1 00:00:07,968 --> 00:00:09,679 "MELISSA & JOEY" IS RECORDED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE. 2 00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:12,132 - Joey: SPOTS! - Woman: UM, FRECKLES! 3 00:00:12,133 --> 00:00:13,553 - DOTS! - MEASLES! 4 00:00:13,554 --> 00:00:16,306 - ACNE! SWISS CHEESE! - SWISS CHEESE WITH ACNE! 5 00:00:16,307 --> 00:00:20,400 MEL, HONEY, HAVE YOU LOST COMPLETE CONTROL OF THAT ARM OR WHAT? 6 00:00:20,401 --> 00:00:22,982 - ( alarm rings ) - AH! TIME'S UP. 7 00:00:22,983 --> 00:00:26,407 - WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? - A THOUSAND POINTS OF LIGHT! 8 00:00:28,279 --> 00:00:29,949 A THOUSAND POINTS... 9 00:00:29,950 --> 00:00:31,861 NATE, WOULD YOU HAVE EVER HAVE GUESSED THAT? 10 00:00:31,862 --> 00:00:33,993 I WOULDN'T GUESS IT NOW. ( chuckles ) 11 00:00:33,994 --> 00:00:36,996 - COME ON. GILLIAN? - MEL, I FEEL CLOSE ENOUGH TO YOU NOW 12 00:00:36,997 --> 00:00:38,078 THAT I CAN SAY THIS: 13 00:00:38,079 --> 00:00:40,120 THAT WAS THE WORST CLUE EVER. 14 00:00:40,121 --> 00:00:41,921 HEY, YOU DIDN'T SEE HER CHARADE FOR "50 SHADES OF GREY." 15 00:00:41,922 --> 00:00:43,713 - MM-HMM. - MMM. 16 00:00:43,714 --> 00:00:46,716 - YOU GOT IT, DIDN'T YOU? - YEAH, BUT IT SCARRED ME. 17 00:00:46,717 --> 00:00:49,299 IT'S GETTING LATE. WE SHOULD HEAD HOME. 18 00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:51,131 BUSTER NEEDS TO GET WALKED AND IF WE'RE LATE, 19 00:00:51,132 --> 00:00:53,763 HE EXPRESSES HIS DISAPPROVAL IN URINE. 20 00:00:53,764 --> 00:00:55,805 HOW ABOUT THAT? MEL'S THE SAME WAY. 21 00:00:55,806 --> 00:00:58,139 ( laughs ) WE'LL GET YOU LEFTOVERS, GUYS. 22 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:01,271 HEY, DID YOU THINK IT WENT WELL? 23 00:01:01,272 --> 00:01:03,983 I THINK FOR OUR FIRST COUPLES DATE, IT WAS OFF-THE-CHARTS GOOD. 24 00:01:03,984 --> 00:01:06,106 - I THINK THEY LIKE US. - YEAH, LET'S ASK 'EM 25 00:01:06,107 --> 00:01:07,687 IF THEY WANNA GO OUT WITH US AGAIN. 26 00:01:07,688 --> 00:01:09,068 ARE YOU KIDDING? THE WORST THING YOU COULD DO 27 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,740 ON A FIRST DATE IS SEEM DESPERATE. 28 00:01:10,741 --> 00:01:12,653 OH, BUT I REALLY WANT THEM TO BE OUR FRIENDS! 29 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,865 MEL, WE'VE GONE OUT WITH OTHER COUPLES BEFORE. 30 00:01:15,866 --> 00:01:18,077 YEAH, BUT WE'VE NEVER MADE IT TO A SECOND DATE. 31 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:21,000 THIS THING YOU AND I HAVE IS FUN, BUT IT'S GONNA WEAR OFF. 32 00:01:21,001 --> 00:01:23,003 WE'RE GONNA NEED OTHER PEOPLE. 33 00:01:25,206 --> 00:01:26,207 TO... 34 00:01:27,708 --> 00:01:29,799 TO TALK TO, RIGHT? 35 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:31,631 YES, TO TALK TO. 36 00:01:31,632 --> 00:01:32,882 ALL RIGHT. HEY, HOW ABOUT THIS? 37 00:01:32,883 --> 00:01:34,674 I START TRAINING NATE ON THURSDAY. 38 00:01:34,675 --> 00:01:36,015 I'LL ASK HIM IF HE AND GILLIAN 39 00:01:36,016 --> 00:01:37,807 WANNA GO OUT WITH US AGAIN IN BETWEEN SQUATS. 40 00:01:37,808 --> 00:01:39,769 OOH, THAT'S GOOD, BECAUSE IT SOUNDS CASUAL. 41 00:01:39,770 --> 00:01:43,183 BUT FOR NOW, LET'S JUST TELL THEM THAT WE ENJOYED THE EVENING AND HANG BACK. 42 00:01:43,184 --> 00:01:45,855 TRUST ME, I KNOW HOW COUPLES WORK. 43 00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:47,897 - THEY LOVE THE CHASE. - ( scoffs ) 44 00:01:47,898 --> 00:01:49,319 WHATEVER YOU SAY. 45 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:51,152 A PHRASE I'M BECOMING VERY FAMILIAR WITH. 46 00:01:52,943 --> 00:01:55,114 - HERE'S YOUR LEFTOVERS. - THANKS, GUYS. WE HAD A GREAT TIME. 47 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,576 - YEAH. - WE WERE THINKING THE FOUR OF US 48 00:01:56,577 --> 00:01:57,997 SHOULD GET TOGETHER NEXT WEEK FOR DINNER. 49 00:01:57,998 --> 00:01:59,370 YES! GREAT! DONE! 50 00:02:00,911 --> 00:02:02,702 WAY TO HANG BACK. 51 00:02:02,703 --> 00:02:05,044 - OKAY, GREAT. WE'LL MAKE A PLAN LATER. - OKAY. 52 00:02:05,045 --> 00:02:07,046 COME ON, GILLIAN, THINK OF BUSTER... 53 00:02:07,047 --> 00:02:10,049 - AND HIS VENGEFUL BLADDER. - ( mouths ) 54 00:02:10,050 --> 00:02:12,091 - BYE, GUYS. - ( door closes ) 55 00:02:12,092 --> 00:02:15,094 ( squeals ) THEY ASKED US OUT! 'CAUSE WE'RE AWESOME! 56 00:02:15,095 --> 00:02:16,556 AND YOU KNOW WHAT CLINCHED IT? 57 00:02:16,557 --> 00:02:19,889 MY STORY ABOUT SHOPPING FOR MELONS WITHOUT A BRA. 58 00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:21,140 - NEVER GETS OLD, HONEY. - NOPE. 59 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,762 YOU KNOW WHAT THIS PUTS ME IN THE MOOD FOR? 60 00:02:22,763 --> 00:02:24,474 - SEXY TIME? - SEXY TIME. 61 00:02:24,475 --> 00:02:26,566 OOH! 62 00:02:26,567 --> 00:02:29,148 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - WELL, JUST 'CAUSE IT'S SEXY TIME, 63 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,731 DOESN'T MEAN THAT IT ALSO HAS TO BE MESSY TIME. 64 00:02:31,942 --> 00:02:33,694 WELL, THEN I'M GONNA GET STARTED WITHOUT YA. 65 00:02:35,115 --> 00:02:35,986 WIN WIN! 66 00:02:37,037 --> 00:02:38,578 ( theme music playing ) 67 