1
00:00:08,129 --> 00:00:09,969
WILL YOU GET OFF THE
COMPUTER, PLEASE?

2
00:00:09,970 --> 00:00:11,971
YOU'VE ALREADY DONE PLENTY
OF RESEARCH ON COLOMBIA.

3
00:00:11,972 --> 00:00:15,095
I CAN'T BELIEVE LENNOX'S
WONDERFUL PROFESSOR, EVITA,

4
00:00:15,096 --> 00:00:16,396
IS TAKING HER THERE
NEXT SEMESTER.

5
00:00:16,397 --> 00:00:17,937
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY
HAVE IN COLOMBIA?

6
00:00:17,938 --> 00:00:20,690
REALLY GOOD COFFEE?

7
00:00:20,691 --> 00:00:22,982
YEAH, BUT WHEN YOU ORDER YOUR
ESPRESSO WITH TWO SHOTS,

8
00:00:22,983 --> 00:00:23,984
THEY COME OUT OF A GUN.

9
00:00:26,277 --> 00:00:27,817
HONEY, RELAX, ALL RIGHT?

10
00:00:27,818 --> 00:00:29,949
LOOK, WE HAVE SEVERAL MORE MOVES
LEFT IN THIS CHESS MATCH.

11
00:00:29,950 --> 00:00:31,991
WE DON'T EVEN KNOW IF SHE'S
GOING THERE FOR SURE YET.

12
00:00:31,992 --> 00:00:33,613
BUT I'LL TELL YOU THIS;
IF YOU GET UPSET,

13
00:00:33,614 --> 00:00:35,034
YOU'RE GONNA PUSH HER
RIGHT INTO EVITA'S ARMS.

14
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:37,248
UH, IT'S PRONOUNCED,
(exaggerated accent) EVITA.

15
00:00:38,869 --> 00:00:39,790
OH, HEY, HONEY.

16
00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:46,796
DID YOU SEE THAT?

17
00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:49,130
SHE WAS BITING THAT CROISSANT, BUT
SHE WAS REALLY BITING MY HEAD OFF.

18
00:00:50,511 --> 00:00:54,014
DO YOU KNOW, IN COLOMBIA, THEY HAVE SPIDERS
THAT CAN ACTUALLY BITE YOUR HEAD OFF.

19
00:00:55,015 --> 00:00:56,476
YEAH, I DID A LITTLE
GOOGLING MYSELF.

20
00:00:56,477 --> 00:00:57,887
(laughing)

21
00:00:57,888 --> 00:00:58,979
ANYWAY. BACK TO YOU.

22
00:01:00,141 --> 00:01:02,852
THAT PROFESSOR HAS DRIVEN A
WEDGE BETWEEN ME AND LENNOX.

23
00:01:02,853 --> 00:01:03,943
I'VE LOST HER.

24
00:01:03,944 --> 00:01:06,736
YOU KNOW, I BLEW IT WITH MY COMPLETELY
APPROPRIATE REACTION TO HER LITTLE TRIP.

25
00:01:06,737 --> 00:01:09,069
YOU TRIED TO PUT HER
PASSPORT IN THE TOASTER.

26
00:01:10,321 --> 00:01:11,991
LIKE I SAID, COMPLETELY
APPROPRIATE.

27
00:01:11,992 --> 00:01:15,245
WHY DON'T YOU JUST FOCUS ON THINGS
THAT YOU CAN CONTROL, ALL RIGHT?

28
00:01:15,246 --> 00:01:17,157
LIKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP
WITH LENNOX, YOU KNOW.

29
00:01:17,158 --> 00:01:18,748
NURTURE IT. BOND WITH HER.

30
00:01:18,749 --> 00:01:21,000
SO YOUR DAUGHTER
CALLS YOU DAD ONCE,

31
00:01:21,001 --> 00:01:22,463
AND SUDDENLY YOU'RE THE
WIZARD OF PARENTING?

32
00:01:23,664 --> 00:01:24,795
PRETTY MUCH, YEAH.

33
00:01:25,916 --> 00:01:27,917
COME ON, YOU SAW HOW I
HANDLED YESTERDAY, MAN.

34
00:01:27,918 --> 00:01:30,210
I FOUND OUT DANI HAD A LITTLE
WINE-TASTING PARTY AND... BOOM!

35
00:01:30,211 --> 00:01:31,711
I WAS ALL OVER IT.
I TOOK CARE OF IT.

36
00:01:31,712 --> 00:01:33,423
SO, YES, I AM ON A STREAK.

37
00:01:33,424 --> 00:01:36,716
LOOK, NOT TO GET TECHNICAL, BUT ONE
VICTORY DOES NOT MAKE A STREAK.

38
00:01:36,717 --> 00:01:38,559
JUST SAYING, DON'T
BET AGAINST ME.

39
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:44,854
UM, HEY, I WAS THINKING. YOU KNOW,
YOU'VE STUDIED MORE IN ONE MONTH

40
00:01:44,855 --> 00:01:46,936
THAN I DID MY ENTIRE
SIX YEARS OF COLLEGE.

41
00:01:46,937 --> 00:01:48,568
YOU NEED A LITTLE BREAK.

42
00:01:48,569 --> 00:01:50,440
HOW ABOUT YOU AND I
GO GET OUR NAILS DID?

43
00:01:50,441 --> 00:01:53,443
YOU'RE JUST GONNA TRY TO TALK
ME OUT OF GOING TO COLOMBIA...

44
00:01:53,444 --> 00:01:55,995
NO, I READ THE STATE DEPARTMENT GUIDELINES.
IT SOUNDS REALLY EXCITING.

45
00:01:55,996 --> 00:01:58,578
ESPECIALLY THE PART WHERE THEY SAY,
"NEVER LOOK DIRECTLY AT THE SOLDIERS."

46
00:01:58,579 --> 00:02:00,080
I MEAN, THAT IS GOOD
ADVICE ANYWHERE.

47
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,793
SO, UH, WHAT DO YOU SAY?

48
00:02:03,794 --> 00:02:06,547
YOU KNOW, 3:00 PM AT
THE NAIL SALON, ON ME.

49
00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:10,421
SURE, LET'S DO THAT.

50
00:02:16,016 --> 00:02:17,718
- (door closes)
- NEVER BET AGAINST A STREAK.

51
00:02:18,809 --> 00:02:20,059
(theme music playing)

52
00:02:20,060 --> 00:02:21,931
- ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD ♪
- ♪ All good ♪

53
00:02:21,932 --> 00:02:23,973
- ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪
- ♪ Okay ♪

54
00:02:23,974 --> 00:02:25,475
- ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT ♪
- ♪ All right ♪

55
00:02:25,476 --> 00:02:27,767
♪ AS FAR AS I CAN SEE ♪

56
00:02:27,768 --> 00:02:29,108
- ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD ♪
- ♪ All good ♪

57
00:02:29,109 --> 00:02:31,110
- ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪
- ♪ Okay ♪

58
00:02:31,111 --> 00:02:33,072
- ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT ♪
- ♪ All right ♪

59
00:02:33,073 --> 00:02:37,778
♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK WITH ME ♪

60
00:02:41,542 --> 00:02:43,993
I THOUGHT CANCELING THE CAMPING
TRIP WAS MY PUNISHMENT.

