1 00:00:07,758 --> 00:00:09,629 "MELISSA AND JOEY" IS RECORDED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE. 2 00:00:09,630 --> 00:00:13,513 OKAY, GUYS, LET'S SEE WHICH ONE OF YOU CAN SPOT WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS. 3 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:16,516 IT'S FINE, RIGHT? 4 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:19,599 - I DON'T... I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S FINE, DUDE. - REALLY... SO... BUT... 5 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:20,900 OH, COME ON, IT'S A SCHOOL DANCE. 6 00:00:20,901 --> 00:00:23,022 YOU DON'T WANT LONG SLEEVES AND CUFFS TRIPPING YOU UP. 7 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:26,647 BESIDES, PEOPLE ARE GONNA BE WATCHING MY MOVES. 8 00:00:27,858 --> 00:00:30,070 YEAH, SO THEY KNOW WHAT NOT TO DO. 9 00:00:30,071 --> 00:00:34,244 YO, I'M... I'M GONNA SAY THIS TO YOU AS CONSTRUCTIVELY AS I CAN. 10 00:00:34,245 --> 00:00:36,576 YOU LOOK LIKE AN ORGAN-GRINDER'S MONKEY, MAN. 11 00:00:36,577 --> 00:00:38,828 OKAY, LOOK, HERE'S THE THING... 12 00:00:38,829 --> 00:00:41,961 - YOU AND I ARE GONNA GO... - NO. PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME GO SHOPPING WITH YOU. 13 00:00:41,962 --> 00:00:45,004 - WELL, I WON'T TELL ANYONE I'M YOUR AUNT. - THEY'LL KNOW, OKAY? 14 00:00:45,005 --> 00:00:46,427 ( softly ) THEY'LL KNOW. 15 00:00:47,878 --> 00:00:49,669 RYDER, YOU WANT TO GO TO THE DANCE RIGHT? 16 00:00:49,670 --> 00:00:51,171 YOU WANT YOUR GIRL TO THINK YOU LOOK HOT, RIGHT? 17 00:00:51,172 --> 00:00:53,433 - YEAH. - WHAT YOU'RE WEARING RIGHT NOW, THAT IS... 18 00:00:53,434 --> 00:00:55,635 THAT IS A GIRL REPELLANT. 19 00:00:55,636 --> 00:00:58,179 YEAH, AND YOU'VE ALREADY KIND OF GOT THAT NATURALLY. 20 00:00:59,270 --> 00:01:00,890 OKAY. OKAY, FINE. 21 00:01:00,891 --> 00:01:02,682 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL GET A SUIT. 22 00:01:02,683 --> 00:01:04,984 BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, STELLA STILL NEEDS A SITTER FOR THE BABY 23 00:01:04,985 --> 00:01:06,856 AND THE DANCE IS THIS SATURDAY, SO... 24 00:01:06,857 --> 00:01:08,568 OH. WELL, I'M HAPPY TO... 25 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,360 HELP YOU FIND SOMEONE. 26 00:01:10,361 --> 00:01:12,031 - LENNOX, YOU DO IT. - NO WAY. 27 00:01:12,032 --> 00:01:13,953 - I'LL PAY YOU A HUNDRED DOLLARS. - SOLD. 28 00:01:13,954 --> 00:01:16,746 FOR ONE NIGHT?! THAT'S MORE THAN I GOT PAID WHEN I WAS WORKING HERE! 29 00:01:16,747 --> 00:01:18,868 WELL, SHE'S A BETTER NEGOTIATOR. 30 00:01:18,869 --> 00:01:20,660 OKAY, GREAT, SO IT'S FIGURED OUT. 31 00:01:20,661 --> 00:01:22,962 - LENNOX IS BABYSITTING. - EXCEPT I DON'T DO PEEK-A-BOO, 32 00:01:22,963 --> 00:01:24,874 FUNNY FACES OR TUMMY FARTS, 33 00:01:24,875 --> 00:01:26,466 'CAUSE YOU KNOW, THAT'S JUST DEGRADING. 34 00:01:26,467 --> 00:01:28,968 YOU'RE GONNA MAKE A GREAT MOM. 35 00:01:28,969 --> 00:01:30,510 NOT FOR YEARS AND YEARS. 36 00:01:30,511 --> 00:01:32,672 ( chuckles ) I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT. 37 00:01:32,673 --> 00:01:34,714 SO, JOE, I WAS THINKING... 38 00:01:34,715 --> 00:01:37,016 SATURDAY NIGHT, RYDER HAS HIS DANCE, 39 00:01:37,017 --> 00:01:38,718 AND LENNOX IS GONNA BE BABYSITTING ISABEL. 40 00:01:38,719 --> 00:01:41,931 I THOUGHT MAYBE THE TWO OF US COULD GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. 41 00:01:41,932 --> 00:01:43,893 - OOH! MAYBE A LITTLE DRESS-UP, HUH? - MMM. 42 00:01:43,894 --> 00:01:46,776 - WE GO DANCING A LITTLE BIT? - YEAH, AND I KNOW JUST THE PLACE. 43 00:01:46,777 --> 00:01:49,440 - YEAH? - ( sweetly ) RYDER'S HIGH SCHOOL GYMNASIUM. 44 00:01:50,731 --> 00:01:51,731 I'M SORRY. WHAT DID YOU SAY? 45 00:01:51,732 --> 00:01:53,323 YEAH, THEY NEEDED CHAPERONES, 46 00:01:53,324 --> 00:01:55,655 - AND I VOLUNTEERED. - ( snorts ) THAT'S AWESOME. 47 00:01:55,656 --> 00:01:57,036 - YEAH. - YOU CHAPERONING. 48 00:01:57,037 --> 00:02:00,331 NO NO NO. WE'RE CHAPERONING. ( clicks tongue ) 49 00:02:01,792 --> 00:02:03,082 ( theme music playing ) 50 00:02:03,083 --> 00:02:04,954 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD ♪ - ♪ All good ♪ 51 00:02:04,955 --> 00:02:06,836 - ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪ - ♪ Okay ♪ 52 00:02:06,837 --> 00:02:08,298 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT ♪ - ♪ All right ♪ 53 00:02:08,299 --> 00:02:10,210 ♪ AS FAR AS I CAN SEE ♪ 54 00:02:10,211 --> 00:02:11,881 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD ♪ - ♪ All good ♪ 55 00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:13,553 - ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪ - ♪ Okay ♪ 56 00:02:13,554 --> 00:02:15,465 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT ♪ - ♪ All right ♪ 57 00:02:15,466 --> 00:02:18,218 ♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK ♪ 58 00:02:18,219 --> 00:02:20,601 ♪ WITH ME ♪ 59 00:02:22,683 --> 00:02:26,266 HEY. MEL, I-I... I DON'T WANNA CHAPERONE SOME LAME HIGH SCHOOL DANCE. 