00:02:38,579 --> 00:02:40,580 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD ♪ - ♪ All good ♪ 68 00:02:40,581 --> 00:02:42,372 - ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪ - ♪ Okay ♪ 69 00:02:42,373 --> 00:02:44,083 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT ♪ - ♪ All right ♪ 70 00:02:44,084 --> 00:02:45,995 ♪ AS FAR AS I CAN SEE ♪ 71 00:02:45,996 --> 00:02:47,417 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD ♪ - ♪ All good ♪ 72 00:02:47,418 --> 00:02:49,088 - ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪ - ♪ Okay ♪ 73 00:02:49,089 --> 00:02:51,000 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT ♪ - ♪ All right ♪ 74 00:02:51,001 --> 00:02:54,003 ♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK ♪ 75 00:02:54,004 --> 00:02:56,847 ♪ WITH ME ♪ 76 00:02:58,799 --> 00:03:01,301 GOOD GOOD GOOD. NOW I WANT YOU TO VISUALIZE THIS EXTENSION, OKAY? 77 00:03:01,302 --> 00:03:03,062 'CAUSE THE BODY FOLLOWS THE MIND. 78 00:03:03,063 --> 00:03:05,144 THAT'S TOO MUCH THINKING FOR ME. 79 00:03:05,145 --> 00:03:07,186 JUST GIVE ME 10 MORE REPS THEN. 80 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,479 YOU KNOW, NATE, 81 00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:12,362 MEL AND I ARE REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO DINNER NEXT WEEK WITH YOU GUYS. 82 00:03:12,363 --> 00:03:13,983 YOU KNOW WHAT RESTAURANT I THINK WE SHOULD GO TO? 83 00:03:13,984 --> 00:03:16,155 WAIT A MINUTE, I'M SORRY. 84 00:03:16,156 --> 00:03:17,407 I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND NOW. 85 00:03:17,408 --> 00:03:19,198 I CAN'T PICK RESTAURANTS ANYMORE. 86 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,870 I CAN STILL CHOOSE THE DAY, THOUGH. 87 00:03:20,871 --> 00:03:23,032 HOW DOES... HOW DOES FRIDAY NIGHT WORK FOR YOU GUYS? 88 00:03:23,033 --> 00:03:25,705 - OH. FRIDAY'S BAD. - OH, ALL RIGHT. 89 00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:28,788 - WHAT ABOUT SATURDAY? - SATURDAY'S NO GOOD. 90 00:03:28,789 --> 00:03:30,710 OH, I SEE. I GET IT. 91 00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:32,041 ALL RIGHT, YOU AND GILLIAN TALKED 92 00:03:32,042 --> 00:03:34,504 AND DECIDED THAT ONE OF US WAS... BLECH! 93 00:03:34,505 --> 00:03:37,096 - ( chuckles ) MEL GROWS ON YOU. - ( breathing hard ) 94 00:03:37,097 --> 00:03:40,139 NO NO NO, I LOVE MEL. I JUST... 95 00:03:40,140 --> 00:03:42,011 I DON'T... 96 00:03:42,012 --> 00:03:44,013 THINK I LOVE MY WIFE ANYMORE. 97 00:03:44,014 --> 00:03:47,847 - YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? - NO. 98 00:03:47,848 --> 00:03:51,060 I MEAN, I LOVE GILLIAN. I'M JUST NOT IN LOVE WITH HER. 99 00:03:51,061 --> 00:03:53,192 - THE FIRE'S GONE. - YOU'RE MARRIED. 100 00:03:53,193 --> 00:03:54,984 IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE GONE. 101 00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:57,447 BUT OUT IN THE WORLD, THERE'S SO MUCH POSSIBILITY. 102 00:03:57,448 --> 00:04:00,199 LIKE THERE'S THIS ONE BARISTA NEAR OUR HOUSE, ALANA. 103 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:03,783 - OH MY GOD. - WE KINDA HAVE THIS FLIRTING THING GOING ON. 104 00:04:03,784 --> 00:04:05,365 AFTER I TELL HER WHAT COFFEE I'D LIKE, 105 00:04:05,366 --> 00:04:07,497 SHE ALWAYS SAYS... 106 00:04:07,498 --> 00:04:09,459 "ANYTHING ELSE?" 107 00:04:09,460 --> 00:04:12,131 NEXT THING YOU KNOW, SHE'LL BE SAYING THINGS LIKE, 108 00:04:12,132 --> 00:04:13,963 "HERE'S YOUR CHANGE." 109 00:04:13,964 --> 00:04:16,175 I'M TELLING YOU, MAN, SHE WANTS ME. 110 00:04:16,176 --> 00:04:18,047 I DON'T GET IT. I DON'T GET IT. 111 00:04:18,048 --> 00:04:20,340 YOU AND GILLIAN SEEMED SO GOOD THE OTHER NIGHT. 112 00:04:20,341 --> 00:04:22,261 YEAH, "SEEMED," BUT... 113 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,053 IT'S OVER. 114 00:04:24,054 --> 00:04:27,347 WHEN THE MOMENT'S RIGHT, I'M GONNA LET HER DOWN GENTLY. 115 00:04:27,348 --> 00:04:30,980 WELL, THAT'S NICE. YEAH, YOU'RE GONNA DUMP YOUR WIFE GENTLY. 116 00:04:30,981 --> 00:04:32,812 I'M SORRY, MAN. I HAD TO GET IT OFF MY CHEST. 117 00:04:32,813 --> 00:04:34,654 PLEASE DON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THIS TO ANYBODY. 118 00:04:34,655 --> 00:04:37,106 I WON'T. I CAN KEEP A SECRET. 119 00:04:37,107 --> 00:04:38,988 I'M LIKE A VAULT. YOU KNOW, I'M SMOOTH, 120 00:04:38,989 --> 00:04:42,782 I'M SLEEK, MADE OF STEEL. 121 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:45,164 IN THAT CASE, LEMME TELL YOU ABOUT THIS NEW PARALEGAL AT WORK. 122 00:04:45,165 --> 00:04:46,577 YEAH, VAULT'S FULL. 123 00:04:48,709 --> 00:04:51,581 OH GOD! ZANDER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, MAN? 124 00:04:51,582 --> 00:04:53,002 I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE IN VERMONT. 125 00:04:53,003 --> 00:04:55,465 I AM SUPPOSED TO BE IN VERMONT, BUT I'M NOT. 126 00:04:55,466 --> 00:04:57,717 CAN WE TALK INSIDE? 127 00:04:57,718 --> 00:05:01,921 LOOK, IF YOU'RE HERE FOR ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR SURPRISE CHECK-UPS ON LENNOX, SHE'S NOT HOME. 128 00:05:01,922 --> 00:05:02,922 THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH LENNOX. 