1 00:00:10,971 --> 00:00:12,052 HEY, FAMILY. 2 00:00:12,053 --> 00:00:14,013 (all shout greetings) 3 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,975 I THOUGHT YOU WERE AT GLEN'S HOUSE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HOME? 4 00:00:15,976 --> 00:00:17,016 OH, I'M NOT REALLY HERE. 5 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,190 I JUST, UM, CAME TO PICK UP MY TOOTHBRUSH. 6 00:00:20,731 --> 00:00:23,484 YOU'VE BEEN GONE THREE DAYS AND YOU JUST NOW REALIZED YOU DIDN'T HAVE YOUR TOOTHBRUSH? 7 00:00:24,485 --> 00:00:26,737 YEAH, I WAS USING GLEN'S, BUT THEN IT WORE OUT. 8 00:00:28,489 --> 00:00:30,029 LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU JUST STAY FOR DINNER? 9 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,111 JOE MADE POT ROAST. 10 00:00:31,112 --> 00:00:32,452 OOH, I LOVE YOUR POT ROAST. 11 00:00:32,453 --> 00:00:34,244 THIS IS GONNA BE SO GOOD AT 3:00 IN THE MORNING. 12 00:00:34,245 --> 00:00:35,455 ALL RIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU GUYS! 13 00:00:35,456 --> 00:00:36,536 - LOVE YA! - BYE! 14 00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:37,577 WHOA, HEY, WAIT A MINUTE, MAN. 15 00:00:37,578 --> 00:00:39,619 YOU CAN'T TAKE THE WHOLE THING! YO, RYDER! 16 00:00:39,620 --> 00:00:41,000 HOW IS THAT LOVE? 17 00:00:41,001 --> 00:00:42,832 HE TOOK THE POT ROAST. THAT WAS GOING TO BE MY BREAKFAST. 18 00:00:42,833 --> 00:00:44,585 HMM, WELL, MAYBE THIS WILL TIDE YOU OVER. 19 00:00:48,129 --> 00:00:49,339 DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, ALL RIGHT? 20 00:00:49,340 --> 00:00:51,971 THAT POT ROAST IS NOT GOING TO LAST FOREVER. HE'LL BE BACK. 21 00:00:51,972 --> 00:00:53,723 OOH, SOMEBODY SMELLS GOOD. 22 00:00:53,724 --> 00:00:56,306 OH, YEAH. THAT'S MY NEW SHAMPOO. IT'S CRUELTY-FREE. 23 00:00:56,307 --> 00:00:57,848 YOU SURE ABOUT THAT? 'CAUSE IT'S KILLIN' ME. 24 00:01:00,020 --> 00:01:02,102 HEY, THERE ARE IMPRESSIONABLE YOUNG CHILDREN HERE. 25 00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:04,444 AND HORRIFIED YOUNG ADULTS. 26 00:01:04,445 --> 00:01:06,896 I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T REALIZE THERE WERE SO MANY SENSITIVE YOUNG PEOPLE 27 00:01:06,897 --> 00:01:07,987 HERE IN THE KITCHEN. 28 00:01:07,988 --> 00:01:10,320 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, WE'RE GONNA LEAVE THE REST OF THE DISHES TO YOU ALL, 29 00:01:10,321 --> 00:01:12,742 AND, UM, MEL AND I ARE GONNA SAY GOOD NIGHT. 30 00:01:12,743 --> 00:01:14,695 - OH, MORE LIKE A GREAT NIGHT. - YEAH. 31 00:01:15,656 --> 00:01:18,078 DON'T THEY KNOW MARRIED PEOPLE AREN'T SUPPOSED TO DO IT ANYMORE? 32 00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:21,371 I'M GLAD WE'RE NOT MARRIED. 33 00:01:21,372 --> 00:01:23,083 UGH, I'M SURROUNDED. 34 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,295 (theme music plays) 35 00:01:25,296 --> 00:01:27,167 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD ♪ - ♪ All good ♪ 36 00:01:27,168 --> 00:01:28,878 - ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪ - ♪ OKAY ♪ 37 00:01:28,879 --> 00:01:30,800 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT ♪ - ♪ ALL RIGHT ♪ 38 00:01:30,801 --> 00:01:32,512 ♪ AS FAR AS I CAN SEE ♪ 39 00:01:32,513 --> 00:01:34,304 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD ♪ - ♪ All good ♪ 40 00:01:34,305 --> 00:01:36,095 - ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪ - ♪ OKAY ♪ 41 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,977 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT ♪ - ♪ ALL RIGHT ♪ 42 00:01:37,978 --> 00:01:43,814 ♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK WITH ME ♪ 43 00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:50,320 WHOO! YEAH! 44 00:01:50,321 --> 00:01:52,532 (chuckles) ALL RIGHT! 45 00:01:52,533 --> 00:01:53,573 JOE. 46 00:01:53,574 --> 00:01:55,695 WHAT? WOW. HONEY, NO, ALL I'M SAYING IS, 47 00:01:55,696 --> 00:01:58,829 THAT IF THAT DIDN'T JUST MAKE A BABY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL. 48 00:02:00,451 --> 00:02:02,502 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I'M ON BIRTH CONTROL. 49 00:02:02,503 --> 00:02:03,833 YOU'RE WHAT? 50 00:02:03,834 --> 00:02:05,665 HEY, WE'RE MARRIED NOW. 51 00:02:05,666 --> 00:02:07,797 I MEAN, I JUST... I DON'T KNOW, I ASSUMED THAT YOU, YOU KNOW... 52 00:02:07,798 --> 00:02:10,009 PULLED THE GOALIE. 53 00:02:10,010 --> 00:02:12,011 PULLED THE GOALIE? OH! 54 00:02:12,012 --> 00:02:15,305 NOPE. NOPE, MY GOALIE IS STILL IN THE GAME. PLAYING EVERY PERIOD. 55 00:02:15,306 --> 00:02:16,807 SWATTING AWAY YOUR LITTLE PUCKS RIGHT NOW. 56 00:02:18,559 --> 00:02:21,261 WE SAID, "I DO." I THOUGHT "I DO" MEANT, 57 00:02:21,262 --> 00:02:23,973 I DO... NOT USE BIRTH CONTROL ANYMORE. 58 00:02:23,974 --> 00:02:27,026 I SAID I WANTED TO START A FAMILY SOON, NOT NOW. 59 00:02:27,027 --> 00:02:28,318 OH, I SEE. SOON. 60 00:02:28,319 --> 00:02:30,230 NOT NOW, SO... 61 00:02:30,231 --> 00:02:31,771 SO, SOON, THEN. WELL, WHAT'S SOON? 62 00:02:31,772 --> 00:02:33,443 I MEAN, IS THAT LIKE, UH... 63 00:02:33,444 --> 00:02:34,824 I DON'T KNOW, 10 MINUTES? 