60 00:02:26,267 --> 00:02:28,398 WELL, IT WON'T BE LAME IF WE'RE THERE 61 00:02:28,399 --> 00:02:31,030 GETTING ALL FUNKY AND CRUNKY 62 00:02:31,031 --> 00:02:34,234 AND MAKING SURE THE KIDS DON'T GET DRUNKY. 63 00:02:34,235 --> 00:02:36,035 KEEPING A BUNCH OF PIMPLY 17-YEAR-OLD KIDS 64 00:02:36,036 --> 00:02:37,777 FROM GROPING EACH OTHER ALL NIGHT IS LIKE TORTURE. 65 00:02:37,778 --> 00:02:42,372 IT'S LIKE WATERBOARDING SET TO... DUBSTEP. 66 00:02:42,373 --> 00:02:44,744 ALL RIGHT, HERE'S THE DEAL: EVERY HOUSEHOLD HAS TO VOLUNTEER 67 00:02:44,745 --> 00:02:46,586 A CERTAIN NUMBER OF HOURS, AND I'VE KINDA 68 00:02:46,587 --> 00:02:48,958 NOT BEEN DOING THAT FOR THE LAST FEW... EVER. 69 00:02:48,959 --> 00:02:50,840 I SEE, SO NOW YOU'RE FEELING REMORSEFUL. 70 00:02:50,841 --> 00:02:53,923 NO. THE SCHOOL STARTED A NEW POLICY, 71 00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:55,755 AND IF YOU DON'T DO YOUR HOURS, 72 00:02:55,756 --> 00:02:57,507 THEY POST YOUR PHOTO ON THEIR WEB SITE, 73 00:02:57,508 --> 00:02:59,259 "MEET THE DEADBEAT PARENTS." 74 00:02:59,260 --> 00:03:02,762 PUBLIC SHAMING... THE WORLD'S GREATEST MOTIVATOR. 75 00:03:02,763 --> 00:03:04,304 LOOK, THE DANCE IS FROM 8:00 UNTIL MIDNIGHT, 76 00:03:04,305 --> 00:03:06,436 SO WE SAY WE GOT THERE AT 4:00 AND WE LEFT AT 1:00. 77 00:03:06,437 --> 00:03:08,478 THAT'S NINE HOURS EACH. IT'S EXACTLY WHAT I NEED. 78 00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:11,611 OTHERWISE, THEY'RE GONNA POST THIS PHOTO OF ME. 79 00:03:11,612 --> 00:03:13,863 OH MY GOD, HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? 80 00:03:13,864 --> 00:03:15,986 I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF SNEEZING. 81 00:03:17,278 --> 00:03:18,988 COME ON, CHAPERONE WITH ME. 82 00:03:18,989 --> 00:03:21,951 - I'LL OWE YOU ONE. - ONE WHAT? 83 00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:25,204 YOU KNOW... THAT. 84 00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,876 DONE. 85 00:03:26,877 --> 00:03:28,878 - YOU'RE EASY. - HEY, HEY. 86 00:03:28,879 --> 00:03:30,831 ONLY 'CAUSE MY BIRTHDAY'S A LONG WAY OFF. 87 00:03:32,673 --> 00:03:33,884 ( whistle tweets ) 88 00:03:38,299 --> 00:03:40,930 HI. OH, EXCUSE ME. STELLA, STELLA. 89 00:03:40,931 --> 00:03:43,933 - OH! - SORRY. DID YOU... DID YOU GET MY LAST COUPLE OF TEXTS? 90 00:03:43,934 --> 00:03:46,936 UH, YEAH YEAH. I DON'T THINK I READ 'EM. 91 00:03:46,937 --> 00:03:49,188 OH. OKAY. WELL, SPOILER ALERT: 92 00:03:49,189 --> 00:03:51,060 LENNOX CAN BABYSIT THE NIGHT OF THE DANCE, 93 00:03:51,061 --> 00:03:54,314 SO YOUR DAUGHTER WILL BE IN RELATIVELY GOOD HANDS. 94 00:03:54,315 --> 00:03:56,696 ( flatly ) GREAT. I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. UH-HUH. 95 00:03:56,697 --> 00:03:57,987 - GREAT. THIS WILL BE GREAT. - YEAH. 96 00:03:57,988 --> 00:03:59,238 HEY, I GOT A NEW SUIT FOR YOU, 97 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,281 SO I'M GONNA BE LOOKING VERY JAY-Z. 98 00:04:01,282 --> 00:04:04,325 AND I'M TALKING TO YOUR BUTT. 99 00:04:07,167 --> 00:04:09,459 SHE TELLS ME SHE NEEDS A SITTER, SO I FIND HER ONE. 100 00:04:09,460 --> 00:04:11,210 THEN I TELL HER THAT I'M GETTING A NEW SUIT FOR THE DANCE, 101 00:04:11,211 --> 00:04:12,922 AND SHE DOESN'T EVEN CARE. IT'S LIKE... 102 00:04:12,923 --> 00:04:15,505 I DON'T KNOW. IT'S LIKE EVERYTHING I SAY PUTS HER IN A BAD MOOD. 103 00:04:15,506 --> 00:04:18,838 WHY DON'T YOU STOP... SAYING STUFF? 104 00:04:18,839 --> 00:04:20,840 AND SHE NEVER RESPONDS TO MY TEXTS. 105 00:04:20,841 --> 00:04:22,802 SHE LITERALLY RUNS AWAY WHEN I'M TALKING TO HER. 106 00:04:22,803 --> 00:04:25,144 IT'S LIKE... I DON'T KNOW. 107 00:04:25,145 --> 00:04:27,147 I STILL LIKE HER, BUT... 108 00:04:28,649 --> 00:04:31,601 I DON'T THINK SHE LIKES ME ANYMORE. 109 00:04:31,602 --> 00:04:33,733 HEY, MAN, IF SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU ANYMORE, MAYBE... 110 00:04:33,734 --> 00:04:35,856 - MAYBE IT'S OVER. - OVER? 111 00:04:37,488 --> 00:04:38,988 SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND. 112 00:04:38,989 --> 00:04:41,451 I MEAN, I REALLY CARE ABOUT HER. 113 00:04:41,452 --> 00:04:42,532 SHE'S MY STELLA BELLA 114 00:04:42,533 --> 00:04:44,785 AND I'M HER STELLA FELLA. 115 00:04:46,327 --> 00:04:47,957 LISTEN, MAN. ( chuckles ) 116 00:04:47,958 --> 00:04:49,959 YOU KNOW, STAYING IN A MISERABLE RELATIONSHIP 117 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:51,711 AND JUST SLOGGING THROUGH IT IS... 118 00:04:51,712 --> 00:04:54,083 THERE'S PLENTY OF TIME FOR THAT WHEN YOU GET MARRIED. 119 00:04:54,084 --> 00:04:57,337 I MEAN, IF YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT HER, MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST BREAK UP WITH HER. 120 00:04:57,338 --> 00:05:00,299 - DOESN'T THAT MAKE ME THE JERK? - NO NO, YOU'D ACTUALLY BE DOING HER A FAVOR. 