1 00:00:08,049 --> 00:00:09,679 "MELISSA AND JOEY" IS RECORDED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE. 2 00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:11,181 CARRIE, CALM DOWN. 3 00:00:11,182 --> 00:00:13,012 TAKE A DEEP BREATH. 4 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,844 LOOK, OKAY. YOU'RE THE BRIDE. 5 00:00:14,845 --> 00:00:17,137 NO, YOU'RE NOT OVERREACTING AT ALL. 6 00:00:17,138 --> 00:00:18,898 SHE IS TOTALLY CRAY-CRAY. 7 00:00:18,899 --> 00:00:21,271 OKAY, LOOK. WE'RE JUST GONNA ASK YOUR SISTER 8 00:00:21,272 --> 00:00:22,732 TO WEAR A BIGGER CORSAGE. 9 00:00:22,733 --> 00:00:24,944 THAT WILL COVER THE BLEEDING-SKULL TATTOO ON HER CHEST. 10 00:00:24,945 --> 00:00:27,947 OKAY? EVERYTHING'S GONNA GO EXACTLY AS WE PLANNED IT. 11 00:00:27,948 --> 00:00:30,740 OKAY? OKAY. ALL RIGHT. BYE-BYE. 12 00:00:30,741 --> 00:00:32,742 - ( phone beeps ) - WOW. 13 00:00:32,743 --> 00:00:35,325 - CUCKOO. - WHY IS SHE OVERREACTING SO MUCH? 14 00:00:35,326 --> 00:00:37,077 I THOUGHT EVERYTHING WAS ALL ARRANGED. 15 00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:40,080 YES, BY ME. CARRIE DIDN'T KNOW A THING ABOUT PLANNING A WEDDING, 16 00:00:40,081 --> 00:00:41,251 SO I GAVE HER ALL MY BEST IDEAS: 17 00:00:41,252 --> 00:00:44,003 THE FLOWERS, THE CAKE, THE CATERER... 18 00:00:44,004 --> 00:00:45,165 EVEN THE VENUE. 19 00:00:45,166 --> 00:00:47,167 IT'S MY FAVORITE LOCATION IN ALL OF TOLEDO. 20 00:00:47,168 --> 00:00:48,588 DISCOUNT WINE BARN? 21 00:00:48,589 --> 00:00:50,760 NO, THAT PARKING'S HORRIBLE. 22 00:00:50,761 --> 00:00:54,013 THE PAVILION BY THE POND AT THE ARBORETUM. 23 00:00:54,014 --> 00:00:57,557 OOH, MAYBE SOME DAY YOU AND JOE CAN GET MARRIED THERE. 24 00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,229 OHH, MAYBE. 25 00:00:59,230 --> 00:01:02,021 ANYHOW, IT'S ALWAYS BOOKED WAY WAY WAY IN ADVANCE. 26 00:01:02,022 --> 00:01:03,563 I DON'T EVEN KNOW EXACTLY HOW FAR, 27 00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:05,395 BUT LIKE 23 MONTHS AND NINE DAYS. 28 00:01:05,396 --> 00:01:07,777 HELLO, BEAUTIFUL LADIES. 29 00:01:07,778 --> 00:01:09,359 - HI. - OH HEY, GOOD. YOU'RE HERE. 30 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:11,070 - SIGN THIS. - WHAT IS IT? 31 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,572 - JUST SIGN IT. - I DON'T SIGN ANYTHING 32 00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:14,033 WHEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M SIGNING. 33 00:01:14,034 --> 00:01:15,745 I LEARNED THAT THE HARD, 34 00:01:15,746 --> 00:01:17,247 LOSE-EVERYTHING-YOU-OWN WAY. 35 00:01:17,248 --> 00:01:18,998 FINE, I'LL JUST SIGN IT FOR YOU. 36 00:01:18,999 --> 00:01:22,041 "LOVE, MEL AND JOE." 37 00:01:22,042 --> 00:01:23,793 I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU JUST FORGED MY SIGNATURE. 38 00:01:23,794 --> 00:01:25,255 IT'S NOT THAT HARD TO DO. 39 00:01:25,256 --> 00:01:27,467 YES, IT IS, ACTUALLY. BECAUSE HIS "J" IS SO BIG 40 00:01:27,468 --> 00:01:28,918 THAT IT BARELY FITS ON THE CHECK. 41 00:01:28,919 --> 00:01:31,171 - HEY! - YOURS IS SUPER EASY, AUNT MEL. 42 00:01:31,172 --> 00:01:32,262 IT'S JUST "M"... 43 00:01:32,263 --> 00:01:34,053 HAD LOTS OF WINE. 44 00:01:34,054 --> 00:01:36,095 HEY! 45 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,097 SHE'S PRETTY MUCH DEAD ON. 46 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,519 ( theme music playing ) 47 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,891 ♪ I GUESS YOU'RE ♪ 48 00:01:41,892 --> 00:01:44,815 ♪ STUCK WITH ME ♪ 49 00:01:46,937 --> 00:01:48,938 SO LET ME GUESS, EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NO IDEA 50 00:01:48,939 --> 00:01:50,190 WHO THIS CARRIE AND LOU ARE, 51 00:01:50,191 --> 00:01:51,901 I AM THRILLED TO BE GOING TO THEIR WEDDING. 52 00:01:51,902 --> 00:01:54,113 YEP, AT THE ARBORETUM ON THE 23rd. 53 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:57,157 OH, IT'S EXACTLY THE KIND OF PLACE I'D WANT TO GET MARRIED. 54 00:01:57,158 --> 00:02:01,120 YOU KNOW, IF I EVER WERE TO GET MARRIED. 55 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,293 REALLY, YOU, MARRIED? 56 00:02:03,294 --> 00:02:05,665 I MEAN, WHO'D MARRY YOU? 57 00:02:05,666 --> 00:02:06,746 MMM. 58 00:02:06,747 --> 00:02:08,588 I KNOW. SOME SUCKER. 59 00:02:08,589 --> 00:02:10,420 WHOEVER THAT LUCKY SUCKER IS, YOU REALLY THINK IT'S SMART 60 00:02:10,421 --> 00:02:12,512 TO BE SPENDING ALL THAT MONEY ON A BIG WEDDING LIKE THAT? 61 00:02:12,513 --> 00:02:14,013 20 CATERERS, 62 00:02:14,014 --> 00:02:15,014 A 12' HIGH CAKE, 63 00:02:15,015 --> 00:02:16,926 A BUNCH OF BRIDESMAIDS RUNNING AROUND 64 00:02:16,927 --> 00:02:18,518 IN DORKY SHERBET-COLORED DRESSES. 65 00:02:18,519 --> 00:02:21,020 YOU MEAN LIKE WHEN YOU GOT MARRIED THE FIRST TIME? 66 00:02:21,021 --> 00:02:22,852 EXACTLY! YES YES. 67 00:02:22,853 --> 00:02:24,854 I SPENT A FORTUNE ON THAT THING AND IT DIDN'T TAKE. 68 00:02:24,855 --> 00:02:26,936 THAT'S WHY I THINK THE SMART THING TO DO IS 69 00:02:26,937 --> 00:02:28,188 TAKE ALL THAT MONEY 70 00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:31,401 AND PUT IT INTO MUNICIPAL BONDS. 