61
00:02:43,994 --> 00:02:45,955
NOW YOU'RE CALLING
TO TELL MY MOM?

62
00:02:45,956 --> 00:02:47,747
SHE NEEDS TO KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON, DAN.

63
00:02:47,748 --> 00:02:50,880
HEY, GUYS, HELP ME OUT. I'M
HAVING A NAIL POLISH CRISIS.

64
00:02:50,881 --> 00:02:53,673
SHOULD I GO SAFE, WITH
PUT A RING ON IT RED,

65
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,595
OR ROLL THE DICE,

66
00:02:55,596 --> 00:02:57,848
WITH TWERKQUOISE.

67
00:03:00,971 --> 00:03:02,972
YOU CAN NOT TELL MY
MOM I DRANK WINE.

68
00:03:02,973 --> 00:03:05,104
SHE'S A TOTAL HARD-ASS
ABOUT THIS STUFF.

69
00:03:05,105 --> 00:03:07,397
WAIT A SECOND, AN ACUPUNCTURIST
WHO TOURS WITH ROCK BANDS

70
00:03:07,398 --> 00:03:08,568
IS A HARD-ASS ABOUT DRINKING?

71
00:03:08,569 --> 00:03:10,069
THAT'S EXACTLY WHY.

72
00:03:10,070 --> 00:03:13,022
SHE'S SEEN THE DAMAGE, AND NOW
SHE HAS A ZERO-TOLERANCE POLICY

73
00:03:13,023 --> 00:03:15,735
ABOUT DRUGS, ALCOHOL...

74
00:03:15,736 --> 00:03:17,658
AND, FOR SOME REASON,
THE JONAS BROTHERS.

75
00:03:18,869 --> 00:03:20,119
FELICIA NEEDS TO
KNOW, ALL RIGHT?

76
00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:21,581
AND YOU'RE GONNA BE
THE ONE TO TELL HER.

77
00:03:21,582 --> 00:03:23,533
WHAT? N-NO, PLEASE.

78
00:03:23,534 --> 00:03:24,825
COME ON, JOE. ISN'T THAT...

79
00:03:25,826 --> 00:03:27,788
A WONDERFUL WAY TO SHOW
YOUR DAUGHTER YOU LOVE HER?

80
00:03:30,381 --> 00:03:31,882
HERE'S YOUR PHONE, HONEY.
DIAL IT.

81
00:03:32,883 --> 00:03:33,883
(stammering)

82
00:03:33,884 --> 00:03:35,885
BUT I THINK I FORGOT THE NUMBER.

83
00:03:35,886 --> 00:03:38,217
YOU DID? LET ME
HELP YOU WITH THAT.

84
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,430
- (beeps)
- DIAL, "MOM."

85
00:03:40,431 --> 00:03:41,642
HERE YOU GO.

86
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,804
UM...

87
00:03:44,805 --> 00:03:45,975
HI, MOM.

88
00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:49,559
YEAH, I'M FINE. I'M CALLING
TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.

89
00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:52,061
SEE, I HAD SOME
GIRLFRIENDS OVER...

90
00:03:52,062 --> 00:03:54,274
ANYWAY, UM...

91
00:03:54,275 --> 00:03:56,946
THERE WAS SOME WINE THERE,
AND THEY DRANK SOME.

92
00:03:56,947 --> 00:03:59,529
SO I HAD SOME TOO,

93
00:03:59,530 --> 00:04:00,781
TO BE SOCIABLE.

94
00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:05,955
YES, I KNOW I MADE A MISTAKE,
BUT DAD IS HANDLING IT.

95
00:04:05,956 --> 00:04:08,038
(mouthing)

96
00:04:10,421 --> 00:04:11,501
MM-KAY.

97
00:04:11,502 --> 00:04:12,922
SEE YOU WHEN THE TOUR'S OVER.

98
00:04:12,923 --> 00:04:14,295
LOVE YOU. BYE.

99
00:04:15,506 --> 00:04:17,637
SO, HOW DID EVERYTHING GO?

100
00:04:17,638 --> 00:04:20,430
GREAT. SHE WAS GLAD I TOLD HER.

101
00:04:20,431 --> 00:04:21,931
SHE SAID IT SHOWED MATURITY.

102
00:04:21,932 --> 00:04:25,014
YOU SEE, THE LESSON HERE IS
THAT WE'RE A TEAM, ALL RIGHT.

103
00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:28,439
A TEAM THAT ALWAYS DOES
WHAT CAPTAIN DAD SAYS.

104
00:04:30,391 --> 00:04:32,021
I'M HAPPY TO CALL YOU DAD.

105
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:34,154
JUST PLEASE DON'T MAKE
ME CALL YOU CAPTAIN.

106
00:04:35,696 --> 00:04:36,737
I'M GOOD WITH DAD.

107
00:04:40,741 --> 00:04:42,862
(sighs) AND THE
STREAK CONTINUES.

108
00:04:42,863 --> 00:04:45,114
(chuckles) DON'T FEEL BAD, MEL.

109
00:04:45,115 --> 00:04:47,327
I KNOW PARENTING CAN BE
FRUSTRATING AT TIMES.

110
00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:50,370
ESPECIALLY WHEN I MAKE IT LOOK SO
EASY, BUT, YOU KNOW. (chuckles)

111
00:04:50,371 --> 00:04:51,672
WHAT CAN I DO?

112
00:04:52,673 --> 00:04:54,004
YOU CAN SHUT UP.

113
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,677
(phone ringing)

114
00:04:58,088 --> 00:04:59,420
IT'S FELICIA.

115
00:05:00,841 --> 00:05:02,052
HEY, FELICIA.

116
00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:04,554
WHAT?

117
00:05:04,555 --> 00:05:06,927
(laughs) YES, BUT I REALLY
THINK YOU'RE OVERREACTING.

118
00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:09,849
YES, BUT I REALLY
THINK YOU'RE...

119
00:05:09,850 --> 00:05:11,190
YES, BUT I REALLY THINK...

120
00:05:11,191 --> 00:05:12,772
YES, BUT I...

121
00:05:12,773 --> 00:05:13,934
YES, BUT...

122
00:05:15,696 --> 00:05:16,937
YES.

123
00:05:18,238 --> 00:05:20,401
SO, HOW'D THAT GO, CAPTAIN DAD?

124
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,824
FELICIA JUST QUIT THE TOUR. SHE'S
COMING HERE TO TAKE DANI HOME.

125
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:27,156
OH, NO! JUST BECAUSE
YOU LET DANI DRINK?

126
00:05:27,157 --> 00:05:28,869
I DIDN'T LET HER DRINK!

127
00:05:29,870 --> 00:05:31,581
I DON'T BELIEVE THIS. I'M
GONNA LOSE MY DAUGHTER.

128
00:05:31,582 --> 00:05:33,583
AND THREE MONTHS EARLIER
THAN WE AGREED ON.

129
00:05:33,584 --> 00:05:35,375
WELL, OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT, JOE?

130
00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:38,458
YOU WERE THE ONE THAT WAS ABLE TO TALK FELICIA
INTO LETTING HER COME HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE.

131
00:05:38,459 --> 00:05:40,380
YOU KNOW, YOU CAN
GET THAT TIME BACK.

