1 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:11,091 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. HONEY, HONEY. 2 00:00:11,092 --> 00:00:12,432 HONEY, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 3 00:00:12,433 --> 00:00:13,933 EVEN THOUGH WE'RE COMING BACK FROM THE HOSPITAL, 4 00:00:13,934 --> 00:00:15,805 TECHNICALLY WE ARE STILL COMING BACK FROM OUR WEDDING, 5 00:00:15,806 --> 00:00:17,267 AND THERE ARE TRADITIONS. 6 00:00:17,268 --> 00:00:18,518 WHICH CAN WAIT. 7 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,640 NO. UNH-UH. NOPE. SORRY. 8 00:00:20,641 --> 00:00:24,904 THIS NEW HUSBAND WILL NOW CARRY HIS NEW WIFE OVER THE THRESHOLD. 9 00:00:24,905 --> 00:00:26,447 BUT I REALLY GOT TO PEE. 10 00:00:28,699 --> 00:00:30,110 SO I WON'T PICK YOU UP BY THE BLADDER. 11 00:00:30,111 --> 00:00:31,651 HERE WE GO. READY? 1, 2, 3! 12 00:00:31,652 --> 00:00:32,652 OH! WHOA! OH! 13 00:00:32,653 --> 00:00:33,653 HERE WE GO. OKAY, READY? 14 00:00:33,654 --> 00:00:34,654 - OKAY. - YEAH. 15 00:00:34,655 --> 00:00:35,825 OH! AHH! 16 00:00:35,826 --> 00:00:36,826 OH! 17 00:00:36,827 --> 00:00:37,827 YOU CALL THAT CAREFUL? 18 00:00:37,828 --> 00:00:39,419 PUT ME DOWN, PLEASE. 19 00:00:39,420 --> 00:00:42,832 NO. WE'RE DOING THIS. 20 00:00:42,833 --> 00:00:44,425 THERE ARE OTHER THRESHOLDS IN THIS HOUSE. 21 00:00:46,006 --> 00:00:47,006 AHH! 22 00:00:47,007 --> 00:00:48,839 YEAH! TA-DA! 23 00:00:53,224 --> 00:00:54,344 WASN'T THAT ROMANTIC? 24 00:00:54,345 --> 00:00:56,387 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. I GOT TO PEE SO BAD. 25 00:00:57,848 --> 00:00:58,848 IN 20 YEARS, YOU'RE GOING TO BE 26 00:00:58,849 --> 00:00:59,939 VERY HAPPY THAT I JUST DID THAT. 27 00:00:59,940 --> 00:01:00,940 NO, I WON'T. 28 00:01:00,941 --> 00:01:02,442 - YEAH, YOU WILL. - WILL NOT. 29 00:01:02,443 --> 00:01:03,893 ( mouths ) 30 00:01:03,894 --> 00:01:06,066 I HEARD THAT! 31 00:01:08,109 --> 00:01:10,400 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD ♪ - ♪ All good ♪ 32 00:01:10,401 --> 00:01:12,112 - ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪ - ♪ OKAY ♪ 33 00:01:12,113 --> 00:01:13,903 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT ♪ - ♪ All right ♪ 34 00:01:13,904 --> 00:01:15,405 ♪ AS FAR AS I CAN SEE ♪ 35 00:01:15,406 --> 00:01:17,197 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD ♪ - ♪ All good ♪ 36 00:01:17,198 --> 00:01:19,499 - ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪ - ♪ OKAY ♪ 37 00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:20,790 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT ♪ - ♪ All right ♪ 38 00:01:20,791 --> 00:01:26,627 ♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK WITH ME ♪ 39 00:01:29,420 --> 00:01:31,211 Melissa: I HAD TO TOAST MY OWN BAGEL! 40 00:01:31,212 --> 00:01:33,263 OH, THANK YOU, EVERYBODY, 41 00:01:33,264 --> 00:01:34,424 FOR HELPING THE CRIPPLED BRIDE! 42 00:01:34,425 --> 00:01:37,017 OH, I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH. 43 00:01:40,431 --> 00:01:41,892 WHERE'S MY COFFEE? 44 00:01:43,023 --> 00:01:45,226 OH, DAMN. 45 00:01:48,028 --> 00:01:49,399 HEY, LOOK AT YOU GETTING AROUND LIKE A PRO. 46 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:51,231 I TRIED TO SCRATCH MY KNEE 47 00:01:51,232 --> 00:01:53,993 AND I GOT A FORK STUCK DOWN THERE. 48 00:01:53,994 --> 00:01:55,195 I GUESS THAT MEANS YOU'RE DONE. 49 00:01:55,196 --> 00:01:56,367 OH! 50 00:01:58,909 --> 00:02:00,039 WELL, GET READY TO LOVE ME, 51 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:01,040 BECAUSE I JUST GOT US 52 00:02:01,041 --> 00:02:02,622 A FULL REFUND FOR OUR HONEYMOON. 53 00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:03,833 THAT'S RIGHT, BABY. YEAH. 54 00:02:03,834 --> 00:02:05,835 HOTEL, AIRFARE... THE WORKS, ALL RIGHT? 55 00:02:05,836 --> 00:02:06,916 AND IF I RECALL, 56 00:02:06,917 --> 00:02:08,298 A CERTAIN PERSON HERE IN THE KITCHEN 57 00:02:08,299 --> 00:02:10,009 LAUGHED AT ME FOR BUYING TRIP INSURANCE. 58 00:02:10,010 --> 00:02:11,961 SO A LATTE A DAY. 59 00:02:11,962 --> 00:02:14,133 YAY FOR US. WE'RE NOT GOING TO TAHITI. 60 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,425 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? 61 00:02:15,426 --> 00:02:17,217 LET'S TAKE A PICTURE IN FRONT OF THE REFUND CHECK 62 00:02:17,218 --> 00:02:19,889 POST IT, AND MAKE ALL OF OUR FRIENDS JEALOUS. 63 00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:22,432 I KNOW YOU'RE DISAPPOINTED WE CAN'T GO ON THE HONEYMOON, 64 00:02:22,433 --> 00:02:23,433 BUT I PROMISE YOU, 65 00:02:23,434 --> 00:02:24,814 WHEN YOU'RE UP AND RUNNING AT 100%, 66 00:02:24,815 --> 00:02:26,816 I'M GOING TO TAKE YOU ON THAT HONEYMOON, OKAY? 67 00:02:26,817 --> 00:02:28,228 ALONG WITH ALL THE EXCITING THINGS 68 00:02:28,229 --> 00:02:30,480 THAT HAPPEN ON A HONEYMOON. 69 00:02:30,481 --> 00:02:33,443 OH, I'M NOT WAITING ANOTHER FOUR WEEKS FOR THAT. 70 00:02:33,444 --> 00:02:34,824 I WANT IT NOW. 71 00:02:34,825 --> 00:02:35,776 THIS MARRIAGE NEEDS 72 00:02:35,777 --> 00:02:36,946 TO BE CONSUMMATED. 73 00:02:36,947 --> 00:02:38,198 ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO UPSTAIRS. 