71 00:02:31,402 --> 00:02:34,734 JOE, EVERY WOMAN WANTS A BIG LAVISH CEREMONY 72 00:02:34,735 --> 00:02:36,326 AT A BEAUTIFUL PLACE LIKE THE ARBORETUM. 73 00:02:36,327 --> 00:02:38,488 THAT'S WHY IT'S BOOKED TWO YEARS IN ADVANCE. 74 00:02:38,489 --> 00:02:39,739 OH, AND BY THE WAY, 75 00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:41,831 THE REASON YOU NEED BRIDESMAIDS IN UGLY 76 00:02:41,832 --> 00:02:45,335 SHERBET-COLORED DRESSES IS SO THAT THE BRIDE LOOKS LIKE A GODDESS. 77 00:02:45,336 --> 00:02:47,747 NAH NAH, LOOK. THE MINUTE YOU FIND THE RIGHT PERSON, 78 00:02:47,748 --> 00:02:48,918 YOU GO STRAIGHT DOWN TO CITY HALL 79 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:50,840 AND JUST GET IT OVER WITH. 80 00:02:50,841 --> 00:02:53,253 OH, WHAT EVERY LITTLE GIRL DREAMS OF HEARING. 81 00:02:53,254 --> 00:02:55,004 "DARLING, I LOVE YOU. 82 00:02:55,005 --> 00:02:56,717 LET'S GET IT OVER WITH." 83 00:02:59,099 --> 00:03:01,681 OH HEY, I JUST TEXTED YOU. WHY DIDN'T YOU REPLY? 84 00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:04,063 MY PHONE FELL IN THE TOILET AGAIN. 85 00:03:04,064 --> 00:03:06,185 YOU KNOW, MAYBE IT'S NOT ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY 86 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,067 THAT YOU PLAY TEMPLE RUN WHILE YOU'RE PEEING. 87 00:03:08,068 --> 00:03:11,402 OH, LIKE IT'S JUST SO EASY TO STOP. 88 00:03:12,483 --> 00:03:13,983 ANYWAY, I CAN'T GET A NEW PHONE 89 00:03:13,984 --> 00:03:15,315 UNTIL I GET A JOB TO PAY FOR IT, 90 00:03:15,316 --> 00:03:16,906 AND ALL THE PLACES I APPLIED TO REJECTED ME. 91 00:03:16,907 --> 00:03:18,908 HOT DIGGITY DOG, THE BRAT HOUSE, 92 00:03:18,909 --> 00:03:19,989 WEINER-LOVER. 93 00:03:19,990 --> 00:03:21,911 I'VE DRIVEN BY THAT LAST PLACE. 94 00:03:21,912 --> 00:03:24,874 THEY DON'T SELL HOT DOGS. 95 00:03:24,875 --> 00:03:26,416 IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYWAY, 96 00:03:26,417 --> 00:03:28,458 BECAUSE ALL THE PLACES I APPLIED TO WANT JOB EXPERIENCE. 97 00:03:28,459 --> 00:03:30,830 HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO GET JOB EXPERIENCE 98 00:03:30,831 --> 00:03:32,171 IF NOBODY WILL HIRE YOU? 99 00:03:32,172 --> 00:03:33,503 YOU WRITE A RESUME. 100 00:03:33,504 --> 00:03:35,214 OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? WE CAN WRITE ONE RIGHT NOW. 101 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,926 OKAY, AND WE'RE DONE 102 00:03:36,927 --> 00:03:38,338 BECAUSE I HAVEN'T HAD ANY JOBS. 103 00:03:38,339 --> 00:03:40,930 OKAY, SO MAKE SOME UP. 104 00:03:40,931 --> 00:03:42,342 REALLY? JUST MAKE THEM UP? 105 00:03:42,343 --> 00:03:45,014 - LIKE, LIE? - YEP, GO. 106 00:03:45,015 --> 00:03:46,936 OKAY. 107 00:03:46,937 --> 00:03:50,149 WELL, I ONCE TRAINED MONKEYS FOR NASA. 108 00:03:50,150 --> 00:03:54,023 YEAH, I DON'T SEE YOU OUTRANKING MONKEYS. 109 00:03:54,024 --> 00:03:55,815 TRY SOMETHING SEMI-BELIEVABLE. 110 00:03:55,816 --> 00:03:58,528 UM, FOR REAL, I CUT MRS. HENDERSON'S LAWN. 111 00:03:58,529 --> 00:04:00,990 THERE YOU GO. "HEAD GROUNDSKEEPER, 112 00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,912 HENDERSON ESTATE." 113 00:04:02,913 --> 00:04:04,574 MRS. HENDERSON HATED ME THOUGH. 114 00:04:04,575 --> 00:04:06,916 I KIND OF MOWED HER KID'S BUNNY. 115 00:04:06,917 --> 00:04:08,247 JUST THE TAIL. 116 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,869 THOSE GROW BACK, RIGHT? 117 00:04:09,870 --> 00:04:11,501 OKAY. 118 00:04:11,502 --> 00:04:13,753 SO SHE WON'T BE A REFERENCE. 119 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:15,505 BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS THERE'S NO WAY 120 00:04:15,506 --> 00:04:17,757 FOR YOUR PROSPECTIVE EMPLOYERS TO KNOW IF THEY'RE TALKING TO 121 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:19,339 YOUR ACTUAL FORMER BOSS, 122 00:04:19,340 --> 00:04:21,010 SO REALLY YOU JUST NEED A GOOD FRIEND 123 00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:23,142 WHO WILL ANSWER THE PHONE AND SAY POSITIVE THINGS. 124 00:04:23,143 --> 00:04:24,344 I COULD ASK MY BUDDY JASON. 125 00:04:24,345 --> 00:04:25,935 UM, CAN I BORROW YOUR PHONE? 126 00:04:25,936 --> 00:04:28,187 NO WAY. I DON'T WANT MINE TO END UP IN THE TOILET. 127 00:04:28,188 --> 00:04:31,891 - USE THE LANDLINE. - THE WHAT? 128 00:04:31,892 --> 00:04:32,942 THAT. 129 00:04:32,943 --> 00:04:34,193 THE LANDLINE. 130 00:04:34,194 --> 00:04:36,026 OH YEAH, THAT. OKAY. 131 00:04:37,898 --> 00:04:39,109 CALL JASON. 132 00:04:40,901 --> 00:04:42,402 I'M KIDDING. 133 00:04:42,403 --> 00:04:44,905 BUT BUNNIES TAILS DO GROW BACK, RIGHT? 134 00:04:48,619 --> 00:04:50,290 ( gunshots ) 135 00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:55,965 HEY, CARRIE. 136 00:04:55,966 --> 00:04:57,377 WHEN YOU GAVE ME THE ADDRESS, I THOUGHT 137 00:04:57,378 --> 00:04:59,419 WE WERE MEETING AT A NEW COFFEE SHOP OR SOMETHING. 