROOM WITH HER. 90 00:03:39,687 --> 00:03:41,655 OH, YOU MEANT FOR LENNOX. 91 00:03:41,689 --> 00:03:44,592 WOW, YOU GOT A LITTLE EVIL STREAK THERE, DON'T YOU? 92 00:03:44,625 --> 00:03:47,628 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? IT'S NOT LITTLE. 93 00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:49,430 - GOOD TO KNOW. - SERIOUSLY, THOUGH, 94 00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:51,899 - I THOUGHT LENNOX AND HASKELL - YEAH.A REALLY CUTE COUPLE. 95 00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:54,968 RIGHT UP UNTIL THE MOMENT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.KING OUT 96 00:03:55,002 --> 00:03:57,805 WELL, IN THAT AREA, HE TAKES AFTER HIS MOTHER, 97 00:03:57,838 --> 00:03:59,573 WHICH IS WHY WE'RE NO LONGER TOGETHER. 98 00:03:59,607 --> 00:04:01,241 OH, I'M SO SORRY 99 00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:03,877 TO HEAR YOU'RE AVAILABLE. 100 00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:05,479 HEY, YOU KNOW, 101 00:04:05,513 --> 00:04:07,815 WITH THE WHOLE LENNOX-HASKELL THING, 102 00:04:07,848 --> 00:04:09,917 I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T EVEN BE TALKING TO YOU. 103 00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:11,885 YEAH, YOU KNOW, WE ARE IN ENEMY CAMPS NOW. 104 00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:13,887 ( imitates gunfire ) 105 00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:17,525 SO I GUESS THERE'S NO CHANCE OF ME ASKING YOU OUT NOW. 106 00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:19,660 ABSOLUTELY NOT. 107 00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:22,330 IN FACT, I DARE YOU. 108 00:04:22,363 --> 00:04:23,897 GO AHEAD. 109 00:04:28,536 --> 00:04:31,004 HEY, JOE, YOU NOTICE THIS GLASS? IRD ABOUT 110 00:04:31,038 --> 00:04:32,673 YEAH, YOU'RE HOLDING IT AND ( sniffs ) 111 00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:34,908 IT DOESN'T SMELL LIKE GIN. 112 00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:36,243 ALL THE GLASSES COMING OUT OF THE DISHWASHER LATELY 113 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,878 HAVE BEEN CLOUDY. 114 00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:40,681 YOU WALKED ALL THE WAY ABOUT A CLOUDY GLASS? 115 00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:42,816 ALL THE GLASSES. THEY ALL HAVE SPOTS ON 'EM. 116 00:04:42,850 --> 00:04:44,452 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT THIS? 117 00:04:44,485 --> 00:04:45,953 HIDE WHEN I HEAR YOUR FOOTSTEPS. 118 00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:48,422 OH, I'M SORRY. 119 00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:49,890 DO YOU WANT ME A SERIOUS PROBLEM? AT'S 120 00:04:49,923 --> 00:04:52,726 MEL, I'M GONNA GET RIGHT ON THIS. 121 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:55,028 JOE, YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT JUMPTECH. 122 00:04:55,062 --> 00:04:56,864 IT DIDN'T DOUBLE ITS FIRST DAY. 123 00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:59,767 I'M SORRY, BUDDY. I WISH I WASN'T RIGHT.IMES 124 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,935 IT TRIPLED. CHECK IT OUT! 125 00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,771 - YOU'RE KIDDING. - I'M RICH. 126 00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:06,039 MY STOCK IS WORTH 3 GRAND. THANKS, JOE. 127 00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:07,975 I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU. 128 00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:09,977 IT WAS ALL YOU, MAN. 129 00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:13,013 I... I DID NOTHING. 130 00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:15,315 - NICE GOING, JOE. - I DIDN'T BUY THE STOCK. 131 00:05:15,349 --> 00:05:17,050 - WHAT? - I DIDN'T BUY IT. 132 00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:19,820 CAN YOU CALL THEM AND TELL THEM YOU MEANT TO BUY IT? 133 00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:22,055 SURE. YEAH. 134 00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:24,892 'CAUSE THE STOCK MARKET IS ALL ABOUT THE HONOR SYSTEM. 135 00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:28,462 - BUT YOU TOLD RYDER THAT YOU BOUGHT IT. - IT WAS A SURE LOSER. 136 00:05:28,496 --> 00:05:30,698 - SO YOU LIED TO HIM? - NO, I DIDN'T LIE TO HIM. 137 00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:34,402 - I WAS PROTECTING HIM. - FROM WHAT... WEALTH? 138 00:05:34,435 --> 00:05:36,370 LOOK, THIS IS A STUPID COMPANY WITH AN INANE CONCEPT. 139 00:05:36,404 --> 00:05:38,539 THERE'S NO LOGICAL REASON FOR IT TO HAVE GONE UP. 140 00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:40,908 WOW, I REALLY FEEL TERRIBLE FOR RYDER. 141 00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:44,044 BUT I'M SO GLAD I'M NOT YOU. 142 00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:45,813 GO AHEAD, LAUGH ALL YOU WANT, ALL RIGHT? 