1 00:00:09,090 --> 00:00:11,841 OH! SORRY! THE TOWN HALL MEETING RAN LATE. 2 00:00:11,842 --> 00:00:13,513 WE HAD TO VOTE SIX TIMES ON WHETHER OR NOT 3 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:16,015 SOME OLD LADY COULD PRUNE HER SHRUBBERY TO LOOK LIKE APHRODITE 4 00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,897 AND ADONIS HITTING IT DOGGY STYLE. 5 00:00:17,898 --> 00:00:19,849 HOW'D THE VOTE GO? 6 00:00:19,850 --> 00:00:21,561 WELL, LET'S JUST SAY THE SCHOOL DISTRICT 7 00:00:21,562 --> 00:00:23,022 IS GONNA HAVE TO REROUTE THEIR BUSES. 8 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:25,985 BUT THE IMPORTANT THING IS I'M HERE FOR US ALL 9 00:00:25,986 --> 00:00:28,648 TO VIDEO CHAT WITH RYDER AND WISH HIM A HAPPY EIGHTEENTH BIRTHDAY! 10 00:00:28,649 --> 00:00:30,450 - WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO, UM... - YES! 11 00:00:30,451 --> 00:00:32,612 ACTIVATE! COMPUTER! GO! 12 00:00:32,613 --> 00:00:35,455 WELL, IF YOU'RE GONNA CHARM ME... 13 00:00:35,456 --> 00:00:38,958 WHERE'S DANI? WE ALL WROTE THE BIRTHDAY SONG TOGETHER, WE ALL HAVE TO SING IT TO HIM. 14 00:00:38,959 --> 00:00:41,422 I'LL INVITE HER. YO, DANI! 15 00:00:42,713 --> 00:00:46,836 WHAT? IN MY FAMILY, THAT'S A FORMAL INVITATION. 16 00:00:46,837 --> 00:00:50,380 IF THIS IS ABOUT THE MATH TEST, I HAVE A TOTALLY LEGITIMATE EXPLANATION. 17 00:00:50,381 --> 00:00:53,973 - WHAT MATH TEST? - (laughs) EXACTLY. 18 00:00:53,974 --> 00:00:56,476 WHAT MATH TEST? 19 00:00:56,477 --> 00:00:58,308 - DANI... OH! IT'S CONNECTING. - (beeping) 20 00:00:58,309 --> 00:01:01,020 WE GOT RYDER IN NEW ORLEANS. 21 00:01:01,021 --> 00:01:03,062 - (computer chimes) - Hey, guys! 22 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,104 All: HEY! 23 00:01:04,105 --> 00:01:05,565 Uh... what's hap... 24 00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:06,986 (computer chimes) 25 00:01:06,987 --> 00:01:09,569 OH, "CALL FAILED." THAT'S A RELIEF. 26 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:13,113 I THOUGHT RYDER HAD A STROKE. JOE, MAKE THE INTERNET WORK! 27 00:01:13,114 --> 00:01:16,497 OKAY, CALM DOWN, MEL. VIDEO CHATS NEVER GO THROUGH THE FIRST TIME. 28 00:01:18,409 --> 00:01:23,293 - OR THE NINTH TIME. - TENTH, BUT WHO'S COUNTING? 29 00:01:23,294 --> 00:01:25,004 (theme music playing) 30 00:01:25,005 --> 00:01:26,466 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD ♪ - ♪ All good ♪ 31 00:01:26,467 --> 00:01:28,258 - ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪ - ♪ Okay ♪ 32 00:01:28,259 --> 00:01:29,969 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT ♪ - ♪ All right ♪ 33 00:01:29,970 --> 00:01:31,841 ♪ AS FAR AS I CAN SEE ♪ 34 00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:33,303 - ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD ♪ - ♪ All good ♪ 35 00:01:33,304 --> 00:01:35,595 - ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪ - ♪ Okay ♪ 36 00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:36,926 - ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT ♪ - ♪ All right ♪ 37 00:01:36,927 --> 00:01:39,929 ♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK ♪ 38 00:01:39,930 --> 00:01:42,933 ♪ WITH ME ♪ 39 00:01:46,567 --> 00:01:50,990 YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU WATCH 24, THERE'S NEVER A GLITCH WITH THEIR VIDEO CALLS. 40 00:01:50,991 --> 00:01:54,864 MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE THEY HAVE THAT AWESOME PRETEND INTERNET. 41 00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:57,287 I ACTUALLY THINK I FIGURED OUT A WAY THAT WE CAN REACH RYDER, THOUGH. 42 00:01:57,288 --> 00:02:00,740 - OH. GOOD, WHAT DO I DO? - WE'RE GONNA CALL HIM. 43 00:02:00,741 --> 00:02:02,582 ON THE PHONE. 44 00:02:02,583 --> 00:02:04,043 BUT THEN I WON'T BE ABLE TO SEE HIM 45 00:02:04,044 --> 00:02:07,377 AND WITNESS THAT MOMENT WHEN HE TRANSITIONS FROM BOY TO MAN. 46 00:02:07,378 --> 00:02:09,249 YEAH, HONEY, I THINK THAT'S ALREADY HAPPENED, 47 00:02:09,250 --> 00:02:12,922 AND LUCKILY WE WEREN'T THERE TO WITNESS THAT. 48 00:02:12,923 --> 00:02:14,924 LOOK, I KNOW IT'S A BIG DEAL TO YOU. 49 00:02:14,925 --> 00:02:17,096 IT'S HIS BIRTHDAY, BUT WE CAN JUST CALL HIM ON THE PHONE. 50 00:02:17,097 --> 00:02:18,678 THAT'S JUST AS GOOD AS A VIDEO CALL. 51 00:02:18,679 --> 00:02:21,891 YOU'RE RIGHT. A PHONE CALL IS FINE. 52 00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:24,974 I'M SORRY. GIVE ME A KISS, YOU BIG STUD. 53 00:02:24,975 --> 00:02:28,568 - MM... - OR MAYBE I'LL JUST WAVE. 54 00:02:28,569 --> 00:02:31,030 AND MAYBE INSTEAD OF SEX, WE CAN JUST HIGH FIVE. 55 00:02:31,031 --> 00:02:34,274 HONEY, HONEY. LOOK, I KNOW HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO YOU. 56 00:02:34,275 --> 00:02:35,905 BUT WE TRIED. I TRIED SKYPE. 57 00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:38,117 I TRIED FACETIME. I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO. 58 00:02:38,118 --> 00:02:41,201 YOU KNOW WHAT? OKAY. MAYBE IT'S THE ROUTER. 