138 00:04:59,420 --> 00:05:01,050 BUT, YOU KNOW, THIS IS GREAT TOO. 139 00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:03,343 HEY, LOOK. THE GUY AT THE FRONT DESK THOUGHT I WAS CUTE 140 00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:05,765 AND GAVE ME A COMPLIMENTARY BOX OF LIPSTICK BULLETS. 141 00:05:05,766 --> 00:05:06,976 AREN'T THEY ADORABLE? 142 00:05:06,977 --> 00:05:08,097 ( gunfire ) 143 00:05:08,098 --> 00:05:09,929 LOU AND I HAD A HUGE FIGHT. 144 00:05:09,930 --> 00:05:11,431 THE WEDDING'S OFF. 145 00:05:11,432 --> 00:05:12,852 OH, COME ON. 146 00:05:12,853 --> 00:05:14,023 OKAY, WITH WEDDINGS 147 00:05:14,024 --> 00:05:15,565 A LOT OF PEOPLE GET COLD FEET. 148 00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:16,986 HE TOLD ME HE HAS 149 00:05:16,987 --> 00:05:19,739 A SECRET WIFE AND KIDS IN CINCINNATI 150 00:05:19,740 --> 00:05:22,241 AND ASKED ME IF THAT WOULD BE A PROBLEM. 151 00:05:22,242 --> 00:05:25,114 HEY, HE GETS POINTS FOR ASKING, RIGHT? 152 00:05:25,115 --> 00:05:28,117 OKAY, ARE YOU SURE YOU WOULDN'T RATHER GO GET A MANI-PEDI 153 00:05:28,118 --> 00:05:30,079 OR SOMETHING A LITTLE LESS... 154 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:31,001 SHOOTY? 155 00:05:31,002 --> 00:05:32,622 NO. 156 00:05:32,623 --> 00:05:35,334 SINCE I BECAME A COP, THIS IS WHERE I COME TO RELAX. 157 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,417 WOW, NICE GROUPING. 158 00:05:37,418 --> 00:05:39,008 RIGHT IN THE BELLS. 159 00:05:39,009 --> 00:05:41,961 ( sighs ) HONEY, LET ME GIVE YOU A HUG... 160 00:05:41,962 --> 00:05:44,093 AS SOON AS YOU PUT THE GUN AWAY. 161 00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:46,345 YOU KNOW I FEEL BAD FOR YOU TOO. 162 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,768 I MEAN, ALL THE WORK YOU PUT INTO THIS? 163 00:05:48,769 --> 00:05:51,350 YOU FOUND ME THE FLORIST AND THE CATERER, 164 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:52,852 AND THE ARBORETUM! 165 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:55,064 OH, YOU'RE SO SWEET, BUT DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME. 166 00:05:55,065 --> 00:05:57,356 AND NOW I HAVE TO SUFFER THE HUMILIATION 167 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,739 OF CALLING AND CANCELING EVERYTHING. 168 00:05:59,740 --> 00:06:01,901 NO NO, YOU DON'T. HEY, I'LL HANDLE ALL THAT. 169 00:06:01,902 --> 00:06:03,943 I'LL CALL THE FLORIST, I WILL CALL THE CATERER 170 00:06:03,944 --> 00:06:06,285 AND I WILL CALL AND CANCEL THE RESERVATION AT THE ARBORETUM. 171 00:06:06,286 --> 00:06:08,247 - OH, THANK YOU. - FOR A WEDDING. 172 00:06:08,248 --> 00:06:11,080 IN FOUR WEEKS. 173 00:06:11,081 --> 00:06:12,953 OOH. 174 00:06:14,995 --> 00:06:17,917 OKAY, WAIT. SO LOU THOUGHT THAT HE COULD GET AWAY 175 00:06:17,918 --> 00:06:19,258 WITH HAVING TWO WIVES? 176 00:06:19,259 --> 00:06:21,000 YES, AND IF YOU'VE EVER SEEN HIM IN BIKE SHORTS, 177 00:06:21,001 --> 00:06:23,463 YOU WONDER HOW HE EVER GOT ONE WOMAN TO MARRY HIM. 178 00:06:23,464 --> 00:06:26,926 OH, MAN. SO THAT MEANS THEY'RE GONNA LOSE THEIR RESERVATION AT THE ARBORETUM? 179 00:06:26,927 --> 00:06:29,058 WOW, THAT'S GONNA COST THEM. 180 00:06:29,059 --> 00:06:33,683 UNLESS THEY WERE TO FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO TAKE THE RESERVATION 181 00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:35,725 FOR, I DON'T KNOW... 182 00:06:35,726 --> 00:06:38,317 MY WEDDING? 183 00:06:38,318 --> 00:06:39,479 WAIT, WHAT? 184 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:41,901 YOU AND JOE IN 30 DAYS? 185 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,903 AUNT MEL, THAT'S INSANE. 186 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,946 INSANELY AWESOME. 187 00:06:47,738 --> 00:06:50,159 BUT YOU AND JOE AREN'T EVEN ENGAGED. 188 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:51,791 HOW ARE YOU GONNA TALK HIM INTO THIS? 189 00:06:51,792 --> 00:06:53,913 THE SAME WAY YOU TALK MEN INTO DOING ANYTHING. 190 00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,995 MAKE THEM THINK IT'S THEIR IDEA. 191 00:06:55,996 --> 00:06:58,037 OOH, THAT IS SO SNEAKY. 192 00:06:58,038 --> 00:06:59,879 MM, PLEASE. 193 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:01,751 I PREFER DIABOLICAL. 194 00:07:01,752 --> 00:07:02,922 AND HERE'S MY EVIL LAUGH. 195 00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:05,636 ( both laugh ) 196 00:07:08,759 --> 00:07:10,930 WHAT ARE YOU TWO LAUGHING ABOUT? 197 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,352 Both: NOTHING. 198 00:07:19,269 --> 00:07:21,320 SO THEN CARRIE SAID 199 00:07:21,321 --> 00:07:23,062 "OLIVIA? WHO'S OLIVIA?" 200 00:07:23,063 --> 00:07:25,485 LOU FESSED UP AND SHOWED HER PICTURES OF HIS OTHER WIFE, 201 00:07:25,486 --> 00:07:27,236 HIS KIDS AND HIS BULLDOG 202 00:07:27,237 --> 00:07:29,199 WHOSE NAME IS... GET THIS... CARRIE. 203 00:07:30,621 --> 00:07:32,121 HOW MESSED UP IS THAT? 204 00:07:32,122 --> 00:07:33,663 SO MESSED UP. 205 00:07:33,664 --> 00:07:35,495 98... 206 00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:36,916 99... 207 00:07:36,917 --> 00:07:38,457 3,000. 