143 00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,915 WHEN SANITY RETURNS TO THE EARTH TOMORROW AND THE STOCK CRASHES, 144 00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:49,983 HE'S GONNA THANK ME FOR SAVING HIS THOUSAND BUCKS. 145 00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:52,085 HEY, LENNOX, 146 00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:53,954 FUNNIEST THING HAPPENED TODAY. 147 00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:56,957 I RAN INTO HASKELL'S DAD GETTING COFFEE. 148 00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:58,959 OH, THAT'S NICE. DID YOU TELL HIM I HOPE HIS SON 149 00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:01,529 FALLS LIPS FIRST INTO A WOOD CHIPPER? 150 00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:03,997 NO, NOT IN THOSE EXACT WORDS. 151 00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:06,900 ( stammers ) THERE IS SOMETHING ELSE I WANTED TO MENTION. 152 00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:09,737 HASKELL'S DAD AND I WERE THINKING ABOUT... JUST WANNA THROW THIS OUT THERE... 153 00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:11,672 YOU KNOW, GOING TO GET A MEAL SOMETIME, 154 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,941 LIKE AT DINNERTIME. 155 00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:17,611 DINNER? THAT'S A DATE. YOU CAN'T DO THAT. 156 00:06:17,645 --> 00:06:19,980 WELL, IF YOU WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT, LET ME KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. 157 00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:22,683 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D DO THIS TO ME. 158 00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,051 THAT'S LIKE TREASON. 159 00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:26,854 PICK A FAMILY, AUNT MEL, HASKELL'S OR OURS. 160 00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:33,627 WOW, I REALLY FEEL TERRIBLE FOR LENNOX. 161 00:06:33,661 --> 00:06:36,363 ( snorts ) I'M SO GLAD I'M NOT YOU. 162 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,632 BOY, TALK ABOUT AN OVERREACTION. 163 00:06:38,666 --> 00:06:41,034 SHE'S ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. WHAT YOU DID WAS TOTAL AND UTTER BETRAYAL. 164 00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:43,771 I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE I'M DATING A FRIEND'S EX, 165 00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:47,107 WHICH I WOULD NEVER DO... AGAIN. 166 00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:48,942 I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL. 167 00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:51,479 COLLEGE. DROP IT! 168 00:06:51,512 --> 00:06:53,080 LOOK, IT'S NOT LIKE HASKELL 169 00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:55,048 WAS A SERIOUS BOYFRIEND LIKE AIDAN WAS. 170 00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:59,019 HASKELL WAS JUST A TWO-WEEK REBOUND GUY. 171 00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:00,554 MEL, THEY'RE TEENAGERS, ALL RIGHT? 172 00:07:00,588 --> 00:07:03,390 TWO WEEKS IN THEIR WORLD IS LIKE 20,000 TEXT MESSAGES. 173 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:04,892 BUT THIS IS HASKELL'S DAD, 174 00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,994 AND THE SINS OF THE SONS SHALL NOT BE VISITED UPON THE FATHERS... 175 00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:10,063 YOU KNOW, ESPECIALLY THE SUPER CUTE ONES. 176 00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:12,800 MEL, THIS PARENTING THING WE'RE TRYING TO DO HERE, 177 00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:14,735 IT INVOLVES A LITTLE BIT OF SACRIFICE. 178 00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,804 DOES IT INVOLVE ANYTHING ELSE? 179 00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:18,839 I'M JUST SAYING, FOR THE HEALTH OF THE HOUSEHOLD, 180 00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:22,042 YOU MIGHT JUST WANNA KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS. 181 00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:24,077 BUT SAM DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. WHY SHOULD HE HAVE TO SUFFER 182 00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:27,114 AND NOT HAVE A CHANCE TO GET WITH THIS? 183 00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:30,951 ALL RIGHT, I'LL DO THE "RIGHT" THING. 184 00:07:33,554 --> 00:07:36,490 HEY, MEL, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO WAIT FOR ME OUT HERE. 185 00:07:36,524 --> 00:07:38,992 YEAH, I DID. I JUST DIDN'T WANNA GET STARTED ON THE WHOLE DINNER, 186 00:07:39,026 --> 00:07:40,628 - BECAUSE... - WHAT'S UP? 187 00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:42,029 WELL, I'M SORRY, 188 00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:44,431 BUT LENNOX IS NOT A BIG FAN OF US GOING OUT TOGETHER. 