74 00:02:38,199 --> 00:02:39,829 NO. THIS IS NOT TAHITI. 75 00:02:39,830 --> 00:02:42,622 THIS IS HARDLY A ROMANTIC SETTING. 76 00:02:42,623 --> 00:02:44,454 WELL, LET'S CHANGE ALL THAT, SEXY MAMA. 77 00:02:44,455 --> 00:02:47,417 COME ON. OOH. DO YOU FEEL THAT? 78 00:02:47,418 --> 00:02:48,548 DO YOU FEEL THAT WARM, 79 00:02:48,549 --> 00:02:50,090 TROPICAL, ROMANTIC BREEZE? 80 00:02:53,554 --> 00:02:55,004 BRING IT IN. COME ON. 81 00:02:55,005 --> 00:02:56,426 ( alarm beeping ) 82 00:02:56,427 --> 00:02:58,798 IS THAT THE SMOKE ALARM? WHAT IS IT? 83 00:02:58,799 --> 00:03:00,099 THAT WOULD BE THE TOASTER. 84 00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:01,971 SEE, AND THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS TO A TOASTER 85 00:03:01,972 --> 00:03:04,013 WHEN SOMEBODY DOESN'T TAKE THE CRUMBS OUT OF THE BOTTOM OF IT. 86 00:03:04,014 --> 00:03:06,015 OH, WOW. THAT WAS SO HOT. 87 00:03:06,016 --> 00:03:07,977 LECTURE ME AGAIN, BAD BOY. 88 00:03:07,978 --> 00:03:09,229 ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT. FINE. 89 00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:10,900 IT'S NOT IMPORTANT. IT'S JUST A TOASTER. 90 00:03:10,901 --> 00:03:12,652 THERE ARE WAY MORE IMPORTANT THINGS, 91 00:03:12,653 --> 00:03:15,405 LIKE, UM, YOU KNOW, HOW WELL YOU'RE DOING, 92 00:03:15,406 --> 00:03:16,986 BECAUSE YOU HAVE HAD ONE HECK OF A WEEK. 93 00:03:16,987 --> 00:03:18,818 I MEAN, DREAM WEDDING INTERRUPTED, 94 00:03:18,819 --> 00:03:20,410 MY DAUGHTER MOVING IN WITH US. 95 00:03:20,411 --> 00:03:21,621 YOU FALLING OFF THE ROOF. 96 00:03:21,622 --> 00:03:23,122 US HAVING TO GET MARRIED IN A HOSPITAL. 97 00:03:23,123 --> 00:03:24,454 AND YOU KNOW WHAT? THROUGH IT ALL, SWEETIE, 98 00:03:24,455 --> 00:03:26,035 SOMEHOW YOU MANAGED TO MAINTAIN YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR. 99 00:03:26,036 --> 00:03:28,918 AND I LOOK FABULOUS. 100 00:03:28,919 --> 00:03:30,250 YEAH, THAT GOES WITHOUT SAYING. 101 00:03:30,251 --> 00:03:33,793 I MEAN... THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T SAY IT. 102 00:03:33,794 --> 00:03:35,835 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT WE NEED TO DO RIGHT NOW? 103 00:03:35,836 --> 00:03:37,467 WE NEED TO TAKE CARE OF YOU. 104 00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:39,640 COME ON. BRING IT IN. 105 00:03:40,801 --> 00:03:43,222 JOE! JOE! THE TOILET'S OVERFLOWING! 106 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,935 ALL I DID WAS FLUSH IT. NOT MY FAULT. 107 00:03:45,936 --> 00:03:47,727 DID YOU JIGGLE THE HANDLE FIRST, HONEY? 108 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:48,728 YOU GOT TO JIGGLE THE HANDLE FIRST. 109 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:49,849 HEY, I'M NEW HERE. 110 00:03:49,850 --> 00:03:50,811 I DON'T KNOW HOW YOUR TOILETS WORK. 111 00:03:50,812 --> 00:03:52,442 DANI, YOU GOT TO JIGGLE THE HANDLE! 112 00:03:52,443 --> 00:03:54,944 I TOLD YOU THAT STUFF'S GOING TO GET EVERYWHERE! 113 00:03:54,945 --> 00:03:55,906 I'LL GET THE PLUNGER! 114 00:03:55,907 --> 00:03:58,859 IT'S THE HONEYMOON I ALWAYS DREAMED OF. 115 00:03:59,780 --> 00:04:01,412 OH, THE FREAKING FORK! 116 00:04:03,784 --> 00:04:06,205 NICE VIEW OF THE HILLS. 117 00:04:06,206 --> 00:04:07,957 SHH! SOMEONE MIGHT HEAR. 118 00:04:07,958 --> 00:04:09,789 OKAY, BUT WE'RE A COUPLE NOW. 119 00:04:09,790 --> 00:04:12,332 THAT'S CUTE COUPLE BANTER. 120 00:04:12,333 --> 00:04:14,834 LOOK, WHATEVER WE ARE, NO ONE NEEDS TO KNOW. 121 00:04:14,835 --> 00:04:15,835 COME ON! LET'S TELL THEM! 122 00:04:15,836 --> 00:04:17,797 MARCO, WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS. 123 00:04:17,798 --> 00:04:20,800 IF YOUR UNCLE JOE FINDS OUT, HE WILL KILL YOU. 124 00:04:20,801 --> 00:04:22,011 AND IF WE TELL MY AUNT MEL, 125 00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:24,594 SHE'LL TELL JOE, AND HE WILL KILL YOU. 126 00:04:24,595 --> 00:04:25,805 NAH. HE WON'T. 127 00:04:25,806 --> 00:04:26,806 HE WAS TELLING ME THIS MORNING 128 00:04:26,807 --> 00:04:28,308 HOW GLAD HE IS TO HAVE ME AROUND. 129 00:04:28,309 --> 00:04:30,229 BECAUSE HE THINKS YOU STAYED IN TOWN TO HELP OUT, 130 00:04:30,230 --> 00:04:31,651 BUY GROCERIES. 131 00:04:31,652 --> 00:04:33,022 HE THINKS ALL YOU'RE DOING IS ERRANDS, 132 00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:36,816 NOT, YOU KNOW, ME. 133 00:04:36,817 --> 00:04:40,610 AND HAVE I BEEN HELPFUL WITH THE GROCERIES? 134 00:04:40,611 --> 00:04:42,612 IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 135 00:04:42,613 --> 00:04:43,823 YES, I DO. 136 00:04:43,824 --> 00:04:46,786 AND RESTOCKING SHELVES THIS MORNING, 137 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:49,248 DID YOU LIKE THAT? 138 00:04:49,249 --> 00:04:51,411 OKAY, STOP IT. 139 00:04:51,412 --> 00:04:53,673 IT'S JUST TOO RISKY TO LET PEOPLE KNOW. 140 00:04:53,674 --> 00:04:55,625 WHAT'S TOO RISKY? 141 00:04:55,626 --> 00:04:56,966 WHERE DID YOU COME FROM? 142 00:04:56,967 --> 00:04:59,419 A ONE-NIGHT STAND BETWEEN JOE AND MY MOM. 143 00:04:59,420 --> 00:05:00,421 BUT YOU KNOW THAT. 144 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:04,013 NOW, TELL ME WHAT'S TOO RISKY. 