208 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,960 SO THE WEDDING IS PFFT. 209 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,922 AND THEY'RE GONNA LOSE A TON OF MONEY ON FLOWERS 210 00:07:42,923 --> 00:07:45,084 AND THE CATERER AND THE ARBORETUM. 211 00:07:45,085 --> 00:07:46,756 BUT AS I WAS TELLING LENNOX, 212 00:07:46,757 --> 00:07:48,848 MAYBE THEY COULD FIND SOMEBODY ELSE 213 00:07:48,849 --> 00:07:50,299 TO TAKE THE DATE. 214 00:07:50,300 --> 00:07:51,141 OOH, I KNOW. 215 00:07:51,142 --> 00:07:53,553 - YOU DO? - YEAH. 216 00:07:53,554 --> 00:07:55,645 PUT IT ON EBAY. 217 00:07:55,646 --> 00:07:58,147 YOU JUST TOLD ME EVERYONE'S DYING TO GET MARRIED AT THAT PAVILION THINGY. 218 00:07:58,148 --> 00:08:00,900 - IT'LL GO IN A HEARTBEAT. - NO, YOU DON'T SELL SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO A STRANGER. 219 00:08:00,901 --> 00:08:03,102 OKAY, WHATEVER. 220 00:08:03,103 --> 00:08:05,104 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, HONEY, BUT I'M READY FOR BED. 221 00:08:05,105 --> 00:08:07,486 AND NOT SLEEPY BED. 222 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,569 FUN BED. 223 00:08:09,570 --> 00:08:11,070 WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT. 224 00:08:11,071 --> 00:08:12,912 YOU KNOW, MAYBE YOU'RE ONTO SOMETHING. 225 00:08:12,913 --> 00:08:13,993 YOU HAD A GOOD IDEA. 226 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:15,204 YEAH, FUN BED. 227 00:08:15,205 --> 00:08:16,576 NO NO NO, BEFORE THAT. 228 00:08:16,577 --> 00:08:19,418 ABOUT FINDING SOMEONE ELSE TO TAKE THE RESERVATION. 229 00:08:19,419 --> 00:08:21,961 - THAT WASN'T MY IDEA, HONEY. THAT WAS YOUR IDEA. - NO NO NO. 230 00:08:21,962 --> 00:08:25,124 THAT WAS ALL JOE LONGO, YOU PROBLEM-SOLVING GENIUS. 231 00:08:25,125 --> 00:08:27,046 I AM FULL OF A LOT OF GOOD IDEAS. 232 00:08:27,047 --> 00:08:29,428 YEAH. LIKE YOU SAID, 233 00:08:29,429 --> 00:08:32,391 IF ONLY THERE WERE SOME WAY TO GET SOMEONE TO SAVE THAT RESERVATION. 234 00:08:32,392 --> 00:08:35,224 MM-HMM, YEP. THAT'S ABSOLUTELY NOT WHAT I'M THINKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW. 235 00:08:35,225 --> 00:08:36,265 HANG ON, HANG ON. 236 00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:38,187 THERE'S GOT TO BE SOMEONE WE KNOW 237 00:08:38,188 --> 00:08:39,769 THAT WANTS TO HAVE A BAR MITZVAH 238 00:08:39,770 --> 00:08:41,941 OR A RETIREMENT PARTY, 239 00:08:41,942 --> 00:08:43,442 OR, I DON'T KNOW, A WEDDING? 240 00:08:43,443 --> 00:08:45,815 HONEY, NO ONE'S GONNA PLAN A BIG EVENT LIKE THAT 241 00:08:45,816 --> 00:08:46,986 ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE. 242 00:08:46,987 --> 00:08:48,147 WELL, THEY MIGHT. 243 00:08:48,148 --> 00:08:49,649 IF THEY WERE REALLY IN LOVE. 244 00:08:49,650 --> 00:08:52,201 I KNOW. BUT IT'S... 245 00:08:52,202 --> 00:08:53,993 WHAT THE HELL'S ON THIS? A COMBINATION LOCK? 246 00:08:53,994 --> 00:08:55,494 JOE. 247 00:08:55,495 --> 00:08:57,206 LET'S GET MARRIED. 248 00:08:57,207 --> 00:08:58,367 - WHAT? - YEAH. 249 00:08:58,368 --> 00:09:00,920 MARRY ME AT THE ARBORETUM ON THE 23rd 250 00:09:00,921 --> 00:09:03,252 BETWEEN NOON AND 6:00 P.M. 251 00:09:03,253 --> 00:09:04,214 - ARE YOU SERIOUS? - YEAH. 252 00:09:04,215 --> 00:09:06,255 IT'S AVAILABLE, I'M AVAILABLE. 253 00:09:06,256 --> 00:09:07,426 ACTUALLY, I WILL HAVE TO CANCEL SOMETHING, 254 00:09:07,427 --> 00:09:08,839 BUT I WILL BE AVAILABLE. 255 00:09:10,260 --> 00:09:11,510 WOW. 256 00:09:11,511 --> 00:09:12,932 YOU KNOW, THIS IS... THIS IS... 257 00:09:12,933 --> 00:09:14,093 IT'S SO UNEXPECTED. 258 00:09:14,094 --> 00:09:17,096 I MEAN, YOU SURE IT'S NOT TOO FAST, HONEY? 259 00:09:17,097 --> 00:09:19,889 I MEAN, WE'VE ONLY BEEN GOING OUT A FEW MONTHS. 260 00:09:19,890 --> 00:09:22,101 WELL, I'M READY. 261 00:09:22,102 --> 00:09:23,273 WHAT DO YOU SAY? 262 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,736 I MEAN... 263 00:09:26,737 --> 00:09:28,067 IT'S INCREDIBLY SWEET. 264 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,899 - BUT... - STOP. 265 00:09:29,900 --> 00:09:31,070 GOT IT. 266 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,491 I HEARD THE "BUT." 267 00:09:32,492 --> 00:09:33,572 I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. 268 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:36,075 IT IS AN EXTREMELY NICE OFFER. 269 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,077 - IT'S JUST THAT... - NICE OFFER? 270 00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:41,290 NO NO NO. NICE OFFER IS "LADIES DRINK FREE." 271 00:09:41,291 --> 00:09:43,582 - THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT. - YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEANT. 272 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,334 YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED IN MARRYING ME. 273 00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:47,917 IT'S... I GET IT. MESSAGE RECEIVED. 274 00:09:47,918 --> 00:09:51,922 SO LET'S GET BACK TO THE TASK AT HAND, RIGHT? 275 00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:54,514 GO AHEAD. 