121 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,841 COME ON, THAT'S WHAT'S SO GREAT ABOUT BEING 122 00:05:01,842 --> 00:05:03,683 IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP WHEN YOU'RE IN HIGH SCHOOL... 123 00:05:03,684 --> 00:05:05,976 YOU GET TO BREAK UP WITH THE PERSON WITHOUT LOSING YOUR HOUSE. 124 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:11,020 YOU GOTTA... YOU GOTTA CHERISH THIS TIME. 125 00:05:11,021 --> 00:05:12,852 OKAY, WHAT WOULD I SAY? 126 00:05:12,853 --> 00:05:14,894 OH, I CAN GIVE YOU THE WORDS FOR THAT. 127 00:05:14,895 --> 00:05:16,397 YOU'VE GOTTA START OFF BY SAYING... 128 00:05:17,988 --> 00:05:19,610 "NO ONE IS TO BLAME HERE. 129 00:05:20,611 --> 00:05:22,032 ALL RIGHT? WHAT WE HAD... 130 00:05:23,203 --> 00:05:24,494 HONEY, IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. 131 00:05:24,495 --> 00:05:26,285 OKAY? BUT LIKE... 132 00:05:26,286 --> 00:05:28,077 LIKE A FLOWER, 133 00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:29,660 IT BLOOMED... 134 00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:34,084 AND THEN IT DIED." 135 00:05:35,916 --> 00:05:37,507 WOW. 136 00:05:37,508 --> 00:05:39,799 - I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOOD AT MAKING EGGS. - MMM. 137 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:43,092 ( chuckles ) YOU KNOW, I SHOULD REALLY BE WRITING THIS DOWN. 138 00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:45,425 ABSOLUTELY. YOU DON'T WANNA MISS OUT ON ONE NUGGET OF THAT GOLD. 139 00:05:45,426 --> 00:05:46,597 ( clears throat ) 140 00:05:49,309 --> 00:05:52,682 HELLO THERE, LADIES. HEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS, HUH? 141 00:05:52,683 --> 00:05:54,814 DO YOU LIKE THAT CHAPERONE OUTFIT THERE? DOES THAT SAY FUN KILLER OR WHAT? 142 00:05:54,815 --> 00:05:56,566 MMM, SUPER HOT FUN KILLER. 143 00:05:56,567 --> 00:05:57,857 - ( clicks tongue ) - MMM. 144 00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:01,070 WHOA, WAIT. YOU GUYS ARE CHAPERONING RYDER'S DANCE? 145 00:06:01,071 --> 00:06:03,362 - DOES HE KNOW ABOUT THIS? - NO. 146 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:06,155 WHAT? DUDE, YOU'D BETTER TELL HIM, GIVE HIM TIME TO PREPARE. 147 00:06:06,156 --> 00:06:08,908 HIS POPULARITY IS MARGINAL AS IT IS. 148 00:06:08,909 --> 00:06:10,450 I DON'T THINK IT'S GONNA MATTER THAT MUCH. 149 00:06:10,451 --> 00:06:11,751 RYDER'S NOT GONNA BE GOING TO THAT DANCE. 150 00:06:11,752 --> 00:06:13,162 HE'S HAVING SOME SERIOUS PROBLEMS WITH HIS GIRL, 151 00:06:13,163 --> 00:06:15,795 SO I TOLD HIM TO... CUT BAIT. 152 00:06:15,796 --> 00:06:18,458 ( both gasp ) 153 00:06:18,459 --> 00:06:21,501 WHAT? NO NO, I-I... I DIDN'T SAY IT LIKE THAT. 154 00:06:21,502 --> 00:06:25,925 - I'M A VERY SENSITIVE GUY. - NO, YOU'RE NOT. 155 00:06:25,926 --> 00:06:28,217 YES, I AM. I GAVE HIM SOME VERY THOUGHTFUL PHRASES... 156 00:06:28,218 --> 00:06:30,430 TIME-TESTED BY ME... THAT RIGHT NOW HE IS UPSTAIRS 157 00:06:30,431 --> 00:06:32,932 WEAVING INTO A VERY... 158 00:06:32,933 --> 00:06:34,393 THOUGHTFUL, CARING BREAK-UP SPEECH, 159 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:35,855 ALL RIGHT? IT'S BEING HANDLED CORRECTLY. 160 00:06:35,856 --> 00:06:38,898 NO, YOU DON'T BREAK UP WITH A GIRL 48 HOURS BEFORE A DANCE! 161 00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:40,730 YEAH, I MEAN, SHE ALREADY BOUGHT HER DRESS... 162 00:06:40,731 --> 00:06:42,231 AND SHOES, AND NO DOUBT SHE'S PLANNED HER HAIR... 163 00:06:42,232 --> 00:06:44,944 AND MAKE-UP. I MEAN, THIS IS A HUGE DATING TABOO. 164 00:06:44,945 --> 00:06:48,739 WOMEN TALK... AND HOLD GRUDGES. TRUST ME. 165 00:06:49,870 --> 00:06:52,331 HEY, JOE, I FINISHED THAT BREAK-UP SPEECH. 166 00:06:52,332 --> 00:06:54,333 - WANNA TAKE A LOOK? - NO NO, IT'S... IT'S... 167 00:06:54,334 --> 00:06:56,707 "WHAT WE HAD WAS LIKE A DEAD FLOWER. 168 00:06:57,878 --> 00:07:01,001 IT BLOOMED AND THEN IT DIED, LIKE A ROCK." 169 00:07:02,252 --> 00:07:03,713 THIS GUY. ( chuckles ) 170 00:07:03,714 --> 00:07:05,925 THE KING OF BREAK-UP ADVICE. 171 00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:08,718 - RYDER, STOP. ( chuckles ) - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I'M JUST TELLING IT... 172 00:07:08,719 --> 00:07:10,180 NO NO, SERIOUSLY, DUDE, STOP. 173 00:07:14,975 --> 00:07:18,898 SO LOOK, MAN, WHEN I TOLD YOU TO BREAK UP WITH STELLA, 174 00:07:18,899 --> 00:07:21,941 WHAT I FORGOT TO MENTION WAS THAT THERE WERE CERTAIN BLACKOUT DATES 175 00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:25,274 WHEN BREAK-UPS ARE NOT PERMITTED, OKAY? LIKE... 176 00:07:25,275 --> 00:07:26,526 - VALENTINE'S DAY. - A GIRL'S BIRTHDAY. 177 00:07:26,527 --> 00:07:28,327 - NEW YEAR'S EVE. - OH, THAT'S A GOOD ONE, 178 00:07:28,328 --> 00:07:29,699 BECAUSE YOU DEFINITELY WANT TO HAVE SOMEONE TO KISS AT MIDNIGHT. 