145 00:05:04,014 --> 00:05:05,845 OKAY, NO ONE KNOWS THIS YET, 146 00:05:05,846 --> 00:05:08,519 - BUT LENNOX AND I... - HAVE PSORIASIS. 147 00:05:10,140 --> 00:05:11,811 - REALLY? - YES. 148 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:14,233 OH. ITCHY, ITCHY PSORIASIS. 149 00:05:14,234 --> 00:05:16,025 AND WE'RE JUST NOT COMFORTABLE 150 00:05:16,026 --> 00:05:18,197 TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT IT. 151 00:05:18,198 --> 00:05:20,780 - RIGHT, MARCO? - THAT'S RIGHT. 152 00:05:20,781 --> 00:05:24,615 WE SCRATCH EACH OTHER SECRETLY. 153 00:05:26,657 --> 00:05:28,748 OKAY, JUST PUT THE GROCERIES AWAY. 154 00:05:28,749 --> 00:05:29,999 WHY DON'T WE BOTH PUT THEM AWAY? 155 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,912 THEN WE CAN GO BACK TO SCRATCHING EACH OTHER. 156 00:05:32,913 --> 00:05:34,794 I DON'T ITCH RIGHT NOW. 157 00:05:34,795 --> 00:05:38,007 MAYBE WE CAN PUT AWAY A COUPLE CANS OF SOUP, 158 00:05:38,008 --> 00:05:39,299 SEE WHAT HAPPENS. 159 00:05:42,222 --> 00:05:43,843 AUNT MEL, I NEED TO TALK. 160 00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,845 - I'VE GOT A PROBLEM. - OH, ME TOO. 161 00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:46,847 PAINT MY TOES. 162 00:05:48,429 --> 00:05:51,020 OKAY, IT'S ABOUT A RELATIONSHIP, AND IT'S COMPLICATED. 163 00:05:51,021 --> 00:05:53,022 OH! YOU'RE GETTING BACK TOGETHER WITH ZANDER! 164 00:05:53,023 --> 00:05:54,644 SO THAT THING AT THE WEDDING WAS JUST A LITTLE TIFF? 165 00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:56,646 - I KNEW IT. - ARE YOU KIDDING? 166 00:05:56,647 --> 00:05:58,237 ZANDER AND I ARE OVER FOREVER. 167 00:05:58,238 --> 00:05:59,899 AS IT SHOULD BE. 168 00:05:59,900 --> 00:06:01,401 I MEAN, WE WERE BARELY BROKEN UP 169 00:06:01,402 --> 00:06:03,192 AND HE GOES OFF AND SLEEPS WITH ONE OF HIS ROOMMATES. 170 00:06:03,193 --> 00:06:05,194 WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? I CAN DO THE SAME THING. 171 00:06:05,195 --> 00:06:07,617 - SO I DID. - OOH, REBOUND FLING? 172 00:06:07,618 --> 00:06:08,698 THOSE CAN BE SO HOT. 173 00:06:08,699 --> 00:06:09,789 OH, YEAH. 174 00:06:09,790 --> 00:06:10,790 OH, I BET I KNOW WHO IT IS. 175 00:06:10,791 --> 00:06:12,121 YOU DON'T KNOW HIM. 176 00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:13,413 I BET IT'S THAT NORWEGIAN EXCHANGE STUDENT 177 00:06:13,414 --> 00:06:14,834 WHO DROVE YOU HOME LAST WEEK. 178 00:06:14,835 --> 00:06:15,995 TORBETT, RIGHT? 179 00:06:15,996 --> 00:06:18,207 YES, TORBETT, 180 00:06:18,208 --> 00:06:20,671 WITH HIS SPICY NORWEGIAN BLOOD. 181 00:06:21,802 --> 00:06:23,423 BUT HERE'S THE PROBLEM. 182 00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:24,844 TORBETT WANTS TO BE MY BOYFRIEND, 183 00:06:24,845 --> 00:06:26,926 OUT IN THE OPEN, FULL-TIME. 184 00:06:26,927 --> 00:06:28,558 AND YOU DON'T THINK HE'S BOYFRIEND MATERIAL? 185 00:06:28,559 --> 00:06:30,009 HE'S NOT. 186 00:06:30,010 --> 00:06:32,432 WE'RE JUST TOO... DIFFERENT. 187 00:06:32,433 --> 00:06:34,774 BUT HOW DO YOU TELL A GUY THAT WITHOUT HURTING HIM? 188 00:06:34,775 --> 00:06:37,016 YOU JUST GOT TO BE HONEST WITH HIM. 189 00:06:37,017 --> 00:06:38,858 I WANT TO, BUT THEN HE TAKES HIS SHIRT OFF, 190 00:06:38,859 --> 00:06:40,820 AND I FORGET WHAT I'M GOING TO SAY. 191 00:06:40,821 --> 00:06:43,282 YEAH, I AM FAMILIAR WITH SIX-PACK AMNESIA. 192 00:06:43,283 --> 00:06:44,984 BOTH KINDS. 193 00:06:44,985 --> 00:06:47,196 BUT, YOU KNOW, IN MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, 194 00:06:47,197 --> 00:06:50,409 I HAVE LEARNED THAT MEN HAVE FEELINGS, TOO, 195 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:51,701 AND YOU CAN'T LEAD THEM ON. 196 00:06:51,702 --> 00:06:52,992 SO BREAK UP WITH HIM? 197 00:06:52,993 --> 00:06:54,494 - YES. - IS THAT WHAT YOU WOULD DO? 198 00:06:54,495 --> 00:06:56,415 NO. 199 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:57,798 AND THAT'S HOW I KNOW IT'S THE RIGHT THING. 200 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,003 - HEY! - HEY. 201 00:07:04,004 --> 00:07:05,845 WAIT A MINUTE. YOU WERE OUT BY YOURSELF? 202 00:07:05,846 --> 00:07:07,096 I THOUGHT YOU WERE UPSTAIRS RESTING. 203 00:07:07,097 --> 00:07:09,218 NOPE. I WAS ON A MISSION OF LOVE. 204 00:07:09,219 --> 00:07:10,680 I UBER'ED TO THE DOCTOR, 205 00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:13,222 AND GOT MYSELF THIS LITTLE MINI! 206 00:07:13,223 --> 00:07:15,855 WELL, LOOK AT THAT. IT'S FUN-SIZED. 207 00:07:15,856 --> 00:07:16,856 YEAH! 208 00:07:16,857 --> 00:07:18,017 FUN IS RIGHT, 209 00:07:18,018 --> 00:07:21,561 BECAUSE NOW EVERYTHING IS MORE, MMM, ACCESSIBLE. 210 00:07:21,562 --> 00:07:22,862 THAT'S GOING TO BE VERY HELPFUL. 211 00:07:22,863 --> 00:07:24,774 LISTEN, I KNOW HOW DISAPPOINTED YOU'VE BEEN 212 00:07:24,775 --> 00:07:25,985 ABOUT THE HONEYMOON, OKAY? 213 00:07:25,986 --> 00:07:28,778 BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW ALL THAT HAS NOW BEEN FIXED, 214 00:07:28,779 --> 00:07:30,620 BY ME, FOR YOU... 215 00:07:30,621 --> 00:07:32,411 MRS. LONGO. 216 00:07:32,412 --> 00:07:34,704 WHOA. WHO SAID I'M MRS. LONGO? 