276 00:09:58,098 --> 00:10:00,309 THAT'S NOT REALLY THAT SEXY. 277 00:10:00,310 --> 00:10:03,102 YEAH WELL, THIS IS ALL I GOT. 278 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,935 SO HAVE YOUR WAY. 279 00:10:07,778 --> 00:10:09,820 I'M GOOD. 280 00:10:11,281 --> 00:10:13,653 SO YOU JUST ASKED HIM, JUST LIKE THAT? 281 00:10:13,654 --> 00:10:15,444 JUST "HEY, JOE, YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED?" 282 00:10:15,445 --> 00:10:17,196 I THOUGHT HE WAS READY. 283 00:10:17,197 --> 00:10:19,498 I GUESS I'M JUST NOT THE RIGHT PERSON. WHAT ELSE COULD IT BE? 284 00:10:19,499 --> 00:10:21,290 YOU ARE TOTALLY THE RIGHT PERSON. 285 00:10:21,291 --> 00:10:22,953 WELL, TELL THAT TO MY STUPID TRUE LOVE. 286 00:10:24,004 --> 00:10:25,294 OH HEY, RYDER. 287 00:10:25,295 --> 00:10:27,416 - HOW'S THE JOB SEARCH GOING? - OH, LOUSY. 288 00:10:27,417 --> 00:10:30,210 FAKE ME SHOULD HAVE NEVER QUIT TRAINING MONKEYS AT NASA. 289 00:10:31,421 --> 00:10:32,421 DON'T ASK. 290 00:10:32,422 --> 00:10:34,253 I WENT TO THE MALL A WEEK AGO 291 00:10:34,254 --> 00:10:36,255 AND FILLED OUT LIKE 40 APPLICATIONS. 292 00:10:36,256 --> 00:10:37,426 DIDN'T HEAR BACK FROM ANYBODY. 293 00:10:37,427 --> 00:10:39,258 SERIOUSLY? THAT MANY AND NOT A NIBBLE? 294 00:10:39,259 --> 00:10:41,100 YEAH, IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, ASK JOE. 295 00:10:41,101 --> 00:10:42,261 HE WAS THERE. I SAW HIM. 296 00:10:42,262 --> 00:10:43,723 HE WAS AT SOME JEWELRY STORE. 297 00:10:43,724 --> 00:10:46,766 WHOA. REWIND. JOE WAS AT A JEWELRY STORE? 298 00:10:46,767 --> 00:10:49,068 YEAH, THE FANCY ONE ACROSS FROM THE HOT DOG PLACE. 299 00:10:49,069 --> 00:10:52,071 AUNT MEL, THAT'S IT. THAT'S THE "WHAT ELSE." 300 00:10:52,072 --> 00:10:54,984 THAT'S WHY JOE DIDN'T WANT TO GET MARRIED WHEN YOU ASKED HIM. 301 00:10:54,985 --> 00:10:56,235 YOU ASKED JOE TO MARRY YOU? 302 00:10:56,236 --> 00:10:58,617 THAT'S BALLSY. 303 00:10:58,618 --> 00:11:01,240 NO, THINK ABOUT IT. A WEDDING IS A WOMAN'S ARENA. 304 00:11:01,241 --> 00:11:04,043 WHAT IS THE MAN'S ONLY WEDDING-RELATED RESPONSIBILITY? 305 00:11:04,044 --> 00:11:07,086 SAY "I DO" AND DON'T HIT ON THE BRIDESMAIDS? 306 00:11:07,087 --> 00:11:09,088 NO. IT'S THE PROPOSAL. 307 00:11:09,089 --> 00:11:12,131 THE ONLY THING THE MAN CAN CONTROL IS WHEN HE POPS THE QUESTION, 308 00:11:12,132 --> 00:11:15,925 SO JOE WAS AT THE JEWELRY STORE LOOKING AT ENGAGEMENT RINGS. 309 00:11:15,926 --> 00:11:17,176 HOLY SMOKES, THAT'S IT! 310 00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,598 JOE'S GONNA PROPOSE. 311 00:11:19,599 --> 00:11:22,101 I'M GONNA GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE THE SQUEALING STARTS. 312 00:11:22,102 --> 00:11:24,724 ( both squealing ) OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD! 313 00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:26,685 WAIT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT. WE CAN'T CELEBRATE YET. 314 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:29,068 - BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW WHEN IT'S GONNA HAPPEN. - YOU'RE RIGHT. 315 00:11:29,069 --> 00:11:30,399 YEAH. 316 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:31,811 I MEAN, YOU KNOW, 317 00:11:31,812 --> 00:11:33,272 - NOW I JUST HAVE TO WAIT. - MM-HMM. 318 00:11:33,273 --> 00:11:34,904 NO PROBLEM THERE. 319 00:11:34,905 --> 00:11:37,407 I CAN LIVE WITH THE UNCERTAINTY OF NOT KNOWING WHEN. 320 00:11:38,819 --> 00:11:41,821 WHEN. WHEN... 321 00:11:41,822 --> 00:11:44,164 - WHEN, DAMN IT, WHEN?! - ( yelps ) 322 00:11:45,956 --> 00:11:48,087 CHEZ BEAUMETTE? YEAH, THIS IS JOE LONGO. 323 00:11:48,088 --> 00:11:49,749 I'M JUST CALLING TO CONFIRM MY RESERVATION FOR THIS EVENING 324 00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:51,540 FOR A PARTY OF TWO, 6:30 P.M. 325 00:11:51,541 --> 00:11:53,002 OKAY, GREAT. 326 00:11:53,003 --> 00:11:55,094 THAT'S A SUNSET-VIEW TABLE, RIGHT? 327 00:11:55,095 --> 00:11:56,335 PERFECT, THANKS. 328 00:11:56,336 --> 00:11:57,927 SO. 329 00:11:57,928 --> 00:12:00,139 TONIGHT'S THE BIG NIGHT, HUH? 330 00:12:00,140 --> 00:12:02,802 YOU'RE GONNA ASK AUNT MEL TO MARRY YOU? 331 00:12:02,803 --> 00:12:05,434 - WHAT? WHERE'D YOU GET AN IDEA LIKE THAT? - WHEN I TOLD AUNT MEL 332 00:12:05,435 --> 00:12:07,646 AND LENNOX THAT I'D SEEN YOU AT THE JEWELRY STORE, 333 00:12:07,647 --> 00:12:09,899 THEY KIND OF PUT TWO-AND-TWO TOGETHER. 334 00:12:09,900 --> 00:12:12,061 AND THEN THEY EXPLAINED IT TO ME. 335 00:12:12,062 --> 00:12:14,524 YOU GUYS ARE ALL WRONG. I'M JUST TAKING HER OUT TO EAT. 336 00:12:15,816 --> 00:12:18,157 - RIGHT. - CAN'T A GUY TAKE HIS GIRL OUT 337 00:12:18,158 --> 00:12:19,989 FOR A NICE MEAL WITHOUT IT BEING A BIG DEAL? 338 00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:21,490 OH NO. I GOT YOU. 339 00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:24,323 KEEP IT ON THE DOWN LOW. 340 00:12:24,324 --> 00:12:26,916 WHAT? NO. DUDE, THERE'S NO DOWN, MAN. 341 00:12:26,917 --> 00:12:29,919 - THERE'S NO LOW. - ( chuckles ) INDEED. 342 00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:31,501 PLAYA. 343 00:12:33,924 --> 00:12:35,504 IT'S TONIGHT. IT'S TONIGHT. 344 00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:37,176 JOE IS PROPOSING TONIGHT. 345 00:12:37,177 --> 00:12:39,088 - WHAT? - YES. RYDER JUST TOLD ME 346 00:12:39,089 --> 00:12:40,549 THAT HE'S TAKING YOU TO CHEZ BEAUMETTE. 347 00:12:40,550 --> 00:12:42,431 - CHEZ BEAUMETTE? - YEAH. 348 00:12:42,432 --> 00:12:45,344 "TOLEDO LIVING" SAID IT'S THE NUMBER-ONE PLACE IN TOWN TO PROPOSE. 349 00:12:45,345 --> 00:12:48,307 YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT? I HAVE BEEN A BRIDESMAID 25 TIMES. 350 00:12:48,308 --> 00:12:50,980 OH CRAP. THIS IS NOT A GETTING-PROPOSED-TO DRESS. 351 00:12:50,981 --> 00:12:53,602 OKAY, WHICH ONE OF THESE SAYS "YES." 352 00:12:53,603 --> 00:12:55,274 UH, GREEN? GREEN MEANS GO. 353 00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:56,236 MM, TOO LONG. 354 00:12:56,237 --> 00:12:58,277 ( groans ) TOO FUNERAL-Y. 355 00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,569 TOO "REAL HOUSEWIVES." 356 00:13:00,570 --> 00:13:02,822 Joe: HEY, MEL. ARE YOU READY TO GO, HONEY? 357 00:13:02,823 --> 00:13:04,743 - ALMOST. - ALL RIGHT, HURRY UP. 358 00:13:04,744 --> 00:13:06,665 WE DON'T WANT TO BE LATE FOR OUR BIG NIGHT OUT. 359 00:13:06,666 --> 00:13:08,457 OH MY GOD! THIS IS IT. 360 00:13:08,458 --> 00:13:10,329 SHUT UP. YOU CAN'T JINX IT. 361 00:13:10,330 --> 00:13:12,912 YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU'RE RIGHT. 362 00:13:12,913 --> 00:13:14,584 ( both squealing ) 363 00:13:16,086 --> 00:13:17,126 ARE YOU GUYS LAUGHING ABOUT? 364 00:13:17,127 --> 00:13:19,009 Both: NOTHING. 365 00:13:22,262 --> 00:13:23,423 ( muffled squealing ) 366 00:13:28,388 --> 00:13:29,728 ( cellphone ringing ) 367 00:13:29,729 --> 00:13:32,521 RYDER, WHY DOES ZAPS INCREDIBLE KEEP CALLING ME? 368 00:13:32,522 --> 00:13:35,144 OH, THAT'S THE LASER TAG PLACE. ANSWER IT, ANSWER IT. 369 00:13:35,145 --> 00:13:36,395 BUT WHY? 370 00:13:36,396 --> 00:13:37,776 'CAUSE I'M APPLYING FOR A JOB THERE. 371 00:13:37,777 --> 00:13:39,278 YOU'RE MY BOSS. YOU'RE MY REFERENCE. 372 00:13:39,279 --> 00:13:41,030 YOU LOVE ME. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GREAT. 373 00:13:41,031 --> 00:13:42,201 OH, AND YOU'RE JAMAICAN. 374 00:13:42,202 --> 00:13:44,613 GO. 375 00:13:44,614 --> 00:13:47,206 ( Jamaican accent ) HELLO... MON. 376 00:13:47,207 --> 00:13:50,210 YEAH, RYDER BE A FANTASTIC EMPLOYEE, MON. 377 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:54,333 YEAH, HIS WORK HABITS BE JAMMIN'. 378 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:55,794 NO WORRIES, MON. 379 00:13:55,795 --> 00:13:58,218 WITH RYDER, EVERY SINGLE THING GONNA BE JUST FINE. 380 00:13:59,379 --> 00:14:00,589 YOU WERE GREAT. 381 00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:02,461 OKAY, DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN. 382 00:14:02,462 --> 00:14:04,173 WHAT, MAKE YOU DO AN ACCENT? 383 00:14:04,174 --> 00:14:06,726 NO, MAKE ME SAY NICE THINGS ABOUT YOU. 384 00:14:09,059 --> 00:14:10,640 ( accordion music playing ) 385 00:14:14,184 --> 00:14:16,025 - TO US. - TO US. 386 00:14:16,026 --> 00:14:18,527 OH, THIS IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL PLACE. 387 00:14:18,528 --> 00:14:20,279 AND YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S FAMOUS FOR? 388 00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:22,821 MM, NO, WHAT? 389 00:14:22,822 --> 00:14:24,243 WELL, HONEY, "TOLEDO LIVING" SAYS 390 00:14:24,244 --> 00:14:28,037 THIS IS THE BEST PLACE IN TOWN FOR... 391 00:14:28,038 --> 00:14:30,199 BOUILLABAISSE. 392 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:32,041 BOUI... WHAT? 393 00:14:32,042 --> 00:14:34,704 THAT... I DID NOT KNOW THAT. 394 00:14:36,046 --> 00:14:38,257 THE LIGHTING IN HERE IS REALLY MAKING YOUR EYES DANCE. 395 00:14:38,258 --> 00:14:40,499 JOE. 396 00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:42,712 HOLD THAT THOUGHT. EXCUSE ME. 397 00:14:44,634 --> 00:14:47,347 COULD I ASK YOU A SPECIAL FAVOR, PLEASE? 398 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,811 COULD YOU STAY ON THAT SIDE OF THE ROOM? I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF TALK. 399 00:14:54,474 --> 00:14:55,894 IT WASN'T BOTHERING ME. 400 00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,566 YEAH? WELL, MAYBE I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT 401 00:14:57,567 --> 00:14:59,438 QUESTION TO ASK YOU AND I WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU CAN HEAR IT. 402 00:14:59,439 --> 00:15:02,191 OH, YEAH? LIKE WHAT? 403 00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:04,404 WELL, YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN... 404 00:15:07,527 --> 00:15:09,618 I'VE BEEN THINKING A LOT ABOUT US. 405 00:15:09,619 --> 00:15:12,371 AND I THINK IT MIGHT BE TIME 406 00:15:12,372 --> 00:15:14,743 THAT WE MAKE A LITTLE CHANGE TO OUR ARRANGEMENT. 407 00:15:14,744 --> 00:15:16,625 OH? AND I SUPPOSE 408 00:15:16,626 --> 00:15:18,297 YOU HAVE AN IDEA ON HOW TO DO THAT 409 00:15:18,298 --> 00:15:20,749 WITH ONE QUESTION? 410 00:15:20,750 --> 00:15:22,211 YES, I DO. 411 00:15:22,212 --> 00:15:23,502 SO I WANTED TO ASK YOU 412 00:15:23,503 --> 00:15:27,046 IF... 413 00:15:27,047 --> 00:15:29,218 I CAN MOVE INTO YOUR ROOM AND WE CAN TURN MY ROOM 414 00:15:29,219 --> 00:15:33,052 INTO THE LONGO FIT CORPORATE OFFICES. 415 00:15:33,053 --> 00:15:36,355 THAT... THAT'S YOUR QUESTION? 416 00:15:36,356 --> 00:15:38,557 YEAH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME RIGHT NOW, HONEY. YOU CAN WAIT. 417 00:15:38,558 --> 00:15:41,610 YEAH, I CAN WAIT. I CAN WAIT. 418 00:15:41,611 --> 00:15:43,942 YES. OH MY GOD, YES! 419 00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,946 ( applause ) 420 00:15:48,118 --> 00:15:49,368 ISN'T THAT SOMETHING, SWEETIE? 421 00:15:49,369 --> 00:15:51,830 SURE IS. ( chuckles ) 422 00:15:51,831 --> 00:15:53,452 YOU KNOW WHAT? 423 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:54,703 THAT JUST GOT ME THINKING. 424 00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:57,336 YES, JOE? 425 00:15:57,337 --> 00:15:59,579 MAYBE THEY CAN USE THE RESERVATION AT THE ARBORETUM. 426 00:16:01,631 --> 00:16:03,002 SURE, WHY THE HELL NOT? 427 00:16:03,003 --> 00:16:04,793 GARCON, HIT ME. 428 00:16:04,794 --> 00:16:06,385 OH, YOU KNOW, HONEY? 429 00:16:06,386 --> 00:16:08,387 I KNOW I'VE PROBABLY SEEMED A LITTLE PREOCCUPIED 430 00:16:08,388 --> 00:16:09,928 SINCE WE WALKED IN HERE THIS EVENING, 431 00:16:09,929 --> 00:16:11,970 BUT THAT'S BECAUSE EVER SINCE WE SAT DOWN AT THIS TABLE 432 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,892 I HAVE BEEN DYING TO DO SOMETHING. 433 00:16:13,893 --> 00:16:15,014 YOU KNOW WHAT? 434 00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:17,357 I JUST CANNOT WAIT ANY LONGER. 435 00:16:26,196 --> 00:16:28,197 SO MUCH BETTER. 436 00:16:28,198 --> 00:16:30,160 THAT WOBBLING WAS DRIVING ME NUTS. 437 00:16:31,201 --> 00:16:32,782 ME TOO. WOBBLING. 438 00:16:34,574 --> 00:16:36,576 ( sighs ) 439 00:16:41,211 --> 00:16:42,621 HEY, MEL. 440 00:16:42,622 --> 00:16:44,293 ARE YOU OKAY? YOU SEEM A LITTLE QUIET. 441 00:16:44,294 --> 00:16:46,045 OH, I'M FINE. 442 00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:47,926 PERFECTLY PERFECTLY FINE. 443 00:16:47,927 --> 00:16:51,220 DINNER JUST WASN'T EXACTLY WHAT I WAS EXPECTING, THAT'S ALL. 444 00:16:51,221 --> 00:16:52,551 I KNOW. 445 00:16:52,552 --> 00:16:54,593 THE BOUILLABAISSE NOT THE BEST, RIGHT? 446 00:16:54,594 --> 00:16:57,056 WELL, ANYWAY, I MAY HAVE SOMETHING 447 00:16:57,057 --> 00:16:59,398 THAT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL A LITTLE BIT BETTER. 448 00:16:59,399 --> 00:17:01,350 RYDER, LENNOX! 449 00:17:01,351 --> 00:17:03,272 COULD YOU GUYS COME IN HERE, PLEASE? 450 00:17:03,273 --> 00:17:05,444 I HAVE A PRESENTATION I'D LIKE TO MAKE, 451 00:17:05,445 --> 00:17:08,357 AND I'D APPRECIATE IT IF YOU WERE ALL HERE TO WITNESS IT. 452 00:17:08,358 --> 00:17:10,199 WHAT'S UP? 453 00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:12,201 THIS IS KIND OF A BIG MOMENT, 454 00:17:12,202 --> 00:17:14,283 AND I THOUGHT IT'D BE BEST TO DO IT HERE 455 00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:15,915 WITH ALL OF US AT OUR HOME. 456 00:17:16,996 --> 00:17:18,287 I'M VERY OLD SCHOOL. 457 00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:20,038 AS YOU KNOW, 458 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,960 I'M A TRADITIONAL GUY. 459 00:17:21,961 --> 00:17:23,292 YES, YOU ARE. 460 00:17:23,293 --> 00:17:24,663 AND I LOVE THAT ABOUT YOU, JOE. 461 00:17:24,664 --> 00:17:26,666 THANK YOU, MEL. THANK YOU. 462 00:17:30,930 --> 00:17:32,801 RYDER, THIS IS FOR YOU. 463 00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:35,304 SERIOUSLY? 464 00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:36,635 OH MY GOD, JOE. 465 00:17:36,636 --> 00:17:38,887 THIS IS SO UNEXPECTED. 466 00:17:38,888 --> 00:17:41,019 WELL, I KNOW YOU'RE... 467 00:17:41,020 --> 00:17:42,351 OUT THERE LOOKING FOR A JOB. 468 00:17:42,352 --> 00:17:43,892 AND ONE DAY WHEN YOU FIND THAT JOB 469 00:17:43,893 --> 00:17:45,274 YOU'RE GONNA NEED TO BE THERE ON TIME. 470 00:17:45,275 --> 00:17:47,736 KIDS LOOK AT THEIR PHONES. 471 00:17:47,737 --> 00:17:51,110 BUT MEN LOOK AT THEIR WATCHES. 472 00:17:51,111 --> 00:17:52,281 WOW. 473 00:17:52,282 --> 00:17:53,283 THANK YOU, JOE. AUNT MEL, LOOK. 474 00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:57,326 YEAH YEAH. THAT'S REAL NICE. 475 00:17:57,327 --> 00:17:59,077 MEL, I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 476 00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:01,330 I JUST GAVE RYDER A VERY EXPENSIVE WATCH AND YOU ACT LIKE IT'S NOTHING. 477 00:18:01,331 --> 00:18:02,461 NO, IT'S NOT NOTHING. 478 00:18:02,462 --> 00:18:04,543 IT'S A BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF JEWELRY. 479 00:18:04,544 --> 00:18:06,546 FOR RYDER, WHO DROPS THINGS IN THE TOILET! 480 00:18:09,048 --> 00:18:11,380 WHAT'S WRONG, HONEY? 481 00:18:11,381 --> 00:18:13,302 I JUST FEEL LIKE SUCH A MORON! 