59 00:02:41,202 --> 00:02:42,952 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL UNPLUG IT, WE CAN RESET IT. 60 00:02:42,953 --> 00:02:44,994 WE'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS. IT SHOULD TAKE, LIKE, THREE MINUTES. 61 00:02:44,995 --> 00:02:48,047 THREE MINUTES? THAT'S FOREVER. WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO FOR THREE MINUTES? 62 00:02:48,048 --> 00:02:52,712 WE COULD HARD BOIL AN EGG, OR, UH... 63 00:02:52,713 --> 00:02:55,425 YOU KNOW, WE COULD HAVE SOME SEX. 64 00:02:55,426 --> 00:02:59,009 IS IT JUST ME, OR SINCE MARRIAGE HAS YOUR GAME GONE WAY DOWNHILL? 65 00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:02,302 LENNOX, CAN I GET A LITTLE ADVICE? 66 00:03:02,303 --> 00:03:04,354 WAIT, YOU'RE ASKING ME FOR ADVICE? 67 00:03:04,355 --> 00:03:07,897 YOU GREW UP ON THE ROAD WITH ROCK BANDS. I THOUGHT YOU KNEW EVERYTHING. 68 00:03:07,898 --> 00:03:11,190 I KNOW WHAT GENE SIMMONS LOOKS LIKE IN SPANX, 69 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:15,024 BUT I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT BOYS UNDER 60. 70 00:03:15,025 --> 00:03:17,487 OKAY, THAT'S AN IMAGE I DON'T NEED, 71 00:03:17,488 --> 00:03:20,580 BUT I'M ALL EARS. 72 00:03:20,581 --> 00:03:23,743 WELL, I TEXTED THIS BOY, ABOUT, YOU KNOW, HANGING OUT, 73 00:03:23,744 --> 00:03:24,994 AND HE HASN'T TEXT ME BACK. 74 00:03:24,995 --> 00:03:27,957 SO WHEN I TEXT HIM AGAIN, WHAT SHOULD I SAY? 75 00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:29,249 DON'T SAY ANYTHING, 76 00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:31,000 BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO LOOK LIKE A DESPERATE FREAK, 77 00:03:31,001 --> 00:03:33,423 AND THERE'S NO RECOVERING FROM THE DOUBLE TEXT. 78 00:03:33,424 --> 00:03:37,837 - HOW DO YOU KNOW? - IT HAPPENED TO ME. 79 00:03:37,838 --> 00:03:40,009 IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO. 80 00:03:40,010 --> 00:03:42,722 IT WAS A FLIP PHONE. 81 00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:44,725 A WHAT? 82 00:03:49,149 --> 00:03:50,980 CAN WE PLUG IT IN NOW? 83 00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:53,983 NO, IT'S ONLY BEEN TWO MINUTES AND 17 SECONDS. OKAY? 84 00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:55,905 THE BAROMETRIC PRESSURE IS 29.9. 85 00:03:55,906 --> 00:03:59,739 OH, AND IT'S ALMOST LUNCHTIME IN JAKARTA. (laughs) I LOVE MY WATCH. 86 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,821 GUESS WHAT? 87 00:04:01,822 --> 00:04:04,073 DANI JUST CAME TO ME FOR ADVICE, AND I GAVE IT TO HER. 88 00:04:04,074 --> 00:04:06,866 AH! NOW I KNOW THE SATISFACTION YOU FEEL WHEN YOU GIVE ME ADVICE. 89 00:04:06,867 --> 00:04:09,919 OH, HONEY, I DON'T GIVE YOU ADVICE FOR THE FEELING OF SATISFACTION. 90 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:12,332 I GIVE IT TO YOU FOR THE FEELING OF SUPERIORITY. 91 00:04:12,333 --> 00:04:14,754 NO, YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST FOR THE FIRST TIME I FEEL LIKE 92 00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,966 I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A LITTLE SISTER. 93 00:04:16,967 --> 00:04:18,468 OH! THIS IS SO WONDERFUL! 94 00:04:18,469 --> 00:04:21,090 I HAVE MENTORED YOU INTO BECOMING A MENTOR! 95 00:04:21,091 --> 00:04:25,014 WOW. HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO MAKE THIS ABOUT YOU SO QUICKLY? 96 00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:26,766 SOMEDAY, I'LL TEACH YOU. 97 00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:29,018 - HOW ABOUT NOW? - THIS IS NOT A TOASTER, HONEY. 98 00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:31,891 ALL RIGHT? THIS IS A PRECISION PIECE OF ELECTRONIC EQUIPMENT. 99 00:04:31,892 --> 00:04:33,653 OKAY. ALL RIGHT, READY? 100 00:04:33,654 --> 00:04:37,157 SIX, FIVE, FOUR, THREE... 101 00:04:38,899 --> 00:04:40,109 CLOSE ENOUGH. 102 00:04:40,110 --> 00:04:43,242 - OH! OKAY. HERE WE GO. - (computer chimes) 103 00:04:43,243 --> 00:04:46,536 AND THE INTERNET IS BACK TO FULL... TRICKLE. WHAT? 104 00:04:46,537 --> 00:04:48,408 I DON'T GET IT! 105 00:04:48,409 --> 00:04:50,580 WELL, YOU DID EVERYTHING YOU COULD. 106 00:04:50,581 --> 00:04:52,912 I MEAN, NO ONE COULD HAVE DONE ANY MORE. 107 00:04:52,913 --> 00:04:54,964 EXCEPT MAYBE A PROFESSIONAL, WHICH IS WHY I THINK 108 00:04:54,965 --> 00:04:57,297 IT WOULDN'T BE A BAD THING RIGHT NOW TO CALL JIFFY NERDS. 109 00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:01,591 THE GUYS IN THE ORANGE SMART CARS? 110 00:05:01,592 --> 00:05:04,924 THEY'RE PROFESSIONAL NERDS, ANY CAR THEY GET IN IS GONNA BE SMART. 111 00:05:04,925 --> 00:05:06,516 I CAN FIX THIS MYSELF, MEL. 112 00:05:06,517 --> 00:05:10,189 JOE, DARLING, TENDER JOE, I LOVE YOU. 113 00:05:10,190 --> 00:05:13,984 AND EVEN IF YOU CAN'T FIX EVERYTHING IN THE HOUSE, I WILL STILL LOVE YOU. 114 00:05:16,857 --> 00:05:19,439 THAT IS THE CRUELEST THING YOU'VE EVER SAID TO ME. 115 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:21,571 OH, HEY, YOU GUYS, I JUST TEXT RYDER. 