1 00:00:07,638 --> 00:00:10,380 "MELISSA & JOEY" IS RECORDED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE. 2 00:00:10,381 --> 00:00:12,782 SIS, TELL YOUR DRIVER NOT TO GO DOWN THIRD STREET 3 00:00:12,783 --> 00:00:15,045 BECAUSE THE SNOW PLOWS NEVER GO THAT WAY. 4 00:00:15,046 --> 00:00:16,446 YES, I AM A CITY COUNCILPERSON, 5 00:00:16,447 --> 00:00:18,448 BUT I HAVE NO PULL WITH BIG PLOW. 6 00:00:18,449 --> 00:00:19,789 OKAY. I'LL SEE YOU IN A MINUTE. 7 00:00:19,790 --> 00:00:21,721 IT'S PRETTY SLICK GETTING JOE OFF TO THE AIRPORT 8 00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:23,423 AN HOUR BEFORE OUR MOM SHOWS UP. 9 00:00:23,424 --> 00:00:25,655 BY NOW, JOE IS ON A PLANE ON HIS WAY TO JERSEY 10 00:00:25,656 --> 00:00:28,358 WITH NO IDEA THAT THE WOMAN WHO HELPED DESTROY HIS CAREER 11 00:00:28,359 --> 00:00:29,699 IS ON HER WAY HERE. 12 00:00:29,700 --> 00:00:31,501 I HATE LYING TO A FRIEND. 13 00:00:31,502 --> 00:00:33,763 BUT I AM SO GOOD AT IT. 14 00:00:33,764 --> 00:00:36,236 AH AH AH! NO HANGING ORNAMENTS 15 00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:38,037 UNTIL MEREDITH GETS HERE. 16 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,339 CHECK THE LIST. 17 00:00:39,340 --> 00:00:40,810 WE HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING ON YOUR CHRISTMAS LIST 18 00:00:40,811 --> 00:00:42,272 IN EXACT ORDER? 19 00:00:42,273 --> 00:00:45,175 YES, BECAUSE IT WILL MAKE ALL THE CHRISTMAS FUN GO SMOOTHER. 20 00:00:45,176 --> 00:00:47,777 YOU KNOW, YOUR MOM ONLY GETS TWO DAYS AWAY FROM PRISON. 21 00:00:47,778 --> 00:00:48,749 I WANT HER TO RELAX. 22 00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:52,452 YEAH, 'CAUSE NOTHING WILL TAKE HER MIND OFF PRISON 23 00:00:52,453 --> 00:00:55,425 LIKE STRICTLY SCHEDULED MEALS AND RECREATION TIMES. 24 00:00:55,426 --> 00:00:58,188 WAIT, YOU PUT "MEREDITH" ON HER STOCKING? 25 00:00:58,189 --> 00:00:59,289 DID I SPELL IT RIGHT? 26 00:00:59,290 --> 00:01:01,191 IT SHOULD BE SPELLED "MOM." 27 00:01:01,192 --> 00:01:03,663 AS IN MOM. 28 00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:04,664 HEY, HER CAB'S HERE. 29 00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:06,296 BACK UP BACK UP BACK UP BACK UP. 30 00:01:06,297 --> 00:01:08,268 OKAY. WE CAN ALL YELL OUT WHEN SHE COMES IN. 31 00:01:08,269 --> 00:01:09,799 All: MERRY CHRI... 32 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:12,672 JOE, WHAT THE HELL?! 33 00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:15,576 YEAH, "MERRY CHRI..." BACK AT YOU. 34 00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:18,808 AIRPORT'S SNOWED IN. ALL THE FLIGHTS ARE GROUNDED. 35 00:01:18,809 --> 00:01:20,650 WELL, THAT JUST SPOILS EVERYTHING. 36 00:01:20,651 --> 00:01:22,112 FOR YOU, NOT FOR US. 37 00:01:22,113 --> 00:01:23,313 WE'RE HAPPY TO HAVE YOU HERE. 38 00:01:23,314 --> 00:01:24,714 UNLESS YOU DON'T WANT TO BE HERE. 39 00:01:24,715 --> 00:01:26,316 JUST KIDDING. MERRY CHRISTMAS. 40 00:01:26,317 --> 00:01:27,658 BUT REALLY, YOU CAN GO. 41 00:01:29,320 --> 00:01:30,760 ( theme music playing ) 42 00:01:30,761 --> 00:01:32,462 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD ♪ - ♪ All good ♪ 43 00:01:32,463 --> 00:01:34,294 - ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪ - ♪ Okay ♪ 44 00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:35,665 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT ♪ - ♪ All right ♪ 45 00:01:35,666 --> 00:01:37,797 ♪ AS FAR AS I CAN SEE ♪ 46 00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:39,329 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD ♪ - ♪ All good ♪ 47 00:01:39,330 --> 00:01:40,870 - ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪ - ♪ Okay ♪ 48 00:01:40,871 --> 00:01:42,802 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT ♪ - ♪ All right ♪ 49 00:01:42,803 --> 00:01:45,805 ♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK ♪ 50 00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:48,679 ♪ WITH ME ♪ 51 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:51,711 YO, DON'T TAKE YOUR COAT OFF. 52 00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:54,184 - WHY NOT? - BECAUSE AS MUCH AS WE'D LOVE TO HAVE YOU HERE, 53 00:01:54,185 --> 00:01:57,547 I JUST HAVE A FEELING THOSE AIRPORTS ARE GONNA OPEN ANY MINUTE NOW. 54 00:01:57,548 --> 00:01:59,389 BURKE, THE ONLY THING FLYING OUT OF HERE TONIGHT'S 55 00:01:59,390 --> 00:02:01,651 - GONNA BE REINDEER. TRUST ME. - ( brakes squeak ) 56 00:02:01,652 --> 00:02:03,793 HEY, A CAB JUST PULLED UP. ARE YOU GUYS EXPECTING SOMEONE? 57 00:02:03,794 --> 00:02:05,725 - SANTA. - PIZZA. 58 00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:07,727 SANTA WITH PIZZA. SANTA PIZZA. 59 00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:10,129 THEY MAKE THE CRUST OUT OF FRUITCAKE. IT'S TERRIBLE. 60 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,732 WHY DON'T YOU JUST WAIT UPSTAIRS IN YOUR ROOM FOR TWO DAYS. 61 00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:13,803 COME ON, COME ON, COME ON, COME ON. 62 00:02:13,804 --> 00:02:15,435 WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE? 63 00:02:15,436 --> 00:02:17,537 AUNT MEL, JUST GIVE IT UP. 64 00:02:17,538 --> 00:02:18,808 ALL RIGHT? IT'S OVER. 65 00:02:18,809 --> 00:02:21,271 UH, JOE? HERE. 66 00:02:21,272 --> 00:02:22,672 YOU GUYS MADE ME A STOCKING? 67 00:02:22,673 --> 00:02:24,674 AWW. 68 00:02:24,675 --> 00:02:26,677 THAT SAYS "MEREDITH"? 69 00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:29,719 WAIT A MINUTE, THE MEREDITH? 70 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:31,521 JAILBIRD MEREDITH? 71 00:02:31,522 --> 00:02:34,284 HALF THE TEAM THAT RUINED MY LIFE MEREDITH? 72 00:02:34,285 --> 00:02:37,187 I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH GLITTER FOR ALL THAT. 73 00:02:37,188 --> 00:02:38,628 HOW DID SHE GET OUT OF PRISON? 74 00:02:38,629 --> 00:02:40,330 IT'S JUST A TWO DAY CHRISTMAS FURLOUGH. 