64 00:02:34,825 --> 00:02:35,946 'CAUSE I COULD EASILY BE READY BY THEN. 65 00:02:36,947 --> 00:02:39,409 COME ON. YOU'VE SEEN IT HAPPEN. 66 00:02:39,410 --> 00:02:41,781 JOE, LOOK, WE'RE NEWLYWEDS. 67 00:02:41,782 --> 00:02:44,584 YOU KNOW, WE SHOULD SPOIL EACH OTHER. 68 00:02:44,585 --> 00:02:46,836 TAKE SOME TIME FOR OURSELVES AND OUR CAREERS. 69 00:02:46,837 --> 00:02:49,290 AND NOT WORRY ABOUT THE PRESSURE TO HAVE KIDS. 70 00:02:50,751 --> 00:02:53,883 OKAY. ALL RIGHT. FINE. YEAH, COOL. 71 00:02:53,884 --> 00:02:55,845 NO MORE PRESSURE FROM ME. 72 00:02:55,846 --> 00:02:57,928 ALTHOUGH, WE DID JUST GO INTO OVERTIME. 73 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:02,102 MAYBE YOUR GOALIE NEEDS A BREAK? 74 00:03:06,477 --> 00:03:07,567 ZANDER, WHAT'S UP? 75 00:03:07,568 --> 00:03:09,979 WE WERE SUPPOSED TO START WORKING ON "CASSANDRA" HALF AN HOUR AGO. 76 00:03:09,980 --> 00:03:12,362 I'M SORRY. I KNOW. I WAS RUNNING ERRANDS FOR MY BOSS, 77 00:03:12,363 --> 00:03:14,113 THE ESTEEMED THORNDYKE WELLES, 78 00:03:14,114 --> 00:03:16,906 BUT, I'M HERE NOW, AND I PROMISE NO MORE INTERRUPTIONS... 79 00:03:16,907 --> 00:03:17,947 (phone rings) 80 00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:18,949 OH. 81 00:03:21,872 --> 00:03:23,454 HELLO, MR. THORNDYKE WELLES 82 00:03:25,125 --> 00:03:26,287 YEAH, HE MAKES ME CALL HIM THAT. 83 00:03:27,788 --> 00:03:28,828 UH-HUH. YES, SIR. 84 00:03:28,829 --> 00:03:30,711 YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. I WILL BE RIGHT THERE. 85 00:03:32,172 --> 00:03:33,463 WELL, YOU KNOW, 86 00:03:33,464 --> 00:03:36,796 IT IS KIND OF COOL THE WAY HE RELIES ON YOU FOR EVERYTHING. 87 00:03:36,797 --> 00:03:39,008 YOU'RE THE GO-TO GUY FOR THE GREAT ARTIST. 88 00:03:39,009 --> 00:03:40,680 YEAH, GO TO THE DRY CLEANERS. 89 00:03:40,681 --> 00:03:42,892 GO TO THE SUPERMARKET. 90 00:03:42,893 --> 00:03:44,013 GO TO THE DRUG STORE 91 00:03:44,014 --> 00:03:46,807 AND PICK UP MAXI PADS FOR HIS MENSTRUATING COLLIE, FREIDA. 92 00:03:48,519 --> 00:03:49,690 IT'S ALL GOING TO MY HEAD. 93 00:03:50,941 --> 00:03:52,942 HEY, SORRY I'M LATE. 94 00:03:52,943 --> 00:03:54,564 WENT AND GRABBED A BEER WITH THORNDYKE. 95 00:03:54,565 --> 00:03:56,235 WOW, IS HE A YAPPER. 96 00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:57,908 COULDN'T GET THORNY TO SHUT UP. 97 00:03:59,620 --> 00:04:01,120 THORNY? 98 00:04:01,121 --> 00:04:03,624 YEAH. HE MAKES ME CALL HIM THAT. 99 00:04:04,705 --> 00:04:06,956 AND YOU GOT TO GO OUT DRINKING WITH HIM? 100 00:04:06,957 --> 00:04:08,918 I HAD TO TAKE HIS DOG TO THE GROOMERS TO GET HER NAILS CLIPPED. 101 00:04:08,919 --> 00:04:10,921 THAT WAS MY IDEA. 102 00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:16,086 THAT LITTLE CLICKETY-CLAKING ALL OVER THE STUDIO WAS DRIVING ME CRAZY. 103 00:04:17,588 --> 00:04:18,589 OH, GOOD. 104 00:04:19,590 --> 00:04:21,551 I DON'T WORK FOR THORNDYKE, I WORK FOR MARCO. 105 00:04:21,552 --> 00:04:23,594 TECHNICALLY, YOU WORK FOR THE DOG. 106 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,847 WELL, I'M HITTING THE SHOWER. 107 00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:33,102 OKAY, ZANDER, ZANDER, LOOK, I'M SORRY. 108 00:04:33,103 --> 00:04:34,944 THIS SUCKS, BUT, UM... 109 00:04:34,945 --> 00:04:36,316 I KNOW WHAT WILL CHEER YOU UP, THOUGH! 110 00:04:36,317 --> 00:04:38,319 THERE'S A BASQUIAT EXHIBIT AT THE MUSEUM. 111 00:04:39,900 --> 00:04:41,861 LET'S GO TONIGHT. 112 00:04:41,862 --> 00:04:43,403 YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT, I'D LIKE THAT. 113 00:04:43,404 --> 00:04:46,035 OH, BUT IT HAS TO BE AFTER FREIDA'S EVENING WALK. 114 00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:48,328 THORNY MAKES ME DOCUMENT ALL OF HER POOPS. 115 00:04:48,329 --> 00:04:50,079 WAIT, I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T ALLOWED TO CALL HIM THAT? 116 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:53,003 I'M DOCUMENTING DOG POOP. PLEASE, LET ME HAVE THORNY. 117 00:04:56,337 --> 00:04:58,588 THERE'S MY BEAUTIFUL BRIDE. 118 00:04:58,589 --> 00:04:59,629 I GOT YOU SOMETHING. 119 00:04:59,630 --> 00:05:01,552 (gasps) OOH, IS IT DIAMONDS? 120 00:05:05,225 --> 00:05:06,687 NO, IT IS NOT DIAMONDS. 121 00:05:08,479 --> 00:05:09,480 THAT'S OKAY. 122 00:05:11,482 --> 00:05:12,812 OH, GREAT, YOU'RE ALL HERE. 123 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:15,855 GUESS WHO FINALLY FIGURED OUT WHAT HE WANTS TO DO WITH HIS LIFE? 124 00:05:15,856 --> 00:05:17,066 YOU? 125 00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:18,609 DID I TELL YOU ALREADY? 126 00:05:19,900 --> 00:05:20,990 NO. 127 00:05:20,991 --> 00:05:22,402 OKAY, GREAT, BECAUSE HERE IT IS. 128 00:05:22,403 --> 00:05:25,945 I'M GOING TO MOVE LOUISIANA TO VOLUNTEER FOR AMERICORPS! 129 00:05:25,946 --> 00:05:27,538 I'M GONNA BECOME A TEACHER'S ASSISTANT. 130 00:05:29,950 --> 00:05:32,041 YOU KNOW, I ACTUALLY HEAR THAT'S A GREAT ORGANIZATION. 