1 00:00:07,578 --> 00:00:09,610 "MELISSA & JOEY" IS RECORDED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE. 2 00:00:11,312 --> 00:00:13,713 FULL-DAY BUDGET HEARING. ( groans ) 3 00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:17,147 DO YOU KNOW HOW TIRING IT IS TO ACT LIKE YOU'RE LISTENING ALL DAY LONG? 4 00:00:17,148 --> 00:00:18,718 "MM-HMM. MM-HMM. 5 00:00:18,719 --> 00:00:20,520 REALLY? OH." 6 00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:23,623 BUT BY AND LARGE YOU LIKE YOUR JOB DOWN AT CITY HALL, RIGHT? 7 00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:26,426 YEAH, I MEAN, EVERYONE HOLDS THE ELEVATOR DOOR FOR ME, 8 00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:29,299 AND JUST LIKE BATMAN, I GET TO SAY I'M FRIENDS WITH THE MAYOR. 9 00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:31,261 SO IT WOULD EVEN BE A GOOD PLACE TO WORK PART-TIME, RIGHT? 10 00:00:31,262 --> 00:00:34,264 - I THINK I FORGOT MY PURSE IN THE CAR. - WHAT'S THAT ON YOUR ARM? 11 00:00:34,265 --> 00:00:36,736 OH, I THINK I FORGOT SOMETHING ELSE IN THE CAR. 12 00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:39,369 YEAH, MAYBE YOU FORGOT TO TELL ME THAT A PART-TIME JOB OPENED UP 13 00:00:39,370 --> 00:00:40,740 IN THE TOLEDO CONTROLLER'S OFFICE. 14 00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:43,243 - IT'S NOT THE RIGHT JOB FOR YOU, JOE. - AHA! 15 00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:45,615 - SO YOU DID KNOW ABOUT IT. - ARE YOU LOOKING FOR WORK BEHIND MY BACK? 16 00:00:45,616 --> 00:00:48,149 APPARENTLY THAT'S WHERE THE JOBS ARE. 17 00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:51,681 IT'S PAPER PUSHING. YOU'D BE LOOKING FOR 18 00:00:51,682 --> 00:00:54,684 BUDGET REDUCTIONS AND REDUNDANCIES. IT'S NOT SEXY. 19 00:00:54,685 --> 00:00:58,488 AND HOSING BIRD POOP OFF YOUR MAILBOX, THAT'S SEXY? 20 00:00:58,489 --> 00:01:00,790 IT IS WHEN YOU DO IT. 21 00:01:00,791 --> 00:01:03,463 LOOK, AND BESIDES YOU'RE HAPPY HERE. SO VERY HAPPY! 22 00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:06,536 HAPPINESS REQUIRES PERSONAL FULFILLMENT AND A LITTLE SELF-RESPECT. 23 00:01:06,537 --> 00:01:10,069 - MM-HMM MM-HMM. - AND I JUST, DON'T REALLY THINK THAT I'M GETTING THAT HERE. 24 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,402 - REALLY? OH. - WILL YOU KNOCK THAT OFF?! 25 00:01:12,403 --> 00:01:15,545 ALL RIGHT, LOOK. IT'S TRUE I DIDN'T TELL YOU, 26 00:01:15,546 --> 00:01:17,547 BUT, YOU KNOW, IF YOU APPLY FOR THAT JOB, 27 00:01:17,548 --> 00:01:19,809 ALL THAT SCANLON BUSINESS IS GONNA COME RIGHT BACK UP. 28 00:01:19,810 --> 00:01:23,153 I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO SEE YOU PUBLICLY EMBARRASSED AGAIN. 29 00:01:23,154 --> 00:01:26,116 BURKE, I'M A MALE NANNY WHO HOSES BIRD POOP OFF YOUR MAILBOX. 30 00:01:26,117 --> 00:01:28,758 I THINK I'M PAST THE WHOLE EMBARRASSMENT THING. 31 00:01:28,759 --> 00:01:31,221 ALL RIGHT, JUST GET ME IN THE ROOM FOR THE INTERVIEW. 32 00:01:31,222 --> 00:01:33,823 - WHO MAKES THE DECISION? - WELL, THERE'S A COMMITTEE OF SEVEN PEOPLE, 33 00:01:33,824 --> 00:01:36,266 - BUT REALLY IT COMES DOWN TO TWO. - OKAY, WHO ARE THEY? 34 00:01:36,267 --> 00:01:39,269 - GIVE ME THEIR NAMES. - WELL, THERE'S PAUL WAGNER 35 00:01:39,270 --> 00:01:41,100 AND SOME OTHER PERSON. 36 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:44,474 - OKAY, WHO? - UH, SOME LADY. 37 00:01:44,475 --> 00:01:46,506 I DON'T KNOW... 38 00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:48,679 ME. 39 00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:51,681 ( theme music playing ) 40 00:01:51,682 --> 00:01:53,343 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD ♪ - ♪ All good ♪ 41 00:01:53,344 --> 00:01:55,145 - ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪ - ♪ Okay ♪ 42 00:01:55,146 --> 00:01:56,716 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT ♪ - ♪ All right ♪ 43 00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:58,648 ♪ AS FAR AS I CAN SEE ♪ 44 00:01:58,649 --> 00:02:00,190 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD ♪ - ♪ All good ♪ 45 00:02:00,191 --> 00:02:01,721 - ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪ - ♪ Okay ♪ 46 00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:03,653 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT ♪ - ♪ All right ♪ 47 00:02:03,654 --> 00:02:06,726 ♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK ♪ 48 00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:09,600 ♪ WITH ME ♪ 49 00:02:11,762 --> 00:02:13,603 SO YOU'RE ONE OF TWO PEOPLE THAT MAKE THE CALL 50 00:02:13,604 --> 00:02:16,506 ON A JOB THAT I AM UNBELIEVABLY QUALIFIED FOR AND YET YOU KEPT IT FROM ME. 51 00:02:16,507 --> 00:02:19,739 HOW LONG ARE YOU GONNA KEEP NURSING THIS WOUND, JOE? 52 00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:21,471 IT'S BEEN ONE MINUTE. 53 00:02:21,472 --> 00:02:24,614 EXACTLY. IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON. 54 00:02:24,615 --> 00:02:26,746 DID YOU SAY DINNER? 55 00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:28,779 NO. 56 00:02:30,251 --> 00:02:33,152 - COULD YOU SAY DINNER? - NO. 57 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,824 BUT I WILL SAY THIS, YOUR AUNT COULD HAVE 58 00:02:34,825 --> 00:02:36,786 PUT ME UP FOR THIS REALLY GREAT JOB AND SHE DIDN'T. 59 00:02:36,787 --> 00:02:39,729 - WHAT'S UP WITH THAT, AUNT MEL? - WHAT? IT'S A PART-TIME THINGY. 60 00:02:39,730 --> 00:02:41,791 AND WORSE IT'LL TAKE YOUR TUTOR AWAY FROM YOU. 61 00:02:41,792 --> 00:02:42,862 ( sarcastically ) OH NO. 62 00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:45,435 MY HARD-ASS TEACHER WILL BE IN MY FACE A WHOLE LOT LESS. 63 00:02:45,436 --> 00:02:47,597 BOO-FREAKING-HOO. 64 00:02:47,598 --> 00:02:48,898 WELL, THE KIDS ARE ON BOARD. 65 00:02:48,899 --> 00:02:50,640 YEAH, WHY ARE STANDING IN JOE'S WAY? 66 00:02:50,641 --> 00:02:52,502 FINE. I'LL GET YOU THE INTERVIEW. 67 00:02:52,503 --> 00:02:55,345 THANK YOU, AND THANK YOU, GUYS. IT'S NICE TO KNOW THAT YOU HAVE MY BACK. 68 00:02:55,346 --> 00:02:58,648 SURE. YOU DESERVE A CRACK AT AN IMPORTANT MANAGEMENT-LEVEL JOB 69 00:02:58,649 --> 00:03:01,481 THAT FULLY UTILIZES YOUR EXECUTIVE SKILL SET. 70 00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:02,812 HM-MM, I TOTALLY AGREE. 71 00:03:02,813 --> 00:03:04,785 NOW CAN YOU MANAGE SOME DINNER? 72 00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,519 YOU KNOW I START REHEARSALS TOMORROW? 73 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:10,720 UH-HUH. 74 00:03:10,721 --> 00:03:12,822 IT'S THE PLAY WHERE I'M KISSING ANOTHER BOY. 75 00:03:12,823 --> 00:03:15,194 SO JUST MAKING SURE YOU DON'T FREAK OUT ABOUT IT. 76 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,267 THIS GUY... NOT WORRIED. 77 00:03:17,268 --> 00:03:19,729 IT'S ARCHER ADAMS. NOT MY TYPE, BUT THE SCHOOL BLOG 78 00:03:19,730 --> 00:03:22,972 NAMED HIM SEXIEST UPPERCLASSMAN, NON-JOCK CATEGORY. 79 00:03:22,973 --> 00:03:25,335 YEAH, I JUST KNOW YOU'RE DOING THE PLAY 80 00:03:25,336 --> 00:03:27,777 TO BROADEN YOURSELF AS A WRITER, NOT TO KISS SOME GUY. 81 00:03:27,778 --> 00:03:30,710 SPEAKING OF KISSING A GUY, WHAT ARE WE DOING THIS WEEKEND? 82 00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:33,212 I NEED TO BREAK IN THIS NEW WATERMELON LIP GLOSS. 83 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,544 OOH. WELL, I DON'T KNOW. 84 00:03:34,545 --> 00:03:36,886 I'VE GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO ON MY ART-SCHOOL PORTFOLIO. 85 00:03:36,887 --> 00:03:39,819 HEY, DO YOU REMEMBER THAT BEAUTIFUL SPOT AT TOLEDO BEACH 86 00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:42,522 - WE WENT FOR OUR FIRST DATE? - OH, HOW COULD I FORGET? 87 00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:45,396 I STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN ALL THE SAND OUT OF MY... EAR. 88 00:03:47,398 --> 00:03:48,828 WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? 89 00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:50,701 I'M GOING BACK THERE TO DRAW ROCKS. 90 00:03:58,769 --> 00:04:00,810 UH-OH. NO, I CAN'T BE THE FIRST ONE HERE. 91 00:04:00,811 --> 00:04:03,513 IT'S GONNA LOOK LIKE I'M ON YOUR SIDE. 92 00:04:03,514 --> 00:04:05,244 AREN'T YOU ON MY SIDE? 93 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:08,678 WELL YES, BUT SECRETLY, WHICH MAKES IT EVEN BETTER. 94 00:04:08,679 --> 00:04:10,780 SHH, YAY JOE. 95 00:04:10,781 --> 00:04:13,583 RELAX, BURKE, I'M GONNA KNOCK THIS INTERVIEW OUT OF THE PARK. 96 00:04:13,584 --> 00:04:14,784 I'VE ALREADY GONE THROUGH FIVE YEARS 97 00:04:14,785 --> 00:04:16,756 OF THESE CITY BUDGETS AND I'VE GOT A LOT OF IDEAS. 98 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,628 MM-HMM. MM-HMM. 99 00:04:18,629 --> 00:04:20,760 REALLY? 100 00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:24,263 WHAT? THAT WAS TOTALLY SINCERE. 101 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,735 UH... THANK YOU SO MUCH 102 00:04:25,736 --> 00:04:27,737 FOR JOINING US TODAY, MR. LONGOW. 103 00:04:27,738 --> 00:04:30,500 AM I PRONOUNCING THAT CORRECTLY? 104 00:04:30,501 --> 00:04:32,502 THANK YOU FOR COMING IN TODAY. 105 00:04:32,503 --> 00:04:34,043 IT'S VERY NICE TO MEET YOU. I'M JOE LONGO. 106 00:04:34,044 --> 00:04:36,706 YEAH. I CAN READ. 107 00:04:36,707 --> 00:04:38,778 LOOK, WE NEED SOMEBODY WITH A SHARP EYE 108 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,980 WHO CAN SPOT INEFFICIENCIES AND WASTE. 109 00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:44,053 WELL, I'VE ALREADY ISOLATED FOUR AREAS OF BUDGET REDUNDANCY. 110 00:04:44,054 --> 00:04:45,815 IT'S SOMETHING I LIKE TO CALL 111 00:04:45,816 --> 00:04:47,717 THE LONGO INITIATIVE FOR COST CUTTING, 112 00:04:47,718 --> 00:04:50,620 OR "LICK." 113 00:04:50,621 --> 00:04:53,423 THE PROBLEM I SEE WITH YOU 114 00:04:53,424 --> 00:04:55,995 IS THAT THERE'S NO CONTROLLER EXPERIENCE. 115 00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:57,727 NOTHING. ZIP. 116 00:04:57,728 --> 00:04:59,769 NOW WHERE DID WE GET THIS GUY? 117 00:04:59,770 --> 00:05:02,572 ( clears throat ) 118 00:05:02,573 --> 00:05:04,534 YOU KNOW IF I CAN JUST COUNTER THAT BY SAYING 119 00:05:04,535 --> 00:05:07,377 THAT MY VAST EXPERIENCE IN THE PRIVATE SECTOR HAS MORE THAN QUALIFIED... 120 00:05:07,378 --> 00:05:09,379 WAIT A MINUTE... JOE LONGO. 121 00:05:09,380 --> 00:05:11,811 AREN'T YOU THE GUY FROM THAT FINANCIAL SCANDAL? 122 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:14,414 THAT WAS YOUR CROOKED BROTHER-IN-LAW, RIGHT, BURKE? 123 00:05:14,415 --> 00:05:15,745 WAS IT? HUH. 124 00:05:15,746 --> 00:05:17,717 WHAT DO YOU KNOW? I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT. 125 00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:21,851 UM, LOOK, I... I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT MALFEASANCE THAT OCCURRED. 126 00:05:21,852 --> 00:05:23,593 W-W... WAIT. WAIT A MINUTE. 127 00:05:23,594 --> 00:05:25,895 - YOU'RE WORKING FOR BURKE NOW? - LET ME SEE THAT. 128 00:05:25,896 --> 00:05:27,797 I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE GONNA... 129 00:05:27,798 --> 00:05:30,660 YES INDEEDY. HE WORKS FOR ME. 130 00:05:30,661 --> 00:05:33,332 I'M HER EXECUTIVE... 131 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,565 DIRECTOR OF, UM... 132 00:05:35,566 --> 00:05:37,006 HOUSEHOLD AFFAIRS. 133 00:05:37,007 --> 00:05:39,809 SO YOU DO HAVE EXPERIENCE WITH GOVERNMENT, 134 00:05:39,810 --> 00:05:41,671 JUST INDIRECTLY. 135 00:05:41,672 --> 00:05:43,813 NOW DO YOU TRUST THIS GUY IN YOUR HOUSE? 136 00:05:43,814 --> 00:05:46,716 - YEAH, I DO. - WELL, THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME. 137 00:05:46,717 --> 00:05:47,977 YOU'RE HIRED, LONGO. 138 00:05:47,978 --> 00:05:51,350 IN JOBS LIKE THIS IT'S ALL ABOUT TRUST. 139 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:52,853 THANK YOU SO MUCH. 140 00:05:54,024 --> 00:05:56,387 THANK YOU. 141 00:05:57,588 --> 00:05:59,789 THIS HERE'S OUR LAST THREE FISCAL YEARS. 142 00:05:59,790 --> 00:06:01,591 YOU KNOW, JUST GO ON AND DO YOUR THING. 143 00:06:01,592 --> 00:06:04,363 LICK IT. 144 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,395 HAPPY TO. 145 00:06:05,396 --> 00:06:06,796 DID YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE? 146 00:06:06,797 --> 00:06:08,698 MY TRUSTING YOU GOT YOU THIS JOB. 147 00:06:08,699 --> 00:06:10,840 THE JOB YOU WEREN'T GONNA TELL ME ABOUT? 148 00:06:10,841 --> 00:06:13,673 YOU'VE REALLY GOT TO LEARN TO LET THINGS GO, JOE. 149 00:06:13,674 --> 00:06:17,376 NOW GET CRACKING ON THAT MOUNTAIN OF PAPERWORK. GO SUCK IT. 150 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,809 LICK IT. 151 00:06:19,810 --> 00:06:20,711 WHATEVER. 152 00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:29,919 OH, ALEJANDRO, I SHOULDN'T BE HERE. 153 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:31,521 YOU SHOULDN'T BE HERE. 154 00:06:31,522 --> 00:06:34,724 NO STAY. EVERY MOMENT APART FROM YOU IS A THOUSAND YEARS. 155 00:06:34,725 --> 00:06:37,166 EVERY STEP AWAY FROM YOU IS A THOUSAND MILES. 156 00:06:37,167 --> 00:06:39,098 - KISS ME! - NO. 157 00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:42,432 MY FATHER'S IN THE CARRIAGE HOUSE AND WILL MOST CERTAINLY SEE US. 158 00:06:42,433 --> 00:06:45,035 I DON'T CARE. I MUST HAVE YOUR LIPS. 159 00:06:50,681 --> 00:06:52,642 THAT WAS GREAT. 160 00:06:52,643 --> 00:06:55,045 - IT WAS. - UH-HUH. 161 00:06:56,587 --> 00:06:59,519 THIS IS LOOKING VERY GOOD. THE WRITER IS VERY HAPPY. 162 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,551 THANK YOU, LIZBETH. JUST MAKING YOUR WORDS COME ALIVE. 163 00:07:01,552 --> 00:07:03,953 OKAY, WELL, LET'S RUN THAT AGAIN WHILE IT'S STILL FRESH. 164 00:07:03,954 --> 00:07:05,925 I DON'T MIND. 165 00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,156 ME EITHER. 166 00:07:07,157 --> 00:07:08,929 AND... ACTION. 167 00:07:11,662 --> 00:07:13,803 THE SCENE, LENNOX, I MEANT THE WHOLE SCENE. 168 00:07:13,804 --> 00:07:16,566 OH, OF COURSE. YES, WORDS. 169 00:07:16,567 --> 00:07:18,509 WORDS ARE VERY GOOD TOO. 170 00:07:20,741 --> 00:07:23,613 SO LOOK WHAT I HAD FLOWN IN JUST FOR JOE. 171 00:07:23,614 --> 00:07:25,875 MIGNONA'S FAMOUS FROM JERSEY CITY. 172 00:07:25,876 --> 00:07:27,046 YEAH. 173 00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:30,720 SO WE CAN FLY IN PIZZA FROM ANOTHER STATE, 174 00:07:30,721 --> 00:07:32,782 BUT I CAN'T BUY NEW SNEAKERS. 175 00:07:32,783 --> 00:07:36,125 WELL, IT'S HIS FAVORITE. A GIFT LIKE THIS CLEARLY SAYS 176 00:07:36,126 --> 00:07:37,927 "I SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU ABOUT THE JOB. 177 00:07:37,928 --> 00:07:40,690 I WAS WORRIED ABOUT NOTHING. AND I'M GLAD YOU GOT HIRED." 178 00:07:40,691 --> 00:07:42,892 THAT'S PUTTING A LOT OF PRESSURE ON A PIZZA. 179 00:07:42,893 --> 00:07:45,496 YEAH, BUT THIS WAY I DON'T ACTUALLY HAVE TO APOLOGIZE. 180 00:07:47,137 --> 00:07:49,198 HEY, LENNOX. LENNOX? 181 00:07:49,199 --> 00:07:50,570 EVERYTHING OKAY? 182 00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:52,742 NOTHING HAPPENED. IT WAS JUST A REHEARSAL. 183 00:07:52,743 --> 00:07:55,044 WHO'S TO SAY IT MEANS ANYTHING. CAN WE JUST DROP IT?! 184 00:07:55,045 --> 00:07:57,507 SORRY TO BADGER YOU LIKE THAT. 185 00:07:57,508 --> 00:07:59,649 SURPRISE. 186 00:07:59,650 --> 00:08:02,552 LOOK WHAT I SO THOUGHTFULLY GOT FOR YOU... PIZZA. 187 00:08:02,553 --> 00:08:04,754 OH, MIGNONA'S FAMOUS. I LOVE THIS PLACE. 188 00:08:04,755 --> 00:08:07,017 SHE GOT IT WITH EXTRA CHEESE AND DOUBLE MEANING. 189 00:08:08,719 --> 00:08:10,660 YEAH, AND GRAND EXPENSIVE GESTURE 190 00:08:10,661 --> 00:08:13,723 - TO CELEBRATE YOUR FIRST WEEK ON THE JOB. - THANK YOU. THANK YOU. 191 00:08:13,724 --> 00:08:16,196 - CAN I TALK TO YOU JUST REAL QUICK IN THE OTHER ROOM? - MM-HMM. 192 00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:21,030 SO THIS NOTHING THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN. 193 00:08:21,031 --> 00:08:22,702 DID IT NOT HAPPEN WITH ARCHER ADAMS? 194 00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:24,874 OH SHUT UP. YOU'RE NOT EVEN AT SCHOOL. 195 00:08:24,875 --> 00:08:26,906 YEAH, BUT I READ THE PLAY. IT'S PRETTY HOT. 196 00:08:26,907 --> 00:08:29,008 YOU KNOW A LOT OF ROMANCES START ON SET 197 00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,782 BECAUSE OF ALL THE... REHEARSING. 198 00:08:32,883 --> 00:08:34,584 JUST LOOK AT BRAD AND ANGELINA. 199 00:08:34,585 --> 00:08:36,586 - YOU KNOW NOTHING. - I KNOW THAT ZANDER'S 200 00:08:36,587 --> 00:08:38,719 ABOUT TO FIND OUT HE'S JENNIFER ANISTON. 201 00:08:40,290 --> 00:08:42,251 SO LOOK, I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS FIRST. 202 00:08:42,252 --> 00:08:44,293 BUT I WAS GOING OVER THE BUDGETS FOR THE CITY 203 00:08:44,294 --> 00:08:47,126 AND THE NUMBERS ARE NOT ADDING UP. THERE'S MONEY MISSING. 204 00:08:47,127 --> 00:08:48,658 DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS? 205 00:08:48,659 --> 00:08:50,529 ( sighs ) 206 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,602 OKAY. ABOUT A MONTH AGO, I USED PETTY CASH 207 00:08:52,603 --> 00:08:55,234 TO BUY TWO DOZEN MINI-BUNDT CAKES FOR A STAFF MEETING. 208 00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:58,137 NOBODY ATE THEM SO I BROUGHT THEM HOME. 209 00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:00,610 THE DISCREPANCY IS $1.2 MILLION. 210 00:09:00,611 --> 00:09:02,141 OKAY, THAT'S NOT ME. 211 00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:05,274 DAMN IT. WHY AM I ALWAYS STANDING FIVE FEET AWAY 212 00:09:05,275 --> 00:09:06,976 WHEN OTHER PEOPLE STEAL MONEY? 213 00:09:06,977 --> 00:09:09,649 IT'S LIKE THESE SCANDALS, THEY WILL JUST NOT LEAVE ME ALONE. 214 00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:11,621 YOU KNOW, NEITHER WILL HOT WOMEN, 215 00:09:11,622 --> 00:09:13,723 BUT THAT'S LIKE A WHOLE 'NOTHER 45 MINUTES. 216 00:09:13,724 --> 00:09:16,726 JOE, THIS HAPPENED BEFORE YOU GOT THERE... THAT MEANS YOU'VE DONE A GOOD JOB. 217 00:09:16,727 --> 00:09:19,659 YOU WERE HIRED TO FIND INEFFICIENCIES. YOU FOUND 1.2 MILLION OF THEM. 218 00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:21,731 NO NO, THESE ARE NOT INEFFICIENCIES, MEL. 219 00:09:21,732 --> 00:09:24,634 THIS IS A BIG PILE OF GOVERNMENT MONEY THAT GREW LEGS AND WALKED AWAY. 220 00:09:24,635 --> 00:09:28,638 ALTHOUGH FOR THAT KIND OF MONEY IT COULD HAVE BOUGHT A FERRARI AND DRIVEN ITSELF AWAY. 221 00:09:28,639 --> 00:09:30,339 I'M GONNA HAVE TO GO TELL WAGNER TONIGHT. 222 00:09:30,340 --> 00:09:33,142 JOE, NOT EVERY MILLION DOLLARS THAT'S MISSING IS A SCANDAL. 223 00:09:33,143 --> 00:09:35,705 IT COULD JUST BE SOME GOOD OLD-FASHIONED GOVERNMENT WASTE. 224 00:09:35,706 --> 00:09:37,107 HAVE FAITH IN THE SYSTEM. 225 00:09:40,711 --> 00:09:44,754 THOSE ARE SOME PRETTY GREAT-LOOKING ROCKS. 226 00:09:44,755 --> 00:09:47,156 YEAH, I WAS TRYING TO CAPTURE THE WAY THE WAVES CARVE... 227 00:09:47,157 --> 00:09:49,719 YOU KNOW, I'M SORRY. I'VE BEEN IN MY OWN HEAD LATELY. 228 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:52,291 I SHOULD HAVE ASKED YOU FIRST THING. HOW'D YOUR REHEARSAL GO? 229 00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:55,765 OH, YOU KNOW, THE USUAL. NOTHING SPECIAL. CERTAINLY NOTHING EXCITING. 230 00:09:55,766 --> 00:09:57,767 JUST, YOU KNOW, TALK TALK KISS KISS. 231 00:09:57,768 --> 00:09:59,669 KISS KISS KISS. 232 00:09:59,670 --> 00:10:02,331 BUT I'D PREFER TO KISS A GUY I'M ACTUALLY GOING OUT WITH. 233 00:10:02,332 --> 00:10:04,004 WELL, THAT CAN BE ARRANGED. 234 00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:09,038 DON'T BE AFRAID TO HOLD IT A LITTLE LONGER. 235 00:10:09,039 --> 00:10:11,011 AND TRY TURNING YOUR HEAD INTO IT. YOU KNOW? 236 00:10:14,945 --> 00:10:17,717 IS THAT WHAT YOU WERE LOOKING FOR? 237 00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:20,050 A LITTLE BIT. MAYBE IT'D BE BETTER IF WE STOOD UP. 238 00:10:22,252 --> 00:10:24,193 NOW TELL ME YOU MUST HAVE MY LIPS. 239 00:10:24,194 --> 00:10:25,855 WHAT IS THAT? A LINE FROM THE PLAY? 240 00:10:25,856 --> 00:10:27,997 NO, JUST SAY IT. IT'S FUN. 241 00:10:27,998 --> 00:10:30,329 I THOUGHT THE KISSING WAS THE FUN PART. 242 00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:31,961 SO WHY DO I HAVE TO SAY THAT? 243 00:10:31,962 --> 00:10:34,363 BECAUSE YOU'RE SWEPT AWAY WITH YOUR PASSION FOR ME 244 00:10:34,364 --> 00:10:37,236 LIKE EXCITEMENT WHEN WE FIRST MET AND YOU CAN NO LONGER CONTROL YOUR... 245 00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:39,709 - ( phone vibrates ) - OH, MY PHONE'S BUZZING. OH. 246 00:10:39,710 --> 00:10:41,771 "I MUST HAVE MY PHONE!" 247 00:10:41,772 --> 00:10:43,943 OH, IT'S THE GUY FROM THE SILK-SCREEN SHOP. 248 00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:47,047 - I'VE REALLY GOT TO TAKE THIS. - NO HURRY. 249 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:52,251 I BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW I WAS OVER HERE THE WHOLE TIME. 250 00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:54,153 YOU WERE LISTENING TO US? 251 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:56,025 YEAH, AND WATCHING YOU TRY AND CAST ZANDER 252 00:10:56,026 --> 00:10:58,689 IN THE NEW PLAY OF YOURS CALLED "KISSING ARCHER ADAMS." 253 00:11:00,190 --> 00:11:03,092 ALL RIGHT, WHAT I'M DOING WITH ARCHER IS ACTING 254 00:11:03,093 --> 00:11:04,834 THAT LOOKS LIKE KISSING. 255 00:11:04,835 --> 00:11:07,897 BUT WHEN I KISS ZANDER, 256 00:11:07,898 --> 00:11:10,269 THAT MEANS SOMETHING BECAUSE HE'S THE ONLY BOY 257 00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:11,941 I TRULY CARE ABOUT. 258 00:11:11,942 --> 00:11:14,173 MM-HMM. SO IN THE PLAY, 259 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,946 IS YOUR ACTING GONNA BE MORE BELIEVABLE THAN IT IS RIGHT NOW? 260 00:11:16,947 --> 00:11:18,378 ( sighs ) 261 00:11:19,710 --> 00:11:21,210 SEE, EVERY MONTH THE PARKS DISBURSEMENT 262 00:11:21,211 --> 00:11:22,411 SHOULD BE GETTING THIS $32,000. 263 00:11:22,412 --> 00:11:26,355 AND EVERY MONTH IT JUST DOESN'T SHOW UP. 264 00:11:26,356 --> 00:11:27,787 YOU KNOW IT'S... 265 00:11:27,788 --> 00:11:29,719 IT'S GONE. 266 00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:31,861 ALL... 267 00:11:31,862 --> 00:11:36,966 ALL $1.2 MILLION WORTH. 268 00:11:36,967 --> 00:11:38,998 JOE, WITH A GOVERNMENT THE SIZE OF TOLEDO 269 00:11:38,999 --> 00:11:41,170 A LITTLE MONEY GET'S MISPLACED ONCE IN A WHILE. 270 00:11:41,171 --> 00:11:44,133 IT'S LIKE WHEN CHANGE FALLS BETWEEN THE CUSHIONS OF A COUCH. 271 00:11:44,134 --> 00:11:45,935 THAT WOULD BE A PRETTY BIG COUCH. 272 00:11:45,936 --> 00:11:48,177 SO YOU SEE WHY WE HAD TO MEET TONIGHT. 273 00:11:48,178 --> 00:11:50,139 WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO DO SOMETHING. 274 00:11:50,140 --> 00:11:52,942 OR WE DON'T DO ANYTHING. 275 00:11:52,943 --> 00:11:55,144 I'M SORRY. WHAT? 276 00:11:55,145 --> 00:11:56,415 HERE'S THE THING. 277 00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:58,487 YOU DON'T NEED ANOTHER SCANDAL IN YOUR LIFE. 278 00:11:58,488 --> 00:12:01,490 WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT, THIS... THIS HAPPENED LONG BEFORE I STARTED WORKING HERE. 279 00:12:01,491 --> 00:12:04,423 WELL, WHO'S TO SAY REALLY? 280 00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:06,495 AND HOW WOULD IT LOOK FOR YOUR FRIEND? 281 00:12:06,496 --> 00:12:08,397 YOU KNOW, THE COUNCILWOMAN. 282 00:12:08,398 --> 00:12:10,259 SOMETHING LIKE THIS COMING OUT, 283 00:12:10,260 --> 00:12:13,033 IT COULD REALLY... IT COULD REALLY DAMAGE HER FUTURE. 284 00:12:14,204 --> 00:12:16,365 YOU KNOW WHY YOU'RE HERE, DON'T YOU? 285 00:12:16,366 --> 00:12:19,368 YOU'RE HERE BECAUSE I CAN TRUST YOU. 286 00:12:19,369 --> 00:12:21,740 YEAH, YOU CAN TRUST ME NOT TO BLOW THE WHISTLE 287 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:25,744 ON YOUR MONEY-SUCKING COUCH. 288 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:28,317 AH, IT'S VERY COMPLICATED, MAN. 289 00:12:28,318 --> 00:12:31,151 BUT HASN'T YOUR REPUTATION BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH? 290 00:12:33,023 --> 00:12:35,184 LET ME TAKE YOU OUT TO DINNER SOMETIME. 291 00:12:35,185 --> 00:12:37,526 YOU KNOW, I'M THINKING STEAK. 292 00:12:37,527 --> 00:12:39,488 OH YEAH. 293 00:12:39,489 --> 00:12:42,391 I BET YOU ARE. 294 00:12:42,392 --> 00:12:46,766 BIG, GREASY, SLIMY PIECE OF STEAK. 295 00:12:52,142 --> 00:12:54,143 IT'S HIM, BURKE. 296 00:12:54,144 --> 00:12:56,105 WAGNER'S THE ONE WHO'S BEEN TAKING ALL THE MONEY 297 00:12:56,106 --> 00:12:58,047 - OUT OF THE BUDGETS FOR THE PARKS. - ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS? 298 00:12:58,048 --> 00:12:59,949 YES, I'M POSITIVE. THAT'S WHY HE HIRED ME. 299 00:12:59,950 --> 00:13:02,481 SEE, HE KNEW IF I SAID ANYTHING, IT WAS GONNA BLOW UP ON ME AND YOU. 300 00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:04,313 CRAP, IT'S GONNA LOOK LIKE I'M INVOLVED. 301 00:13:04,314 --> 00:13:06,385 LIKE I BROUGHT YOU IN TO COVER MY TRACKS. 302 00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:08,918 OH, THERE GOES MY POLITICAL FUTURE. 303 00:13:08,919 --> 00:13:11,460 OOH, I NEVER SHOULD HAVE RECOMMENDED YOU FOR THIS JOB! 304 00:13:11,461 --> 00:13:13,863 YOU DIDN'T. YOU HID IT FROM ME. 305 00:13:13,864 --> 00:13:15,895 NOT WELL ENOUGH. 306 00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:17,126 WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT, LOOK... 307 00:13:17,127 --> 00:13:19,328 THERE IS ONE THING THAT WE MIGHT BE ABLE TO TRY, OKAY? 308 00:13:19,329 --> 00:13:21,330 WHEN THINGS STARTED TO GO SOUTH AT SCANLON, 309 00:13:21,331 --> 00:13:25,274 THE FBI CAME TO ME AND THEY ASKED ME IF I WOULD HELP SET UP A STING ON LEWIS. 310 00:13:25,275 --> 00:13:29,008 SO YOU WANT TO RUN A SECRET SPY OPERATION ON WAGNER? 311 00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:31,210 MAYBE WE COULD CRAWL THROUGH AIR DUCTS 312 00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:33,512 AND LOWER OURSELVES THROUGH ROTATING FAN BLADES. 313 00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:37,217 - WHAT DO YOU THINK, YOU'RE BRUCE WILLIS? - I COULD DO WHAT HE DOES. 314 00:13:38,488 --> 00:13:40,219 WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. LOOK LOOK. 315 00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:42,451 ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS GET WAGNER TO SAY THAT HE DID IT 316 00:13:42,452 --> 00:13:45,054 - WHILE WE RECORD HIM. - SO YOU'RE GONNA WEAR A WIRE? 317 00:13:45,055 --> 00:13:46,455 WELL, NO NO NO. NOT ME. 318 00:13:46,456 --> 00:13:49,929 MY CLOTHES ARE WAY TOO FORM-FITTING. THERE'D BE NOWHERE TO PUT IT. 319 00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:52,561 I KNOW WHERE I'D PUT IT. 320 00:13:52,562 --> 00:13:55,104 - NO, YOU'RE GONNA BE THE ONE WEARING THE WIRE. - WHAT? NO. 321 00:13:55,105 --> 00:13:59,208 I HAVE A VERY SPECIFIC LOOK WITH CLEAN LINES AND CLASSIC CURVES. 322 00:13:59,209 --> 00:14:02,341 BURKE, YOU KNOW IT'S NOT A REEL-TO-REEL TAPE DECK, RIGHT? 323 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:05,374 WHY DON'T YOU JUST GET A LOOSER SPORT JACKET AND HIDE IT IN THERE? 324 00:14:05,375 --> 00:14:08,147 WHAT? ME IN BAGGY CLOTHES?! NO, THAT WOULD PUT UP SO MANY RED FLAGS. 325 00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:10,119 OKAY, THIS IS NOT THAT DIFFICULT. 326 00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:12,251 LOOK, SAY THIS IS OUR SECRET RECORDING DEVICE. 327 00:14:12,252 --> 00:14:13,924 WHAT ARE YOU... WHAT ARE YOU... 328 00:14:15,225 --> 00:14:16,625 IT'S GONNA DO THAT EVERY TIME. 329 00:14:16,626 --> 00:14:19,288 JUST LIKE GRIP IT WITH YOUR PECS OR SOMETHING. 330 00:14:19,289 --> 00:14:21,060 WHAT DO YOU MEAN GRIP IT WITH MY... 331 00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:22,992 LIKE THAT. 332 00:14:22,993 --> 00:14:24,964 YEAH, I THINK WAGNER'S GONNA REALIZE 333 00:14:24,965 --> 00:14:27,167 THAT I DON'T HAVE A THIRD RECTANGULAR BOOB. 334 00:14:30,540 --> 00:14:33,272 AUNT MEL, CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING WOMAN TO WOMAN? 335 00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:36,305 CHICA A' CHICA? LAY IT ON ME. 336 00:14:36,306 --> 00:14:39,208 HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN AN AMAZINGLY HOT KISS 337 00:14:39,209 --> 00:14:40,379 FROM THE TOTALLY WRONG GUY? 338 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,551 YES. ONCE. 339 00:14:42,552 --> 00:14:44,554 FROM 2001 TO 2005. 340 00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:49,218 YOU KNOW THE PLAY THAT I'M IN? 341 00:14:49,219 --> 00:14:52,261 I'M KISSING THIS GUY ARCHER AND HE'S KISSING ME BACK 342 00:14:52,262 --> 00:14:54,323 AND IT'S DIFFERENT FROM WHEN I KISS ZANDER. 343 00:14:54,324 --> 00:14:56,095 - IT'S... - MORE EXCITING? 344 00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:57,896 MUCH MORE. 345 00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,369 I'M THINKING THERE MIGHT BE A STRONG CONNECTION WITH ARCHER. 346 00:15:00,370 --> 00:15:02,531 - WELL, WHAT ABOUT ZANDER? - I DON'T KNOW. 347 00:15:02,532 --> 00:15:04,503 THINGS HAVE KIND OF LOST THEIR SIZZLE. 348 00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:06,675 HE SPENDS ALL OF HIS TIME DRAWING ROCKS. 349 00:15:06,676 --> 00:15:09,538 HONEY, SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS CAN'T ALWAYS BE THRILLING. 350 00:15:09,539 --> 00:15:12,211 YOU KNOW, EVENTUALLY ALL GUYS DRAW ROCKS. 351 00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:15,184 SO IT STARTS OFF EXCITING AND THEN DROPS OFF TO BLEH? 352 00:15:15,185 --> 00:15:17,146 NOTHING WRONG WITH BLEH. 353 00:15:17,147 --> 00:15:19,648 LOOK, THERE'S NO FIREWORKS ON JULY 5th, BUT IT'S STILL NICE AND WARM. 354 00:15:19,649 --> 00:15:21,550 I'M TOO YOUNG TO SETTLE FOR WARM. 355 00:15:21,551 --> 00:15:24,423 - I NEED HOT. - SO ARE YOU SAYING YOU'RE READY TO BREAK UP WITH ZANDER? 356 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:27,156 ABSOLUTELY NOT, BUT DON'T YOU THINK I OWE IT TO MYSELF 357 00:15:27,157 --> 00:15:29,598 TO FIND OUT IF THERE'S SOMETHING THERE WITH ARCHER? 358 00:15:29,599 --> 00:15:32,061 I MEAN THAT KISS. 359 00:15:32,062 --> 00:15:33,932 OKAY, COME BACK FROM THE KISS. 360 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,564 THE KISS IS MESSING WITH YOUR HEAD. 361 00:15:35,565 --> 00:15:38,107 TAKE IT FROM SOMEONE WITH A LITTLE MORE EXPERIENCE. 362 00:15:38,108 --> 00:15:39,368 OKAY, A LOT MORE EXPERIENCE. 363 00:15:39,369 --> 00:15:41,640 YOU DON'T WANT TO RISK WHAT YOU HAVE WITH ZANDER. 364 00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:43,712 YOU KNOW WHAT? 365 00:15:43,713 --> 00:15:45,175 I'M GONNA CALL ARCHER. 366 00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:49,149 HONEY, YOU'RE PLAYING WITH FIRE. IT'S NOT WORTH IT. 367 00:15:51,181 --> 00:15:53,223 OH, WHO AM I KIDDING? I'D DO THE EXACT SAME THING. 368 00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:57,086 I THINK THIS EXTRA REHEARSAL TIME 369 00:15:57,087 --> 00:15:58,988 COULD REALLY HELP US. GOOD IDEA, LENNOX. 370 00:15:58,989 --> 00:16:02,191 WELL, YOU LEARN SO MUCH IN THIS PROCESS. I'M REALLY ENJOYING IT. 371 00:16:02,192 --> 00:16:04,033 I MEAN THE ACTING. 372 00:16:04,034 --> 00:16:07,496 YOU KNOW, DISCOVERING THE TRUTH IN EVERY MOMENT. 