116 00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:23,903 AND HE'S GOING OUT WITH HIS FRIENDS LATER, BUT HE'S HOME RIGHT NOW. 117 00:05:23,904 --> 00:05:25,865 SO WE CAN JUST TEXT HIM "HAPPY BIRTHDAY." 118 00:05:25,866 --> 00:05:27,997 LENNOX, DO NOT GO THERE. 119 00:05:27,998 --> 00:05:30,249 TEXT HIM "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"? 120 00:05:30,250 --> 00:05:32,041 TOO LATE. 121 00:05:32,042 --> 00:05:34,714 WHY DON'T WE JUST GET SOME CANDLES AND STICK THEM IN SOME DOG POO? 122 00:05:34,715 --> 00:05:36,876 'CAUSE THAT'S THE SAME THING AS CAKE, RIGHT? 123 00:05:36,877 --> 00:05:39,419 HEY, RYDER WILL EAT ALMOST ANYTHING. 124 00:05:39,420 --> 00:05:42,962 OKAY, WE ARE NOT DOING THIS BY PHONE, OR BY TEXT. 125 00:05:42,963 --> 00:05:46,095 WE'RE GONNA BE TALKING TO OUR LOVED ONE ON THE BIG COMPUTER SCREEN, 126 00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:50,229 ALL OF US, FACE TO VIRTUAL FACE! ANY QUESTIONS? 127 00:05:50,230 --> 00:05:51,432 THE ANSWER IS "NO." 128 00:05:52,893 --> 00:05:54,564 I THINK I FOUND OUT WHAT THE PROBLEM IS. HA! 129 00:05:54,565 --> 00:05:56,105 I JUST NEED TO UPDATE OUR OPERATING SYSTEM. 130 00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,737 HOW LONG WILL THAT TAKE? 131 00:05:57,738 --> 00:06:00,069 FASTER THAN A NERD CAN GET HERE IN A SMART CAR, BABY. 132 00:06:00,070 --> 00:06:01,611 (beeping) 133 00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:03,903 THERE WE GO. ALL RIGHT, DOWNLOAD WILL BE COMPLETE IN... 134 00:06:03,904 --> 00:06:05,785 FIVE MINUTES. YOU'RE WELCOME. 135 00:06:05,786 --> 00:06:07,156 - (computer beeps) - OH. THREE MINUTES. 136 00:06:07,157 --> 00:06:08,448 YEAH. I'M AWESOME. 137 00:06:08,449 --> 00:06:10,159 - (beeps) - TWELVE MINUTES. 138 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:13,453 - UM... TWO HOURS. - (beeping) 139 00:06:13,454 --> 00:06:16,586 - 300 HOURS? -HOW IS IT GOING UP? JOE, DO SOMETHING! 140 00:06:16,587 --> 00:06:19,839 I'M TRYING! ABORT, ABORT! INTERRUPT SCRIPT! HOLD ON! WAIT A MINUTE! OH! 141 00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:22,502 HEY! I GOT IT. OKAY. I JUST STOPPED THE DOWNLOAD! 142 00:06:22,503 --> 00:06:24,554 - (laughs) -WELL, CONGRATULATIONS, JACK BAUER. 143 00:06:24,555 --> 00:06:26,005 AND THIS HELPS US HOW? 144 00:06:26,006 --> 00:06:27,967 HOW? BECAUSE NOW WE DEFINITELY KNOW IT'S THE ROUTER, HONEY. 145 00:06:27,968 --> 00:06:31,892 AND IF THERE'S ONE THING I KNOW ABOUT ROUTERS, IT'S... 146 00:06:33,604 --> 00:06:35,605 ROUTERS. TRUST ME. 147 00:06:35,606 --> 00:06:37,938 OF COURSE I TRUST YOU. 148 00:06:38,939 --> 00:06:40,359 HELLO, JIFFY NERDS? 149 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:42,071 I NEED YOU RIGHT NOW. MY NAME IS... 150 00:06:42,072 --> 00:06:45,194 YOU ALREADY KNOW MY NAME? AND MY ADDRESS? 151 00:06:45,195 --> 00:06:47,868 WOW, YOU GUYS ARE GOOD. 152 00:06:52,583 --> 00:06:56,496 (air hissing) 153 00:06:56,497 --> 00:06:59,839 WOW. LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY THREW A TEENY-TINY HAND GRENADE AT YOUR ROUTER. 154 00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:03,132 YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW, DUST CAN REALLY FOUL UP FRAGILE EQUIPMENT LIKE THIS. 155 00:07:03,133 --> 00:07:05,505 SO, UH, I SHOULD HAVE US UP AND RUNNING VERY SOON. 156 00:07:05,506 --> 00:07:07,346 THAT IS ONE THING I'M SURE OF. 157 00:07:07,347 --> 00:07:08,508 BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE. 158 00:07:08,509 --> 00:07:10,389 I'M SO LUCKY TO HAVE YOU. 159 00:07:10,390 --> 00:07:13,052 YOU KNOW, A MAN IS NOTHING WITHOUT A GOOD WOMAN RIGHT BY HIS SIDE. 160 00:07:13,053 --> 00:07:15,725 OH, AND THAT'S WHERE I AM. RIGHT HERE BY YOUR SIDE. 161 00:07:15,726 --> 00:07:17,898 - (doorbell rings) - GOTTA GO! 162 00:07:23,614 --> 00:07:27,827 YOU CALLED. WE HEARD. YOUR PROBLEM WILL BE CURED. I'M A JIFFY NERD. 163 00:07:27,828 --> 00:07:30,329 OH, GOOD, YOU'RE HERE. THANK YOU FOR COMING AROUND THE BACK. 164 00:07:30,330 --> 00:07:32,703 NO PROB. (grunts) 165 00:07:34,835 --> 00:07:36,786 WE'RE TRYING TO MAKE A VIDEO CALL AND IT'S NOT WORKING 166 00:07:36,787 --> 00:07:38,788 AND MY HUSBAND THINKS HE CAN FIX IT HIMSELF. 167 00:07:38,789 --> 00:07:41,420 OH, WE GET THAT ALL THE TIME. IN FACT, MOST OF OUR BUSINESS 168 00:07:41,421 --> 00:07:43,543 IS HUSBANDS FIXING THINGS. 169 00:07:43,544 --> 00:07:45,845 HAS IT BEEN THROWN AGAINST A WALL IN FRUSTRATION YET? 170 00:07:45,846 --> 00:07:47,967 MY HUSBAND OR THE COMPUTER? 171 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,009 THEY'RE BOTH FINE. FOR NOW. 172 00:07:50,010 --> 00:07:51,971 - UH, WHERE'S THE COMPUTER? - IN THE LIVING ROOM. 173 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,803 - OKAY. -WHOA! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING? 174 00:07:53,804 --> 00:07:57,016 I FIND IT HELPS IF I'M IN THE SAME ROOM AS THE MACHINE. 175 00:07:57,017 --> 00:07:59,188 I JUST WANT TO VIDEO CHAT WITH MY NEPHEW. 176 00:07:59,189 --> 00:08:00,810 TODAY IS HIS EIGHTEENTH BIRTHDAY. 177 00:08:00,811 --> 00:08:02,522 AT LEAST FOR ANOTHER 23 MINUTES. 178 00:08:02,523 --> 00:08:04,734 AND YOU WANT TO BE ABLE TO TALK TO HIM ON HIS ACTUAL BIRTHDAY. 179 00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:06,866 THANK YOU! 180 00:08:06,867 --> 00:08:09,278 WE HAD A CONNECTION FOR A SECOND, BUT THEN THE SCREEN FROZE. 181 00:08:09,279 --> 00:08:11,662 - WHAT DID IT LOOK LIKE? - LIKE THIS. 182 00:08:13,283 --> 00:08:15,575 NO, I MEAN WAS THE IMAGE PIXILATED? 183 00:08:15,576 --> 00:08:17,997 WAS IT JUST BLACK? I SHOULD REALLY SEE WHAT'S ON THE DISPLAY. 184 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,879 NO PROBLEM. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 185 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:22,461 MA'AM? IT'S COLD OUT HERE. 186 00:08:22,462 --> 00:08:24,924 WHAT? YOU MUST BE ANEMIC, IT'S LIKE A SAUNA OUT HERE. 187 00:08:24,925 --> 00:08:27,047 JUST WARM YOURSELF ON THE DRYER EXHAUST. 188 00:08:30,761 --> 00:08:33,803 LOOK AT YOU, FIXING A COMPUTER. CAN I GET A PICTURE? 189 00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:36,015 OF ME FIXING THE COMPUTER? 190 00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,727 WELL, IN THE OLD DAYS A MAN WOULD BE 191 00:08:37,728 --> 00:08:39,769 RAISING A BARN OR KILLING A BEAR. 192 00:08:39,770 --> 00:08:42,902 THESE ARE THE MOMENTS WOMEN CHERISH. 193 00:08:42,903 --> 00:08:44,815 KNOCK YOURSELF OUT, BABE. 194 00:08:46,857 --> 00:08:48,237 WHAT ARE YOU... YOU WANNA TAKE... 195 00:08:48,238 --> 00:08:50,820 (camera shutter clicks) 196 00:08:50,821 --> 00:08:53,033 YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE IN EVERY PICTURE YOU TAKE. 197 00:08:54,494 --> 00:08:55,956 HONEY. 198 00:08:57,998 --> 00:09:00,750 - (door slams) -HERE YOU GO, EVERYTHING YOU NEED. 199 00:09:00,751 --> 00:09:03,292 - FIX IT. - IT'S A PHOTO OF YOU. 200 00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:06,926 - THERE'S A COMPUTER THERE, TOO. - I CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITH THIS. 201 00:09:06,927 --> 00:09:09,929 SHOULD I EVEN ASK IF I CAN SCAN THE COMPUTER FOR VIRUSES? 202 00:09:09,930 --> 00:09:14,724 (sighs) PRESS CONTROL, F7 AND THAT WILL RUN THE BUILT-IN ANTIVIRUS SCAN. 203 00:09:14,725 --> 00:09:16,556 I'M ALL OVER IT. 204 00:09:18,729 --> 00:09:21,560 MEL, CHECK IT OUT. I HARD-WIRED THE ROUTER. 205 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,182 SO WE SHOULD HAVE A PERFECT SIGNAL. 206 00:09:23,183 --> 00:09:25,775 - YOU FIXED IT? -WELL, YEAH. BUT I'LL KNOW FOR SURE 207 00:09:25,776 --> 00:09:27,947 AS SOON AS I'M DONE REINSTALLING VIDEO CHAT. 208 00:09:27,948 --> 00:09:30,690 OH. OKAY. WELL, IN THE MEANTIME HOW ABOUT I JUST REACH IN HERE 209 00:09:30,691 --> 00:09:35,865 - AND PRESS CONTROL, F7. - WAIT, WAIT! CONTROL, F7? 210 00:09:35,866 --> 00:09:38,077 WHAT ARE YOU INSINUATING? THAT MY COMPUTER HAS A VIRUS? 211 00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:40,620 OF COURSE NOT! 212 00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:43,082 I KEEP MY COMPUTER CLEAN, MEL. 213 00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:45,965 I GOTTA TELL YOU SOMETHING, I'M SHOCKED, 214 00:09:45,966 --> 00:09:47,506 AND A LITTLE HURT. 215 00:09:47,507 --> 00:09:49,920 YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M SORRY. 216 00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:53,633 BACK, BACK, BACK, BACK OFF! ALL RIGHT, LOOK. 217 00:09:53,634 --> 00:09:56,095 YOU EITHER TRUST ME ON THIS OR YOU DON'T TRUST ME ON THIS. 218 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,768 WELL, IF THOSE ARE MY ONLY TWO OPTIONS, THEN... 219 00:09:58,769 --> 00:10:01,061 I TRUST YOU. (laughs) 220 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:09,568 I WAS HOPING THE MEMORY OF HEAT WOULD WARM ME. 221 00:10:09,569 --> 00:10:11,991 HE WOULDN'T LET ME TOUCH THE COMPUTER. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY DO NEXT? 222 00:10:11,992 --> 00:10:13,033 COME INSIDE. 223 00:10:17,497 --> 00:10:20,409 - HEY, DANI. - Dani: HM? 224 00:10:20,410 --> 00:10:22,371 YOU KNOW, UNTIL YOU CAME ALONG, 225 00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:24,043 THE CLOSEST I GOT TO HAVING A LITTLE SISTER 226 00:10:24,044 --> 00:10:26,956 WAS WHEN RYDER WENT THROUGH HIS BRONY PHASE. 227 00:10:26,957 --> 00:10:29,588 SO I WANTED TO SAY THAT I THINK IT'S PRETTY COOL 228 00:10:29,589 --> 00:10:32,802 THAT YOU CAME TO ME FOR SOME "BIG SISTER TO LITTLE SISTER" ADVICE. 229 00:10:32,803 --> 00:10:34,423 YEMM... 230 00:10:34,424 --> 00:10:36,635 AND I THINK IT WAS PRETTY GOOD ADVICE. 