179 00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:32,031 OH, OR HALLOWEEN IF YOU'RE DOING A COUPLES COSTUME. 180 00:07:32,032 --> 00:07:33,994 YEAH, 'CAUSE YOU CAN'T HAVE GREEN EGGS WITHOUT HAM. 181 00:07:35,285 --> 00:07:36,376 ARE WE DONE, KIM AND KHLOE? 182 00:07:38,418 --> 00:07:40,129 OR BACK TO MY POINT, 183 00:07:40,130 --> 00:07:42,341 TWO DAYS BEFORE A VERY IMPORTANT DANCE. 184 00:07:42,342 --> 00:07:45,004 SO... YOU'RE TELLING ME TO HOLD OFF. 185 00:07:45,005 --> 00:07:48,758 AGAINST MY BETTER JUDGMENT, YES. 186 00:07:48,759 --> 00:07:50,930 BUT WON'T IT BE LIKE I'M LEADING HER ON 187 00:07:50,931 --> 00:07:53,973 IF I TAKE HER TO THE DANCE, WHEN I'M REALLY JUST GONNA BREAK UP WITH HER LATER? 188 00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:56,976 WH... YEAH, MEL, WON'T IT? 189 00:07:56,977 --> 00:08:00,149 OKAY, LET ME EXPLAIN THIS TO YOUR BOTH 190 00:08:00,150 --> 00:08:01,521 SO THAT YOU UNDERSTAND. 191 00:08:01,522 --> 00:08:03,272 SHE HAS A DRESS, YOU'RE GOING TO THE DANCE. 192 00:08:03,273 --> 00:08:05,234 CASE CLOSED. OH, AND BY THE WAY, 193 00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:06,445 JOE AND I ARE CHAPERONING. 194 00:08:06,446 --> 00:08:08,778 OKAY, WELL, THIS JUST GETS BETTER AND BETTER. 195 00:08:08,779 --> 00:08:10,991 - YOU'LL THANK ME SOMEDAY. - YEAH, I DON'T THINK I WILL. 196 00:08:13,614 --> 00:08:16,746 SO HERE'S A SECOND PAIR OF PANTS IN CASE SHE NEEDS IT, 197 00:08:16,747 --> 00:08:18,538 WHY? WE'RE NOT GOING OUT. 198 00:08:18,539 --> 00:08:21,791 YEAH, BUT SOME STUFF INSIDE HER MIGHT. 199 00:08:21,792 --> 00:08:24,253 - EWW. ( scoffs ) - HEY, STELLA, 200 00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:25,965 DID I TELL YOU HOW NICE YOUR DRESS LOOKS? 201 00:08:25,966 --> 00:08:29,218 UH-HUH. ANYWAY, SO THERE'S PUREED BANANAS, 202 00:08:29,219 --> 00:08:30,930 SOME OATMEAL 203 00:08:30,931 --> 00:08:32,972 AND TWO BOTTLES OF BREAST MILK. 204 00:08:32,973 --> 00:08:36,266 - THEY'RE STILL WARM. - YEAH, YOU CAN JUST SET THOSE ON THE TABLE. 205 00:08:37,477 --> 00:08:38,598 SO IF I HAVE TO PICK HER UP, 206 00:08:38,599 --> 00:08:41,310 ARE THERE GLOVES OR TONGS OR SOMETHING? 207 00:08:41,311 --> 00:08:43,142 ( scoffs ) DON'T WORRY, OKAY? 208 00:08:43,143 --> 00:08:45,905 IF SHE GETS FUSSY, TURN ON THE TWINKLE LIGHT. 209 00:08:45,906 --> 00:08:48,858 SHE LOVES THEM. SO PRESS THIS BUTTON FOR LIGHTS ONLY, 210 00:08:48,859 --> 00:08:50,409 PRESS THIS ONE FOR MUSIC ONLY 211 00:08:50,410 --> 00:08:53,072 AND HOLD THEM BOTH DOWN FOR LIGHTS AND MUSIC. 212 00:08:53,073 --> 00:08:54,825 IS THERE A TECH SUPPORT NUMBER? 213 00:08:56,326 --> 00:08:58,537 STELL, DON'T YOU LOOK ADORABLE IN YOUR DRESS? 214 00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,830 IF THERE WAS AN "UNWED TEEN MOM" MAGAZINE... 215 00:09:00,831 --> 00:09:02,662 WE WOULD REGRET BRINGING THAT UP. ( chuckles ) 216 00:09:02,663 --> 00:09:04,253 ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO EVERYBODY. 217 00:09:04,254 --> 00:09:07,336 - ALL RIGHT, SHALL WE? - SURE, WHY NOT? 218 00:09:07,337 --> 00:09:09,048 OH, HANG ON A SECOND. 219 00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,549 I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT BABIES, 220 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,632 BUT SHE KINDA FEELS LIKE A BAKED POTATO. 221 00:09:12,633 --> 00:09:15,805 OH NO. I THOUGHT SHE WAS OVER THIS EAR THING. 222 00:09:15,806 --> 00:09:18,517 LOOK, I... I CAN'T LEAVE HER IF SHE'S SICK. 223 00:09:18,518 --> 00:09:20,680 OH, I'M SORRY. 224 00:09:20,681 --> 00:09:22,351 YOU'RE STILL PAYING ME, THOUGH. 225 00:09:22,352 --> 00:09:24,393 - WHAT? - WELL, THIS WAS HARD. 226 00:09:24,394 --> 00:09:26,315 I ALMOST TOUCHED BREAST MILK. 227 00:09:26,316 --> 00:09:28,778 - AND I ALMOST CARE. - GOSH, YOU KNOW, 228 00:09:28,779 --> 00:09:30,610 I REALLY WISH THERE WAS SOMETHING I COULD DO, 229 00:09:30,611 --> 00:09:33,072 BUT THERE ISN'T, SO, LATER. 230 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:35,324 WAY TO BE A TEAM PLAYER! 231 00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:37,326 WHAT DO WE WANNA DO ABOUT THE DANCE? 232 00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:39,498 WELL, CLEARLY, I'M STUCK WITH THE BABY, 233 00:09:39,499 --> 00:09:42,702 SO YOU GO AND POST SOME PICTURES OF YOURSELF HAVING FUN. 234 00:09:42,703 --> 00:09:45,164 OKAY, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT. 235 00:09:45,165 --> 00:09:48,337 ( mutters ) YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE. 236 00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:51,050 YOU KNOW WHAT, STELLA? I JUST HAD A GREAT IDEA, ALL BY MYSELF. 