189 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:45,833 OH, I SEE. 190 00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:49,136 SO YOU'RE SAYING WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO SNEAK AROUND? 191 00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:51,204 NO, I WOULD NEVER. THAT WOULD BE WRONG. 192 00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:53,206 YEAH, OKAY, WELL, THEN... 193 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,743 - I GUESS THIS IS GOODBYE. - YEAH. 194 00:07:55,776 --> 00:07:57,077 YEAH. 195 00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,784 OKAY, WE CAN SNEAK AROUND. 196 00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:13,226 OKAY, SIGN THIS. 197 00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:16,496 READ THIS AND PRETEND TO READ THIS. 198 00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:18,465 OH, AND REMEMBER, TODAY YOU HAVE THAT LUNCH 199 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:19,767 WITH THE OLDEST WOMAN IN TOLEDO. 200 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,501 OH, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO POSTPONE IT. 201 00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:23,136 SHE'S 106. 202 00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:24,738 WELL, IT'LL GIVE HER SOMETHING TO LIVE FOR. 203 00:08:24,772 --> 00:08:27,174 I'M SORRY, I HAVE AN URGENT PERSONAL CONFLICT. 204 00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:29,910 PERSONAL? WHAT'S HIS NAME? 205 00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:32,045 STEPHANIE, WHEN I SAY "SOMETHING'S PERSONAL," 206 00:08:32,079 --> 00:08:35,182 IT MEANS I DON'T WANNA DISCUSS SAM. HIS NAME'S SAM. 207 00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:38,518 HASKELL'S DAD? WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TALK TO HIM. 208 00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:40,654 I'M FACEBOOK FRIENDS WITH LENNOX. 209 00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:43,490 WELL, THAT'S WHY I'M SEEING HIM SECRETLY. 210 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,759 SPILL IT, NAUGHTY GIRL. 211 00:08:45,793 --> 00:08:48,629 DID YOU JUST CALL ME... YEAH, I AM A NAUGHTY GIRL. 212 00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:52,099 OKAY, SO LAST NIGHT, WE WENT TO THIS SKEEVY DIVE BAR. 213 00:08:52,132 --> 00:08:55,535 THE KIND OF PLACE I WOULD NEVER GO TO THAT MUCH ANYMORE. 214 00:08:55,569 --> 00:08:57,971 IT WAS SO EXCITING. YOU KNOW, IT WAS LIKE I WAS 18 AGAIN 215 00:08:58,005 --> 00:09:00,273 AND DATING MY DAD'S TENNIS PRO. 216 00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:02,075 DON'T WORRY, I'LL CANCEL YOUR LUNCH. 217 00:09:02,109 --> 00:09:05,946 I'LL CLEAR YOUR WHOLE AFTERNOON. EXACTLY HOW MUCH TIME DO YOU NEED? 218 00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:09,149 JUST LUNCH. YEAH, I CAN GET A LOT DONE IN AN HOUR. 219 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:15,255 HEY, RYDER, HOW'S YOUR INVESTMENT DOING TODAY? 220 00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:17,224 BAD DAY. IT ONLY DOUBLED. 221 00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:19,793 I AM SO RICH. 222 00:09:19,827 --> 00:09:23,263 THE FUNNY THING IS IS NO MATTER HOW RICH YOU GET, YOU'RE STILL A GEEK. 223 00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:26,266 THE LADIES LOVES THE RICH GEEKS. 224 00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:29,637 HEY, MAYBE YOU CAN USE SOME OF THAT MONEY AND BUY YOURSELF A CLUE! 225 00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:33,573 YOU KNOW, RYDER... YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS, RIGHT? 226 00:09:33,607 --> 00:09:34,875 I MEAN, YOU'RE ONLY RICH ON PAPER. 227 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:37,110 THIS STOCK COULD STILL DROP LIKE A STONE. 228 00:09:37,144 --> 00:09:39,312 - I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT. - YEAH. 229 00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:43,283 SO WE GOTTA CASH IN. CALL YOUR GUY AND TELL HIM TO SELL NOW. 230 00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:46,153 YEAH, JOE, WHY DON'T YOU DO THAT? 231 00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:48,555 NO, NO, NO, NO. WHAT? NO, NO, NO, NO. 232 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,223 WE CAN'T PULL OUT ALL OF A SUDDEN. 233 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:51,625 - WHY NOT? - WHY? DUDE, 234 00:09:51,659 --> 00:09:54,161 BECAUSE WE NEED TO THINK ABOUT THIS, MAN. 235 00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:56,263 - BUT YOU HATE THIS STOCK. - YES, I DO, BUDDY, WITH ALL MY SOUL. 236 00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:59,599 BUT EMOTIONS SHOULD NEVER FACTOR INTO A FINANCIAL DECISION. 