231 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,217 YOU KNOW, ABOUT NOT TEXTING THAT BOY. 232 00:10:38,218 --> 00:10:39,598 MM-HM. 233 00:10:39,599 --> 00:10:40,930 WAIT, ARE YOU TEXTING THAT BOY? 234 00:10:40,931 --> 00:10:42,351 - I SAID NO DOUBLE TEXTING! - NO! 235 00:10:42,352 --> 00:10:43,602 - NO, GIVE ME THE PHONE! - NO! 236 00:10:43,603 --> 00:10:44,974 - LET... - LADIES! 237 00:10:44,975 --> 00:10:45,816 TAKE YOUR PILLOW FIGHT UPSTAIRS! 238 00:10:45,817 --> 00:10:47,146 I HAVE A TICKING CLOCK HERE! 239 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,318 - GET... - OH! 240 00:10:49,319 --> 00:10:52,271 (gasps) "JOSHNIBBLING." I KNEW IT! 241 00:10:52,272 --> 00:10:55,905 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M KEEPING THIS UNTIL YOUR CRAZY TEXTING URGE PASSES. 242 00:10:55,906 --> 00:10:57,576 OKAY, YOU'RE RIGHT. 243 00:10:57,577 --> 00:11:00,119 IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER I DIDN'T EVEN HIT "SEND." 244 00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:02,411 SO CAN I PLEASE HAVE MY PHONE BACK? 245 00:11:02,412 --> 00:11:06,455 I SWEAR TO YOU I WILL NOT TEXT HIM. 246 00:11:06,456 --> 00:11:10,050 LITTLE SISTER TO BIG SISTER? 247 00:11:11,842 --> 00:11:15,134 OH, "LITTLE SISTER TO BIG SISTER." I LIKE THAT. 248 00:11:15,135 --> 00:11:16,635 YOUR SOCIAL LIFE WILL THANK ME. 249 00:11:16,636 --> 00:11:19,008 AND "SEND." 250 00:11:19,009 --> 00:11:21,430 YOU SWORE! 251 00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:23,182 HOW ELSE WAS I SUPPOSED TO GET MY PHONE BACK? 252 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,014 OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? 253 00:11:25,015 --> 00:11:26,806 THE NEXT TIME YOU WANT TO ASK ME FOR ADVICE, 254 00:11:26,807 --> 00:11:30,810 HERE'S SOME ADVICE. DON'T. 255 00:11:30,811 --> 00:11:33,612 I THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID, HONEST. 256 00:11:33,613 --> 00:11:35,945 I JUST DON'T THINK IT APPLIES TO KIDS FROM MY GENERATION. 257 00:11:35,946 --> 00:11:37,778 IT'S FINE FOR OLDER FOLKS LIKE YOU. 258 00:11:40,370 --> 00:11:41,620 I'M 20! 259 00:11:41,621 --> 00:11:43,914 UH, YEAH? 260 00:11:45,996 --> 00:11:48,667 (groans) I'VE NEVER BEEN CALLED OLD BEFORE. 261 00:11:48,668 --> 00:11:51,670 OH, NOW I KNOW HOW AUNT MEL FEELS. 262 00:11:51,671 --> 00:11:55,634 - (phone chimes) - IT'S JOSH! 263 00:11:55,635 --> 00:11:57,927 "SORRY, I MEANT TO GET BACK TO YOU SOONER. 264 00:11:57,928 --> 00:12:01,470 THANKS FOR REMINDING ME. SEE YOU AT THE PARTY." 265 00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:04,053 LENNOX, YOUR ADVICE WAS USEFUL. 266 00:12:04,054 --> 00:12:06,685 SOMETIMES A PERSON NEEDS TO HEAR THE WRONG THING 267 00:12:06,686 --> 00:12:08,849 IN ORDER TO KNOW THE RIGHT THING. 268 00:12:11,061 --> 00:12:14,274 YEAH, I GUESS THAT'S WHAT OLDER SISTERS ARE FOR. 269 00:12:16,656 --> 00:12:19,158 - (computer beeps) - YES! YEP! I'M A HERO! 270 00:12:19,159 --> 00:12:21,070 DANI, GET OVER HERE! LOOK AT THIS! 271 00:12:21,071 --> 00:12:23,122 I REINSTALLED THE O.S., UPDATED THE VIDEO CHAT SOFTWARE, 272 00:12:23,123 --> 00:12:24,864 AND NOW WE DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THE WIFI ANYMORE 273 00:12:24,865 --> 00:12:28,788 BECAUSE I JUST HARD-WIRED THE COMPUTER TO THE ROUTER. HUH? AWESOME. 274 00:12:28,789 --> 00:12:32,711 - OH, BOY! CAN I GO NOW? - YES. YES, YOU CAN, HONEY. 275 00:12:32,712 --> 00:12:34,874 TO THE KITCHEN. ALL RIGHT? GO TELL MEL AND LENNOX WE ARE SECONDS AWAY 276 00:12:34,875 --> 00:12:38,138 FROM CONNECTING WITH RYDER AND WISHING HIM A GLITCH-FREE VIRTUAL HAPPY BIRTHDAY. 277 00:12:39,139 --> 00:12:42,301 OH! NO! OH! 278 00:12:42,302 --> 00:12:46,385 I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! CURSE THESE WILD COLTISH LEGS! 279 00:12:46,386 --> 00:12:48,387 PLEASE DON'T BE MAD! 280 00:12:48,388 --> 00:12:51,691 MAD, ME? (chuckles) 281 00:12:52,983 --> 00:12:55,234 SINCE I'M SORT OF RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS... 282 00:12:55,235 --> 00:12:58,948 YOU KNOW, HONEY, I DON'T THINK YOU'RE USING "SORT OF" THE RIGHT WAY. 283 00:12:58,949 --> 00:13:02,361 I CAN MAKE IT RIGHT. COME ON. 284 00:13:02,362 --> 00:13:04,113 - WHERE ARE WE GOING? - UPSTAIRS. 285 00:13:04,114 --> 00:13:06,826 - WHAT'S UPSTAIRS? - NEIGHBOR'S WIFI. 286 00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:08,748 THE NEIGH... WHAT? 287 00:13:09,910 --> 00:13:11,080 OKAY, ALL WE NEED TO DO 288 00:13:11,081 --> 00:13:13,372 IS MAKE A PERISCOPE OUT OF PAPER TOWEL ROLLS AND MIRRORS. 289 00:13:13,373 --> 00:13:15,464 THEN YOU CAN PEEK AT MY HUSBAND'S COMPUTER THROUGH THE WINDOW. 290 00:13:15,465 --> 00:13:17,256 COME ON, YOU'RE A NERD, IT'LL BE EASY. 291 00:13:17,257 --> 00:13:19,678 I NEED TO BE AT THE COMPUTER, TOUCHING IT. 292 00:13:19,679 --> 00:13:22,842 - CAN'T I GO INSIDE? -NO, NO, NO! MY HUSBAND DOESN'T KNOW I CALLED YOU. 293 00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:26,135 CAN'T YOU DO SOMETHING WITHOUT HAVING THE ACTUAL COMPUTER? 