131 00:05:32,042 --> 00:05:33,082 BUT, UM... 132 00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:35,956 DON'T YOU NEED TO KNOW SOMETHING BEFORE YOU TEACH IT? 133 00:05:37,628 --> 00:05:39,879 WHERE DID THIS SUDDEN DESIRE TO VOLUNTEER COME FROM? 134 00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:41,842 I'VE ALWAYS SAID I WANTED TO HELP PEOPLE. 135 00:05:43,133 --> 00:05:44,173 WHEN? 136 00:05:44,174 --> 00:05:46,596 YOU WOULDN'T EVEN GIVE ME A RIDE TO SCHOOL. 137 00:05:46,597 --> 00:05:49,559 OKAY, MAYBE I NEVER SAID IT OUT LOUD, BUT I WAS THINKING IT. 138 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:52,472 OOH, OOH, IF YOU'RE GOING TO LOUISIANA, CAN I HAVE YOUR ROOM? 139 00:05:52,473 --> 00:05:53,523 SURE. 140 00:05:53,524 --> 00:05:55,185 YOU SEE, HELPING PEOPLE. 141 00:05:56,777 --> 00:05:57,857 - THANKS. - NO. 142 00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,899 NO, NO, NOBODY'S GETTING ANYBODY'S ROOMS. 143 00:05:59,900 --> 00:06:03,032 RYDER, LISTEN, I KNOW YOU THINK YOU HAVE A GOOD IDEA HERE, BUT YOU REALLY DON'T. 144 00:06:03,033 --> 00:06:04,243 AND LET ME TELL YOU WHY. 145 00:06:04,244 --> 00:06:05,825 I... YOU KNOW, LISTEN, JOE, I GOTTA GO. 146 00:06:05,826 --> 00:06:07,487 NO-NO-NO-NO-NO, BUDDY, BUDDY, BUDDY, LISTEN. 147 00:06:07,488 --> 00:06:09,909 LISTEN, THIS IS ONLY GONNA TAKE LIKE, TWO MINUTES. 148 00:06:09,910 --> 00:06:12,331 MORE LIKE TWO HOURS. 149 00:06:12,332 --> 00:06:14,333 - I'M OUT OF HERE. - YEAH, WAIT FOR ME. 150 00:06:14,334 --> 00:06:15,996 - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! - OH, I HATE BEING A GROWNUP. 151 00:06:17,998 --> 00:06:22,462 LISTEN, DUDE, THERE ARE SO MANY REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD GO TO COLLEGE. OKAY? 152 00:06:22,463 --> 00:06:23,673 TO START WITH... 153 00:06:23,674 --> 00:06:25,054 UMM, SHOULD I SIT DOWN FOR THIS? 154 00:06:25,055 --> 00:06:26,346 I'M GONNA. 155 00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:29,640 LENNOX! 156 00:06:30,681 --> 00:06:33,683 IT'S PAYDAY, AND YOU AND I ARE GOING OUT. 157 00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:34,855 PICK ANY PLACE YOU WANT TO GO. 158 00:06:35,976 --> 00:06:38,147 OH, I'M GOING TO THE MUSEUM WITH ZANDER. 159 00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:39,939 SO, YOU HAVE A DATE WITH YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND? 160 00:06:39,940 --> 00:06:42,361 WHAT? NO. IT'S NOT A DATE. 161 00:06:42,362 --> 00:06:45,024 WE'RE JUST GOING TO DINNER AND THEN TO AN ART EXHIBIT. 162 00:06:45,025 --> 00:06:47,156 I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE GONNA BE MAKING OUT. 163 00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:48,659 SO, IT'S A BAD DATE. 164 00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:52,872 HE NEEDS SOMEONE TO CHEER HIM UP. 165 00:06:52,873 --> 00:06:53,913 OKAY, HERE'S A CRAZY IDEA. 166 00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:56,746 HE GETS HIS OWN GIRLFRIEND AND STAYS AWAY FROM MINE. 167 00:06:56,747 --> 00:06:58,918 OH, IS THIS A JEALOUSY THING? 168 00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,339 OH, PLEASE. 169 00:07:00,340 --> 00:07:02,422 IS BATMAN JEALOUS OF CHARLIE BROWN? 170 00:07:04,595 --> 00:07:06,385 OKAY, MARCO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. 171 00:07:06,386 --> 00:07:08,097 NO, I UNDERSTAND A LOT. 172 00:07:08,098 --> 00:07:10,389 YOU'RE OVER HIM, BUT HE IS NOT OVER YOU. 173 00:07:10,390 --> 00:07:12,351 AND YOU'RE NOT HELPING HIM BY LEADING HIM ON. 174 00:07:12,352 --> 00:07:13,973 OKAY, BUT IT'S NOT A DATE! 175 00:07:13,974 --> 00:07:16,396 AND THIS IS NOT ME WALKING OUT THE DOOR. 176 00:07:18,018 --> 00:07:20,691 SEE? I CAN PUT A "NOT" BEFORE STUFF, TOO. 177 00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:25,274 SO, TO SUM UP... 178 00:07:25,275 --> 00:07:26,446 WE HAVE, UM... 179 00:07:28,158 --> 00:07:29,779 JOB PROSPECTS, 180 00:07:29,780 --> 00:07:30,990 OKAY, SOCIAL GROWTH, 181 00:07:30,991 --> 00:07:32,912 FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE. ALL RIGHT? 182 00:07:32,913 --> 00:07:36,165 BUT LISTEN, THE MOST IMPORTANT REASON THAT YOU NEED TO GO TO COLLEGE, 183 00:07:36,166 --> 00:07:38,879 IS BECAUSE WE'RE NOT GOING TO BE PAYING FOR ANYTHING ELSE UNLESS YOU DO. 184 00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:41,631 LOOK, AUNT MEL, JOE, 185 00:07:41,632 --> 00:07:44,504 THIS IS GONNA BE VERY, VERY, GOOD FOR ME, ALL RIGHT? 186 00:07:44,505 --> 00:07:46,465 GLEN'S COUSIN IS IN THE PROGRAM TOO 187 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,548 AND WE'RE GOING TO NEW ORLEANS TOGETHER. 188 00:07:48,549 --> 00:07:50,640 RYDER, YOU LEFT ME IN THE CAR WITHOUT THE KEYS. 189 00:07:50,641 --> 00:07:52,592 I CAN'T EVEN LISTEN TO THE RADIO. 190 00:07:52,593 --> 00:07:53,893 DID YOU FORGET ABOUT ME? 191 00:07:53,894 --> 00:07:55,264 NO, NEVER, JULIET. 192 00:07:55,265 --> 00:07:57,647 OH, GUYS, THIS IS JULIET. 193 00:07:57,648 --> 00:08:00,149 OH, ARE YOU, BY ANY CHANCE, GLEN'S COUSIN? 194 00:08:00,150 --> 00:08:01,812 UH-HUH! HOW'D YOU KNOW? 195 00:08:03,103 --> 00:08:04,864 I TOOK A SHOT. 196 00:08:04,865 --> 00:08:06,656 WELL, UM, LISTEN, WE GOTTA GO. 197 00:08:06,657 --> 00:08:08,407 JULIET HAS A YOGA CLASS, 198 00:08:08,408 --> 00:08:09,869 AND I'M GONNA, UM... 199 00:08:09,870 --> 00:08:10,871 I'M GONNA WATCH. 