237 00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:02,035 NO, NO, WHAT WE NEED TO DO IS STAY THE COURSE 238 00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:05,605 AND, YOU KNOW, JUST PLAY THIS WHOLE THING OUT. 239 00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:08,175 YOU'RE RIGHT. I MEAN, IT COULD DOUBLE AGAIN TOMORROW. 240 00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:10,644 WOULDN'T THAT BE GREAT? 241 00:10:10,678 --> 00:10:12,746 I AM SO GLAD I'M IN BUSINESS WITH YOU, JOE. 242 00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:14,147 YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW, YEAH. 243 00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:17,985 THANK YOU FOR NOT RATTING ME OUT. 244 00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:20,821 WELL, YOU KNOW, NOBODY'S PERFECT. I DON'T JUDGE ANYONE. 245 00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:24,291 YEAH, YOU DO. YEAH, THAT'S PRETTY MUCH ALL YOU DO. 246 00:10:27,661 --> 00:10:29,262 HEY, MEL, IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HOME? 247 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:32,599 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HOME? EVERY THURSDAY YOU JOG THE TOWPATH TRAIL 248 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:35,002 - AT EXACTLY THIS TIME. - OKAY. ( laughs ) 249 00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:37,004 NUMBER ONE, I DON'T JOG. 250 00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:39,639 I RUN, OKAY? AND NUMBER TWO... 251 00:10:39,673 --> 00:10:42,075 OKAY, I DON'T WANNA HEAR ABOUT YOUR NUMBER TWOS. ( clears throat ) 252 00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:44,878 THE KIDS ARE IN SCHOOL, WHY DON'T YOU JUST TAKE THE DAY OFF? 253 00:10:44,912 --> 00:10:47,214 HERE'S $10. 254 00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:49,649 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I'M FIXING THE DISHWASHER. REMEMBER? CLOUDY GLASSES? 255 00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:52,820 - END OF THE WORLD? - A FEW SPOTS ISN'T GONNA KILL ANYBODY. 256 00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:55,322 JUST GO FOR YOUR RUN. HERE... HERE'S ANOTHER $10. 257 00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:58,025 YOU'RE ACTING ALL WEIRD. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 258 00:10:58,058 --> 00:10:59,893 I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE UNTIL YOU TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON HERE. 259 00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:03,330 OKAY, SAM DAVIS IS COMING OVER. 260 00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:04,998 HERE? WHY? 261 00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:08,035 ( gasps ) NO. 262 00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:09,937 OH, GROW UP. 263 00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:12,139 WAIT A MINUTE. YOU PROMISED LENNOX THAT YOU WOULD NOT GET INVOLVED. 264 00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,107 I TRIED, BUT THEN HE KISSED ME. 265 00:11:14,141 --> 00:11:17,110 NOW I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO HAVE SNEAKY, SECRET SEX WITH HIM. 266 00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:18,712 AND TODAY, WE'RE DOING IT HERE. 267 00:11:18,746 --> 00:11:21,114 WE'RE GONNA PRETEND MY ROOM IS MY PARENTS' ROOM. 268 00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:22,916 OH, MY GOD. YOU ARE SUCH A HYPOCRITE. 269 00:11:22,950 --> 00:11:25,318 - I AM NOT. - YES, YOU ARE. YOU TOLD LENNOX YOU WOULDN'T GET INVOLVED 270 00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:26,987 WITH HASKELL'S DAD. YOU LIED TO HER. 271 00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:28,989 DON'T ACT ALL HIGH AND MIGHTY. YOU LIED TO RYDER. 272 00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,390 HEY, I LIED TO RYDER TO PROTECT HIM, ALL RIGHT? 273 00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:32,359 YOU LIED TO LENNOX TO COVER YOUR OWN BUTT. 274 00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:34,995 BRAVO. YOU'RE A MUCH MORE ETHICAL LIAR THAN I AM. 275 00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,998 I'M SURE WHEN WE MEET IN HELL, MY FLAMES WILL BE ON "HIGH," 276 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,667 AND YOURS WILL ONLY BE ON "SIMMER." 277 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:41,969 CAN YOU JUST SKEDADDLE SO I CAN GET SOME 278 00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:44,104 IN THE PRIVACY OF MY OWN HOME? 279 00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:45,973 - FINE, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GOING. - ( knock on door ) 280 00:11:46,006 --> 00:11:48,375 BUT I'M NOT LYING FOR YOU. 281 00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:50,377 HEY, HOW ARE YOU? 282 00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:53,346 - OH, HEY, JOE. - YEAH, I'M NOT SEEING ANYTHING. 283 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:56,683 COME ON, HE WAS JUST LEAVING. 