294 00:13:26,136 --> 00:13:29,018 WELL, I GUESS I COULD CHECK IF THE TROUBLE IS ON THE OTHER END. 295 00:13:29,019 --> 00:13:32,351 YES! ON THE OTHER END! NOW YOU'RE THINKING LIKE A NERD! 296 00:13:32,352 --> 00:13:35,024 (blows) 297 00:13:35,025 --> 00:13:37,606 OH! WELL, HERE YOU GO. HERE'S YOUR TROUBLE. 298 00:13:37,607 --> 00:13:39,738 YOU HAVE NO WIFI SIGNAL. 299 00:13:39,739 --> 00:13:42,992 I'LL GET MY HOTSPOT OUT OF THE JIFFYMOBILE. BE RIGHT BACK. 300 00:13:42,993 --> 00:13:44,323 GO, 14 MINUTES! 301 00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:46,406 RUN, YOU GLORIOUS NERD, RUN! 302 00:13:54,004 --> 00:13:58,127 YES! FOUR BARS. THANK YOU, MR. AND MRS. BUCHWALD. 303 00:13:58,128 --> 00:14:01,050 I'LL JUST ENTER THEIR PASSWORD. 304 00:14:01,051 --> 00:14:02,221 (computer chimes) 305 00:14:02,222 --> 00:14:03,552 WHAT?! THEY CHANGED IT! 306 00:14:03,553 --> 00:14:06,305 DOESN'T ANYONE TRUST THEIR NEIGHBORS ANYMORE? 307 00:14:06,306 --> 00:14:10,429 - WHAT WAS THE OLD PASSWORD? - THEIR CAT'S NAME: MR. CUTIE PIE. 308 00:14:10,430 --> 00:14:11,811 YOU KNOW, I HATE THAT CAT. 309 00:14:12,933 --> 00:14:14,023 HEY, THEY HAVE KIDS. 310 00:14:14,024 --> 00:14:15,644 - WHAT ABOUT THEIR NAMES? - OH, OKAY. 311 00:14:15,645 --> 00:14:17,066 UH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. UM... 312 00:14:17,067 --> 00:14:19,899 THE, UH... CHUBBY ONE. 313 00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:21,440 UH, "FOOD IN THE HAIR." 314 00:14:21,441 --> 00:14:24,613 AND, UH, "THE ONE WHO'S ALWAYS GOT HIS HANDS IN HIS PANTS." 315 00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:26,986 IS THAT ALL CAPS OR ALL LOWERCASE? 316 00:14:26,987 --> 00:14:28,788 I'M DOING MY BEST HERE! 317 00:14:30,660 --> 00:14:32,041 GETTING A CONNECTION WITH YOUR NEPHEW. 318 00:14:32,042 --> 00:14:33,252 OKAY. REMEMBER, THIS IS JUST A TEST. 319 00:14:33,253 --> 00:14:34,833 NO BIRTHDAY STUFF, NO SINGING. 320 00:14:34,834 --> 00:14:36,795 IN FACT, YOU KNOW WHAT? RYDER SHOULDN'T SEE ME AT ALL. 321 00:14:36,796 --> 00:14:38,918 HE'LL FEEL BAD IF IT'S NOT ALL OF US TOGETHER. 322 00:14:38,919 --> 00:14:39,919 Ryder: Hey, it's Ryder. 323 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:42,001 Do I know you? 324 00:14:42,002 --> 00:14:44,383 JIFFY NERD. JUST TESTING THE CONNECTION. 325 00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:47,967 - Yeah. -HEY, WEREN'T YOU THE GAME MASTER AT THAT LASER TAG PLACE? 326 00:14:47,968 --> 00:14:50,639 HEY, YEAH, I KNOW YOU. YOU WERE THE GUY THAT USED TO COME IN 327 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,561 ALL THE TIME WITH THE REALLY HOT MOM. 328 00:14:52,562 --> 00:14:54,813 - YEAH, MAN! GOOD TO SEE YOU. - Dani: AUNT MEL! 329 00:14:54,814 --> 00:14:56,895 I'VE OUTLIVED MY USEFULNESS. 330 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,227 OH, YOU POOR THING. 331 00:14:58,228 --> 00:15:00,070 TELL ME EVERYTHING. SOMEWHERE ELSE. 332 00:15:01,611 --> 00:15:03,732 OKAY. I'M ALL EARS. 333 00:15:03,733 --> 00:15:05,824 TALK. QUICKLY. 334 00:15:05,825 --> 00:15:08,287 OKAY, WELL, I THOUGHT I WAS BEING A BIG SISTER TO DANI 335 00:15:08,288 --> 00:15:10,789 BY GIVING HER WHAT I HUMBLY WOULD CONSIDER GREAT ADVICE, 336 00:15:10,790 --> 00:15:13,202 BUT THEN SHE JUST GOES AND DOES THE OPPOSITE. 337 00:15:13,203 --> 00:15:15,624 OH, SWEETIE. QUICKER. 338 00:15:15,625 --> 00:15:17,296 WELL, SHE CONSIDERS ME A RELIC. 339 00:15:17,297 --> 00:15:20,170 YOU KNOW, AT 20 YEARS OLD I HAVE NOTHING MORE TO OFFER. 340 00:15:21,631 --> 00:15:23,132 OH, I'M LIKE ONE OF THOSE OLD LADIES 341 00:15:23,133 --> 00:15:25,214 THAT USED TO COME TO OUR SCHOOL AND TALK ABOUT SMOKING. 342 00:15:25,215 --> 00:15:27,846 OH, THERE, THERE. 343 00:15:27,847 --> 00:15:31,390 - BETTER? -SERIOUSLY? THAT'S ALL I GET? "THERE, THERE"? 344 00:15:31,391 --> 00:15:33,812 SOMETIMES THAT'S ENOUGH. OKAY? 345 00:15:33,813 --> 00:15:36,725 NOW I THINK YOU SHOULD GO TO YOUR ROOM AND THINK ABOUT THIS. 346 00:15:36,726 --> 00:15:38,267 YEAH, "THERE, THERE." OH! 347 00:15:38,268 --> 00:15:40,609 YOU'LL SEE. IT'S LIKE A TIME-RELEASE THING. 348 00:15:40,610 --> 00:15:41,901 OKAY? GO. 349 00:15:43,984 --> 00:15:47,276 WHY WOULD YOU GIVE UP A JOB WHERE YOU CAN PLAY ENDLESS FREE LASER TAG? 350 00:15:47,277 --> 00:15:49,198 I wanted to do something meaningful. 351 00:15:49,199 --> 00:15:52,911 I volunteered for AmeriCorps. 352 00:15:52,912 --> 00:15:54,743 No, seriously, I just followed a hot girl. 353 00:15:54,744 --> 00:15:57,956 HEY, I'M NOT PAYING YOU A HUNDRED DOLLARS TO GAB! HANG UP! 354 00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:00,169 UH, GOTTA GO, DUDE. GREAT CATCHING UP. 355 00:16:00,170 --> 00:16:03,582 Later. Thanks for calling me on my birthday. You were the only one. 356 00:16:03,583 --> 00:16:05,844 OKAY, IT'S NOT YOUR WIFI. 357 00:16:05,845 --> 00:16:07,426 SO THEN THAT MEANS... 358 00:16:07,427 --> 00:16:09,468 IT MEANS, I SWEAR, IF YOU JUST LET ME HOLD 359 00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:11,930 THE BROKEN COMPUTER, I CAN FIX IT IN FIVE MINUTES. 