129 00:05:02,923 --> 00:05:05,015 COULD YOU OPEN THE DOOR, PLEASE? 130 00:05:07,928 --> 00:05:10,229 I'M IN DEEP TROUBLE. I NEED A PLACE TO HIDE OUT. 131 00:05:10,230 --> 00:05:12,983 WHAT? YOU KILL A GUY? 132 00:05:14,274 --> 00:05:16,065 'CAUSE THAT'D BE COOL. 133 00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:17,437 WHAT? NO, I'M AN ART STUDENT. 134 00:05:17,438 --> 00:05:20,440 WE CAN ONLY KILL PRE-EXISTING MODES OF EXPRESSION. 135 00:05:20,441 --> 00:05:22,652 AND I'M NOT REALLY AN ART STUDENT ANYMORE. 136 00:05:22,653 --> 00:05:23,993 I MADE SO MANY TRIPS BACK TO TOLEDO, 137 00:05:23,994 --> 00:05:26,496 - I KINDA FLUNKED OUT. - MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE 138 00:05:26,497 --> 00:05:28,498 KEPT CHECKING UP ON LENNOX AND HER NEW BOYFRIEND. 139 00:05:28,499 --> 00:05:29,869 OH, THANKS FOR POINTING THAT OUT. 140 00:05:29,870 --> 00:05:31,831 LOOK, I... 141 00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,663 PLEASE DON'T TELL ANYBODY I'M HERE, ESPECIALLY LENNOX. 142 00:05:33,664 --> 00:05:35,505 I DON'T WANT HER TO THINK I'M SPYING ON HER, 143 00:05:35,506 --> 00:05:38,918 YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE I'M TOTALLY OVER HER. BELIEVE ME. 144 00:05:38,919 --> 00:05:40,339 THEN WHY ARE YOU IN HER HOUSE? 145 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,552 'CAUSE I CAN'T FACE MY DAD. HE'S PRONE TO YELLING 146 00:05:42,553 --> 00:05:45,385 WHEN I WASTE THOUSANDS OF HIS DOLLARS! 147 00:05:45,386 --> 00:05:47,136 LOOK, I JUST NEED A COUPLE OF DAYS TO FIGURE THINGS OUT. 148 00:05:47,137 --> 00:05:50,309 - YOU GOTTA HELP ME. - WHAT, YOU WANT ME TO HIDE YOU IN MY ROOM? 149 00:05:50,310 --> 00:05:51,811 WHAT? ( laughing ) 150 00:05:51,812 --> 00:05:55,064 HIDE ME IN YOUR BEDROOM? NO, THAT WOULD BE RIDICULOUS. 151 00:05:55,065 --> 00:05:56,477 YOU HAVE A BASEMENT, THOUGH, RIGHT? 152 00:05:59,149 --> 00:06:00,480 ( door opens ) 153 00:06:00,481 --> 00:06:02,071 OH, JOE, THERE YOU ARE. 154 00:06:02,072 --> 00:06:05,074 I WAS THINKING ABOUT OUR FRIDAY NIGHT DINNER. 155 00:06:05,075 --> 00:06:07,487 I THINK WE SHOULD TAKE NATE AND GILLIAN TO VITELLO'S. 156 00:06:07,488 --> 00:06:09,659 YEAH, OR MAYBE NOT. 157 00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:11,330 ARE YOU KIDDING? GILLIAN LOVES ITALIAN, 158 00:06:11,331 --> 00:06:13,253 AND SHE SAID NATE IS ALWAYS UP FOR TRYING SOMETHING NEW. 159 00:06:15,956 --> 00:06:18,458 SO I HEAR. 160 00:06:18,459 --> 00:06:22,051 I HAVE THIS LITTLE FANTASY WHERE SOME DAY WE'LL TRAVEL 161 00:06:22,052 --> 00:06:23,673 WITH NATE AND GILLIAN TO ITALY. 162 00:06:23,674 --> 00:06:27,386 WE CAN BOAT AROUND LAKE COMO, RIDE THE GONDOLAS IN VENICE, 163 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,009 SEE THE FROZEN LAVA PEOPLE IN POMPEII. 164 00:06:31,602 --> 00:06:33,062 TOO SOON? 165 00:06:33,063 --> 00:06:36,105 HONEY, I DON'T REALLY LIKE TO PLAN THAT FAR IN THE FUTURE. 166 00:06:36,106 --> 00:06:37,937 I SORTA JUST LIKE TO LIVE IN THE MOMENT. 167 00:06:37,938 --> 00:06:39,609 ( chuckles ) YOU SEE THAT? 168 00:06:39,610 --> 00:06:42,111 THAT WAS A BEAUTIFUL MOMENT RIGHT THERE. 169 00:06:42,112 --> 00:06:43,443 OOH OOH OOH OOH! 170 00:06:43,444 --> 00:06:45,575 THERE WAS ANOTHER ONE. 171 00:06:45,576 --> 00:06:46,786 WHY ARE YOU SUDDENLY SO NEGATIVE 172 00:06:46,787 --> 00:06:48,077 ABOUT OUR FRIENDSHIP WITH NATE AND GILLIAN? 173 00:06:48,078 --> 00:06:49,869 I'M NOT BEING NEGATIVE. IT'S JUST THE FUTURE IS... 174 00:06:49,870 --> 00:06:52,031 IT'S IN THE FUTURE. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN IN THE FUTURE. 175 00:06:52,032 --> 00:06:54,034 ASK THOSE FROZEN LAVA PEOPLE. 176 00:06:55,085 --> 00:06:56,876 HEY, YOU KNOW SOMETHING. 177 00:06:56,877 --> 00:06:59,039 PUT DOWN YOUR BALLS AND LOOK ME IN THE EYE. 178 00:07:00,631 --> 00:07:02,502 NATE SAID SOMETHING. TELL ME WHAT HE TOLD YOU. 179 00:07:02,503 --> 00:07:04,093 COME ON, TELL ME... 180 00:07:04,094 --> 00:07:06,305 - HEY! - ...OR THE REST OF THEM GET IT. 181 00:07:06,306 --> 00:07:08,097 ALL RIGHT, LOOK, NATE DID TELL ME SOMETHING, 182 00:07:08,098 --> 00:07:10,309 - BUT I CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT NATE TOLD ME. - JOE, WE'RE A COUPLE. 183 00:07:10,310 --> 00:07:11,761 WE'RE SUPPOSED TO TELL EACH OTHER EVERYTHING. 184 00:07:11,762 --> 00:07:13,102 HONEY, HE TOLD ME IN CONFIDENCE! 185 00:07:13,103 --> 00:07:15,606 COME ON, YOU KNOW THE SAYING. BROS BEFORE H... 186 00:07:17,057 --> 00:07:19,108 THE LADIES. 187 00:07:19,109 --> 00:07:21,731 - JOE. - I MADE A NATE A PROMISE! 188 00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:23,062 YOU CAN ALWAYS TELL YOUR PARTNER SOMETHING 189 00:07:23,063 --> 00:07:24,113 THAT HAS BEEN TOLD TO YOU IN CONFIDENCE. 190 00:07:24,114 --> 00:07:26,946 IT'S... IT'S THE COUPLES' CODE. 191 00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:29,278 - YOU JUST MADE THAT UP. - NO, IT'S A REAL THING! 192 00:07:29,279 --> 00:07:32,071 ONE HEART, ONE MIND. THAT'S WHY BOYFRIENDS AND GIRLFRIENDS 193 00:07:32,072 --> 00:07:34,074 CAN'T BE MADE TO TESTIFY AGAINST EACH OTHER. 