200 00:08:12,613 --> 00:08:14,744 THIS IS NOT OVER. WE'RE GONNA TALK MORE ABOUT THIS LATER, MAN. 201 00:08:14,745 --> 00:08:15,825 OKAY, SURE THING. 202 00:08:15,826 --> 00:08:16,997 - SURE THING. - SEE YOU! 203 00:08:19,119 --> 00:08:20,329 DON'T WORRY. 204 00:08:20,330 --> 00:08:22,501 ONCE THIS FLING FIZZLES OUT, HE'LL BE BACK HERE IN NO TIME 205 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:25,796 PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND EATING LIKE A BEAR BEFORE HIBERNATION. 206 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,589 BEARS REMEMBER THEIR TOOTHBRUSH. 207 00:08:29,590 --> 00:08:30,680 HEY, HEY, HEY! 208 00:08:30,681 --> 00:08:32,892 I BELIEVE YOU MENTIONED A LITTLE GIFT WHEN YOU WALKED IN? 209 00:08:32,893 --> 00:08:35,224 WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE, LET ME GIVE THIS TO YOU, OKAY? 210 00:08:35,225 --> 00:08:37,056 ALL RIGHT. NOW, ABOUT LAST NIGHT. 211 00:08:37,057 --> 00:08:39,228 YOU KNOW, I GOT CAUGHT UP IN THE WHOLE EMOTION OF THE MOMENT. 212 00:08:39,229 --> 00:08:41,100 TALKING ABOUT BABIES AND STUFF, 213 00:08:41,101 --> 00:08:43,943 BUT, I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW I UNDERSTAND YOUR POINT OF VIEW, SO, I GOT YOU THIS. 214 00:08:43,944 --> 00:08:45,025 AWW. 215 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:50,821 A HOCKEY PLAYER? 216 00:08:50,822 --> 00:08:53,703 NO, THAT'S A GOALIE! THATS... 217 00:08:53,704 --> 00:08:54,705 THAT'S BIRTH CONTROL. 218 00:08:56,917 --> 00:08:57,918 YEAH, I DON'T THINK SO. 219 00:08:59,119 --> 00:09:01,250 LOOK, THIS IS MY WAY OF SAYING, 220 00:09:01,251 --> 00:09:04,754 YOU CAN KEEP THE GOALIE IN THE GAME FOR AS LONG AS YOU NEED TO. 221 00:09:04,755 --> 00:09:06,425 NO MORE BABY PRESSURE FROM ME. 222 00:09:06,426 --> 00:09:07,427 AWW. 223 00:09:10,881 --> 00:09:13,432 - HEY, MEL. - HEY. 224 00:09:13,433 --> 00:09:15,885 MEL, LOOK WHO WANTED TO STOP BY FOR DINNER. 225 00:09:15,886 --> 00:09:17,597 NATE AND GILLIAN. 226 00:09:17,598 --> 00:09:18,889 OH, AND THE BABY THEY MADE. 227 00:09:20,851 --> 00:09:23,984 WHAT A PRESSURE BABY... PRECIOUS BABY! 228 00:09:28,859 --> 00:09:29,989 ISN'T THIS GREAT, MEL? 229 00:09:29,990 --> 00:09:32,361 NATE AND GILLIAN JUST, UH, WANTED TO STOP BY. 230 00:09:32,362 --> 00:09:33,402 YOU ASKED US TO COME OVER. 231 00:09:33,403 --> 00:09:34,825 LET'S NOT QUIBBLE OVER THE DETAILS. 232 00:09:36,196 --> 00:09:38,998 JOE, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR JUST ONE LITTLE SEC? 233 00:09:38,999 --> 00:09:40,410 ME? YEAH, SURE. 234 00:09:43,794 --> 00:09:44,964 YOU ASKED THEM TO COME OVER HERE 235 00:09:44,965 --> 00:09:47,757 SO THEY COULD THROW THAT LITTLE BALL OF JOY AND WONDER RIGHT IN MY FACE. 236 00:09:47,758 --> 00:09:50,509 WHAT KIND OF GUY WOULD I BE IF I INVITED NATE AND GILLIAN OVER HERE 237 00:09:50,510 --> 00:09:52,632 AND I DIDN'T ALSO INVITE THEIR LITTLE BABY? 238 00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:55,305 THIS LITTLE BABY AMBUSH OF YOURS ISN'T GONNA WORK. 239 00:09:56,306 --> 00:09:58,928 YOU'RE SO CUTE, YOU'RE SO CUTE! 240 00:09:58,929 --> 00:10:00,680 OH, YOU'RE A CUTE LITTLE BALL OF JOY AND WONDER! 241 00:10:00,681 --> 00:10:02,932 YES YOU ARE, YES YOU ARE! 242 00:10:02,933 --> 00:10:07,937 (making baby noises) 243 00:10:07,938 --> 00:10:10,279 WELL, I GOT FREIDA HER TAMPONS, 244 00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:11,861 PICKED SOME FLEAS OFF HER BUTT, 245 00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:13,654 THEN, TO THANK ME, SHE LICKED MY FACE. 246 00:10:14,655 --> 00:10:15,735 HELLO. 247 00:10:15,736 --> 00:10:18,658 UH, LILAH, THIS IS ZANDER. 248 00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:20,290 - HELLO. - I WORK FOR A DOG. 249 00:10:22,162 --> 00:10:26,415 ZANDER, THIS IS MY FRIEND LILAH AND I WAS JUST SHOWING HER YOUR AMAZING DRAWINGS. 250 00:10:26,416 --> 00:10:29,128 SHE'S A FILM MAJOR AND HAS GREAT VISUAL SENSE. 251 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,670 YEAH, THESE ARE INTERESTING. 252 00:10:30,671 --> 00:10:32,511 OH, COOL. 253 00:10:32,512 --> 00:10:36,717 THE WAY YOU INTENTIONALLY MAKE YOUR IMAGES LOOK FLAT AND STATIC. 254 00:10:39,810 --> 00:10:41,640 FLAT AND STATIC? 255 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,522 THAT'S JUST WHAT EVERY ARTIST LOVES TO HEAR. 256 00:10:43,523 --> 00:10:46,105 OH, YOU'RE ONE OF THOSE. 257 00:10:46,106 --> 00:10:47,186 SORRY, ONE OF WHAT? 258 00:10:47,187 --> 00:10:48,769 YOU JUST WANT TO HEAR HOW GREAT YOU ARE. 259 00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:54,154 EXCUSE ME. 260 00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:57,446 COULD I TALK TO YOU FOR JUST TWO QUICK SECONDS? 261 00:10:57,447 --> 00:10:59,449 (laughing) 262 00:11:00,540 --> 00:11:01,742 WHO'S THE FREAK? 263 00:11:02,743 --> 00:11:04,083 LILAH IS NICE. 264 00:11:04,084 --> 00:11:06,045 YEAH, I'M NOT GETTING THAT. 265 00:11:06,046 --> 00:11:07,787 OKAY, I'M TRYING TO FIX YOU UP, ZANDER. 