132
00:05:40,381 --> 00:05:42,383
YOU JUST GOTTA USE THAT
FAMOUS LONGO CHARM.

133
00:05:43,384 --> 00:05:44,764
YEAH, I MEAN...

134
00:05:44,765 --> 00:05:45,965
WORKED ON HER BEFORE.

135
00:05:45,966 --> 00:05:47,557
NOT THAT KIND OF CHARM.

136
00:05:47,558 --> 00:05:49,600
THAT'S HOW YOU ENDED UP WITH
A KID IN THE FIRST PLACE.

137
00:05:50,931 --> 00:05:52,682
MMM. YEAH.

138
00:05:52,683 --> 00:05:55,105
I'M GONNA DIAL IT BACK TO 50%.

139
00:05:58,148 --> 00:05:59,439
OKAY, SO I WAS GONNA
GO WITH BLUE,

140
00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:00,980
BUT THEN I THOUGHT, "WHY
NOT GO WITH BLACK?"

141
00:06:00,981 --> 00:06:04,074
BLACK IS SLIMMING. EVERYONE WILL SAY,
"HAVE YOUR FINGERS LOST WEIGHT?"

142
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,156
I WAS THINKING...
WAIT, YOU READY?

143
00:06:07,157 --> 00:06:09,409
POLKA DOTS ON ONE HAND,
STRIPES ON THE OTHER.

144
00:06:09,410 --> 00:06:11,120
- CUTE?
- CUTE?

145
00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:12,542
IT'S GENIUS.

146
00:06:12,543 --> 00:06:14,414
OH, THIS IS SO GREAT.

147
00:06:14,415 --> 00:06:18,207
IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE US GIRLS HAVE TAKEN
OUR FINGERS AND TOES ON A MINI VACATION.

148
00:06:18,208 --> 00:06:19,379
(knocking)

149
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,054
- EVITA.
- HI, LENNOX.

150
00:06:25,055 --> 00:06:27,176
HELLO, COUNCILWOMAN.

151
00:06:27,177 --> 00:06:29,008
I JUST FINISHED GOING OVER
THE NOTES YOU TYPED UP.

152
00:06:29,009 --> 00:06:31,511
I NEED SOME REVISIONS AND WONDERED
IF YOU COULD INCORPORATE THEM.

153
00:06:31,512 --> 00:06:32,642
OH, SURE.

154
00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:34,313
YEAH, I'M JUST HEADING
OUT WITH MY AUNT,

155
00:06:34,314 --> 00:06:35,775
BUT AS SOON AS WE GET BACK.

156
00:06:35,776 --> 00:06:37,897
WELL, I WAS HOPING
YOU'D GET RIGHT ON IT.

157
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,439
OH, SORRY, NO CAN DO.

158
00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:41,481
THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT EVENT,
AND IT CANNOT BE RESCHEDULED.

159
00:06:41,482 --> 00:06:43,943
WE'RE GETTING MANI-PEDIS.

160
00:06:43,944 --> 00:06:46,576
YEAH, AT ONE OF THE NICE SALONS, WHERE
YOU HAVE TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT.

161
00:06:46,577 --> 00:06:48,237
NAIL SALON?

162
00:06:48,238 --> 00:06:49,789
REALLY?

163
00:06:49,790 --> 00:06:51,120
IS THERE SOMETHING
WRONG WITH THAT?

164
00:06:51,121 --> 00:06:52,582
NO, IT'S JUST...

165
00:06:52,583 --> 00:06:54,914
OPPRESSED WOMEN
KNEELING AT YOUR FEET,

166
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:58,838
INHALING TOXIC FUMES ALL DAY, ALL SO
YOU CAN LOOK LIKE A PAINTED DOLL.

167
00:06:58,839 --> 00:07:01,841
UH, THEY WERE MASKS, AND THEY MASSAGE
YOUR HANDS AND TELL YOU YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

168
00:07:01,842 --> 00:07:04,004
WHO ELSE DOES THAT? NO ONE.

169
00:07:05,005 --> 00:07:06,636
LENNOX, I HAVE TO SAY,

170
00:07:06,637 --> 00:07:09,929
I'M SURPRISED YOU'D BUY IN
TO SUCH A CLASSIST RITUAL.

171
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:12,011
YOUR FOOT IS IN THE
HANDS OF THESE WOMEN,

172
00:07:12,012 --> 00:07:13,763
BUT YOU'RE REALLY
STEPPING ON THEIR HEADS,

173
00:07:13,764 --> 00:07:15,055
KEEPING THEM DOWN.

174
00:07:16,056 --> 00:07:17,857
WOW.

175
00:07:17,858 --> 00:07:20,940
YEAH, I GUESS I NEVER
THOUGHT ABOUT IT LIKE THAT.

176
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:23,233
MAYBE THE NAIL SALON'S
NOT SUCH A GOOD IDEA.

177
00:07:24,865 --> 00:07:26,947
OKAY, PROFESSOR BUZZKILL.

178
00:07:27,988 --> 00:07:28,988
LET'S PUT THIS IN PERSPECTIVE.

179
00:07:28,989 --> 00:07:30,830
I WANT TO TAKE MY NIECE
TO THE NAIL SALON.

180
00:07:30,831 --> 00:07:32,241
OOH, SCARY.

181
00:07:32,242 --> 00:07:35,374
YOU WANT TO FLY HER TO
THE JUNGLES OF COLOMBIA

182
00:07:35,375 --> 00:07:38,167
TO CHILLAX WITH MACHINE
GUN-TOTING DRUG LORDS.

183
00:07:38,168 --> 00:07:40,419
WHICH ONE'S WORSE. LET ME THINK.

184
00:07:40,420 --> 00:07:42,882
ON ONE HAND, YOU COULD WIND
UP WITH A LITTLE FOOT FUNGUS.

185
00:07:42,883 --> 00:07:45,135
ON THE OTHER HAND, YOU COULD
WIND UP A LITTLE DEAD.

186
00:07:46,847 --> 00:07:48,588
YEAH, SURE, I MAY
BE A NARCISSIST,

187
00:07:48,589 --> 00:07:50,890
BUT YOU, PROFESSOR, ARE A
SELF-IMPORTANT WINDBAG.

188
00:07:50,891 --> 00:07:52,181
AND WHAT'S MORE,

189
00:07:52,182 --> 00:07:53,854
(blows raspberry)

190
00:07:57,688 --> 00:07:58,768
WELL...

191
00:07:58,769 --> 00:08:00,019
CAN'T ARGUE WITH THAT.

192
00:08:00,020 --> 00:08:02,441
EMAIL ME THE FINISHED
DOC WHEN YOU'RE DONE.

193
00:08:02,442 --> 00:08:04,564
WILL DO.

194
00:08:04,565 --> 00:08:05,815
SO...

195
00:08:05,816 --> 00:08:07,486
LET'S GO GET US SOME HAPPY FEET.

196
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,158
YOU JUST HUMILIATED ME,

197
00:08:09,159 --> 00:08:11,531
AND INSULTED SOMEONE I
RESPECT A GREAT DEAL.

198
00:08:11,532 --> 00:08:12,873
I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE WITH YOU.