217 00:07:34,705 --> 00:07:37,577 MRS. MEL MY NEW WIFE. 218 00:07:37,578 --> 00:07:40,419 YOU ARE GETTING THAT ROMANTIC GETAWAY AFTER ALL. 219 00:07:40,420 --> 00:07:43,212 I FOUND US AN INCREDIBLE LAST-MINUTE HONEYMOON DEAL. 220 00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:44,343 WHERE? 221 00:07:44,344 --> 00:07:46,425 INCREDIBLE-LAST-MINUTE HONEYMOON-DEALS-DOT.COM. 222 00:07:46,426 --> 00:07:48,848 "SECLUDED CABINS, FIREPLACES, 223 00:07:48,849 --> 00:07:50,349 "PANORAMIC VIEWS OF LAKE EERIE." 224 00:07:50,350 --> 00:07:51,681 JOE, IT LOOKS SO PRETTY, 225 00:07:51,682 --> 00:07:54,093 BUT CAN WE REALLY JUST UP AND GO AWAY RIGHT NOW? 226 00:07:54,094 --> 00:07:55,645 YES, WE CAN. 227 00:07:55,646 --> 00:07:56,806 LOOK, RYDER'S GOING TO BE AT HIS FRIEND'S HOUSE ALL WEEK 228 00:07:56,807 --> 00:07:58,437 'CAUSE HE THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO BE IN TAHITI. 229 00:07:58,438 --> 00:08:02,021 OKAY, NEVER SAY TAHITI UNLESS WE ARE STANDING ON IT. 230 00:08:02,022 --> 00:08:04,403 MY POINT IS, HE'S TAKEN CARE OF. 231 00:08:04,404 --> 00:08:06,606 WELL, WHAT ABOUT DANI? SHE'S BRAND NEW IN THE HOUSE. 232 00:08:06,607 --> 00:08:08,659 SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW WE USE OUR TOILETS. 233 00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:11,410 SHE'S GOT A LITTLE BIT OF A TROUBLED PAST. 234 00:08:11,411 --> 00:08:13,242 ARE YOU SURE WE CAN LEAVE HER HERE UNSUPERVISED? 235 00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:14,874 WE'RE NOT GOING TO BE LEAVING HER HERE UNSUPERVISED 236 00:08:14,875 --> 00:08:15,875 BECAUSE... 237 00:08:15,876 --> 00:08:17,416 REMEMBER WHEN I HAD THAT SECURITY COMPANY 238 00:08:17,417 --> 00:08:19,118 COME OVER HERE AND INSTALL THOSE CAMERAS? 239 00:08:19,119 --> 00:08:21,000 I FINALLY DOWNLOADED THE APP UP ON MY PHONE, 240 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,622 SO NOW WE CAN CHECK IN AND SEE WHAT'S GOING ON 241 00:08:22,623 --> 00:08:23,793 IN THIS HOUSE WHENEVER WE WANT. 242 00:08:23,794 --> 00:08:25,424 WATCH THIS. THERE WE GO. 243 00:08:25,425 --> 00:08:27,426 HI. HEY. HEY, EVERYBODY. 244 00:08:27,427 --> 00:08:29,428 HI. IT'S US. 245 00:08:29,429 --> 00:08:30,930 HEY, DID YOU PUT ONE OF THESE IN OUR BEDROOM? 246 00:08:30,931 --> 00:08:32,842 - NO. - COULD YOU? 247 00:08:32,843 --> 00:08:34,134 ALREADY DID, BABY. 248 00:08:35,395 --> 00:08:36,636 YEAH! 249 00:08:36,637 --> 00:08:38,638 SO NOT ONLY DO WE HAVE THE CAMERAS, 250 00:08:38,639 --> 00:08:40,229 BUT SHE'S ALSO GOING TO HAVE TWO CHAPERONES HERE. 251 00:08:40,230 --> 00:08:42,021 SHE'S GOT, FOR THE BRAWN, MARCO, 252 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,402 AND FOR THE BRAINS, 253 00:08:43,403 --> 00:08:44,774 THE MOST RESPONSIBLE GIRL IN THE WHOLE WORLD. 254 00:08:44,775 --> 00:08:45,946 LENNOX! 255 00:08:47,778 --> 00:08:50,990 - LENNOX! - WHAT? WHAT? 256 00:08:50,991 --> 00:08:51,991 Joey: COULD YOU COME DOWN HERE FOR A SECOND? 257 00:08:51,992 --> 00:08:53,322 WE NEED TO TALK! 258 00:08:53,323 --> 00:08:55,616 TELL HIM YOU'RE BUSY. 259 00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,869 NO. PUT YOUR SHIRT ON. 260 00:08:59,870 --> 00:09:01,210 I'LL BE RIGHT THERE. 261 00:09:01,211 --> 00:09:03,423 YOU... THAT SHIRT NEVER COMES OFF AGAIN. 262 00:09:06,627 --> 00:09:08,838 ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS ARE IN CHARGE UNTIL WE GET BACK. 263 00:09:08,839 --> 00:09:10,970 THIS SHOULD BE ENOUGH TO COVER ALL THE MEALS. 264 00:09:10,971 --> 00:09:12,802 AUNT MEL, THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO USE CASH ANYMORE 265 00:09:12,803 --> 00:09:15,434 ARE DRUG DEALERS AND THE TOOTH FAIRY. 266 00:09:15,435 --> 00:09:17,847 WHAT KIND OF KID TURNS DOWN MONEY? 267 00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:20,439 OH, I'M TAKING IT. I'M JUST BEING SNARKY ABOUT IT. 268 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:22,982 MARCO, MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL. 269 00:09:22,983 --> 00:09:25,445 THERE IS NO OTHER REASON I'M HERE. 270 00:09:26,987 --> 00:09:27,987 SO, DANI, LISTEN, HONEY. 271 00:09:27,988 --> 00:09:29,989 I LEFT THE NUMBER TO THE INN ON THE FRIDGE. 272 00:09:29,990 --> 00:09:32,111 WHY WOULDN'T I JUST CALL YOUR CELL PHONE? 273 00:09:32,112 --> 00:09:33,823 WELL, IN CASE THERE'S A METEOR SHOWER 274 00:09:33,824 --> 00:09:35,324 AND IT KNOCKS OUT ALL THE CELLULAR TRANSMISSION. 275 00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:36,616 OH, WELL, THEN WE'LL BE OKAY 276 00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:38,959 WITH OUR $40 CASH UNTIL THE ZOMBIES ATTACK. 277 00:09:40,410 --> 00:09:42,461 I LEFT MY PAINKILLERS UPSTAIRS. 278 00:09:42,462 --> 00:09:43,623 OH, I'LL GET THEM FOR YOU. 279 00:09:43,624 --> 00:09:45,164 OH, THANKS, SWEETHEART. 280 00:09:45,165 --> 00:09:48,207 OH, AND I COUNTED THEM! 281 00:09:48,208 --> 00:09:49,799 SO DID YOU BREAK UP WITH TORBETT YET? 282 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:51,010 OH, I TRIED, 283 00:09:51,011 --> 00:09:52,632 - BUT HE TOOK HIS SHIRT OFF. - YES. 284 00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:56,595 AND FOR EVERY AB, MY I.Q. DROPPED 10 POINTS. 285 00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:59,429 - HE MUST BE REALLY CUTE. - SO CUTE! 286 00:10:01,812 --> 00:10:04,103 - WHO'S CUTE? - OH, YOU ARE, HONEY. 287 00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:05,985 I KNOW THAT. WHAT WERE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT? 288 00:10:05,986 --> 00:10:08,187 OH, SHE'S SEEING THIS BOY AT SCHOOL. 289 00:10:08,188 --> 00:10:09,819 A NORWEGIAN NAMED TORBETT. 290 00:10:09,820 --> 00:10:10,820 APPARENTLY HE'S REALLY HOT, 291 00:10:10,821 --> 00:10:12,401 BUT NOT RIGHT FOR THE LONG TERM. 292 00:10:12,402 --> 00:10:14,193 I MISS WHEN I WAS RUNNING AROUND 293 00:10:14,194 --> 00:10:15,996 WITH SCANDINAVIAN STRANGE. 294 00:10:18,789 --> 00:10:20,119 REALLY? 295 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,580 THAT'S WHAT YOU SAY TO YOUR NEW HUSBAND 296 00:10:21,581 --> 00:10:23,202 RIGHT BEFORE WE'RE ABOUT TO LEAVE ON OUR HONEYMOON? 297 00:10:23,203 --> 00:10:25,005 I NEED THE KEYS, UNCLE JOE. 298 00:10:27,207 --> 00:10:28,838 I'M JUST GLAD SHE'S NOT GOING OUT WITH THAT ONE. 299 00:10:28,839 --> 00:10:30,089 WHY? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR NEPHEW? 300 00:10:30,090 --> 00:10:31,420 WOMEN ARE SO BLIND. 301 00:10:31,421 --> 00:10:32,631 COME ON, HONEY. HE'S A PLAYER. 302 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:33,632 WHAT? HE SEEMS SO SWEET? 303 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:34,924 LIKE ALL GOOD PLAYERS DO. 304 00:10:34,925 --> 00:10:37,847 OH, YEAH? YOU SAY THAT LIKE YOU'RE THE MAYOR OF PLAYERTOWN. 305 00:10:37,848 --> 00:10:40,519 UH-HUH. I SERVED FOR TWO TERMS. 306 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:41,851 LOOK, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BRAG 307 00:10:41,852 --> 00:10:42,852 JUT BECAUSE I HAD A COLORFUL PAST. 308 00:10:42,853 --> 00:10:44,764 I'M NOT. I'M JUST TELLING YOU 309 00:10:44,765 --> 00:10:46,976 THAT WHEN YOU WERE OUT HAVING YOUR INAPPROPRIATE NORDIC BOYFRIENDS, 310 00:10:46,977 --> 00:10:49,608 I WAS, UH... WELL, HOW CAN I PUT THIS? 311 00:10:49,609 --> 00:10:50,770 LET ME SEE. OKAY. 312 00:10:50,771 --> 00:10:53,823 - I WAS UP TO HERE IN... - THANKS. I GOT IT. 313 00:10:53,824 --> 00:10:55,985 LOOK, ALL I'M SAYING IS IF A HOUND LIKE THAT 314 00:10:55,986 --> 00:10:57,907 EVER SO MUCH AS LAID A HAND ON MY PRECIOUS LENNOX, 315 00:10:57,908 --> 00:11:00,159 I SWEAR... THERE HE IS! 316 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,121 HEY! MY FAVORITE NEPHEW. 317 00:11:02,122 --> 00:11:03,833 MARCO, I GOT TO TELL YOU, MAN, 318 00:11:03,834 --> 00:11:04,994 IT'S BEEN REALLY GREAT HAVING YOU AROUND. 319 00:11:04,995 --> 00:11:07,837 HEY, WITH MY NEW AUNT RECUPERATING 320 00:11:07,838 --> 00:11:09,999 AND MY NEW COUSIN NEEDING A LITTLE GUIDANCE, 321 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,211 I'M GLAD TO STICK AROUND AS LONG AS I CAN BE USEFUL. 322 00:11:12,212 --> 00:11:13,843 IT'S WHAT FAMILY DOES. 323 00:11:13,844 --> 00:11:16,846 YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK YOU'RE FINALLY STARTING TO GROW UP, MAN. 324 00:11:16,847 --> 00:11:17,847 GET IN HERE. COME ON. 325 00:11:17,848 --> 00:11:18,848 HEY, HEY! HO! HO! 326 00:11:18,849 --> 00:11:19,850 HEY! 327 00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:23,062 - YOU STILL GOT IT. - DON'T EVER FORGET IT. 328 00:11:23,063 --> 00:11:24,805 LENNOX, WE'RE LEAVING! 329 00:11:26,016 --> 00:11:27,436 SO LISTEN, DANI. 330 00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:28,768 YOU GOT TO LISTEN TO MARCO AND LENNOX FOR THE NEXT THREE DAYS. 331 00:11:28,769 --> 00:11:30,189 HEY, I'LL BE FINE. 332 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,811 I ONCE STAYED A WEEK BY MYSELF 333 00:11:31,812 --> 00:11:33,272 WHEN MY MOM TOOK OFF WITH BRETT MICHAELS. 334 00:11:33,273 --> 00:11:36,776 BRETT MICHAELS? YUM! 335 00:11:36,777 --> 00:11:39,698 REALLY? BRETT MICHAELS? 336 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:43,453 OH, I THOUGHT SHE SAID CINNAMON ROLLS. YUM! 337 00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:48,417 I GOT TO SAY, I'M A LITTLE BUMMED 338 00:11:48,418 --> 00:11:50,209 THAT I JUST GOT HERE AND YOU GUYS ARE ALREADY GOING AWAY. 339 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,381 SWEETHEART, WE'LL BE BACK BEFORE YOU KNOW IT. 340 00:11:52,382 --> 00:11:53,382 BYE. 341 00:11:53,383 --> 00:11:54,383 Joey: BE GOOD. LISTEN TO THEM. 342 00:11:54,384 --> 00:11:55,795 - I LOVE YOU, GUYS. - HEY, KEYS! 343 00:11:55,796 --> 00:11:57,006 OH! 344 00:11:57,007 --> 00:11:58,007 BYE. 345 00:11:58,008 --> 00:11:59,639 I'M REALLY GOING TO MISS YOU! 346 00:12:01,431 --> 00:12:04,934 ALL RIGHT. PARTY TIME! 347 00:12:04,935 --> 00:12:07,016 OH, YEAH. IT'S A HOMEWORK PARTY UPSTAIRS, 348 00:12:07,017 --> 00:12:08,307 AND YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE INVITED. 349 00:12:08,308 --> 00:12:10,189 OH, COME ON, I'M NEW AT THAT SCHOOL. 350 00:12:10,190 --> 00:12:11,190 I STILL GOT TWO MORE WEEKS 351 00:12:11,191 --> 00:12:12,731 BEFORE THEY KNOW I CAN SPEAK ENGLISH. 352 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,613 HOMEWORK, NOW. 353 00:12:14,614 --> 00:12:15,614 - BUT I DON'T NEED... - NO. 354 00:12:15,615 --> 00:12:16,615 - CAN I JUST... - NO. 355 00:12:16,616 --> 00:12:17,988 - MAYBE IF I... - NO. 356 00:12:22,202 --> 00:12:24,414 - NOW THAT SHE'S GONE... - NO. 357 00:12:28,418 --> 00:12:29,458 MARCO... 358 00:12:29,459 --> 00:12:33,502 LENNOX. 359 00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:36,085 WE NEED TO TALK. 360 00:12:36,086 --> 00:12:38,838 AS YOU AND I STRUGGLE TO DEFINE 361 00:12:38,839 --> 00:12:40,429 WHAT WE ARE TO EACH OTHER, 362 00:12:40,430 --> 00:12:42,431 I BELIEVE WHAT I AM TO YOU 363 00:12:42,432 --> 00:12:46,185 IS NEITHER... ANALOGOUS NOR PARALLEL... 364 00:12:46,186 --> 00:12:48,477 YOU'RE CUTE WHEN YOU'RE THINKY. 365 00:12:48,478 --> 00:12:50,940 YOU NEED TO BE SERIOUS. 366 00:12:50,941 --> 00:12:55,395 NO. WHAT I NEED IS KETCHUP. 367 00:12:57,818 --> 00:13:01,030 OH! THIS IS ONE OF MY GOOD SHIRTS. 368 00:13:01,031 --> 00:13:03,363 NO, DON'T! 369 00:13:07,207 --> 00:13:11,620 BEST GROCERY RUN YET. 370 00:13:11,621 --> 00:13:14,623 YEAH. 371 00:13:14,624 --> 00:13:16,836 BUT, UM... 372 00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:18,919 I'M AFRAID THAT WAS THE LAST TIME. 373 00:13:20,220 --> 00:13:21,341 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 374 00:13:24,014 --> 00:13:25,805 I DON'T REALLY WANT A BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW... 375 00:13:28,849 --> 00:13:30,809 AND I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU THAT BEFORE. 376 00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:33,602 MAYBE YOU SHOULD'VE. 377 00:13:33,603 --> 00:13:37,897 IT'S JUST... YOU'RE SO DAMN IRRESISTIBLE. 378 00:13:37,898 --> 00:13:40,609 I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO TAKE THAT. 379 00:13:40,610 --> 00:13:43,402 A COMPLIMENT WRAPPED AROUND A PUT-DOWN. 380 00:13:43,403 --> 00:13:45,495 IT'S LIKE AN INSULT CALZONE. 381 00:13:47,787 --> 00:13:50,749 WHOA HO! I THINK I CAN HANDLE THREE DAYS OF THIS. 382 00:13:50,750 --> 00:13:51,911 HUH? THIS IS AWESOME! 383 00:13:51,912 --> 00:13:53,622 LOOK AT THAT. WE GOT A LAKE VIEW OVER HERE. 384 00:13:53,623 --> 00:13:56,005 WE GOT, UH... 385 00:13:56,006 --> 00:13:57,216 A VIEW OF THE MOUNTAINS OVER THERE. 386 00:13:57,217 --> 00:14:00,379 BUT THE BEST VIEW OF ALL, 387 00:14:00,380 --> 00:14:01,961 THAT WOULD BE RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF ME. 388 00:14:01,962 --> 00:14:04,633 AWW, JOE, I FULLY INTEND TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU. 389 00:14:04,634 --> 00:14:06,555 YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORK SO HARD. 390 00:14:06,556 --> 00:14:08,847 NO, I DO IT FOR ME. 391 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:09,848 I DO LIKE THIS ROOM. 392 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,892 YEAH, WELL, NOTHING BUT THE BEST FOR MRS. LONG... 393 00:14:12,893 --> 00:14:15,394 TERM PARTNER FOREVER. 394 00:14:15,395 --> 00:14:17,106 MM-HMM. 395 00:14:17,107 --> 00:14:19,478 LET'S TAKE THIS NICE AND SLOW, HUH? 396 00:14:19,479 --> 00:14:21,690 SCREW THAT. IT'S CONSUMMATING TIME. 397 00:14:21,691 --> 00:14:22,691 OH, OKAY. I'M DOWN. 398 00:14:22,692 --> 00:14:24,193 YEAH, SURE. LET'S DO IT,. 399 00:14:24,194 --> 00:14:27,196 HO! I LIKE THAT. I LIKE THAT. YEAH! 400 00:14:27,197 --> 00:14:28,988 YOU KNOW WHAT? I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT SOMETHING. 401 00:14:28,989 --> 00:14:30,409 THIS IS GOING TO BE THE FIRST TIME 402 00:14:30,410 --> 00:14:33,872 THAT YOU HAVE EVER HAD SEX WITH A MARRIED GUY. 403 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:36,625 ABSOLUTELY. 404 00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:39,459 THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE EVER DONE THAT. 405 00:14:42,802 --> 00:14:45,134 OOH! IS THIS MARRIED MAN SEX? 406 00:14:45,135 --> 00:14:46,215 SAUCY. 407 00:14:46,216 --> 00:14:48,807 NO, YOU HAD A MOSQUITO ON YOUR BUTT. LOOK. 408 00:14:48,808 --> 00:14:49,808 - HMM. - ( buzzing ) 409 00:14:49,809 --> 00:14:51,850 OOH! ONE ON YOU, TOO. 410 00:14:51,851 --> 00:14:53,812 WHAT THE... WHAT THE... 411 00:14:53,813 --> 00:14:54,893 THEY'RE EVERYWHERE! 412 00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,225 YOU LEFT THE WINDOW OPEN! 413 00:14:56,226 --> 00:14:57,816 I WAS TRYING TO GET SOME FRESH AIR IN HERE! 414 00:14:57,817 --> 00:14:59,979 YOU GOT TO AT LEAST CLOSE THE SCREEN! 415 00:14:59,980 --> 00:15:02,942 OH, GREAT. YOU'RE LOCKING THEM IN HERE WITH US NOW! 416 00:15:02,943 --> 00:15:04,113 YOU'RE THE MAN. START KILLING THEM. 417 00:15:04,114 --> 00:15:06,735 WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M DOING? GIVING THEM HIGH-FIVES? 418 00:15:06,736 --> 00:15:08,787 YOU KNOW WHAT? MAYBE THIS WILL STOP THEM. 419 00:15:08,788 --> 00:15:10,739 WHAT? HONEY, THAT'S SUNSCREEN. 420 00:15:10,740 --> 00:15:12,161 YEAH, MAYBE IT WILL WORK. 421 00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:14,994 OH, NICE. WELL, AT LEAST THEY WON'T GET SKIN CANCER. 422 00:15:14,995 --> 00:15:16,205 HEY, WHAT ARE YOU... 423 00:15:16,206 --> 00:15:18,208 ( both scream ) 424 00:15:23,843 --> 00:15:25,424 BUT WE'RE SO GOOD TOGETHER. 425 00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:27,006 MARCO, I DIDN'T PLAN IT THIS WAY, OKAY? 426 00:15:27,007 --> 00:15:29,008 I'M JUST TRYING TO BE HONEST WITH YOU. 427 00:15:29,009 --> 00:15:31,010 YOU AND I HAVE NO FUTURE AS BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND, 428 00:15:31,011 --> 00:15:32,391 AND THE SOONER WE BOTH ACCEPT THAT... 429 00:15:32,392 --> 00:15:34,353 I JUST FEEL... USED. 430 00:15:34,354 --> 00:15:35,814 THERE YOU GUYS ARE. 431 00:15:35,815 --> 00:15:37,606 I WAS YELLING UPSTAIRS AND NOBODY ANSWERED. 432 00:15:37,607 --> 00:15:39,979 WHAT WERE YOU GUYS DOING? 433 00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:42,481 - GROCERIES. - SCRATCHING. 434 00:15:42,482 --> 00:15:45,614 INTERESTING. 435 00:15:45,615 --> 00:15:47,776 ANYWAY, WHAT I WAS YELLING ABOUT WAS DINNER. 436 00:15:47,777 --> 00:15:49,408 WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH THAT? 437 00:15:49,409 --> 00:15:52,411 UM... OH, I THINK WE HAVE LEFTOVER PIZZA. 438 00:15:52,412 --> 00:15:53,742 WE DO. WE DO. 439 00:15:53,743 --> 00:15:57,286 I WILL HEAT SOME UP AS I AM ONLY HERE TO HELP. 440 00:15:57,287 --> 00:16:00,789 I SHOULD PROBABLY GET SOME STUDYING DONE. 441 00:16:00,790 --> 00:16:03,632 I SHOULD PROBABLY HELP HER. 442 00:16:03,633 --> 00:16:05,004 I THINK YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO AVOID TALKING TO ME. 443 00:16:05,005 --> 00:16:06,385 AM NOT. 444 00:16:06,386 --> 00:16:09,388 THIS IS STUDYING? 445 00:16:09,389 --> 00:16:11,640 I WON'T BE ABLE TO CONCENTRATE ON MY SCHOOLWORK 446 00:16:11,641 --> 00:16:14,263 UNTIL I SEE WHAT HAPPENS ON HOOKING UP TONIGHT. 447 00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:16,555 WHOA. YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO WATCH THAT SHOW. 448 00:16:16,556 --> 00:16:20,809 PLEASE. I'VE TOURED WITH MY MOM AND BLACK SABBATH. 449 00:16:20,810 --> 00:16:23,903 I'VE SEEN STUFF THAT WOULD BE BLOCKED ON YOUTUBE. 450 00:16:25,235 --> 00:16:27,406 OKAY, THEN I'LL WATCH IT WITH YOU. 451 00:16:27,407 --> 00:16:29,988 IS THAT SUPPOSED TO DISCOURAGE ME? 452 00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,531 I'VE NEVER SEEN THIS SHOW. 453 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:36,455 I THOUGHT SHOWS LIKE THIS WERE ONLY ON THE COMPUTER. 454 00:16:36,456 --> 00:16:37,616 WE'RE GOING TO FIND OUT 455 00:16:37,617 --> 00:16:38,827 IF CHLOE'S GOING TO STICK WITH THIS GUY 456 00:16:38,828 --> 00:16:40,209 SHE JUMPED ON JUST FOR FUN, 457 00:16:40,210 --> 00:16:42,961 BUT DOESN'T WANT TO HAVE A REAL RELATIONSHIP WITH. 458 00:16:42,962 --> 00:16:46,885 THAT SOUNDS MOST INTRIGUING. 459 00:16:46,886 --> 00:16:49,007 - TELL ME MORE. - OKAY. 460 00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,839 SHE HAD A FLING WITH THIS REAL CUTE GUY, 461 00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:52,891 BUT DOESN'T THINK HE CAN CUT IT AS A BOYFRIEND. 462 00:16:52,892 --> 00:16:55,224 MAYBE SHE SHOULD JUST GIVE THIS GUY A CHANCE. 463 00:16:55,225 --> 00:16:56,265 IS HE NICE TO HER? 464 00:16:56,266 --> 00:16:58,187 HE'S SWEET. 465 00:16:58,188 --> 00:16:59,478 AND THEY HAVE CHEMISTRY. 466 00:16:59,479 --> 00:17:01,560 SO WHAT IS THIS GIRL'S PROBLEM? 467 00:17:01,561 --> 00:17:02,851 WELL, SHE THINKS... 468 00:17:02,852 --> 00:17:04,693 THE PROBLEM IS SHE DOESN'T WANT TO HURT HIM. 469 00:17:04,694 --> 00:17:05,814 SHE'S NOT A HORRIBLE PERSON, 470 00:17:05,815 --> 00:17:07,406 BUT SHE JUST GOT OUT OF A RELATIONSHIP 471 00:17:07,407 --> 00:17:09,409 AND SHE'S NOT READY FOR A NEW ONE. 472 00:17:11,201 --> 00:17:12,282 I ASSUME. 473 00:17:13,703 --> 00:17:16,496 DO YOU TWO REALLY THINK YOU'RE FOOLING ANYBODY? 474 00:17:17,747 --> 00:17:19,498 Melissa: HARDER. HARDER! 475 00:17:19,499 --> 00:17:20,829 Joey: ARE YOU SURE? 476 00:17:20,830 --> 00:17:22,621 - I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU. - CAN HANDLE IT. 477 00:17:22,622 --> 00:17:24,213 Melissa: OH, THAT'S IT. THAT'S THE SPOT. 478 00:17:24,214 --> 00:17:25,794 OH, IT'S SO GOOD. 479 00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:27,426 Joey: NOW IT'S MY TURN. YOU HAVE TO DO ME. 480 00:17:27,427 --> 00:17:28,797 Melissa: NO, I'M NOT FINISHED YET. 481 00:17:28,798 --> 00:17:30,629 Joey: COME ON. MY HAND'S GETTING TIRED. 482 00:17:30,630 --> 00:17:33,132 Melissa: THEN USE THE OTHER HAND, DAMN IT. 483 00:17:33,133 --> 00:17:35,844 OH, YEAH. OH, YEAH. 484 00:17:35,845 --> 00:17:38,347 OH! NO. NO, NO. IT'S JUST NOT DOING IT. 485 00:17:38,348 --> 00:17:39,938 LOOK, YOU SEEMED TO BE ENJOYING IT. 486 00:17:39,939 --> 00:17:40,770 YEAH, WELL, I GOT CLOSE. 487 00:17:40,771 --> 00:17:42,181 BUT I JUST... 488 00:17:42,182 --> 00:17:43,312 I NEED CALAMINE LOTION. 489 00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:44,773 YOU NEED CALAMINE... HEY! 490 00:17:44,774 --> 00:17:46,685 IT'S MY TURN. COME ON, YOU HAVE TO DO MY BACK. 491 00:17:46,686 --> 00:17:47,687 DO YOURSELF. 492 00:17:51,611 --> 00:17:53,612 YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK. 493 00:17:53,613 --> 00:17:54,614 I JUST GOT TOO MANY MUSCLES. 494 00:17:57,617 --> 00:17:58,997 WOW. 495 00:17:58,998 --> 00:18:02,622 THAT EPISODE WAS ESPECIALLY INAPPROPRIATE. 