237 00:09:51,051 --> 00:09:53,172 I THINK I SHOULD STAY HERE. 238 00:09:53,173 --> 00:09:54,553 I'M GONNA STAY HERE WITH YOU. 239 00:09:54,554 --> 00:09:56,556 RYDER, THAT IS SO THOUGHTFUL OF YOU. 240 00:09:58,518 --> 00:10:00,930 ( whispers ) HEY, YOU GONNA BE ALL RIGHT, MAN? 241 00:10:00,931 --> 00:10:03,022 ( whispers ) SICK BABY AND A GIRLFRIEND WHO HATES ME? 242 00:10:03,023 --> 00:10:04,725 PAR-TAY. 243 00:10:06,486 --> 00:10:09,148 ( dance music playing ) 244 00:10:09,149 --> 00:10:11,110 NO DRUGS, NO ALCOHOL, NO SEX, 245 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:14,113 NONE OF THOSE TWERKING MOVES WITH THEIR BUTTS. 246 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:17,446 YOU KNOW, WE WERE BOTH HERE AT 4:00, MAYBE EVEN 3:00. 247 00:10:17,447 --> 00:10:18,738 - ACTUALLY, I THINK IT WAS CLOSER TO 3:00. - YEAH. 248 00:10:18,739 --> 00:10:21,120 WE ACTUALLY HELPED THE GUY OPEN UP THE GYM. 249 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,832 I LIKE IT. YOU'RE HUNGRY. 250 00:10:22,833 --> 00:10:25,915 WELL, IF YOU NEED TO REACH ME, HERE ARE YOUR WALKIE-TALKIES. 251 00:10:25,916 --> 00:10:28,007 WE GET WALKIE-TALKIES? I LOVE WALKIE-TALKIES. 252 00:10:28,008 --> 00:10:29,338 ( chuckles ) ALL RIGHT, LOOK LOOK LOOK, 253 00:10:29,339 --> 00:10:31,130 I'M GONNA BE EAGLE, YOU BE SWAN. 254 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,133 YOU CAN BE EAGLE AND SWAN. 255 00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:35,925 SERIOUSLY? 256 00:10:35,926 --> 00:10:38,307 WELL, I'M GONNA CHECK THE PERIMETER, KEEP THE ENEMY GUESSING. 257 00:10:38,308 --> 00:10:39,558 ENEMY? THEY'RE HIGH SCHOOL KIDS. 258 00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:41,601 THEY ARE ANIMALS WITH BACKPACKS. 259 00:10:44,975 --> 00:10:47,266 YOU KNOW, THEY PROBABLY DON'T EVEN KNOW I'M AN ADULT. 260 00:10:47,267 --> 00:10:49,609 THEY PROBABLY JUST THINK I'M SOME HOT SENIOR TRANSFER. ( clicks tongue ) 261 00:10:53,113 --> 00:10:54,534 YEAH, YOU'RE JUST LIKE "JUMP STREET." 262 00:10:56,616 --> 00:10:59,538 OKAY, YOU SEE THAT? THAT'S BOOZE. 263 00:10:59,539 --> 00:11:01,080 WHAT? THEY'RE DRINKING SODAS. 264 00:11:01,081 --> 00:11:02,491 NO NO NO, SODAS FIZZ WHEN YOU OPEN 'EM UP. 265 00:11:02,492 --> 00:11:04,744 HEY, YOU TWO, FREEZE RIGHT THERE! 266 00:11:04,745 --> 00:11:06,546 LOOK AT 'EM, THEY'RE TERRIFIED. THIS MIGHT ACTUALLY BE FUN. 267 00:11:07,918 --> 00:11:11,340 - OKAY. OKAY, BABY ISABEL. - ( crying ) 268 00:11:11,341 --> 00:11:14,293 LET'S TAKE A TRIP TO SLEEPYTOWN, OKAY? 269 00:11:14,294 --> 00:11:15,504 WE ARE SO POOPED. 270 00:11:15,505 --> 00:11:18,347 EVERYBODY SLEEPS IN SLEEPYTOWN. 271 00:11:18,348 --> 00:11:21,931 OH, THERE'S RIP VAN WINKLE AND, OH, SLEEPING BEAUTY, 272 00:11:21,932 --> 00:11:25,394 - AND MITCH RATCLIFF. HE'S IN MY ENGLISH CLASS. - ( crying stops ) 273 00:11:25,395 --> 00:11:26,936 SITS BEHIND ME, SLEEPS THROUGH EVERY CLASS. 274 00:11:26,937 --> 00:11:28,358 WE SHOOT SPITBALLS AT HIM. 275 00:11:29,479 --> 00:11:31,690 AND... 276 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,312 SHE'S OUT. 277 00:11:33,313 --> 00:11:34,443 ( softly ) HOW DID YOU DO THAT? 278 00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:36,195 I MUST'VE WALKED HER FOR AN HOUR. 279 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:39,158 AH. IT'S A GIFT, REALLY. I CAN PUT ANYONE TO SLEEP. 280 00:11:39,159 --> 00:11:40,319 - ( burps ) - ( gasps ) 281 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:42,451 - OH. - ( laughing ) 282 00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:44,324 - SHE GET ME? - SHE CREAMED YOU. 283 00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:49,588 - OOH! - OH GREAT. 284 00:11:49,589 --> 00:11:52,211 WELL, ONCE UPON A TIME, THIS WAS A NICE NEW SUIT. 285 00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,214 NOW IT'S A BARF BAG WITH POCKETS. 286 00:11:55,675 --> 00:11:59,338 OH. LOOK, I DON'T MEAN TO MAKE FUN OF YOU. 287 00:11:59,339 --> 00:12:01,931 NO NO NO, IT'S OKAY. IT'S REALLY OKAY. 288 00:12:01,932 --> 00:12:03,432 I HAVEN'T... 289 00:12:03,433 --> 00:12:05,474 I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU LAUGH LIKE THAT IN A LONG TIME. 290 00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:08,397 OH, RYDER, I... 291 00:12:08,398 --> 00:12:11,480 I LOVE MY DAUGHTER, BUT THE WORK 292 00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:13,442 IS JUST ENDLESS. AND I WAS HOPING 293 00:12:13,443 --> 00:12:15,404 I'D FINALLY GET ONE NIGHT OF FUN WITH YOU. 294 00:12:15,405 --> 00:12:17,777 - ( scoffs ) - HEY. 295 00:12:17,778 --> 00:12:20,619 HEY, WE COULD STILL HAVE FUN. 296 00:12:20,620 --> 00:12:23,412 WHAT DO THEY HAVE AT THE DANCE THAT WE DON'T HAVE HERE? 297 00:12:23,413 --> 00:12:25,245 NICE LIGHTING... 298 00:12:31,711 --> 00:12:33,542 A LITTLE MUSIC... 299 00:12:33,543 --> 00:12:35,504 ( "This Old Man" playing ) 300 00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:39,678 WHAT? SOME DANCING. 