75 00:02:40,331 --> 00:02:41,561 I MENTIONED THAT, DIDN'T I? 76 00:02:41,562 --> 00:02:43,663 NO, I WOULD HAVE REMEMBERED THAT. KIND OF THE WAY 77 00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:46,336 YOU REMEMBER A REPEATED STABBING IN YOUR BACK. 78 00:02:46,337 --> 00:02:47,797 HOW COULD YOU KEEP THIS FROM ME? 79 00:02:47,798 --> 00:02:51,471 OH, IT WASN'T EASY, BUT I THINK I DID A PRETTY GOOD JOB. 80 00:02:51,472 --> 00:02:52,942 I WAS JUST TRYING TO PROTECT YOUR FEELINGS. 81 00:02:52,943 --> 00:02:54,904 UH, SHE'S PAYING THE DRIVER. 82 00:02:54,905 --> 00:02:57,307 IS SHE? PROBABLY WITH SOME OF MY MONEY. 83 00:02:57,308 --> 00:02:58,678 OKAY, LOOK. YOU'VE GOT TO CONTROL YOURSELF. 84 00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:00,350 THIS VISIT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO MY SISTER. 85 00:03:00,351 --> 00:03:02,212 I KNOW. AND SHE HAS SUCH A DIFFICULT LIFE, YOU KNOW? 86 00:03:02,213 --> 00:03:04,414 GETTING THOSE WONDERFUL VISITS FROM HER CHILDREN ONCE A MONTH 87 00:03:04,415 --> 00:03:05,685 AT THE COUNTRY CLUB WHERE THEY 88 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,687 FORCE HER TO DO PILATES AND WATCH PREMIUM CABLE. 89 00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,589 YOU KNOW, THERE IS A WAITING LIST TO GET INTO THAT PRISON. 90 00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:10,890 GOOD, JOE. GOOD. 91 00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:12,762 JUST GET IT ALL OUT NOW BEFORE SHE KNOCKS ON THE DOOR. 92 00:03:12,763 --> 00:03:15,325 - ( knocking on door ) - OKAY, YOU'RE DONE. 93 00:03:15,326 --> 00:03:16,797 GET IN THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT OR I'LL CUT YOU. 94 00:03:19,470 --> 00:03:20,670 HELLO, KIDS! 95 00:03:20,671 --> 00:03:22,332 - HEY, MOM! - MOM! 96 00:03:22,333 --> 00:03:24,203 COME HERE. OHH! 97 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:25,635 GET IN HERE SMELLY MELLY. 98 00:03:25,636 --> 00:03:27,477 OKAY. AND DON'T CALL ME THAT. 99 00:03:27,478 --> 00:03:28,608 ( chuckles ) 100 00:03:28,609 --> 00:03:30,641 OH, THIS IS GONNA BE THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER. 101 00:03:31,982 --> 00:03:34,344 WHAT THE HELL IS LONGO DOING HERE? 102 00:03:34,345 --> 00:03:35,885 SURPRISE. 103 00:03:35,886 --> 00:03:37,747 YOU SAID HE WAS GONNA BE IN NEW JERSEY 104 00:03:37,748 --> 00:03:39,719 WITH THE REST OF THE HOUSEWIVES. 105 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,691 NOW THAT YOU'RE OUT OF THE JOINT, 106 00:03:41,692 --> 00:03:43,293 DOES THAT MEAN A SAD BANK ROBBER 107 00:03:43,294 --> 00:03:44,994 WON'T BE GETTING HIS SECRET SANTA THIS YEAR? 108 00:03:44,995 --> 00:03:46,756 OKAY, YOU TWO. 109 00:03:46,757 --> 00:03:47,957 HEY, WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS... 110 00:03:47,958 --> 00:03:49,559 YEAH, WELL SPEAKING AS THE LEMON, 111 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:50,830 WHO'S BEEN SQUEEZED DRY, 112 00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:52,702 I'LL BE UPSTAIRS IN MY ROOM. 113 00:03:52,703 --> 00:03:53,834 MERRY CHRISTMAS. 114 00:03:55,005 --> 00:03:56,367 OH, THAT'S A NICE ANKLET BY THE WAY. 115 00:03:58,469 --> 00:04:00,271 WHAT IS THAT, A 24-KARAT G.P.S.? 116 00:04:02,012 --> 00:04:03,814 ( knocks on door ) 117 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:08,548 LOOK, JOE, I KNOW IT'S TOUGH SEEING MEREDITH. 118 00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:10,280 IT BRINGS UP A LOT OF BAD MEMORIES... 119 00:04:10,281 --> 00:04:13,283 ( grunting ) 120 00:04:13,284 --> 00:04:15,385 THAT'S GOOD, JOE. GRUNT IT ALL OUT. 121 00:04:15,386 --> 00:04:17,557 BUT JUST SO YOU'RE AWARE, IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE, 122 00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:20,290 AND KNOWING THAT THE GRINCH IS UP HERE DOING HIS ANGRY CURLS 123 00:04:20,291 --> 00:04:21,891 IS KIND OF KILLING THE MOOD DOWN IN WHOVILLE. 124 00:04:21,892 --> 00:04:23,694 HA HA. THAT'S SO FUNNY, I'M STILL POOR. 125 00:04:25,296 --> 00:04:27,567 LOOK, YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE WITH MEREDITH ISSUES. 126 00:04:27,568 --> 00:04:28,838 ALL OF OUR LIVES SHE ALWAYS GOT WHAT SHE WANTED, 127 00:04:28,839 --> 00:04:30,500 AND SHE ALWAYS GOT IT FIRST. 128 00:04:30,501 --> 00:04:31,971 THE BOOBS, THE RACHEL HAIRCUT, 129 00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:33,272 AND THEN THE HUSBAND. 130 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,744 SHE ALWAYS RUBBED MY NOSE IN IT. 131 00:04:34,745 --> 00:04:36,906 WELL, NOT THE BOOBS, BUT EVERYTHING ELSE. 132 00:04:36,907 --> 00:04:39,008 YEAH, BUT YOUR SISTER IS NOT ONE-UPPING YOU ANYMORE, ALL RIGHT? 133 00:04:39,009 --> 00:04:40,610 MY LIFE IS RUINED RIGHT NOW. 134 00:04:40,611 --> 00:04:41,751 SO IS HERS. 135 00:04:41,752 --> 00:04:42,752 SHE'S DIVORCED, 136 00:04:42,753 --> 00:04:44,013 SHE HARDLY GETS TO SEE HER KIDS 137 00:04:44,014 --> 00:04:45,815 AND SHE ALMOST NEVER GETS TO GO SHOPPING. 138 00:04:45,816 --> 00:04:46,956 I MEAN, DOESN'T ANY OF HER PAIN 139 00:04:46,957 --> 00:04:49,059 MAKE YOU FEEL A LITTLE MORE CHRISTMASY? 140 00:04:50,561 --> 00:04:52,021 A LITTLE. 141 00:04:52,022 --> 00:04:53,863 IT WOULD HELP ME IF SHE WAS MISSING A COUPLE OF TEETH. 142 00:04:53,864 --> 00:04:56,796 ( scoffs ) OKAY, SO YOU'LL COME DOWNSTAIRS AND JOIN US 143 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,668 AND PUT YOUR RESENTMENT AWAY FOR TWO DAYS? 144 00:04:58,669 --> 00:05:00,800 OH NO, I COULDN'T COME DOWNSTAIRS NOW EVEN IF I WANTED TO. 145 00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:03,603 - WHAT? - I GOTTA DO MY LEFT SIDE. 146 00:05:03,604 --> 00:05:04,875 I DON'T WANT TO GET ALL UNEVEN. 147 00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:09,779 HEY, REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE LITTLE, MELLY, 148 00:05:09,780 --> 00:05:11,741 YOU USED TO LOVE TO WATCH ME MAKE THESE? 149 00:05:11,742 --> 00:05:12,882 I DO. 150 00:05:12,883 --> 00:05:15,385 YOU KNOW, I ACTUALLY MADE THIS GINGERBREAD MYSELF. 