194 00:07:35,035 --> 00:07:37,076 YEAH, THEY CAN. 195 00:07:37,077 --> 00:07:38,998 WHAT, ARE YOU A LAWYER NOW? 196 00:07:38,999 --> 00:07:40,290 - HEY! - TELL ME! 197 00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:45,215 ALL RIGHT, FINE. 198 00:07:46,386 --> 00:07:47,757 NATE'S GONNA LEAVE GILLIAN. 199 00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:49,799 SHUT THE FRONT DOOR. 200 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:51,050 HE HASN'T TOLD HER YET. 201 00:07:51,051 --> 00:07:53,302 OH NO, GILLIAN'S GONNA BE DEVASTATED. 202 00:07:53,303 --> 00:07:57,186 I KNOW. HEY, YOU CANNOT BREATHE A WORD OF THIS TO GILLIAN, ALL RIGHT? 203 00:07:57,187 --> 00:07:59,729 I TOLD YOU UNDER THE COUPLES' CODE. YOU GOTTA KEEP IT A SECRET. 204 00:07:59,730 --> 00:08:02,312 - BUT... - AH, BUP BUP! IT'S A REAL THING. 205 00:08:03,694 --> 00:08:05,154 DAMN, IT IS. 206 00:08:05,155 --> 00:08:07,277 WILL YOU STOP SQUASHING MY BALLS?! 207 00:08:12,743 --> 00:08:15,615 SO I'M GONNA GET A WHOLE NEW BEDROOM SET, 208 00:08:15,616 --> 00:08:16,826 NOT JUST THE HEADBOARD. 209 00:08:16,827 --> 00:08:18,878 IT'S EXPENSIVE, BUT NATE'S WORTH IT. 210 00:08:18,879 --> 00:08:19,999 MM-HMM, MM-HMM. 211 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,921 'CAUSE IF I SPLURGE ON A NEW MATTRESS, 212 00:08:21,922 --> 00:08:23,883 I MIGHT AS WELL TURN THE WHOLE BEDROOM 213 00:08:23,884 --> 00:08:26,505 INTO THE PERFECT LITTLE LOVE NEST FOR ME AND NATE, RIGHT? 214 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,718 MM-HMM. ( chuckles ) 215 00:08:28,719 --> 00:08:31,470 GEE, MEL, YOU'VE HARDLY SAID A WORD THIS WHOLE TIME. 216 00:08:31,471 --> 00:08:33,723 OH, IT'S JUST SUCH DAMN GOOD COFFEE. 217 00:08:33,724 --> 00:08:35,434 AND I JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF IT. 218 00:08:35,435 --> 00:08:37,767 - MMM MMM. - OH, I FORGOT. 219 00:08:37,768 --> 00:08:40,980 LAST NIGHT I TOLD NATE WHAT I WAS GIVING HIM FOR HIS BIRTHDAY... 220 00:08:40,981 --> 00:08:43,813 A WEEK AT N.B.A. FANTASY BASKETBALL CAMP. 221 00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:46,235 HE WAS SO EXCITED. 222 00:08:46,236 --> 00:08:48,197 IT WAS LIKE THE BIGGEST SURPRISE EVER. 223 00:08:48,198 --> 00:08:51,530 MAYBE NOT THE BIGGEST. 224 00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:52,952 WELL, I HAD TO TELL HIM EARLY. 225 00:08:52,953 --> 00:08:54,413 - I JUST CAN'T KEEP A SECRET. - MMM. 226 00:08:54,414 --> 00:08:57,787 IT IS HARD FOR GOOD PEOPLE TO KEEP A SECRET. 227 00:08:57,788 --> 00:08:59,789 YOU KNOW, GOOD, WELL-MEANING PEOPLE. 228 00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:02,211 AND NATE, HE'S... HE'S SUCH A WONDERFUL HUSBAND. 229 00:09:02,212 --> 00:09:04,043 - ( gulps ) - YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT HE DOES? 230 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,255 AT ANY TIME OF DAY OR NIGHT, 231 00:09:06,256 --> 00:09:07,877 IF I WANT A CAPPUCCINO, 232 00:09:07,878 --> 00:09:10,970 HE WILL RUN DOWN TO THE STARBUCKS AND GET IT FOR ME. 233 00:09:10,971 --> 00:09:13,934 I AM SO LUCKY TO HAVE HIM. 234 00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:16,887 NATE'S LEAVING YOU. 235 00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:25,025 BUY HEY, THE GOOD NEWS IS HOME CAPPUCCINO MAKERS HAVE REALLY COME DOWN IN PRICE. 236 00:09:30,741 --> 00:09:32,862 GILLIAN, SWEETIE, OKAY. 237 00:09:32,863 --> 00:09:34,744 ARE YOU PULLING INTO YOUR DRIVEWAY? 238 00:09:34,745 --> 00:09:38,537 GOOD. NOW LET ME HEAR YOU TURN OFF THE CAR BEFORE YOU CLOSE THE GARAGE. 239 00:09:38,538 --> 00:09:41,961 OH, THAT'S MY WILL-TO-LIVE GIRL. 240 00:09:41,962 --> 00:09:44,163 OKAY, YOU CALL ME IF YOU NEED ANYTHING... 241 00:09:44,164 --> 00:09:47,546 'CAUSE I SURE NEED SOMETHING. 242 00:09:47,547 --> 00:09:50,840 HEY, LENNOX, LET ME ASK YOU A HYPOTHETICAL QUESTION. 243 00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:53,172 IF YOU KNEW YOUR FRIEND WAS GONNA BE DUMPED, YOU'D TELL HER, RIGHT? 244 00:09:53,173 --> 00:09:56,135 OH MY GOD, YES. I COULDN'T LIVE WITH MYSELF, 245 00:09:56,136 --> 00:09:57,807 WALKING AROUND WITH THAT KIND OF INFORMATION. 246 00:09:57,808 --> 00:09:59,558 EVEN IF YOU PROMISED SOMEONE YOU WOULDN'T TELL? 247 00:09:59,559 --> 00:10:01,480 EVEN IF. YOU HAVE TO! 248 00:10:01,481 --> 00:10:03,182 SISTERS GOTTA HAVE EACH OTHER'S BACKS. 249 00:10:03,183 --> 00:10:05,935 RIGHT? SO IF I KNOW SOMETHING, IT'S MY SISTERLY DUTY TO TELL. 250 00:10:05,936 --> 00:10:08,397 I HAVE TO PASS THAT INFORMATION ALONG. 251 00:10:08,398 --> 00:10:09,899 IT IS THE SACRED BOND OF SISTERHOOD. 252 00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:13,362 EXACTLY. SO WHO IS IT? WHAT HAPPENED? 253 00:10:13,363 --> 00:10:15,615 OH, GIRL, I CAN'T TELL YOU. 254 00:10:18,328 --> 00:10:21,080 - NICE. - MAN, YOU REALLY KNOW YOUR STUFF, JOE. 255 00:10:21,081 --> 00:10:22,832 MY STAMINA IS WAY UP. 256 00:10:22,833 --> 00:10:24,874 I SWEAR I'VE TAKEN OFF LIKE FIVE POUNDS. 257 00:10:24,875 --> 00:10:26,295 GOOD GOOD. 258 00:10:26,296 --> 00:10:28,708 HEY, SPEAKING OF TAKING OFF, 259 00:10:28,709 --> 00:10:31,170 HOW'S EVERYTHING GOING ON THE HOME FRONT? 260 00:10:31,171 --> 00:10:34,714 I'M ASSUMING THAT YOU'RE STILL AT HOME AND MARRIED AND ALL. 261 00:10:34,715 --> 00:10:37,717 OH, THAT? YOU CAN RELAX, BREAK-UP'S OFF. 262 00:10:37,718 --> 00:10:39,889 REALLY? DUDE, THAT'S GREAT! 