199
00:08:13,824 --> 00:08:15,455
I THOUGHT I MADE SOME
REALLY GOOD POINTS.

200
00:08:16,456 --> 00:08:17,918
BEFORE THE... (blows raspberry)

201
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:27,176
FELICIA! HOW DO YOU GET OFF A PLANE
AND STILL LOOK FRESH AS A DAISY?

202
00:08:27,177 --> 00:08:30,680
DANI IS LEAVING TODAY, JOE. THIS
IS NOT OPEN FOR NEGOTIATION,

203
00:08:30,681 --> 00:08:32,802
AND DON'T TRY TO PULL
OUT THAT LONGO CHARM.

204
00:08:32,803 --> 00:08:34,094
WHOA, HEY. I'M NOT GONNA
PULL ANYTHING OUT.

205
00:08:35,636 --> 00:08:37,137
NO, I RESPECT YOU WAY
TOO MUCH FOR THAT.

206
00:08:39,479 --> 00:08:41,350
LOOK, UM, WHY DON'T
YOU JUST, YOU KNOW,

207
00:08:41,351 --> 00:08:42,982
STAY HERE FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS,

208
00:08:42,983 --> 00:08:45,855
AND YOU'LL SEE THIS IS REALLY
A GREAT ENVIRONMENT FOR DANI.

209
00:08:45,856 --> 00:08:47,857
HUH. OH.

210
00:08:47,858 --> 00:08:49,949
SO YOUR IDEA OF A
GREAT ENVIRONMENT

211
00:08:49,950 --> 00:08:52,411
IS AN OPEN BAR FOR 13-YEAR-OLDS?

212
00:08:52,412 --> 00:08:54,203
LET'S NOT FIGHT, OKAY?

213
00:08:54,204 --> 00:08:56,746
LOOK, WE MADE A DEAL. DANI WAS SUPPOSED
TO STAY HERE FOR THREE MORE MONTHS

214
00:08:56,747 --> 00:08:58,457
TO GET TO KNOW HER DAD. I
THINK WE SHOULD STICK TO IT.

215
00:08:58,458 --> 00:08:59,789
SHE'S LEAVING,

216
00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:01,120
WITH ME, TODAY.

217
00:09:01,121 --> 00:09:03,213
TWO MONTHS. TWO MONTHS
IS MORE THAN FAIR.

218
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:05,875
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, JOE.

219
00:09:05,876 --> 00:09:08,087
I DO NEED SOME TIME TO
GO TO DANI'S SCHOOL.

220
00:09:08,088 --> 00:09:11,131
I'VE GOT TO GET HER ASSIGNMENTS. I
NEED TO START THE TRANSFER PAPERWORK,

221
00:09:12,132 --> 00:09:13,803
SO WE'LL LEAVE ON THURSDAY.

222
00:09:13,804 --> 00:09:14,884
THAT'S 48 HOURS.

223
00:09:14,885 --> 00:09:16,095
72 HOURS?

224
00:09:16,096 --> 00:09:17,346
24 HOURS.

225
00:09:17,347 --> 00:09:19,058
OH, COME ON. WILL YOU
BE REASONABLE, FELICIA?

226
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,980
- 23 HOURS. -WAIT A MINUTE. LET ME JUST...
HOLD ON...

227
00:09:20,981 --> 00:09:22,942
- 22, 21...
- STOP IT.

228
00:09:22,943 --> 00:09:25,895
48 HOURS, ALL RIGHT? 48...
THAT'S MY FINAL OFFER.

229
00:09:25,896 --> 00:09:27,106
SO YOU BETTER TAKE IT.

230
00:09:27,107 --> 00:09:28,238
OKAY.

231
00:09:31,111 --> 00:09:32,191
SO, WHERE'S FELICIA?

232
00:09:32,192 --> 00:09:33,863
OH, YOU JUST MISSED HER.

233
00:09:33,864 --> 00:09:35,284
AND SHE TOOK DANI?

234
00:09:35,285 --> 00:09:38,958
OH, NO! MY HUSBAND'S DAUGHTER IS TAKEN
AWAY, AND I'M AT THE NAIL SALON.

235
00:09:38,959 --> 00:09:41,041
EVITA'S RIGHT. I AM NARCISSIST.

236
00:09:42,042 --> 00:09:44,003
NO, DANI'S STILL HERE, HONEY.
SHE'S AT BAND PRACTICE.

237
00:09:44,004 --> 00:09:45,705
OH, THANK GOODNESS.

238
00:09:45,706 --> 00:09:47,838
SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
CUTE, RIGHT?

239
00:09:48,799 --> 00:09:50,169
YES, VERY.

240
00:09:50,170 --> 00:09:52,842
SO I MANAGED TO SQUEEZE 48 HOURS
WITH DANI OUT OF FELICIA.

241
00:09:52,843 --> 00:09:54,383
TWO DAYS? THAT'S NOT MUCH.

242
00:09:54,384 --> 00:09:56,175
I KNOW, BUT, YOU KNOW, WHEN
LONGO'S GET HANDED LEMONS,

243
00:09:56,176 --> 00:09:57,426
WE TURN IT INTO LEMONADE.

244
00:09:57,427 --> 00:10:00,060
WHEN BURKES GET HANDED LEMONS, WE
USE THEM TO GARNISH OUR MARTINIS.

245
00:10:01,481 --> 00:10:04,353
ANYWAY, I MADE A LIST OF EVERYTHING
THAT A FATHER NEEDS TO TEACH A DAUGHTER

246
00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:05,935
AND I'M GONNA HAVE TO DO
IT IN THE NEXT 48 HOURS,

247
00:10:05,936 --> 00:10:08,858
'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHEN FELICIA
IS GONNA LET ME SEE DANI AGAIN.

248
00:10:08,859 --> 00:10:10,820
"HOW TO PLAY POKER.
HOW TO CHANGE A TIRE.

249
00:10:10,821 --> 00:10:13,362
HOW TO HOT-WIRE A CAR."

250
00:10:13,363 --> 00:10:15,865
I HAD A BOYFRIEND IN COLLEGE ONCE
THAT COULD OPEN A BEER BOTTLE

251
00:10:15,866 --> 00:10:16,907
WITH HIS EYE SOCKET.

252
00:10:17,908 --> 00:10:19,950
YEAH, I'M NOT SURE IF I'M GONNA
HAVE TIME TO GET TO THAT ONE.

253
00:10:20,951 --> 00:10:23,292
BUT I HAVE TO TEACH HER HOW TO DEFEND
HERSELF, HOW TO SPOT A PLAYER.

254
00:10:23,293 --> 00:10:25,665
THE POINT IS, I'M GONNA BE CRAZY BUSY
WITH DANI FOR THE NEXT 48 HOURS.

255
00:10:25,666 --> 00:10:27,456
SO YOU'RE GONNA HAVE PLENTY
OF TIME TO BOND WITH LENNOX.

256
00:10:27,457 --> 00:10:29,709
YEAH, EXCEPT LENNOX WANTS
NOTHING TO DO WITH ME

257
00:10:29,710 --> 00:10:31,590
AFTER I WENT OFF ON EVITA.

258
00:10:31,591 --> 00:10:32,592
NOT MY BEST MOVE.

259
00:10:33,593 --> 00:10:35,424
WELL, I BETTER GO UPSTAIRS

260
00:10:35,425 --> 00:10:37,136
AND ADMIT TO LENNOX I WAS WRONG.

261
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,758
WHAT?

262
00:10:38,759 --> 00:10:39,929
YOU REALLY THINK YOU WERE WRONG?

263
00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:42,311
NO, BUT I'M OUT OF BULLETS.

264
00:10:42,312 --> 00:10:43,973
AND YOU KNOW WHO'S
NOT OUT OF BULLETS?

265
00:10:43,974 --> 00:10:45,185
THE COLOMBIAN DRUG LORDS.

266
00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:51,941
KNOCK, KNOCK. GOT A MINUTE?

267
00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:53,032
GO AWAY.

268
00:10:53,033 --> 00:10:55,114
LOOK, I'M TRYING TO BE SUPPORTIVE
OF THIS DECISION OF YOURS

269
00:10:55,115 --> 00:10:57,867
TO GO TO COLOMBIA WITH EVITA.

270
00:10:57,868 --> 00:11:00,329
SO I GOT YOU THIS HANDY
SPANISH PHRASE BOOK.

271
00:11:00,330 --> 00:11:03,993
YEAH, IT HAS ALL THE USEFUL
PHRASES FOR TOURISTS.

272
00:11:03,994 --> 00:11:05,745
"WHERE'S THE BATHROOM?"
THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

273
00:11:05,746 --> 00:11:07,837
"I'LL HAVE BOTTLED WATER." MMM.

274
00:11:07,838 --> 00:11:08,958
OOH, HERE'S A BIGGIE.

275
00:11:08,959 --> 00:11:11,381
"MY COUNTRY WILL PAY
HANDSOMELY FOR MY RETURN."

276
00:11:12,843 --> 00:11:13,883
AUNT MEL, YOU MADE THAT UP.

277
00:11:13,884 --> 00:11:17,506
HEY, YOU'RE GOING TO A PLACE WHERE
THAT'S A PHRASE YOU HAVE TO LEARN.

278
00:11:17,507 --> 00:11:19,008
THANKS TO, (exaggerated
accent) EVITA.

279
00:11:19,009 --> 00:11:21,300
OKAY, SERIOUSLY? STOP
CALLING HER THAT.

280
00:11:21,301 --> 00:11:22,893
(sighs) FINE.

281
00:11:26,897 --> 00:11:27,977
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

282
00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:31,020
I'M JUST REMEMBERING YOUR FACE,

283
00:11:31,021 --> 00:11:34,113
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, I MIGHT
NEVER SEE IT AGAIN.

284
00:11:34,114 --> 00:11:37,076
OKAY, LET ME SEE THIS BOOK.

285
00:11:37,077 --> 00:11:39,779
OH, HERE'S A USEFUL
COLOMBIAN EXPRESSION.

286
00:11:39,780 --> 00:11:41,530
OH, I HOPE I'M PRONOUNCING
IT CORRECTLY.

287
00:11:41,531 --> 00:11:43,492
GO AWAY.

288
00:11:43,493 --> 00:11:46,206
- IT'S PRONOUNCED, ADIOS.
- GO AWAY!

289
00:11:49,249 --> 00:11:50,830
HOW MANY CARDS DO YOU WANT?

290
00:11:50,831 --> 00:11:52,922
- ONE?
- WHOA, OKAY.

291
00:11:52,923 --> 00:11:55,384
IN POKER, YOU NEVER SAY
ANYTHING WITH A QUESTION MARK.

292
00:11:55,385 --> 00:11:57,507
ALL RIGHT? IT'S JUST LIKE LIFE.
YOU GOTTA LEAD WITH CONFIDENCE.

293
00:11:58,839 --> 00:11:59,839
GIVE ME ONE.

294
00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:00,971
THAT'S MORE LIKE IT.

295
00:12:03,683 --> 00:12:04,975
HOW DO WE DO?

296
00:12:05,896 --> 00:12:07,938
- FLUSH.
- NOW THAT'S POKER.

297
00:12:09,519 --> 00:12:11,480
THANKS. I'M GOING TO BED.

298
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:12,852
NO, NO, NO. YOU'RE NOT.

299
00:12:12,853 --> 00:12:15,985
WELL, WE'VE BEEN AT THIS LIFE
SKILL STUFF FOR FIVE HOURS.

300
00:12:15,986 --> 00:12:17,486
YES, EXACTLY.

301
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:19,158
NOW WE'RE GONNA HEAD
OUT INTO THE DRIVEWAY,

302
00:12:19,159 --> 00:12:20,820
AND I'M GONNA TEACH YOU
HOW TO CHANGE A TIRE.

303
00:12:20,821 --> 00:12:23,282
BUT I'M GONNA GET
GREASE ON MY PAJAMAS.

304
00:12:23,283 --> 00:12:25,165
NOT IF YOU DO IT THE
RIGHT WAY, SWEETIE.

305
00:12:34,795 --> 00:12:38,007
ADMIT IT. PROOFING MY PAPER
IS MUCH MORE FULFILLING

306
00:12:38,008 --> 00:12:39,929
THAN A TRIP TO THE NAIL SALON.

307
00:12:39,930 --> 00:12:40,970
IT IS.

308
00:12:40,971 --> 00:12:42,802
ALTHOUGH, EVERY TIME I HIT SEND

309
00:12:42,803 --> 00:12:45,184
I NOTICE MISS PINKY WAS
LOOKING A TAD HUMDRUM.

310
00:12:45,185 --> 00:12:46,846
(laughing)

311
00:12:46,847 --> 00:12:48,018
JUST A LITTLE LEVITY.

312
00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:51,520
I'M HAVING A BRAINSTORM.

313
00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:54,854
WHY NOT HELP OTHER WOMEN MAKE THE
SAME ENLIGHTENED DECISION YOU DID?

314
00:12:54,855 --> 00:12:57,316
WE COULD SET UP AN
EDUCATION STATION

315
00:12:57,317 --> 00:12:59,738
IN FRONT OF THAT NAIL
SALON YOUR AUNT GOES TO,

316
00:12:59,739 --> 00:13:02,161
AND TEACH IGNORANT WOMEN
ABOUT CLASS OPPRESSION.

317
00:13:02,162 --> 00:13:03,903
YES.

318
00:13:03,904 --> 00:13:05,204
THAT COULD REALLY
RAISE AWARENESS.

319
00:13:05,205 --> 00:13:06,495
RAISE AWARENESS?

320
00:13:06,496 --> 00:13:09,578
IF WE DO THIS RIGHT, WE COULD
PUT THAT PLACE OUT OF BUSINESS.

321
00:13:09,579 --> 00:13:11,370
OH, I AM GOOD.

322
00:13:11,371 --> 00:13:15,124
OH, BUT WAIT, IF WE DO THAT, THE WOMEN
WHO WORK THERE WILL LOSE THEIR JOBS.

323
00:13:15,125 --> 00:13:16,545
COLLATERAL DAMAGE.

324
00:13:16,546 --> 00:13:17,918
ACCEPTABLE LOSSES FOR THE CAUSE.

325
00:13:19,970 --> 00:13:22,301
THEY'RE NOT LOSSES, EVITA.
THEY'RE PEOPLE.

326
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,884
OH, LENNOX, YOU HAVE
SO MUCH TO UNLEARN.

327
00:13:24,885 --> 00:13:28,057
I CAN STILL HEAR THE
RINSE AND SPIN CYCLE

328
00:13:28,058 --> 00:13:30,519
OF YOUR AUNT'S SOCIOPATHIC
BRAINWASHING.

329
00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:33,192
OKAY, IS THIS ABOUT WORKERS
RIGHTS OR MY AUNT?

330
00:13:33,193 --> 00:13:36,025
YOUR AUNT IS THE ONE
SELFISHLY TRYING TO KEEP YOU

331
00:13:36,026 --> 00:13:37,737
FROM GOING TO (exaggerated
accent) COLOMBIA.

332
00:13:38,939 --> 00:13:40,359
SHE MAY NOT BE PERFECT,

333
00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:43,442
BUT MY AUNT FILIBUSTERED
CITY COUNCIL FOR TWO DAYS

334
00:13:43,443 --> 00:13:46,906
TO OPEN EXTRA HOMELESS SHELTERS
DURING THE LAST BLIZZARD.

335
00:13:46,907 --> 00:13:48,287
OKAY, MY AUNT CARES
ABOUT PEOPLE.

336
00:13:48,288 --> 00:13:49,870
I CARE ABOUT PROGRESS.

337
00:13:51,872 --> 00:13:53,623
WELL, I THINK I'D RATHER
CARE ABOUT PEOPLE.

338
00:13:54,624 --> 00:13:56,006
(exaggerated accent) EVITA.

339
00:13:59,669 --> 00:14:01,260
YEAH, I DON'T FEEL ANY
PRESSURE AT ALL ON MY ELBOW.

340
00:14:01,261 --> 00:14:03,802
IT'S GONNA TAKE A LOT MORE THAN THAT
TO BREAK YOUR ASSAILANT'S ARM, HONEY.

341
00:14:03,803 --> 00:14:06,135
I'M TIRED AND I'M HUNGRY.

342
00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:07,846
WHEN YOU WOKE ME UP, YOU
PROMISED ME PANCAKES.

343
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:10,309
PANCAKES ARE FOR KILLERS.
ALL RIGHT?

344
00:14:10,310 --> 00:14:12,471
BESIDES, YOU GOT PLENTY
OF SLEEP LAST NIGHT.

345
00:14:12,472 --> 00:14:14,353
THREE HOURS!

346
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:15,524
THAT'S IT, I'M
GOING BACK TO BED,

347
00:14:15,525 --> 00:14:17,066
AND DON'T EVEN THINK
ABOUT WAKING ME UP.

348
00:14:17,067 --> 00:14:20,189
WE DON'T HAVE A LOT OF TIME LEFT, HONEY,
BEFORE YOUR MOM COMES TO TAKE YOU HOME.

349
00:14:20,190 --> 00:14:21,981
- GOOD MORNING.
- GOOD NIGHT.

350
00:14:21,982 --> 00:14:25,695
WE HAVEN'T EVEN GONE OVER FRANK
SINATRA VERSUS TONY BENNETT YET!

351
00:14:26,826 --> 00:14:28,077
WHY IS SHE SO UPSET?

352
00:14:28,078 --> 00:14:30,659
OH, BECAUSE I PROMISED HER PANCAKES
IF SHE COULD BREAK MY ARM.

353
00:14:30,660 --> 00:14:31,951
OOH, I'LL TAKE THAT DEAL.
GIVE ME THAT ARM.

354
00:14:31,952 --> 00:14:33,993
NO! GET AWAY FROM ME.

355
00:14:33,994 --> 00:14:35,955
I'M TRYING TO TEACH HER EVERYTHING
SHE'S GONNA NEED TO KNOW

356
00:14:35,956 --> 00:14:37,917
FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE,
AND SHE DIDN'T WANT IT.

357
00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:40,259
WELL, JOE, SHE ONLY REACTED
THAT WAY BECAUSE SHE'S 13.

358
00:14:40,260 --> 00:14:42,421
DON'T WORRY, THAT ATTITUDE USUALLY
GOES AWAY BY THE TIME SHE'S...

359
00:14:42,422 --> 00:14:45,095
WELL, PROBABLY NEVER, BECAUSE
LENNOX IS STILL DOING IT TO ME.

360
00:14:46,096 --> 00:14:48,557
SHE'S STILL DOING IT? I THOUGHT YOU
WERE SMOOTHING THINGS OVER WITH HER?

361
00:14:48,558 --> 00:14:49,678
WELL, I TRIED,

362
00:14:49,679 --> 00:14:52,352
BUT SHE WAS IRRITATED BY MY
INSISTENCE THAT SHE NOT DIE.

363
00:14:53,773 --> 00:14:55,514
(sighs) LOOK, HONEY,
IF ALL ELSE FAILS,

364
00:14:55,515 --> 00:14:58,317
A TRIED AND TRUE WAY TO MAKE A WOMAN
WHO'S TRULY UPSET FEEL BETTER

365
00:14:58,318 --> 00:14:59,979
IS TO TELL HER HOW
NICE HER HAIR LOOKS.

366
00:14:59,980 --> 00:15:02,651
- THAT'S YOUR ADVICE?
- IT WORKS EVERY TIME.

367
00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:04,945
THAT'S STUPID AND CONDESCENDING.
THAT WOULD NEVER WORK ON ME.

368
00:15:06,076 --> 00:15:07,786
WELL, IF COURSE IT WOULDN'T
WORK ON YOU, HONEY,

369
00:15:07,787 --> 00:15:09,789
BECAUSE YOU'RE WAY TOO SMART AND
BEAUTIFUL TO FALL FOR THAT.

370
00:15:10,951 --> 00:15:12,292
I AM.

371
00:15:13,333 --> 00:15:15,624
AND IF YOU'RE SUCH A
WIZARD AT PARENTING,

372
00:15:15,625 --> 00:15:18,457
HOW COME YOUR DAUGHTER JUST
STORMED AWAY, ANGRY AT YOU?

373
00:15:18,458 --> 00:15:20,749
BECAUSE THIS IS AN ODD CASE. I'M
TRYING TO CRAM IT ALL IN THERE

374
00:15:20,750 --> 00:15:23,633
IN THE NEXT 48 HOURS,
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW...

375
00:15:24,884 --> 00:15:26,595
I DON'T KNOW IF I'M EVER
GONNA SEE HER AGAIN.

376
00:15:26,596 --> 00:15:28,887
WHAT? JOE, AREN'T YOU
OVERREACTING A LITTLE?

377
00:15:28,888 --> 00:15:31,810
NO, I'M NOT. LOOK, FELICIA
HAS FULL CUSTODY OVER DANI.

378
00:15:31,811 --> 00:15:33,552
SHE COULD KEEP HER AWAY
FROM ME UNTIL SHE'S 18,

379
00:15:33,553 --> 00:15:35,934
AND BY THAT POINT, YOU
KNOW, IT'LL BE TOO LATE.

380
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,727
WELL, DOES DANI KNOW WHY YOU'RE
ACTING LIKE SUCH A CRAZY MAN?

381
00:15:38,728 --> 00:15:40,610
I MEAN, BEING SUCH
A GOOD FATHER?

382
00:15:41,821 --> 00:15:43,902
I WAS GONNA TELL HER, BUT I'M
AFRAID IT WILL SCARE HER.

383
00:15:43,903 --> 00:15:47,066
YOU KNOW, I THINK TELLING HER
MIGHT SCARE HER A LITTLE LESS

384
00:15:47,067 --> 00:15:48,737
THAN WAKING HER UP IN THE
MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT,

385
00:15:48,738 --> 00:15:49,949
PRETENDING YOU'RE A MUGGER.

386
00:15:50,991 --> 00:15:52,072
THAT WORKS.

387
00:15:57,917 --> 00:15:59,999
OH, HONEY, I HAVE TO SAY...

388
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:00,920
YOUR HAIR LOOKS...

389
00:16:02,172 --> 00:16:03,253
REALLY NICE.

390
00:16:05,005 --> 00:16:05,925
OH!

391
00:16:05,926 --> 00:16:08,007
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, AUNT MEL.
YOU WERE SO RIGHT.

392
00:16:08,008 --> 00:16:09,428
I'M NOT GONNA BE A
SOCIOLOGY MAJOR

393
00:16:09,429 --> 00:16:10,719
AND I AM NOT GOING TO COLOMBIA.

394
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,721
I JUST KINDA GOT A LITTLE
SWEPT UP WITH EVITA,

395
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:13,932
BUT I AM SO DONE WITH HER.

396
00:16:13,933 --> 00:16:15,555
I JUST WANT TO STAY
RIGHT HERE WITH YOU.

397
00:16:16,516 --> 00:16:18,187
OH, MAYBE LATER WE COULD
GO GET OUR NAILS DONE.

398
00:16:18,188 --> 00:16:19,479
OKAY.

399
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,652
OH! I'M SO LUCKY TO HAVE YOU.

400
00:16:23,773 --> 00:16:24,814
BYE.

401
00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:29,369
JOE IS A MAGICIAN.

402
00:16:32,322 --> 00:16:33,613
(doorbell rings)

403
00:16:37,957 --> 00:16:39,328
FELICIA, WE MEET AGAIN.

404
00:16:39,329 --> 00:16:40,879
I'M A LITTLE BIT EARLY.
IS DANI READY?

405
00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:42,832
YEAH, UM, LOOK.

406
00:16:44,044 --> 00:16:46,965
I KNOW IT'S NOT MY PLACE, BUT I
THINK YOU'RE MAKING A HUGE MISTAKE

407
00:16:46,966 --> 00:16:48,627
TAKING DANI AWAY FROM
A WONDERFUL FATHER.

408
00:16:48,628 --> 00:16:50,259
FOR THE PAST 48 HOURS,

409
00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:52,681
JOE HAS BEEN TEACHING HER PRETTY
MUCH EVERYTHING HE KNOWS.

410
00:16:52,682 --> 00:16:55,304
SHE IS GONNA BE PREPARED FOR
WHATEVER LIFE THROWS AT HER.

411
00:16:55,305 --> 00:16:56,975
I'M NOT CHANGING MY MIND, MEL.

412
00:16:56,976 --> 00:16:58,768
YOUR HAIR LOOKS REALLY NICE.

413
00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:00,849
REALLY NICE.

414
00:17:00,850 --> 00:17:02,902
ARE YOU HITTING ON ME?

415
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:05,735
THEY'RE IN THE KITCHEN.

416
00:17:07,947 --> 00:17:10,409
THAT'S WHY YOU NEVER USE A DEBIT
CARD AT A GAS STATION, HONEY.

417
00:17:10,410 --> 00:17:11,741
Joe: OR THE BATHROOM.

418
00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:15,495
CAN YOU JUST GIVE
THEM ONE MORE MINUTE?

419
00:17:17,827 --> 00:17:19,578
I'M SORRY IF I WAS SNIPPY,

420
00:17:19,579 --> 00:17:22,462
BUT INSTEAD OF SURVIVAL LESSONS, I WANTED
TO HAVE FUN WITH YOU BEFORE I LEFT.

421
00:17:23,463 --> 00:17:25,794
I KNOW. I WAS JUST...

422
00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:27,796
SCARED THAT WHEN YOUR
MOM TOOK YOU HOME,

423
00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:29,429
I WASN'T GONNA BE ABLE
TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

424
00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:32,631
WHY WOULDN'T YOU GET
TO SEE ME AGAIN?

425
00:17:32,632 --> 00:17:34,012
YOUR MY FATHER.

426
00:17:34,013 --> 00:17:35,345
YEAH, BUT IT'S NOT UP TO ME.

427
00:17:37,387 --> 00:17:38,767
YOU'RE REALLY
WORRIED ABOUT THAT?

428
00:17:38,768 --> 00:17:41,441
I'M SCARED TO DEATH I'M
NOT GONNA SEE YOU AGAIN.

429
00:17:42,942 --> 00:17:44,143
Dani: WELL...

430
00:17:44,144 --> 00:17:45,895
HERE'S SOMETHING THAT
MIGHT HELP YOU SURVIVE.

431
00:17:46,946 --> 00:17:48,607
DAD...

432
00:17:48,608 --> 00:17:49,819
THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

433
00:17:54,864 --> 00:17:56,115
AND I PROMISE...

434
00:17:56,116 --> 00:17:57,616
I'LL DIVERSIFY MY ASSETS

435
00:17:57,617 --> 00:18:00,660
AND NEVER HAVE MORE THAN 20%
IN INTERNATIONAL STOCKS.

436
00:18:04,043 --> 00:18:05,125
THAT'S MY GIRL.

437
00:18:07,707 --> 00:18:08,917
DANI, YOUR MOM IS HERE.

438
00:18:08,918 --> 00:18:11,551
- MOM, HI!
- HEY.

439
00:18:14,013 --> 00:18:15,844
SO, I GUESS...

440
00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:17,426
YOU'RE GONNA TAKE DANI HOME, EH.

441
00:18:17,427 --> 00:18:19,849
UH, NOT NECESSARILY.

442
00:18:21,431 --> 00:18:22,721
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"NOT NECESSARILY"?

443
00:18:22,722 --> 00:18:26,395
WHEN I SAID THAT I WAS TAKING DANI
HOME, I DIDN'T MEAN IMMEDIATELY.

444
00:18:26,396 --> 00:18:27,816
YOU SAID 48 HOURS.

445
00:18:27,817 --> 00:18:29,438
WELL, I DIDN'T SAY
WHEN THEY WOULD START.

446
00:18:29,439 --> 00:18:30,649
YOU WERE COUNTING DOWN.

447
00:18:30,650 --> 00:18:33,402
JOE, TAKE YES FOR AN ANSWER.

448
00:18:33,403 --> 00:18:35,494
I... RIGHT.

449
00:18:35,495 --> 00:18:37,446
HEY, SO...

450
00:18:37,447 --> 00:18:39,868
JUST SO I'M CLEAR, DOES THIS MEAN THAT
WE'RE GOING BACK TO THE ORIGINAL DEAL?

451
00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:41,241
SHE CAN STAY HERE FOR
THREE MORE MONTHS?

452
00:18:42,242 --> 00:18:44,624
YES. THE ORIGINAL DEAL.

453
00:18:45,915 --> 00:18:47,746
SO, STAY FOR DINNER.

454
00:18:47,747 --> 00:18:50,169
JOE AND DANI MADE A LASAGNA
LAST NIGHT AT MIDNIGHT.

455
00:18:50,170 --> 00:18:51,420
I'LL JUST THROW IT
IN THE MICROWAVE.

456
00:18:51,421 --> 00:18:52,551
Joe and Dani: NO!

457
00:18:52,552 --> 00:18:54,012
YOU DON'T MICROWAVE LASAGNA.

458
00:18:54,013 --> 00:18:54,924
WHAT SHE SAID.

459
00:18:56,176 --> 00:18:58,388
ACTUALLY, I'M GONNA GET BACK
ON THE ROAD TO FORT WAYNE.

460
00:18:59,349 --> 00:19:01,180
WHAT ABOUT THE TOUR?

461
00:19:01,181 --> 00:19:02,312
I QUIT THE TOUR.

462
00:19:03,353 --> 00:19:04,763
SO YOU'RE GONNA BE
HOME, ALL ALONE?

463
00:19:04,764 --> 00:19:06,475
(sighs)

464
00:19:06,476 --> 00:19:08,688
DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.
I'VE BEEN ALONE BEFORE.

465
00:19:09,689 --> 00:19:11,029
YOU JUST LISTEN TO YOUR DAD,

466
00:19:11,030 --> 00:19:13,982
AND I WANT YOU TO CALL ME.

467
00:19:13,983 --> 00:19:14,984
ANY TIME.

468
00:19:18,328 --> 00:19:19,699
IT'S NOTHING. IT'S... (sobbing)

469
00:19:20,830 --> 00:19:22,201
IT'S JUST MY ALLERGIES.

470
00:19:22,202 --> 00:19:23,873
I AM TOTALLY FINE.

471
00:19:25,585 --> 00:19:27,786
I'M GONNA FIX MY FACE, AND
THEN I'M JUST GONNA...

472
00:19:27,787 --> 00:19:28,838
I'M GONNA GET ON THE ROAD.

473
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,381
I'M GONNA GO LOOK AFTER FELICIA.

474
00:19:32,382 --> 00:19:34,052
AND BY LOOK AFTER HER,

475
00:19:34,053 --> 00:19:36,506
I MEAN, I'M GONNA MAKE SURE SHE DOESN'T
CRY MASCARA ALL OVER MY COUCH.

476
00:19:38,798 --> 00:19:40,430
I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS
GONNA BE ALL ALONE.

477
00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:43,972
MY MOM WOULD NEVER
ADMIT IT, BUT...

478
00:19:43,973 --> 00:19:45,305
SHE'LL BE REALLY LONELY.

479
00:19:47,357 --> 00:19:50,650
BESIDES, IT'S LIKE WE'VE
BEEN PARTNERS FOR 13 YEARS.

480
00:19:51,651 --> 00:19:52,812
I'D KINDA MISS HER.

481
00:19:53,813 --> 00:19:55,073
DON'T TELL HER THAT.

482
00:19:55,074 --> 00:19:56,315
(scoffs)

483
00:19:56,316 --> 00:19:57,367
YOUR SECRET'S SAFE WITH ME.

484
00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:00,078
SO...

485
00:20:00,079 --> 00:20:01,531
IF IT'S COOL WITH YOU...

486
00:20:02,532 --> 00:20:03,623
CAN I GO HOME WITH HER?

487
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:08,957
YEAH.

488
00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:10,208
YEP.

489
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:13,001
'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, WE'RE GONNA... WE'RE
GONNA SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN SOON.

490
00:20:13,002 --> 00:20:14,793
YEAH, LIKE SPRING BREAK.

491
00:20:14,794 --> 00:20:15,964
HEY, YES. YOU KNOW WHAT?

492
00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:18,257
WE CAN GO ON THAT CAMPING
TRIP THEN IF YOU WANT.

493
00:20:18,258 --> 00:20:19,968
OR I COULD JUST HANG HERE.

494
00:20:19,969 --> 00:20:22,431
YOU KNOW, PLAY POKER, BREAK
EACH OTHER'S ELBOWS.

495
00:20:22,432 --> 00:20:24,052
OH...

496
00:20:24,053 --> 00:20:25,144
I'D LIKE THAT.

497
00:20:30,850 --> 00:20:32,942
- BYE, DANI. BYE, FELICIA.
- (engine starts)

498
00:20:33,943 --> 00:20:36,275
I LOVE YOU, DANI. CALL ME
WHEN YOU GET HOME, OKAY?

499
00:20:36,276 --> 00:20:37,656
HEY, AND REMEMBER;

500
00:20:37,657 --> 00:20:38,988
NEVER BUY MILK AT LIQUOR STORES.

501
00:20:40,159 --> 00:20:42,160
SO HOW ARE THINGS
WITH YOU AND LENNOX?

502
00:20:42,161 --> 00:20:43,702
OH, YOU'RE NEVER GOING
TO BELIEVE THIS,

503
00:20:43,703 --> 00:20:45,744
BUT THE ADVICE YOU GAVE
ME TOTALLY WORKED.

504
00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:47,956
WHY WOULD I NOT BELIEVE THAT?
IT WAS MY ADVICE.

505
00:20:47,957 --> 00:20:50,168
NOT ONLY ARE LENNOX
AND I ON GOOD TERMS,

506
00:20:50,169 --> 00:20:53,001
BUT SHE CANCELED THAT
STUPID TRIP TO COLOMBIA.

507
00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:53,873
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO THANK YOU.

508
00:20:55,134 --> 00:20:56,675
YEAH, YOU DO.

509
00:20:56,676 --> 00:20:58,337
TELL ME HOW.

510
00:20:58,338 --> 00:20:59,718
WELL...

511
00:20:59,719 --> 00:21:00,840
FIRST...

512
00:21:01,841 --> 00:21:03,432
YOU'RE GONNA RINSE...

513
00:21:03,433 --> 00:21:05,594
YOUR DISHES OFF EVERY TIME BEFORE
YOU PUT THEM IN THE DISHWASHER.

514
00:21:05,595 --> 00:21:06,975
OH, MAN.

515
00:21:06,976 --> 00:21:08,767
COME HERE.

516
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:10,148
- YOU WANT TO GO UPSTAIRS?
- I DO.

517
00:21:10,149 --> 00:21:12,481
I THINK WE DESERVE SOME FUN TIME
AFTER ALL THAT HARDCORE PARENTING.

518
00:21:12,482 --> 00:21:13,522
OOH, YES WE DO.

519
00:21:13,523 --> 00:21:15,153
I'M GONNA GRAB A BOTTLE
OF WINE FROM THE KITCHEN.

520
00:21:15,154 --> 00:21:16,655
NO, NO, I GOT ONE UNDER THE BED,

521
00:21:16,656 --> 00:21:17,776
AND IN THE HAMPER,

522
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:19,568
AND IN THE NIGHTSTAND.

523
00:21:19,569 --> 00:21:20,780
WHAT? I'M ALWAYS
READY FOR ROMANCE.

524
00:21:22,742 --> 00:21:24,283
HOW MUCH ALCOHOL DO YOU
NEED TO HAVE SEX WITH ME?