151 00:05:15,386 --> 00:05:17,647 'CAUSE I CAN USE THE OVEN NOW. 152 00:05:17,648 --> 00:05:18,948 IT'S NOT BAD FOR A FIRST TRY. 153 00:05:18,949 --> 00:05:20,690 IT JUST TAKES PRACTICE... 154 00:05:20,691 --> 00:05:22,552 OR SKILL. 155 00:05:22,553 --> 00:05:25,625 RIGHT. BUT IT'S NOT A COMPETITION. 156 00:05:25,626 --> 00:05:26,626 UM, YOU KNOW WHAT? WHY DON'T I JUST GET 157 00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:27,697 YOU GUYS SOME MORE GINGERBREAD 158 00:05:27,698 --> 00:05:29,929 WITH THIS RANDOM OVEN MITT. 159 00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:32,562 OH, WHAT DOES THAT SAY? COUNCILWOMAN MEL BURKE. 160 00:05:32,563 --> 00:05:33,803 ( silly voice ) THAT'S ME. 161 00:05:33,804 --> 00:05:36,335 OKAY, WHO NEEDS ANOTHER GINGERBREAD WALL? 162 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,407 WE'RE GOOD. 163 00:05:37,408 --> 00:05:38,708 OKAY. 164 00:05:38,709 --> 00:05:42,572 LET'S SEE, MAYBE I CAN PIPE THE DOORS? 165 00:05:42,573 --> 00:05:43,573 ALREADY ICED. 166 00:05:43,574 --> 00:05:44,644 OKAY. 167 00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:45,815 IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO AT ALL? 168 00:05:45,816 --> 00:05:47,577 OH YES. 169 00:05:47,578 --> 00:05:48,878 WE NEED YOU OVER HERE FOR A FAMILY PHOTO... 170 00:05:48,879 --> 00:05:49,879 OH GREAT. 171 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:51,851 ...OF ME AND MY BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN. 172 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,853 OH. SURE. 173 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,725 A PICTURE WITH ME NOT IN IT. 174 00:05:55,726 --> 00:05:57,987 - SAY "JOLLY." - ( camera clicks ) 175 00:05:57,988 --> 00:05:59,689 ALL RIGHT. HERE I AM... 176 00:05:59,690 --> 00:06:01,691 DOWNSTAIRS AS REQUESTED. 177 00:06:01,692 --> 00:06:03,362 WE'RE MAKING GINGERBREAD HOUSES. 178 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:04,394 YEAH, MY MOM'S THE MASTER. 179 00:06:04,395 --> 00:06:06,035 OH, IT'S SO TRUE. 180 00:06:06,036 --> 00:06:08,367 YEAH. SHE'LL SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE, JOE. 181 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,769 I MEAN CHECK OUT THIS ONE SHE MADE. 182 00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:11,401 YEAH. ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL, LONGO? 183 00:06:11,402 --> 00:06:13,443 YEAH, IT IS. MAYBE THERE'S A ROOM ABOVE THE GARAGE 184 00:06:13,444 --> 00:06:15,044 THAT I COULD AFFORD. ( chuckles ) 185 00:06:15,045 --> 00:06:17,908 'CAUSE I HAVE A LOT OF GINGER, BUT NO BREAD. 186 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,050 REMEMBER, WE'RE DROPPING THESE HOUSES OFF 187 00:06:21,051 --> 00:06:22,412 AT THE CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL LATER, 188 00:06:22,413 --> 00:06:23,753 SO LET'S TRY TO FILL THEM WITH LOVE 189 00:06:23,754 --> 00:06:26,015 AND NOT BITTERNESS, BECAUSE BITTERNESS ISN'T YUMMY. 190 00:06:26,016 --> 00:06:28,589 AND MY KID SISTER IS AN EXPERT ON BITTERNESS. 191 00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:30,720 WHAT? 192 00:06:30,721 --> 00:06:32,062 I SAID YOU WERE AN EXPERT. 193 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,724 WHILE I LET YOU TWO HASH THAT OUT, 194 00:06:34,725 --> 00:06:35,725 I THINK I'LL BUILD A HOUSE OVER HERE IN THIS 195 00:06:35,726 --> 00:06:36,866 SKETCHY NEIGHBORHOOD. 196 00:06:36,867 --> 00:06:38,027 WHERE ALL THE GINGERBREAD MEN HAD TO GO 197 00:06:38,028 --> 00:06:39,769 WHO HAD TO START OVER. 198 00:06:39,770 --> 00:06:41,701 WAIT, JOE, THAT'S NOT HOW IT'S DONE. 199 00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:42,772 YOU CAN'T USE THOSE WALLS. 200 00:06:42,773 --> 00:06:44,574 OH, I THINK I CAN. ( chuckles ) 201 00:06:44,575 --> 00:06:46,035 FINE. BUT THEY'RE WAY TOO HOT. 202 00:06:46,036 --> 00:06:47,707 THEY'RE JUST GONNA MELT THE ICING. 203 00:06:47,708 --> 00:06:49,439 IF I WERE YOU, I'D JUST BE PATIENT 204 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:50,710 AND WAIT TILL THEY COOL DOWN. 205 00:06:50,711 --> 00:06:53,713 I DON'T KNOW IF THESE WALLS ARE EVER GONNA COOL DOWN. 206 00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:55,414 OH, THEY WILL IF THEY WANT TO. 207 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,847 THIS WALL HAS HAD A LOT TAKEN AWAY FROM IT... 208 00:06:57,848 --> 00:07:00,049 ITS MONEY, ITS HOUSE, 209 00:07:00,050 --> 00:07:02,051 ITS PORSCHE. 210 00:07:02,052 --> 00:07:04,724 AS A MATTER OF FACT, THE ONLY THING THIS WALL HAS LEFT IS... 211 00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:07,126 ITS AMAZING GOOD LOOKS. 212 00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:09,899 MAN, EVEN I GET THIS. 213 00:07:09,900 --> 00:07:11,531 OKAY, HERE'S A THOUGHT. 214 00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:13,863 HOW ABOUT WE SKIP TO THE NEXT FUN ACTIVITY ON THE LIST. 215 00:07:13,864 --> 00:07:15,204 LET'S SEE... OOH. 216 00:07:15,205 --> 00:07:17,737 "DECORATING THE TREE." 217 00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:19,438 ( silly voice ) GREAT IDEA. 218 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,711 HOW DOES SHE DO IT? 219 00:07:25,616 --> 00:07:26,716 YOU KNOW, JOE, CAN WE JUST... 220 00:07:26,717 --> 00:07:27,718 CAN WE CLEAR THE AIR? 221 00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:30,880 YOU SOMEHOW THINK THAT I AM RESPONSIBLE 222 00:07:30,881 --> 00:07:31,981 FOR RUINING YOUR LIFE. 223 00:07:31,982 --> 00:07:33,723 YOU KNOW, THIS GINGERBREAD WAS ABOUT TO COOL DOWN, 224 00:07:33,724 --> 00:07:35,525 AND YOU HAD TO GO CRANKING UP THE OVEN AGAIN. 225 00:07:35,526 --> 00:07:37,056 YOU KNOW, WHAT HAPPENED AT THE COMPANY? 226 00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:38,728 NOBODY WAS TOTALLY INNOCENT. 227 00:07:38,729 --> 00:07:41,060 THERE WERE THOSE THAT WERE ACTIVELY INVOLVED 228 00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:42,161 AND THOSE THAT LOOKED THE OTHER WAY. 229 00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:44,794 ARE YOU SAYING THAT I'M TO BLAME? 