266 00:11:07,788 --> 00:11:09,709 I CAN'T BE SPENDING ALL THIS TIME WITH YOU. 267 00:11:09,710 --> 00:11:12,962 I HAVE A BOYFRIEND, AND YOU NEED TO FIND A GIRLFRIEND. 268 00:11:12,963 --> 00:11:16,136 AND I THINK YOU AND LILAH HAVE A LOT IN COMMON. 269 00:11:20,801 --> 00:11:22,762 YEAH, SHE LOOKS FUN. 270 00:11:22,763 --> 00:11:24,974 OH, AND THIS IS PERFECT TIMING. 271 00:11:24,975 --> 00:11:28,358 SHE JUST WENT THROUGH A PHASE WITH WOMEN, AND SHE'S WORKING HER WAY BACK TO GUYS. 272 00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:33,814 SO WHAT, I'M THE REST STOP ON HER HIGHWAY BACK TO MEN? 273 00:11:35,615 --> 00:11:36,986 JUST GIVE HER A CHANCE. 274 00:11:36,987 --> 00:11:38,027 FINE. 275 00:11:38,028 --> 00:11:40,369 I'LL ASK THE BEAUTIFUL BISEXUAL GIRL OUT. 276 00:11:40,370 --> 00:11:41,872 BUT I'M ONLY DOING THIS FOR YOU. 277 00:11:45,916 --> 00:11:48,327 WHO'S A BIG BOY? WHO'S A BIG BOY? 278 00:11:48,328 --> 00:11:50,419 HEY, IF HE'S GETTING TOO HEAVY, I CAN TAKE HIM BACK. 279 00:11:50,420 --> 00:11:51,961 NO-NO-NO-NO, I GOT HIM. I GOT HIM. 280 00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:52,963 I GOT HIM! GIMME! 281 00:11:54,835 --> 00:11:57,757 YOU KNOW, MEL, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO GIVE THE BABY BACK EVENTUALLY. 282 00:11:57,758 --> 00:12:00,220 OR ELSE THEY'RE GONNA PRESS CHARGES. 283 00:12:01,842 --> 00:12:02,892 YEAH, BUT WE... 284 00:12:02,893 --> 00:12:05,644 HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN THE BUNNY OUTSIDE YET! 285 00:12:05,645 --> 00:12:06,806 HE DOES LOVE BUNNIES. 286 00:12:06,807 --> 00:12:08,978 OH, GOOD. BUH-BYE! 287 00:12:08,979 --> 00:12:10,559 (sighs) 288 00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:14,273 IT'S SO NICE TO HAVE MY BOOBS BACK TO MYSELF, EVEN FOR ONLY A FEW MINUTES. 289 00:12:14,274 --> 00:12:16,857 YEAH, I FORGOT WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE WITHOUT A BABY ATTACHED. 290 00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:20,619 LOOK AT YOU TWO MAKING JOKES. 291 00:12:20,620 --> 00:12:22,741 THERE HASN'T BEEN A LOT OF JOKING LATELY. 292 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:23,953 WHICH IS FINE. 293 00:12:23,954 --> 00:12:26,957 BECAUSE SINCE I HAD THE BABY, WHENEVER I LAUGH, I PEE A LITTLE. 294 00:12:28,208 --> 00:12:30,539 YEAH, SHE'S GONE THROUGH MORE DIAPERS THAN THE KID HAS. 295 00:12:30,540 --> 00:12:32,171 OH, COME ON, GUYS. 296 00:12:32,172 --> 00:12:35,174 BUT YOU BROUGHT THIS, YOU KNOW, PRECIOUS LITTLE BABY INTO THE WORLD? 297 00:12:35,175 --> 00:12:36,755 YEAH, JOE, DON'T GET US WRONG. 298 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:39,468 WE LOVE... UM... 299 00:12:39,469 --> 00:12:40,880 EDDIE. 300 00:12:40,881 --> 00:12:44,014 YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE. 301 00:12:44,845 --> 00:12:46,515 WE'RE NOT TRYING TO SCARE YOU, 302 00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:49,479 BUT HAVING A BABY RUINS EVERY PART OF YOUR LIFE. 303 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:52,311 I'M SO SLEEP DEPRIVED, 304 00:12:52,312 --> 00:12:54,153 I HAD LUNCH WITH MY BOSS, 305 00:12:54,154 --> 00:12:56,946 AND AFTERWARDS, I TRIED TO BURP HIM. 306 00:12:56,947 --> 00:12:58,567 YEAH, BUT NOW THAT YOU HAD THE BABY, 307 00:12:58,568 --> 00:13:00,900 DON'T YOU FEEL LIKE IT'S, YOU KNOW, BROUGHT YOU GUYS CLOSER TOGETHER? 308 00:13:00,901 --> 00:13:03,282 YEAH. LIKE CELL MATES. 309 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:04,864 EXCEPT WE DON'T HAVE SEX. 310 00:13:04,865 --> 00:13:07,036 (laughing) 311 00:13:07,037 --> 00:13:07,828 UH-OH. 312 00:13:07,829 --> 00:13:08,829 EXCUSE ME. 313 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,174 YOU THINKING OF HAVING KIDS, JOE? 314 00:13:15,175 --> 00:13:16,837 YEAH. 315 00:13:18,718 --> 00:13:19,798 ABSOLUTELY. 316 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,923 AS A NEW FATHER, LET ME GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE. 317 00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:25,514 DON'T. 318 00:13:25,515 --> 00:13:28,097 WAIT, DAVE, COME ON. 319 00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:30,980 YOU AND GILLIAN ARE SUCH A GREAT COUPLE. I MEAN... 320 00:13:30,981 --> 00:13:32,811 ALL RIGHT, SO YOU'RE GOING THROUGH SOME TOUGH TIMES. 321 00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,813 BUT THE ROMANCE IS GONNA COME BACK, MAN. 322 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:37,647 WILL IT, JOE? WILL IT? 323 00:13:38,939 --> 00:13:41,901 NAME ONE COUPLE WHOSE SEX LIFE CAME BACK AFTER THEY HAD KIDS. 324 00:13:41,902 --> 00:13:44,034 NATE, THERE ARE TONS, THERE ARE MILLIONS, ALL RIGHT? 325 00:13:46,366 --> 00:13:48,247 JUST 'CAUSE I CAN'T THINK OF ANY RIGHT NOW DOESN'T MEAN... 326 00:13:48,248 --> 00:13:49,538 OH, I GOT ONE! 327 00:13:49,539 --> 00:13:51,331 NOPE... THEY'RE DIVORCED. 328 00:13:56,256 --> 00:13:57,296 HEY, MEL. 329 00:13:57,297 --> 00:13:59,879 DID YOU SEE HOW BEAT NATE AND GILLIAN LOOKED TONIGHT? 