360 00:16:11,931 --> 00:16:14,643 OKAY. I JUST HAVE TO DISTRACT MY HUSBAND. 361 00:16:14,644 --> 00:16:17,476 UM... OOH, I'LL JUST TAKE HIM UPSTAIRS FOR A QUICKIE. OKAY WITH YOU? 362 00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:20,149 ACTUALLY, YOU'RE GROSSING ME OUT, BUT ANYTHING TO GET INSIDE. 363 00:16:20,150 --> 00:16:22,861 OKAY, COME ON. 364 00:16:22,862 --> 00:16:24,363 OKAY, SO MR. BUCHWALD IS A SPORTS NUT, 365 00:16:24,364 --> 00:16:26,985 SO IF IT'S NOT "GO BENGALS" OR "GO INDIANS," 366 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,867 THEN IT'S GOTTA BE, UM... 367 00:16:28,868 --> 00:16:30,819 OOH! "GO CAVALIERS." 368 00:16:30,820 --> 00:16:32,071 - (computer chimes) - WE'RE IN! 369 00:16:32,072 --> 00:16:35,574 - WAS I RIGHT? -OH, I WASN'T LISTENING. I HAD MY OWN IDEA. 370 00:16:35,575 --> 00:16:38,497 (laughs) GUESS WHAT THE BUCHWALD'S WIFI PASSWORD IS. 371 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:41,541 - WHAT? - "BUCHWALDWIFI." 372 00:16:43,923 --> 00:16:45,964 SO, DAUGHTER, WE DID IT! 373 00:16:45,965 --> 00:16:48,257 ACTUALLY, I DID IT. 374 00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:50,469 YOU KNOW, HONEY, JUST A LITTLE LIFE LESSON HERE: 375 00:16:50,470 --> 00:16:53,092 WHEN YOU HAVE A VICTORY, IT'S NICE TO SPREAD THE JOY AROUND. 376 00:16:53,093 --> 00:16:54,843 ESPECIALLY WITH THE PERSON WHO PAYS YOUR ALLOWANCE. 377 00:16:54,844 --> 00:16:57,806 - GOT IT. - GOT IT. OKAY. 378 00:16:57,807 --> 00:17:00,018 AND WITH FIVE MINUTES TO SPARE, I'M GONNA GO TELL MEL AND LENNOX 379 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,901 WE'RE GONNA MAKE THAT BIRTHDAY CALL. 380 00:17:02,902 --> 00:17:06,024 OKAY, LOOK, WHILE I AM UPSTAIRS WORKING MY MAGIC ON MY HUSBAND, 381 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,107 YOU NEED TO BE DOWNSTAIRS WORKING YOUR MAGIC ON THE COMPUTER. 382 00:17:08,108 --> 00:17:10,239 BUT, YOU KNOW, NOT THE SAME KIND OF MAGIC. 383 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:14,073 WOULDN'T IT BE EASIER IF YOU JUST USED MY COMPUTER TO MAKE THE CALL? 384 00:17:14,074 --> 00:17:15,455 MY HUSBAND CANNOT KNOW YOU'RE HERE! 385 00:17:16,866 --> 00:17:18,497 WHO THE HELL IS THIS? 386 00:17:18,498 --> 00:17:20,539 UH... JOE, 387 00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:24,253 I... I CAN'T KEEP THIS A SECRET ANY LONGER! 388 00:17:24,254 --> 00:17:25,795 THIS IS MY LOVER! 389 00:17:28,798 --> 00:17:32,381 YOUR LOVER, HUH? WHO CONVENIENTLY JUST HAPPENS TO FIX COMPUTERS? 390 00:17:32,382 --> 00:17:36,095 WELL, UH, I GOT SICK OF THE MUSCLE-Y, HUNKY TYPE, AND DECIDED TO CHANGE IT UP. 391 00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:38,978 - YOU KNOW, TRY ME SOME SCRAWNY. - HEY! 392 00:17:40,230 --> 00:17:43,852 FINE, I CALLED A JIFFY NERD. 393 00:17:43,853 --> 00:17:45,604 FLASH, JOE. JOE, FLASH. 394 00:17:45,605 --> 00:17:48,357 I'VE BEEN IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS ARGUMENT TOO MANY TIMES. 395 00:17:48,358 --> 00:17:50,819 MY THERAPIST SAYS IT'S WHY I CAN NEVER LOVE. 396 00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:53,992 SO IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME... 397 00:17:53,993 --> 00:17:55,995 YOUR BILL IS IN YOUR INBOX. 398 00:17:57,247 --> 00:17:58,957 I TOLD YOU I WAS GONNA FIX THE INTERNET, 399 00:17:58,958 --> 00:18:01,910 AND I FIXED THE INTERNET. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE HONESTY HERE? 400 00:18:01,911 --> 00:18:04,703 THERE'S NO TIME FOR HONESTY. WE ONLY HAVE FOUR MINUTES TILL WE HAVE TO CALL RYDER. 401 00:18:04,704 --> 00:18:06,585 SO IT'S OKAY TO LIE BEHIND MY BACK AS LONG AS RYDER 402 00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,006 GETS HIS BIRTHDAY CALL BEFORE MIDNIGHT? 403 00:18:08,007 --> 00:18:09,798 SEE? I KNEW YOU'D UNDERSTAND. 404 00:18:09,799 --> 00:18:13,011 HEY, ARE WE CALLING RYDER OR NOT? 405 00:18:13,012 --> 00:18:15,013 NO, I DON'T REALLY FEEL LIKE SINGING. YOU GUYS GO AHEAD. 406 00:18:15,014 --> 00:18:17,015 WHAT? NO! WE ALL HAVE TO SING OR IT DOESN'T COUNT! 407 00:18:17,016 --> 00:18:19,808 MEL, WHY... WHY IS THIS SO IMPORTANT TO YOU? 408 00:18:19,809 --> 00:18:22,561 DO YOU WANT RYDER TO BE HURT AND UPSET ABOUT THIS 409 00:18:22,562 --> 00:18:26,185 FOR YEARS AND YEARS TO COME, UNTIL HE'S A GROWN WOMAN? 410 00:18:26,186 --> 00:18:28,397 OKAY, I THINK WE'RE ONTO SOMETHING HERE. NOBODY MOVE. 411 00:18:28,398 --> 00:18:32,861 MY WHOLE LIFE MY FATHER WAS NEVER THERE FOR MY BIRTHDAY. 412 00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:35,324 YOU KNOW, IT JUST FELT LIKE THAT DAY JUST WASN'T IMPORTANT TO HIM. 413 00:18:35,325 --> 00:18:39,448 BUT FOR MY SIXTEENTH BIRTHDAY HE SWORE HE WOULD BE THERE. 414 00:18:39,449 --> 00:18:42,581 SO WE HAD A BIG PARTY, AND HE DIDN'T SHOW UP. 415 00:18:42,582 --> 00:18:45,794 AND I WAS STANDING THERE IN A ROOM FULL OF MY FRIENDS 416 00:18:45,795 --> 00:18:48,046 IN MY BEAUTIFUL PINK STRAPLESS DRESS 417 00:18:48,047 --> 00:18:51,009 WITH TEARS AND MASCARA STREAMING DOWN MY FACE, 418 00:18:51,010 --> 00:18:53,802 AND I JUST DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN TO RYDER! 419 00:18:53,803 --> 00:18:57,136 BELIEVE ME, I DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN RYDER EITHER. 420 00:18:58,888 --> 00:19:01,930 ALL RIGHT, WE'RE SINGING HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE BOY. 421 00:19:01,931 --> 00:19:04,644 TO THE NEIGHBORS' WIFI! COME ON. 422 00:19:05,935 --> 00:19:07,065 IT'S TWO MINUTES TO MIDNIGHT! 423 00:19:07,066 --> 00:19:08,647 - DIAL IT! - NO, WAIT, WAIT! 424 00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:10,899 WE HAVEN'T REHEARSED THE SPECIAL BIRTHDAY SONG SINCE YESTERDAY. 425 00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:13,111 - COME ON, ONE PRACTICE ROUND. - LENNOX, WHAT'S BETTER, 426 00:19:13,112 --> 00:19:14,943 SINGING THE VERSES TOGETHER OR DIVIDING IT UP? 427 00:19:14,944 --> 00:19:17,075 OH, SUDDENLY YOU WANT GRANDMA'S ADVICE? 428 00:19:17,076 --> 00:19:18,617 LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, MISSY: 429 00:19:18,618 --> 00:19:21,330 BACK IN MY DAY, WE ALL SANG TOGETHER. 430 00:19:21,331 --> 00:19:24,663 - ALL RIGHT. READY? - OKAY. 431 00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,955 ♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU ♪ 432 00:19:26,956 --> 00:19:28,837 ♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RYDER ♪ 433 00:19:28,838 --> 00:19:31,290 ♪ WE'RE SENDING YOU A LOT OF LOVE ♪ 434 00:19:31,291 --> 00:19:33,842 ♪ THAT YOU CAN KEEP INSIDE YA ♪ 435 00:19:33,843 --> 00:19:35,634 - JOE! - AND DANI! 436 00:19:35,635 --> 00:19:37,005 - LEN! - AND MEL! 437 00:19:37,006 --> 00:19:38,797 ♪ ALL HOPE YOUR BIRTHDAY'S ♪ 438 00:19:38,798 --> 00:19:41,059 ♪ REALLY SWELL ♪ 439 00:19:41,060 --> 00:19:43,352 ♪ AND WHETHER OUR SONG IS SHORT ♪ 440 00:19:43,353 --> 00:19:46,765 ♪ OR WHETHER IT IS LONG-O ♪ 441 00:19:46,766 --> 00:19:49,978 ♪ WE KNOW THAT ON YOUR SPECIAL DAY ♪ 442 00:19:49,979 --> 00:19:54,022 ♪ YOU REALLY CAN'T GO WRONG-O ♪ 443 00:19:54,023 --> 00:19:55,814 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! MAYBE WE SHOULD ADD SOME DANCE MOVES. 444 00:19:55,815 --> 00:19:58,817 YOU KNOW, LIKE A LITTLE SINGLE LADIES STUFF. 445 00:19:58,818 --> 00:20:01,240 - MEL! -OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO. 446 00:20:01,241 --> 00:20:03,081 OKAY. HERE WE GO! 447 00:20:03,082 --> 00:20:04,783 - HEY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RYDER! - All: HEY! 448 00:20:04,784 --> 00:20:08,497 HEY! WE WROTE YOU A SPECIAL BIRTHDAY SONG. READY? 449 00:20:08,498 --> 00:20:10,709 Hold on, I'm about to go to a midnight screening. 450 00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:13,252 So can you guys just, like, email it to me or something? 451 00:20:13,253 --> 00:20:15,424 NO, NO, NO! THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT TO YOU! 452 00:20:15,425 --> 00:20:18,258 Call me tomorrow. Just not early. 453 00:20:22,181 --> 00:20:24,973 - WELL, THAT WAS UNDERWHELMING. - YEAH. 454 00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:27,766 WELL, EVEN THOUGH WE DIDN'T GET TO SING HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO RYDER, 455 00:20:27,767 --> 00:20:31,771 I... I STILL THINK WE CAN TAKE AWAY SOMETHING KIND OF COOL FROM THIS WHOLE EXPERIENCE. 456 00:20:33,022 --> 00:20:35,524 THAT WAS AN AMAZING INTERNET CONNECTION. 457 00:20:35,525 --> 00:20:39,908 DID YOU SEE HOW CLEAR THAT WAS? COME ON! HUH? THAT WAS ALL ME. 458 00:20:39,909 --> 00:20:42,070 - ALL YOU? - ISN'T YOUR ALLOWANCE COMING UP? 459 00:20:42,071 --> 00:20:44,324 - NO, IT WAS ALL YOU. - HM... 460 00:20:46,786 --> 00:20:50,959 SO YOUR DAD MISSED YOUR SIXTEENTH BIRTHDAY AND HE NEVER MADE IT UP TO YOU? 461 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:53,251 - NOT EVEN A WORD OF APOLOGY? - NOT A PEEP. 462 00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:54,463 HARSH. 463 00:20:54,464 --> 00:20:55,874 TELL ME ABOUT IT. I MEAN, HE TRIED 464 00:20:55,875 --> 00:20:57,676 TO MAKE IT UP TO ME BY BUYING ME A WHITE RABBIT, 465 00:20:57,677 --> 00:20:59,718 BUT I WAS LIKE, "TOO LITTLE TOO LATE," YOU KNOW? 466 00:20:59,719 --> 00:21:01,380 AWWW. I WOULD HAVE FORGIVEN MY DAD 467 00:21:01,381 --> 00:21:03,011 IF HE BOUGHT ME A CUTE LITTLE BUNNY. 468 00:21:03,012 --> 00:21:04,883 OH, NO, A RABBIT CONVERTIBLE. 469 00:21:04,884 --> 00:21:08,597 YOU KNOW, TWO DOOR. STICK SHIFT. LEATHER SEATS. THE WORKS. 470 00:21:08,598 --> 00:21:10,479 HE GAVE YOU A CAR? 471 00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:12,691 YEAH, BUT A CAR'S NOT THE SAME AS LOVE. 472 00:21:12,692 --> 00:21:15,814 YEAH! YOU CAN'T DRIVE LOVE TO COACHELLA! 473 00:21:15,815 --> 00:21:17,235 JOE, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. 474 00:21:17,236 --> 00:21:19,898 IT'S WHAT'S FROM THE HEART THAT'S IMPORTANT. 475 00:21:19,899 --> 00:21:21,861 HE GAVE YOU A CAR. 476 00:21:22,902 --> 00:21:24,904 OH, FORGET IT!