482 00:18:13,303 --> 00:18:15,053 YOU TOOK ME TO THE MOST ROMANTIC RESTAURANT 483 00:18:15,054 --> 00:18:16,975 IN ALL OF TOLEDO AT SUNSET, 484 00:18:16,976 --> 00:18:18,927 FOR THE BOUILLABAISSE. 485 00:18:18,928 --> 00:18:20,599 THEN YOU PAID THE ACCORDION GUY 486 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,271 TO NOT PLAY A ROMANTIC SONG, 487 00:18:22,272 --> 00:18:24,102 AND THEN YOU GOT DOWN ON ONE KNEE, 488 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,025 AND ADJUSTED THE FREAKING TABLE! 489 00:18:27,187 --> 00:18:30,609 THE WHOLE NIGHT I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA PROPOSE TO ME. 490 00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:33,572 OH MY GOSH. THAT WAS SO INSENSITIVE OF ME. 491 00:18:33,573 --> 00:18:35,404 I SHOULD HAVE PUT TWO-AND-TWO TOGETHER. 492 00:18:35,405 --> 00:18:38,617 OF COURSE, I TAKE YOU OUT TO THAT AMAZING RESTAURANT 493 00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:41,620 AND OH, WE COME HOME AND I PULL THIS BAG OUT 494 00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:43,202 AND I PULL A BOX OUT OF IT. 495 00:18:43,203 --> 00:18:45,123 BUT THE BOX IS NOT FOR YOU, IT'S FOR RYDER. 496 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,125 AND THE WHOLE TIME YOU'RE THINKING I'M GONNA PROPOSE TO YOU, 497 00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:48,837 AND THAT IS JUST... WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT'S THIS? 498 00:18:48,838 --> 00:18:49,959 ( gasps ) 499 00:18:52,592 --> 00:18:54,964 OKAY, BE QUIET. I'M FILMING. 500 00:18:56,596 --> 00:18:59,017 MEL, 501 00:18:59,018 --> 00:19:01,600 EVER SINCE WE FIRST MET, 502 00:19:01,601 --> 00:19:04,183 WE HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT DISAGREE 503 00:19:04,184 --> 00:19:06,396 AND ARGUE AND FIGHT. 504 00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:09,438 YOU NEVER MISS AN OPPORTUNITY 505 00:19:09,439 --> 00:19:12,030 TO TELL ME WHEN I'M DOING SOMETHING WRONG 506 00:19:12,031 --> 00:19:13,613 EVERY SINGLE TIME I DO IT. 507 00:19:15,535 --> 00:19:17,406 AND I'M A BETTER MAN FOR IT. 508 00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:20,739 ( chuckles ) 509 00:19:20,740 --> 00:19:24,203 I CAN'T IMAGINE MY LIFE WITHOUT YOU IN IT. 510 00:19:24,204 --> 00:19:26,205 AND IF YOU STICK WITH ME, 511 00:19:26,206 --> 00:19:29,127 I PROMISE YOU I WILL SPEND THE REST OF MY DAYS 512 00:19:29,128 --> 00:19:30,709 DOING EVERYTHING I CAN TO MAKE SURE YOU ARE 513 00:19:30,710 --> 00:19:32,252 THE HAPPIEST WOMAN ON THIS EARTH. 514 00:19:36,055 --> 00:19:37,217 SO... 515 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:42,472 MEL BURKE, 516 00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:46,436 WILL YOU MARRY ME? 517 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,402 YES, YOU JACKASS. 518 00:20:05,745 --> 00:20:06,955 SO YOU WERE REALLY SURPRISED? 519 00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:09,328 YES. THAT WAS VERY SWEET. 520 00:20:09,329 --> 00:20:11,670 AND NEVER DO THAT AGAIN. 521 00:20:11,671 --> 00:20:14,503 WELL, PROPOSING TO YOU THE RIGHT WAY MEANT A LOT TO ME. 522 00:20:14,504 --> 00:20:17,296 AND YOU KNOW, I MAY ACTUALLY HAVE ANOTHER LITTLE SURPRISE UP MY SLEEVE. 523 00:20:17,297 --> 00:20:19,548 OH, YEAH? IS THERE ANOTHER WOBBLY TABLE THAT NEEDS FIXING? 524 00:20:19,549 --> 00:20:21,391 MAYBE. 525 00:20:24,604 --> 00:20:26,606 ( jazz music playing ) 526 00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:32,731 OH, JOE. IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 527 00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:34,153 MAY I HAVE THIS DANCE? 528 00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:37,065 OKAY, SO. 529 00:20:37,066 --> 00:20:39,318 I HAVE ANOTHER SURPRISE FOR YOU. 530 00:20:39,319 --> 00:20:41,159 OH, I DON'T KNOW. 531 00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:43,662 THAT FIRST ONE KIND OF FINISHED ME OFF. 532 00:20:43,663 --> 00:20:45,824 OH, YEAH? WELL, ARE YOU READY? 533 00:20:45,825 --> 00:20:47,496 BECAUSE HERE IT IS. 534 00:20:47,497 --> 00:20:49,077 I ACCEPT YOUR PROPOSAL. 535 00:20:49,078 --> 00:20:50,459 MY WHAT? 536 00:20:50,460 --> 00:20:53,332 I GOT THE RIGHT GIRL, WHY WAIT? 537 00:20:53,333 --> 00:20:55,424 LET'S GET MARRIED AT THE ARBORETUM ON THE 23rd. 538 00:20:55,425 --> 00:20:57,006 YOU MEAN, GET IT OVER WITH? 539 00:20:58,047 --> 00:20:59,338 OH, JOE. I'VE BEEN WAITING 540 00:20:59,339 --> 00:21:01,340 TO HEAR YOU SAY THOSE WORDS. 541 00:21:01,341 --> 00:21:03,722 BUT WHAT IF I TOLD YOU 542 00:21:03,723 --> 00:21:05,724 I LET THE RESERVATION GO? 543 00:21:05,725 --> 00:21:06,885 NO, YOU DIDN'T. 544 00:21:06,886 --> 00:21:08,727 NO, I DIDN'T. 545 00:21:08,728 --> 00:21:11,310 SUCKER! YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED IN FOUR WEEKS. 546 00:21:11,311 --> 00:21:12,811 SO ARE YOU, BABY. 547 00:21:12,812 --> 00:21:14,232 HOLY CRAP! 548 00:21:14,233 --> 00:21:16,154 I'M GETTING MARRIED IN FOUR WEEKS?! 549 00:21:16,155 --> 00:21:18,157 I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO! 550 00:21:22,902 --> 00:21:24,784 THAT WAS $400 WELL SPENT.