230 00:07:44,795 --> 00:07:47,196 I'M SAYING THAT WE ALL PLAYED A PART. 231 00:07:47,197 --> 00:07:49,068 REALLY? 'CAUSE I DON'T REMEMBER AUDITIONING 232 00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:50,870 FOR THE PART OF THE WORLD'S BIGGEST SUCKER. 233 00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:52,102 WELL, YOU NAILED IT. 234 00:07:53,644 --> 00:07:55,074 LOOK, WORD OF ADVICE? 235 00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:57,747 ALL THIS ANGER THAT YOU'RE FILLED WITH, 236 00:07:57,748 --> 00:07:58,979 LET IT GO. 237 00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:01,981 MAYBE YOU COULD JUST STEAL IT FROM ME. 238 00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:02,982 ( chuckles ) 239 00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:04,854 I'M KIDDING. I'M KIDDING. 240 00:08:04,855 --> 00:08:06,716 I'M FINE. YOU KNOW WHAT? 241 00:08:06,717 --> 00:08:08,988 I AM FILLED WITH NOTHING BUT CHRISTMAS SPIRIT, 242 00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,860 HO. 243 00:08:10,861 --> 00:08:11,892 HO HO. 244 00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:16,226 REALLY. I'M FINE. 245 00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:18,598 TOTALLY FINE. 246 00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:21,030 ( chuckles ) 247 00:08:21,031 --> 00:08:23,002 YOU KNOW, SHE ACTUALLY DOES DO A REALLY NICE JOB 248 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,874 ON THESE THINGS. WOW. 249 00:08:24,875 --> 00:08:26,006 ( chuckles ) 250 00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:30,810 ( grunts ) 251 00:08:30,811 --> 00:08:32,142 IF ONLY SHE WAS INSIDE. 252 00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:40,089 AREN'T RYDER AND LENNOX AMAZING? 253 00:08:40,090 --> 00:08:41,751 I MEAN, THEY ARE TURNING OUT SO GREAT. 254 00:08:41,752 --> 00:08:42,892 YEAH. 255 00:08:42,893 --> 00:08:44,123 THEY REALLY ARE. 256 00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:45,756 AND I THINK I KNOW WHY. 257 00:08:46,757 --> 00:08:48,027 YOU CAN SAY IT. 258 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,128 YOU KNOW, IT DOESN'T JUST HAPPEN OVERNIGHT. 259 00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:51,961 NO, IT DOESN'T. 260 00:08:51,962 --> 00:08:54,034 IT'S THE PHONE CALLS WITH ME EVERY MONTH. 261 00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:57,567 I CAN GIVE SO MUCH QUALITY MOTHERING 262 00:08:57,568 --> 00:08:59,269 IN THOSE 10 SUPERVISED MINUTES. 263 00:09:00,841 --> 00:09:01,911 THAT MUST BE IT. 264 00:09:01,912 --> 00:09:03,643 YEAH, THEY ARE LUCKY TO HAVE 265 00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:04,844 SUCH AN INVOLVED PARENT. 266 00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:06,676 YEAH, I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THOSE KIDS. 267 00:09:06,677 --> 00:09:08,547 MOM, CAN YOU HOLD THE OTHER END OF THIS? 268 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:09,579 - ( phone buzzing ) - OH, NO. SORRY. 269 00:09:09,580 --> 00:09:11,221 GOT A PHONE CALL. 270 00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:15,785 WE KNOW THIS IS A LITTLE AWKWARD FOR YOU, 271 00:09:15,786 --> 00:09:17,727 BUT WE'RE GLAD YOU DECIDED TO JOIN US. 272 00:09:17,728 --> 00:09:18,988 LOOK, I'M HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS. 273 00:09:18,989 --> 00:09:20,590 I GUESS IT IS KIND OF COOL 274 00:09:20,591 --> 00:09:22,762 THAT YOUR MOM DECIDED TO COME SURPRISE YOU FOR CHRISTMAS. 275 00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:23,833 YEAH. 276 00:09:23,834 --> 00:09:27,066 IT WAS SO TOTALLY OUT OF THE BLUE. 277 00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,968 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WE KNEW FOR WEEKS. 278 00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:30,640 AAH! 279 00:09:30,641 --> 00:09:32,142 THAT CHRISTMAS WAS COMING. 280 00:09:34,104 --> 00:09:35,645 WAIT A MINUTE. 281 00:09:35,646 --> 00:09:37,306 YOU ALL LIED TO ME? I DON'T BELIEVE THIS. 282 00:09:37,307 --> 00:09:39,649 TO SPARE YOUR FEELINGS, JOE. 283 00:09:39,650 --> 00:09:41,781 CHRISTMAS IS THAT SPECIAL TIME OF YEAR 284 00:09:41,782 --> 00:09:44,654 FOR LYING TO THOSE YOU LOVE, 285 00:09:44,655 --> 00:09:46,215 JUST LIKE THE SONG SAYS. 286 00:09:46,216 --> 00:09:47,987 WHAT SONG? 287 00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:49,659 YOU KNOW... 288 00:09:49,660 --> 00:09:51,260 ♪ SNOWMAN IN THE YARD ♪ 289 00:09:51,261 --> 00:09:53,122 ♪ SANTA FLIES ABOVE ♪ 290 00:09:53,123 --> 00:09:55,194 ♪ 'TIS THE SEASON TO FORGIVE ♪ 291 00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:56,666 ♪ AND LIE TO THOSE YOU LOVE ♪ 292 00:09:56,667 --> 00:09:57,767 ♪ OHH.. ♪ 293 00:09:57,768 --> 00:09:58,928 THAT'S NOT A SONG. 294 00:09:58,929 --> 00:10:00,269 ♪ RISE ABOVE, RISE ABOVE.. ♪ 295 00:10:00,270 --> 00:10:01,270 EVERYBODY. 296 00:10:01,271 --> 00:10:03,232 ♪ LIE TO THOSE YOU LOVE ♪ 297 00:10:03,233 --> 00:10:05,835 SEE, THEY KNOW IT. 298 00:10:05,836 --> 00:10:07,276 HEY, THE BACK OF THE TREE IS LOOKING A LITTLE BALD. 299 00:10:07,277 --> 00:10:09,008 ARE THERE ANYMORE ORNAMENTS? 300 00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:11,010 YEAH. GUYS, CAN YOU GET THE OTHER ORNAMENTS OUT OF THE GARAGE? 301 00:10:11,011 --> 00:10:13,112 AND MEREDITH, THERE ARE SOME CANDY CANES IN THE BOXES BACK THERE. 302 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,114 GREAT. 303 00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,316 SO WHAT? 304 00:10:17,317 --> 00:10:19,719 YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN ALL LAUGHING BEHIND MY BACK FOR LIKE A WEEK NOW, HUH? 305 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,390 CAN YOU JUST DIAL IT BACK AND RISE ABOVE? 306 00:10:21,391 --> 00:10:22,852 IF I CAN DO IT, YOU CAN DO IT. 307 00:10:22,853 --> 00:10:24,023 WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO RISE ABOVE? 