263 00:10:39,890 --> 00:10:42,641 HEY, UP HIGH FOR NOT LEAVING YOUR WIFE! 264 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:45,144 - ( both laugh ) - WHAT MADE YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND? 265 00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,937 LAST NIGHT, GILLIAN TOLD ME THE BIRTHDAY PRESENT SHE'S GETTING ME... 266 00:10:47,938 --> 00:10:51,110 FANTASY BASKETBALL CAMP. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? 267 00:10:51,111 --> 00:10:54,824 WHAT DO YOU KNOW, HUH? ANOTHER MARRIAGE SAVED BY THE N.B.A. 268 00:10:54,825 --> 00:10:56,575 GILLIAN KNOWS ME SO WELL. 269 00:10:56,576 --> 00:10:58,327 I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING. 270 00:10:58,328 --> 00:11:00,990 SHE'S MY SOUL MATE. I GUESS WE WERE JUST GOING THROUGH A LITTLE FUNK. 271 00:11:00,991 --> 00:11:02,872 SO GLAD THAT SHE WILL NEVER FIND OUT 272 00:11:02,873 --> 00:11:04,663 ABOUT THE LITTLE BOMB THAT ALMOST WENT OFF. 273 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,245 SO GLAD YOU'RE THE ONLY PERSON I TOLD. 274 00:11:06,246 --> 00:11:08,918 ( scoffs ) YEAH, AND WHO WOULD I TELL? 275 00:11:08,919 --> 00:11:10,711 ( chuckles ) NO ONE. THAT'S THE ANSWER. 276 00:11:13,794 --> 00:11:16,926 And then Cassandra has to confront her English teacher, 277 00:11:16,927 --> 00:11:19,468 the hydra! 278 00:11:19,469 --> 00:11:22,762 IT'S REALLY HARD TO SEE. YOU'RE PIXELATING LIKE CRAZY. 279 00:11:22,763 --> 00:11:26,806 WHERE ARE YOU CALLING ME FROM, AN UNDERGROUND PARKING GARAGE? 280 00:11:26,807 --> 00:11:29,729 No. Why would I be calling you from anywhere 281 00:11:29,730 --> 00:11:32,231 - OTHER THAN MY DORM ROOM HERE IN GOOD OLD VERMONT? - ( door opens ) 282 00:11:32,232 --> 00:11:33,733 IT LOOKS DIFFERENT. 283 00:11:33,734 --> 00:11:35,945 - NO, IT DOESN'T. - HERE, BRO. 284 00:11:35,946 --> 00:11:37,947 - SHH SHH! - WHO'S THAT? 285 00:11:37,948 --> 00:11:40,529 Nobody. Oh, him. 286 00:11:40,530 --> 00:11:42,621 ( laughs ) It's... it's my new roommate... 287 00:11:42,622 --> 00:11:45,414 - Sanjay. - THAT'S FUNNY. 288 00:11:45,415 --> 00:11:48,918 SANJAY IS ACTUALLY WEARING THE SAME SHIRT THAT RYDER IS WEARING TODAY. 289 00:11:48,919 --> 00:11:51,961 I don't think it's funny at all. It's a very popular T-shirt. 290 00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:55,094 Sanjay, you can leave now, 'cause I'm working 291 00:11:55,095 --> 00:11:58,968 with my friend Lennox here who is very far away in Toledo. 292 00:11:58,969 --> 00:12:00,840 ( Indian accent ) Oh yes, the pretty blonde girl. 293 00:12:00,841 --> 00:12:02,341 She's quite the hottie. 294 00:12:02,342 --> 00:12:04,764 What I wouldn't do to get with an American girl like her. 295 00:12:04,765 --> 00:12:07,346 WHAT PART OF INDIA IS HE FROM? 296 00:12:07,347 --> 00:12:09,019 THE IRISH QUARTER. 297 00:12:10,650 --> 00:12:12,481 - LET'S GET BACK TO THE WORK. - ( door closes ) 298 00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:15,564 Well, as usual, your drawings look great. 299 00:12:15,565 --> 00:12:17,026 I just have to catch up with the stories. 300 00:12:17,027 --> 00:12:18,657 I've been so crazy busy. 301 00:12:18,658 --> 00:12:22,621 Oh, with what? German expressionist film class or... 302 00:12:22,622 --> 00:12:24,824 extracurriculars? 303 00:12:24,825 --> 00:12:27,706 Zander, would you stop giving me such a hard time about Emerson? 304 00:12:27,707 --> 00:12:30,129 Okay, you and I have separate lives now. 305 00:12:30,130 --> 00:12:32,792 There are hundreds and hundreds of miles between us 306 00:12:32,793 --> 00:12:34,373 and that should make it easier for you 307 00:12:34,374 --> 00:12:36,926 to leave my private life alone. 308 00:12:36,927 --> 00:12:40,009 Yup. Hundreds and hundreds of miles. 309 00:12:40,010 --> 00:12:42,882 - HERE YOU GO. - OH, RYDER, YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS. 310 00:12:42,883 --> 00:12:44,884 ZANDER'S ROOMMATE HAS THE SAME T-SHIRT YOU HAVE. 311 00:12:44,885 --> 00:12:48,347 I DON'T BELIEVE IT. ZANDER, PUT YOUR ROOMMATE ON CAMERA. 312 00:12:48,348 --> 00:12:49,688 He left, okay? 313 00:12:49,689 --> 00:12:51,811 He's captain of the dork squad 314 00:12:51,812 --> 00:12:53,983 and he's got a big meet coming up. 315 00:12:53,984 --> 00:12:56,445 Oh my gosh. Wait. What? Look at that. 316 00:12:56,446 --> 00:12:58,988 - We both ordered from Taco Burger. - ( chuckles ) 317 00:12:58,989 --> 00:13:01,200 - What are the odds? - Wow. 318 00:13:01,201 --> 00:13:04,113 HIGH, OBVIOUSLY. OBVIOUSLY VERY HIGH. 319 00:13:04,114 --> 00:13:07,286 CAN WE JUST CUT THE CHIT-CHAT AND GET BACK TO WORK PLEASE? 320 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,708 - THANK YOU. - Hey yo, when your roommate gets back, 321 00:13:09,709 --> 00:13:11,911 we should all video chat together. 322 00:13:11,912 --> 00:13:13,582 No, thanks. 323 00:13:13,583 --> 00:13:15,464 He doesn't really like being on camera 324 00:13:15,465 --> 00:13:17,086 ever since his face got all messed up 325 00:13:17,087 --> 00:13:19,549 after he kept messing with his friend. 