330 00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:02,261 WHEW. I TELL YOU, HAVING A BABY'S A BIG DEAL. 331 00:14:02,262 --> 00:14:04,674 THAT'S CERTAINLY NOT A DECISION YOU WANT TO TAKE LIGHTLY, HUH? 332 00:14:05,966 --> 00:14:06,806 HEY, HANDSOME. 333 00:14:08,808 --> 00:14:10,139 TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT THIS NIGHTGOWN. 334 00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:11,680 'CAUSE IT WON'T BE ON FOR LONG. 335 00:14:11,681 --> 00:14:13,642 OOH, OH, YEAH! 336 00:14:13,643 --> 00:14:15,684 YOU KNOW, OH, HONEY. YOU KNOW WHAT, LET'S... LET'S JUST... 337 00:14:15,685 --> 00:14:16,815 SLOW THINGS DOWN JUST A LITTLE BIT. 338 00:14:16,816 --> 00:14:19,478 'CAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU WERE MAKING SOME GREAT POINTS LAST NIGHT. 339 00:14:19,479 --> 00:14:22,481 AND WE REALLY HAVE NO NEED TO RUSH INTO ANYTHING. 340 00:14:22,482 --> 00:14:25,534 UH-HUH. I'M NOT USING BIRTH CONTROL! 341 00:14:25,535 --> 00:14:26,825 NO, LISTEN, BABE. 342 00:14:26,826 --> 00:14:28,867 I DON'T WANT TO MAKE YOU DO ANYTHING THAT YOU'RE NOT READY TO DO. 343 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,251 OH, I'M READY! PUT A BABY IN ME, LONGO! 344 00:14:33,833 --> 00:14:34,873 YOU'RE INTOXICATED. 345 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,996 OKAY, YOU'VE BEEN SNIFFING BABY HEAD ALL NIGHT LONG. 346 00:14:36,997 --> 00:14:39,258 - TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF NOW! - WHAT? NO, HEY, NO! 347 00:14:39,259 --> 00:14:40,920 STOP IT! STOP IT! LISTEN TO ME! 348 00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:41,881 DID YOU NOT SEE NATE AND GILLIAN? 349 00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:43,212 PLEASE DON'T COME ANY CLOSER. 350 00:14:43,213 --> 00:14:45,264 WAIT, LISTEN HONEY, THEY'RE MISERABLE. THEY'RE MISERABLE. 351 00:14:45,265 --> 00:14:46,555 OKAY? ABSOLUTELY MISERABLE. 352 00:14:46,556 --> 00:14:47,596 THEY'RE EXHAUSTED. 353 00:14:47,597 --> 00:14:48,767 THEY CAN'T CONTROL THEIR BLADDERS. 354 00:14:48,768 --> 00:14:50,099 THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE SEX ANYMORE. 355 00:14:50,100 --> 00:14:52,311 WAIT, THERE'S NO REASON THAT WOULD HAPPEN TO US. 356 00:14:52,312 --> 00:14:54,013 IT HAPPENS TO EVERYONE! 357 00:14:54,014 --> 00:14:57,106 SEX AND ROMANCE DIE AFTER YOU HAVE A BABY. 358 00:14:57,107 --> 00:14:59,018 THAT'S NOT TRUE! LOOK AT MY PARENTS. 359 00:14:59,019 --> 00:15:00,859 THEY HAD PLENTY OF SEX AFTER THEY HAD CHILDREN. 360 00:15:00,860 --> 00:15:02,731 YEAH... 361 00:15:02,732 --> 00:15:03,823 BUT NOT WITH EACH OTHER. 362 00:15:04,824 --> 00:15:06,155 BAD EXAMPLE. 363 00:15:06,156 --> 00:15:07,576 GIVE ME A GOOD EXAMPLE, THEN. ALL RIGHT? 364 00:15:07,577 --> 00:15:11,530 GIVE ME ONE COUPLE WHOSE ROMANCE SURVIVED HAVING A BABY? 365 00:15:11,531 --> 00:15:12,581 UMM... 366 00:15:12,582 --> 00:15:14,743 LOOK AT THAT. YOU CAN'T EVEN GIVE ME ONE! 367 00:15:14,744 --> 00:15:16,206 FRANKLIN AND GRETEL. 368 00:15:18,959 --> 00:15:20,039 WHO? 369 00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:21,710 YEAH. I WORK WITH THEM DOWN AT CITY HALL. 370 00:15:21,711 --> 00:15:23,342 HE'S IN PARKING, SHE'S IN PERMITS. 371 00:15:23,343 --> 00:15:25,885 THEY HAVE 11 KIDS, AND THEY CAN'T KEEP THEIR HANDS OFF EACH OTHER. 372 00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:29,009 DID YOU MAKE THEM UP? 373 00:15:29,889 --> 00:15:31,811 WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING? 374 00:15:34,554 --> 00:15:35,555 (doorbell rings) 375 00:15:38,648 --> 00:15:39,938 HEY, UMM, LISTEN. 376 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,690 BEFORE WE GET STARTED WORKING ON "CASSANDRA," 377 00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:44,773 I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT I AM SO SORRY ABOUT LILAH. 378 00:15:44,774 --> 00:15:47,987 I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING TRYING TO FIX YOU GUYS UP. 379 00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:50,279 ARE YOU KIDDING ME? SHE'S AWESOME. 380 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:51,371 WE'VE BEEN OUT FOUR TIMES. 381 00:15:52,412 --> 00:15:53,952 I INTRODUCED YOU TWO DAYS AGO? 382 00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,954 YEAH, WE HIT IT OFF. 383 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:56,956 SEVERAL TIMES. 384 00:15:58,078 --> 00:15:59,378 AND I CAN SAY WITH TOTAL CONFIDENCE 385 00:15:59,379 --> 00:16:01,170 THAT LILAH IS DEFINITELY BACK ON THE MAN TRAIN. 386 00:16:01,171 --> 00:16:02,462 A-CHOO-CHOO! 387 00:16:04,384 --> 00:16:06,295 YEAH, IN FACT, SHE GOT HER COMMUTER PASS, 388 00:16:06,296 --> 00:16:08,257 AND THAT ENTITLES HER TO TWO RIDES A DAY 389 00:16:08,258 --> 00:16:11,850 OKAY. YOU DON'T NEED TO TELL ME EVERYTHING. 390 00:16:11,851 --> 00:16:14,053 BUT, IT SOUNDS LIKE SHE IS PERFECT FOR YOU. 391 00:16:14,054 --> 00:16:15,724 OH, YOU KNOW, NOTHING'S PERFECT. 392 00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:17,226 SHE'S A BIT FULL OF HERSELF AT TIMES, 393 00:16:17,227 --> 00:16:18,807 AND A LITTLE CONTROLLING, 394 00:16:18,808 --> 00:16:20,400 BUT APPARENTLY, THAT'S WHAT I LIKE IN GIRLS. 