308 00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:26,325 HEY, I GET NOT A WORD OF THANKS FROM HER, 309 00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:27,857 AND I HAVE BEEN RAISING HER KIDS FOR THREE YEARS 310 00:10:27,858 --> 00:10:29,199 WITH NO HELP FROM ANYBODY. 311 00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:33,132 ( stammers ) 312 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,764 ANYBODY? 313 00:10:34,765 --> 00:10:35,805 YOU... 314 00:10:35,806 --> 00:10:37,066 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 315 00:10:37,067 --> 00:10:38,868 JUST BE SERENE, LIKE ME. 316 00:10:38,869 --> 00:10:40,640 LOOK, OHMMM. 317 00:10:41,742 --> 00:10:42,772 ( doorbell rings ) 318 00:10:42,773 --> 00:10:44,674 WAIT, I'LL GET IT. 319 00:10:44,675 --> 00:10:46,375 IT'S MY LITTLE SURPRISE FOR THE FAMILY. 320 00:10:46,376 --> 00:10:48,247 SEE? MEREDITH'S TRYING. 321 00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:49,318 SHE GOT US ALL A GIFT. 322 00:10:49,319 --> 00:10:51,220 MAYBE IT'S A BOX OF STEAKS. 323 00:10:51,221 --> 00:10:52,782 MEL, JOE, 324 00:10:52,783 --> 00:10:54,223 THIS IS ELIOT McDUNNOUGH. 325 00:10:54,224 --> 00:10:55,224 MERRY CHRISTMAS. 326 00:10:55,225 --> 00:10:56,926 YOU LOOK VERY FAMILIAR. 327 00:10:56,927 --> 00:10:59,288 OH, I WAS THE JUDGE AT MEREDITH'S SECURITIES FRAUD TRIAL. 328 00:10:59,289 --> 00:11:00,289 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 329 00:11:00,290 --> 00:11:03,162 ELIOT IS MY BOYFRIEND. 330 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,134 WHAT?! 331 00:11:05,135 --> 00:11:07,136 SHE SAID THAT ELIOT IS HER BOYFRIEND. 332 00:11:07,137 --> 00:11:08,138 I HEARD. 333 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,901 DATING YOUR JUDGE. THAT IS SO... 334 00:11:11,902 --> 00:11:15,074 SOMETHING SISTERS USUALLY SHARE. 335 00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:16,675 WELL, YEAH. 336 00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:19,278 WE STARTED DATING RIGHT AFTER LEWIS AND I GOT DIVORCED. 337 00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:21,280 BEFORE THAT, IT WAS TOTALLY PLATONIC 338 00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:23,312 WITH A LITTLE BIT OF SKYPE SEX. 339 00:11:23,313 --> 00:11:24,754 GOOD TO KNOW. 340 00:11:24,755 --> 00:11:27,957 SO BANGING MORE THAN GAVELS, ARE WE? 341 00:11:27,958 --> 00:11:29,789 WELL, THE JURY MAY HAVE CONVICTED HER, 342 00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:31,791 BUT AS THE PRESIDING JUDGE, 343 00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:34,124 I BELIEVE THE ONLY THING MEREDITH STOLE WAS MY HEART. 344 00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:39,128 HOW'S THAT SERENITY COMING? 345 00:11:39,129 --> 00:11:41,230 IT JUST CAME BACK UP. 346 00:11:41,231 --> 00:11:43,773 - FOUND 'EM. - OH, LOOK WHO'S HERE. 347 00:11:43,774 --> 00:11:46,806 MEREDITH, AREN'T YOU GONNA INTRODUCE YOUR BOYFRIEND TO YOUR KIDS? 348 00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:48,277 - HEY, ELIOT. - MERRY CHRISTMAS. 349 00:11:48,278 --> 00:11:49,278 MERRY CHRISTMAS. 350 00:11:49,279 --> 00:11:50,280 Both: SUP, DOG? 351 00:11:52,282 --> 00:11:53,913 THEY APPEAR TO BE ACQUAINTED. 352 00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:56,786 SO YOU GUYS KNEW ABOUT YOUR MOM'S BOYFRIEND 353 00:11:56,787 --> 00:11:58,217 AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME? 354 00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,319 WELL, SHE SAID SHE WANTED TO TELL YOU HERSELF. 355 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,121 SHE SAID YOU LIKE SURPRISES. 356 00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:04,824 OH. WELL, I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING THAT ISN'T A SURPRISE... 357 00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:06,255 THE FACT THAT AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, 358 00:12:06,256 --> 00:12:08,998 - MY SISTER'S STILL... - ♪ SNOWMAN IN THE YARD ♪ 359 00:12:08,999 --> 00:12:11,000 - ♪ SANTA FLIES ABOVE.. ♪ - SHUT UP! 360 00:12:11,001 --> 00:12:12,061 IT'S NOT A REAL SONG. 361 00:12:12,062 --> 00:12:15,065 UH, EXCUSE ME. I AM LATE FOR MY EGGNOG COMA. 362 00:12:19,009 --> 00:12:20,069 ARE YOU OKAY? 363 00:12:20,070 --> 00:12:21,140 OH, NEVER BETTER. 364 00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:22,471 YOU KNOW, MY SISTER'S IN PRISON AND YET 365 00:12:22,472 --> 00:12:25,244 SHE STILL FOUND A HANDSOME GUY WITH A GREAT JOB 366 00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:26,976 AND I'M NOT EVEN CLOSE TO HAVING A BOY... 367 00:12:26,977 --> 00:12:29,979 HEY. I HOPE IT'S OKAY THAT ELIOT DROPPED BY. 368 00:12:29,980 --> 00:12:31,350 HE JUST WANTED TO MEET YOU. 369 00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:33,082 AND I REALLY WANTED YOU TO MEET HIM TOO. 370 00:12:33,083 --> 00:12:35,384 OH, IT'S GREAT. IT'S ALL GREAT. ( chuckles ) 371 00:12:35,385 --> 00:12:38,227 OKAY, WELL... BECAUSE IF THERE'S SOMEONE IN YOUR LIFE 372 00:12:38,228 --> 00:12:39,889 I'D LIKE TO MEET HIM TOO. 373 00:12:39,890 --> 00:12:41,530 IS THERE A MAN IN YOUR LIFE? 374 00:12:41,531 --> 00:12:43,232 NO. NO. 375 00:12:43,233 --> 00:12:45,034 YOU KNOW I HAVEN'T BEEN MEETING THE RIGHT KIND OF GUYS. 376 00:12:45,035 --> 00:12:47,196 I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE IF I GOT INDICTED. 377 00:12:47,197 --> 00:12:49,038 ( both laugh ) 378 00:12:49,039 --> 00:12:50,199 OHH. 379 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:52,271 I'M SO GLAD YOU CAN STILL JOKE YOUR WAY 380 00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:53,502 OUT OF YOUR REAL FEELINGS, MEL. 381 00:12:53,503 --> 00:12:56,146 ( chuckles ) 382 00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:59,508 DO YOU SEE WHAT SHE DOES?! 383 00:12:59,509 --> 00:13:01,210 DON'T LET HER PUSH YOUR BUTTONS. 384 00:13:01,211 --> 00:13:02,281 YOU'RE RIGHT. 