284 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:59,419 GIVE ME A FIVE MINUTE HEAD START BEFORE YOU GUYS DO ANYTHING. 285 00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:05,292 - HEY, JOE. - HEY, LENNOX. LENNOX! 286 00:12:05,325 --> 00:12:07,727 HEY, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING HERE? WHY AREN'T YOU AT SCHOOL? 287 00:12:07,761 --> 00:12:10,230 I LEFT MY HISTORY PAPER IN THE PRINTER, AND IT'S DUE FIFTH PERIOD. 288 00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:13,166 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. WHERE ARE YOU GONNA BE GOING? 289 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,702 - TO GET MY PAPER. - NO! NO, NO, NO, NO. 290 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,704 MM-MM, NO, YOU CAN'T GO UPSTAIRS RIGHT NOW. I'M CLEANING UP THERE. 291 00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:20,073 TRUST ME. THERE'S A LOT OF STUFF PROBABLY HANGING OUT. 292 00:12:20,107 --> 00:12:22,742 YOU DON'T WANNA SEE WHAT'S GOING ON UP THERE. 293 00:12:22,776 --> 00:12:24,477 - I'LL AVERT MY EYES. - WAIT A MINUTE. 294 00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:27,247 LENNOX, LENNOX, LENNOX, PLEASE... 295 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,749 I WOULDN'T GO UP THE BACK STAIRS. TO THE SECOND FLOOR, LENNOX, 296 00:12:29,783 --> 00:12:32,419 WHERE YOU'RE PROBABLY MORE THAN HALFWAY BY NOW. 297 00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:38,425 - YOU GUYS OWE ME BIG TIME. - FOR WHAT? WE DIDN'T EVEN GET TO THE GOOD STUFF. 298 00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:41,294 - IT WAS NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. - GET OUTTA HERE, WILL YA? 299 00:12:41,328 --> 00:12:43,396 JEEZ. 300 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,868 - JEEZ, WHAT WAS THAT? - OH, THAT? THAT WAS JUST THE DOOR. 301 00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:49,436 I'M JUST GOING AROUND THE HOUSE CHECKING ALL THESE DOORS, 302 00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:53,040 MAKING SURE THEY'RE NOT SQUEAKING. THIS ONE'S GOOD. 303 00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:55,408 - WHERE ARE YOU GOING? - BACK TO SCHOOL. 304 00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:57,410 YEAH, BUT YOU CAME IN THE BACK DOOR. 305 00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,279 AND I WANNA GO OUT THE FRONT DOOR. 306 00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:01,248 MM-MM, NOPE, YOU CANNOT DO THAT. NOPE, IT'S BAD LUCK. 307 00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,383 IT'S BAD LUCK. YOU HAVE TO GO OUT THE SAME DOOR YOU CAME IN, OKAY? 308 00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:04,885 THAT'S JUST COMMON FRICKIN' SENSE, LENNOX. 309 00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:07,787 - OKAY, I'M GOING, I'M GOING. - ALL RIGHT. 310 00:13:07,821 --> 00:13:11,124 IN A CRISIS, YOU WANT LONGO. 311 00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:19,900 SO HOW'S RYDER'S INVESTMENT DOING TODAY? 312 00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:21,869 IT'S A PIECE OF CRAP. 313 00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:24,838 WOW. THE PRICE OF CRAP IS SKYROCKETING. 314 00:13:24,872 --> 00:13:26,439 I KNOW. THIS COMPANY CONTINUES TO DEFY ALL LOGIC. 315 00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:30,010 IT JUST KEEPS GOING UP AND UP AND UP. IT'S LIKE... LIKE... 316 00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:32,045 A JUMPTECH SNEAKER? 317 00:13:32,079 --> 00:13:33,914 ( cell phone beeps ) 318 00:13:33,947 --> 00:13:35,515 ( laughing ) 319 00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:39,019 GETTING A LITTLE TEXT MESSAGE FROM YOUR SNEAKY SECRET BOYFRIEND? 320 00:13:39,052 --> 00:13:42,890 NO, A TEXT MESSAGE HAS WORDS. 321 00:13:46,259 --> 00:13:47,827 HE'S SENDING YOU PICTURES. THAT'S CLASSY. 322 00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:49,429 HOW'D HE EVEN GET ONE OF US DOING THAT? 323 00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:51,231 I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE HE HAS ANY HANDS FREE. 324 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,402 AND MY BREAKFAST IS DONE. 325 00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:56,904 OH, RELAX, LONGO. 326 00:13:56,937 --> 00:13:59,873 WE WERE JUST DANCING NAKED. 327 00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:02,475 - COME ON. - I'M JOKING. 328 00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:06,346 WHAT POLITICIAN WOULD BE DUMB ENOUGH TO HAVE NAKED PICTURES ON THEIR CELL PHONE? 329 00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:10,283 LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING, BURKE? 330 00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:13,253 WHY IS IT THAT I LIE TO RYDER AND I FEEL AWFUL, 331 00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:15,822 YET YOU LIE TO LENNOX AND YOU'RE HAVING THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE? 332 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:19,426 WAIT A MINUTE. I FORGOT. IT'S BECAUSE I HAVE A CONSCIENCE. 333 00:14:19,459 --> 00:14:21,895 I DON'T FEEL BAD BECAUSE WHAT LENNOX DOESN'T KNOW DOESN'T HURT HER. 334 00:14:21,929 --> 00:14:24,297 YOU MADE RYDER BELIEVE HE WAS RICH. 335 00:14:24,331 --> 00:14:26,233 YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE RIGHT, BUT I CAN FIX THAT, 336 00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:28,101 BECAUSE I STILL HAVE HIS ORIGINAL $1,000. 337 00:14:28,135 --> 00:14:30,403 YOU'RE NOT GONNA BUY THAT RIDICULOUS STOCK, ARE YOU? 338 00:14:30,437 --> 00:14:32,272 ARE YOU CRAZY? I WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING THAT RISKY. 339 00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:35,442 I'M GONNA INVEST IT IN A HIGH-STAKES POKER GAME. 340 00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:40,948 HEY. 341 00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:44,484 HEY, AUNT MEL, IS THERE ANYTHING YOU NEED TO TELL ME? 342 00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:46,153 HMM... STAY IN SCHOOL. 343 00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:49,056 DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE AND ALWAYS PUT THE TOILET SEAT DOWN. 344 00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:51,491 WAIT, THAT'S FOR RYDER. 345 00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:54,461 THAT'S FUNNY, BECAUSE I JUST HEARD TODAY 346 00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:56,896 THAT HASKELL'S FATHER WAS SNEAKING AROUND WITH... 347 00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:59,532 WHO WAS THAT AGAIN? OH, THAT'S RIGHT. YOU. 348 00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:03,170 - THAT IS A VICIOUS RUMOR. - IS IT TRUE? 349 00:15:03,203 --> 00:15:05,605 I DON'T SEE WHY THAT'S IMPORTANT. 350 00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:08,541 I WAS HAVING LUNCH WITH HASKELL TODAY AND HE SAID HE JUST FOUND OUT. 351 00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:10,944 AUNT MEL, HOW COULD YOU? 352 00:15:10,978 --> 00:15:13,580 LENNOX, I'M SO SORRY. I DIDN'T... WAIT. 353 00:15:13,613 --> 00:15:17,017 - YOU'RE SPEAKING TO HASKELL AGAIN? - YEAH. 354 00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:19,319 YEAH, WE SORTED STUFF OUT A COUPLE DAYS AGO. 355 00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:20,887 TURNS OUT HE DOESN'T LIKE MARISSA. 356 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,623 SHE JUST JUMPED HIM IN THE PARKING LOT AND WHAT WAS HE SUPPOSED TO DO? 357 00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:26,893 WAIT A MINUTE. DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT. 358 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,428 YOU LIED TO ME. 359 00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:31,931 - NO, NO, NO, I THINK I'M IN THE CLEAR HERE. - WHAT? 360 00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:34,301 YEAH, MY LIE WAS ONLY A LIE BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T SPEAKING TO HASKELL. 361 00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:36,970 NOW THAT YOU'RE SPEAKING TO HIM AGAIN, YOU'VE REMOVED MY LIE. 362 00:15:37,004 --> 00:15:40,607 SEE, MY LIE IS NOW THE TRUTH. 363 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,609 ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO YOURSELF? 364 00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:45,112 YES, I AM, AND I LIKE WHAT I HEAR. 365 00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:48,315 - A LIE IS A LIE. - A LIE IS BASED ON ITS CONTEXT. 366 00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:50,283 CLEARLY YOU'RE THE EXPERT ON LYING. 367 00:15:50,317 --> 00:15:52,986 OKAY, MAYBE YOU WEREN'T LISTENING, BUT YOU'VE REMOVED MY LIE. 368 00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:55,655 AND I'M PUTTING IT BACK, LIAR! 369 00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:58,992 ( both shout ) 370 00:15:59,026 --> 00:16:01,728 YOU COULD JUST SMELL THE CRAZY IN HERE. 371 00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:06,499 GOOD TO SEE YOU BACK IN THE GAME, LONGO. 372 00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:08,301 GOOD TO BE BACK, JACKSON. 373 00:16:08,335 --> 00:16:10,337 I RAISE $500. 374 00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:11,971 - CALL. - CALL. 375 00:16:12,005 --> 00:16:14,107 CALL. 376 00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:16,976 SO WHERE'S YOUR STAKE COME FROM THESE DAYS? 377 00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:18,711 I'M NOT GONNA LIE TO YOU, MAN. 378 00:16:18,745 --> 00:16:21,048 FROM THE KID THAT I BABYSIT. 379 00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:23,650 - ( laughing ) - OOH, ALL RIGHT, GENTLEMEN. 380 00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:26,986 LET'S SEE WHO AT THIS TABLE HAS ACTUALLY GOT A PAIR. 381 00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:29,556 - I RAISE $1,000. - I'M OUT. 382 00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:32,359 I THINK I CAN COVER YOUR $1,000. I'M ALL-IN. 383 00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:34,627 WHAT'S IT GONNA BE, JOE? 384 00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:37,430 - THAT $6,000 CALLING YOUR NAME? - I'M THINKING. 385 00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:39,566 SO YOU GOING ALL-IN OR WHAT? 386 00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:44,971 - YEAH, YEAH, I AM DEFINITELY GONNA... - ( cell phone rings ) 387 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:47,207 I'M SORRY. WOULD YOU GUYS MIND IF I JUST TAKE THAT FOR A MINUTE? 388 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,709 - I'M... I'M SORRY. - LONGO... 389 00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:51,644 - HELLO. - JOE, WE'RE RUINED. 390 00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,446 YOU KNOW THOSE JUMPTECH VIDEOS OF THOSE KIDS SLAM-DUNKING? 391 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,382 THEY ARE ALL FAKES. 392 00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:57,684 WAIT A MINUTE. CALM DOWN. WHO SAID THEY WERE FAKED? 393 00:16:57,717 --> 00:16:59,252 THE PRESIDENT OF THE COMPANY 394 00:16:59,286 --> 00:17:02,355 AS THE FBI HAULED HIM AWAY IN HANDCUFFS. 395 00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:05,158 I'M OUT, GUYS. THIS GAME'S TOO HOT FOR ME. 396 00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:12,432 WELL, LOOK AT US, RIGHT OUT HERE IN THE OPEN. 397 00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:14,467 WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE US. 398 00:17:14,501 --> 00:17:17,270 YEAH, I EVEN TOLD LENNOX WHERE I WAS GOING. 399 00:17:17,304 --> 00:17:20,173 DON'T HAVE TO HIDE BEHIND ANYONE'S BACK ANYMORE. 400 00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:21,474 YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. 401 00:17:21,508 --> 00:17:23,710 I MEAN, NOW WE CAN SPEND OUR ENERGY GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER. 402 00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:26,379 REALLY TALKING INSTEAD OF JUST PLOTTING OUT 403 00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:28,381 WHERE OUR NEXT SEXY HOOKUP MIGHT BE. 404 00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:32,385 - YEAH, NOW THAT WAS GETTING OLD. - UH-HUH. 405 00:17:32,419 --> 00:17:35,222 - UH-HUH. - ( clears throat ) 406 00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:36,656 - YEP. - YEP. 407 00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:39,226 YEP. CONVERSATION. 408 00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:40,727 YOU KNOW, WE CAN... 409 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:43,530 WE CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING. 410 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:46,199 - ANYTHING IN THE WORLD. - YEAH. 411 00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:48,801 - YEAH. - YEAH. 412 00:17:48,835 --> 00:17:52,139 - SO WHERE'D YOU PARK? - I GOT A METER. IT ALREADY HAD 15 MINUTES ON IT. 413 00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:54,207 - NICE, YEAH. - MM-HMM. 414 00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:58,745 THIS IS... THIS IS GREAT. 415 00:18:06,186 --> 00:18:08,155 "IN AFTER-HOURS TRADING, JUMPTECH HAS DROPPED 416 00:18:08,188 --> 00:18:11,158 FROM $12 A SHARE TO 8 CENTS." 417 00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:13,426 IT'S ALL GONE, JOE. MY MONEY IS ALL GONE. 418 00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:15,595 WHAT I DID WAS DUMB. IT WAS LIKE GAMBLING. 419 00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:18,665 AND GAMBLING'S STUPID, RIGHT, JOE? 420 00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:22,202 YES. DEFINITELY. 421 00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:24,571 UNLESS YOU HAVE A SYSTEM FOR IT. 422 00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:26,639 RYDER, I HEARD ABOUT YOUR STOCK ON THE WAY HOME. 423 00:18:26,673 --> 00:18:29,309 I WAS RICH, AND THEN I LOST EVERYTHING. 424 00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:32,179 HEY, WELL, YOU CAN TAKE A LESSON FROM JOE. 425 00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:35,148 I MEAN, HE BOUNCED BACK PARTLY. I MEAN, HE... 426 00:18:35,182 --> 00:18:37,550 WELL, HE'S STILL BOUNCING. 427 00:18:37,584 --> 00:18:39,352 AND YOU KNOW WHAT, BUDDY? IT ACTUALLY TURNS OUT 428 00:18:39,386 --> 00:18:41,221 THERE'S THIS HIGHLY ARCANE S.E.C. RULE 429 00:18:41,254 --> 00:18:42,622 THAT CAN ACTUALLY "UNWIND" A TRADE 430 00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:44,757 AND RETURN ALL THE FUNDS TO THE INVESTOR 431 00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:46,693 IF IT CAN BE PROVEN THAT THE INVESTOR 432 00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:49,596 WAS A NICE YOUNG MAN 433 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:53,300 WHO WAS MAKING HIS FIRST INVESTMENT. 434 00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:54,834 - REALLY? - YEAH. 435 00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:56,836 - IS THAT TRUE? - IS IT TRUE? 436 00:18:56,869 --> 00:18:59,872 WOULD JOE LIE TO YOU? 437 00:18:59,906 --> 00:19:02,108 WOULD I LIE TO YOU, DUDE? COME ON. 438 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:05,345 YEAH, ALL WE HAVE TO DO NOW IS JUST FILL OUT ALL THE PAPERWORK, 439 00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:08,481 AND YOU'LL HAVE YOUR $1,000 BACK IN ABOUT A WEEK. 440 00:19:08,515 --> 00:19:12,252 FROM NOW ON, I'M ALWAYS DOING WHAT YOU SAY. 441 00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:15,422 THANK YOU. YOU'RE CLEANING ALL THE RAIN GUTTERS THIS WEEKEND. 442 00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:17,457 DAMN, THAT WENT BAD FAST. 443 00:19:21,294 --> 00:19:24,897 OKAY, CAN WE MAKE A PACT RIGHT NOW NOT TO EVER LIE TO THE KIDS AGAIN? 444 00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:28,435 OKAY, BUT TECHNICALLY, MINE WASN'T A LIE. 445 00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:30,403 OH, MY GOD. YOU JUST... YOU NEVER STOP. 446 00:19:30,437 --> 00:19:32,239 YOU SAY THAT LIKE IT'S NEWS. 447 00:19:32,272 --> 00:19:34,140 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ANYWAY? 448 00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:35,808 - DIDN'T YOU HAVE A BIG DATE TONIGHT? - YEAH, IT'S FUNNY. 449 00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:38,278 ONCE WE COMPARED PARKING SPACES, 450 00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:39,746 THE NIGHT KIND OF PEAKED. 451 00:19:39,779 --> 00:19:42,449 I DON'T KNOW. WITHOUT SNEAKING AROUND BEHIND PEOPLE'S BACK, 452 00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:45,252 THE THING WITH SAM KIND OF LOST ITS THRILL. 453 00:19:45,285 --> 00:19:46,719 PRETTY MESSED UP, HUH? 454 00:19:46,753 --> 00:19:49,922 YOU SAY THAT LIKE IT'S NEWS. 455 00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:53,593 WHAT IS IT ABOUT PEOPLE ALWAYS WANTING TO DO THINGS THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO? 456 00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:56,396 YOU KNOW, MEL, IT'S HUMAN NATURE. 457 00:19:56,429 --> 00:20:00,166 I MEAN, PEOPLE CAN'T HELP THEMSELVES, YOU KNOW? 458 00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,834 I MEAN, YOU START FEELING SOMETHING 459 00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:05,472 THAT YOU THINK MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T AND THEN... 460 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,476 THE PULL IS TOO STRONG. 461 00:20:09,509 --> 00:20:13,480 WELL, MAYBE THE PULL IS TOO STRONG 462 00:20:13,513 --> 00:20:16,283 BECAUSE IT'S AGAINST THE RULES. 463 00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:19,319 WELL, I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING. 464 00:20:19,352 --> 00:20:23,256 IF THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES A RELATIONSHIP EXCITING 465 00:20:23,290 --> 00:20:24,424 IS THAT IT'S FORBIDDEN... 466 00:20:24,457 --> 00:20:25,825 IT'S PROBABLY NOT WORTH IT. 467 00:20:25,858 --> 00:20:28,461 NO, IT'S PROBABLY TOTALLY HOT. 468 00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:33,533 CONGRATULATIONS 469 00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:37,236 ON TURNING 106, MRS. McKINNON. 470 00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:40,773 AS YOUR CITY COUNCILWOMAN, I, MEL BURKE, 471 00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:43,910 VALUE CONTACT WITH MY CONSTITUENTS, 472 00:20:43,943 --> 00:20:47,847 ESPECIALLY SOMEONE WITH AS MUCH LIFE EXPERIENCE AS YOU HAVE. 473 00:20:49,282 --> 00:20:51,751 ( coughs ) EXCUSE ME. 474 00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:54,987 DO YOU HAVE A COUGH DROP OR MAYBE A HARD CANDY IN YOUR PURSE? 475 00:20:56,523 --> 00:20:58,525 THANKS FOR COVERING. 476 00:21:02,329 --> 00:21:04,764 AND AS YOUR COUNCILWOMAN, MEL BURKE, 477 00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:06,699 I THINK THERE'S SO MUCH YOU COULD TEACH US ALL 478 00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:08,735 ABOUT THE REAL VALUES IN LIFE, YOU KNOW, 479 00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:11,938 LIKE INTEGRITY AND HONESTY. 480 00:21:11,971 --> 00:21:14,374 THANK YOU, DEAR. 481 00:21:14,407 --> 00:21:16,409 THANKS TO BOTH OF YOU. 482 00:21:16,443 --> 00:21:18,545 WHAT... WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 483 00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:20,580 OH, DROP IT. 484 00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:23,350 I DIDN'T GET TO BE 106 485 00:21:23,383 --> 00:21:24,717 WITHOUT PAYING ATTENTION.