301 00:12:39,679 --> 00:12:41,470 ( both laugh ) 302 00:12:41,471 --> 00:12:45,014 - COME ON, WHAT DO YOU SAY? - WELL, I MEAN, 303 00:12:45,015 --> 00:12:48,057 HOW CAN I SAY NO TO A HOT JAM LIKE THIS? 304 00:12:48,058 --> 00:12:49,980 OKAY. 305 00:12:55,565 --> 00:12:57,567 ( dance music playing ) 306 00:13:02,823 --> 00:13:04,783 HEY, KNOCK IT OFF, WILL YA? 307 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:07,366 - KNOCK IT OFF. - WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THAT? 308 00:13:07,367 --> 00:13:09,869 - THEY WEREN'T DOING ANYTHING INAPPROPRIATE. - THEY WERE DOING THE SUPERMAN. 309 00:13:09,870 --> 00:13:12,001 THAT WAS MORE THAN FIVE YEARS AGO. 310 00:13:12,002 --> 00:13:13,502 THEY WERE HUMILIATING THEMSELVES. 311 00:13:13,503 --> 00:13:15,875 ALL RIGHT, EASE UP, OFFICER LONGO. 312 00:13:15,876 --> 00:13:18,127 - HEY, YOU WANNA DANCE? - MEL, PLEASE. 313 00:13:18,128 --> 00:13:21,220 - I'M ON DUTY HERE. - THERE YOU ARE. 314 00:13:21,221 --> 00:13:23,183 - ( chuckles ) - I JUST SAW, UH... 315 00:13:24,264 --> 00:13:26,225 OH, NO NO, IT'S... IT'S OKAY, MAN. 316 00:13:26,226 --> 00:13:27,977 WE TRUST HER. 317 00:13:27,978 --> 00:13:31,480 OKAY, TWO SENIORS JUST SNUCK INTO THE COACH'S OFFICE. 318 00:13:31,481 --> 00:13:33,482 - THEY HAD SEX IN THEIR EYES. - WAY TO GO, MARVIN. 319 00:13:33,483 --> 00:13:34,984 GOOD JOB, MAN. GOOD JOB. 320 00:13:34,985 --> 00:13:36,435 LOOK, I WANT YOU TO DO ONE MORE PERIMETER SEARCH 321 00:13:36,436 --> 00:13:38,357 AND THEN CHECK THE PARKING LOT. YOU SEE ANYTHING, 322 00:13:38,358 --> 00:13:40,399 YOU CAN REACH ME ON MY WALKIE. 323 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:43,403 - COPY THAT, EAGLE. - WAY TO GO, HAWK. HUH? HAWK. 324 00:13:44,534 --> 00:13:46,495 - YOU HAVE A SNITCH? - I HAVE THREE. 325 00:13:46,496 --> 00:13:48,537 - ( scoffs ) - COME ON, MEL. 326 00:13:48,538 --> 00:13:50,871 LET'S GO CRUSH SOME TEENAGE DREAMS, HUH? COME ON. 327 00:13:55,545 --> 00:13:56,835 - ( sighs ) - WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, 328 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:59,508 - KICK IT IN? - WOULDN'T THAT BE GREAT? 329 00:13:59,509 --> 00:14:01,510 ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S GO TIME. 330 00:14:01,511 --> 00:14:03,342 ( sighs ) 331 00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:04,803 ( mouths ) 332 00:14:04,804 --> 00:14:07,016 ALL RIGHT, CHAPERONES ARE HERE. ON YOUR FEET. 333 00:14:07,017 --> 00:14:09,178 THAT'S RIGHT, GAME'S OVER, EVERYBODY. PUT AWAY THE BATS AND THE BALLS. 334 00:14:09,179 --> 00:14:11,230 NOBODY'S GOING TO BE CROSSING HOME PLATE TONIGHT. 335 00:14:11,231 --> 00:14:13,232 IT WAS DARK AND WE GOT LOST. 336 00:14:13,233 --> 00:14:15,645 OH YEAH? SO NATURALLY YOUR COMPASS WAS POINTING NORTH. 337 00:14:17,067 --> 00:14:19,028 UH, YOU'RE NOT GONNA TURN US IN, ARE YOU? 338 00:14:19,029 --> 00:14:20,529 DO I LOOK LIKE THAT TYPE OF PERSON? 339 00:14:20,530 --> 00:14:23,362 I MEAN, I LOOK FUN, HIP AND HAPPENING. RIGHT? 340 00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:24,743 - SO HAPPENING! - YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. 341 00:14:24,744 --> 00:14:26,365 IS THAT WHAT IT IS? YEAH? GET OUT OF HERE, ALL RIGHT? 342 00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:29,538 BEFORE WE CHANGE OUR MINDS. GO ON! SCRAM! BEAT IT! 343 00:14:29,539 --> 00:14:32,371 ( chuckles ) YOU'RE NEVER MORE ALIVE THAN WHEN YOU'RE SCARING PEOPLE. 344 00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,453 WHY ARE YOU BEING SO TOUGH ON A COUPLE OF KIDS? 345 00:14:34,454 --> 00:14:36,625 DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO BE YOUNG AND FUN? 346 00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:39,878 - HEY, I'M STILL YOUNG AND FUN. - YEAH, I DON'T SEE IT TONIGHT. 347 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:42,131 YEAH? YOU WANNA SEE FUN? 348 00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:44,463 - I'LL SHOW YOU FUN. - ( lock clicks ) 349 00:14:44,464 --> 00:14:47,056 - YOU ACTUALLY OWE ME A FAVOR. - ( scoffs ) 350 00:14:47,057 --> 00:14:49,598 I THINK IT MIGHT BE ACTUALLY "FUN" TO CASH IN ON THAT RIGHT ABOUT NOW. 351 00:14:49,599 --> 00:14:52,061 WHAT ARE YOU THINKING, LIKE COUCH OR DESK? 352 00:14:52,062 --> 00:14:53,722 OOH, I'M THINKING... 353 00:14:53,723 --> 00:14:55,184 LADY'S CHOICE. 354 00:14:55,185 --> 00:14:58,437 WELL, LADY SAYS... DESK. 355 00:14:58,438 --> 00:15:00,569 - ( mutters ) ALL RIGHT. - ( clatters ) 356 00:15:00,570 --> 00:15:02,861 NOTHING EVER BREAKS WHEN THEY DO IT IN THE MOVIES. 357 00:15:02,862 --> 00:15:04,364 WHAT ARE YOU... 358 00:15:05,525 --> 00:15:06,906 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 359 00:15:09,489 --> 00:15:12,581 ( "The Wheels on the Bus" playing ) 360 00:15:12,582 --> 00:15:17,336 RYDER, I'M SORRY IF I'VE BEEN KIND OF GRUMPY LATELY. 361 00:15:17,337 --> 00:15:19,878 YOU? NO. NO. 362 00:15:19,879 --> 00:15:22,541 - I... I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE. - YEAH, YOU DID. 363 00:15:22,542 --> 00:15:25,344 OKAY, YOU DID SEEM A LITTLE, UH... 364 00:15:25,345 --> 00:15:27,466 - BITCHY? - YOUR WORD, NOT MINE. 365 00:15:27,467 --> 00:15:29,348 ( scoffs ) 366 00:15:29,349 --> 00:15:32,682 BUT HEY... WHAT... WHAT'S GOING ON? 367 00:15:33,723 --> 00:15:35,724 DO YOU NOT LIKE ME ANYMORE? 