373 00:16:07,497 --> 00:16:10,399 I STILL FEEL LIKE THE KISS COULD USE MORE... 374 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:13,742 - DEFINITION. - OH, I TOTALLY AGREE. 375 00:16:13,743 --> 00:16:15,704 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 376 00:16:15,705 --> 00:16:18,407 LET'S JUST LET THE CHARACTERS GUIDE US. 377 00:16:18,408 --> 00:16:21,510 WHEN ALEJANDRO LEANS INTO CLARA, 378 00:16:21,511 --> 00:16:23,983 HE'S REALLY HOPING THAT... 379 00:16:26,056 --> 00:16:27,057 STOP! 380 00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:29,588 THAT'S NOT HOW YOU DO IT. 381 00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:31,560 WHEN YOU KISS A GIRL, YOU'VE GOT TO MEAN IT. 382 00:16:31,561 --> 00:16:33,263 LET ME SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE. 383 00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:41,230 - HOW WAS THAT? - PRETTY MUCH PERFECT. 384 00:16:41,231 --> 00:16:44,103 I'M TAKING YOU TO TOLEDO BEACH RIGHT NOW. 385 00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:47,576 JUST THE TWO OF US. WE'LL WATCH THE SUNSET. GO GET YOUR BOOKS. 386 00:16:47,577 --> 00:16:49,578 YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORK ON YOUR PORTFOLIO? 387 00:16:49,579 --> 00:16:52,212 SCREW THAT. BESIDES I ALREADY TURNED IT IN. 388 00:16:55,645 --> 00:16:57,586 HEY, MAN. 389 00:16:57,587 --> 00:16:59,288 THANKS FOR THE HEADS UP. 390 00:16:59,289 --> 00:17:01,220 SHE REALLY WAS FEELING UNAPPRECIATED. 391 00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:03,592 I'M TELLING YOU, A LITTLE PASSION GOES A LONG WAY. 392 00:17:03,593 --> 00:17:06,195 AND ANYWAY I DID IT AS MUCH FOR ME AS FOR YOU GUYS. 393 00:17:06,196 --> 00:17:08,327 KEVIN WAS REALLY UPSET ABOUT ALL THIS KISSING. 394 00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:11,100 THE LAST THING I NEED IS A JEALOUS BOYFRIEND. 395 00:17:11,101 --> 00:17:12,801 YOU'RE A TALENTED ACTOR. 396 00:17:12,802 --> 00:17:14,364 OH, NO DOUBT I AM FABULOUS. 397 00:17:16,166 --> 00:17:19,208 ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO, BABE. I'M SORRY TO SKIP OUT ON REHEARSALS, 398 00:17:19,209 --> 00:17:21,310 BUT WHEN YOUR MAN KISSES YOU LIKE THAT... 399 00:17:21,311 --> 00:17:22,571 I GET IT... 400 00:17:22,572 --> 00:17:24,174 TRUST ME. 401 00:17:26,816 --> 00:17:29,518 YOU'RE GONNA LIKE THE RIB EYE HERE. IT'S NOT CHEAP, BUT... 402 00:17:29,519 --> 00:17:31,721 - WE CAN AFFORD IT, RIGHT? - YES, WE CAN. 403 00:17:33,123 --> 00:17:35,124 ARE YOU TWO GONNA TELL ME WHAT THIS IS ABOUT? 404 00:17:35,125 --> 00:17:36,385 OR ARE YOU GONNA KEEP SHOOTING EACH OTHER LOOKS 405 00:17:36,386 --> 00:17:38,287 LIKE A COUPLE OF BAD POKER PLAYERS? 406 00:17:38,288 --> 00:17:39,658 HERE'S THE DEAL. 407 00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:41,360 WE BOTH KNOW THE MONEY IS MISSING. 408 00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:43,832 "MISSING." 409 00:17:43,833 --> 00:17:45,694 WE PROMISE NOT TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THE MONEY 410 00:17:45,695 --> 00:17:48,167 AS LONG AS WE GET A PIECE OF THE PIE. 411 00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:49,598 YEAH, AND A NICE PIECE TOO, 412 00:17:49,599 --> 00:17:53,372 YOU KNOW, WITH FRUIT IN IT. MADE WITH LOTS OF "DOUGH." 413 00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:55,204 I'M SURE WE CAN SPEAK CANDIDLY 414 00:17:55,205 --> 00:17:57,846 BECAUSE NO ONE HERE IS WEARING A WIRE. RIGHT? 415 00:17:57,847 --> 00:18:00,849 CLEARLY, LONGO, WITH THE WAY YOU DRESS, THERE'S NOWHERE TO PUT ONE ON YOU. 416 00:18:00,850 --> 00:18:04,213 SO I'M GUESSING IT'S THE ESTEEMED COUNCILWOMAN. 417 00:18:04,214 --> 00:18:06,685 NOW IS THAT A RECORDING DEVICE TUCKED UNDERNEATH THERE 418 00:18:06,686 --> 00:18:08,157 OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME? 419 00:18:08,158 --> 00:18:10,689 OH! 420 00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:12,261 TOTAL AMATEURS. 421 00:18:12,262 --> 00:18:14,293 I EXPECTED A LITTLE MORE INGENUITY. 422 00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:16,094 DID YOU GET THE EXTENDED WARRANTY? 423 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,727 - NO, I JUST... - OH, TOO BAD. 424 00:18:18,728 --> 00:18:21,270 YOU TOLD ME YOU COULDN'T SEE IT. 425 00:18:21,271 --> 00:18:23,202 WELL, I'M SORRY FOR NOT STARING DOWN YOUR SHIRT ALL NIGHT. 426 00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:26,235 LOVELY, ANTHONY, AS ALWAYS. 427 00:18:26,236 --> 00:18:27,736 I THINK WE SHOULD JUST DROP THE WHOLE MATTER 428 00:18:27,737 --> 00:18:29,238 AND ENJOY OURSELVES. 429 00:18:29,239 --> 00:18:31,310 LET'S JUST RELAX. 430 00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:33,412 SAVOR THE GOOD LIFE. 431 00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:35,214 WHILE THE CITY OF TOLEDO FOOTS THE BILL? 432 00:18:35,215 --> 00:18:36,285 I'M-A LICK IT. 433 00:18:36,286 --> 00:18:38,487 WHAT ARE YOU... 434 00:18:38,488 --> 00:18:40,489 YOU'RE ACTUALLY GONNA EAT? 435 00:18:40,490 --> 00:18:42,151 WHAT? 436 00:18:42,152 --> 00:18:45,254 WASTING A PERFECTLY GOOD RIB EYE WON'T PROVE ANYTHING. 437 00:18:45,255 --> 00:18:48,357 - ( coughs ) - OH MY GOD, LET ME JUST... 438 00:18:48,358 --> 00:18:50,128 NO NO NO. WAIT WAIT WAIT. 439 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,301 HOLD... HOLD... JUST HOLD ON A SECOND, MEL. 440 00:18:52,302 --> 00:18:54,333 - HE'S FINE. - ( bangs table ) 441 00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:57,307 DON'T WORRY. I GOT IT, REALLY. EAT, ENJOY IT, OKAY. 442 00:18:58,608 --> 00:19:00,410 THAT WAS A PRETTY BIG BITE THERE, PAUL. 443 00:19:02,212 --> 00:19:04,243 SO LOOK, HERE'S MY PROPOSAL, ALL RIGHT? 444 00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:06,715 I'M GONNA COME OVER THERE AND SAVE YOUR LIFE 445 00:19:06,716 --> 00:19:09,147 AS LONG AS YOU ADMIT THAT YOU STOLE THE MONEY. 446 00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,749 WOULD YOU DO THAT LITTLE THING FOR ME? YEAH? 447 00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,281 YOU WILL? OKAY. 448 00:19:12,282 --> 00:19:14,283 SO YOU DID IN FACT STEAL THE MONEY? 449 00:19:14,284 --> 00:19:16,225 - ( mutters ) - YOU DID? OKAY. ALL RIGHT, GREAT. 450 00:19:16,226 --> 00:19:17,756 READY? HERE WE GO. 451 00:19:17,757 --> 00:19:18,927 ONE. TWO. 452 00:19:18,928 --> 00:19:21,159 THREE. THAR SHE BLOWS. 453 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,232 - OKAY. - ( gasps ) 454 00:19:23,233 --> 00:19:25,764 YOU KNOW, I MADE HIM LEARN HOW TO DO THAT WHEN HE TOOK THE NANNY JOB. 455 00:19:25,765 --> 00:19:28,437 - SO I JUST TECHNICALLY SAVED YOUR LIFE TOO. - UH-HUH. 456 00:19:28,438 --> 00:19:31,670 THAT'S VERY CUTE, LONGO. BUT YOUR PROOF IS IN A GLASS OF WATER. 457 00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:34,203 - SO YOU GOT NOTHING. - BUT YOU DID TAKE THE MONEY? 458 00:19:34,204 --> 00:19:36,745 YEAH, I TOOK THE MONEY. BUT NO ONE'S GONNA BELIEVE THE TWO OF YOU... 459 00:19:36,746 --> 00:19:39,648 A WALL-STREET CON MAN AND HIS NAIVE CO-CONSPIRATOR. 460 00:19:39,649 --> 00:19:42,781 YOU GUYS SAY ANYTHING AND YOU BOTH GO DOWN. 461 00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:44,182 YOU KNOW WHAT'S GREAT, PAUL? 462 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:47,656 AT THAT LITTLE STORE WHERE THEY SELL YOU RECORDING DEVICES, 463 00:19:47,657 --> 00:19:50,420 THEY ALSO SELL ONES THAT... 464 00:19:52,522 --> 00:19:53,963 LOOK JUST LIKE SALT SHAKERS. 465 00:19:55,525 --> 00:19:57,926 THAT WAY AMATEURS LIKE US CAN LULL PROFESSIONALS LIKE YOU 466 00:19:57,927 --> 00:20:00,600 INTO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY WITH A DECOY. 467 00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:04,603 YOU DOUBLE-CROSSING SNAKE! 468 00:20:04,604 --> 00:20:07,205 OH, LET THE RECORD SHOW THAT THE COUNCILMAN WAS LOOKING AT ME 469 00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:08,677 WHEN HE MADE THAT UNKIND REMARK. 470 00:20:08,678 --> 00:20:10,980 LET THE RECORD ALSO SHOW THE COUNCILMAN IS A DOUCHEBAG. 471 00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:13,982 YOU WANNA GET THAT FOOD TO GO? 'CAUSE WE SHOULD PROBABLY 472 00:20:13,983 --> 00:20:15,814 JUST HEAD DOWN TO THE POLICE STATION LIKE RIGHT NOW. 473 00:20:15,815 --> 00:20:17,986 OH YEAH, LET'S STOP OFF AT CHANNEL SIX ON THE WAY. 474 00:20:17,987 --> 00:20:19,988 - YOU KNOW, THEY'LL EAT THIS UP. - AND YOU KNOW WHAT? 475 00:20:19,989 --> 00:20:23,322 - I BET THEY WON'T CHOKE ON IT. - YEAH, IT'LL PROBABLY GO DOWN SMOOTH AND EASY. 476 00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:24,993 YOU GUYS THINK YOU'RE CUTE, DON'T YOU? 477 00:20:24,994 --> 00:20:25,994 - YEAH, WE DO. - WE DO. 478 00:20:25,995 --> 00:20:28,227 WE GOT A THING. WE JUST KINDA... ( laughs ) 479 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:32,000 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 480 00:20:32,001 --> 00:20:32,962 - IT'S A $60 STEAK! - LET'S GO! 481 00:20:39,469 --> 00:20:40,669 ( music from television ) 482 00:20:40,670 --> 00:20:41,770 HURRY IT'S ON. IT'S ON. 483 00:20:41,771 --> 00:20:43,672 Two-term councilman Paul Wagner 484 00:20:43,673 --> 00:20:45,474 was arrested tonight 485 00:20:45,475 --> 00:20:48,477 for embezzlement of city funds. 486 00:20:48,478 --> 00:20:51,750 And who set up the sting that exposed the massive theft? 487 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,622 - None other than... - YOU'RE WELCOME. 488 00:20:53,623 --> 00:20:55,584 Councilwoman Mel Burke. 489 00:20:55,585 --> 00:20:56,985 NO MENTION OF ME? 490 00:20:56,986 --> 00:20:59,458 I THINK I SAID YOUR NAME. I'M ALMOST POSITIVE. 491 00:20:59,459 --> 00:21:00,759 And who was on 492 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:03,462 Paul Wagner's staff when the news broke? 493 00:21:03,463 --> 00:21:07,596 Disgraced financial wizard Joseph Longo. 494 00:21:07,597 --> 00:21:10,440 - OH, THERE YOU GO, JOE. - AND THEY CALLED YOU A WIZARD. 495 00:21:11,701 --> 00:21:13,702 And being wrapped up in this new scandal 496 00:21:13,703 --> 00:21:15,674 is probably gonna cost Longo his job. 497 00:21:15,675 --> 00:21:18,377 - WHAT?! - OH, COME ON. LIKE YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING? 498 00:21:18,378 --> 00:21:20,449 HEY, I DID MY JOB! ALL RIGHT? 499 00:21:20,450 --> 00:21:22,681 I FOUND WASTE! I FOUND CORRUPTION! 500 00:21:22,682 --> 00:21:24,012 MM-HMM. MM-HMM. 501 00:21:24,013 --> 00:21:25,955 WOULD YOU KNOCK THAT OFF?