395 00:16:21,811 --> 00:16:22,861 GOTCHA. 396 00:16:22,862 --> 00:16:23,903 ALL RIGHT. LET'S GET TO WORK. 397 00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:25,815 WHERE'S YOUR COMPUTER? 398 00:16:25,816 --> 00:16:27,906 OH, YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I ACTUALLY CAME HERE TO TELL YOU. 399 00:16:27,907 --> 00:16:29,318 I CAN'T WORK WITH YOU ON "CASSANDRA" ANYMORE. 400 00:16:29,319 --> 00:16:31,700 WAIT, WHAT? WHY NOT? 401 00:16:31,701 --> 00:16:32,911 WELL... 402 00:16:32,912 --> 00:16:35,914 LILAH DOESN'T WANT ME SPENDING TIME WITH AN EX. SHE THINKS IT'S WEIRD. 403 00:16:35,915 --> 00:16:37,826 DOES THIS MEAN THAT "CASSANDRA" IS OVER FOREVER? 404 00:16:37,827 --> 00:16:40,079 WELL, I WOULDN'T SAY FOREVER, BUT, YOU KNOW, 405 00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:41,620 LILAH DID. 406 00:16:41,621 --> 00:16:44,173 ZANDER, HOW CAN YOU AGREE TO SOMETHING LIKE THIS? 407 00:16:44,174 --> 00:16:46,045 WELL, IT'S A NEW RELATIONSHIP. SOMETIMES, YOU GOTTA... 408 00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:48,887 PRETEND YOU'RE OKAY WITH RIDICULOUS DEMANDS WHEN YOU'RE REALLY NOT? 409 00:16:48,888 --> 00:16:51,010 EXACTLY! SEE? I KNEW YOU'D UNDERSTAND. 410 00:16:52,932 --> 00:16:54,933 ALL RIGHT, SO, I'LL SEE YOU LATER. 411 00:16:54,934 --> 00:16:56,436 WELL, YOU KNOW, PROBABLY NOT, BUT MAYBE. 412 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:00,900 WHAT WAS ALL THAT ABOUT? 413 00:17:01,901 --> 00:17:03,021 WELL... 414 00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,733 I FIXED ZANDER UP WITH LILAH 415 00:17:04,734 --> 00:17:07,947 AND NOW HE'S GOT A GIRLFRIEND AND I'VE LOST A COLLABORATOR. 416 00:17:09,449 --> 00:17:10,650 AND A FRIEND. 417 00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:18,457 I'M SORRY. I AM TRYING TO MAKE MY FACE LOOK SAD, 418 00:17:18,458 --> 00:17:20,039 BUT I CAN'T. 419 00:17:22,872 --> 00:17:24,373 - HEY. - HEY. 420 00:17:24,374 --> 00:17:25,874 WHERE IS EVERYBODY? 421 00:17:25,875 --> 00:17:27,256 OH, THE KIDS WENT DOWN TO THE YOGURT SHOP 422 00:17:27,257 --> 00:17:29,878 TO SEE HOW MANY FREE SAMPLES THEY COULD GET BEFORE THEY GET THROWN OUT. 423 00:17:29,879 --> 00:17:32,842 OH, WELL, THEY'LL NEVER BEAT MS. 24. 424 00:17:34,264 --> 00:17:37,137 HEY, JOE, I NEED YOU TO TAKE A LOOK AT THIS CONTRACT FOR ME. 425 00:17:38,138 --> 00:17:39,808 YEAH, OKAY, I'LL LOOK AT THIS. BUT FIRST... 426 00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:44,233 UMM, I THINK WE SHOULD FINISH OUR WHOLE "FRANKLIN AND GRETEL" CONVERSATION FROM LAST NIGHT. 427 00:17:44,234 --> 00:17:45,854 I TOLD YOU, I MADE THEM UP. 428 00:17:45,855 --> 00:17:48,567 I KNOW, HONEY, BUT, I JUST... YOU KNOW, I WANT TO SETTLE THINGS. 429 00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:49,858 TRUST ME. JUST READ THIS. 430 00:17:49,859 --> 00:17:51,360 I... 431 00:17:51,361 --> 00:17:53,402 OKAY. FINE. 432 00:17:53,403 --> 00:17:56,695 "PROPOSED CONTRACT BETWEEN MEL BURKE AND JOE LONGO 433 00:17:56,696 --> 00:18:00,079 TO PRESERVE SEX AND ROMANCE ONCE THEY HAVE CHILDREN." 434 00:18:02,001 --> 00:18:03,962 - I'M INTRIGUED. - KEEP READING. 435 00:18:03,963 --> 00:18:05,544 "I, MEL BURKE, 436 00:18:05,545 --> 00:18:08,168 HEREAFTER REFERRED TO AS 'ONE HOT MAMA, 437 00:18:09,669 --> 00:18:11,630 MAKE THE FOLLOWING PROMISES TO JOE LONGO, 438 00:18:11,631 --> 00:18:14,384 HEREAFTER REFERRED TO AS 'SUGAR PECS.'" 439 00:18:16,556 --> 00:18:18,768 - "SUGAR PECS"? -OKAY, LOOK, THE NICKNAME'S NEGOTIABLE. 440 00:18:19,769 --> 00:18:20,770 NO, I'M OKAY WITH IT. 441 00:18:21,891 --> 00:18:23,682 "I PROMISE NEVER TO STOP SAYING 'I LOVE YOU, ' 442 00:18:23,683 --> 00:18:26,275 NO MATTER HOW TIRED I AM OR HOW MANY POOPY DIAPERS I HAVE CHANGED." 443 00:18:26,276 --> 00:18:28,487 AND TAKE A LOOK AT PARAGRAPH FOUR, SUBSECTION B 444 00:18:28,488 --> 00:18:32,942 WHICH COVERS LAP DANCES, FRENCH KISSES AND THE STANDARD FRIDAY NIGHT STRIPTEASE. 445 00:18:34,073 --> 00:18:35,074 I HAVE NO OBJECTIONS. 446 00:18:36,156 --> 00:18:37,366 OKAY, AND I CAN'T WAIT. 447 00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:38,737 - TURN TO PAGE FIVE. - PAGE FIVE. 448 00:18:38,738 --> 00:18:39,948 THAT'S WHERE IT GETS REALLY FUN. 449 00:18:39,949 --> 00:18:42,001 OKAY. OH, THERE'S PICTURES. 450 00:18:43,413 --> 00:18:44,453 OH, THAT'S NICE. 451 00:18:44,454 --> 00:18:46,505 THAT'S VERY NICE. 452 00:18:46,506 --> 00:18:48,667 HONEY, THIS IS VERY SWEET OF YOU TO WRITE UP THIS CONTRACT, 453 00:18:48,668 --> 00:18:50,799 BUT THERE'S JUST NO PRECEDENT HERE. 454 00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:54,052 I MEAN, IF NOBODY ELSE HAS BEEN ABLE TO KEEP THINGS HOT AFTER HAVING KIDS, 455 00:18:54,053 --> 00:18:55,094 WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT WE CAN? 456 00:18:56,216 --> 00:19:00,969 WELL, THERE IS ONE COUPLE WHO HAS MANAGED TO DEFY THE ODDS, YOU KNOW? 457 00:19:00,970 --> 00:19:05,023 ONE COUPLE WHO, YOU KNOW, FOUGHT ENDLESSLY FOR THREE YEARS 458 00:19:05,024 --> 00:19:06,226 BUT STILL MANAGED TO FALL IN LOVE. 459 00:19:07,477 --> 00:19:09,898 THE COUPLE WE'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR TO INSPIRE US? 460 00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:10,900 IT'S US! 461 00:19:13,983 --> 00:19:16,154 YOU REALLY NEED TO THINK ABOUT THAT? 462 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:17,986 I'M NOT THINKING ABOUT IT I'M JUST TAKING A MOMENT HERE, 463 00:19:17,987 --> 00:19:19,828 SO I CAN CHOKE OUT A SENTENCE WITHOUT TEARING UP 464 00:19:19,829 --> 00:19:22,201 BECAUSE WHAT YOU JUST SAID WAS SO FREAKING BEAUTIFUL. 