368 00:15:35,725 --> 00:15:38,897 NO. RYDER, IT'S NOT YOU. 369 00:15:38,898 --> 00:15:41,650 IT'S JUST... ( sighs ) 370 00:15:41,651 --> 00:15:44,943 MONEY'S TIGHT, MY MOM'S ALWAYS ON MY CASE 371 00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:49,738 AND ISABEL'S DAD SUDDENLY CAN'T EVEN LOOK AFTER HER ONE DAY A WEEK. 372 00:15:49,739 --> 00:15:51,660 YOU KNOW, AND I THOUGHT I COULD TRUST HIM, 373 00:15:51,661 --> 00:15:53,452 BUT I CAN'T. I JUST... 374 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,704 I JUST CAN'T TRUST ANYBODY. 375 00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:58,957 HEY. YOU CAN TRUST ME. 376 00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:02,461 - I'M SORRY TO UNLOAD ALL OF THIS ON YOU. - NO, IT'S OKAY. 377 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,383 - ( sighs ) - HEY, IT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR. 378 00:16:04,384 --> 00:16:07,007 ALL RIGHT? I'M YOUR BOYFRIEND. 379 00:16:08,548 --> 00:16:09,969 ( giggles ) 380 00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:16,515 ( dance music playing ) 381 00:16:16,516 --> 00:16:19,768 WELL, THAT WAS VERY SATISFYING. 382 00:16:19,769 --> 00:16:21,480 YES, IT WAS. 383 00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:23,102 I CASHED IN MY CHIT 384 00:16:23,103 --> 00:16:25,564 AND YOU GOT A CHIT, TOO. 385 00:16:25,565 --> 00:16:28,407 YOU KNOW, IT IS GOOD TO CUT LOOSE EVERY ONE IN A WHILE. 386 00:16:28,408 --> 00:16:29,488 IT CERTAINLY IS. 387 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,740 SO, SHOULD WE SHOW THESE KIDS HOW WE DO IT? 388 00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:34,533 - WHAT? - DANCING. I MEANT DANCING. 389 00:16:34,534 --> 00:16:36,206 WE'RE PRETTY GOOD AT THAT, TOO. COME ON. 390 00:16:43,623 --> 00:16:46,926 ( kids cheer ) 391 00:16:54,554 --> 00:16:57,397 EAGLE, CHICKEN, COME HERE. RIGHT NOW. 392 00:16:59,439 --> 00:17:01,400 OKAY, I'VE JUST BEEN INFORMED 393 00:17:01,401 --> 00:17:04,233 THAT COACH HIGGINS' OFFICE HAS BEEN BROKEN INTO THIS EVENING. 394 00:17:04,234 --> 00:17:06,445 STUDENTS HAVE TOLD ME THEY WALKED BY THE OFFICE DOOR 395 00:17:06,446 --> 00:17:10,410 AND HEARD ALL MANNER OF ANIMAL NOISES COMING FROM INSIDE. 396 00:17:12,322 --> 00:17:15,364 - FERAL CATS, MAYBE. - YEAH, THEY CAN BE VERY NOISY, LIKE... 397 00:17:15,365 --> 00:17:17,367 ( screeching ) 398 00:17:19,459 --> 00:17:20,789 ( clears throat ) 399 00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:22,541 I'VE DONE SOME INVESTIGATING 400 00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:25,424 AND I HAVE EVIDENCE OF THE TWO PERPETRATORS. 401 00:17:25,425 --> 00:17:28,377 LIKE D.N.A. EVIDENCE? 402 00:17:28,378 --> 00:17:31,090 NO, A BROKEN TROPHY. 403 00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:33,512 AND I KNOW WHO'S RESPONSIBLE. 404 00:17:33,513 --> 00:17:34,514 YOU DO? 405 00:17:35,805 --> 00:17:38,557 THOSE TWO DEGENERATES OVER THERE. 406 00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:41,640 I'M GOING TO MY OFFICE AND I'M GOING TO CALL THEIR PARENTS. 407 00:17:41,641 --> 00:17:44,183 YOU TWO SUPERVISE WHILE I'M GONE. 408 00:17:44,184 --> 00:17:46,315 HA! WE TOTALLY GOT AWAY WITH IT. 409 00:17:46,316 --> 00:17:48,357 ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU'RE GONNA LET THOSE TWO POOR KIDS TAKE THE FALL? 410 00:17:48,358 --> 00:17:50,689 ABSOLUTELY. THEY'RE YOUNG. 411 00:17:50,690 --> 00:17:53,071 YOU KNOW, THEY'VE GOT THEIR WHOLE LIVES AHEAD OF THEM. 412 00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:55,324 WITH EVERYTHING YOU WERE SAYING TO RYDER ABOUT TAKING RESPONSIBILITY, 413 00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:56,695 - THAT'S HOW YOU'RE GONNA ACT? - WELL, IT'S DIFFERENT. 414 00:17:56,696 --> 00:17:59,118 - HOW?! - IT'S ME! 415 00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:02,412 OKAY, FINE. UGH! INTEGRITY SUCKS. 416 00:18:04,294 --> 00:18:07,586 EXCUSE ME, IF I MAY. THESE AREN'T THE PEOPLE WHO BROKE THE TROPHY. 417 00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,418 - NO? - NUH-UH. 418 00:18:09,419 --> 00:18:11,630 - WELL, THEN WHO DID? - UM, YEAH. 419 00:18:11,631 --> 00:18:13,422 ACTUALLY, THE THING IS, 420 00:18:13,423 --> 00:18:15,714 I... AM NOT VERY PROUD TO ADMIT IT, 421 00:18:15,715 --> 00:18:18,517 BUT IT WAS, UH, US. 422 00:18:18,518 --> 00:18:21,981 - ( mouths ) - KIND OF A LITTLE EAGLE-ON-SWAN ACTION. 423 00:18:23,433 --> 00:18:25,354 - ON THE MAN'S DESK?! - ( mouths ) 424 00:18:25,355 --> 00:18:26,985 HE EATS HIS LUNCH THERE! 425 00:18:26,986 --> 00:18:28,987 OH, I DID GET SOME SESAME SEEDS ON MY ASS. 426 00:18:28,988 --> 00:18:31,490 YOU TWO ARE THE WORST CHAPERONES EVER! 427 00:18:31,491 --> 00:18:34,363 YOU WILL NEVER WORK ANOTHER DANCE AT THIS SCHOOL. 428 00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:37,446 DARN IT! UH, OKAY, WELL, 429 00:18:37,447 --> 00:18:38,787 WE STILL GET OUR HOURS, RIGHT? 430 00:18:38,788 --> 00:18:39,909 I MEAN, WE WERE HERE AT 3:00. 431 00:18:41,501 --> 00:18:42,952 ( mouths ) 432 00:18:44,454 --> 00:18:46,506 ( sighs ) 433 00:18:47,547 --> 00:18:49,338 SO THAT'S WHAT EVERYBODY'S TALKING ABOUT. 434 00:18:49,339 --> 00:18:51,800 - ( laughs ) - I GOTTA SAY I AGREE. 435 00:18:51,801 --> 00:18:55,344 THAT'S... THAT IS REALLY, REALLY SOMETHING. 436 00:18:55,345 --> 00:18:57,516 ( laughs ) IT WAS. 437 00:18:57,517 --> 00:18:58,597 AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS GREAT? 438 00:18:58,598 --> 00:19:02,141 - TELL ME. - ISABEL IS STILL ASLEEP. 439 00:19:04,184 --> 00:19:05,815 OH, NOT BAD FOR MY FIRST TIME... 440 00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:09,398 AT... AT PUTTING ISABEL TO SLEEP. 441 00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:11,190 ( both laugh ) 442 00:19:11,191 --> 00:19:12,982 I'M THE MAN. 443 00:19:17,327 --> 00:19:20,329 YOU KNOW, STELLA, ANY TIME YOU WANNA COME BACK, 444 00:19:20,330 --> 00:19:22,331 I'M AVAILABLE. 445 00:19:22,332 --> 00:19:25,083 - AW, YOU'RE SWEET. - ( chuckles ) 446 00:19:25,084 --> 00:19:28,337 AH, MY PHONE'S DEAD. HEY, IS THERE SOMEPLACE THAT I CAN CHECK MY EMAIL? 447 00:19:28,338 --> 00:19:30,669 UH, YEAH. YEAH, MY COMPUTER'S ON THE KITCHEN TABLE. 448 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:31,751 OKAY. 449 00:19:33,713 --> 00:19:35,054 ( clears throat ) 450 00:19:46,476 --> 00:19:48,437 THAT WAS SOMETHING, HUH? COME ON. 451 00:19:48,438 --> 00:19:50,809 GETTING CAUGHT BY THE VICE-PRINCIPAL HAVING SEX IN THE COACH'S OFFICE, 452 00:19:50,810 --> 00:19:53,812 GETTING THROWN OUT OF THE DANCE. WHAT A NIGHT. 453 00:19:53,813 --> 00:19:55,654 YOU KNOW, THROW IN TWO HOURS AT THE POLICE STATION, 454 00:19:55,655 --> 00:19:57,276 YOU'VE GOT MY SENIOR PROM. 455 00:19:57,277 --> 00:19:59,197 HEY, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THE IMPORTANT THING WAS? 456 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,450 YES, WE DID NOT LET THOSE TWO POOR KIDS TAKE THE FALL. 457 00:20:01,451 --> 00:20:03,742 UH, YEAH, I WAS GONNA SAY I LOGGED MY 18 HOURS, 458 00:20:03,743 --> 00:20:05,244 BUT WHAT YOU SAID WAS GOOD, TOO. 459 00:20:05,245 --> 00:20:06,495 IT FEELS GOOD TO DO THE RIGHT THING, RIGHT? 460 00:20:06,496 --> 00:20:08,247 YUP YUP, WE DID THE RIGHT THING, 461 00:20:08,248 --> 00:20:09,998 RYDER DID THE RIGHT THING. IT WAS A GREAT NIGHT FOR EVERYBODY. 462 00:20:09,999 --> 00:20:12,751 - MM-HMM, SURE WAS. - WE'RE A DEAD FLOWER? 463 00:20:12,752 --> 00:20:15,133 GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WERE PLANNING TO BREAK UP WITH ME! 464 00:20:15,134 --> 00:20:16,835 BUT YOU WENT AHEAD AND SLEPT WITH ME ANYWAY? 465 00:20:16,836 --> 00:20:18,637 NO, I NEVER WANNA SEE YOU AGAIN. 466 00:20:18,638 --> 00:20:20,469 WAIT. NO, STELLA, STELLA, I CAN EXPLAIN. 467 00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:22,681 PLEASE, I... THAT'S NOT HOW I FEEL NOW. 468 00:20:22,682 --> 00:20:26,305 - ( grunts ) - OUR... OUR FLOWER IS VERY MUCH ALIVE! 469 00:20:26,306 --> 00:20:28,226 - HEY. - ( door slams ) 470 00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:30,400 - YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT IT? - ( angrily ) NO. 471 00:20:31,441 --> 00:20:33,021 ( mutters ) OH, THANK GOD. 472 00:20:33,022 --> 00:20:34,733 ( sighs ) 473 00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:36,316 WHAT? HE SAID HE DIDN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. 474 00:20:38,157 --> 00:20:40,028 WHA... ( sighs ) 475 00:20:40,029 --> 00:20:42,862 - OH, THIS BEING-A-GOOD-PERSON NEVER ENDS. - UH-HUH. 476 00:20:46,416 --> 00:20:48,457 RYDER HONEY, IT WAS JUST A MISUNDERSTANDING. 477 00:20:48,458 --> 00:20:50,038 OH, IT'S PRETTY UNDERSTANDABLE. 478 00:20:50,039 --> 00:20:51,370 IT WAS A DISASTER! 479 00:20:51,371 --> 00:20:52,791 OH, WHAT'D RYDER SCREW UP THIS TIME? 480 00:20:52,792 --> 00:20:55,133 ACTUALLY, IT WAS SOMETHING JOE SCREWED UP. 481 00:20:55,134 --> 00:20:57,876 I WAS ASKED TO GIVE ADVICE, I GAVE ADVICE. 482 00:20:57,877 --> 00:20:59,508 OKAY, WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENED HERE? 483 00:20:59,509 --> 00:21:01,591 I HAD SEX TONIGHT, LENNOX. 484 00:21:02,642 --> 00:21:04,434 WAS ANYONE ELSE INVOLVED? 485 00:21:05,515 --> 00:21:07,476 WELL, IN A WAY, WE ALL WERE. 486 00:21:07,477 --> 00:21:08,978 YUP. 487 00:21:11,851 --> 00:21:13,942 METAPHORICALLY. 488 00:21:13,943 --> 00:21:15,814 YOU KNOW, I THINK IF THIS FAMILY SHARED A LITTLE LESS, 489 00:21:15,815 --> 00:21:18,196 WE WOULD BE A LOT HAPPIER. 490 00:21:18,197 --> 00:21:20,360 ALL RIGHT, I'M JUST GONNA LEAVE YOU GUYS WITH THAT. 491 00:21:22,031 --> 00:21:23,453 OH, YOU STILL OWE ME A HUNDRED DOLLARS. 492 00:21:24,904 --> 00:21:26,496 OKAY, 50.