496 00:18:05,205 --> 00:18:08,208 I AM NOW A FAN OF THIS HOOKING UP SHOW. 497 00:18:09,669 --> 00:18:10,839 AND I GOT TO SAY, 498 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,010 I'M GLAD TO SEE CHLOE'S GOING TO TRY 499 00:18:12,011 --> 00:18:13,922 TO MAKE IT WORK WITH FLING GUY. 500 00:18:13,923 --> 00:18:16,635 I DON'T THINK IT'S A SMART DECISION AT ALL. 501 00:18:16,636 --> 00:18:18,807 THESE CHARACTERS ARE MAKING TERRIBLE CHOICES. 502 00:18:18,808 --> 00:18:19,769 AND IT'S A TV SHOW. 503 00:18:19,770 --> 00:18:21,810 YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO IMITATE THEIR BEHAVIOR. 504 00:18:21,811 --> 00:18:25,104 - EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT. - ( alarm beeping ) 505 00:18:28,988 --> 00:18:30,359 YOU GUYS STAY BACK. 506 00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:31,611 DANI, GO IN THE OTHER ROOM. 507 00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,838 ( alarm beeping ) 508 00:18:51,801 --> 00:18:54,424 ( snorts ) IT'S THE TOASTER. 509 00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,256 YOU BETTER BE WATCHING 510 00:18:57,257 --> 00:18:59,808 HOW TO PLEASE YOUR WOMAN VIDEOS. 511 00:18:59,809 --> 00:19:01,390 NO, WE JUST GOT A SECURITY ALERT. 512 00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:03,852 OOH! YOU LOOK FANTASTIC. 513 00:19:03,853 --> 00:19:06,605 I'LL LET YOU PLAY CONNECT THE DOTS LATER. 514 00:19:06,606 --> 00:19:07,856 SO WHAT'S THIS SECURITY ALERT? 515 00:19:07,857 --> 00:19:09,147 IT WAS A SMOKE ALARM. 516 00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:11,190 YEAH, BECAUSE SOMEBODY HERE DIDN'T CLEAN THE CRUMBS 517 00:19:11,191 --> 00:19:12,901 OUT OF THE TOASTER LIKE THEY SAID THEY DID. 518 00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:14,773 UH, I CLEANED IT OUT. 519 00:19:14,774 --> 00:19:15,774 MM-HMM. I'M SURE YOU DID. 520 00:19:15,775 --> 00:19:17,536 YEAH. NO, I DID. IT WASN'T ME. 521 00:19:17,537 --> 00:19:18,987 IT DOESN'T MATTER. 522 00:19:18,988 --> 00:19:22,372 WELL, IT SORT OF SEEMS LIKE IT DOES. 523 00:19:25,995 --> 00:19:29,878 IT'S A MESS IN THERE, BUT AT LEAST THE FIRE'S OUT. 524 00:19:29,879 --> 00:19:33,792 THAT WAS... AMAZING. 525 00:19:33,793 --> 00:19:36,845 YEAH. MY NONA USED TO FALL ASLEEP SMOKING, 526 00:19:36,846 --> 00:19:39,639 SO I GOT PRETTY HANDY WITH THESE BABIES. 527 00:19:41,060 --> 00:19:42,802 I'M JUST SO GLAD YOU WERE HERE. 528 00:19:44,394 --> 00:19:45,765 ME, TOO. 529 00:19:48,308 --> 00:19:49,978 WE'RE ALL GOOD NOW. 530 00:19:49,979 --> 00:19:53,772 UM, SO I GUESS I'M JUST GOING TO GO PACK. 531 00:19:53,773 --> 00:19:55,774 THERE'S A BUS LATER TO NEWARK... 532 00:19:55,775 --> 00:19:58,157 AND THAT'LL BE THAT. 533 00:20:06,416 --> 00:20:08,417 WAS THAT A KISS FOR YOUR BOYFRIEND 534 00:20:08,418 --> 00:20:11,830 OR A KISS JUST 'CAUSE I'M SO DAMNED IRRESISTIBLE? 535 00:20:11,831 --> 00:20:13,832 BOYFRIEND. 536 00:20:13,833 --> 00:20:16,425 YOU SURE ABOUT THAT? 537 00:20:16,426 --> 00:20:17,636 YEAH. 538 00:20:17,637 --> 00:20:19,889 YOU'RE NOT THAT HARD TO RESIST. 539 00:20:26,806 --> 00:20:29,227 I TOLD YOU IT WASN'T ME. 540 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:32,401 IN MY OWN HOUSE. 541 00:20:32,402 --> 00:20:35,193 YOU KNOW, IT'S A GOOD THING POOR TORBETT'S NOT SEEING... 542 00:20:35,194 --> 00:20:37,986 OH! 543 00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:39,778 I GOT TO SAY, AMAZING SECURITY SYSTEM. 544 00:20:39,779 --> 00:20:41,320 LOOK, YOU CAN ZOOM IN. 545 00:20:41,321 --> 00:20:42,322 NO THANKS. 546 00:20:45,415 --> 00:20:47,826 WELL, WE CONSUMMATED, AND IN RECORD TIME, 547 00:20:47,827 --> 00:20:50,419 BUT THAT DOES NOT COUNT AS OFFICIAL HONEYMOON SEX. 548 00:20:50,420 --> 00:20:53,251 YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY, IT WASN'T SO BAD. 549 00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:55,253 WELL, MAYBE NEXT TIME WE CAN DO IT 550 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:56,545 WITH ALL OF OUR CLOTHES OFF. 551 00:20:56,546 --> 00:20:58,216 YEAH, I KNOW. 552 00:20:58,217 --> 00:20:59,548 I JUST CANNOT BELIEVE 553 00:20:59,549 --> 00:21:00,639 THIS MARCO, MAN. 554 00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:01,970 "HEY, UNCLE JOE. 555 00:21:01,971 --> 00:21:03,261 "HERE TO HELP OUT THE FAMILY." 556 00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:04,262 YEAH, MORE LIKE 557 00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:05,594 HELPING HIMSELF OUT. 558 00:21:05,595 --> 00:21:06,685 LOOK, I OBVIOUSLY HAVE TO GO 559 00:21:06,686 --> 00:21:07,936 AND DEAL WITH THIS WHOLE SITUATION, 560 00:21:07,937 --> 00:21:08,977 BUT WHY DON'T YOU STAY HERE FOR A COUPLE DAYS 561 00:21:08,978 --> 00:21:09,809 AND JUST ENJOY YOURSELF? 562 00:21:09,810 --> 00:21:11,810 YEAH, JUST HANG OUT HERE WITH THE MOSQUITOES 563 00:21:11,811 --> 00:21:13,692 AND WATCH THE HOW TO CHECK OUT CHANNEL. 564 00:21:13,693 --> 00:21:14,693 I'M GOING WITH YOU. 565 00:21:14,694 --> 00:21:16,896 OKAY, I'M GOING TO GO GET THE CAR. 566 00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:18,987 BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, WE'RE IN THIS 567 00:21:18,988 --> 00:21:20,109 FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE. 568 00:21:22,992 --> 00:21:25,204 I'M JUST WAITING FOR THE BETTER PART.