465 00:19:22,202 --> 00:19:24,663 SO, UMM, CAN I GET YOUR SIGNATURE ON THIS? 466 00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:27,996 YES. YOU GOT IT. ALL RIGHT? 467 00:19:27,997 --> 00:19:29,418 OH, AND UMM... 468 00:19:29,419 --> 00:19:32,881 HONEY, I THINK THAT, UMM, MAYBE WE SHOULD TRY A LITTLE... 469 00:19:32,882 --> 00:19:35,093 PAGE FIVE, SECTION D RIGHT NOW. 470 00:19:35,094 --> 00:19:36,635 EVEN WITH A PULLED GOALIE? 471 00:19:36,636 --> 00:19:39,598 BABE, IT'S SECTION D. WE BOTH KNOW THAT'S NOT GONNA GET ANYBODY PREGNANT. 472 00:19:39,599 --> 00:19:42,060 BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT, IF YOU'D RATHER, WHY DON'T WE START WITH THE BASICS. 473 00:19:42,061 --> 00:19:45,804 WE COULD GO TO GOOD OLD RELIABLE, MAYBE SECTION A. 474 00:19:45,805 --> 00:19:48,106 WELL, IF WE DO THAT, ONE OF US, 475 00:19:48,107 --> 00:19:49,438 THE ONE WITH THE LADY PARTS, 476 00:19:49,439 --> 00:19:51,069 COULD GET PREGNANT. 477 00:19:51,070 --> 00:19:52,941 YOU READY FOR THAT? 478 00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:53,943 READY? 479 00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:57,487 I'M NOT SURE, BUT WHAT THE HELL? 480 00:19:58,488 --> 00:20:00,529 WAIT, HOLD ON, HOLD ON A MINUTE. 481 00:20:00,530 --> 00:20:01,910 I WANNA MAKE SURE I'M DOING THIS RIGHT. 482 00:20:01,911 --> 00:20:02,822 - OKAY. - OKAY. 483 00:20:02,823 --> 00:20:04,243 OKAY. 484 00:20:04,244 --> 00:20:05,824 YEAH, NO, WAIT... 485 00:20:05,825 --> 00:20:06,875 YOU SERIOUS? 486 00:20:06,876 --> 00:20:07,997 HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO... 487 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,502 HEY, GUYS, I JUST GOT A TEXT FROM RYDER. HE WANTS TO VIDEO CHAT WITH US. 488 00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:16,465 WHAT? CAN'T HE JUST COME HOME? I MEAN, GLEN'S HOUSE IS 10 BLOCKS AWAY. 489 00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:17,506 HOW LAZY IS HE? 490 00:20:17,507 --> 00:20:20,008 - MEL... - OH, RIGHT, IT'S RYDER. 491 00:20:20,009 --> 00:20:21,179 WHATEVER. ALL RIGHT, LOOK, 492 00:20:21,180 --> 00:20:23,802 LET'S JUST TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO SET HIM STRAIGHT, 493 00:20:23,803 --> 00:20:24,843 BUT NICELY. 494 00:20:24,844 --> 00:20:27,936 YOU HAVE SPEND AT LEAST ONE YEAR IN COLLEGE AND THEN YOU CAN JOIN AMERICORPS. 495 00:20:27,937 --> 00:20:30,609 OKAY, YEAH, BUT WE HAVE TO MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE IT'S HIS DECISION, NOT OURS. 496 00:20:30,610 --> 00:20:31,940 YES, EXACTLY. ALL RIGHT. 497 00:20:31,941 --> 00:20:32,981 - TEAM. TEAM. YO. - ALL RIGHT. 498 00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:34,313 - YEAH. ALL RIGHT. - READY? 499 00:20:34,314 --> 00:20:35,354 YUP. 500 00:20:35,355 --> 00:20:36,405 HEY, GUYS! 501 00:20:36,406 --> 00:20:37,946 - All: HEY! - WHAT'S UP, MAN? 502 00:20:37,947 --> 00:20:39,157 ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP, BEAVIS, 503 00:20:39,158 --> 00:20:40,198 YOU'RE NOT DOING AMERICORPS. 504 00:20:40,199 --> 00:20:43,242 KISS JULIET GOODBYE, LEAVE GLEN'S HOUSE, AND GET YOUR ASS TO COLLEGE. 505 00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,915 THOUGH SHE WASN'T VERY TACTFUL, WE AGREE WITH LENNOX. 506 00:20:46,916 --> 00:20:48,747 WE'D LIKE YOU TO COME BACK FROM GLEN'S HOUSE NOW. 507 00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:50,999 I REALLY CAN'T 508 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,872 BECAUSE I'M KIND OF IN NEW ORLEANS. 509 00:20:55,174 --> 00:20:58,216 PLEASE TELL ME THAT'S A NEW ORLEANS-THEMED RESTAURANT IN OHIO. 510 00:20:58,217 --> 00:21:01,049 NOPE. GOOD OLD NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA, 511 00:21:01,050 --> 00:21:03,182 THE BIG APPLE! 512 00:21:04,844 --> 00:21:07,015 WELL, I HOPPED A PLANE WITH JULIET, 513 00:21:07,016 --> 00:21:08,187 AND I'M HERE TO HELP THE CHILDREN. 514 00:21:09,188 --> 00:21:11,851 CAN YOU GUYS SEND ME SOME OF MY UNDERWEAR AND MY VIDEO GAMES? 515 00:21:12,892 --> 00:21:14,232 I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU, RYDER. 516 00:21:14,233 --> 00:21:17,025 YEAH, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FORGOT YOUR VIDEO GAMES. 517 00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:18,567 OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME. 518 00:21:18,568 --> 00:21:19,898 WE WENT TO SEE A VOODOO PSYCHIC, 519 00:21:19,899 --> 00:21:21,401 AND EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE FINE. 520 00:21:22,612 --> 00:21:25,745 OH, I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER.