1 00:00:07,678 --> 00:00:09,279 "MELISSA & JOEY" IS RECORDED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE. 2 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:11,541 IT'S A NO-GO, THERESA! 3 00:00:11,542 --> 00:00:15,014 YEAH, LOOK, I LOVE NONA AS WELL. SHE'S MY GRANDMOTHER TOO! 4 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:17,118 LOOK, IF THERE WAS A WAY I COULD DO IT, I'D DO IT! 5 00:00:18,119 --> 00:00:20,250 YEAH, YOU TOO! 6 00:00:20,251 --> 00:00:23,323 JEEZ, WHY ARE YOU SO MAD AT YOUR SISTER? 7 00:00:23,324 --> 00:00:25,795 I'M NOT MAD AT HER. THAT'S NEW JERSEY FOR "I LOVE YOU." 8 00:00:25,796 --> 00:00:28,628 WOW, SO HOW DO YOU TELL IF SOMEONE IS ANGRY? 9 00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:30,660 THE POLICE SHOW UP. 10 00:00:30,661 --> 00:00:32,302 I AM UPSET THOUGH. 11 00:00:32,303 --> 00:00:36,035 MY GRANDMOTHER SOFIA IS FAILING. 12 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:38,668 NEXT WEEK IS HER BIRTHDAY AND IT'S PROBABLY GOING TO BE HER LAST. 13 00:00:38,669 --> 00:00:41,811 AND ALL SHE WANTS IS TO SEE ME AND TIFFANY TOGETHER 14 00:00:41,812 --> 00:00:44,774 - ONE FINAL TIME. - WHY DOES SHE WANT TO SEE YOUR EX-WIFE? 15 00:00:44,775 --> 00:00:47,578 I KINDA NEVER TOLD HER THAT WE GOT DIVORCED. 16 00:00:48,779 --> 00:00:51,621 - SO YOU LIED TO HER. - HEY, I WAS PROTECTING HER! 17 00:00:51,622 --> 00:00:53,423 WHY CAN'T YOU PEOPLE SEE THAT?! 18 00:00:53,424 --> 00:00:57,557 JOE, WE'RE SIMPLE OHIO PEOPLE. NO YELLING IS REQUIRED. 19 00:00:57,558 --> 00:01:01,261 I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY. ONCE I LET THE JERSEY OUT, IT'S VERY HARD TO WALK IT BACK. 20 00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:03,463 - JOE, HAVE SOME GUAVA JUICE. - THANK YOU, MAN, THANK YOU. 21 00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:07,237 SO WHEN YOU GO BACK THERE TO SEE HER, WHAT'RE YOU GOING TO SAY? 22 00:01:07,238 --> 00:01:10,400 "HAPPY 99th BIRTHDAY, NONA. I'M DIVORCED." 23 00:01:10,401 --> 00:01:13,643 I MIGHT AS WELL JUST PLUNGE A KNIFE INTO HER CONGESTED OLD HEART. 24 00:01:13,644 --> 00:01:16,576 HEY, WHY DON'T YOU JUST ASK TIFFANY TO GO WITH YOU 25 00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,778 SO YOU CAN PRETEND YOU'RE MARRIED FOR A COUPLE HOURS? 26 00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:23,153 THAT IS THE STUPIDEST IDEA I EVER HEARD AND I ALREADY TRIED THAT. 27 00:01:23,154 --> 00:01:25,255 WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY THOUGH? 28 00:01:25,256 --> 00:01:27,517 I-I DON'T REALLY WANT TO ASK ANY MORE QUESTIONS. 29 00:01:27,518 --> 00:01:30,220 MY NONA'S EYESIGHT'S SO BAD SHE PROBABLY WOULDN'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE 30 00:01:30,221 --> 00:01:33,693 BETWEEN TIFFANY AND A WALL. I MEAN, YOU KNOW, IF THE WALL WAS, LIKE, STACKED 31 00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:37,667 AND WORE A LEOPARD-PRINT SKIRT AND A LOT OF MAKE-UP. ( chuckles ) 32 00:01:37,668 --> 00:01:40,170 HONESTLY, ANY BLONDE LIKE THAT WOULD PROBABLY DO. 33 00:01:40,171 --> 00:01:42,772 HELLO, PEOPLE OF MY KITCHEN! 34 00:01:42,773 --> 00:01:47,607 I WAS SHOE SHOPPING. CHECK OUT THE LATEST IN STILETTO HEELS. 35 00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:50,110 NOW BE HONEST, EVERYONE. DO THESE MAKE ME LOOK TOO TRASHY? 36 00:01:53,644 --> 00:01:55,546 I'D SAY JUST TRASHY ENOUGH. 37 00:01:57,648 --> 00:01:58,888 ( theme music playing ) 38 00:01:58,889 --> 00:02:00,550 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD ♪ - ♪ All good ♪ 39 00:02:00,551 --> 00:02:02,592 - ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪ - ♪ Okay ♪ 40 00:02:02,593 --> 00:02:04,154 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT ♪ - ♪ All right ♪ 41 00:02:04,155 --> 00:02:06,156 ♪ AS FAR AS I CAN SEE ♪ 42 00:02:06,157 --> 00:02:07,697 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD ♪ - ♪ All good ♪ 43 00:02:07,698 --> 00:02:09,459 - ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪ - ♪ Okay ♪ 44 00:02:09,460 --> 00:02:11,361 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT ♪ - ♪ All right ♪ 45 00:02:11,362 --> 00:02:14,204 ♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK ♪ 46 00:02:14,205 --> 00:02:16,837 ♪ WITH ME ♪ 47 00:02:19,410 --> 00:02:20,740 C'MON, IT'S TWO DAYS OUT OF YOUR LIFE! 48 00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:21,712 EVERYONE ELSE'LL KNOW THE TRUTH. 49 00:02:21,713 --> 00:02:23,213 ALL YOU'LL HAVE TO FOOL IS MY GRANDMOTHER. 50 00:02:23,214 --> 00:02:24,814 THE WHOLE IDEA IS RIDICULOUS! 51 00:02:24,815 --> 00:02:26,646 NOBODY WOULD BELIEVE ME AS TIFFANY. 52 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,548 I'M WAY TOO CLASSY! 53 00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:30,750 IT'S A DYING WOMAN'S LAST REQUEST! 54 00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:32,151 DON'T GUILT TRIP ME. 55 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,723 AND WHAT ARE YOU GETTING SO MAD ABOUT ANYWAY? 56 00:02:33,724 --> 00:02:36,456 WHAT? THIS IS A CONVERSATIONAL TONE IN NEW JERSEY. 57 00:02:36,457 --> 00:02:39,259 COME ON, AUNT MEL, ALL FOUR OF US CAN GO. 58 00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:41,391 IT'LL BE LIKE CULTURAL ANTHROPOLOGY... 59 00:02:41,392 --> 00:02:44,664 YOU KNOW, OBSERVE THE LONGOS IN THEIR NATURAL HABITAT. 60 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:47,537 - DON'T YOU HAVE PROM? - I DECIDED NOT TO GO. 61 00:02:47,538 --> 00:02:50,940 ZANDER AND I ARE IN A PRE-COLLEGE SEPARATION. IT'S A PAUSE. 62 00:02:50,941 --> 00:02:53,773 AND NO, I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. 63 00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,345 A TRIP TO JERSEY? I'M IN. 64 00:02:55,346 --> 00:02:57,277 BOY, DO I NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE. 65 00:02:57,278 --> 00:02:58,678 WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS HOUSE? 66 00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:01,311 HOME SCHOOLING IS NOT THE AMUSEMENT-PARK RIDE 67 00:03:01,312 --> 00:03:03,913 IT'S CRACKED UP TO BE. YOU KNOW HOW MANY TILES ARE ON THAT WALL? 68 00:03:03,914 --> 00:03:05,915 4,076. 69 00:03:05,916 --> 00:03:08,458 G'HEAD, COUNT 'EM. 70 00:03:08,459 --> 00:03:09,719 YOU KNOW WHAT, GUYS? 71 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:12,362 I APPRECIATE THE FACT THAT YOU'D BE WILLING TO GO. 72 00:03:12,363 --> 00:03:14,624 IT SHOWS REALLY REALLY GREAT CHARACTER. 73 00:03:14,625 --> 00:03:18,197 BUT UNFORTUNATELY WITHOUT TIFFANY THE WHOLE TRIP IS A LOST CAUSE. 74 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:21,200 LET ME SAY IT TO YOU IN JERSEY: I AIN'T GOIN'! 75 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:22,902 ALL RIGHT, LOOK, I'VE MET YOUR EX-WIFE. 76 00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:25,275 I JUST DON'T SEE MYSELF BEING ABLE TO PULL THAT OFF. 77 00:03:25,276 --> 00:03:26,976 THAT WHOLE LITTLE GIRL ACT? IT'S NOT ME. 78 00:03:26,977 --> 00:03:29,479 ALL RIGHT, FINE. GUESS I WAS ASKING TOO MUCH. 79 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:32,282 I'LL JUST MAKE THE TRIP MYSELF AND I'LL TELL HER I'M DIVORCED 80 00:03:32,283 --> 00:03:34,484 AND SHE'LL JUST HAVE TO LIVE WITH IT. 81 00:03:34,485 --> 00:03:37,318 OR I GUESS... DIE WITH IT. 82 00:03:40,991 --> 00:03:42,522 ALL RIGHT, LOOK, I KNOW YOU THINK 83 00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:43,924 I'M BEING SELFISH, BUT YOU'RE WRONG. 84 00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:48,629 WHO WANTS TO SEE THE OTHER SHOES I BOUGHT? ( squeals ) 85 00:03:49,530 --> 00:03:51,831 ( loudly ) YES YES, NONA! 86 00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:53,933 IT'S JOEY. 87 00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:55,735 YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. 88 00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:58,769 I'M GONNA BE THERE SATURDAY. I WOULDN'T MISS IT. 89 00:03:59,770 --> 00:04:01,941 N... NO NO. 90 00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:04,614 TIFFANY'S NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO MAKE IT. 91 00:04:04,615 --> 00:04:06,676 NO NO... NO NO, HEY HEY, DON'T... 92 00:04:06,677 --> 00:04:10,480 DON'T... DON'T CRY, NONA. NO NO, IT'S REALLY NOT GOOD FOR YOUR HEART. 93 00:04:10,481 --> 00:04:12,622 IT'S JUST... NO! 94 00:04:12,623 --> 00:04:14,824 NO, MY WIFE LOVES YOU. ( laughs ) 95 00:04:14,825 --> 00:04:17,887 MORE THAN SHE LOVES ME, I CAN SAY THAT HONESTLY. 96 00:04:17,888 --> 00:04:20,630 - IT'S JUST THAT... NO, HEY! - WHAT IS THAT BOY TELLING YOU? 97 00:04:20,631 --> 00:04:24,494 OF COURSE I'M COMING, NONA! NO, JOEJOEBEE IS JUST BEING A SILLY WILLY. 98 00:04:24,495 --> 00:04:27,337 BUT I LOVE HIM OODLES AND OODLES AND OODLES. 99 00:04:27,338 --> 00:04:28,998 I'LL SEE YOU SATURDAY. MWAH MWAH MWAH! 100 00:04:28,999 --> 00:04:30,700 - ( beeps ) - HOW WAS THAT? 101 00:04:30,701 --> 00:04:33,873 PRETTY MUCH DEAD ON. 102 00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,875 ARE YOU REALLY GONNA DO THIS FOR ME? 103 00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:38,578 ( sighs ) YEAH, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT EITHER. 104 00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:40,911 SHE BETTER REALLY BE DYING OR I'M GOING TO BE PISSED. 105 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,688 WELCOME TO MOLLER STREET, EVERYBODY! 106 00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:50,620 THIS IS THE VIA VENETO OF SECAUCUS! 107 00:04:50,621 --> 00:04:54,023 LITERALLY THE HIGHEST CONCENTRATION OF LONGOS ON THE EASTERN SEABOARD. 108 00:04:54,024 --> 00:04:57,467 - SO THE WHOLE LONGO MOB LIVES HERE, HUH? - HEY, YO YO YO, 109 00:04:57,468 --> 00:05:00,571 - WE DON'T USE THE "M" WORD IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD, ALL RIGHT? - WHAT, MAFIA? 110 00:05:02,433 --> 00:05:04,635 WHAT'S UP, MR. SPIZERI? HOW YOU DOIN'? 111 00:05:06,437 --> 00:05:08,438 ALL RIGHT, YEAH! 112 00:05:08,439 --> 00:05:10,780 SO HOW'S MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE DOING IN THERE, HUH? 113 00:05:10,781 --> 00:05:14,514 ( groans ) JUST ADJUSTING MY GOLDEN GLOBES. 114 00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:16,746 ARE THEY SYMMETRICAL? 115 00:05:16,747 --> 00:05:18,648 - MAY I? - YEAH, GO FOR IT. 116 00:05:18,649 --> 00:05:20,691 I CAN'T FEEL A THING. THIS IS ALL PUSH-UP AND PADDING. 117 00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:25,995 IT'S IDENTICAL TWINS, RIGHT, GUYS? 118 00:05:25,996 --> 00:05:28,428 JO-EEEEY! 119 00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:30,530 MOM, HEY! 120 00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:33,603 ARE YOU EVEN MORE HANDSOME THAN YOU WERE THE LAST TIME? 121 00:05:33,604 --> 00:05:35,705 ( laughs ) I THINK SO. 122 00:05:35,706 --> 00:05:38,768 - THAT'S MY BOY. THAT'S MY BOY. - Both: MWAH MWAH! 123 00:05:38,769 --> 00:05:40,840 AND HERE'S THE FAMILY. 124 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:43,743 IS THIS THE MEL BURKE? 125 00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:45,445 THIS IS MEL BURKE. 126 00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:48,047 THIS IS TIFFANY. 127 00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:50,850 GOT IT. AND THESE ARE THE KIDS WITH THE WEIRD NAMES? 128 00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:53,583 YEAH, THIS IS LENNOX, THAT THERE IS RYDER, THIS IS MY MOTHER. 129 00:05:53,584 --> 00:05:54,624 - HI. - HOW'S IT GOING? 130 00:05:54,625 --> 00:05:57,757 - HEY, HOW'S NONA DOING? - FANTASTIC! 131 00:05:57,758 --> 00:06:00,029 CONSIDERING SHE'S AT DEATH'S DOOR... 132 00:06:00,030 --> 00:06:02,962 HOLD ON. THAT'S HOW YOU'RE WALKING? 133 00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:05,435 - IT'S WORKED MY WHOLE LIFE. - NO. 134 00:06:05,436 --> 00:06:07,397 ANYBODY CAN SEE IT'S NOT TIFFANY. 135 00:06:07,398 --> 00:06:08,798 MUCH TOO LADY-LIKE. 136 00:06:08,799 --> 00:06:10,870 YOU GOTTA WORK IT LIKE A SKANKY DEBUTANTE. 137 00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:13,743 TRAMP, SLUT, TRAMP, SLUT, TRAMP, SLUT, 138 00:06:13,744 --> 00:06:17,647 TRAMP, SLUT, TRAMP, SLUT SLUT, TRAMP TRAMP, SLUT SLUT... 139 00:06:17,648 --> 00:06:20,611 MOM, MOM. WE GET IT. WE GET IT. THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD GETS IT. 140 00:06:22,453 --> 00:06:23,754 C'MON, GUYS. 141 00:06:25,556 --> 00:06:27,917 - ( door closes ) - SHH SHH SHH! 142 00:06:27,918 --> 00:06:30,490 - OKAY OKAY. - YO, BIG SIS! 143 00:06:30,491 --> 00:06:32,492 SHH, JOEY! NONA'S SLEEPING. 144 00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:35,164 THANK GOD THE DOCTORS STILL LET US GIVE HER WINE. 145 00:06:35,165 --> 00:06:37,727 - UNCLE JOE! - HEY. 146 00:06:37,728 --> 00:06:39,499 HOW WAS THE DRIVE? DID YOU TAKE THE PARKWAY? 147 00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:42,432 NO, I-95. 65 MILES PER THE WHOLE WAY, NO TOLLS. 148 00:06:42,433 --> 00:06:45,505 - THAT IS GENIUS. - WE'LL LET THE HISTORIANS JUDGE, KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 149 00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:47,477 YEAH, GUYS, THIS IS MY NEPHEW MARCO. 150 00:06:47,478 --> 00:06:49,679 MARCO, MEET RYDER AND THAT THERE IS LENNOX. 151 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:52,442 LENNOX? THAT'S NOT A MOLLER-STREET NAME. 152 00:06:52,443 --> 00:06:55,184 IT'S SCOTTISH. IT MEANS "WITH MANY ELM TREES." 153 00:06:55,185 --> 00:06:57,818 I DON'T KNOW ANY ELM TREES, BUT I BET I'D LIKE 'EM. 154 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:02,452 SO DO WE JUST STAND HERE UNTIL SHE WAKES UP OR... 155 00:07:02,453 --> 00:07:04,594 - DOESN'T WAKE UP? - LET HER SLEEP. 156 00:07:04,595 --> 00:07:07,927 WE'LL GET YOU FOLKS FED, ESPECIALLY THE SKINNY BOY. 157 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,500 - C'MON. - ALL RIGHT, THE SKINNY BOY! 158 00:07:10,501 --> 00:07:12,662 I ALREADY HAVE A STREET NAME. 159 00:07:12,663 --> 00:07:14,504 ( clatters ) 160 00:07:14,505 --> 00:07:18,608 HEY, NONA! HEY, IT'S ME... JOEY! 161 00:07:18,609 --> 00:07:20,439 JOEY! 162 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,942 OH, AND IS THAT TIFFANY? 163 00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,874 WHO ELSE WOULD IT BE? 164 00:07:24,875 --> 00:07:27,117 OH OH. 165 00:07:28,919 --> 00:07:31,450 ( Joe chuckles ) WHAT ARE YOU... 166 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,953 ( chuckles ) IT'S... 167 00:07:35,085 --> 00:07:37,727 - IT'S REALLY YOU! - ( laughs ) 168 00:07:37,728 --> 00:07:39,158 OH, MY TIFFANY! 169 00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:40,189 AND YOU, JOEY! 170 00:07:40,190 --> 00:07:42,462 - MA FAMILIA! - HEY! 171 00:07:44,495 --> 00:07:46,096 WE'RE IN. 172 00:07:53,103 --> 00:07:57,006 99 YEARS OLD TOMORROW, WOW, 173 00:07:57,007 --> 00:07:59,649 - WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO GET HER? - SOFT FOOD. 174 00:07:59,650 --> 00:08:03,983 SO, LENNOX, GIRL OF THE ELMS, 175 00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:06,155 - LISTEN... - I HAVE A BOYFRIEND. THANK YOU. 176 00:08:06,156 --> 00:08:08,157 AND I'M SURE HE'S A GREAT GUY. 177 00:08:08,158 --> 00:08:10,560 I WAS JUST GONNA OFFER TO SHOW YOU AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD. 178 00:08:10,561 --> 00:08:12,992 THERE MIGHT BE A BODY FLOATING DOWN THE RIVER. 179 00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:15,796 I'M KIDDING. THEY FISHED IT OUT LAST WEEK. 180 00:08:17,668 --> 00:08:21,631 WELL, I AM VERY CURIOUS ABOUT NEW JERSEY... 181 00:08:21,632 --> 00:08:24,133 ITS WAYS AND CUSTOMS, YOUR CULTURAL MORES. 182 00:08:24,134 --> 00:08:26,205 HEY, THERE'S A BRAND-NEW DOLLAR STORE THAT JUST OPENED UP. 183 00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:29,008 YOU CAN BUY A PACK OF "AA" BATTERIES FOR A BUCK. 184 00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,010 WELL, WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR? 185 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:35,014 HEY, MARCO! STOP FLIRTING AND GET NONA A FRESH PILLOWCASE. 186 00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,246 I'M ON IT, MA. 187 00:08:38,048 --> 00:08:40,650 SO WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND? 188 00:08:40,651 --> 00:08:44,193 AREN'T YOU AND ZANDER ON A WHOLE PRE-COLLEGE TRIAL-SEPARATION "PAUSE" THING? 189 00:08:44,194 --> 00:08:48,127 YES. HOWEVER, I AM UTTERLY UNINTERESTED IN SOMEONE LIKE MARCO, 190 00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:50,229 SO I LIED AND SAID I WAS TAKEN. 191 00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:52,802 ALL GIRLS SAY THAT TO GUYS THEY DON'T LIKE. 192 00:08:52,803 --> 00:08:54,203 THEY DO? 193 00:08:54,204 --> 00:08:56,266 THAT EXPLAINS SO MUCH. 194 00:08:57,307 --> 00:09:00,239 JOEY, THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME 195 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:03,943 YOUR GRANDMOTHER HAS BEEN ON HER FEET IN A WEEK. 196 00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:06,015 AND YOU KNOW WHY? 197 00:09:06,016 --> 00:09:08,948 YOU. SHE SAW "TIFFANY" 198 00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:11,651 AND IT GAVE HER THE WILL TO LIVE. 199 00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:13,322 HA! AND YOU DIDN'T THINK I COULD PULL THIS OFF. 200 00:09:13,323 --> 00:09:15,855 NO, THAT WAS YOU. I BEGGED YOU TO DO IT. 201 00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:18,758 - LET IT GO. - I WILL SAY THIS: 202 00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:21,962 SHE IS A BIG IMPROVEMENT OVER THE ORIGINAL BLOW-UP DOLL. 203 00:09:23,634 --> 00:09:25,995 MEL BURKE, YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY A VERY GIVING 204 00:09:25,996 --> 00:09:30,299 - AND SELFLESS PERSON. - SEE, SHE GETS ME. 205 00:09:30,300 --> 00:09:33,172 HEY, GLORIA, DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE OF THAT CAPA... 206 00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:34,944 CAPA MEAT STUFF? 207 00:09:34,945 --> 00:09:37,647 CAPICOLA. CAPICOLA. 208 00:09:37,648 --> 00:09:39,248 CAPICOLA. CAPICOLA. 209 00:09:39,249 --> 00:09:41,110 - SAY IT. - CAPICOLA? 210 00:09:41,111 --> 00:09:42,982 HE'S ITALIAN! 211 00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:44,914 AND SO HANDSOME. 212 00:09:44,915 --> 00:09:47,086 YOU REMIND ME OF THIS ONE OVER HERE. 213 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:49,919 NOW YOU JUST SIT DOWN AND I WILL DO EVERYTHING. 214 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,822 - YOU'VE HAD A HARD DAY. - BUT I WAS JUST SITTING IN A CAR. 215 00:09:52,823 --> 00:09:55,094 WASTING AWAY IN A CAR IF YOU ASK ME. 216 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,967 NOW YOU JUST SIT DOWN AND EAT WHILE I TELL YOU 217 00:09:57,968 --> 00:10:01,270 WHAT A GOOD-LOOKING AND WONDERFUL BOY YOU ARE. 218 00:10:01,271 --> 00:10:05,234 WOW, WE ARE WITNESSING THE ORIGIN STORY OF JOE'S EGO. 219 00:10:05,235 --> 00:10:08,038 - ( Ryder chuckles ) - YEAH. 220 00:10:11,081 --> 00:10:13,142 - HEY. - JOEY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 221 00:10:13,143 --> 00:10:15,614 IN 20 MINUTES WE WAKE HER TO WATCH "JEOPARDY." 222 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,387 I MEAN, SHE DOESN'T KNOW ANY OF THE ANSWERS, BUT SHE LIKES THE SONG. 223 00:10:18,388 --> 00:10:21,691 - WE'RE JUST GOING TO GO TO THE HOTEL. - TIFFANY! 224 00:10:21,692 --> 00:10:23,292 ( screams ) OH, IT'S GOT ME! 225 00:10:23,293 --> 00:10:26,395 - I MEAN, UH, YES, NONA? - WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 226 00:10:26,396 --> 00:10:28,658 WE'LL BE BACK IN A COUPLE HOURS, OKAY? 227 00:10:28,659 --> 00:10:30,059 DON'T LEAVE ME. 228 00:10:30,060 --> 00:10:33,262 I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH TIME I HAVE LEFT. I'M SO WEAK. 229 00:10:33,263 --> 00:10:35,404 OW OW OW OW OW! 230 00:10:35,405 --> 00:10:37,937 PLEASE, STAY IN THIS HOUSE TONIGHT. 231 00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:40,109 IF WE DO, WILL YOU LET GO? 232 00:10:40,110 --> 00:10:42,411 YOU CAN SLEEP IN JOEY'S OLD ROOM. 233 00:10:42,412 --> 00:10:44,944 US? TOGETHER? 234 00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:47,848 LIKE A MARRIED COUPLE DOES. 235 00:10:49,019 --> 00:10:52,351 UH, YES YES. OF COURSE WE WILL, NONA. 236 00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:54,884 - ANYTHING YOU SAY. - BUT, JOEJOEBEE, 237 00:10:54,885 --> 00:10:57,426 - WE HAVE A HOTEL RESERVATION. - YES, TIFFYPOP, 238 00:10:57,427 --> 00:11:00,029 BUT NONA'S DYING FOR US TO SLEEP HERE. 239 00:11:00,030 --> 00:11:01,831 OKEYDOKEY. WE'LL STAY HERE. 240 00:11:01,832 --> 00:11:03,292 ( chuckles ) 241 00:11:03,293 --> 00:11:05,434 IT'S A SMALL BED. 242 00:11:05,435 --> 00:11:08,438 SO YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO GET REAL COZY. 243 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:11,300 ( laughs ) 244 00:11:11,301 --> 00:11:13,904 I JUST MADE A JOKE. 245 00:11:14,975 --> 00:11:16,346 - ( slaps ) - OW! 246 00:11:19,049 --> 00:11:21,310 YOUR SWEET OLD GRANDMOTHER JUST GROPED ME ON THE ASS. 247 00:11:21,311 --> 00:11:23,884 IF YOU'RE GONNA SHAKE IT LIKE THAT, YOU CAN'T BLAME HER. 248 00:11:25,315 --> 00:11:27,186 HEY, SO AS SOON AS THE HOUSE QUIETS DOWN, 249 00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,789 I'LL MOVE DOWNSTAIRS AND BUNK IN THE SPARE ROOM, OKAY? 250 00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:31,390 WELL, I AM NOT SLEEPING 251 00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:34,824 UNDER A POSTER OF WHOEVER THAT CHICK IS ON THE CEILING. 252 00:11:34,825 --> 00:11:38,067 ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WHO GREW UP IN AMERICA AND DIDN'T KNOW WHO VENDELA WAS? 253 00:11:38,068 --> 00:11:40,369 - WHO? - VENDELA KIRSEBOM, 254 00:11:40,370 --> 00:11:42,201 THE SWIMSUIT MODEL. C'MON, SHE WAS HUGE. 255 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:45,004 ACTUALLY IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD SHE WAS EVEN BIGGER THAN ASHLEY MONTANA. 256 00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:46,906 AGAIN, WHO? 257 00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:48,407 THAT ONE OVER THERE, 258 00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:51,941 WITH THE SNAKE COVERING UP ALL THE GOOD STUFF. 259 00:11:51,942 --> 00:11:55,444 YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU AND THE GIRLS CAN STAY HERE AND RELIVE THE GLORY DAYS 260 00:11:55,445 --> 00:11:57,987 AND I'LL GO FIND A ROOM WHERE THE DECOR IS A LITTLE LESS 261 00:11:57,988 --> 00:12:00,290 "MA, WOULD YOU KNOCK FIRST?!" 262 00:12:03,453 --> 00:12:05,255 HOW YOU LADIES BEEN? 263 00:12:06,957 --> 00:12:08,899 ( door opens ) 264 00:12:16,867 --> 00:12:19,138 AHH AHH! NONA! 265 00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:22,211 UH, LOOK AT YOU, SMACKING PEOPLE AWAKE. 266 00:12:22,212 --> 00:12:25,976 I KNOW THE TRUTH! YOU ARE NOT FOOLING ANYBODY. 267 00:12:33,023 --> 00:12:34,854 I KNOW WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON! 268 00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:37,156 UM, WELL, YOU SEE, I... 269 00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:39,859 I DID IT ALL FOR JOE. IT COMES FROM A GOOD PLACE. 270 00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:41,760 DON'T DIE, OKAY? 271 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:44,163 THERE IS TROUBLE IN THIS MARRIAGE. 272 00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:45,534 OH, MARRIAGE! 273 00:12:45,535 --> 00:12:48,167 NO NO, THERE'S NO TROUBLE. 274 00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:50,870 NO, THIS IS WHAT WE DO TO KEEP THINGS FRESH. 275 00:12:50,871 --> 00:12:53,472 YOU KNOW, WHEN JOE WANTS ME, HE HAS TO COME FIND ME. 276 00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:55,345 COME AND GET ME, JOEJOEBEE! 277 00:12:56,546 --> 00:12:59,348 A WIFE SHOULD SHARE HER HUSBAND'S BED. 278 00:12:59,349 --> 00:13:02,012 - GENERALLY YES... - HEY, WHAT'S UP? 279 00:13:03,053 --> 00:13:05,214 - NONA! - YOU FOUND ME, LOVER! 280 00:13:05,215 --> 00:13:07,256 I WAS JUST EXPLAINING TO DEAR NONA 281 00:13:07,257 --> 00:13:11,020 HOW I LIKE TO HIDE, WHICH EXPLAINS WHY I WASN'T SLEEPING IN YOUR BED. 282 00:13:11,021 --> 00:13:13,322 OHHH, YES YES. 283 00:13:13,323 --> 00:13:15,865 YES, THAT'S SOMETHING THAT WE LIKE TO DO. 284 00:13:15,866 --> 00:13:17,026 IT KEEPS IT EXCITING. 285 00:13:17,027 --> 00:13:18,527 - ( laughs ) WHERE ARE YOU, HUH? - BOO. 286 00:13:18,528 --> 00:13:20,029 - WHERE ARE YOU? - BOO. 287 00:13:20,030 --> 00:13:21,400 THERE SHE IS. SHE'S RIGHT THERE, YOU SEE... 288 00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:23,903 THERE IS GREAT UNHAPPINESS BETWEEN YOU TWO. 289 00:13:23,904 --> 00:13:27,136 THAT'S WHY THERE ARE NO CHILDREN IN THIS MARRIAGE. 290 00:13:27,137 --> 00:13:29,038 - OOH. - OH OH OH, HERE HERE HERE. 291 00:13:29,039 --> 00:13:31,010 COME ON, LET'S SET YOU DOWN. COME ON. 292 00:13:31,011 --> 00:13:32,541 MEL, UP PLEASE, THANK YOU. 293 00:13:32,542 --> 00:13:34,944 THANK YOU, MEL. THERE YOU GO, NONA. 294 00:13:34,945 --> 00:13:36,585 WHO'S MEL? 295 00:13:36,586 --> 00:13:40,089 MEL... THAT'S... IT'S A... THAT'S A NICKNAME THAT I CALL HER. 296 00:13:40,090 --> 00:13:42,251 YEAH YEAH, IT STANDS FOR... 297 00:13:42,252 --> 00:13:44,423 MY ETERNAL LOVE. 298 00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:46,555 MY HUSBAND USED TO CALL ME STREGA. 299 00:13:46,556 --> 00:13:48,827 AREN'T PET NAMES SWEET? 300 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,030 IT MEANS "WITCH"! 301 00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:52,932 AWWW. 302 00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:55,204 I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR WIFE FOR A MOMENT. 303 00:13:55,205 --> 00:13:56,966 SURE, YEAH. OKAY, HERE. 304 00:13:56,967 --> 00:13:58,407 - ALL RIGHT. - HERE, HONEY. 305 00:13:58,408 --> 00:14:00,370 GOOD. TIFFANY? 306 00:14:01,972 --> 00:14:03,873 ME? OH YEAH, SHOOT. AHEM. 307 00:14:03,874 --> 00:14:05,474 HOW MANY TIMES A WEEK 308 00:14:05,475 --> 00:14:08,948 DO YOU HAVE MARITAL RELATIONS? 309 00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:11,080 WELL, THAT'S PRETTY ♪ PERSONAL ♪ 310 00:14:11,081 --> 00:14:13,622 ♪ THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING! ♪ 311 00:14:13,623 --> 00:14:14,954 UH... 312 00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:16,986 HOW MANY TIMES? 313 00:14:16,987 --> 00:14:19,428 UH, TWICE! TWICE A WEEK. 314 00:14:19,429 --> 00:14:20,430 THAT'S NOT ENOUGH! 315 00:14:22,192 --> 00:14:24,393 A MAN NEEDS COMFORT FROM A WOMAN, 316 00:14:24,394 --> 00:14:29,038 ESPECIALLY IF HE'S A BIG MAN IN THE BUSINESS WORLD LIKE JOSEPH, 317 00:14:29,039 --> 00:14:31,070 UP IN HIS HIGH BUILDING. 318 00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:33,572 YOU CAPTURE HIM SO WELL. 319 00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:36,245 I KNOW HE CAN BE A LITTLE HEADSTRONG. 320 00:14:36,246 --> 00:14:39,578 THAT'S WHAT HE'S BEEN LIKE SINCE HIS FATHER WALKED OUT. 321 00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:44,054 AND JOEY WAS ONLY 10 AND HE HAD TO BE THE MAN OF THE HOUSE. 322 00:14:46,216 --> 00:14:48,217 ALL RIGHT, NOW SWITCH, SWITCH. 323 00:14:48,218 --> 00:14:51,260 I WANT TO TALK TO MY FAVORITE GRANDSON. 324 00:14:51,261 --> 00:14:54,224 SORRY ABOUT THAT. THEY ALL LOVE ME HERE. I CAN DO NO WRONG. 325 00:14:55,325 --> 00:14:57,626 OW, WHOA! 326 00:14:57,627 --> 00:14:59,368 WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU, HUH? 327 00:14:59,369 --> 00:15:01,400 THIS WOMAN IS AN ANGEL. 328 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:05,034 I HAVE ALWAYS TOLD YOU THAT. 329 00:15:05,035 --> 00:15:08,007 - STOP FIGHTING WITH HER. - I'M NOT FIGHTING WITH HER. 330 00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:10,279 DON'T LIE TO A DYING LADY! 331 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:12,541 HEY, NOT THE CANE, OKAY? NOT THE CANE. 332 00:15:12,542 --> 00:15:14,044 ALL RIGHT, NOW HOLD HANDS. 333 00:15:15,245 --> 00:15:16,245 HOLD HANDS. 334 00:15:16,246 --> 00:15:20,249 OOOH, LOOK AT YOU TWO. 335 00:15:20,250 --> 00:15:22,622 YOU'RE MADE FOR EACH OTHER. 336 00:15:25,555 --> 00:15:27,957 LOOK, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO BUY ME FLOWERS. 337 00:15:27,958 --> 00:15:30,259 - HERE. - BUT YOU LOOK GOOD WITH THEM. 338 00:15:30,260 --> 00:15:32,401 THEY BRING OUT YOUR PRETTY EYES. 339 00:15:32,402 --> 00:15:36,005 ALL RIGHT, LOOK, MARCO, WHILE I APPRECIATE THE TOUR OF THE MEAT DISTRICT 340 00:15:36,006 --> 00:15:39,438 - AND SEEING ALL THE PIGS' HEADS DANGLING... - THAT'S SOMETHING, ISN'T IT? 341 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:42,641 ...I JUST... I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS GOING TO STAY PLATONIC. 342 00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:46,575 I DON'T KNOW THAT WORD, BUT I GET IT THROUGH CONTEXT. 343 00:15:46,576 --> 00:15:49,979 LISTEN, WHILE WE'RE HERE I GOTTA GET CIGARETTES FOR MY DAD. 344 00:15:49,980 --> 00:15:52,982 TURNS OUT THEY'RE NOT SO BAD FOR YOU. 345 00:15:52,983 --> 00:15:54,554 I'M NOT SERIOUS. 346 00:15:58,588 --> 00:16:00,991 NICE FLOWERS. WHAT ARE THOSE, TULIPS? 347 00:16:02,032 --> 00:16:03,362 I THINK SO. 348 00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:05,364 I KNOW WHERE SHE OUGHTA PUT HER TWO LIPS. 349 00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:08,397 - RIGHT HERE. - ALL RIGHT, GUYS, GIVE IT A REST. 350 00:16:08,398 --> 00:16:10,339 - IT'S NOT WORKING. - OH, IT COULD WORK. 351 00:16:10,340 --> 00:16:12,371 - AND I COULD SHOW YOU HOW. - JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. 352 00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:14,973 THAT SOUNDED PRETTY CLEAR TO ME, FELLAS. SHE SAID LEAVE HER ALONE. 353 00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:17,746 - WHO CARES WHAT YOU THINK? - WELL, THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION. 354 00:16:17,747 --> 00:16:20,350 - LET MY FRIEND KNUCKLES EXPLAIN IT TO YOU. - ( grunts ) 355 00:16:22,152 --> 00:16:24,314 HEY! YOU FORGOT YOUR GARBAGE HERE! 356 00:16:31,661 --> 00:16:34,023 I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT THAT. 357 00:16:34,024 --> 00:16:36,095 - ARE YOU OKAY? - VERY MUCH SO. 358 00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:38,297 HOW'S YOUR HAND? 359 00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:40,130 LONELY. 360 00:16:46,106 --> 00:16:48,637 AUNT LENA, UNCLE VINCE, WHAT'S UP? PAULIE, HEY! 361 00:16:48,638 --> 00:16:51,480 - SIS, YOU NEED A HAND? - OH, NOW THAT ALL THE HARD WORK IS DONE, 362 00:16:51,481 --> 00:16:53,742 MR. THINKS-HE'S-SO-CHARMING- SHOWS-UP-ASKING-IF-HE-CAN-HELP. 363 00:16:53,743 --> 00:16:56,415 YOU LOOK GREAT, THERESA. YOU LOST WEIGHT, DIDN'T YOU? 364 00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:58,087 I DID. THANKS FOR NOTICING. 365 00:16:58,088 --> 00:17:00,018 YEAH! ( chuckles ) 366 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,591 ( gasps ) 367 00:17:02,792 --> 00:17:04,523 WHAT THE HECK'S GOING ON THERE? 368 00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:07,126 - THEY MAKE A CUTE COUPLE, DON'T THEY? - NO, THEY DON'T. 369 00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:09,698 HEY, MARCO, 370 00:17:09,699 --> 00:17:12,061 YOU KNOW SHE'S ONLY HERE FOR ONE MORE DAY, RIGHT? 371 00:17:12,062 --> 00:17:13,732 - YEAH, I CAN COUNT. - OH, GOOD. 372 00:17:13,733 --> 00:17:16,105 'CAUSE YOU KNOW EVEN THOUGH I'M YOUR UNCLE AND I LOVE YOU, 373 00:17:16,106 --> 00:17:17,466 MY LOVE HAS LIMITS. ( chuckles ) 374 00:17:17,467 --> 00:17:18,737 PHYSICAL LIMITS. 375 00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:21,440 IT'S NONA'S BIG DAY, UNCLE JOE, C'MON, LIGHTEN UP. 376 00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:23,142 HEY, C'MON, HEY HEY. 377 00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:25,214 - OKAY. - ( groans ) 378 00:17:25,215 --> 00:17:27,616 I COULD GET OUT OF THIS IF I WANTED. 379 00:17:27,617 --> 00:17:29,519 ( laughs ) NO, YOU COULDN'T. 380 00:17:30,780 --> 00:17:33,052 WOW, THERE'S JUST SO MUCH TESTOSTERONE HERE. 381 00:17:34,724 --> 00:17:37,055 MA, WE ONLY GOT 94 CANDLES. 382 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,689 THAT'S ALL THE FIRE MARSHAL WOULD ALLOW. 383 00:17:41,591 --> 00:17:43,762 SO, RYDER, 384 00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:46,495 ( chuckles ) ARE YOU HAPPY HERE? 385 00:17:46,496 --> 00:17:48,737 ARE WE TREATING YOU WELL? 386 00:17:48,738 --> 00:17:50,639 ARE YOU KIDDING? YOU'RE TREATING ME LIKE A KING. 387 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:54,343 I'M SO GLAD YOU APPRECIATE ALL WE HAVE DONE FOR YOU. 388 00:17:54,344 --> 00:17:57,706 AND NOW IN RETURN 389 00:17:57,707 --> 00:18:01,110 I MUST ASK THAT YOU DO ME A SERVICE. 390 00:18:01,111 --> 00:18:04,213 A SERVICE? WHAT... WHAT KIND OF SERVICE? 391 00:18:04,214 --> 00:18:06,415 LIKE TAKE OUT THE RECYCLING OR... 392 00:18:06,416 --> 00:18:09,388 A PROBLEM HAS COME INTO OUR NEIGHBORHOOD 393 00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:12,391 AND YOU, RYDER, MUST TAKE CARE OF IT. 394 00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:14,323 ( inhales ) 395 00:18:14,324 --> 00:18:17,267 I NEED YOU TO KILL A RAT. 396 00:18:19,329 --> 00:18:20,799 YOU MEAN MURDER? 397 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:24,633 WHEN A THIEF STEALS IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD, 398 00:18:24,634 --> 00:18:27,406 HE MUST PAY WITH HIS LIFE. 399 00:18:27,407 --> 00:18:29,878 BUT I... I'VE... I'VE NEVER KILLED BEFORE. 400 00:18:29,879 --> 00:18:33,612 THIS IS WHAT'S EXPECTED OF THE MEN IN OUR FAMILY. 401 00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:35,844 MA, I NEED YOU. NONA CAN'T FIND HER TEETH. 402 00:18:35,845 --> 00:18:39,518 DID ANYBODY CHECK BETWEEN THE SOFA CUSHIONS? 403 00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:42,222 I'LL DO IT LIKE I DO EVERYTHING ELSE. 404 00:18:43,853 --> 00:18:45,754 SO MA'S PUTTING YOU TO WORK? 405 00:18:45,755 --> 00:18:47,457 SHE GAVE ME A JOB. 406 00:18:48,658 --> 00:18:50,559 DON'T LET HER DOWN. 407 00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:51,631 AWW. 408 00:18:54,264 --> 00:18:56,635 ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE NEEDS A FULL GLASS! 409 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:59,668 WE ARE GOING TO TOAST THE BIRTHDAY GIRL. 410 00:18:59,669 --> 00:19:02,641 NO! MY FAVORITES WILL DRINK THE GOOD STUFF 411 00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:05,374 FROM THIS SPECIAL BOTTLE. NOW DON'T SPILL ANY. 412 00:19:05,375 --> 00:19:08,747 TRUST ME, I AM VERY SKILLED AT NOT WASTING ALCOHOL. 413 00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:11,380 I THINK THAT'S WHY I FELL IN LOVE WITH HER. 414 00:19:11,381 --> 00:19:13,723 EVERYONE RAISE YOUR GLASSES! 415 00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:17,356 TO GRANDMAMA SOFIA! 416 00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:19,588 MAY SHE LIVE FOR ANOTHER HUNDRED YEARS. 417 00:19:19,589 --> 00:19:20,760 GOD FORBID! 418 00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:24,534 - SALUTE, EVERYBODY. - ( toasting ) 419 00:19:25,695 --> 00:19:27,596 WOW, WHAT IS THIS? 420 00:19:27,597 --> 00:19:29,598 ITALIAN LIGHTER FLUID? 421 00:19:29,599 --> 00:19:32,401 ( coughs ) THAT'S SOME OLD-COUNTRY MOONSHINE RIGHT THERE. 422 00:19:32,402 --> 00:19:36,206 DRINK! EMPTY THE GLASS OTHERWISE YOU DISHONOR ME. 423 00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,879 WOW, THIS RUST-REMOVER KINDA GROWS ON YOU 424 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,911 - ONCE YOUR MOUTH STOPS BURNING. - ( coughs ) 425 00:19:42,912 --> 00:19:46,815 - ARE YOU BEGINNING TO FEEL IT? - GIVE ME THAT! 426 00:19:46,816 --> 00:19:49,618 NONA, YOU DIDN'T! 427 00:19:49,619 --> 00:19:51,560 I DID! 428 00:19:51,561 --> 00:19:53,522 IT'S FINE. THEY'RE A MARRIED COUPLE. 429 00:19:53,523 --> 00:19:55,764 NO, THEY'RE NOT! 430 00:19:55,765 --> 00:19:58,967 ...NOT ACCUSTOMED TO SUCH A STRONG DRINK. 431 00:19:58,968 --> 00:20:01,900 YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT WITHOUT WARNING THEM FIRST. 432 00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:05,834 I'M 99. I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT. 433 00:20:05,835 --> 00:20:09,408 MOM, WHAT'S GOING ON? 434 00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:11,710 INFUSO DI CONIGLIO. 435 00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:15,644 IT'S THE BREW OF THE RABBITS. IT'S A LOVE POTION. 436 00:20:15,645 --> 00:20:19,519 - ( both laugh ) - NONA MADE ANOTHER JOKE, RIGHT? 437 00:20:20,790 --> 00:20:22,792 RIGHT?! 438 00:20:24,394 --> 00:20:25,995 ( both sniff ) 439 00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:32,331 REALLY? WE DRANK A LOVE POTION 440 00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:34,303 WITH MAGIC POWERS? GIMME A BREAK. 441 00:20:34,304 --> 00:20:36,965 COME ON, MOM. THAT'S JUST SOME CRAZY OLD-WORLD VOODOO, RIGHT? 442 00:20:36,966 --> 00:20:41,310 THE RABBIT'S BREW HAS PRODUCED 17 MARRIAGES AND 80 CHILDREN. 443 00:20:41,311 --> 00:20:44,574 AND THOSE ARE JUST THE ONES WE KNOW ARE DEFINITELY OURS. 444 00:20:45,615 --> 00:20:47,476 IT CHANNELS THE LIFE FORCE, 445 00:20:47,477 --> 00:20:49,278 THE ANIMAL SPIRIT. 446 00:20:49,279 --> 00:20:51,951 IT'S... IRRESISTIBLE. 447 00:20:52,982 --> 00:20:54,953 COME ON, MOM. 448 00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:56,786 ( Italian folk music playing ) 449 00:20:59,829 --> 00:21:01,260 HOLY CRAP. 450 00:21:08,338 --> 00:21:10,340 ( chimes )