326 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:22,091 - ( door opens ) - Joe: HEY, MEL! 327 00:13:22,092 --> 00:13:24,553 GREAT NEWS, ALL RIGHT? 328 00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:26,015 NATE IS NOT LEAVING GILLIAN. 329 00:13:26,016 --> 00:13:28,978 THEY'RE STAYING TOGETHER, SO THE LOVE BOAT IS SAILING ON. 330 00:13:28,979 --> 00:13:31,190 THAT'S AMAZING NEWS! THAT'S FANTASTIC! 331 00:13:31,191 --> 00:13:33,773 - MM-HMM. - OH CRAP. 332 00:13:35,435 --> 00:13:36,897 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "OH CRAP"? 333 00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:40,780 DID YOU TELL GILLIAN THAT NATE WAS GONNA LEAVE HER? 334 00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:43,323 WELL... 335 00:13:49,079 --> 00:13:50,910 I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU SPILLED THE BEANS 336 00:13:50,911 --> 00:13:52,711 TO GILLIAN ABOUT NATE WANTING TO DUMP HER! 337 00:13:52,712 --> 00:13:54,663 YOU GAVE ME THE BEANS. WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO? 338 00:13:54,664 --> 00:13:57,046 I DON'T KNOW! CLENCH LIKE A DRUG MULE 339 00:13:57,047 --> 00:13:58,878 ON A PLANE FROM COLUMBIA! 340 00:13:58,879 --> 00:14:01,921 - WHAT HAPPENED TO THE COUPLES' CODE? - HEY, THE COUPLES' CODE 341 00:14:01,922 --> 00:14:03,722 IS SUPERSEDED BY THE BOND OF SISTERHOOD. 342 00:14:03,723 --> 00:14:06,805 ASK LENNOX. WOMEN ARE FOREVER. MEN COME AND GO. 343 00:14:06,806 --> 00:14:08,427 YEAH. YEAH, I'M SURE THEY COME AND GO 344 00:14:08,428 --> 00:14:09,848 WHEN YOU CAN'T CONTROL WHAT'S COMING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH! 345 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,101 MY MOUTH? I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WITH A MOUTH HERE. 346 00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:13,812 WHO BROKE THE CONFIDENCE FIRST, JOE? 347 00:14:13,813 --> 00:14:15,895 ARE YOU K... YOU MADE ME TELL YOU! 348 00:14:15,896 --> 00:14:17,526 AND I TOLD YOU IN CONFIDENCE. 349 00:14:17,527 --> 00:14:18,777 SO ACTUALLY, YOU BROKE MY CONFIDENCE! 350 00:14:18,778 --> 00:14:20,359 WELL, YOU BROKE THE CONFIDENCE FIRST. 351 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:21,901 I WAS JUST PASSING ALONG THE CONFIDENCE YOU ALREADY BROKE, 352 00:14:21,902 --> 00:14:24,484 SO IN A SENSE, YOU'RE THE ONE THAT TOLD GILLIAN, NOT ME. 353 00:14:26,576 --> 00:14:28,117 YOU EVER LISTEN TO YOURSELF? 354 00:14:28,118 --> 00:14:29,788 OKAY, FINE. I WAS JUST GRASPING. 355 00:14:29,789 --> 00:14:32,661 THIS IS BAD, JOE. YOU KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW? 356 00:14:32,662 --> 00:14:34,543 GILLIAN WENT HOME, CONFRONTED NATE, 357 00:14:34,544 --> 00:14:36,545 THERE'S YELLING. SHE TOSSED ALL HIS STUFF OUT ON THE LAWN. 358 00:14:36,546 --> 00:14:38,587 BUSTER IS PROBABLY PEEING EVERYWHERE. 359 00:14:38,588 --> 00:14:40,419 OH, THAT POOR LITTLE GUY. 360 00:14:40,420 --> 00:14:44,173 YOU KNOW, IN A BREAK-UP, IT'S ALWAYS THE DOG WHO PAYS THE PRICE. 361 00:14:44,174 --> 00:14:46,555 - ( cellphone rings ) - OH. 362 00:14:46,556 --> 00:14:49,598 AH! IT'S A TEXT FROM GILLIAN! I CAN'T READ IT. YOU READ IT. 363 00:14:49,599 --> 00:14:50,809 - ALL RIGHT. - OKAY, I'LL READ IT. NO, YOU! 364 00:14:50,810 --> 00:14:52,641 WAIT, NO! OKAY, DAMN IT, I'LL DO IT. 365 00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:56,185 "FOR OUR DINNER, HOW ABOUT THAT SUSHI PLACE YOU'VE BEEN WANTING TO TRY? 366 00:14:56,186 --> 00:14:58,227 SEE YOU GUYS FRIDAY AT 8:00." 367 00:14:58,228 --> 00:14:59,688 WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 368 00:14:59,689 --> 00:15:01,481 LET ME SEE THAT. 369 00:15:02,612 --> 00:15:04,984 APPARENTLY THE DINNER IS STILL ON. 370 00:15:04,985 --> 00:15:07,696 HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? I MEAN DOES THAT MEAN SHE TALKED TO HIM, 371 00:15:07,697 --> 00:15:09,618 - SHE DIDN'T TALK TO HIM? - NO NO NO, SHE HAD TO HAVE TALKED TO HIM. 372 00:15:09,619 --> 00:15:11,830 YOU DON'T HEAR SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND SAY NOTHING. 373 00:15:11,831 --> 00:15:14,413 MAYBE SHE DIDN'T. MAYBE SHE DECIDED 374 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:17,336 TO HOLD ON TO IT AND USE IT LATER WHEN SHE'S REALLY TICKED OFF. 375 00:15:17,337 --> 00:15:18,707 WHO WOULD DO THAT? 376 00:15:18,708 --> 00:15:21,541 NOBODY. 377 00:15:24,304 --> 00:15:26,346 ( switch clicks ) 378 00:15:28,718 --> 00:15:31,720 ( Lennox sighs ) SEE? I TOLD YOU THIS IS THE PERFECT PLACE. 379 00:15:31,721 --> 00:15:33,262 WE DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR ROOMMATES 380 00:15:33,263 --> 00:15:35,264 AND THEIR BEER PONG TOURNAMENTS AND MY LITTLE BROTHER 381 00:15:35,265 --> 00:15:36,855 ( mutters ) BEING IN THE ROOM RIGHT NEXT DOOR. 382 00:15:36,856 --> 00:15:39,478 I LIKE IT. PRIVATE AND QUIET... 383 00:15:39,479 --> 00:15:41,480 AND SMELLING A LITTLE LIKE TACOS. 384 00:15:41,481 --> 00:15:43,693 OH, EMERSON, YOU AND YOUR SWEET TALK. 385 00:15:50,030 --> 00:15:52,491 ( clatters ) 386 00:15:52,492 --> 00:15:54,493 ZANDER?! 387 00:15:54,494 --> 00:15:56,246 LENNOX SCANLON. 388 00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:01,290 WHAT... WHAT A SURPRISE TO SEE YOU HERE. 389 00:16:01,291 --> 00:16:04,343 YEAH, I KNOW. WHY WOULD I BE IN MY OWN HOUSE?! 390 00:16:04,344 --> 00:16:07,847 YOU MUST BE EMERSON. NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU IN PERSON. 391 00:16:10,140 --> 00:16:12,551 YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND LIVES UNDER YOUR HOUSE? 392 00:16:12,552 --> 00:16:14,683 LIKE A RACCOON? 393 00:16:14,684 --> 00:16:17,556 YEAH, ZANDER, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY BASEMENT? 394 00:16:17,557 --> 00:16:18,898 AT THE MOMENT, MY WHITES. 395 00:16:20,060 --> 00:16:21,650 OKAY. EMERSON, SWEETIE, 396 00:16:21,651 --> 00:16:24,563 COULD YOU JUST GIVE US A MINUTE WHILE I HANDLE THIS? 397 00:16:24,564 --> 00:16:26,775 WHATEVER YOU NEED. 398 00:16:26,776 --> 00:16:27,777 WOW. 399 00:16:28,948 --> 00:16:30,110 ( scoffs ) RUDE. 400 00:16:32,872 --> 00:16:35,704 - OKAY, ZANDER, THIS IS BIG-TIME CRAZY. - ( door closes ) 401 00:16:35,705 --> 00:16:38,247 OKAY, COMING BACK HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU, OKAY? 402 00:16:38,248 --> 00:16:40,579 I JUST... I GOT BOOTED OUT OF SCHOOL FOR MISSING MY EXAMS, 403 00:16:40,580 --> 00:16:43,082 AND IF MY DAD FINDS OUT, HE WILL LITERALLY KILL ME. 404 00:16:43,083 --> 00:16:44,673 WELL, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO TELL HIM EVENTUALLY. 405 00:16:44,674 --> 00:16:47,426 - YOU CAN'T HIDE HERE FOREVER. - ( scoffs ) NOT FOREVER. 406 00:16:47,427 --> 00:16:48,968 LIKE FOUR MORE YEARS. 407 00:16:50,550 --> 00:16:51,890 OH, COME ON, ZANDER. 408 00:16:51,891 --> 00:16:53,682 LOOK, YOUR PARENTS NEED TO KNOW. 409 00:16:53,683 --> 00:16:57,056 AND MAYBE YOU CAN FIGURE SOMETHING OUT AND BY NEXT SEMESTER 410 00:16:57,057 --> 00:16:59,598 YOU CAN START FRESH. 411 00:16:59,599 --> 00:17:01,520 - YOU REALLY THINK SO? - IT'S WORTH A SHOT. 412 00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:02,902 - OH, THANKS, LEN. - MM-HMM. 413 00:17:04,354 --> 00:17:05,854 OH, I HAVE THOSE SAME BOXERS. 414 00:17:05,855 --> 00:17:07,486 WAIT, ARE YOU WEARING MY BOXERS? 415 00:17:07,487 --> 00:17:10,649 RYDER DID THE LAUNDRY AND HE GOT EVERYTHING MIXED UP. 416 00:17:10,650 --> 00:17:12,701 - I'LL JUST GIVE 'EM BACK. - YOU KNOW WHAT? 417 00:17:12,702 --> 00:17:13,913 KEEP 'EM. 418 00:17:18,078 --> 00:17:20,659 ( Japanese music playing ) 419 00:17:20,660 --> 00:17:22,831 ( men shout ) 420 00:17:22,832 --> 00:17:25,003 HOW YOU DOING? LONGO, PARTY OF FOUR. 421 00:17:25,004 --> 00:17:26,255 WE'RE ACTUALLY MEETING ANOTHER COUPLE HERE. 422 00:17:26,256 --> 00:17:28,507 AH. YES, THEY WERE ALREADY HERE 423 00:17:28,508 --> 00:17:31,470 - AND THEY LEFT YOU A NOTE. - OH, CAN I SEE THAT? 424 00:17:31,471 --> 00:17:34,012 THEY TIPPED ME RATHER WELL TO READ IT, 425 00:17:34,013 --> 00:17:37,137 SO COULD YOU JUST LET ME DO MY SPIEL? 426 00:17:38,388 --> 00:17:41,019 "DEAR MEL AND JOE, NO THANKS TO YOU, 427 00:17:41,020 --> 00:17:43,272 WE WERE ABLE TO WORK OUT OUR DIFFERENCES. 428 00:17:43,273 --> 00:17:45,063 WE THOUGHT WE COULD TRUST YOU, 429 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:48,687 BUT CLEARLY YOU'RE NOT THE TYPE OF PEOPLE WHO CAN KEEP SECRETS." 430 00:17:48,688 --> 00:17:50,028 OKAY, WELL, THAT'S AN UNFAIR ACCUSATION. 431 00:17:50,029 --> 00:17:52,571 ABSOLUTELY. I MEAN, WE HAD THE BEST OF INTENTIONS. 432 00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:54,783 EXCUSE ME. I AM NOT FINISHED. 433 00:17:54,784 --> 00:17:57,287 YOU MADE ME LOSE MY PLACE. 434 00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:00,289 "BUT CLEARLY YOU'RE NOT THE TYPE OF PEOPLE 435 00:18:00,290 --> 00:18:03,702 WHO CAN KEEP SECRETS. OR ARE YOU? 436 00:18:03,703 --> 00:18:07,045 HERE ARE TWO SEALED ENVELOPES. 437 00:18:07,046 --> 00:18:09,468 IN THE BLUE ENVELOPE IS A SECRET 438 00:18:09,469 --> 00:18:11,670 THAT JOE SHARED WITH NATE ABOUT MEL. 439 00:18:11,671 --> 00:18:15,714 IN THE PINK ENVELOPE IS A SECRET THAT MEL SHARED WITH GILLIAN ABOUT JOE. 440 00:18:15,715 --> 00:18:17,636 WE KEPT THE SECRETS. 441 00:18:17,637 --> 00:18:20,929 THE QUESTION IS, WILL YOU?" 442 00:18:20,930 --> 00:18:22,721 ENJOY YOUR MEAL. 443 00:18:22,722 --> 00:18:25,684 OKAY, WELL, THAT'S AN OBVIOUS MANIPULATION. 444 00:18:25,685 --> 00:18:27,276 THEY'RE CLEARLY JUST TRYING TO GET US TO FIGHT. 445 00:18:27,277 --> 00:18:28,857 YEAH, THEY'RE JUST TRYING TO GET IN OUR HEADS. 446 00:18:28,858 --> 00:18:30,489 - NOT GONNA HAPPEN. - MM-MM. 447 00:18:30,490 --> 00:18:32,652 SO WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU TELL NATE? 448 00:18:33,823 --> 00:18:36,325 I DON'T KNOW, HONEY. I TOLD HIM SOME STUFF. 449 00:18:36,326 --> 00:18:38,867 WHAT, THERE'S JUST SO MUCH THAT YOU CAN'T NARROW IT DOWN? 450 00:18:38,868 --> 00:18:40,699 NO. YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP, 451 00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:42,291 - YOU VENT SOMETIMES. - THAT'S TRUE. THAT'S TRUE. 452 00:18:42,292 --> 00:18:44,663 VENTING IS HEALTHY. IF MEN AND WOMEN TOLD EACH OTHER 453 00:18:44,664 --> 00:18:46,505 EVERY THOUGHT THEY HAD, 454 00:18:46,506 --> 00:18:49,548 THE HUMAN RACE WOULD DIE OFF IN ABOUT AND HOUR AND A HALF. 455 00:18:49,549 --> 00:18:52,301 LOOK, WE HAVE TO BE TOTALLY OPEN AND HONEST WITH EACH OTHER. 456 00:18:52,302 --> 00:18:55,053 BUT HOW DO WE KNOW WHAT TO TELL AND WHAT NOT TO TELL? 457 00:18:55,054 --> 00:18:56,845 THIS GOES BEYOND THE COUPLES' CODE. 458 00:18:56,846 --> 00:18:58,717 WE NEED, LIKE. A MEL AND JOE CODE. 459 00:18:58,718 --> 00:19:00,849 I LIKE THAT. ALL RIGHT. LET'S DO IT. 460 00:19:00,850 --> 00:19:02,471 ALWAYS TELL EACH OTHER EVERYTHING... 461 00:19:02,472 --> 00:19:04,643 ( inhales sharply ) EXCEPT WHEN WE SHOULDN'T. 462 00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:07,105 - OKAY, WE'LL KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BY...? - TRIAL AND ERROR. 463 00:19:07,106 --> 00:19:09,528 MOSTLY BY ERROR I SUSPECT. 464 00:19:09,529 --> 00:19:11,730 SO... ( sighs ) WHAT DO WE DO WITH THESE? 465 00:19:11,731 --> 00:19:13,692 THESE? HONEY, THESE ARE TOXIC MATERIAL. 466 00:19:13,693 --> 00:19:15,774 I SAY WE HAVE TO DESTROY THESE THINGS IMMEDIATELY. 467 00:19:15,775 --> 00:19:17,616 ABSOLUTELY... AFTER WE READ THEM. 468 00:19:17,617 --> 00:19:19,408 HONEY. REALLY. 469 00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:22,041 OKAY? THERE WE GO. THERE WE GO. 470 00:19:23,833 --> 00:19:25,705 BYE-BYE. ( chuckles ) 471 00:19:26,746 --> 00:19:28,377 DON'T YOU FEEL BETTER? 472 00:19:28,378 --> 00:19:30,379 YEAH, SO MUCH LIGHTER. ( laughs ) 473 00:19:30,380 --> 00:19:32,251 YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS EVENING NEEDS A FRESH START. 474 00:19:32,252 --> 00:19:35,003 - I'M GONNA GO ASK FOR A NEW TABLE. - OKAY. 475 00:19:35,004 --> 00:19:36,885 OKAY, WHAT THE HELL DID HE SAY ABOUT ME? 476 00:19:36,886 --> 00:19:40,259 LET'S SEE. "BIG." 477 00:19:40,260 --> 00:19:42,010 BIG... BIG... BIG WHAT? 478 00:19:42,011 --> 00:19:43,061 - MEL. - YEAH? 479 00:19:43,062 --> 00:19:44,102 WE'RE HEADING OVER TO THE SUSHI BAR. 480 00:19:44,103 --> 00:19:45,564 OKAY. 481 00:19:45,565 --> 00:19:47,936 HEY, YOU KNOW, LISTEN, ACCORDING TO THE MEL AND JOE CODE, 482 00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:49,228 THERE IS SOMETHING I HAVE TO TELL YOU. 483 00:19:49,229 --> 00:19:50,729 WHAT? 484 00:19:50,730 --> 00:19:53,362 NO MATTER WHAT IT SAID IN THOSE ENVELOPES... 485 00:19:53,363 --> 00:19:57,526 - I LOVE YOU. - AWW, I LOVE YOU TOO. 486 00:19:57,527 --> 00:19:58,947 HEY, JOE, TELL ME... 487 00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:00,949 WHAT'S "BIG"? 488 00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:02,701 - YOU LOOKED? - YEAH, I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF. 489 00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:05,033 SO WHAT'S BIG? 490 00:20:05,034 --> 00:20:08,587 - LET IT GO, MEL. - BIG HAIR, BIG SMILE? 491 00:20:08,588 --> 00:20:11,129 - BIG... BIG... BIG TIPPER? - I'M NOT... I'M NOT PLAYING THAT GAME, HONEY. 492 00:20:11,130 --> 00:20:12,631 I KNOW, IT'S BIG BRAIN, ISN'T IT? 493 00:20:12,632 --> 00:20:15,715 YES, YES, IT IS. YOU GUESSED IT. IT'S BIG BRAIN. 494 00:20:17,677 --> 00:20:19,217 - LENNOX. - ( screams ) 495 00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:21,890 WOULD YOU STOP HIDING OUT IN PLACES AROUND MY HOUSE? 496 00:20:21,891 --> 00:20:24,182 I'M SORRY. I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU I CAME CLEAN TO MY DAD LIKE YOU SAID... 497 00:20:24,183 --> 00:20:26,395 AND I WASHED YOUR BOXERS. 498 00:20:26,396 --> 00:20:29,348 - HERE YOU GO. - SO, HOW'D YOUR DAD TAKE IT? 499 00:20:29,349 --> 00:20:32,611 AMAZINGLY. YEAH, HE DIDN'T FREAK OUT AT ALL WHEN I TOLD HIM MY NEW PLAN. 500 00:20:32,612 --> 00:20:34,653 I'M GONNA TAKE SOME CLASSES AT THE UNIVERSITY OF TOLEDO. 501 00:20:34,654 --> 00:20:37,566 MY UNIVERSITY OF TOLEDO? 502 00:20:37,567 --> 00:20:40,619 TO BE FAIR, IT'S TOLEDO'S UNIVERSITY OF TOLEDO. 503 00:20:40,620 --> 00:20:42,240 SO WHAT CLASSES ARE YOU TAKING? 504 00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,783 PSYCHOLOGY, MEDIEVAL ART HISTORY, 505 00:20:44,784 --> 00:20:47,165 ( mumbles ) AND GERMAN EXPRESSIONIST FILM. 506 00:20:47,166 --> 00:20:50,629 HOLD ON, YOU CAN'T TAKE THAT CLASS. I'M TAKING THAT CLASS. 507 00:20:50,630 --> 00:20:52,541 IT'S NOT MY FAULT. IT'S NOT LIKE I DID IT ON PURPOSE. 508 00:20:52,542 --> 00:20:54,082 THERE WASN'T A WHOLE LOT AVAILABLE. 509 00:20:54,083 --> 00:20:56,295 EVERYTHING ELSE WAS AT 8:00 A.M. 510 00:20:56,296 --> 00:20:57,877 I'M AN ARTIST. LET'S GET REAL. 511 00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:00,839 ALL RIGHT, FINE, BUT REMEMBER, 512 00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:02,511 - I DO HAVE A BOYFRIEND. - YEAH, I KNOW. 513 00:21:02,512 --> 00:21:04,473 I GET IT. WE'RE NOT GETTING BACK TOGETHER. 514 00:21:04,474 --> 00:21:06,144 I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND. I'M NOT TRYING 515 00:21:06,145 --> 00:21:07,686 TO WORM MY WAY BACK INTO YOUR LIFE. 516 00:21:07,687 --> 00:21:10,480 - AND I APPRECIATE THAT. - MMM. 517 00:21:14,103 --> 00:21:15,695 I WILL WIN YOU BACK. 518 00:21:17,357 --> 00:21:18,657 DID YOU SAY SOMETHING? 519 00:21:18,658 --> 00:21:20,739 WHAT? ME? NO. ( mumbles ) 520 00:21:20,740 --> 00:21:22,951 - OH. OKAY THEN. - OKAY. 521 00:21:22,952 --> 00:21:23,703 - BYE. - BYE.