385 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:03,512 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GONNA RISE ABOVE. 386 00:13:03,513 --> 00:13:05,154 WAY ABOVE. 387 00:13:05,155 --> 00:13:07,486 WATCH ME RISE ALL THE WAY TO THE NORTH POLE. 388 00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:09,018 ON DASHER, ON DANCER 389 00:13:09,019 --> 00:13:11,191 AND ALL... THE OTHER GUYS. 390 00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:16,495 ( stilted ) WHAT HAPPENED TO AUNT MEL? 391 00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:18,267 WHERE OH WHERE COULD SHE HAVE GONE 392 00:13:18,268 --> 00:13:20,029 WHEN CHRISTMAS IS NIGH? 393 00:13:20,030 --> 00:13:23,032 HARK, DO I HEAR SLEIGH BELLS ON THE ROOF? 394 00:13:23,033 --> 00:13:24,174 WHO COULD THAT BE? 395 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,306 HO HO HO! 396 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,378 MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY! 397 00:13:29,379 --> 00:13:31,340 Both: MERRY CHRISTMAS. 398 00:13:31,341 --> 00:13:34,343 OH, WELL, LOOKS LIKE MOST EVERYBODY'S HERE. 399 00:13:34,344 --> 00:13:37,016 BUT WHERE'S THAT ADORABLE MEL BURKE? 400 00:13:37,017 --> 00:13:39,889 SHE ALWAYS DISAPPEARS WHEN SANTA SHOWS UP. 401 00:13:39,890 --> 00:13:42,291 HO HO HO. 402 00:13:42,292 --> 00:13:43,322 SHE DOES THIS EVERY YEAR? 403 00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,493 EVERY YEAR, MAN. 404 00:13:44,494 --> 00:13:46,495 ALL RIGHT. THIS YEAR, SANTA'S GONNA NEED 405 00:13:46,496 --> 00:13:49,328 - HIS LITTLE ELF HELPER. - HEY, WHAT THE...? 406 00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:51,100 BUP BUP BUP. YOUR POINTY-EARED ASS 407 00:13:51,101 --> 00:13:52,201 IS SANTA'S PROPERTY NOW. 408 00:13:52,202 --> 00:13:54,003 SANTA BETTER WATCH HIS MOUTH 409 00:13:54,004 --> 00:13:55,464 OR ELSE SANTA'S GONNA BE GETTING SHOVED BACK UP THE CHIMNEY. 410 00:13:55,465 --> 00:13:56,906 HO HO HO! 411 00:13:56,907 --> 00:13:58,267 WHAT A GRUMPY LITTLE ELF. 412 00:13:58,268 --> 00:14:00,039 - YOU... - ALL RIGHT. 413 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:02,041 I THINK IT'S TIME FOR SOME GIFTS. 414 00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:04,513 SO, HAVE YOU KIDS BEEN GOOD THIS YEAR? 415 00:14:04,514 --> 00:14:07,616 HAVE YOU BEEN ESPECIALLY NICE TO YOUR SWEET AUNT MEL? 416 00:14:07,617 --> 00:14:09,048 WE HAVE, SANTA. 417 00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:10,449 WE DO EVERYTHING SHE TELLS US. 418 00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:13,152 EVEN PRETENDING IT'S NOT LAME WHEN SHE DRESSES UP. 419 00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:14,483 HO HO HO! 420 00:14:14,484 --> 00:14:16,485 SANTA LIKES YOU GUYS. 421 00:14:16,486 --> 00:14:17,626 OKAY. 422 00:14:17,627 --> 00:14:19,158 ONE GIFT TONIGHT, AND THE REST WILL BE 423 00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:20,289 UNDER THE TREE TOMORROW. 424 00:14:20,290 --> 00:14:22,231 BUT, MEREDITH, 425 00:14:22,232 --> 00:14:23,893 I CHECKED MY NICE LIST TWICE, 426 00:14:23,894 --> 00:14:25,434 AND I DIDN'T SEE YOUR NAME. 427 00:14:25,435 --> 00:14:29,038 HMM. CHECK THE NAUGHTY LIST. 428 00:14:29,039 --> 00:14:31,170 OKAY. YOU'RE GROSSING SANTA OUT, 429 00:14:31,171 --> 00:14:34,103 BUT SANTA GOT YOU A GIFT ANYWAY, 430 00:14:34,104 --> 00:14:36,245 BECAUSE SANTA IS SO FORGIVING. 431 00:14:36,246 --> 00:14:37,506 WAIT A MINUTE, SANTA. 432 00:14:37,507 --> 00:14:39,378 THIS MUST HAVE FALLEN OUT OF YOUR BAG. 433 00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:41,051 IT'S GOT MEREDITH'S NAME ON IT. 434 00:14:42,252 --> 00:14:44,183 ( gasps ) 435 00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:46,185 ARE YOU ELFING KIDDING ME? 436 00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:48,617 MY DEAR SWEET, INNOCENT MEREDITH, 437 00:14:48,618 --> 00:14:49,619 WILL YOU MARRY ME? 438 00:14:50,620 --> 00:14:52,291 OF COURSE I WILL! 439 00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:53,963 WAIT, GUYS, AREN'T YOU RUSHING IT A LITTLE? 440 00:14:53,964 --> 00:14:55,464 SHOULDN'T YOU RUN IT BY THE KIDS FIRST? 441 00:14:55,465 --> 00:14:56,966 ELIOT ALREADY TOOK CARE OF THAT. 442 00:14:56,967 --> 00:14:58,167 YEAH, HE CALLED US LAST WEEK 443 00:14:58,168 --> 00:14:59,228 AND ASKED FOR OUR BLESSING. 444 00:14:59,229 --> 00:15:00,599 IT WAS SO SWEET. 445 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:03,172 AND NO ONE TOLD SANTA? 446 00:15:03,173 --> 00:15:06,176 IT'S LIKE SANTA DOESN'T EVEN EXIST. 447 00:15:10,981 --> 00:15:12,041 Mel: LENNOX, RYDER! 448 00:15:12,042 --> 00:15:14,984 CHRISTMAS MORNING. THE SHOW GOES ON. 449 00:15:14,985 --> 00:15:17,216 LOTS MORE CHRISTMAS FUN TO CHECK OFF THE LIST. 450 00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:18,988 MERRY CHRISTMAS. 451 00:15:18,989 --> 00:15:20,449 Both: MERRY CHRISTMAS. 452 00:15:20,450 --> 00:15:22,051 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 453 00:15:22,052 --> 00:15:24,923 OH, ELIOT'S JUST DISARMING MY ANKLE BRACELET. 454 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,655 A LITTLE TIN FOIL DOES THE TRICK. 455 00:15:26,656 --> 00:15:28,227 ISN'T THAT ILLEGAL? 456 00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:30,961 OH, I'VE GOT PULL WITH THE JUDGE. 457 00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:33,202 ( chuckles ) OKAY. 458 00:15:33,203 --> 00:15:34,333 ALL RIGHT, ADORABLE. 459 00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:35,364 ALL RIGHT. THAT'S ENOUGH. 460 00:15:35,365 --> 00:15:37,166 RECESS! 461 00:15:37,167 --> 00:15:38,437 GOOD THING YOU GUYS ARE DOWN HERE, 462 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,609 BECAUSE IT IS TIME TO OPEN THE PRESENTS. 463 00:15:40,610 --> 00:15:43,542 ACTUALLY, WE ARE GONNA DO 464 00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:45,114 THE OFFICIAL GIFT EXCHANGE AT ELIOT'S HOUSE. 465 00:15:45,115 --> 00:15:46,445 CAN'T WAIT TO SHARE THE EXCITING NEWS OF 466 00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:47,716 OUR ENGAGEMENT WITH MY FAMILY. 467 00:15:47,717 --> 00:15:49,648 OH. WELL, I'M SORRY THAT YOU AND MEREDITH 468 00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:51,981 HAVE TO LEAVE IMMEDIATELY, BUT I ASSUME YOU'LL BE BACK AFTERWARDS 469 00:15:51,982 --> 00:15:53,182 TO SEE RYDER AND LENNOX? 470 00:15:53,183 --> 00:15:54,424 - WE'RE READY. - YEAH, LET'S GO. 471 00:15:55,986 --> 00:15:57,356 UH, WHERE ARE YOU GUYS GOING? 472 00:15:57,357 --> 00:15:58,657 IT'S TIME TO OPEN PRESENTS. 473 00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:01,290 OH, WE'RE GONNA OPEN PRESENTS WITH MOM AT ELIOT'S. 474 00:16:01,291 --> 00:16:03,732 BUT THANKS FOR HAVING MOM HERE, AUNT MEL. 475 00:16:03,733 --> 00:16:05,464 YOU'RE WELCOME. 476 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:08,138 YEAH, IT'S BEEN SO GREAT SPENDING CHRISTMAS WITH HER. 477 00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:13,272 - OKAY, WE GOTTA GO, GUYS. - MERRY CHRISTMAS. 478 00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,104 - MERRY CHRISTMAS. - MERRY CHRISTMAS, MEL. 479 00:16:15,105 --> 00:16:17,976 MERRY CHRISTMAS. 480 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,448 "ABANDON AUNT MEL." 481 00:16:19,449 --> 00:16:20,980 THAT'S NOT ON THE LIST. 482 00:16:25,215 --> 00:16:27,086 THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 483 00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:29,118 YEAH, I DIDN'T THINK THE PLANES WOULD BE TAKING OFF TODAY. 484 00:16:29,119 --> 00:16:31,460 NOON FLIGHT. NO, THAT IS TERRIFIC. 485 00:16:31,461 --> 00:16:33,262 YEAH. I'LL TAKE A MIDDLE SEAT. 486 00:16:33,263 --> 00:16:34,593 WHATEVER. I DON'T CARE. 487 00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:36,465 PUT ME BETWEEN A CRYING BABY 488 00:16:36,466 --> 00:16:38,427 AND FAT GUY WITH A COUGH. JUST GET ME ON THE PLANE. 489 00:16:38,428 --> 00:16:39,469 THANKS. 490 00:16:42,432 --> 00:16:44,303 HEY, JOE. 491 00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:46,175 HEY, GOOD MORNING, BURKE. MERRY CHRISTMAS. 492 00:16:46,176 --> 00:16:48,207 GOOD OLD JOE. I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE. 493 00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:51,140 ACTUALLY, I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE AND... 494 00:16:51,141 --> 00:16:53,083 I HEARD PEOPLE UP. WHERE IS EVERYONE? 495 00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:56,245 THEY LEFT. 496 00:16:56,246 --> 00:16:57,217 ALL OF THEM? 497 00:16:57,218 --> 00:16:58,218 YEP. 498 00:16:58,219 --> 00:17:00,049 YEAH, YOU MISSED ALL THE FUN. 499 00:17:00,050 --> 00:17:01,720 LAST NIGHT, ELIOT AND MEREDITH 500 00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:05,124 HAD A LOVELY CONJUGAL VISIT IN THE GUEST ROOM NEXT TO MINE. 501 00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:06,656 IT WAS LIKE 10th GRADE ALL OVER AGAIN. 502 00:17:07,757 --> 00:17:09,458 AND THAT'S NOT EVEN THE BEST PART. 503 00:17:09,459 --> 00:17:10,659 MY SISTER 504 00:17:10,660 --> 00:17:13,262 JUST TOOK MY NIECE AND NEPHEW AWAY FROM ME 505 00:17:13,263 --> 00:17:16,465 ON CHRISTMAS DAY. 506 00:17:16,466 --> 00:17:18,267 WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT ABOUT THE ANKLE THING? 507 00:17:18,268 --> 00:17:19,338 I MEAN, IF SHE LEAVES THE HOUSE... 508 00:17:19,339 --> 00:17:21,140 FOIL, JOE. FOIL. 509 00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:24,213 THE ENTIRE JUSTICE SYSTEM IS TAKEN DOWN BY TIN FOIL. 510 00:17:24,214 --> 00:17:26,215 BUT IT'S OKAY. I'M NOT COMPLETELY ALONE. 511 00:17:26,216 --> 00:17:27,347 I STILL GOT YOU. 512 00:17:28,818 --> 00:17:31,350 UH... YEAH. 513 00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:33,482 YEP. 514 00:17:33,483 --> 00:17:35,285 YOU SURE DO. 515 00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:37,786 WAIT, WHY DID YOU BRING YOUR SUITCASE DOWN? 516 00:17:37,787 --> 00:17:39,288 DID YOU GET A FLIGHT OUT OF HERE? 517 00:17:39,289 --> 00:17:41,160 NO. NO, I DIDN'T GET A FLIGHT. 518 00:17:41,161 --> 00:17:42,161 NOPE. I WAS... 519 00:17:42,162 --> 00:17:43,632 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS? THAT'S WISHFUL THINKING. 520 00:17:43,633 --> 00:17:45,634 I WANTED TO GET A FLIGHT, BUT I COULDN'T GET A FLIGHT. 521 00:17:45,635 --> 00:17:47,796 SO... YEAH. 522 00:17:47,797 --> 00:17:50,600 SO IT'S JUST... IT'S JUST YOU AND ME HERE. 523 00:17:52,302 --> 00:17:54,203 YOU KNOW WHAT? LET'S NOT WASTE THE TIME THOUGH. 524 00:17:54,204 --> 00:17:55,274 LET'S LOOK AT THIS CHRISTMAS LIST OF YOURS 525 00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:57,146 AND SEE WHAT'S LEFT ON HERE 526 00:17:57,147 --> 00:17:58,477 THAT STILL NEEDS TO BE DONE. 527 00:17:58,478 --> 00:17:59,808 WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE? OKAY. 528 00:17:59,809 --> 00:18:02,611 "BIG CHRISTMAS KARAOKE SING-ALONG WITH EVERYBODY." 529 00:18:02,612 --> 00:18:05,814 WE'LL JUST PUT A PIN IN THAT ONE. 530 00:18:05,815 --> 00:18:07,616 OKAY, "MAKE A PEAR TRIFLE WITH BOURBON." 531 00:18:07,617 --> 00:18:09,158 MIGHT BE A LITTLE EARLY FOR BOURBON THOUGH. 532 00:18:09,159 --> 00:18:10,559 AH, NOT WITH THE NIGHT SANTA HAD. 533 00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:12,562 WE MIGHT NOT EVEN NEED THOSE PEARS. 534 00:18:15,225 --> 00:18:17,166 SHE'S GOT THE DIAMONDS. SHE'S GOT THE FIANCE. 535 00:18:17,167 --> 00:18:18,767 SHE'S GOT THE KIDS. WHAT HAVE I GOT? 536 00:18:18,768 --> 00:18:21,230 A BOURBON AND YOU. 537 00:18:21,231 --> 00:18:22,331 THANKS A LOT. 538 00:18:22,332 --> 00:18:24,203 HEY, I PUT YOU UP THERE WITH BOURBON, 539 00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:26,535 AND THIS IS THE GOOD STUFF. 540 00:18:26,536 --> 00:18:28,137 THINK ABOUT IT THIS WAY: ALL RIGHT, YES, 541 00:18:28,138 --> 00:18:29,478 SHE HAS THE KIDS TODAY, 542 00:18:29,479 --> 00:18:31,140 BUT YOU GET THE KIDS THE REST OF THE YEAR. 543 00:18:31,141 --> 00:18:32,381 I MEAN, COME ON. THAT'S NOT A BAD RATIO. 544 00:18:32,382 --> 00:18:33,842 YEAH, MAYBE. 545 00:18:33,843 --> 00:18:35,414 I DON'T KNOW. I JUST FEEL BAD 546 00:18:35,415 --> 00:18:37,146 THAT YOU DIDN'T GET TO SEE YOUR FAMILY THIS YEAR. 547 00:18:37,147 --> 00:18:38,487 OH WELL. 548 00:18:38,488 --> 00:18:39,618 YOU KNOW, IT'S OKAY. 549 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:42,151 I MEAN LOOK, I GET TO BE HERE WITH YOU. 550 00:18:42,152 --> 00:18:45,155 AND YOU KNOW, I GOT TO SEE SANTA CLAUS. 551 00:18:46,156 --> 00:18:47,526 ALTHOUGH I GOTTA TELL YOU, 552 00:18:47,527 --> 00:18:49,758 - HE SEEMED A LITTLE UNHINGED. - WHAT?! 553 00:18:49,759 --> 00:18:51,360 SANTA IS PERFECTLY HINGED. 554 00:18:51,361 --> 00:18:54,203 - HEY, MORE BOURBON. - YES. OKAY. 555 00:18:54,204 --> 00:18:55,504 ALL RIGHT, NOW DON'T BE STINGY. IT'S CHRISTMAS. 556 00:18:55,505 --> 00:18:56,835 - AH! ATTABOY. ATTABOY. - HEY, WHOA. 557 00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:58,167 - LET'S MAKE IT A BLACKOUT CAKE. - WHAT ARE YOU...? 558 00:18:58,168 --> 00:18:59,269 THERE YOU GO. 559 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,141 YOU KNOW, I SAW ON THE NEWS 560 00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:05,314 THAT THE AIRPORT WAS OPEN THIS MORNING. 561 00:19:05,315 --> 00:19:06,475 OH. 562 00:19:06,476 --> 00:19:09,218 WELL, YEAH. THE TOLEDO AIRPORT WAS OPEN, 563 00:19:09,219 --> 00:19:10,349 BUT IF YOU HAD CHECKED NEWARK YOU WOULD'VE SEEN... 564 00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:11,620 NEWARK WAS OPEN, TOO. 565 00:19:11,621 --> 00:19:13,482 - ( stammers ) - YOU LIED TO ME WHEN YOU SAID 566 00:19:13,483 --> 00:19:14,784 YOU COULDN'T GET A FLIGHT OUT. 567 00:19:16,626 --> 00:19:18,928 HEY, TIS THE SEASON. 568 00:19:20,830 --> 00:19:22,591 YOU'RE A GOOD PERSON. 569 00:19:22,592 --> 00:19:25,164 I AM. 570 00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:28,768 ONE TIME A YEAR. 571 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:32,371 YOU KNOW, I AM A LITTLE CURIOUS ABOUT SOMETHING. 572 00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:33,442 YEAH, WHAT? 573 00:19:33,443 --> 00:19:36,445 YOUR ABS ARE SO TIGHT THAT... 574 00:19:36,446 --> 00:19:37,446 DOES THIS HURT? 575 00:19:37,447 --> 00:19:38,507 DOES WHAT? 576 00:19:38,508 --> 00:19:40,178 - THAT? THAT? - WHAT? 577 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:41,350 - THAT? THAT? - I'M SORRY. 578 00:19:41,351 --> 00:19:42,411 - COME ON. - IS THERE A STRONG DRAFT IN HERE? 579 00:19:42,412 --> 00:19:43,482 OH, COME ON. 580 00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:44,613 SOMEBODY TRYING TO DO SOMETHING? 581 00:19:44,614 --> 00:19:46,415 COME ON. GO AHEAD. I DON'T FEEL ANYTHING. 582 00:19:46,416 --> 00:19:47,516 I DON'T FEEL... OKAY OKAY. 583 00:19:47,517 --> 00:19:49,259 THAT'S GOOD. THAT'S ENOUGH. 584 00:19:51,621 --> 00:19:54,723 HEY, ARE WE BACK IN TIME FOR KARAOKE CAROLING? 585 00:19:54,724 --> 00:19:57,326 - JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME. - YES, YOU ARE. 586 00:19:57,327 --> 00:19:59,368 - WHERE'S YOUR MOM? - SHE'S STILL AT ELIOT'S HOUSE. 587 00:19:59,369 --> 00:20:00,769 WHY AREN'T YOU GUYS OPENING GIFTS WITH HER? 588 00:20:00,770 --> 00:20:03,272 WE DID, BUT THEN WE WANTED TO GET BACK HOME... 589 00:20:03,273 --> 00:20:04,803 TO OUR FAMILY. 590 00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:07,537 YEAH, IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY. WHERE ELSE WOULD WE SPEND IT? 591 00:20:09,539 --> 00:20:11,940 WELL THEN, WHERE'S THAT CRAZY LIST OF YOURS? 592 00:20:11,941 --> 00:20:13,242 OH. 593 00:20:13,243 --> 00:20:14,244 OH. 594 00:20:15,785 --> 00:20:16,785 HEY, WE STILL HAVE... 595 00:20:16,786 --> 00:20:17,986 WE STILL HAVE ONE THING LEFT. 596 00:20:17,987 --> 00:20:19,848 CHRISTMAS KARAOKE. 597 00:20:19,849 --> 00:20:22,491 NOW COME ON, LET'S GO. THIS LIST IS NOT GONNA CHECK ITSELF OFF, PEOPLE. 598 00:20:22,492 --> 00:20:23,493 LET'S GO! 599 00:20:28,498 --> 00:20:30,429 UH, LONGO, NOW THAT THEY'RE BACK 600 00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:32,761 YOU COULD PROBABLY STILL CATCH A FLIGHT OUT. 601 00:20:32,762 --> 00:20:34,433 AND MISS HEARING YOU DRUNKENLY MANGLE 602 00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:36,004 ALL THE CHRISTMAS CLASSICS? I DON'T THINK SO. 603 00:20:36,005 --> 00:20:37,506 COME ON. 604 00:20:37,507 --> 00:20:39,338 MY VOICE IMPROVES WITH ALCOHOL. 605 00:20:39,339 --> 00:20:40,639 YEAH, SURE. IF THE AUDIENCE IS DRINKING IT. 606 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:41,971 LET'S GO. 607 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:50,679 ♪ FALL ON YOUR KNEES ♪ 608 00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:55,253 ♪ OH HEAR THE ANGEL VOICES ♪ 609 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:56,285 ♪ OH NIGHT.. ♪ 610 00:20:56,286 --> 00:20:57,686 ( cheering ) 611 00:20:57,687 --> 00:20:58,887 THAT WAS AMAZING. 612 00:20:58,888 --> 00:21:00,389 YOU GOTTA SAVE A LITTLE CHRISTMAS FOR THE REST OF US. 613 00:21:00,390 --> 00:21:01,860 - I DIDN'T FINISH. - I THINK YOU DID. 614 00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:03,762 YEAH. LET'S ALL SING SOME SONGS. 615 00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:05,564 - YEAH. - ABSOLUTELY. ABSOLUTELY. 616 00:21:05,565 --> 00:21:07,766 UH, BUT WE'VE ALREADY DONE ALL OF THESE. 617 00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,668 UH, HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? I KNOW A SONG THAT WE HAVEN'T DONE. 618 00:21:09,669 --> 00:21:12,270 READY? OKAY. HERE WE GO. 619 00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:14,543 ♪ RISE ABOVE, RISE ABOVE ♪ 620 00:21:14,544 --> 00:21:16,274 ♪ CAN'T WE RISE ABOVE? ♪ 621 00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:19,478 All: ♪ IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME, SO LET'S BE KIND ♪ 622 00:21:19,479 --> 00:21:21,750 ♪ AND LIE TO THOSE ♪ 623 00:21:21,751 --> 00:21:23,753 ♪ WE LOVE ♪ 624 00:21:25,385 --> 00:21:27,387 - CHECK! - YEAH!